As It Stands

Lizzie223

Chapter 5 - Usagi, Minako, Ami, Makoto

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Sailor Moon or any affiliated brands, movies, or merchandise.

—-Usagi—

It was bright.

Inconsolably, insufferably, irrevocably bright and Usagi couldn't understand how she used to enjoy this much light.

It was torture.

She groaned, her throat dry and lips cracked.

Her stomach moaned in protest as she attempted to sit up.

A pair of hands helped steady her as she leaned against the stiff pillows, her eyes seeking out their owner.

Minako's eyes were clouded and red.

My fault.

Guilt thrummed through Usagi's chest.

If she hadn't been such an idiot and fallen asleep outside, things would be different.

She should have been more mature, but she couldn't, not after-

Her vision swam with tears.

She refused to think about it.

Not now.

She hesitantly brought her eyes to Minako's, an apology on her lips.

It didn't leave them.

Instead, Minako's arms curled around her, crying into the uncomfortable hospital gown.

For a moment, Usagi was frozen, before she brought her arms around Minako in a hug; trying not to disturb the IV in her hand.

"I'm sorry, oh gosh, I'm sorry Usa, I should have been there-"

Usagi's heart twisted.

"No, Mina, it's not your fault at all! B-believe me, you-"

A choked sob escaped her throat as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"You didn't do a-anything wrong."

Minako hesitantly met her gaze.

"But-"

Usagi smiled at her, and for once, it was genuine.

"Minako you did nothing wrong. You couldn't have done anything regardless, besides, I'm fine now!"

A small smile made its' way to Minako's lips.

Usagi smiled as well, forcing the self-deprecation back, back where she couldn't feel it.

"Now, where's the food court? I'm hungry."

Minako's laugh was brighter than it had been in weeks.

—-Minako—-

Minako held in a sigh as she impatiently tapped her pencil on the math textbook in front of her.

Admittedly, she was concerned.

It had been a few weeks since Usagi was released from the hospital, and physically, she was perfectly fine.

Even in the battles going on recently, Usagi had shown no signs of relapse, to the relief of the group.

But mentally?

Minako knew something was wrong.

After that day in the hospital, her and the others had never seen her cry.

For others, that may have been semi-normal.

But for Usagi? Someone that unabashedly, wholeheartedly, allowed herself to feel whatever she wished?

It was an extreme red flag.

Additionally, Usagi never spoke of her and Mamoru's breakup.

The one time they'd tried to bring it up ended in awkward excuses for having to leave the study session.

After that, nobody had brought it up again.

There was a chance Usagi was just over it already and didn't want to discuss past relationships, but that seemed impossible knowing Usagi.

No. Something was wrong.

Admittedly, Minako had attempted broaching the topic in private but it never worked.

"I'm sorry, Minako, but I don't feel very well. Could you please walk me home?"

At that point, her voice was clipped, cold.

It sounded like Usagi was speaking to a stranger.

Just the thought of it brought tears to her eyes.

The Usagi she knew, would want, no need to talk about it.

But this Usagi?

Minako didn't understand this Usagi.

One minute she would be smiling, laughing, just like she used to-

But then reality would push her shoulders down, her eyes would dull, and her face would crumple before-

Before she threw the mask on once again.

Minako wasn't an idiot, she knew a mask when she saw it.

After all, she wore one most of the time.

But just being with Usagi, interacting with her princess, seeing her smile, was enough to push it away.

Maybe that was selfish of her to have that much dependency.

She wasn't exactly sure anymore.

She shook her head, focusing back on the school board as the teachers' voice droned on.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Usagi, for once actually taking notes.

It wasn't even ten and she already knew it was going to be a long day.

—-Ami—-

"Damn it."

Ami didn't quite understand why the enemy always had to attack at night.

And at three in the morning too.

She scoffed, it wasn't like it was all too challenging to evade her mom.

Ami was pretty sure she was passed out on the couch, bottle still in her hand.

Haphazardly, she wrenched open her bedroom window and Sailor Mercury came out the other side.

There was a small part of her that always detested battles.

It wasn't the fighting, or the gore, or the all-encompassing fear shrouding the field.

No, it was her innate sense of helplessness that she couldn't escape.

She knew she was helpful, in a sense, at least.

But at the same time, what did she really do?

Sure, she typed on her computer and occasionally fought, occasionally.

But if she was taken out of the equation, would it really matter?

Does she really matter?

Was she just another piece on the chessboard, someone to be used, again and again until she's outlived her usefulness?

At this point, Ami wasn't sure.

And that? That was scarier than she thought it to be.

She shook her head, inwardly reprimanding herself.

Her feelings, what she wanted, thought, experienced, didn't matter at this point.

