A Father's Mistake

Prologue

It was a cold December night walking through the streets of Cokesworth. A man entered a small little church at the corner of Slipton and Weekley. He pulled off his stocking cap and revealed a head full of short midnight black hair, all tousled from the cap and wet snow falling outside.

"Can I help you?" An elderly priest said as he approached the man.

"I was just wondering if I might audition for the Christmas choir." The man said in reply.

"I am sorry but our auditions were last weekend, you have missed them I am afraid." The priest said continuing to dust the altar.

"I see. I will be on my way then." He replied gruffly.

"Wait, you are more than welcome to stay and warm yourself, I was just tidying up before heading off to bed." The priest replied.

"I don't want to be a bother." Severus stated coldly.

"No one is a bother in the eyes of Christ my child." The priest replied.

"Humph.." Severus rolled his eyes.

"You know, we did have a man come down with the flu this week, perhaps you would like to give it a go and audition. We could always use another…baritone I assume?"

The man looked at the priest suspiciously but took off his coat and gloves and set them on a pew. He cleared his throat and started to softly sing a few lines of "Mary Did You Know".

"Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you…"

His singing while very quiet filled the small church and the priest couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the emotion in the words the man sang. When he had finished neither one spoke for quite some time.

"I can't help but think I know you from somewhere…" the priest spoke softly.

"I came here as a boy." He stated back matter of factly.

"Ah, yes right with your father. You sang in the children's choir, with a beautiful voice. You're Tobias' son, you are!" The priest exclaimed.

"This was a mistake, I should go." The man turned and quickly went to grab his coat and as his hand rested on the pew, the priest put his hand over the man's and said nothing as the man flinched terribly.

"Did I say something wrong?" The priest asked sincerely.

Three years had passed since the war, and many more since his childhood. But the pain and realities of the past were still haunting him daily. He tried to shut out the feeling, the anguish of everything that happened, but nothing ever made them go away.

After the war, he went into hiding, living his life as much as possible as a muggle in his boyhood home. He spent many nights alone, angry and ashamed. He would walk by church, this church reminded of his father and everything he did to him. His father beat him on Saturdays and dragged him to church on Sundays, some Catholic he was.

As much as this church reminded him of his abusive father, it also reminded him of singing, of letting go of what had happened many nights before and just trying to be free of it. He wanted to be free again, so that is why he had made the decision after living here for the last 3 years to walk back into this church.

"Don't shut this part of your life out, you have a beautiful voice. I can see why you came tonight." The priest said as he went to put his arm around the man.

"I just…..I just want to forget but I can't!" He gritted through his teeth.

"Forget what my son?" The priest inquired.

"I am NOT your son!" He responded angrily, shoving the priest's arm off of him.

The two sat silently for a while. The priest giving some space to the man, silently saying a few prayers for him. Severus turned to leave, regretting ever stepping through those church doors.

"Your father hurt you, didn't he….Severus?" The priest said, looking into the man's broken eyes. He stayed silent.

"He was no saint, that is for sure." Severus said as he turned to walk out the church door.

"No one should have to pay for the mistakes of their father." The priest's voice echoed off the church walls.

When the priest spoke those words, it stopped Severus in his tracks. The priest's words echoing in his mind. 'No one should have to pay for the mistakes of their father… '

Severus realized at that moment how Harry Potter must feel. Severus felt shame like he hadn't felt in years. Everything he had done for Potter, was not for Harry, it was for Lilly. He made sure that Harry Potter paid for his father's mistakes. He was a coward that felt like he could never face him again. Harry saw the memories, he knew the truth. But inside Severus knew, if he really wanted to move on, move forward in this purgatory he had been living in since Lily died that he needed to talk to him, to look him in the eye and somehow let it go.

"Severus?" The priest called, seeing that he was lost deep in thought.

"I have to go." Severus turned on a dime, spinning his coat along with him and rushed through the door.