As It Stands

Lizzie223

Chapter 3 - Usagi, Minako, Mamoru

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Sailor Moon or any branding, merchandise, or movies affiliated with Sailor Moon.

–Usagi–

It was dark.

Not a therapeutic darkness, where one could still see the stars.

No.

She wasn't that lucky.

She was never that lucky.

Lucky would be avoiding finding Luna that day.

Lucky would be the realization that she wasn't in fact, the moon princess.

Lucky, would be not falling in love with him.

But she was the moon princess, she had fallen in love with him, and now she was paying for it.

It was her fault.

This darkness was thick and all-consuming, and painful.

The Usagi from a year ago, heck, the Usagi from 3 months ago, would have been positively terrified at this turn of events.

That Usagi might as well be a complete stranger.

She couldn't feel her body.

That's not healthy now, is it?

She wished she was shocked at how little she cared.

But she wasn't.

Truthfully, a small part of her wished to fall deep, deep, into the darkness and never come up because-

No.

Because that wasn't possible.

She had responsibilities.

Sure, she failed at them most of the time but she still had them.

She couldn't leave her Senshi behind.

She knew they'd blame themselves.

She wished they'd blame her.

She knew she did.

But they never would.

Lightning bolts of pain coursed through her.

The darkness, if possible, became thicker.

Consuming her, blinding her, choking her.

She'd like to say she put up a resistance.

Maybe she did.

But at that point, her walls, her resistance, had been down for a long time.

That the thought of darkness was terrifying.

But truthfully, tragically, honestly?

She found it somewhat comforting.

With that, she willingly, unwillingly! sunk in deeper.

And knew she'd hate herself for it.

–Minako–

Minako couldn't properly describe the feelings that coursed through her veins as she sped down the sidewalk.

Dreadfearfearherfaultherfaultherfault-

She should have been there.

But she was never on time when people needed her now was she?

First her parents, then Kunzite, and now Usa-

She shook her head, ignoring the liquid coursing down her cheeks.

No.

Usagi would be okay.

She'd have to be okay.

Minako found that she couldn't entertain the idea of the opposite occurring.

It was unfathomable!

There was no way she could picture a world without-

So she wouldn't.

That was that.

She wasn't going to ponder for one moment about it because it wasn't going to happen.

Not to her.

Not Usagi.

Minako's vision blurred further as she kept running.

Damn.

Why was the hospital so far away?!

She placed one of her hands on the wall, the other clenching her knee as she gasped for air.

She was Sailor Venus damn it!

This shouldn't tire her at all!

She looked down at her hands.

They were shaking, trembling, she was useless while-

Her communicator!

How could she be so idiotic?

Shakily, she clicked the all-call button and continued running.

Running, running, running.

One would think she'd be used to it by now.

That was all she ever did anyways.

—-

When Minako finally arrived, chest aching and head pounding with the force of her emotions, her gaze automatically riveted to Motoki.

She gasped for air, desperately attempting to calm herself, to look composed, refined.

Everything she wasn't at the moment.

After calling the girls, she'd run as fast as she could, ignoring the way her legs ached and her throat stung.

They should be here any minute now.

"Motoki,"

Her voice sounded alien even to herself.

She clumsily plopped into the seat next to him, strongly resisting the urge to pass out then and there.

But no, she had things to do.

As always.

"What happened?"

Her voice was calm, too calm.

She was almost proud of herself for keeping her turbulent emotions under wrap.

Or was it lock and key?

She didn't know the difference anymore.

He turned his eyes to her.

He looked haunted, yet his eyes still held concern for her.

That didn't matter right now.

What had he seen?

How bad would Usagi had to have been for him to look like this?

He looked to his hands, which were currently clenched around his knees, then back to her.

"I was cleaning up like I always do. Then I saw a figure stumbling around outside."

Motoki paused, a shuddering breath filling his lungs.

She looked to him, subtly nodding and urging him to continue.

"I grabbed my broom, and decided to go check it out, you know? I figured if it was a drunk but on the off chance it was someone else, I needed to help them you know? It was-"

He shook his head, running a hand through his unruly blonde locks.

"Sorry. Anyways, once I got close to her, I realized it was Usagi and-"

His head tilted downwards, some of his hair overshadowing his eyes.

Minako bit her lip, gently laying a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, you don't have to share everything-"

He waved a hand, a small smile appearing on his face.

"It's okay."

She had enough practice with fake smiles to know when she saw one.

"But I saw her, and she was,"

He paused, struggling to find the right words.

