"Did I wake you? " Hermione asked sniffing, without actually being certain of who made the cracking noise a few feet from where she was sitting, but her heart took an instant leap putting a clear picture in her head giving away her wishes of preferred company.

"I wasn't sleeping." A familiar voice clarified. She had stopped crying a few minutes ago, however she bit her lip, as her companion gave her a feeling of close familiarity and her unstable feelings were threatening to take over her and she could not afford a breakdown the very first day of their mission.

"Oh…" she muttered. She turned in the chair to now face him. She perfectly knew who was there, but in case she had any trace of doubt in her mind, it was undeniable Ron. Even under no light, she recognised his silhouette temptingly too well.

"I remembered something, I forgot to tell you." he said, clearing his throat a couple of times in the middle of sentences. He took a couple of steps forward slowly and a bit awkwardly, like his body was not reacting to his commands. He hesitated in front of her, attempted to reach the chair next to her, but ultimately rested his lower back in the sink, right in front of her. She blushed in the dark, just because she could swear her heartbeats were audible in all London.

"What is it?" she asked after he spent too much time in silence after he made his statement. A car went by the street, lighting the scene for a short period of time. He looked exactly like he did when they went to bed an hour ago or so. But something was just different. She felt a wave of embarrassment when she realised the shot of light gave him a clear picture of the evidence of sadness in her face. He must've known, with or without the proper lighting anyway. There was just no way he "forgot something" that couldn't wait until the following day.

"Thank you… for dancing with me tonight." she was grateful the shift in the lightning left them dazzled for a while, so she was sure he didn't catch the shy smile she could not help. She was most definitely not expecting him to say that or anything of the sort.

"Well" she began trying to pretend she wasn't making a big deal out of it. "thank you for asking me…" she was almost certain she heard him titter. "Although it sounded more like an order to me…"

"No idea what you are talking about" he said placing one hand in his nape. They stood in silence for a few seconds before he added: "but really… I had a lot of fun."

"Me too. Like we haven't in a long while…" She agreed. "It was almost perfect…"

"Almost?! Were my dance moves not good enough for you?" she jiggled and instinctively covered her lips to not laugh harder and wake Harry up.

"Your dance moves were just fine, brilliant I may say." she muttered, still laughing softly. "But I would have appreciated not having to run away in the middle of the party."

"Uhm yes, right. That was very unfortunatel." he left his arm to fall by his side, now grabbing the edge of the sink with both hands, supporting his weight in his arms. She could not help but notice his veins standing out on his tensed arms. She felt a rather pleasing tickling in her lower abdomen. She washed away out of her mind that interesting feature of Ron's body quickly, a subject that was invading Hermione's mind quite annoyingly often during the summer. She failed to notice though, he was looking disappointed.

"I did not know you could dance… It was quite a surprise." she said to fill the silence that was making her mind wander through dangerous territories. She could see him smiling and there was the tickle again…

"Of course I dance! What do you think of me Hermione, that I have the dance abilities of a gnome?"

"Well you didn't seem very fond of dancing before…" Ron swallowed hard and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Yes. Well. it was. different… circumstances. I guess…" said obviously nervous. Making a full stop after every word, like he was making the words up as he spoke.

"Now I will thank you then…" she said mainly to avoid the sensitive matter. She wanted more than anything to move to the next level in their relationship but, even though they spent an oddly bickering-free summer, some subjects were still too risky for them. He looked puzzled. "For the distraction I mean. I was honestly not having the merriest thoughts."

"I figured." he muttered. "I can see your snotty nose even with this poor lighting." she made a horrid expression, rubbing his forearm against his nose quite roughly. He grinned and she avoided his eyes. "I am joking." he reassured, she already knew that; her forearm was dry. "But your cheeks are sore and your eyelids swollen… and let's say you are not a very good silent cryer… Mind to tell me?" she took a big breath and suddenly the bubble of infatuation she was in popped, letting her demons in once more.

"It is funny " Hermione began crossing her arms in front of her chest and pressing hard against her body. "Harry is already snoring, he completely drifted off the second his head was on the pillow… And it is not like we haven't been in danger before but now for some reason… it feels completely different… And I can't stop thinking about it, thinking about…really bad outcomes that never crossed my mind before… I am sorry, I guess I am being too negative right now and it is the least thing we need."

"You have nothing to be sorry about 'Mione." Merlin, she loved when he dragged the first letters of her name and made them barely audible to make it sound like that.

"I just don't understand… I haven't felt as happy as I felt tonight in so long Ron! And then I just remember the awful things I have done…I think of things I might have to do… I close my eyes and all I can see is my parents face when I raise my wand at them… your mother's face when the death eaters showed up… Ginny's eyes everytime we had to exclude her…" she spoke with her voice cracking, trying to breathe through the words.

"You are not disappointing anyone if that's what you are thinking, very much the opposite."

"I don't understand why I am feeling so dreadfully awful about it… besides the utter terror of death in top of everything…"

"Because that is exactly what who-must-not-be-named wants… he wants us to feel as shit as possible… But Hermione if you think about it, about tonight… it gives us hope… right?"

"I guess you are right" she mumbled sniffing, staring at the floor. Again, she did not notice the longing look in his eyes. "I truly want to feel hopeful. I really do… but I…"

"Hang on to the happy memories…" he interrupted. "Cling to them for dear life… you can close your eyes any time now and picture this night before… well… or any happy memory you want…you deserve to feel those good things Hermione, you in particular among many people I know… ehr…Why are you looking at me like that… Do I have something…?" Hermione didn't realise she was staring at him without blinking, corners of her lips turned weirdly upwards as her chin and lips trembled.

"No, that's not it" she hurried to clarify when he brushed his sleeve through his face. "You look…" she tried to find the right words to explain. "Well.. Uhm… different…"

"Different?" he asked, frowning.

"Uhm… grown up I mean." she went for that instead of saying the most amazing man on earth. "When did that happen?" she added.

"Feeling funny now don't you?" -he mocked.

"No, I am being very serious." she said, still looking at him in adoration.

"Well… I have seen things too… that kind of bloody things makes you grow up I 'sposse…"

"I guess it does… yes…" she replied with a bit of melancholy in her tone. She held herself tight again, waves of anguish flooding her body. They have been through so much already and it seemed to be much more at stake right now than ever before. Would it be enough one day? Would she be able to just feel in love and embrace whatever came with that without a complicated mix of other horrific feelings? She realised Ron was now sitting next to her when she felt the warmth of his hand in her shoulder.

"You are shivering…" he muttered. She wiped her tears away and rested her cheek in the hand he was lying on her shoulder. His touch made her feel warm, like she was… home. "Come on Hermione, it won't be good to catch a cold now…" she lifted her head and nodded quite reluctantly. He stood up and offered Hermione his hand. "We will do this one day at a time, ok?" she took his hand and felt grateful for the man standing in front of her. "And for whatever it's worth… I… ehr, uhm I am here whenever you fancy a chat…"

"Thank you." She said blushing inevitably.

"Let's go, I'll sit with you until you fall asleep"

"Are you being serious? she asked close to tears once more. It's like he felt her panic when it was time to let go of their hands.

"I mean… uhm, if that's what you want…"

"Oh Ron… "

"It's nothing really, that's what, uhm, friends are for… right? "