Chapter 2: Give Me A Reason

"Hey, fleabag!" Renji's voice growled from somewhere outside the small cave Kisuke laid in, making Ichigo blink and look up in surprise, "Get off, will you? This isn't for you, you overgrown bag of bones! It's for Tetsuya. Damn, what's your problem?"

"Oi, Renji, you wanna keep it down a little?" the Shiba heir called back, "You're gonna wake up Kisuke. He's tryin' to rest."

"Sorry," the redhead said sheepishly, "That stupid horse won't leave me alone. Not that he ever did, but I've gotta get this to Tetsuya, pronto."

"Wh-what is that?" Ichigo asked, frowning at the parcel Renji was carrying, "Is that ice cream?"

"Yeah, well, chocolate fudge ice cream cake. Had to go to the living world for it, too. Can't get this in what's left of the Seireitei."

"But, uh...it's like forty degrees and raining like hell out there. Who eats ice cream when it's this damned cold?"

"Heh," Renji chuckled, his eyes growing affectionate, "Tetsuya's got cravings for icy cold sweets. He can't seem to get enough of them. And being a part of Tetsuya's soul, Arashi's doing the same thing, just not nearly as cutely."

"Oh, I don't know," Ichigo said, looking out at the stallion as he dropped to the ground and began rolling around in the sopping grass and mud outside the caves, "He's kinda cute too."

"Yeah, well, Tetsuya's freaking adorable. And the pheromones around him are so strong we can't keep our hands off of each other. He's uh, got cravings for that too!"

"Eh," Ichigo said, scratching the back of his neck absently, "Does that mean Arashi's...?"

"Huh," Renji huffed, rolling his eyes, "He's got his damned nose up Byakuya's stallion, Ikazuchi's ass about every five minutes...although Ikazuchi doesn't seem to mind too much."

"R-right."

"I just hope ol' fleabag doesn't share Tetsuya's breeder ability, because if he does, we're gonna have a mess of little fleabags everywhere!"

Ichigo laughed in spite of himself, making Kisuke stir and open his eyes.

"Something funny?" he asked sleepily.

"Oh, Renji was just telling me that Arashi's got a thing for Ikazuchi now."

Kisuke gave a soft chuckle, then winced and groaned.

"Stop it, okay?" Ichigo chided him, slipping a hand into the shopkeeper's an giving it a squeeze, "The clan healer just got you put back together. We don't need you busting your stitches or anything."

"S-sorry, just thought it was funny, because you know, Arashi's probably already carrying, if you know what I mean."

"What? Really?" Ichigo said, looking amused.

"Yeah, you remember that Arashi emerged from Tetsuya's body in the first place. He's really just an extension of Tetsuya's soul. So...it stands to reason that if Tetsuya dies, he dies...and if Tetsuya's body changes to carry a child..."

He paused, biting back another groan.

"Hey, stop it," Ichigo said reprovingly.

"Why? It's just a little pain. It means I'm still here," Kisuke surmised.

"Yeah?" said Renji, "Well, if I don't get a move on, this ice cream cake's not going to be here."

"You don't think that's actually going to melt in this cold, do you?" Ichigo joked.

"Naw, I just meant if I stand here with it any longer, ol' fleabag's gonna come over here and fight me for it!" Renji quipped, making Kisuke laugh and groan again.

"Get out of here, will you?" Ichigo snapped jokingly, swatting at the redhead.

"Hey, take care, Kisuke," Renji said, taking his leave of them.

"I will," the shopkeeper answered, closing his eyes.

Ichigo didn't miss that fact that Kisuke continued to hold on to his hand. He sat quietly, caught up in his thoughts, for several long minutes.

"Hey, Kisuke, you awake?"

"Mhmm?"

"Your hand feels cold. Are you sure you're warm enough?"

"I'm all right," Kisuke assured him, "though I do think it'd be pretty handy to be like Tetsuya right about now. He feels the cold, but can't be affected by exposure to it like the rest of us can."

"Which explains why he can eat ice cream cake in the freezing cold, ne?"

"Yeah."

The ginger-haired youth went silent for a time, listening to the steady pounding of the rain and low rumbled of thunder.

"Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hand is cold too. And you've been here for hours. It's late. You should go and get some rest."

"Naw, I'm fine. I'm not tired," Ichigo lied, biting his lips so he wouldn't yawn.

"Are you kidding me? I can't feel your reiatsu drooping."

"Is that right?" Ichigo chuckled, "Well, the truth is, there was a shortage on blankets. They're trying to get some from the living world, but there's some problem with making sure we don't bring in too much stuff from there at once and disturb the balance of things. Anyway, it's not as cold in here as it is in my quarters."

"You could go back to Shiba Manor," Kisuke suggested.

