Author's Note: An added piece that takes place during the events of Tainted Perfection; Manipulating Adia. Assef's perspective of the violent and impulsive cruelty that his beloved baby sister displayed against her best friend.
Once more, this does deal with some dark and mature themes, and is not for the faint of heart. I do not condone the actions, thoughts, feelings, or opinions that these characters display, and I also understand that my writing may not be for everyone. Therefore, I request that everyone takes it upon themselves to curate their online experiences in a way that is safe and comfortable for them.
I do not own the Kite Runner or any of its characters. I do, however, own my OCs and the events that take place regarding them.
Again, feedback and reviews are appreciated. If you enjoy this story, might I also suggest reading Tainted Perfection, the fic on which these events are based? It is a much more lengthy, detailed psychological thriller that delves deep into the mind of an OC - Saria, Assef's baby sister - and I would really appreciate more readers and feedback there, too.
With that said, please enjoy!
Pacing my room, I waited, rather impatiently, for my Saria to come home. She'd been out visiting Adia Kalahari for the day, and I was more than ready and eager to see her again. I missed her smile, hearing her voice. I wanted to hear all about her day - every little detail of what had gone on while she was with Adia.
My sister was looking to create a friendship with the younger girl, she'd told me that once. Adia was innocence personified, the type of person who would be easily manipulated. Someone who would do literally anything that my darling asked. On the first day they met, it was abundantly clear that Adia was desperate to begin a friendship with my Saria. She must not have had many friends to begin with - understandable, really, given what an annoying and overly-bubbly little bitch she was.
But my love saw something in her, something that she wanted to use to her own advantage. And, well, I figured there was no real harm in that. Saria needed her own lackey(s). She needed loyal friendships like I had with Wali and Kamal. I knew that my sister didn't have many friends in her classes. While the mullahs doted on her, thinking her the loveliest girl they'd ever had the pleasure to teach, the other girls either avoided or b her mercilessly.
Obviously I couldn't be there for her twenty-four-seven, unfortunately. So she needed friends who could defend her, who could defend her from bullies, and be a punching bag for her if it came down to it. If Saria believed that Adia fit the bill, then I would trust her judgement.
I heard Mahmood fumbling with his key. A few moments later, the front door opened, and he called out. "Tanya, I'm home with Saria." The last word of that sentence made my heart jolt. She was home. Eventually, I would see her again. I could hardly wait.
But oh, I knew that I would have to wait a few more minutes for that to happen. After all, Saria would have to greet Tanya and answer a few questions about her day before she could be granted permission to go upstairs. I could imagine her now, standing before our mother with her hands folded demurely in front of her, head bowed. She'd have to wait until Tanya spoke first before she could say anything. Yet another rule that our parents had imposed on us, to make us into the obedient pets they wanted.
Several agonising minutes passed, and then, I heard the familiar sound of Saria walking up the stairs. Soon, she would reach my bedroom door. I knew that she'd come to see me, we'd been apart for the better part of a day and she no doubt missed me just as much as I did her. There was a gentle knocking on my door, and then I heard it, the best voice ever created. "Brother, are you in there? May I come in?"
"I'm here, sister," I replied, wondering if my excitement shone through in my voice. "Come on in."
The door opened, and there she was. The most beautiful, perfect human being that ever lived. The beaming grin upon her lips was enough to make the sun itself hang its head in disgrace. I held my arms open, beckoning her to run into them.
She did so immediately, laughing as she rushed forward, exclaiming in joy. "Assef!"
I swept her up, twirling her around and pressing a kiss to her forehead. My angel was back with me - my most precious Saria was in my arms once more. I can't begin to describe how happy that made me. I pressed her to me, breathing in her perfect scent. "Hello, Liebchen," I whispered, pulling away and looking down at those ethereal blue eyes. "I've missed you so much."
Saria nodded. "I've missed you too, brother. I'm glad to be home again."
There was something in her voice, hidden behind the pealing laughter and the excitement at seeing me again. Her tone wasn't quite as joyful as I'd expected it to be. Even as she ran into my arms, I could tell it was down somewhat halfheartedly. That while she did feel that unbridled joy of our reunion, there was yet another, more dismal thought, lurking in the back of her mind. Could it be that something was bothering her, eating away at my darling? Or was this merely my overprotective big brother instincts, looking for trouble when there was none?
How I hoped the latter would be the case. Still, I figured I ought to ask regardless, even if just to give myself peace of mind. Taking my sister's hands within my own, I spoke in a gentle tone. "How was your visit to Adia, Saria? What did you two do today? Tell me, I want to know all about it."
Saria hesitated. She furrowed her brow, her little pink tongue darting out and wetting her lips. This was the trademark Saria Ahmed gesture that she so often made when she had something to say but didn't know where to begin. For the longest moment, I wondered if she'd ever open her mouth and speak the details of what it was that irked her. How I yearned for her to open her heart to me. To understand what had happened, as I knew now that something definitely had.
