Nothing had been right since that night when Astrid got that letter in the mail. Hiccup had returned almost 24 hours later, he even blew off school that next day. Now it was two weeks later and close to homecoming. Hiccup was alright, a little depressed but nothing he couldn't handle. Astrid on the other hand wasn't okay. Finding out her mother had cancer and hid it from her threw her in to a major depression. Astrid had refused to talk to her father for keeping it from her this entire time. Astrid was avoiding everyone now and barely eating, to a point she was physically ill.

The day Hiccup came home from school and found Astrid throwing up her insides in her room, he'd had enough. He tossed down his backpack and walked to her door. "Astrid." He said to her.

"Leave me alone..." Astrid moaned out.

"Not this time. Open the door..." Hiccup said firmly.

"No...and you can't make me!" Astrid yelled at him. Hiccup pulled his keys from his pocket and found the one marked with an 'A' on it. Hiccup unlocked her door and walked in, the smell of vomit hitting him in the nose.

"Actually, I can." Hiccup stated lifting the keys and jingling them a bit.

"Get out, Hiccup...I don't want to be bothered..." Astrid fumed angrily.

"No chance, Astrid. I'm not leaving until you talk to me about all this." Hiccup stated.

"I don't want to talk!" Astrid yelled. "I'm fine!" She added before throwing up again.

"Oh yeah, I'm real convinced babe. Look at you right now..." Hiccup pointed at her. Astrid didn't say anything this time, she only looked away from him. "Astrid, I'm your boyfriend. Talk to me. I know you're not fine! Your friends know you're not fine!" Hiccup told her now. He hadn't noticed their friends in the room now, or his father and Astrid's father.

"Should we say something?" Calder asked quietly leaning towards Stoick.

"Nope, I think we should just let them have it out..." Stoick replied, they nodded and watched from the kitchen.

"You can't just barge in here!" Astrid finally yelled back.

"Oh yes I can. My house..." Hiccup retorted.

"Thought you said it was OUR house! Or was that a lie like you being Fury behind my back!" Astrid snapped at him.

"Oh great, now we're going to use that one. Really, Astrid!? Thought you said it didn't bother you since I was still your Hiccup, the one who was always there for you?" Hiccup remarked angrily. "I was Fury WAY before I met you, Astrid. And I told you that if you wanted to leave me, I'd understand." Hiccup settled slightly.

"Tha–that's nothing to do with this! You barged in here, and are forcing me to talk to you! You promised you would never make me do anything I didn't want to...and I don't want to talk about it!" Astrid stood up now facing him angrily.

"Oh for the love of Thor, Astrid!" Hiccup sighed out frustrated now. "I said I wouldn't force you to do anything you weren't ready for!" Hiccup added.

"Cool, I'm NOT READY to talk about this then! Now will you leave me alone!?" Astrid yelled at him.

"Fine, you want me to leave you alone that bad? I will." Hiccup yelled back louder, she backed up now.

"Wh–what do you mean..." Astrid asked slowly now, Hiccup never took that tone with her, never ever.

"If you aren't going to tell me when something is wrong, then I don't have a reason to be around anymore. If I can't help you, then I have no purpose at your side. I love you to death, Astrid. And I've proven that on more than one occasion to you. Even when you weren't my girlfriend, I proved it to you. If that means nothing to you, then obviously, neither do I." Hiccup said to her in low tone. Astrid's eyes widened.

"Tha–No! That's not true, Hiccup!..." Astrid protested now, had she really upset him that much? Astrid was hurt that her mom had cancer, her dad never told her, and she felt lied to by both of them.

"And if we're on the subject of breaking promises...then you broke yours to me too." Hiccup stated walking towards the door.

"Wait...what are you talking about! I never broke a promise to you!" Astrid yelled running after him.

"Yes you did. Don't remember? Let me remind you then. The night of your mom's wake...Outside the funeral home. You fucking promised me that you wouldn't shut me out! And that's all you've done for two weeks." Hiccup snapped back at her. Astrid froze realizing this now, she had promised him she wouldn't shut him out.

"Why does it matter to you so much to know...Can't you just let me get over it on my own?..." Astrid said as tears were forming now.

"Don't worry, Astrid. You can have all the time you need...But I won't be here." Hiccup said firmly. Everyone gasped now, he was leaving her? "I can't do it, Astrid. I can't bring myself to do it anymore. Do you even know how much it kills me inside to have to listen to you cry every night? To see you in this much pain and you won't let me help you! I'm sorry, I love you but I can't just sit here and watch you suffer..." Hiccup told her now, he wasn't angry he was upset.

"Great, so you're going to leave me because I'm mourning..." Astrid cried now turning her head. Calder wanted to go comfort her but Stoick stopped him.

