Chapter 1

Severus paced nervously outside of a modest house at the end of the block of Godric's Hollow. Christmas lights lined the little brick row house, and the many other houses down the street. He twisted his hands out of anxiousness... He had his hood pulled over his head as much as possible as he did not want to attract any attention. Slowly he raised his hand and made a rapid knock on the door.

A young woman with fire red hair pulled back in a messy bun approached the door. Severus blinked his eyes and shook the thought of Lilly from his head. She opened the door and appeared to be with child. Severus was once again thrown off balance. Dressed in maternity jeans and a navy-blue sweater, she placed a hand gently on top of her swollen stomach.

"Can I help you? Sorry for keeping you waiting, these days I move about as fast as a sloth." The woman spoke kindly. Severus tried to avoid her eyes without being rude.

"This was a mistake; I shouldn't have come." Severus muttered and turned to go, his hood flying off as he turned. The woman reached out to touch his shoulder, and he flinched.

"Sir? Wait." She said as their eyes met. The woman was taken aback for a moment. The man's hair, midnight black with a few streaks of gray, short, and blowing in the winter wind. She looked quickly into his dark black holes of eyes.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Mrs. Potter." Severus spoke in his low familiar voice.

Without saying a word, Ginny guided Severus into their home. Shaking a little she motioned for him to sit on the couch.

"I thought...we thought you were dead…" She spoke in barely a whisper after they entered the sitting room.

"I know. Everyone thinks that." He stated quietly.

"How do I know it is really you?" Ginny said in suspicion, suddenly leaning away as awkwardly as one does when they are eight months pregnant.

"Ms. Potter, you were my only student to ever receive an above satisfactory mark on the wolfsbane potion in your first year, after nearly blowing me up." Severus stated nonchalantly.

Ginny's eyes narrowed.

"Why, How? IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS!" Ginny threw her head back still in shock.

"My head is spinning! Wait until Harry gets home!" Ginny talking slightly out of her mind pacing the room.

"Mrs. Potter please calm down; I am sure it isn't good for you in your... um ...condition." He tried to say delicately but was sure it came out a jumbled mess.

"You're right, I need to calm down, I'm acting like my mother again…" She laughed a little uncomfortably.

"Would you like something to eat? Drink?" She tried to ask in a normal tone of voice, motioning for him to sit down, as she clumsily sat with her protruding belly.

"I'm fine Mrs. Potter." Severus stated.

"Stop calling me that, it is so strange! Ginny is fine." Ginny stated.

"All right then Mrs… Ginny." Severus said, trying to be polite.

"Would you like to tell me how in the world you are still alive? And why have you come now, out of all the opportunities? Harry saw you die..." Ginny stated just as gruffly as Severus normally would speak, while shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

"It's a long story." Severus said as he sat down across from her.

"I've got time." Ginny said slyly.

"You are just like your mother, you know that?" Severus stated. Ginny raised her eyebrows.

"I am part vampire." Severus stated.

"Vampire?" Ginny blinked in disbelief.

"The night of the final battle, as you know I got attacked by Nagini. Lost a lot of blood, and well died, in wizarding terms. However, my mother was a vampire, my father was a muggle, so my vampire blood kept me undead, long enough to heal myself, if that makes sense."

"So, you really were a greasy old bat like Ron said…" Ginny whispered.

"I heard that, and no I cannot turn into a bat, Ms. Potter." Severus said, rolling his eyes.

"Do vampires have super hearing?" Ginny sort of giggled.

"Yes, and mind reading among other magical qualities. Did you not pay attention in your Magical Creatures class Ms. Ginny." He said, and suddenly so many things in class now made sense to her.

Ginny's mind was reeling, wandering thoughts of how her husband would take this news and why after all this time Severus Snape showed up at their door, two weeks before Christmas. The two sat in silence for a while, Ginny felt as if he was now reading her mind.

"How is Mr. Potter?" Severus asks.

"Good, fine." Ginny says brushing the question off.

"I sense that there is more to that answer." Severus says not looking her in the eye.

