Clincoln McLoud

Lincoln came into school with a sullen and depressed look about him. He found himself staring at the floor as he walked to the Action News Team room to start their usual morning show. On the way, however, he saw Clyde and his girlfriend Chloe by the lockers, and from the sounds of it, the two were having a quarrel.

"You haven't taken me anywhere in a month! What is going on, Clyde? What are you so 'busy' with?!" Chloe demanded.

"I can't say, sweetcakes. I'm sworn to secrecy," Clyde answered desperately. Chloe's mind started racing. What secret was Clyde keeping. Then, an idea dawned on her.

"Who is she, Clyde? I bet it's Girl Jordan, or maybe even Stella. Is that who you're seeing behind my back?!" Chloe accused.

"I'm not seeing anyone else, Chloe, honest," Clyde defended.

"Again with the evasiveness. I don't need a guy who keeps secrets from his girlfriend. Enjoy your side piece, Clyde, we're through," Chloe declared and stormed off, leaving Clyde a broken mess. Lincoln was right there to lend Clyde a shoulder to cry on, accompanied by the rest of the Action News Team.

"Wow, I'm sorry, Clyde. I always thought you two were made for each other," Lincoln comforted.

"S-so did I," Clyde whimpered.

"I could go talk to Chloe, tell her you're not seeing me in secret," Stella offered.

"T-thanks, but I think I'd rather be alone right now," Clyde declined. As he made to walk off, Lincoln rushed up to him.

"We're here for you if you need us. Besides, I know what you're going through. Ronnie Anne and I broke up yesterday. We just couldn't make the long-distance thing work, so I know how much it hurts," Lincoln disclosed. This made Clyde stop in his tracks. He then hugged Lincoln on the spot.

"That must have been so painful. I'm sorry, buddy," Clyde consoled.

"Yeah, it was, but at least I'm not alone," Lincoln replied. Clyde then did something he never thought he'd do. He squeezed Lincoln's hand as he would have Chloe's, and to Clyde's surprise, Lincoln returned the gesture. This didn't go un-noticed by the rest of the news crew. The two boys even shared comforting smiles with each other.

"You know, we don't have to report on this if you don't want to," Rusty extended a sympathetic gesture.

"Thanks, we'd rather keep this out of the broadcast," Lincoln accepted.

"The school rumour mill will put it out in the open anyway," Zack reasoned. Lincoln and Clyde pulled themselves together and did their show as usual, reporting on Lincoln's sister Lynn Jr's team wins, of which there were plenty, Chandler McCann being caught spying on the girl's changing rooms (Principal Ramirez is contemplating expulsion) and Mr. Bolhofner's classroom is being moved back inside due to a recent health and safety inspection deeming his shed significantly below standards, and Bolhofner had to bribe the inspector for that. His pet piranha was donated to the local zoo, against his will, and proper climate control was installed into his new classroom. This brightened up Lincoln's day just a little.

The school day proceeded without anything else eventful happening, although Lincoln and Clyde were faced with a barrage of questions about their respective break-ups, such as whose fault it was, who they were seeing as a side piece, and how loud was the yelling. Lincoln and Clyde ignored them as best they could until the last school bell rang.

"So, got any after school plans?" Rusty inquired.

"Now that you mention it, Clyde and I were going to check out the new flavour Flip is advertising and the Food 'n Fuel. Anyone that can guess it correctly gets their flippee for free," Lincoln answered.

"Ooooooo, mysterious, and exciting. Mind if we tagged along?" Zach asked. Lincoln and Clyde looked fairly nervous.

"Actually, this is more of a 'Clincoln McLoud' thing, something we prefer to do by ourselves. You guys don't mind, do you?" Clyde requested. The rest of the group were taken aback by this response. True, Lincoln and Clyde hung out plenty by themselves, but always strived to include the others as best they could. This seemed out of character for them, but they had a right to privacy, so they agreed to leave them to it.

"Thanks for understanding guys. See you tomorrow," Lincoln responded and left with Clyde in tow. Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella were huddled together, confused as to what just happened.

"I don't wanna assume anything, but didn't it seem like Lincoln and Clyde were just a little too 'buddy-buddy' back there?" Liam postulated.

"Guys, we've been over this. There's nothing going on between those two," Stella dismissed, but Rusty wasn't convinced.

"I'm on Zach's side on this one. I could definitely see the sparks from where I stood. That was like a scene from one of those rom-coms Mum always forces me to watch with her," Rusty compared.

"Oh yeah, for sure. Chloe may have gotten the reason right, but the gender wrong, but we can't prove anything," Zach surmised.

"You know what Lincoln would say in this situation. This call for an Action News Team investigation, or summin' like that," Liam concluded.

"You would violate your friends' privacy?" Stella inquired.

"Eh, we've done it before, and it turned out OK," Rusty recalled.

"Er, no it didn't. We had to scrub off bird poop from your dad's suits," Liam reminded.

"OK, so we won't rent out tuxedos this time. Let's go already, we're losing them," Rusty urged. Stella sighed heavily, signalling her disagreement to the plan, but nonetheless accompanied the rest of them.

