Chapter 3: Love Bonds
"Stop it, will you?" Kisuke complained, pushing Ichigo away and turning his head aside.
"Why should I?" Ichigo asked, resting his head on the shopkeeper's breast and feeling the fast beating of his heart, "C'mon, we've both been thinking about it for a long time."
"What are you talking about?" Kisuke sighed, "Ichigo, kissing me's the last thing that's been on your mind recently. You've been completely occupied with the war. And that's as it should be, you know? You being the only one who's bankai wasn't stolen, then our best fighter against Ywach and his sternritters."
"Hey, you were pretty damned instrumental in the war too."
"Which just goes to show that you're spouting bullshit if you say you've been thinking about you and me like that. And I don't know why Tetsuya told you. He had to be the one, right?"
"No," Ichigo said firmly, "Actually, he only confirmed something that I saw anyway."
"S-something you saw?"
"I think I was in your inner world," Ichigo confessed, "It was rainy and there were weird experiments going on everywhere, and a lake."
"What?"
"I saw you there, looking down into the water, and what was in the water."
Kisuke kept his head turned away and shook it gently in reproach.
"What's in my head is private," he said sternly, "Just because you saw it doesn't mean..."
"Kisuke?" Ichigo queried softly, "Are you...really telling me that just because I was too stupid to get it soon enough, you won't believe me when I tell you I..."
"Stop, okay?" the shopkeeper pleaded more softly, "Because you know if you go on, I'm not going to be able to say no to you. And we'll start something that's only going to get us both hurt. I know what you're doing, Ichigo, and believe me, I love you for it. But I can't let you do it. I can't let you pretend you love me, just because I'm dying."
"That's not..."
"We both know it is."
"No, it's not. I swear it's not," Ichigo insisted, "It's like I said before. Yeah, maybe it's true that I was just slow, stupid. I didn't get it before. But I had that...that dream, that vision of us, and then Tetsuya came in and said that he'd seen it too. And after that, it was all I could think about...how long you'd been looking at me with those eyes and wanting me. And I was...so dumb! I was...walking around and feeling lonely, wondering if I would ever know what love feels like. And you were right in front of me. I just..."
"Hey," Kisuke said, turning and sitting up, then taking Ichigo's hands in his, "it's really okay. It's not bad that it took you some time to think that maybe we had some potential, and I am really, really flattered that you could see yourself with me. But I can't let you throw a part of your heart away, wasting it on someone who's not going to be there for you. You're not thinking straight. You haven't thought this through at all. But...you're barely more than a kid, so I guess being impetuous just comes with the territory."
"Then, if you know that," Ichigo said, taking the other man's face gently in his hands, "Just let me be myself. Let me do what my heart tells me to do and you do what your heart tells you to do."
"Huh," Kisuke huffed softly, "My heart is telling me not to fuck with your head by making you fall in love with me, then forcing you to watch that love die. Ichigo, you're too young to..."
"To lose someone I love?" Ichigo asked, arching an eyebrow, "I lost my mom when I was six, Kisuke. But even if we'd known she was gonna die, I know she wouldn't have asked me to love her any less."
"Come on!" Kisuke pleaded, his eyes clouding warningly, "Ichigo, do you really wanna go there? And before you answer, why don't you ask Byakuya what that's like, because I don't think he's going to recommend it to you! He was wrecked when he lost Hisana-san! You saw some of the grief that he went through. He's only now coming out of that big, long, dark tunnel he went into back then, and you want to run in there with both guns blazing? I'm telling you, it's not worth it!"
"Is that what you think Byakuya would tell me?" Ichigo snapped, a tear rolling onto one flushed cheek, cause I don't think he'd ever say that he regretted loving his wife that much! We don't always get to choose the way things happen. Life's a crap shoot sometimes, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take a shot at all."
"I'm just telling you that you shouldn't be so heedless about it, all right?" Kisuke shouted, wincing as the tension in his body sent flickers of pain through him.
"And I'm telling you not to be so afraid to have hope, just because it looks like we're gonna lose each other! You could be okay..."
"It's not gonna happen like that..."
"You don't know that!"
"Look at what's in front of you, Ichigo, please!" Kisuke pleaded, "Don't...do this! You're going to get really, really hurt."
"Then, it's my choice to get really, really hurt," Ichigo sighed, sinking into Kisuke's surprised arms, "Because even that is better than watching you die and never having given us a chance!"
"Ichigo!"
"Please," Ichigo sobbed softly into his shoulder, "don't push me away. I can deal with it if you die in the end, but I can't deal with you dying and not knowing how I feel about you!"
"Stupid kid," Kisuke huffed, tears coming to his eyes as he wiped Ichigo's away, "You don't even know how you feel about anything half the time!"