She led me over to the bed, guiding me by the hand. I followed and sat down beside her. She looked down at our intertwined fingers, then back up to me again. "Well…" she murmured, licking her lips again, "the day started off well enough. We made a puzzle together and Faraya cooked lunch. Masood was there too, at the dining room table. He's still sick, if you can believe that. Asshole is still coughing up a storm and they let him eat with us." She rolled her eyes, then focused back on me again.
"But…" she squeezed my hands. "Something did happen, Assef. I did something while I was there. And… and… you can't breathe a word of it to Mahmood or Tanya. I know I don't need to tell you, brother, but I do need your word on that. Please."
Well, did she even need to ask me that question? There was no way I was going to breathe a word of anything she told me. What my precious shared would not leave this room. It would be, as so many things were, our little secret. I wouldn't dare to throw her under the bus. Yet now I found myself even more curious to know what was wrong. If she was that adamant that I not tell our parents, then what happened at the Kalahari house must surely have been dire. What could she have done? And, more importantly, who may have caused her to do it? Would I need to step in to defend her again?
"I won't say anything, Liebchen, I promise. But you are beginning to worry me here. I must know what happened. What did you do? You and I both know that I'm not going to pass even the slightest judgement on you, my darling sister. So please, tell me what went on. Please. I need to hear it." I lifted her hands, gently pressing my lips to her fingertips and looking her directly in the eye.
Finally, she began to share her words with me, and I learned every tiny detail of what went on. "So… after lunch, Adia and I went out to the back garden to play on the swings."
The back-garden. Next to that table where the—. I was filled with the awful mental image of Saria tripping and knocking that vase to the ground. Of the horrific punishment that she'd been forced to endure. Had another, similar accident, occurred? And if so, how could I protect her, how could I stop Mahmood and Tanya from finding out? My thoughts were threatening to run away from me, so I shoved them to the back of my mind and gestured for Saria to continue her speech.
She gently pulled her hands from mine and played absently with her fingers. "Adia and I were talking and she… well, she asked me about Farsef. About what you'd done to him."
I'll admit, I was a little taken aback by this revelation. Sure, word of my actions that day had gotten through the streets. The children of Wazir-Akbhar-Khan were aware of what I had done, and my reasons for doing so. It was why they'd coined the nickname 'Assef the Ear Eater', though of course, none of them were ever brave enough to comment on that to my face - because they were well aware of what I would do to them if they did. Still, I hadn't expected little Adia to talk about it. She seemed meek and timid, the kind of girl who couldn't say boo to a goose, let alone want to talk about vicious acts of cruelty such as that.
"And what did you tell her?" I asked, now keenly interested in where this was going. "Did you tell her what I'd done for you?" It mattered not if she had - everyone knew already and quite frankly, we didn't need to worry about Adia breathing a word to her parents or any other authority figures.
Saria nodded once. "I told her the whole story. How Farsef tried to steal my kite. How he put his hands on me, how he pushed me off the wall. How you came and defended me and stood up for me. All of it. I… I wanted to see how she would react. I guess… I guess it was a test for her in a way. You know? To see if she'd understand."
Well, that made sense. Violence and cruelty were a cornerstone of our lives, and so often my sister and I were the perpetrators of such acts upon the neighbouring children. It stood to reason then that she would want to know if Adia's fragile mind could handle such a thing. Yet judging from the look in Saria's eyes, it seemed the girl could not. I was about to question her further but she continued speaking before I got the chance, giving me more information on this tale that I was so desperate to learn more of.
She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, tilting her head back and letting a gentle exhale out of her lips. "She didn't get it," she whispered, "she didn't understand, not one bit. She just kept going on and on about how Farsef didn't deserve what happened to him, how he's going to suffer from hearing loss now -" At this, I grinned despite myself - that little bastard deserved all the pain I gave him. Saria continued. "So I told her that you did it to protect me but then she…. She…"
I leaned forward, closer to her, wanting to hear more. She'd stopped talking, and was now staring blankly ahead, her tiny fists balled up in her lap, rocking back and forth. Whatever Adia had done, it must have been pretty damn bad to make my precious one react in this manner. I moved closer to her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "It's okay," I whispered, "whatever happened, you can tell me. I want to help, remember? You're upset, Liebchen, I can see it in your eyes. But please… let it out. It'll only make you feel better to share your troubles."
Saria turned to me. Her eyes were blazing, wild with untamed fury. "She said that you were evil for what you did!" she exclaimed, in German. "She got all up on her fucking high horse and was telling me that what you did was cruel and that you were a monster for what you did and- and-" Her voice was rising, high and thin. She punched my bed in frustration, her lip curling. "And I couldn't take it, I couldn't take her disrespecting you like that, Assef, I just couldn't. So I-"
At this point, I knew what she was about to say before the words even came from her mouth. My beloved and I had never been able to handle someone insulting the other - we always turned violently angry whenever that happened. So for Adia to have said what she did about me, I knew Saria wouldn't have handled that well. I knew she would have reacted with unbridled fury.
Her next words confirmed it. "I fucking lost it, Assef. I grabbed her by the arm and completely flipped out on her. I screamed at her and I told her that if she ever insulted you like that again, I'd make what happened to Farsef look like a walk in the damn park." Tears of frustration welled in her eyes, and she breathed heavily, trying to keep her emotions in check. "I wanted to beat the living shit out of her. She's DAMN lucky that I didn't. But I did leave bruising on her arm. I just... I… I couldn't handle it. I heard her insulting you and it was like my mind just snapped. Fuck, even thinking of it right now makes me feel so goddamn angry."