"Well, I mean how good can one be after losing nearly everyone you love, defeating the Dark Lord, and being hounded by the press on a near daily basis…." Ginny says roughly.

"The war was hard on all of us." Severus said, looking away.

"He barely sleeps, he can't walk into a room without clutching his wand. He jumps at the slightest noise. He couldn't just disappear like you." Ginny trailed off with a bit of distan while worry filled her eyes. They sat again in silence.

"Why are you here? You obviously have not wanted to be found or I am sure Harry would have found you by now. Coming to see Harry is the farthest thing from staying hidden." Ginny said with a little laugh.

"I… I wanted to apologize." He said lowly.

"Apologize? For what? He idolizes you, you saved his life, more than once." Ginny said like this was old news.

"Idolizes, me? Ha. I didn't save his life for him; I saved his life for his mother. He should know that, he saw my memories."

"For his mother, for him, does it really matter?" Ginny asked.

"It does to me." Severus stated.

Suddenly the two of them hear the door in the hall shut, as Harry starts to hang up his cloak. He slid off his boots and shook the snow off his scarf. Carefully he took off his glasses and wiped them with the bottom of his crimson sweater that was hiding under his cloak. Placing them back on his face, he called out for Ginny.

"Ginny? I'm home, sorry I am late, work kept me again. I promise I will tell Mr. Stalback that I need to start coming home earlier soon, with the baby coming." He said tiredly.

Ginny motioned for Severus to stay seated, as she slowly pushed herself up trying hard not to grunt. Severus gestured to help her but she waved her hand at him.

"Harry, there's food on the table, I was starving so I ate a bit earlier." Ginny said as she was getting up and walked slowly to the kitchen. Severus, still in the sitting room.

"I understand, I'm sorry, I promise I will be home earlier tomorrow." Harry said, pulling out a fork from the kitchen drawer.

"Tomorrow is Saturday dear, remember." Ginny said, putting her arm around him.

"Oh, right…" Harry said, distracted. A cough sounded from the sitting room, and quickly Harry, no longer tired but rushing with adrenaline, jumped, and stood in front of his pregnant wife. He drew his wand and motioned Ginny to be quiet.

"Harry….Its..." Ginny tried to get out.

"Shhhh!" Harry stated.

Harry moved stealthily across the kitchen and wand pointed at the ready. His heart racing and mind playing out all possible scenarios.

"Impedimenta!" Harry shouted as he pointed his wand at the stranger sitting in the sitting room, as Ginny gasped.

"Harry! STOP IT! We have a guest!" Ginny shouted as Severus hit the floor in their sitting room.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me for Merlin's sake? You know how I get." Harry said embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, but I was trying to let you eat some dinner first." Ginny said, shaking her head.

"Who is it anyway?" Harry asked as he looked at the stiff body lying on the floor temporarily immobilized on the sitting room floor.

"Harry, you need to sit down." Ginny said gently.

"It's who?! Well now I am glad I immobilized him, who knows who could have snuck into our house to get you. I'll get some veritisirum potion." Harry said as he tried to get up from his dinner, not believing what his wife had just told him.

"Harry, it's really him, please believe me. He knew exactly what mark he gave me on the wolfsbane potion and why, he would have only known that. He is alive, and he came to talk to you, so please release him and offer him some water. I am going to bed and lie down." Ginny said tired of her husband's ridiculousness, and sore from her growing belly.

"It's really him?" Harry said softly.

"Yes, now just go." Ginny said, rubbing his back while pushing him into the sitting room.

"How?" Harry kept asking.

"Ask him yourself, I am spent. Good night, dear." Ginny said, turning for the stairs.

Harry rubbed his now scar free forehead while walking back into the sitting room. He muttered the counter spell and Severus groaned and rolled his body off the floor. He slowly placed his hand on the coffee table and pushed himself back onto the couch. His body wasn't as young as it used to be, however with his half vampire blood he wasn't really sure how long he had.

"Nice to see you too, Potter." Severus spoke, trying not to sound too tired and old.

