The Mysterious 'Ship

Chapter 2: Soft-Boiled Detective of Love

"Pardon me!"

"Excuse me!"

"Hey, you!"

All that day Luan flitted about Royal Woods, pestering every kid, every person that she'd ever seen her brother talk to.

Even animals weren't safe from her, though she got nowhere with them.

Cat must have had their tongues.

Get it?

"Geez," she groaned as she flopped down on the bench. The fedora was tilted to hide her eyes from the sun and she fanned herself with her portable note pad. "Not a single kid knows anything about any girls Lincoln's been watching lately?"

It was more work to keep her subject from getting suspicious and possibly alerting Lincoln than she'd expected, and more than once she wondered if she'd missed getting some info because of her overly cautious approach. But not once had she spotted, in among the elementary school kids she'd interviewed, any girls she'd describe as possessing cute noses.

And the most obvious individual, the one whose name she wrote at the top of her notepad, just seemed too obvious in her mind. So she set it aside.

After a day of this, she decided to head home, but first she stopped off at the library and picked up some of Cuesta Tern's older books.

Both her friend and Luna were right. The woman wrote an addictive book, at least the ones Luan had read. She'd finished the other book yesterday, and since it was Saturday and she'd gotten all her studying done for the test she figured the rest of her weekend could be spent enjoying some fine reading.

And meddling.

But fine meddling.

She did like the finer things, after all.

Get it?

"Ugh, that sucked," she grumbled to herself as she flopped down onto her bed. All the walking she did really took its toll on her and her comedy was the one suffering for it. "But it was worth it, I'm sure."

"What's worth it?" Luna asked as she peeked over the bed railing.

Luan shrugged. "Not much. Just research, that's all."

Her sister raised an eyebrow. "Ouch. What sort of a test are they having you do?"

Realizing what Luna must have thought, Luan laughed. "Oh, not the test! Just some personal research."

"Oh," Luna said. Then she asked, "Wait, personal research?"

Luan didn't like this. Each word could potentially spill the beans, so she decided to try being noncommittal. "Eh, you know, personal stuff."

Her older sister grinned. "Oh, I get it. Personal stuff. Yeah. So," her grin grew wider, more salacious, "how 'personal' is he?"

"Luna!" Luan squealed and smacked her older sister with her pillow.

The girls started laughing, a small scale pillow conflict breaking out in their room.

It only came to a stop when their father called upstairs that dinner was ready.

Thankfully Luna didn't pry any further, but Luan wondered if she'd manage to get a chance to pry herself into Lincoln's life later that night.

At any rate, she didn't.

It wasn't until Sunday afternoon that she managed, ear pressed against the door as before, to get something more.

"Those perky ears, they make you look so gorgeous, so attentive. And I know you're listening whenever I speak, despite appearances," she couldn't help but blush and repress a laugh. Her brother was no poet right then, but she had to hand it to him, any girl who heard him say these things would have to be flattered.

Then, she noticed a different tone slip into his voice.

"God, it hurts to have to hide it from you."

Her chest tightened and she bit her lower lip. After a moment, she moved away from the door, sat down.

"Aw, Lincoln," she cooed under her breath. He must really be torn up over this!

Then a sound reached her ears and, eyes wide, she ducked inside Lana and Lola's room as Lincoln's door opened. From where she hid, she watched her brother walk by before she poked her head out, tried getting a good look at him despite ducking back inside as he turned to go downstairs.

When he was finally gone, she came out and leaned against the wall. "Poor guy," she murmured under her breath. "He must be trying hard to keep it in."

She looked around, the fact dawning on her that her sisters could have easily heard her talking to herself. But thankfully no one did as Lana and Lola were nowhere to be found. Lisa wasn't upstairs, either, as an explosion from downstairs told her seconds later.

Luan sighed as she walked back to her room, laid down on her bed and flipped through her notebook of suspects.

She couldn't stand the thought that Lincoln felt like that, had to suffer unrequited love, and at his age?

No way.

She couldn't stop now. Her brother's heart depended on her!

Come hell or high water, his love would at least be heard!

But first things first, she needed to know; who was it?

Then she remembered the name written in her notepad and, with Lincoln's words still bouncing about in her head, she sighed.

Guess I'll try her next, then.

The evening passed by slowly, and though she reviewed what she'd written down in her pocket notebook, had pondered over it many an hour, nothing more was discovered before the next week rolled around.

It was after school and one horrendously hard test on Monday that Luan rushed out the school doors with her destination in mind.

Royal Woods Elementary.

Fedora donned and with notebook and pen in hand, Luan slid to a stop when she spotted Lincoln, Lucy, Lola, Lana and Lisa all walking along back home together. After they'd left Luan ducked into the school grounds, her target sighted almost as soon as she entered.

Ronnie-Anne.

The girl stood in her usual clothes near a trashcan, gabbing with some other girls as she leaned against the wall.

"Hey, Ronnie-Anne?"

The girl in question turned, noticed Luan, waved. "Hey, aren't you Lincoln's sister? Er," she snapped her fingers. "I mean…" Ronnie-Anne scratched her chin in thought now.

Luan waved it off. "It's Luan, no worries."

"Oh, thanks," Ronnie-Anne replied. "Anyways, if you're looking for Lame-o, he took off already."

Luan didn't quite like hearing Ronnie-Anne call Lincoln Lame-o while he was probably crushing on her and suffering such heartache, but restrained herself. "Oh, I know. Actually, I was looking for you."

"Me?"

Luan nodded, then held her notebook up. "If you don't mind, I'd like to ask a few questions."

A few turned out to be not a few.

"And how would you describe your nose?" Luan asked yet another question as she peppered the younger girl with a veritable inquisition's worth. "Upturned? Down? Big, little, a little crooked, cute, pig-like, long, short-"

"I—uh, what? Huh?" Ronnie-Anne stood there, dazed. "What're you asking for?"

"Your ears?" Luan leaned in conspiratorially. The other girls inched away even faster now. "Would you say they're more small and dainty? Large? Perky, or downcast?" then, so engrossed in her inquisition, Luan switched to another subject. "What about your history?"

"M-my history?"

She didn't even miss a beat. "I mean, how many boys have you…" thankfully, Luan had the tact to lower her voice.

Unfortunately, it didn't really help matters for Ronnie-Anne.

As soon as Ronnie-Anne heard Luan's question, the poor younger girl squealed in a mixture of shock and fright and reacted the only way she knew how.

"What a weirdo," one of the girls muttered as Ronnie-Anne stalked off, her jaw slack and her shoulders hunched over as she tried to ignore Luan.

Luan, for her part, missed this entirely as she rested head first inside the trashcan, her skirt held fast around her legs by the friction of the trash.

After she managed to wriggle free of her impromptu prison, she cringed as she picked a banana peel off her shoulder and threw it back where it belonged. "Note to self; be more gentle in subject questioning."

Then she realized her fedora was missing and, unceremoniously, dove back in to get it.

Afterward, she dusted herself off once more, made sure all her belongings were on her, and called it quits for the day.


A/N: I'll personally be amazed if anyone gets what Cuesta Tern is in reference to. I'll wait until a few more clues are given before handing that over, but I will say it's partly what inspired this work.