As It Stands

Lizzie223

Chapter 4 - Rei, Ami, Makoto, Usagi

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Sailor Moon or any affiliated branding, merchandise, or movies.

—Rei—

Admittedly, Rei had always felt a strange mix of respect and jealousy for Usagi.

Respect, because she understood the struggle of balancing Senshi life and school life.

Well, Rei snorted slightly without the usual anger, Usagi's attempt at school life.

Jealousy, because Usagi got everyth-

She shook her head, eyes focusing on the pale form on the bed.

It had been 3 days.

The doctor had said that she was mostly out of the woods and would be waking soon.

It didn't erase the dread coursing through her veins, but it was an admirable attempt.

Rei bit her lip.

Her and the other girls had made shifts, so to speak.

Because even though there was no threat, Rei knew something was wrong.

But she didn't know what.

Frustration boiled underneath her skin, the burn somewhat comforting.

It was familiar.

Everything else?

Wasn't. Definitely wasn't.

She bit her lip again, ignoring the blood flooding her mouth.

She was supposed to know exactly what to do.

She was the Senshi of fire damn it!

She was helpless.

Like always.

And that was why her father had abandoned her and-

She shook her head, anger flashing through her lavender-tinted eyes.

She wouldn't think of him.

He didn't deserve it.

Rei shut her eyes, stretching out her arms.

How long had she been here?

It felt like days.

Regardless of Rei's pride, a small part of her would always admit that it wasn't restlessness making her feel this way.

It was unease.

Pure unadulterated unease.

Because seeing Usagi, a walking, well-meaning but dumb blonde in this state?

It was hard.

And that wasn't the worst of it.

Rei hadn't told the rest of the girls, but she was able to brush her senses against others; to understand their emotions.

At least on the surface level.

Rei bit her tongue.

Usagi's emotions had always been strong.

But generally, even when she failed a test, her upset was never able to dampen her light.

The light that drew people to her.

That drew Rei to her.

But that light?

Rei ignored the way her eyes stung.

It was like someone had stomped it out.

—-Ami—-

Ami had prided herself on her intellectual abilities.

It was all she had.

So she studied, and strained, and yearned to gain the most knowledge because if she didn't-

She wasn't sure what would happen if she didn't.

Her fingers erratically tapped across the computer keys, as they had for the past two hours.

Her fingertips ached, but she pressed on.

Like always.

She would concern herself with it later.

But right now?

She had a job to do.

Something had happened to Usagi, that was for certain.

But what?

Ami was one of Usagi's protectors, and like the other Senshi; when she stepped into her hospital room, one emotion flooded her body.

Failure.

But she couldn't let herself dwell on it.

Not now.

In the future, sure.

But not now.

She couldn't, because if she did then she would fall deep-

Her fingers clicked faster. She didn't notice.

She had a system.

Find the threat to Usagi. Find the weakness. Eliminate it.

That was it.

So why was it so hard?

Her brow creased as she tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

Something wasn't right about this situation.

From what she could gather from Motoki and the others, Usagi hadn't gone home after school-

Where could she have gone?

Mamoru had confirmed that they had talked, before parting ways, but that was early afternoon.

Motoki found her at eleven at night.

Had she been harmed?

Who harmed her?

A multitude of emotions coursed through her veins.

Something was missing.

Ami could read body language.

It was how she learned to mask her own.

Because sometimes, masking her body language hid her anxiety, anger.

Emotions that she couldn't let out in public.

It would disappoint her.

Her mom.

The same mom that was never home. That forget her birthday ninety-five percent of the time.

The same mom that, wrecked by a divorce, turned to alcohol.

But only at night.

Professionalism was more important than Ami it seemed.

She derisively snorted, pretending she didn't care.

Point was, Ami knew guilt and anxiety-like the back of her hand.

It was how she knew, just knew that Mamoru knew more than he let on.

But what did he know?

What was he hiding?

She didn't know.

Not yet.

No matter, Ami imperceptibly straightened, eyes riveting to the screen in front of her.

She would find out.

And if Mamoru had hurt her princess?

Ice cold rage flooded her veins, her azure eyes sparking.

He would pay.

—Makoto—

Makoto protected people.

It was her thing, so to speak.

Maybe it was because she couldn't protect herself back then.

Back back to when she was small and defenseless, and-

She shook her head, focusing on something, anything else.

The Dark Moon Clan had been oddly quiet lately.

Ever since Usagi had gotten hurt-

Makoto placed the coffee cup on her nightstand harsher than she intended.

She didn't know what to do.

Regret was still tucked deep into her chest.

She'd prefer to pretend it hadn't been there for years.

Makoto absentmindedly ran a brush through her wavy locks, ignoring the tugging at her scalp.

It didn't matter.

She vaguely recalled the doctor's musings on Usagi waking up.

If they were correct in their assumptions, it should be soon.

She hated the word 'if'.