"Snape? What are you, how are you even alive?" Harry stuttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yes, I am indeed alive, much to your disappointment, I am sure. I survived because along with being a wizard I am part vampire." Severus said, trying to awkwardly ease the tension.

"Vampire?" Harry shook his head, somewhat confused.

"As I was telling your wife, after I was attacked by Nagini, and gave you my memories, my vampire blood allowed me to become undead if you will, temporarily, while my magic helped heal me." Severus explained.

"So, you knew you weren't going to die that night?" Harry asked, still trying to process all this information.

"Well, to be honest I didn't know for sure. I have died two other times, and have come back, I am never sure how many chances I have, especially since I am only part vampire. Everything I said to you was real. I was just as surprised to wake up alive that time as the previous two times." Severus explained.

"I don't know what to say." Harry said again, still stunned that Severus Snape was not only alive but sitting in his house.

"This secret about my lineage is something that only two people knew, Albus Dumbledore and Poppy Pomfrey."

"Albus knew you were a vampire?" Harry stated.

"Part vampire Potter, I am not completely undead. As you can imagine it made me a very valuable asset for the Order." Severus corrected.

"I could see that." Harry ran his fingers through his hair. Severus still felt a little lightheaded from the fall and rubbed his forehead.

"Why did you come here, just to tell me this?" Harry asked, still in shock.

"I came because... I. I wanted to say I am sorry, for treating you so poorly for your father's mistakes. You are not him, and I was too caught up in my emotions to see it." Severus said rather quickly and uneasily.

"You're sorry?" Harry asked, confused.

"Yes, now I have said my peace and I am sorry to have bothered you. I will take you knocking me out as a parting gift and leave you to your holidays." Severus said, starting to get up.

"Wait, you can't just come here for five minutes after THREE years and want to leave again." Harry stared at him. Severus sighed, he could see the anxiety building up in Potter, he knew the feeling well. The post-traumatic stress after the war had played a number on both. Severus realized that it wasn't fair to the boy no matter how badly he himself just wanted to crawl in a hole and never be found.

"Potter." Severus said slowly.

"Harry, call me Harry please." He asked quietly.

"Harry then,...are you ok?" Severus asked, already fully knowing the answer, but he knew it was a question that Albus would have asked the boy if he were still alive. Harry slumped down into a chair and it was like the floodgates had opened, and the waters were rushing through with no end in sight.

"I...I can't" Harry struggled to choke out.

"It's like every day I wake up and I can't catch my breath. I see all their faces, and memories. I try to hide it from Ginny, but she knows. I mean I immobilized you without a second thought...what kind of monster am I?" Harry said through the tears that were now flowing.

"If it is any consolation, I let you immobilize me, I heard you coming a mile away." Severus said, trying to make a bad joke to lighten the mood. Harry gave a small smile as he wiped away his tears.

Severus stayed silent, he couldn't give any advice, he was feeling the same daily struggles.

"I'm about to be a father, what kind of father am I going to be!" Harry said frustrated in an angry whisper.

"I don't know the answer to that Pott..Harry. But, if I were a betting man I would say that you will be fine. You have so much of your mother in you." Severus said, looking him in his eyes.

"I'm scared." Harry confessed.

"I assume that is normal. I am not much help in this area I am afraid." Severus said, looking out the window.

The two sat in silence for quite a while. Both more alike than either care to admit.

"Did you eat? Are you hungry, thirsty?" Harry said, trying to change the subject trying to compose himself.

"I'll take some water." Severus said.

Harry and Severus got up and made their way to the kitchen where Harry filled a glass with some water for him.

"Thank you." Severus said, looking around the Potter's house. It seemed to feel right, like what a home should look like. Some plants near the window, a few pictures on the mantle, and some magazines on the table with a few dirty dishes in the sink.

"So, what have you been doing for the last three years, sir?" Harry asked.

"Honestly, not much of anything. I have been living in my place at Spinner's End, mostly living my life like a muggle, only using my magic when I need. It has been…. difficult, wishing most days that I would have just died.

I know every decision I made was required, but not every decision felt right." Severus tried to explain.

