TRIGGERS: Mention of urine testing (not in detail), blood drawing (not in detail), mentions of a syringe. Synopsis at the end.


The waiting room was small and the chairs stiff. Jack sat with a clipboard on his thigh and a pen in hand as he filled out a paper. The only sounds were the scribble of the pen, the typing of the nurses' keyboards, and Emma kicking her feet back and forth.

"Jack?" her voice was a small whisper.

"Hm?" he didn't look up from the paper.

"What's that for?" he looked up and saw her pointing at a flag on the wall next to them. Pink, blue, and white. He smiled at the sight and looked over at Emma.

"That's the transgender flag, Em," he returned to his paper. "That's the one I'm gonna get for my room."

"Your room at home?"

Jack shook his head, his brown hair falling in front of his eyes and he absentmindedly brushed it aside.

"No, at my apartment." he flipped the page over to the back.

"Oh." her voice was hollowed with sadness and Jack looked up to see Emma staring at her feet. He set the clipboard aside and turned in his chair, sitting crisscross so he could face her.

"You know you're always gonna be welcome there, right?" she nodded.

"We can have slumber parties!" Jack exclaimed quietly, smiling when he saw her look up at him. "And we can make our own cake pops together. How's that sound?"

A smile made its way across Emma's face and she nodded.

"Okay,"

"Okay." Jack fondly ruffled her hair before grabbing the clipboard and resuming where he left off.

A door in the corner opened with a soft click, and a nurse stepped out with dark blue scrubs.

"Jackson?" she called, looking around at the very few people in the waiting room. Jack stood up and took Emma's hand in his, following the nurse into a room and giving his clipboard to her. Emma sat down in a chair and smiled politely at the nurse.

"And you are?" there was no malice behind the question.

"I'm Emma!" Jack smiled at her and returned his gaze to the nurse.

"She's my sister."

She nodded and told him he needed to pee in a cup and gave him directions to the room and where to put it, but he didn't need it; he's done it before. He turned to Emma and crouched in front of her.

"I've got to go to the bathroom. Will you be okay here?" she nodded and he left the room, walking a little ways down the hall and stepping into the room designated for urine tests. He did the job with little difficulty, having done it three times before. He put the cup into the small metal cupboard and washed his hands before returning to the room.

Jack patted Emma's head as he passed her and sat in the other chair; right next to the nurse's desk.

"Welcome back," she typed some things on her laptop before turning to Jack. "So, Jackson-"

"Just Jack."

"Jack. This is your ninth month on testosterone." she got up from her chair and took out a blood pressure cuff. She wrapped it around Jack's left bicep. "Have you noticed any concerns?"

It tightened, but Jack paid no mind. He stared at the dial, trying to read it, even though he had no idea what it meant.

"I...well, I have been spotting," he looked up at the nurse. "is that normal? I mean, I haven't gotten... that thing in a month or two."

It got tighter.

"Well, let's check your hormone levels." she read the dial before releasing the pressure and pulling off the cuff. Jack pulled his arm back and stood. He knew the drill.

The nurse opened the door and Jack took Emma's hand, following the nurse to the blood-drawing room. He sat in the chair and put his left arm out. He looked at Emma, avoiding looking at the needle, but also keeping her attention away from the blood. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue at her, ignoring the prick in his inner elbow.

Emma giggled and made a silly face back. The nurse wrapped a piece of cotton in gauze to hold it against the slight wound.

"All done! Let's get this looked at."

Jack sat in his chair again, nervously waiting for the doctor to come in and tell him what his hormone levels were. Anxiety flared in his nerves and his heart stuttered. Nausea boiled in his stomach and he bounced his knee rapidly, tapping his fingers against his chest and trying his best not to think about the possibility of something being wrong.

Emma got up from her chair and picked up a small transgender flag on a stick that sat on the desk in a pencil holder. She walked over to Jack and put it in his hand before moving to stand next to him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"What do the colours mean?"

Jack smiled and took a deep breath. Hesitating, he brought his hand from his chest and ran his fingers along the flag. He pointed to the blue at the top.

"The blue means someone born male," he moved his finger to point at the pink on the bottom. "and the pink means that person transitioned to female, or something else feminine."

"And the pink," he pointed to the pink under the first blue line. "that means someone born female," he moved to point at the blue above the last pink line. "and the blue means they transitioned to male, or something else masculine."

"So... you?"

Jack nodded and pointed to the white.

"People see this one as different things. Some think it shows the transition, and some think it shows everything that isn't male or female."

"What do you think it is?"

Jack paused to think, running his fingers over the seam of the miniature flag.

"I think...I think it means both. I think the flag represents everybody who identifies as transgender, not just man and woman." he took her hand in his and flipped it so her palm faced the ceiling before gently placing the flag in her hand.

The door opened and the doctor walked in with a small laptop, greeting Jack and Emma with a smile before sitting down at the desk.

"So, last time, your testosterone levels were at 700, which is pretty good," she turned to look at Jack. "But now, they're at 460. Which is still a good level, but because it dropped so much, your body is...adjusting, so to speak."

Relief flooded through Jack's veins like a coolant and he could finally breathe as he nodded, listening intently to the doctor.

"You are exceptionally healthy otherwise, so we are going to change your dose," she typed on her keyboard again. The room went otherwise silent as Jack waited. "You're at 0.35 milligrams per shot as of now. We're going to up that to 0.40." she stood up and opened a drawer, grabbing a syringe without a needle and walking over to Jack so he can see.

She turned the syringe so Jack could see the numbers and lines and pointed at the line between 4 and 5.

"This is your new dose, okay? I will call in another prescription to your pharmacy." she put the syringe back. "Any questions?"

Jack racked his brain for possible questions but came up empty and shook his head with a smile before standing from the seat and saying his thanks. Emma shyly walked up to the desk and put the flag back, but the doctor just smiled and handed it right back to her.

"You keep it hun, I can always get another one."

Emma's face lit up.

"Really?"

The doctor nodded.

"Thank you!"

Jack laughed and waved at the doctor before taking Emma back out into the waiting room. He told her to sit in a chair while he paid at the front desk and donated $5 to the clinic before taking Emma outside. Flowers lined the brick walls, most wilting but some were as colorful as ever, with bumblebees buzzing around them. Orange and yellow leaves scattered across the pavement in the cool breeze.

He fished his keys from his pocket and unlocked his Jeep. He sat in the driver's seat and started the car, buckling his seatbelt and taking the car out of park.

"Buckle, Emma," he shifted the car into reverse and looked out the rear windshield, draping his arm across the back of the passenger seat. Emma sighed.

"I don't like the feeling of it,"

Jack put the car in drive, pulling out of the parking lot and merging into traffic.

"It keeps you safe. It isn't for comfort, silly." he plugged his phone into the aux cord as he waited for the light to turn green. "Buckle up and you can choose the music,"

"And?"

Jack sighed dramatically.

"And I'll take you to get ice cream."

Emma didn't answer, she just buckled her seatbelt and took Jack's phone from his hand, scrolling through his Spotify.

Toxic by Britney Spears blasted through the speakers. Jack glanced at Emma and laughed.

"You serious?"

Emma looked at Jack in a deadpan and nodded seriously. Jack just shook his head and looked at the road again. Emma sang along loudly and Jack just stayed silent, to her dismay.

But if he belted out the chorus, well, nobody needs to know.


SYNOPSIS: Jack goes to a clinic to check his testosterone levels and he takes Emma with him. He's spotting after two months with no period because his testosterone levels dropped. The doctor raises his dose and he leaves with Emma. They sing Toxic by Britney Spears on their way to get ice cream.

Thank you for reading! Stay safe.