As It Stands

Lizzie223

Chapter 2 - Mamoru, Motoki, Minako

Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Sailor Moon or any affiliated brands, products, and characters.

–Mamoru–

Mamoru had been through a lot of hard things in his 17 years of life.

Some could say it hardened him and created the person he was now.

Often times he would agree with that assessment.

And yet the seeing the utter anguish written in every contour of his Usako's face threatened to unleash every solitary feeling he'd had, has for her.

The Mamoru from 6 months ago would have been horrified at the sheer multitude of emotions he was feeling at that point.

He wanted, he so desperately wanted to scream that it was a lie, that she was everything to him and how much he loved her but-

But he couldn't.

For weeks, weeks, he'd had dreams.

No, not dreams.

Nightmares.

Nightmares that made his imprisonment with Beryl seem like a picnic.

They would be getting married, she looked- She looked beautiful in her white dress, every bit the princess he knew she was.

They shared a deep, soul-shattering kiss, connecting them as husband and wife, for the first time.

He remembered the Officiant's words. "I now pronounce you both, husband and wife. Everyone, welcome Mr. and Mrs. Chiba!"

Mrs. Chiba.

He had never been so happy.

She was his wife.

She was, is, everything to him.

She is sunshine, and wind, and bright, and gave irrevocable meaning to his life.

But then she screamed and his world, his life, fell to pieces as he was forced to watch and do absolutely nothing as usual because that's all-

He shook his head, forcing the words out of his throat.

"Look, I harbor no hard feelings towards you, Tsukino-san, I just don't love you anymore. This,"

He gestured to the distance between them.

"Was a mistake."

What if this was the last time he'd ever get this close to her?

He was single-handedly wrecking the best thing that ever happened to him.

A small shred of doubt snaked through his chest.

No! He couldn't afford to be an idiot about this.

If she died-

His heart twisted in his chest.

He wouldn't, couldn't, entertain the idea for a moment.

But, a small, small voice in his subconscious whispered to him,

What if she moves on?

Mamoru roughly bit the inside of his cheek, a hot flush of jealousy filling his chest.

He imperceptibly shook his head, directing his thoughts to Usagi once more.

His heart broke.

Her chin was trembling.

And as she always did, she forced herself beyond her limits.

He was making her feel this way.

That's all you're good for, Mamoru. A small voice hissed to him. You just take and take from her. You don't even deserve her.

He knew it was the truth.

But he didn't want to acknowledge it.

He knew he only hurt her.

This was for her own good.

She could be happy, without him. She'd do fine.

He refused, refused to entertain notions of what he would do once she was gone.

He didn't want to.

Not yet.

Her voice broke through his thought train.

"D-did I do something wrong? I-is it because I'm not-"

He knew what she meant, the thought brought a surge of upset through his chest.

What would it take for her to understand that he was Mamoru, and Mamoru loved, loves, Usagi, for Usagi?

Usagi was who brought sunshine to his soul, who gave him a reason to get up in the morning.

She was enough.

That was what he wished to say.

But he couldn't.

Why was he destined to lose her in every lifetime?

Pinching his nose, he sighed.

"Look, you didn't do anything. I just don't love you anymore. Admittedly, I never did."

He saw the way her fingers clenched.

He wanted to take her hand and unfurl her fingers and help because he-

He had to continue.

"And I never will."

He wanted to scream that it was a lie and hug her and never let go because he could see the way her face broke and it was his fault-

Now wasn't the time for self-reflection, he reluctantly decided.

"M-mamoru?"

Her voice, normally strong and confident, so sure, and now it was hurt and-

He forced himself to tilt his head to her.

But there was no way he could look into her eyes.

"I hate you."

And Mamoru's heart, his sunshine, his reason to leave the house, the one person that gave his life much more meaning than he thought was possible-

Was suddenly, clearly, irrevocably shattered into pieces.

—-

Are you happy now? She hates you. She said so herself now didn't she? Because it's-

Mamoru promptly dropped the glass he was holding, sending it to the floor.

"Damn."