It was uncertain and scary, and unstable.

She hated that.

Although Senshi life was by no means safe, it was consistent, fight a few enemies, occasionally get injured, that was that.

And if Makoto died protecting someone else, she was okay with that.

A small part of her belatedly wondered just when she decided she wasn't worth it.

Her fingernails dug into her palms, small bloodied crescents left on her skin.

Part of her didn't understand how it could only be early afternoon.

It felt like this day would last forever.

She stood, ignoring the minor lurch her stomach gave.

She didn't feel like eating right now.

Not when Usagi, who had been fine just yesterday was-

She firmly shook her head.

Was going to be just fine.

And according to the doctor, would be waking up soon.

A small smile made its way to Makoto's lips as she picked up some ingredients.

Usagi loved her cookies, so it would be prudent to make some for her to have after waking up.

If she wakes up.

Makoto frowned, but persisted, almost robotically mixing the batter together.

Usagi would wake up

She would.

That was that.

Although she thought the sentiment was certain, it didn't erase the anxiety curled in her gut.

She stubbornly ignored it.

She was used to it anyways.

—-Ami—-

Ami didn't know how long she'd been here for.

It wasn't that she didn't like being near Usagi.

But the way Usagi looked, with her skin pale and the warm, bright, pallor that usually graced her face was-

Gone.

It was gone.

Who did this to her?

It was rhetorical, and she knew that.

Belatedly, she wished she'd brought some of her school books.

It didn't matter.

She wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyways.

The door creaked open, startling her out of her thoughts.

Mamoru walked in and practically collapsed into the chair opposite of hers.

She studied him while he held Usagi's hand.

Of course it was normal for him to look distressed.

Scared. Shocked.

That was normal. Logical.

But he looked, no, his whole demeanor, body, being, radiated guilt.

That wasn't normal.

He knows. And it was somehow his fault.

Inwardly, she steeled the icy anger coiling in her stomach.

She cleared her throat. "Ahem."

He looked startled, as if he'd only just noticed she was there.

She got that look enough to interpret it.

He straightened, clearing his throat. She noticed the five o' clock shadow gracing his cheeks.

"Hi Ami-chan, how are you?"

Ami saw the way his lip curled downwards at her demeanor.

"I'm okay, you? This must be hard, considering you and Usagi are together."

His jaw imperceptibly tightenened as several emotions flitted in and out of his eyes.

"Yeah, but the doctor said she's probably going to wake up today so-"

Deflecting. He was trying to deflect.

"I'm sure you're glad about that. To be honest, I've been mostly caught up in figuring out what happened to her."

His throat flexed as his fists tightened.

"Her parents said she never came home after school. After meeting you, I wonder where she went? Did she say anything?"

Normally, Ami wouldn't act this way.

This situation was anything but normal.

"No. She didn't." Mamoru's shoulders went tense, taut with energy.

Ami leaned forward, keeping her posture straight as she folded her fingers neatly together.

"That's weird, she normally tells you everything doesn't she?"

Mamoru's eyes narrowed.

She was almost there.

She didn't want to pry but she had to.

For Usagi.

He jerkily nodded, one of his hands fisted on the hospital issued blanket.

"Did you guys have a fight?"

She could almost hear the sound of his teeth gritting as he straightened up.

"No, of course not."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Then why is it that she was unable to comprehend what Motoki was saying to her? Then why is it that even though it was late at night, and an attack isn't entirely unplausible, that she didn't have any bruises on her arms or legs? Why is it that she didn't tell you where she was going? Why-"

He cut her off, his chair screeching back as he abruptly stood, eyes alight.

"Because we broke up damn it!"

Ami stood, and crossed the distance between them, shifting herself to be in front of Usagi.

She couldn't risk it.

"Why, exactly, did you break up with her? I doubt this was Usagi's choice."

Ami had an unsurprisingly difficult time keeping the utter loathing out of her voice.

She knew it.

He'd hurt her princess. And he would pay for it.

His arms were crossed now, his body seemingly thrumming with upset.

"Because I don't love her anymore."

Ami's eyes flashed, her fury bubbling to the surface.

And unlike the other times, she let it consume her.

"Get out. You don't deserve to be in her presence."

He hesitated.

"I may not love her anymore but-"

She held up a hand, a frown twisting her lips.

"You broke up with her and left her alone. The least you could have done was walk her home. Point being, the second you broke up with her was the second you forfeited any claim to knowledge concerning her."

Ami narrowed her eyes.

"I'm giving you five seconds before I call security. Get. Out."

He slightly hesitated, but turned, shutting the door with a little more force than necessary.

She could care less at the moment.

Ami shut her eyes, adrenaline still thrumming through her veins as she turned towards Usagi.

The pieces were falling into place.

So that's why she didn't go home afterwards. She probably needed time to process and lost track of everything.

Ami's fists clenched as she bit her lip.

And because of her pneumonia, and the thunder storm, she worsened her condition.