"He won't leave her, he's trying to get a point across. Don't worry Calder...my son would sooner die than leave Astrid..." Stoick told him quietly. Calder nodded again as they continued to watch.

"No. Because you won't let me in to help you get over it...Don't you get that it hurts me to see you like this! You've been so upset that you're physically throwing up and sick, you won't eat anymore, and you barely sleep. I can see it. You're fucking killing yourself, Astrid and I can't watch that happen to you." Hiccup yelled at her.

"You don't know what this feels like, Hiccup! You don't know what it feels like to find out what I did about my mom having cancer the whole time! Never telling me! You don't know how that feels to get a letter weeks after the funeral when you're finally starting to feel better and then find all that out! You don't know the pain I'm feeling!" Astrid cried hard. Hiccup fumed angrily as he walked past her and in to his room, there was some shuffling before he pulled out a small box and then opened it with a small key on his ring. He pushed the box in to her arms with the lid open.

"You think I don't know how this feels, Astrid...Why don't you sit down a read a few of those first then tell me I don't understand..." Hiccup seethed out. Astrid looked through the box, it was filed according to age, Hiccup's to be exact. In each folder was letters addressed to him from his mother. Starting when he was 4 years old, and until Christmas night, the night she died when he was 7. Stoick didn't even know about this box, it was a shock to him even though from his position he couldn't see what was in it.

"Hic...Hiccup...what...are these?" Astrid asked him now.

"When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, she started writing me letters. Ones telling me things I might not remember when I got older and she was already gone. My mom knew wouldn't survive, just like yours did, Astrid. Those all came in one package when I was 8. A year later. What the fuck do you think inspired me to write that song...They start when I was 4, and go until I was 7. Go ahead, read the first letter she wrote..." Hiccup told her. Astrid couldn't find the strength to locate it. Hiccup pulled the letter out, "Here, let me help you out." Hiccup cleared his throat. "My sweet baby boy, Hiccup. I wish I had better news for you. I just got home from the doctors office, they told me I had cancer. I know you're to young to understand what that is right now...it means there is a bad virus in mommy and its hurting her. The doctors told me I won't live long, they give me a few years at most. I haven't told your dad, he knows I'm sick though. Surgery won't help it, and there is no cure. I'm going to start writing letters to you to let you know how things are going, that way when you're older...you will never forget how much I love you. Mommy is going to fight as long as she can to stay with you. I promise. No matter what happens, you will always be in my heart, even after it stops beating. I love you son...Always, mommy."

Stoick stumbled a bit as Calder and Eret eased him in to a chair. Astrid looked back at Hiccup now as he put the letter back where it belonged.

"Wait, there's more. Here, lets read the last one before she died. 'My dearest son, Hiccup. It's Christmas Eve now. I can see you sitting by the window looking for Santa. I told you that he only comes when you're asleep. It saddens me that this will probably be our last Christmas together sweetheart. Mommy is having trouble keeping her eyes open. You have to promise me something son, that no matter how hard life may get for you...that you will never give up on your dreams. You have to be there for your dad, Hiccup. I'm sorry couldn't be stronger for you so we'd have more time, just know that these last 7 years...have been the best of my life. I'm sorry I won't be there to give you your goodnight kisses on the forehead, or the booboo's. I'm sorry that I won't be there to see you grow up and have a family of your own. But you make sure that you spend every day, appreciating your life and all Odin has given you. You make sure you hold your wife close, and tell you love her every day, be there for her whenever she needs you. And when you have kids, you treasure every moment you have with them because you never know if tomorrow will come. Tomorrow is never promised to us my son. Mommy's hands are hurting now...and I am very tired, my heart hurts and I need to rest so I can see your smiling face Christmas morning. I love you so much my precious child and remember that you will always be in my heart and even if I am not there in person, I will always be there in spirit beside you. Love forever, Mommy.'." Hiccup read off, he put it back in the box now.

Tears were in his forest green eyes, absolute pain and torment rested in them. He didn't even look around the room, he heard the uncontrolled sobs coming from everyone. His father and Astrid especially. His father never knew about this box or the letters in it. Hiccup kept it stashed and never told a soul until now. "You still think I don't know how it feels to find things out after someone dies, Astrid. My mom...knew she was going that year. She knew she was going to die when she was first diagnosed with cancer, something she couldn't fight or cure. Something that killed her slowly, painfully. I had...7 years with her...7 fucking years and I only remember 3 of them!" Hiccup said coldly now.

"Hiccup I..." Astrid was cut off.