"I know how I feel right now," Ichigo whispered, nuzzling the shopkeeper's cheek, "I just want to be close to you. Even if you don't want me as a lover, can I just stay here with you? Let me take care of you."
"Now, you know that's a waste of time," Kisuke chided him.
"None of the time I spend with you is wasted," Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes and nuzzling closer, "Now who's spouting bullshit? I think you just wanna drive me away from you to protect me. But that's not gonna protect me anyway."
"So, what do you want me to do?" Kisuke asked wearily, "It seems like no matter what I do, you're going to get hurt. And I don't want that."
"Then, if I get hurt, you can comfort me."
"I can't comfort you if I hurt you by dying on you!"
"Then, don't die," Ichigo said, holding him tightly.
"You know I can't promise you that."
"Yeah, well, I can't promise you that either, so we're even," the ginger-haired man concluded, "I could die tomorrow."
Kisuke gave him a surprised look and went quiet.
"I've already almost died a bunch of times. But, I'm still here right now. And right now, I feel like holding you and being close to you. And even if you hadn't been hurt, we'd have no guarantees who'll die when and who'll get left behind. So, stop trying to protect me, okay? It's no use. We might as well just do what we want and pay the consequences. We don't know how things will play out anyway."
"Huh...I guess you're right," Kisuke said, frowning and shaking his head.
"So, are you gonna kiss me some more?" Ichigo asked, his lips curving upward hopefully.
"Well...I guess that'd be all right," the shopkeeper said, meeting his lips warmly
The first few kisses were gentler, more tentative. But as the moments passed, their exchange grew more passionate and Ichigo parted his lips invitingly as he was rewarded with the entrance of the other man's tongue into his offered mouth. Ichigo held on tightly to Kisuke, stroking the shopkeeper's tongue with his and shifting so that they could feel the heat and pressure of each other's growing arousal.
Neither noticed at first, when Tetsuya appeared at the doorway and paused, blushing and not wanting to interrupt, but concern showing on his face as he considered the importance of completing the infusion on time.
"Ahem..."
"Oh! Sorry!" Ichigo said, pulling away from Kisuke, then flushing as he realized that his bulging erection was beyond being hidden, "Erm..."
"It's all right," Tetsuya laughed softly, "I wouldn't have interrupted you, but we have to keep giving Urahara-san his infusions on time."
"Lie back down," Kisuke chuckled, breathing his next words into Ichigo's blushing ear, "It'll be less obvious that way."
"Shut up!" Ichigo snapped, falling back into the snickering shopkeeper's arms.
He pressed up against Kiuske's side, watching quietly as the half-noble administered a pain block, then began the soothing infusion.
"You look kinda beat," Ichigo observed, looking up at Tetsuya's drawn face.
"W-well, the baby's reiatsu has been flaring or my spirit centers have been flaring. Then, there's Arashi, who collapsed in the rain and had to be brought into the shelter."
"Is he okay?" Ichigo asked quickly.
"Oh," Tetsuya chuckled, "he is fine...he and his twin foals."
"What? Twins? Really?" Ichigo mused, grinning, "Eh, how does that work, anyway? How'd you guys get the babies out? I mean, he's a boy horse, right?"
"He had them the same way I will have my child," Tetsuya explained, "The child I am having, and Arashi's foals remained in reiatsu form while they were developing. Our bodies formed a chamber that held the reiatsu and slowly matured it over several months. When it's time, like what happened with Arashi, my abdominal wall will lose cohesion to allow the reiatsu to exit my body. It is easier and less painful than the way women give birth, although we suffer many of the same uncomfortable side effects."
"Huh," Ichigo said, quieting and considering the explanation as Tetsuya finished the infusion, then politely excused himself.
"Did you go to sleep there?" Kisuke asked, kissing him on a ginger-colored eyebrow.
"Naw, I was just thinking."
"Dangerous thing, that," Kisuke said, smirking, "You still thinking about marrying one of those clan girls?"
"No."
"Ichigo."
"I didn't say anything," the younger man said in a flustered tone, "I was just thinking about it, okay? I didn't ask you to knock me up!"
"Good," Kisuke laughed, "because I probably couldn't manage it right now without killing myself!"
He leaned close and nipped at Ichigo's ear teasingly.
"Not that I wouldn't enjoy trying, Strawberry!"
Ichigo couldn't quite suppress a flustered laugh, despite the undercurrent of worry that still nagged at him.
"Don't you have to do something to some gene or other first?" the younger man asked, "That's what Tetsuya told me."
"Sound's like Byakuya's pretty little cousin's been playing matchmaker," Kisuke commented, "I don't know if I approve. He shouldn't be putting crazy ideas in your head."