The mission was what mattered.

If she let emotion get in the way-

She didn't know what would happen, but it wouldn't end wonderfully by any means.

Maybe this ideology was flawed, because if she looked at Usagi-

Not the Usagi now, but the one from a few weeks ago.

It was quite tragic that Ami had to make the distinction.

Regardless, that Usagi was not afraid to include her emotions in her fighting.

Sometimes it was a good idea, other times-

A painfully wry grin threatened to twist her lips as she distantly recalled the ways Usagi would get herself into difficult situations.

But now?

Usagi showed emotions, sure.

But they were fake, rehearsed, not genuine in any way.

Cold fury straightened her spine as she remembered the way Mamoru dismissed Usagi, their princess like she was nothing.

How dare he.

He didn't deserve their princess.

Ami's eyes flashed as the faint sounds of battle brushed the edges of her hearing.

In some inexplicable way, the normal dread in her veins was replaced with a less familiar, but more welcomed emotion, especially as of late.

Fury.

—-

Ami's fingers tapped across the keys on her mini-computer, the sounds of battle crashing against her heightened senses.

"Mercury! Do you have any idea what its' weakness is?"

Minako's voice was tense as she evaded blasts from this week's droid.

"I'm working on it!"

Rei stood in front of her, occasionally calling out an activation phrase to protect them both.

"Well, could you try to work a little faster? We're having trouble over here!"

Makoto or Sailor Jupiter stood a ways in front of them, body language guarded and apprehensive.

"Jupiter Oak Evolution!"

Heavily charged vines attempted to ensnare the droid, curling around every crevice.

Ami instinctively winced at Jupiters' cry when it failed, its' resounding blast of power throwing her into a nearby tree.

"Jupiter! How dare you!"

Usagi's voice was outraged, as it normally would be, but it also held an undercurrent of something else.

Something that never had been in her tone, her voice, her thoughts.

Vengeance.

She typed faster, her calculations honing in on the quarter-sized spot on the side of the droid's neck.

"There! Venus, Moon, Mars, hit that side of its' neck!"

Rei stepped forwards, flames flickering between her gloved fingers.

"I'll distract it, Venus, Moon, Mercury, once it's looking at me, attack it with everything you've got!"

She drew her arm back, flames igniting the air around her.

"Mars Flame Sniper!"

The arrow hit true, crashing into the droid and forcing it to its' knees.

"Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"

"Moon Tiara Action!"

"Crescent Beam Barrage!"

In unison, the three attacks hit their intended mark.

Ami let out a brief sigh of relief.

Maybe she'd finally get some sleep before school tomorrow.

That would be favorable.

"Um, guys? I don't think that's natural."

Minako's panicked voice drew Ami out of her thoughts.

The droid that they thought was dead, was glowing?

Ami took out her computer, paling at the immediate readings.

"Get away and grab Jupiter! This thing is about to-"

The park around them flooded with light as they all were blown backward.

Her ears rung as her eyes desperately attempted to make out where the others were.

She clumsily sat up, momentarily wincing at the pain assaulting her back.

She clicked the visor on her headset, squinting through the sudden, eerie fog.

Biting her lip, she gently ran her hand over the back of her head, cringing when her fingers pulled away tinged with red.

She would worry about that later.

But first?

First, she needed to figure out where the others were and assess their conditions.

Especially Jupiter.

Ami just hoped someone had gotten to her in time.

—-Usagi—-

The last thing Usagi registered before the blast was the sight of a cape, and the brief scent of roses?

She was just being delusional.

There was no way he was-

Her eyes, she didn't realize they were shut, blearily opened only to immediately rivet to the face near hers.

"Sailor Moon, are you alright?"

It was him.

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry so she chose anger instead.

That was easier.

Anger gave the emotions bubbling through her veins purpose.

And currently, that purpose was, is, to get away from Mamoru.

Jerkily, she nodded and moved to stand, determined to hold herself up.

She decidedly ignored the stab of hurt when he didn't offer his hand.

"I'm fine. Thank you, Tuxedo Kamen-san."

Usagi didn't recognize her own voice.

She didn't recognize much about herself these days.

But regardless, it was bloody painful to speak to him this way.

Like he didn't matter to her.

But it's fair, isn't it? Her inner voice crooned. He doesn't give a damn about you, so returning the favor is natural.

She shook her head, dispelling her thought train as she turned away from him.

"I…"

She slightly inclined her head to him, hating herself for it.

The air was charged, thick.

It was hard to believe that only a month ago they were lovers.

Usagi fought the urge to derisively scoff at him.

He deserves it.

She ignored her heart for once.