I must admit, the first thing I felt when Saria told me this was nothing more than genuine pride. Pride and happiness and overwhelming gratitude. She stood up for me. She put her friendship with Adia, a friendship that she was working so hard to cultivate, on the line for me. She defended my honor when I wasn't there to defend myself, just as I would have done for her. I looked at her in awe and wonderment, as though seeing her for the first time. I wanted to thank her a million times over for her actions - but before I could get the word out, another thought, intrusive and unwanted, sprung to the forefront of my mind.
She could have gotten caught.
That thought alone frightened the crap out of me. One of the Kalahari's could have been looking out the window or come out into the back garden and seen everything. I tried to convince myself that this hadn't happened, but I was unable to. Even if nobody saw it at the time, Adia could have gone to her parents and cried wolf the moment my Saria left. Mahmood and Tanya could be getting a phone call from an irate Javid or Faraya at any moment. And if the belting my sister got for accidentally breaking a vase was bad, I didn't want to imagine what might happen to her if they learned that she'd hurt Adia.
I grabbed her hands again, whirling her around to face me. With a stern tone of almost-frantic concern in my voice, I asked her, "Saria, I… I need to know. Before we continue this any further, I need you to tell me, did anyone see you? Is there any chance, any at all, that you might've gotten caught? Because if there is, then you need to tell me right now so that I can do damage control."
Saria shook her head. "No. No, I…. I thought that, too, at first. God, my stomach just… dropped when I realized how close I came to being seen. But… there was nobody there. I checked. And Adia… well, I managed to calm her down and told her to not breathe a word. I told her to lie to her parents and tell them that she'd fallen off the swings and hurt herself that way."
She was a genius, wasn't she? Coming up with a false story, manipulating Adia into lying to her parents. Turning this potentially tragic situation around. Yet I couldn't help the feelings of… guilt that bubbled within the pit of my stomach. She could have gotten into serious trouble, for me. She could have been caught and she could have faced a whipping so severe I doubt she would have recovered for weeks, all for me. All to defend me. All to protect me.
I just sat there, numb, letting this all sink in. Pride and guilt mixed into one, tossing back and forth in the very pit of my soul. The thought of what might have happened eating me up inside. Saria took notice of this, her eyes growing wide as she squeezed my hands. Her voice was a tiny whisper as she spoke next.
"You… you're not mad at me, are you?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes, "for what I did? You… I know I was stupid and reckless and I could have ruined everything and I shouldn't have done it but I… I just…" She trailed off, a few tears dripping down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Assef, I know it was a stupid thing to do. Fuck, when I think of all the ways it could have gone wrong. I'm such an idiot."
And now the guilt I felt threatened to destroy me. She thought I was upset with her? She thought of herself as stupid? Had I been too harsh in my attempts to learn more? Had my panic at what might have been manifested itself too harshly? Damn it, Assef, she's crying, I thought, you sick son of a bitch, you made your Saria cry. Some brother you are.
"My Liebchen," I whispered, pulling her into my lap and holding her close. I rocked her gently, running my fingers through her hair. "Oh, my darling, no. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you, not for defending me. You're not stupid, far from it. You stood up for me, how could I feel anything but pride and gratitude for that, Saria?" I leaned my head against hers, trying to soothe her. "I didn't mean to imply I was upset with you for that, not at all. I'm sorry for that. I just… I was worried you might have been caught. I don't know what I'd do if you got into trouble for me."
Saria leaned her head against my chest, looking up at me with tear-stained lashes. My other half was still suffering the effects of an adrenaline-filled, traumatic day. Her frustrations were bubbling up and now, she was getting those feelings out. I cradled her in my arms, trying to soothe her. "I'm so proud of you, Saria. You handled that the best way you could, truly. Hurting Adia might have been on impulse, yes, but you dealt with it and stopped the situation from getting any worse. You should be proud, Liebchen, I know I certainly am."
I wiped a tear from off of her cheek, as she looked up at me and smiled. Beautiful. I pressed a kiss to the side of her head ."I love you, Saria. Thank you for sticking up for me."
"I love you too," Saria whispered, and my heart skipped a beat. "I'll always stand up for you, Assef. Always. Us against the universe, right?"
"Us against the universe," I repeated, holding her close in my arms.
How it had been from day one. How it would always be. I loved my sister with a fervent singularity. She was my everything, my heart and soul, the one equal that I had in this world, and now, knowing the lengths she would go to to defend me, I knew that love could only grow.
We would do anything for each other, and we both knew it.
This is the last piece from Assef's POV that I have completed. I am working on a scene detailing his perspective of the fight that took place in Tainted Perfection: When Tension's Boil but that has been rather slow going. Still, I am hoping to have it completed as soon as is possible for me.
Again, thank you all immensely for reading. I hope that you enjoyed this, and as always, please feel free to leave a comment if you did.
Thank you again! All the best!
