This fic is a sequel to Remeeting, so I'd suggest reading that first.


"A b-big man… totally in black," Saiko said, uninjured but a bit rattled, as they gathered around her. "He saved me, with some sort of rod..."

"Did he say anything?" Haise asked with worry in his eyes.

Akira felt like her heart was in her throat. She had decided to join the Quinx's investigation that day by chance, and while they hadn't gotten much information about Rose, what happened just now… She recognised that description. As scant as it was, she recognised it without doubt.

As the conversation progressed from facts to conjecture—Saiko had little to give about the man—she found herself unable to speak, consumed by thoughts of a person just beyond her reach.

"Associate Special Class?" Mutsuki turned to her, having noticed her silence.

"Is that person somebody dangerous?"

Was he? She didn't know herself.

"Head to the chateau," she said instead. "If he's still in the vicinity, he should be taken in for questioning."

They started to protest, different voices overlapping until they turned meaningless.

"We'll come with you," Haise said strongly, over all the others, echoing the common sentiment.

"No."

"Miss Akira…"

"Are you doubting me, Haise?"

He startled and shook his head, an apology tumbling out from his mouth.

She cut him off, "I'll manage by myself. The Aogiri seemed to be after you and the Quinx, and while they've retreated, staying around here wouldn't be wise."

Urie looked like he very much wanted to disobey. It was at times like this that she disapproved of the drive of some investigators to prove themselves.

If this ghoul was who she thought it was, she needed to encounter him alone.

There was a voice in her head whispering how questionable her actions were, how she was just skirting the edges of being a Ghoul Countermeasure violator, but she squashed it ruthlessly.

She still wasn't sure what to make of the first time they had met each other, but… she would apprehend him without fail if he turned out to be just another ghoul, and she would strike him down without pause if he was a mindless killer… wouldn't she?

She would. She had to. That's what it meant to be an investigator. She couldn't doubt herself.

"This is an order from your superior," she reminded them, staring each of them in the eye. "I'll be in contact once I'm done here."

Finally, they nodded, some still concerned and some grudgingly.

Akira waited until they had left before dashing out, searching both her surroundings and the nearby buildings with eagle-sharp eyes. The lack of light made it difficult, but a slight movement drew her attention to the rooftop of an apartment where there was a dark mass, darker than the night.

Entering the apartment, she took the stairs two at a time, too impatient and anxious to wait for the elevator. She was breathing erratically by the time she reached the top floor… though perhaps that couldn't be attributed solely to her exertion.

She opened the heavy metal door carefully, but that wasn't enough to stop the terribly loud creak. The figure ahead startled and turned; this time she didn't need to look under the hood to know who it was.

"Amon," she said conversationally, as if they were just two friends meeting up and he hadn't been declared dead nearly two years ago.

There was a rattle of breath before he replied, "Akira."

He shifted from one foot to another, clearly nervous, and darted a glance to his side.

"No," she said firmly before he could even finish contemplating his course of action. "You are not going to flee again. You are going to stand here and explain."

There were a hundred different things she could have said in the moment, there was a love that beat in her chest and a hate that flowed in her veins, but she gave voice to none of it except the most neutral of words she could.

Even so, he straightened and faced her, asking softly after a few moments of heavy silence, "What do you want me to explain?

She felt like laughing at the irony of how even when things should have changed irrevocably, sometimes they changed so little. He was under no obligation to actually listen to her, but he acquiesced to her demand just as he might have done back then, a lifetime ago, when he had been her superior but she had been the more assertive one.

"Everything."

Every Countermeasure legislation told her that she should not even be speaking with him, but Akira held onto her quinque and hoped it was enough to keep her sanity. She had spent years visiting his and Takizawa's graves, learning to lock up her feelings so she could continue with her life, but then the Auction raid had forced open that lock in one fell swoop. And now, no matter the cost, she needed to know the truth.

Amon thought, tried to speak and then stopped, looking conflicted. Her answer had been too vague, she supposed.

"That day," she gave him an opening. "We—I—found Doujima, and nothing else."

"Sixty-two other investigators went missing, didn't they?" he asked. "And nothing was found either."

She had her suspicions, the hopes and worries that flitted through her mind every time she remembered that damned raid.

"It was the same thing as in Kanou's laboratory," Amon continued, disgust in his voice as he said the doctor's name. "Aogiri wanted to see how far they could take that… and here I am."

That disgust turned towards himself, and Akira froze, wishing she could comfort him at the same time she wished she could end his existence. To think, that out of sixty-three investigators, he… and…

"Takizawa…" she whispered, his visage coming to mind. A broken, white-haired mockery of her classmate.

Amon closed his eyes, regret etched in every line of his face. "We were the only ones who survived. I couldn't take him with me when I left…"

He had fled Aogiri. He was a half-ghoul, just like Haise. Who had even been on their side once, unlike Haise.

An idea—a hope—was forming in Akira's mind, and despite the stern warning of her rational side—

"You don't have to work alone. You're fighting against Aogiri. That's exactly what the CCG is doing too. You saw it for yourself today; we have an entire squad mentored by a half-ghoul. You would be no different from them… if you chose to join." Akira had rarely begged for anything, but right now the plea in her voice was straddling a thin line. Things could still go back to the way they used to be… even if they would never actually be that way, it would still be a start.

If he returned and was reinstated, maybe she could pretend like her world wasn't breaking at the seams with ghouls turned investigators and investigators turned ghouls, all diluting the once-clear difference between human and ghoul.

"I can't."

Those two words shattered her hopes into little fragments and pain bled from those cracks, but she managed to keep her voice even as she asked, "You can't or you won't?"

"…Both."

Even in the late night, she picked out the steely determination shining in his eyes, shrouded in regret as it was, and she immediately knew he would not budge no matter what sort of entreaty she made.

She wanted to be angry, she wanted to scream and shout at him until the betrayal eased into something she could bear, but she was really the idiot here for expecting anything else. There were two years in which he could have returned to the CCG, two years in which he didn't.

There was nothing more she could ask from him, not when he had made his decision so clearly. Her hand tightened on her quinque, but she couldn't raise it. That expression he was wearing... it was all too similar from back then—

That's truly like you.

If only that knowledge had ever lessened the hurt.

She looked at him, committing every shade and line to memory, before saying quietly, "Get yourself a mask."

Before he could reply, before she could be consumed by the dutiful urge to attack and forcibly restrain him, she turned and left.


Fun fact: initially, all three fics in the Chance Encounters series were meant to be standalones. But while writing Crosswind, I found myself referencing events in this one, and when I checked my draft for this, it contained a few references to Remeeting, so I ended up linking them all :p.

The title Zugzwang is a term in chess and similar games for a situation where you're forced to make a move, but anything you do will worsen your position.

As always, all kinds of feedback are welcome!