Expedition Day 4: Entry 3
On the way to the Sizzling Sands to find Shelda and get the Mothza Supreme taken down, Cromdo told me his tale the whole way.
"See, I want to follow my dream that I've had ever since I first heard Wiggle's music, especially Do the Wiggle. I found a passion in singing. And I don't mean to brag, but I sing pretty good," he explained.
"Can I hear a sample? I promise not to tell anyone," I smiled.
"Oh? Ahem... ~Not awake... not asleep! Get up everybody, come on and do the Wiggle with meeee~. How'd that sound?" he asked. And to be honest? His singing voice was VERY good! It didn't have any of the growly nature that his voice normally had, and he sounded like a great baritone.
"Sounded great! Better than anything I could sing," I smirked.
"Could I hear a sample?" Cromdo asked, me frowning.
"Well... okay, but the same goes for the opposite way. Tell anyone, and I'm not gonna be a happy camper," I said, him smirking and nodding. "~NoT awAAkeE not asLEEp! Get up everyBOdY! Come On anD do thE wiGGLE with MEEE~" I sung, trying my hardest... but the truth was, I was absolutely and utterly tone deaf. And Cromdo then gained a big shitty smirk, but he thankfully didn't laugh.
"Gonna be honest, I thought that you were fibbing, but I could tell you were trying your hardest there. How often do ya sing anyways?"
"Not too often, and only in private. You're the only one other than my parents that have heard me sing... so consider yourself lucky as well as unlucky. I'm tone deaf and I really hate singing in front of others... so when we do get notoriety for being the first expedition to Snaktooth to come back in one piece, I promise to try and help you live your dream. My boss said I'd get a pay rise and promotion if I came back in one piece, but if she tries to fire me regardless... Well, I have a bit of dirt on her," I smirked.
"Dirt? Like what?" he asked as I smiled.
"Two things. One, I know she's a higher member of the Grumpinatti and they're the ones that set the cogs in place for us to come here. If not for them telling Lizbert about this island, then we wouldn't be stuck in this situation," I sighed, him frowning at that.
"Wait... so Liz was tricked into coming here? And by some no-good slugs? Peh, as usual, the man always breaking down the poor and downtrodden. Ptooey!" he growled as I smirked.
"And I also have this bit of dirt that I have on her," I smiled as I grabbed the tape recorder I had in the padded, waterproof part of my bag. I then played it and had the voice of me and my boss speaking to each other.
"Please, please, PLEASE let me go, though? Tell me, has any HUMAN been to Snaktooth? Hmm? I researched that and found out only Grumpuses have been there. I'd be the first human there and I promise to bring back the story of the century!"
"This is absurd... but let's say you do find this island, you do find Lizbert, and you happen to make it back in one piece. Get some interviews, maybe even bring back some of these 'Bugsnax'? Maybe then I'd be inclined to give you a substantial pay rise AND promotion... however, if you blow this and none of it turns out true, your job is officially terminated, got it, skinny?"
"Thanks, I'll get prepared to set sail right away!... Oh, but before that, I want my own apology for that name you just called me."
"Hmph, fine, sorry. You know I have issues with anger."
After hearing that, I then rewound it to the start and then put it back in the bag, Cromdo laughing heartily at that.
"HAHAHA! You got some legit dirt on C. Clumby Clumbernut?! Felicia, you have no idea how happy that makes me! She's the one that made my business go down the tubes when she got the council to outlaw door to door sales deliveries in the city! I want a front row seat when you give it to 'er!" he smiled at me.
"I plan on having all of us at the same time meeting her in person when we get off this island... oh, but one more thing, I have one more Bugsnak to save from this island. It happens to be the daughter of Omari the Poptick and Johno the Shishkebug, her name being Kimji and she's currently in the form of a Buffalocust. I'm gonna need to find her, since she's in the Sizzling Sands... and from what I heard, Shelda never eats Bugsnax, right?" I smiled, Cromdo smirking at me.
"That's what everyone wants to think. I've caught her snacking on Bugsnax in privacy in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep. She always wore extra clothes after so no one'd notice. She just wants to act as a wise old sage with knowledge to share, but it's a bigger scam than that bottle of hair growth elixer I tried to sell ya back in the day," he smirked, me thinking about that.
"Hmm... I think I can remember it as either being Round 4, 5, or 6 of Doorslam," I hummed, Cromdo chuckling at that.
"Eh, I'm just happy ya remembered me from that long ago. It was, what, 4 years since then?" Cromdo asked, me smiling at him.
"You were so entertaining to play that game with. Anytime I closed the door, you always tried to come around with a haggle. And I then opened the door, slammed a piece of pepperjack cheese in your face, and slammed the door again," I giggled.
"The joke was on you, because I like spicy foods," Cromdo smiled, me smirking at that.
"Is that why you always looked at Scorch with drool in your mouth?" I asked, him looking at me in confusion before I pointed at the Scorpepper in a ball.
"Oh, yeah, keep forgettin' that you give 'em names. So, do your Crapple and Scorch friend happen to have any pasts to remember?" he asked, me smiling and nodding my head.
"Scorch only remembers one thing and that's that he used to be an assassin for hire. He wishes to not remember anything more than that... but I'm sure there could be something worthwhile to remember," I sighed, him frowning at me and turning around.
"If I get off this rock alive, I'll try to remember the rest. Since I can't really kill anymore when I'm off this accursed place," Scorch pouted.
"And if you want to know about me... well, I've remembered a bit... I used to be the skipper to Captain Grumpfoot," Applesauce said, me being surprised at that.
"Whoa... so, you used to be a very important person, huh? Grumpfoot is a legendary pirate, after all, so being his skipper is quite the accomplishment," I smiled widely.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. A Crapple used to be the skipper of Grumpfoot the Pirate? How cool is that! Quite the tall tale, and even better if proven true!" Cromdo smiled.