He shakily grasped at the pieces, ignoring the sharp edges slicing his palms.

At least the pain distracted him from Usako.

His Usako.

He'd stared, desperately fighting against the urge to run after her.

He didn't.

A small part of him knew on a subconscious level that he would forever regret that.

Then he'd wandered home and barely stumbled through the door, collapsing into his bed for hours before getting some water.

Correction, trying to get some water.

He checked his watch, surprise flitting through his features at the time.

11:55.

Throwing away the spare pieces of glass, he finally brought his attention back to his hands.

He sighed.

He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

You don't have a right to be upset, after all, this is all your fault. You-

He slammed his fist onto the counter, the abrupt smack echoing through the hollow apartment.

Everything was hollow now.

"Shut up."

He huffed, walking back to his bedroom.

A sharp pain eclipsed his senses, sending him to his knees.

His eyes shot open.

"Usako,"

He shook his head.

I'm just worrying. She's fine. One of the girls would have called me if something was wrong.

Right?

*Ring* *Ring*

A harsh ring jolted his thoughts as he rushed to the kitchen.

Who would be calling at this time of night?

Adrenaline flooded his veins as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Mamoru,"

Motoki's voice sounded off, not quite as natural as it normally did.

"Is something wrong?"

Maybe he was wrong. Motoki might just need help for a test, or he could need advice or-

"It's Usagi."

Mamoru had never before felt the acute awareness of terror before that moment.

—-Motoki—-

After Usagi collapsed, Motoki went into auto-drive.

Scooping her up, he thanked whoever was listening that the Crown was only a few blocks away from the hospital.

And promptly ran like her life depended on it.

Maybe it did.

And that prospect brought him back, back-

To when he was seven, and could only watch, watch, as his dad seized with a heart attack on the kitchen floor.

His dad was okay eventually, but due to the amount of time he didn't receive medical attention, he ended up with some debilitating side effects.

He'd be damned if the same thing happened with Usagi.

The thought propelled his legs to go faster.

He gazed downwards at her mud and tear-streaked face as he wondered what the heck she was doing out at this time.

Her parents must be worried sick.

Motoki kept going. Kept moving. Although his lungs ached and his legs screamed but his chest burned with the need to help her.

In hindsight, he should've tried harder in gym class.

One more block.

He held Usagi closer to him.

What could've caused the passion in her eyes to go out like-

Like it never existed in the first place?

He bit his lip, hard.

What if she was attacked?

It would most likely explain the tear streaks and mud.

If she'd-

No.

He wouldn't go down that road.

Right now, he had to focus on getting her help.

Then he needed to contact her parents.

And Mamoru.

That conversation was going to be difficult.

If one wasn't looking closely, they couldn't tell just how deeply Mamoru cared for her.

But for Motoki? It was simple to see the depth of his love for Usagi.

He sighed with relief as he finally raced up the hospital steps, using his left shoulder to open the door.

Mind racing, he collapsed onto his knees, still holding Usagi to his chest.

"Someone help! She's hurt and she needs immediate medical attention!"

A swarm of nurses took her from his arms and placed her on a stretcher, whisking her away to be evaluated.

He waved off the concerned glances from the nurses, shifting his anxious gaze to the still rotating doors of the E.R.

It was out of his hands.

That scared him.

—-

Motoki clumsily plopped down into a hospital chair, putting his head in his hands.

You did all you could.

He knew that.

Why was it that his chest still ached?

He shook his head, turning towards the front desk.

"Can I please have access to a cellphone?"

Like a damn idiot, he'd forgotten his at home.

If he'd taken it, maybe she'd be in better condition, maybe she'd-

"Sure, here you go."

The calm nurse handed it to him, going back to typing on her keyboard.

He belatedly wished he was that calm right now.

Shakily, he dialed the Tsukino's home number.

He remembered Usagi giving it to him with a smile on her face, eyes bright.

"Just so if you need anything, we're all here!"

Her eyes were dull.

He shook his head.

"Usagi? Baby, where are you? Are you safe?" A panicked, feminine voice said into the phone.