"No, not really," Ichigo chuckled sadly, "It's in the same shape Kuchiki Manor's in. Besides, I'm fine here."

"You don't have to feel obligated to stay, you know."

"Well, I don't, so knock off trying to get me to leave, okay? You're gonna make me feel unloved or something."

Ichigo flinched inwardly at the quickly concealed flash of regret the words brought to the shopkeeper's shadowed eyes.

"That's not going to happen."

"I know," Ichigo said, caressing the hand he held, "I was just kidding, okay?"

"Okay."

Kisuke's eyes closed again and he went quiet. Ichigo studied his calm sleeping face, looking for signs of discomfort. When he was reasonably sure the other man slept, he slipped his hand free and observe Kisuke silently for a while, then leaned forward, closing his eyes and remembering.

There was this thing he did when I was hurt and the pain blocks couldn't kill the pain...some kind of use of his reiatsu that felt real soothing...

I suck at this kind of thing, but...

He focused carefully, letting out his breath slowly and trying to sense the painful areas. A soft sound of surprise and approval escaped him as he picked up several flickers of palpable discomfort. He clamped down on his reiatsu and tried to imagine it being as soft as sakura petals. It took several tries before he nervously made his hands touch the shopkeeper and he began to lightly infuse and caress the uncomfortable areas. Almost immediately, Kisuke made a sleepy sound of relief and his body seemed to relax.

"F-feels good," the shopkeeper said without opening his eyes.

"Yeah?" Ichigo chuckled, smiling anxiously, "I wasn't sure I could do it."

"You're doing that pretty well, for not being taught properly."

"Am I?"

"Yeah, but your hands are like ice."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. It's worth it to have the pain go away for a while."

The ginger-haired youth continued the infusion and gentle massage, looking up as Tetsuya entered the cave and provided another treatment to slow the poison.

"Hey, Tetsuya," Ichigo greeted him.

"Ichigo-san," Tetsuya replied, settling down next to the shopkeeper and beginning the infusion, "Have you been here all night?"

"Yeah, I didn't have anything better to do."

"And since you donated your blankets as we did, your chambers are probably uncomfortably cold, ne?"

"Yeah," Ichigo confessed, "I sure hope they can get some supplies in soon, or that this storm ends or, you know..."

"I, myself, am not so bothered by the chill, but Byakuya-sama and Renji-san have been suffering. They are being quite silly, though. They insist on still sleeping next to me, even though they know that my body temperature is affected by the cold, and though it doesn't bother me, it can make it uncomfortable to lie next to me."

Ichigo giggled softly at the thought.

"They really must love you," he said, smiling.

"Fools," Tetsuya said dismissively, "They could sleep in another chamber and keep each other warm if they weren't obsessed with being so protective of me. Well, hopefully, it will get warmer before those two freeze to death snuggling up to me."

"Aw, I don't think they care at all about that," Ichigo mused, "They're just so happy you're having their kid. You look real happy too. And to be able to feel happy when everything's been shot to hell is a pretty good thing."

"Yes," Tetsuya sighed, "it is something to brighten things, even in the worst of times. That love, that new life can go on from the ashes of war is a comforting thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, sinking into his thoughts again as Tetsuya finished the infusion, then gently removed Kisuke's hand from where it had drifted to touch his baby bump.

His thoughts continued on troubled paths, even as the area grew quiet and even the rain seemed to calm to a whisper. The cold wrapped around him, making him shiver and wrap his arms around his body, trying to keep the heat in. He tucked the blankets carefully around the shopkeeper, then touched his face gently to feel for fever.

"Ichigo, you're freezing," Kisuke mumbled.

"I'm fine."

"You should get under the blankets. We can share body warmth."

"I'll be okay."

"No, I mean you're going to shock me to death with those icy hands if you don't warm them up."

"Oh," the ginger-haired youth said sheepishly, "Sorry."

"It's okay."

Ichigo looked down at the injured shopkeeper, his heart pounding strangely in his chest and a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold, passed through him.

"You know, maybe I should get in and warm up a little. Wouldn't want to freeze you or anything."

"Sounds good," Kisuke mumbled, shifting slightly and lifting the blanket.

Ichigo swallowed hard, then slid in under the covers, apologizing as the chill on his body made the other man quiver and tighten his jaw.

"Sorry!"

"It's okay. It'll just take a minute or two for my warmth to warm you up too."

Ichigo gave a shuddering sigh of relief as the heavy chill faded and Kisuke's warmth seeped into him. The shopkeeper's arm curled around his waist and he pressed up against the Shiba heir's back, smiling.

"That's better than being out there freezing, ne?" Kisuke chuckled.

"For me, maybe, but I think I about froze your ass off, getting in with you like this."

"I've got no problem with it," Kisuke laughed, "And once you're warmed up, it'll be good for both of us, won't it?"