"You're upset because your mom didn't tell you about her cancer, until after she died? I wish I'd been so damn lucky to not fucking know! I didn't know what cancer was at 4! I knew my mom was sick and always hurting! She always told me she might not be around forever. Do you know how much that hurts at the age of 4!? I wish I hadn't known my mom was sick and dying! I wish I could of found out later on, and didn't have to watch her suffer for 3 years, so dad wouldn't have to watch her suffer! My mom was right, that was her last Christmas. She went to sleep after I gave her those shoes...and she never woke up again. I had to...listen...to her heart stop beating when I laid in her arms...I had to listen to it slow down and fucking stop! I felt her cold body when I tried to shake her to wake up. I screamed to the heavens for her to wake up. I tried to beat up the paramedics who were taking her away from me. You didn't have to deal with that Astrid! You say I don't understand what you're feeling...you don't understand what I'm feeling! It's been 10 years, Astrid...and the sound of her heart stopping still haunts me. When your mom died, it crushed me all over again. Watching you break down on the hospital floor, screaming for her to wake up. All I saw was me! Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is for me to try and be here for you when I'm reliving everything I already went through!" Hiccup yelled angrily.

"You have no idea how hard it is to watch someone I love be hurting...All I've wanted to do is be here for you, because I know how it feels. I'm sorry if me being pushy is because I don't want you to fucking suffer what I have the last 10 years. I never wanted to watch anyone go through what I did...That's why I wanted you to open up to me...to have you let me in..." Hiccup backed up from her reach as he turned his head. "I told you...I'm not going to sit here and watch you suffer on purpose when you have everyone here to help you and you won't fucking take it because you'd rather be alone. I've been pushing my own pain aside to help you, and you push me away when all I'm doing is trying to care for you. I can't watch you destroy yourself, Astrid. I won't watch it. I refuse to because it will kill me if I lose you too." Hiccup opened the door now. "TOOTHLESS!" Hiccup called out, his dragon crooned sadly as Hiccup jumped on his back. "Get me out of here...now...please bud?..." Hiccup cried softly as he clicked the tail open and Toothless took off.

Astrid didn't know what to say, to think. Her whole body shook as Heather and Ruffnut came over to her and took the box before it dropped and set it on the couch. "Wh–what have...I done...?" Astrid said through the shock.

"Astrid...hey, come on...Stay with me girl...Look at me..." Heather said shaking her a bit. Astrid looked down now, tears streaming down her eyes. Heather and Ruffnut hugged her as they looked at Stoick who wasn't in any better shape.

"I–I can't...lose him...Oh Gods what have I done!" Astrid sobbed.

"Astrid, stop...being this upset isn't good for you!" Ruffnut insisted to her.

"I–I don't care...I–I want Hiccup...I want Hiccup back!" Astrid cried as she pushed them off and ran to her room locking the door and crying on her bed.

"We have to find him..." Heather said quickly as she got up. "Split up...Dagur. Eret, check the race track. Fishlegs and Tuffnut, check the school. Snotlout and Ruffnut, check anywhere else Hiccup might be. We'll stay here incase he comes back..." Heather instructed to them. They all nodded and headed off.

"Stoick...what's going on. You said he wouldn't leave her..." Calder said quickly, still in shock over what they just witnessed.

"I have...no doubts that my son loves her Calder but after hearing that...even I can't be sure if he's being serious or not. I've never heard Hiccup go off like that before..." Stoick said as his eyes fell on the box of letters now. "And until today, I had no idea Val had written those letters to Hiccup..." Stoick sighed getting up as he went to the box and began looking through everything. They didn't know what else they could do besides just wait for some kind of an answer. After 4 hours, Snotlout called Heather.

"Did you find him?..." Heather asked slowly.

"Yeah, he's at the cemetery...sitting in front of his mom's grave..." Snotlout said quietly.

"They found him at the cemetery, Stoick...should they talk to him?" Heather asked now.

"No...If I know Hiccup...trying to interrupt him now would be very bad...for everyone. Have everyone come back...if he's there, he won't be moving anytime soon." Stoick said firmly.

"Stoick said not to engage him...call the others and come back here..." Heather said.

"Got it. On our way back now..." Snotlout said then hung up and called Eret and Fishlegs on a 3-way call. "Hey, found him. He's at the cemetery, his dad says to leave him alone for now and come back to the house. Meet ya there." Snotlout said. With that he and Ruffnut left. Hiccup was just sitting before the headstone, Toothless beside him with a wing up to block the cold winds of being by the water.

"I'm sorry mom..." Hiccup said softly. "You know I love her...and Odin knows I always will...but if she won't talk to me...how can I help her?..." Hiccup looked down now. "It's been so long since I've been here to sit with you...I'm sure you aren't to proud of how I handled things...but she had to hear it...I'm not saying she can't be upset by what happened...but to let it control her...I can't...watch that mom...Please help me to help her because I can't do this alone..." Hiccup felt a few tears fall from his eyes. Toothless crooned at him now and nuzzled his arm as Hiccup looked down at him and sighed. Toothless pressed his forehead to Hiccup's gently.