Motoki's fist tightened on his knee.

"I'm sorry Tsukino-san, this is Motoki Furuhata, from the Crown Arcade."

A pause, and then-

"Do you know where Usagi is? She's been missing and I thought she was with her friends but she hasn't come home and-"

He gently interjected himself into her tangent.

"Yes, Tsukino-san, that's why I'm calling. I was doing clean-up and I found Usagi on the sidewalk."

Eyes dull. Stiff uniform. So utterly different-

"She's in Juuban Hospital now."

A chocked sob traveled through the line before-

"Thank you. We'll be there as soon as possible."

She hung up.

Motoki still had another number to dial.

Shakily, he dialed the number he'd known for several years now.

"Mamoru?"

Motoki's fingernails dug into his palm.

"Is something wrong?"

Mamoru's voice sounded calm, but Motoki knew him. He knew the thread of anxiety under his tone.

"It's Usagi."

Motoki thought he heard a small thud on Mamoru's side of the call.

But then again, maybe not.

"She's in the hospital."

—-Minako—-

Minako hated dread.

The last time she'd felt it, her parents had died in a car accident and she'd been left.

Alone.

With nobody to help her.

She had to learn to depend on herself.

Because in life, sometimes you have to be your own hero.

Minako laughed bitterly, swirling the ice in her drink.

It was painfully ironic, considering who she was and what she did for a living.

Regardless, her stomach was twisted into harsh knots, her heart sinking.

What is wrong with me?

Here she was, sitting alone at her table, the clock nearing midnight when she should be sleeping.

After all, it was a school night.

She laughed again, a little less anger infused in it this time.

She sounded like Ami.

Artemis had gone out with Luna again, a small smirk twisted her lips, she knew that there was something going on between them.

It was only a matter of time.

Time.

Time was a tricky thing now wasn't it?

She bit her lip as she gazed at the night sky.

There were days when she wondered.

Wondered what might have been if she'd been better, a better leader, a more responsible Senshi.

Wondered what might have occurred if she hadn't fallen in love with him.

She didn't register the hairline cracks forming on her glass.

Even after all these years, she just couldn't let him go.

She was pathetic.

Staying in love with a man that killed her.

How stupid could she be?

And yet, tears still slipped down from her bitter blue eyes.

She absentmindedly pondered a different reality.

Where they could've been happy.

But no, he just had to get himself killed right after they reunited.

Right in front of her eyes too.

She tried to snort derisively but it came out as a weak sob.

How utterly irritating.

She distantly recalled the days when she would ache to her very soul and cry out for him but he never responded.

Because he was dead.

And it was her fault.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone rang, the cheery tune a stark contrast to her previous ponderings.

She lightly cleared her throat, forcing her emotions back.

Back, where not even she had access to them.

"Hello? This is Minako speaking."

"Minako, I'm glad you're awake."

Minako frowned, an eyebrow arching.

"Motoki? Is something wrong?"

A harried sounding breath, then-

"It's Usagi, she's in the hospital."

The glass and her heart both slipped to the floor.

A/N: I know some of this seems a bit repetitive, however, I felt the need to include Mamoru's point of view. And I do know that the phone calls' were a tad bit repetitive too but I felt the need to include them. Keep in mind, in the future, unless it's utterly imperative that you all see the seperate points of views in an event- I'll most likely stick to one point of view. In this story, I will be including the p.o.v.'s of the other Senshi, including Minako, Makoto, Rei, and Ami. I will be going into some angst with them in this story but most likely I will fully delve into it in a different story.

I found it strange how they were just expected to continue like they didn't just see their lovers killed in front of them. What. The. Crap. So I will most definitely be including their point of view, and not just relating to Usagi. In terms of Motoki, no, he does not like her as more than a sister, however, he does worry about her and it is scary as crud to see someone you care about collapsed and defeated like that. In terms of Mamoru and Usagi, their relationship is going to go through many hurdles. As always, thank you all so much for your support! Stay happy, healthy, and be kind!

-Lizzie