"Tetsuya wasn't putting ideas in my head!" Ichigo insisted, a scowl coming onto his face, "He saw me with you and he could see that something was up. He'd connected with you and realized what I must have seen and just offered me some advice. He didn't do anything wrong."
"No, he didn't," Kisuke chuckled, "I was kidding, Ichigo. I'm kinda glad he said something."
"You are?" Ichigo asked, his eyes widening, "But, I thought that you were planning to come clean with me about how you felt about me after Tetsuya delivered...you know, so that you would know it was safe to..."
"Well, to be honest, I don't know if I would've gone through with it."
"What? Why not?"
"C'mon, Ichigo. You know why," the shopkeeper sighed, "I'm a shinigami with a few hundred years on you."
"Screw that," Ichigo snapped, "You know that doesn't matter. I'm an adult. You're an adult. There's nothing wrong with us being together."
"You think your dad would..."
"My old man doesn't make decisions for me, and you know that. You don't need to hold back because of what he'll think."
"But you're the Shiba heir now. You have a responsibility to your clan."
"You know what?" Ichigo said, his lips stiffening, "My clan wouldn't have this heir if it weren't for you. So, they ought to be down on their knees, giving you whatever you want for the fact that I'm here and that we've had our status restored, because none of that would've happened without you. Just...let's not fight about this anymore, okay? You should be resting and getting up your strength."
"Yeah, you're right," Kisuke agreed, settling back and closing his eyes.
Ichigo cuddled closer to him and shut his eyes too. A moment later, he opened them again as a rumble of laughter went through the shopkeeper's reclined body.
"What's so funny?" he asked curiously.
"Heh, Arashi having twins," Kisuke chuckled, "I was just wondering if Tetsuya'd figured out that he's probably gonna have multiples too."
"What? Really?"
"Yeah, probably! Twins run in families, you know. And there are twins in Tetsuya's mom's side of the family."
"Whoa, wait! Karin and Yuzu are twins," Ichigo said, frowning, "Does that mean that..."
"Yeah," Kisuke laughed, "You'd have increased odds of having multiples, yourself. There's some twins in my family too."
"Really?" Ichigo asked, blinking.
"Uh-huh," the shopkeeper confirmed, "So, maybe you don't want to be so quick to want to start making babies with me."
"Well," Ichigo laughed, "our elders are pretty concerned with enough of us reproducing."
"I don't think they want their future leader to become a baby-making machine!"
"Yeah? Well, I don't think they're in a position to decide things like that for me," Ichigo said stubbornly, "I may be their heir, but they didn't raise me. They didn't scrape my almost dead body off the ground and put me back together, and they sure as hell weren't the ones who helped me grow strong enough to protect everyone. That was all you."
"Naw, you wanted it bad enough. You would've found a way, with or without me."
"But, the point is, I didn't," Ichigo insisted, "I had you, all along. You've been my best friend for a real long time now. And now, I want us to be more than friends."
The two looked up at the doorway as Arashi walked by, followed by one lovely paint foal and one that was zebra striped and had one blue eye and one brown one.
"Wh-what the hell was that?" Ichigo mused.
"Oh," Kisuke snickered, "Even though the tykes are twins, it looks like they have different fathers."
"Uh..."
"One was the lovely and proud paint stallion, Byakuya's Ikazuchi, and one was that disaster on hooves that chose Renji, Yakkaigoto!"
"Renji has a spirit steed?"
"Yeah, kinda," laughed Kisuke, "He hasn't really mastered riding yet. Usually, the damned thing throws him off or runs away with him. Personally, I think he's pretty cute, myself. But Renji hates him...thinks he's a complete idiot."
"Well, he figured out how to make babies with Arashi," chuckled Ichigo.
"Well, it doesn't take brains so much as primal instinct," Kisuke said, shaking his head, "Continuance is a concern in any species."
"Yeah, I guess it is."
"Ichigo?"
"Hmmm?"
"Are you really considering having a kid with me?" Kisuke asked more softly.
"Well, the clan wants babies, right?" Ichigo said, snuggling closer to the shopkeeper, "and I'm not going to make babies with someone I don't love, so yeah, I'm thinking about it. Besides, it would make you happy, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Then, it would make me happy too."
Kisuke's eyes softened and met Ichigo's affectionately.
"You know, I ought to tell you you're crazy, and that you should get your ass back to your clan and make babies with whatever cute girl they choose for you. But I'm a selfish bastard, I guess. I really want to do this with you."
"That's not being selfish," Ichigo chided him, slipping a hand into his, "That's being honest."
"And I honestly love you, Ichigo."
"And I honestly love you too."