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, blushing.

Damn, I wonder if he can feel how fast my heart is beating...

He smells good...

"Hey, you mind helping me roll onto my back?" Kisuke asked, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Oh, sure. No problem," Ichigo said hastily, turning and easing the other man onto his back.

He remained sitting up for a moment.

Do I...? Does he want me to...?

Keeping his eyes fixed on Kisuke's, Ichigo slid back down onto the bed, laying his body along the other man's side.

"You can lie down more on my chest," Kisuke offered, "You'll stay warmer."

"You sure I won't hurt you?"

"Yeah. The pain block's working pretty well now. Go ahead."

"Ah...okay, if you're sure it won't hurt."

"It's fine," Kisuke assured him, looking amused, "I'll give a yelp if you hurt me."

"R-right," Ichigo said, flushing more brightly as he settled onto Kisuke's chest.

Oh! His heart's beating pretty fast too, he realized suddenly.

"Eh, this is a better position for me to soothe the painful spots from too," he added, tucking his face into the shopkeeper's shoulder.

Almost immediately, the shopkeeper's warm scent drifted over his senses, causing a reaction in the younger man's loins. Ichigo blushed harder, trying to keep his breathing slow, even though his heart continued to skip and race fitfully. A moment later, he felt a gentle pressure against his thigh.

Huh, he's reacting to me too, Ichigo thought, finding himself smiling.

He let one hand move from place to place on the resting shopkeeper's body, soothing the flickers of pain. Kisuke breathed steadily, relaxing more with the gentle caresses.

"You look better since Tetsuya was in here," Ichigo commented, meeting the other man's eyes in the darkness.

"The infusion did help," Kisuke agreed, "but that healing technique you're using is really what's helping more."

"Really?" Ichigo mused, "But I suck at this. Imagine what a good healer could do if he got into bed with you."

Kisuke let out a laugh as Ichigo flushed brightly and tried to recover himself.

"Oh, damn it! Just ignore me. I don't know what the hell I'm saying."

"It's fine," Kisuke snickered, "It's good to have something to laugh about."

"I thought laughing hurt," Ichigo objected.

"Every fucking thing hurts," Kisuke sighed, rubbing the Shiba heir's back and closing his eyes again, "Don't worry about it. I'm still here. Let's let that be enough, okay?"

"Whatever you say," Ichigo said, burying his face in the shopkeeper's shoulder again, "But you should really get some more rest. Before you know it, Tetsuya will be back in here to give you another infusion."

"Tetsuya's a good kid. He's got a good heart," Kisuke yawned, "He's been real helpful with my research too. I figured out how his body changes because of that breeder gene he carries."

"Sounds interesting."

"It's pretty damned profound for a discovery because it appears that gene can be manipulated in other males too. That's something we didn't know before."

"S-so, you could help another guy get pregnant...if...if he wanted to?" Ichigo asked.

"Why? You wanna give the Shiba clan that heir they keep bugging you about? You know, you could just pick one of those girls they've been throwing at you lately."

"This isn't the time to be thinking about stuff like that," Ichigo chided him, "The war's just ended and we're picking up the mess it left. We shouldn't be thinking about making more babies when we hardly have what we need to take care of the ones already here."

"Ah, you're probably right," the shopkeeper sighed, "I just can't help feeling hopeful when I see Tetsuya. That there's that kind of happiness in him makes me feel happy too."

Kisuke yawned again and squeezed Ichigo's hand.

"Anyway, if you do pick a guy to have a baby with, just give me a yell and I'll help you with that, okay?"

"You're still healing, stupid," Ichigo said, off-handedly, "No one's making any babies while you're like this."

"Well, if you want my help, you should ask soon. I don't have forever, you know."

"Kisuke..."

"Sorry, just being straightforward. That's the truth of things."

"You don't know that, for sure."

"Ichigo, you need to face the facts. I know you're looking at the bright side and trying to stay hopeful, but I know how things really are, here. You need to deal with the fact that I'm dying."

"I'm sorry. I can't do that."

"Well," Kisuke said, matter-of-factly, "That's the way things are. You can't change it by sheer force of will."

"Well, you sure as hell never cured anything by giving up!" the younger man said in a flustered tone, "Come on! If there's anyone who can find an answer, then you can. But you need to believe the answer is there. That's what you've said every other time when the shit hit the fan and someone needed a miracle. Why is this any different?"

"W-well...I guess...when it comes right down to it, it's not," Kisuke confessed, "But the odds are stacked up pretty heavily against it."

"So, that's happened before," Ichigo said firmly, "You know, I think all you need is something to, not just make you feel positive you want to survive, you need a reason to stay...a really big reason."

"I've got plenty of..."

"No, I mean...a reason like this," Ichigo answered, stunning the other man with a long, heart-melting kiss.