"Usagi," He tried, and she wanted to cry because it wasn't warm like it used to be.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

This time she really did snort, especially after seeing the crinkled lines in his face as he frowned.

"Oh, yes Mamoru-san, I'm quite l-lovely today. How are you?"

She inwardly cursed herself for the small slip-up while crossing her arms.

His azure eyes narrowed as he agitatedly pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You know that's not what I meant, Usagi."

A small part of her screamed that he had no right to be using her name like they were old friends like whatever relationship they had wasn't shattered into pieces.

His fault. It's all his fault.

But even as she thought that, she also knew that she wasn't innocent either.

I should have been better. Prettier. I wonder if he realizes just how much I would have done for him.

She couldn't stop the tears blurring her vision.

Would still do for him.

"Well, Mamoru-san. How do you figure I'm doing? I don't know where the other Senshi ended up, and because of this damn fog, I can't see crap!"

She ignored the small twinge of satisfaction at his momentarily dumbstruck expression.

"Speaking of, I really need to go find them, so I guess this is goodbye for now, Mamoru-san."

Tears slipped down her cheeks now that she was turned away from him.

She wasn't sure what hurt worse.

The fact that he let her walk away, or the fact that their soul bond was so shattered that she couldn't feel him behind her anymore.

—-Makoto—-

The first thought Makoto had as she woke up was that her arm hurt.

The second was that she hoped the girls fared better than she did.

Using her uninjured arm, she held it over her forehead and tried to make out any shape in this fog.

She desperately ignored the slight panic shrouding her senses.

Usagi and everyone else was okay.

They had to be.

Makoto harshly bit her lip.

If they weren't-

No.

They were okay.

She wouldn't entertain the idea that they weren't because-

Her fists tightened.

Because it would mean that she failed.

Again, like she always did.

Like she failed her.

Makoto didn't bother to mention her name, it was already deeply engrained into her senses, her bones, her soul.

She couldn't afford to fail again.

Never again.

How long ago had she sworn that?

Years. Maybe a decade.

And yet, she would reiterate it for the rest of her life because she was already broken enough.

The glue holding her together was the girls, her sisters.

Makoto struggled to imagine what would occur if they weren't in her life anymore-

Because it would never happen.

She shook her head resolutely, honing her senses to the once open park around her.

She didn't need to be Ami to know that this fog was unnatural.

Her amber eyes narrowed, almost glowing as a particularly harsh gust of wind jostled her injured arm.

She gritted her teeth.

At this rate, she was a sitting duck.

This arm could be the-

It would not.

She intentionally evened out her breathing, ignoring the starbursts of pain shooting through her shoulder.

She had to find the others.

She needed to make sure they were okay.

After that, she didn't know what she'd do.

But she did know that they were stronger together.

Her fingers flickered with energy and apprehension as a shadowed figure began to approach from her right.

"Who on earth are you? What do you want with this earth? Where are the-"

Her voice was cut off as a thick arm curled around her throat.

Of course. How could I be such an idiot?

"Wh-what a-are-"

Black spots playfully twirled in the corners of her blurred vision.

This was it.

She never thought it would end like this.

No!

She didn't know whose voice it was, but it didn't matter.

She couldn't allow herself to be a victim.

Not again!

Unbridled energy bubbled through her veins, and for once, she didn't need an activation phrase.

Sparkling Wide Pressure!

Her assailant was thrown away from her as she fell to her knees.

Holding her throat, she wheezed, almost choking on the fog.

The fog was thick.

Too thick.

Damn it!

Blearily, she tried to press her communicator, desperately attempting to click the button.

She was almost there, she was so close.

Unconsciously, she held her breath.

Almost there-

A pristine white boot smacked into her hand, the audible crack of her bones making her cringe.

It was too much.

Intense flashes of pain tore up and down her limbs.

Who are these people?

The last thing she registered before passing out was the feeling of cold lips at her ear.

"You'll make a fine hostage, for now."

More pain, erratic flashes, then-

Nothing.

—-

A/N: Well, this is chapter five! I'm not certain how I feel about this one yet but I don't know. First of all, thank you all so much for your support! You all are so kind and I'm so thankful for all of you! Now, this turn of events may seem kind of similar to season 2 of Sailor Moon but things will start to look a lot different soon enough! In terms of Usagi and Mamoru, they are in fact the end couple, but it will take time and relationship building for them to get back together.

Honestly, I don't hate Mamoru. I actually rather like his character! But personally, I like to delve into his character traits and understand why he behaves the way he does. I'm still honestly on the fence about including Chibi-Usa so if you have any other thoughts or opinions on that please let me know! Also, if you have any thoughts or ideas of things you'd like to happen in future chapters, please either review or PM me and let me know!

Thank you so much!

-Lizzie