"Yes, I know exactly what you mean." Harry said finally someone described the feelings that he could not put into words for the past 3 years.

"Well, it's getting late, I should be going." Severus said as he finished his glass of water.

"It's snowing pretty hard out there, we have a guest room, you are welcome to stay." Harry said looking out the kitchen window.

"I don't want to impose, I can apparate, it will be fine." Severus said, pushing himself out of the kitchen chair.

"No, I insist. Please, it is the least I could do, I owe you so much." Harry said.

"You owe me nothing." Severus hissed quickly.

"You saved my life so many times. You DIED to protect me!" Harry said again more emphatically.

"I did what I had promised your mother I would do! I...I blamed you for so many of my issues Harry, please understand I am not some saint to be put up on a pedestal." Severus stated.

"Neither am I but apparently everyone in the wizarding world thinks I should be." Harry rebutted.

"I do not envy you. That is for certain." Severus said easing back down again.

"Sir, please stay." Harry said, as he put his hand on his former professor.

Severus stayed silent for a few moments. Inside, he desperately wanted to run, he was highly uncomfortable. Not only did he somehow make the irrational decision of coming to talk to Potter, but he didn't know how to feel around the homelines, and warmth. It reminded him of going to Lily's house. A safe place, a place to feel "normal".

Oh. Lily. What would she think, she would have soon to be a grandmother? The boy knew little to nothing about his mother. Severus selfishly wanted to keep her, her memories to himself. He gave Potter just enough to understand, just a small thumbnail of what he felt and still felt for his dead mother.

"I'll stay, if that is what you want." Severus said, looking out the window.

"What do you want sir?" Harry countered.

Only one other person ever asked that question to him. Lily. Lily was the only person in his life who asked what HE wanted. His father demanded he go to church and an hour later to bring him his beers. His mother left disappointed in his "weak" powers. His friends demanded that they do their homework for them. James Potter told him on many occasions that he was worthless. The Dark Lord told him what he was worth to HIM. Dumbledore used him as his pawn in the war. He didn't know what he wanted.

He thought back to earlier that night when we walked into that church on his own accord. When he closed his eyes and thought of nothing but the music. He thought maybe, just maybe that was the start of thinking about what he wanted for once.

"I sure wish I could read your mind like you can read mine." Harry said awkwardly trying to break the silence. Jolted out of his mind, Severus responded

"I…I am not sure." He answered somewhat hollowly.

"Ok….well bedroom is 2nd door on the left of the stairs. Bathroom is down the hall. I am sure you can magic anything you require." Harry said turning to leave to join his wife, not sure if he would ever see Severus Snape again.

"Potter… I am… sorry, truly." Severus said softly.

Harry wasn't sure what to say, he felt like maybe Severus needed to be told that he didn't blame him, or that he forgave him. He still was feeling rather confused why after three years he randomly shows up. Maybe it was haunting him, just as so many things still haunted him. But just as he was about to shrug it off, he walked back over to Severus, and put his hand on him and said:

"Look at me, in my eyes." Harry said, as Severus slowly moved his gaze to him directly.

"I am not my father's mistakes" He stated firmly.

"I see that. I should not have assumed you were." Severus said trying to hold back the memories, the feelings of Lily, which was nearly impossible. Then, Potter said something he wasn't prepared for.

"And, Sir…you are not your father's mistakes."

That broke him. Not even Lily or Albus ever uttered those words to him. Those words, he had told himself repeatedly in his head the night he ruined his chances with Lily.

Severus fell to his knees and cried. He tried to stifle and move his head away, but the next thing he knew he was being pulled up and Potter was embracing him. Then a few moments later he felt Ginny Potter there too, he didn't know if his heart could handle this.

He hadn't cried like this since the day Lily died. Cradling her dead body, thinking of the millions of things he wanted to tell her.

When what felt like eternity passed, his body felt heavy and exhausted. He somehow was ushered to that bedroom Potter spoke of earlier. He vaguely remembers lying down and closing his eyes waiting for darkness to take him.

To be continued….