Former prince my ass.

Ami took a deep breath, and focused on what was familiar.

Strategizing.

She'd found the threat, and now?

Now, she had a few phone calls to make.

—-Makoto—-

Makoto casually made her way to Usagi's hospital room.

Usagi's hospital room.

Even the thought sounded wrong.

Ami had called thirty minutes ago over the communicators, practically commanding the girls to meet in Usagi's room.

Makoto had never heard Ami sound so-

Angry, vengeful.

It was vaguely terrifying.

She inwardly steeled herself to the sight she knew would greet her, tightening her grip on the basket of cookies she brought.

Hopefully Usagi would wake up today.

If so, the cookies wouldn't go to waste.

She walked into the hospital room and sat next to Rei, nodding to Minako and Ami.

Now that she saw her in person, she was sure.

Ami was pissed.

And Makoto felt pity for the person on the receiving end.

Depending on the person anyways.

"I've called you all here for one purpose."

Ami's voice was calm, but no one was lost to the undercurrent of fury in it.

Makoto held her breath, scared for Ami's next words.

"I found out what happened to Usagi."

The room promptly fell into chaos.

Rei paled.

"What do you mean? You know who the bastard is? Out with it!"

Minako was unusually silent, but her clenched fists were enough to tell Makoto what she was thinking.

Ami inhaled, then-

"She wasn't attacked, luckily."

A small amount of color made it's way back to Minako's face.

That was good.

Makoto was subconsciously concerned about the idea of her fainting.

Rei's shoulders fell slightly with relief.

Slightly.

"Well, then what happened?"

Minako's voice wasn't as confident and strong as it normally was.

It threw Makoto off.

Ami bit her lip.

"Mamoru broke up with her."

Makoto had to physically hold Rei back from storming off to find Mamoru.

"That bastard! We trust our princess with him and he breaks her heart?! How dare he!"

Minako nodded along, pacing around the small room.

Something in Makoto's chest coiled, pure fury coursing through her veins.

She could name it.

It was familiar, easier to fall into.

Lately, she'd been attempting to curb her rage.

But this time?

She couldn't care less.

—-Usagi—-

There were voices.

Several interceding voices.

They were arguing, she belatedly realized.

Probably about her.

After all, she was only a burden.

A useless burden.

The darkness surrounding her didn't scare her anymore.

She wasn't sure if she should be happy or terrified of that fact.

There was something fascinating about darkness.

Some could say it was isolating, and she was inclined to agree.

But she liked the isolation.

In here, she couldn't hurt anyone.

She was alone.

And she was fine.

This was how she was meant to be.

Without her, Usagi's friends and family were probably relieved.

She hoped they were happy.

Usagi was tired of feigning the fact that she didn't see the disappointment lurking in her parents eyes when they looked at her.

A small part of her wanted to scream that she was Sailor Moon, and that she was somebody important.

But was she really?

In her opinion, she was almost glad to be stuck in this darkness, it gave her Senshi the excuse they needed to be free.

Ami could wholeheartedly pursue being a doctor.

Rei could pursue her studies in becoming a Shinto priestess and her blossoming singing career.

Makoto could finally go to that culinary school Usagi knew she'd been eyeing.

And Minako? Minako could finally feel free to pursue stardom.

They were all destined for so much more than to be chained to her.

They deserved to feel free.

A small part of Usagi just hoped that they would think about her, not much!

Just maybe once a week or something.

She smiled, er well, thought she was smiling.

She couldn't tell.

Not in this darkness.

She was okay with that.

A light.

A blinding, overwhelming light coursed through her veins and eliminated the darkness surrounding her.

Wake up.

Usagi let the tears course down her cheeks.

I don't want to!

Usagi was tired, so so tired.

You must.

Not even thirty seconds later did Usagi's eyes fly open.

—-

A/N: First of all, thank you all so much for your support! I can't express how much I appreciate it. Second of all, this chapter was spontaneous but I don't mind how it turned out. If you're wondering why I'm including the other Senshi's perspective so often, it's because I want to in some way go into their feelings and emotions concerning everything. I know in canon, Ami's mom is not an alcoholic, so I am taking some creative liberty there.

To anyone wondering, I'm debating adding Chibi-Usa to this storyline or not. On one hand, it creates a whole different level of angst for Usagi and Mamoru because although she's from the future, she exists in the present, so it feels like murder. On the other hand, I absolutely loathe the idea of her and Mamoru together purely because Chibi Usa exists in the present. Currently, the cast has no idea Usagi and Mamoru are Chibi-Usa's future parents, but it would become pretty apparent the second Chibi-Usa starts fading out. Point being, I'm conflicted.

Honestly, I'm leaning towards leaving Chibi-Usa out of this story, but I don't know. If you have a particular stance on it, please tell me in either a review or PM! I would appreciate more input.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this! Stay healthy, happy, and safe!

-Lizzie