"Go to her..." Came a whisper in the wind. Hiccup and Toothless both looked around the area for anyone but saw nothing, they looked at one another again.

"You...heard that, didn't you bud?" Hiccup asked. Toothless warbled in response. "Me too...I–is anyone here?" Hiccup called out.

"Go to her..." The voice said again.

"She needs you..." Came another whisper. Hiccup was on his feet now as he felt a warm breeze cut through the cold and wrap around him comfortingly now.

"Who are you?..." Hiccup called out again, he felt stupid. He was legit talking to no one in particular. Maybe he was losing it.

"Go to her son..." The voice said more clearly now but it still came off like a whisper through the passing wind.

"M–mom?..." Hiccup asked, the warm surrounded him again. Hiccup couldn't help but be overwhelmed by joy now, his mom was actually making contact with him. "Odin I've missed you..." Hiccup cried lightly. He felt a light feeling on his forehead, it was just like he remembered from when his mother would kiss him to soothe his tears.

"You must...go to her, son..." His mother's voice was clearer now.

"I–I will!" Hiccup said with a nod. "Toothless, lets go bud...back home...I love you mom." Hiccup said as Toothless prepared to take off. "And thank you..." Hiccup whispered as the wind gave Toothless a good boost in to the air and they were gone.

(The Haddock House)

"Astrid hasn't stopped crying since he left..." Ruffnut sighed sadly. It was then they saw Toothless land in the front yard and Hiccup climbed off him and walked in to the house silently with his finger up to make them keep quiet. Hiccup slowly made his way to Astrid's room and opened the door walking in and shutting it once again. He moved to the side of her bed and knelt down carefully.

"I'm such an idiot...God...I don't blame if he never comes back. I wouldn't even come back to me...How could I be so stupid..." Astrid sobbed out.

"I guess it's a good thing I'm not you then since I want to come back to you." Hiccup finally said. Astrid snapped her head up looking at him in her room now. She couldn't believe it, he was actually here? In her room? Astrid sat up rubbing her eyes now as she saw Hiccup standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hic...cup?" She said in a cracked tone now.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Hiccup questioned.

"N–no...I just...thought...you had left..." Astrid looked down now.

"I did leave..." Hiccup stated calmly. She closed her eyes tightly, "The house, Astrid. Not you." Hiccup sighed now as he bent over and lifted her chin up with his finger so their eyes would meet now.

"But you said..." Astrid started.

"Do you want me to leave, Astrid?" Hiccup asked now.

"No...of course not, Hiccup..." Astrid replied quickly.

"Then I won't leave." Hiccup gave her a soft smile as he leaned close and kissed her deeply. Astrid let the tears fall from her eyes as she kissed him back. Hiccup broke it as he pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in his arms gently.

"Hiccup...I'm so sorry...for everything...I wasn't even thinking about your feelings...I'm such an idiot..." Astrid cried against him.

"You are an idiot...but you're my idiot and I still love you all the same babe. I didn't want to yell at you, Astrid...Odin knows I hated doing it...but you wouldn't listen any other way...You're the love of my life, Astrid. There isn't anything I wouldn't give to take your pain away. I only wanted you to understand that while you're hurting about not knowing about your mom's cancer...at least you got to see her happy, strong, and alive. Every day I watched my mom get weaker, losing a piece of herself...I wish I hadn't known about it...I could of dealt with it differently...I know you're hurting but when you compare it to what I went through...you're the lucky one...You didn't have to go through what I did, Astrid...You didn't have to watch her die slowly...your mom went peacefully, and happy knowing you were okay and happy. My mom didn't get that, she didn't even get her wish of seeing my face Christmas morning..." Hiccup said softly.

"I know...Well...I do now...I'm so sorry Hiccup...I really am...You're right...I didn't go through what you did...If I had...that hospital might of had to put me on suicide watch...I–I don't know how you deal with it..." Astrid said quietly against his chest.

"I promised my mom I'd be strong...And even though the pain threatens to bring me to my knees sometimes, I always get back up because I said I'd never give up and I have not. I never intend to." Hiccup told her. "You don't have to do this alone, Astrid. I can help you but you have to let me help you..." Hiccup whispered against her neck.

"Hiccup...what...made you come back?..." Astrid asked him.

"Mom..." Hiccup smiled.

"What do you mean?" Astrid asked.

"Sitting at the cemetery...I kept asking for her help of what to do. Then...I heard a voice tell me to 'go to her' and 'she needs you'. I felt a warm breeze around me and I knew it was her...so I came back here, because I love you, Astrid." Hiccup said.

"Your mom is right...I do need you...I won't shut you out again, just...don't leave me...don't ever leave me..." Astrid pleaded him.

"You never have to worry about that, Astrid...I'm not going anywhere. I love you." He said softly.

"I love you too, Hiccup..." Astrid replied as they kissed deeply.