"Different. It was like she didn't even see me even though I was right in front of her. The nurses called it shock. Then,"

He bit his lip roughly, clenching his fists.

Minako tasted metal but refused to acknowledge it.

"She started coughing up blood. At that point, I took her to the hospital and the rest is history."

He attempted to smile but it fell short.

Minako understood the struggle.

She shut her eyes, letting the meaning of his words wash over her.

I'm no doctor but coughing up blood is a bad sign isn't it?

Silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

She turned to Motoki again.

"Her parents?"

Her voice was weak but she couldn't find the strength to strengthen it.

She was always weak.

Motoki looked at her, his brow furrowing.

"They already came and are talking with her doctor now."

Good. At least she didn't have to call them.

"And Mam-"

Motoki waved his hand, slumping into his chair further.

"I told him."

She shakily jerked her head forwards into a nod, then buried her head into her trembling hands.

She didn't register the slightly shaking hands encircling her shoulders, holding her while she cried.

–Mamoru–

Mamoru had always hated hospitals.

His first memory was of a hospital.

Bright fluorescent lights, the smell.

It nauseated him.

But Usagi was in there now.

In a hospital.

And he couldn't do anything.

He had no control.

And the subtle but petrifying truth of that statement scarred him.

Truthfully, Mamoru had never run faster in his life.

His feet pounded against the pavement, each stride sending him towards her.

She'd be okay.

She had to be.

Right?

If she wasn't-

He shook his head, subconsciously thankful for his morning jogs.

Anxiety and dread pooled through his stomach, coursing through his veins.

She could be fighting for her life while I'm out here!

He silently cursed the fact that he lived a few miles from Juuban Hospital.

Miles that he was running at midnight.

It didn't matter to him.

He would do anything, anything, for her.

Did you consider, a small voice whispered, that she doesn't want to see you after what you did to her? After how you-

"Shut up!"

He snapped under his breath.

He knew it was his fault.

But he needed, he had, to see her with his own eyes.

To know that she was in good hands.

Maybe it was stupid and idiotic.

He didn't care.

After all, love was blind now wasn't it?

—-

The first thing Mamoru saw as he entered the waiting room was all four of Usagi's friends, and Motoki, sitting in adjacent chairs.

A small shred of hesitation rose up in his chest.

They probably don't know yet.

Most likely.

It still didn't erase the dirty, all-consuming, shameful feeling of betrayal from his psyche.

"Mamoru, you're here."

That was Motoki's voice, jolting him out of his thoughts.

Mamoru nodded, sitting in the seat across from him.

A small part of him didn't want to know what happened to her.

What he caused.

But he had to.

"What happened?"

Motoki inhaled deeply, almost steeling himself.

"I was closing up when I found her on the sidewalk. I called out to her, but she didn't respond. Then she started coughing,"

Motoki's eyes were pained.

Mamoru desperately attempted to pull the walls up around his heart as he always did.

He couldn't.

"She coughed up blood, then passed out."

And Mamoru's heart caved because it was his fault and-

A calming hand on his shoulder derailed his thought train.

"You couldn't have done anything different, Mamoru. It's not your fault."

Motoki's voice was comforting, calming.

If only you knew.

Mamoru forced himself to nod, and surveyed the scene around him.

All four of the Sailor Senshi were there, hastily dressed as if they had run here.

Which they most likely had.

He placed his head in his hands.

He felt dirty.

He was dirty.

This was all his fault.

If he'd just walked her home-

There's no use in having 'what if's', this is your fault. It's your fault she's in here, maybe-

Mamoru's stomach lurched, but nothing came up.

"Excuse me, are you the friends or family of Usagi Tsukino?"

At their shaky nods, he continued.

"I'm her doctor, and I wanted to inform you that we've officially diagnosed her."

The silence in the room was uncomfortable.

"She has a pretty heavy case of pneumonia. If she's been doing any heavy exertion activity, it most likely worsened it and caused the collapse. We've given her some medication to administer daily, but she should be perfectly fine in a few days."

He turned to leave, before looking back to them.

"By the way, visiting hours start at 9:00 am and end at 8:00 pm. Feel free to drop by anytime later today."

He then vacated the room, leaving a relieved yet strained atmosphere.

—-

A/N: So, this chapter was shorter than I intended. This was honestly a bit of a transitional chapter. If you all are wondering, yes, Chibi-Usa does in fact exist in this story. And yes, she will play a formative role in the plot. Just not in the exact way you all are intending. As always, thank you all so much for your love and support on this story! If you'd like, review, favorite, and/or follow! As always, stay happy, healthy, and be kind!

-Lizzie