"Only to clear Clyde's name of cheating. He wouldn't do that to Chloe, I just know it," Stella resolved.

The News Team made it to Flip's Food 'n Fuel, where they saw Lincoln and Clyde getting their mystery flippee from Flip. Liam had brought his binoculars and was keeping a constant watch on the pair. Zach dug into his paranormal investigation kit and brought out his parabolic microphone.

"OK, dude, I'm not even going to ask why you have that," Rusty remarked.

"It's perfect for scoping out extra-terrestrials, or finding secret government listening devices," Zach explained.

"Right now, we need it to spy on our friends," Liam urged. Through his binoculars, he could see Lincoln and Clyde vacate the building, and retreat around the back. Liam signalled for the rest of the team to follow him to another vantage point where they could see Lincoln and Clyde. They spotted the pair sat behind the establishment, having a discussion amongst themselves.

"So, we didn't get the flavour right. It was still good, though," Clyde observed.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think this is another one of Flip's scams. You know what he's like," Lincoln guessed. The two laughed at that thought, then changed the topic to a more serious matter.

"Lincoln, don't you ever get tired of it?" Clyde asked.

"Of what?" Lincoln replied in kind.

"Of all this secret-keeping. I just want 'us' to be out in the open. Besides, sneaking around our friends is kinda dishonest," Clyde clarified.

"You think they'd understand?" Lincoln probed.

"Remember, they did suspect it at one point," Clyde recollected. The two shared another chuckle at that memory.

"Yeah, they did, and you know what, I've been thinking the same thing too," Lincoln agreed, then took Clyde's hand into his own and put his free arm around his waist. "I want to be the best lover I can be to you, Clyde, with no more secrets," Lincoln asserted. Clyde was elated with joy at Lincoln's assertion.

"You wanna tell the others tomorrow? We could share it with the school on our show," Clyde suggested.

"That would be awesome, love," Lincoln agreed. While Clyde did lean in closer, Lincoln stopped him gently. "Let's save our first kiss for when all this is out in the open," Lincoln added.

"Something to look forward to," Clyde flirted back, and settled for a peck on the cheek. From their viewing point, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella were overcome with emotion by the scene they had witnessed.

"So beautiful," Liam cried out.

"True love shall not be denied," Zach resolved.

"So much for clearing Clyde's name," Stella lamented.

"Yeah, yeah, all very well, but now we have to act surprised when they tell us tomorrow, or they'll know we spied on them," Rusty said.

"Oh dang it! I just remembered I lost the betting sheet we done drew up in case this happened," Liam recalled.

"No worries, I have the digital version on my phone," Rusty assured and presented the 'Clincoln McLoud' shipping sheet detailing which member had money on which outcome. Rusty did a small fist pump as he had $10 on Lincoln and Clyde having their first kiss before high school. Zach had money down on them coming out before then as well. Liam had picked out Gus' Games and Grub as their first official date, and Stella went even further by betting on the two taking each other to their high school prom.

"Look like we all could be winners," Liam concluded.

The next day, at school, Lincoln and Clyde brought their wishes to the rest of the News Team, and they were all for it, congratulating the pair on finding love again so soon after their unfortunate break-ups. They made plans for a 'special announcement' on their show. Rusty made sure no-one was listening at the door, Stella designed specially themed suits for Lincoln and Clyde to wear for the occasion, while Liam and Zach offered counselling for any last-minute nerves the two may be experiencing. Stella then took her place behind the camera.

"OK, live in three, two…and you're on," Stella notified.

"Good morning Royal Woods Middle School. Lincoln Loud here," Lincoln presented.

"And co-anchor Clyde McBride," Clyde interjected.

"And we're here to deliver a special announcement. You may have heard that we both no longer have girlfriends, either from the public outburst yesterday morning, or through the rumour mill (I'm looking at you, Chandler!)," Lincoln began.

"Well, we here are finally ready to bring you the lowdown on events that led up to this," Clyde stated, while taking Lincoln's hand. As the rest of the school watched from their classrooms, Chandler smirked with intense glee.

"Ha! I knew it!" Chandler mocked, while Girl Jordan and Rachel were watching the pair with sparkles in their eyes.

"This is so sweet!" Girl Jordan gushed. In the newsroom, Stella, Zach, Liam, and Rusty gave the thumbs-up to the anchors, signalling their support.

"You see, Clyde and I, weeeeeeeee….." Lincoln began. He then looked at Clyde longingly. The two leaned in closer. With the rest of the school watching to various reactions, the newsroom grinning, Lincoln and Clyde suddenly turned to the camera.

"…TOTALLY PRANKED YOU!" Lincoln and Clyde revealed in a dramatic fashion. This caused the news team's faces to switch from supportive to confused in a split second.

"Do you want to start things off, Clyde?" Lincoln invited.

"I'd love to, my good man. You see, it all started when I volunteered at Royal Woods Elementary," Clyde clarified.

Flashback begins

Clyde was assigned to lost property at Royal Woods Elementary and was tasked with clearing out anything that had not been claimed in a year, or the kids had already left for middle school. Clyde was digging around the property box when he stumbled upon an odd sheet of paper. Curious as to what it was, Clyde unfurled it to discover a betting sheet headlined 'Clincoln McLoud'.

"I wondered where that went," Liam said in the present.

"I then went over to Lincoln's house and showed him the document our friends had made," Clyde narrated. Back in flashback mode, Lincoln was pacing up and down his room.

"They made a betting chart? On us?!" Lincoln quizzed.

"I know. Us, a couple, how ridiculous is that?" Clyde remarked.

"Totally. I mean, we both have girlfriends," Lincoln answered.

"You think we should confront them about it?" Clyde asked. Lincoln then had a devilish thought enter his mind.

"I have a better idea. This calls for a prank. But before we do that, let me get Ronnie Anne on the line," Lincoln resolved. He then video-called Ronnie Anne and told her everything. After she was done laughing at the hilarity of it all, Ronnie Anne coached them on the best way to go about the prank.

"After Ronnie Anne, and later Chloe, Clyde, and I agreed on a public spectacle, we realised we would need to become really good actors. Fortunately, I have a sister in the high school drama club. After we told them what we had planned, Luan and her totally straight boyfriend Benny, agreed to help us," Lincoln continued.

"Oh, I can relate. Luna has been sending me pre-written 'coming out' speeches since the drama club's rendition of A Midsummer Night's Dream," Benny vented.

"I have to say, I have never been as proud a big sister as I have now. My little brother's first big prank. I have to document this," Luan praised.

"Luan's acting lessons really paid off, but we still needed our friends to see the 'break-up' Chloe and I staged in front of the whole school to pull it off. Fortunately, Chloe aspires to join the drama club, so this was good practice for her," Clyde explained further.

"All that was left were to sow the seeds in our friends' heads that we were a secret item. Thankfully, when you have five sisters in relationships of their own, plus you have a girlfriend yourself, you pick up a few things," Lincoln clarified.

"We knew you two were spying on us the whole time. While you were watching us at Flip's, Luan and Benny were watching you from another secret location, and relaying instructions to us from our earpieces," Clyde revealed.

Flashback ends

"They even fed us lines to read as well. We couldn't have done this without their help, so Clyde and I thank you, Luan and Benny, for your assistance in this little enterprise," Lincoln said gratefully.

"We would also like to extend our thanks to our still-girlfriends Ronnie Anne and Chloe for playing along. Ronnie Anne, you really are a pranking master. As agreed, we will send you a copy of the recording for you to play back at your leisure," Clyde added.

"And we hope this teaches you a lesson about assuming, or betting on ships that will never make it out of port," Lincoln concluded. He then pressed a key on his device that played the 'sad trombone' sound effect. Stella, Liam, Zach, and Rusty were left speechless. They had been totally played.

"Well, I don't think we have any new stories for you, so see you all on tomorrow's show," Clyde signed off and had to cut the feed himself because the rest of the crew were still stunned to their spots. As they were heading to their respective classrooms, Lincoln and Clyde were discussing their little show.

"You think that will learn them?" Lincoln reflected.

"I hope so. That took more effort than I'd like," Clyde answered.

"No doubt Luan's gonna give me a medal or something after this," Lincoln speculated. The two chuckled about the success of their big prank, but Clyde was wondering something in his head.

"Still, hypothetically speaking, if we were in a relationship, how would we tell people?" Clyde wondered.

"We just would. It's not that big a deal these days. Does it matter? We're in relationships already," Lincoln answered bluntly.

"Oh, I totally get it. Chloe's the only one for me, as I'm sure Ronnie Anne is the only one for you. Even so, something Luna once said to me while she and Sam were cat-sitting one time about 'harmless experimentation' keeps cropping up," Clyde disclosed.

"I think I'm going to have to speak with Luna about this at some point," Lincoln decided.

"Then Sam also told me Luna's going through a 'BL-obsession' phase," Clyde added.

"Do I wanna know what that stands for?" Lincoln probed cautiously.

"Boy Love. It's a genre in Japan popular with the teen female demographic, for obvious reasons," Clyde explained.

"And there's the answer I was dreading," Lincoln remarked.

"So, you think you'd be up for 'harmless experimentation'?" Clyde asked.

"Ask me again in five years and we'll see. For now, let's just get to class," Lincoln responded. As Lincoln left, Clyde was still processing the conversation.

"Hmph, I didn't hear a 'no'," Clyde said and went to class.

Author's note: April Fool's! This is something I thought of while I was writing 'Nightmare on Franklin Avenue' and just drummed together in a few hours, as I decided just this morning, that it would make a great April Fool's joke. I already did Luan and Benny's wedding last year, so I thought, why not troll people who ship Lincoln and Clyde. Disclaimer, I am NOT bashing this ship. If you want to put these two together, all power to you. This is just good fun, that is all. Aside from that disclaimer, I own nothing, all properties belong to their respective owners. Enjoy!