"I do believe I can remember one more thing... his greatest treasure that we ever found together was the fountain of youth. But it wasn't actually a fountain, more like a golden cup. Anything that drank from it would be granted eternal youth, but they could still be killed by disease or forceful trauma," he explained, me smiling at that.
"Well, if we get off this island, then surely we could ask the skipper to unearth possibly the greatest find on the face of the planet, right?" I smiled with moneybags in my eyes. We'd just arrived to the Sizzling Sands, where I looked in the sky to see none other than the bastard pizza moth flying in the sky, way too high to reach.
"Only if we escape this place, and I'll get ya not only the legendary cup, but also a story even better than this one," he smirked as I then instinctively got my camera out and looked at Cromdo.
"Hey, Cromdo? I want to take a picture of you in front of this oasis full of Bugsnax, hopefully with Mothza Supreme in the shot. I want to take a photograph of a Grumpus who has Snakkified limbs alongside a bunch of other Bugsnax. For the paper, of course," I smirked, him nodding and then doing just that, me waiting until the Mothza Supreme could be seen in the distance and I then snapped the picture, which came out perfectly, with the Sodie in the oasis swimming right by Cromdo's foot, a Black Lollive flying by a palm tree, and even some nearby mantis-like Bugsnax and a Buffalocust ahead of us. I then went to the Buffalocust in question and asked a question.
"Excuse me? Buffalocust? I want to talk to someone that's named Kimji?" I asked. And when I said that, the Buffalocust looked down at me and growled.
"And what do you want with 'er? To eat 'er, like all the ones before? Or are ya wantin' to feed me to someone else?" she asked, me noting that she had a similar dialect to Scorch in that she had perfect diction, just with a cockney accent.
"I just wanted to know if I could have you leave this rock along with your mom and dad. Y'know, Omari and Johno?" I asked. And when I said that, the flying chicken looked shocked and finally flew down to me.
"You... you know where my parents are? And ya know their names, too?... And more to the point, you can understand me?!" she asked, me nodding at that.
"Heh, not gonna be the one to burst the bubble, but I actually understand you, too. Probably because you remembered a lot already, or somethin'? That's how it was for Bronnica and Solana, right?" Cromdo asked, me nodding.
"W-Well... I've 'ad long enough to remember who I was. An' I got told more things from my momma when she visited me from the gorge. Ya promise not to hurt me, right?" she asked, me simply providing the ball for her, this one having slits on the sides she could use as wings.
"You get to be the final Bugsnak that escapes this island with me and my group. Come back to the mainland, get a new chance at life, and you get to be reunited with you mom and dad," I smiled, her then looking at the ball and inspecting it for... something.
"Are you with those grifters that I 'eard about? The ones that wanna experiment on us to make us weapons?" she asked.
"If you mean the Grumpinatti, then the answer is a hell no. They're the ones that got us stuck here in the first place, and I want to get back at those jerks. Surely bringing awareness of the dangers of Snaktooth Island will make the Grumpinatti think twice before using it to take over the world."
"Well, fine. But if I see anything screwy, I'm allowed to leave, right?" she asked.
"If you want, then yes. But you'd be staying behind while your parents escape," I said, her frowning at me.
"Either all of us stay, or none of us," she said.
"You'd have to talk to them, first... it's your call. And considering it's been, oh, say, 200 or so years, you're sure to be a mature woman that can make her own choices, right?"
"Not a chance. I still have the mind of a 9-year-old, since that's when I turned. An' I tried to fight back, but they came for me when they took my momma away," she said before then finally going into the ball and closing it herself with her wings. "An' as I said. If I decide, me an' my fam stay here. So don't test me," she said.
"Understood. We're going to go and get Shelda off her butt, now," I smirked.
"Good friggin' luck. She's been eyeballing me for days an' tryin' to sneak attack me. But Bugsnax never sleep an' she don't have nothin' that could put out my fire," she said smugly as I then walked with Cromdo to the nearby tent and we saw that Shelda was meditating on a rock next to it.
"Mmm... this one has many questions, yes?... So it is that one should lead them onto the path of glory," Shelda said, me noting by her voice alone that she was an elder Grumpus, meaning over 60. And I also recognized her voice as being the one who led a yoga class back in the city... but that name wasn't Shelda. The name from before was Shellsy Woolbag, who was never taken seriously during the class, which made me feel bad for her.
"You're Shelda, right? As in, the one that spreads wisdom before then doing the opposite of her teachings?" I asked, her giving me a glare when I spoke.
"You have very annoying questions, but one must remain calm... mm..." she said before going back into meditation, me frowning at her denseness.
"Well, Shellsy Woolbag," I said, that making her jump in surprise. "Yeah, I remember you. The yoga teacher from Seashellsy Yoga, right?" I said, her sighing at me.
"I... didn't expect you'd remember me," she admitted, Cromdo looking surprised at how I'd managed to get through her act. "Yes, Shelda is merely a mask for Shellsy Woolbag... which one were you in my yoga class?" she asked, me smiling at her.
"I was the only human in the class of 2017. I remembered you were the one who taught about deep breathing, and if that didn't work, count backwards from 100 in order to calm yourself. And only then could the yoga class start... and that everyone in the class save for me completely ignored you," I said, her frowning at me.
"You say that you paid attention? What else do you recall from the class of Shellsy?" she asked, me smiling at that.
"The path to enlightenment is fraught with peril, but even the mightiest rock can turn into the smoothest pebble," I smiled, her smirking at me. "And that was the final message to the class before you closed up shop. I didn't expect that you'd be here, to be honest..." I admitted.
"I must know your name, intrepid journalist... forgive me, but I don't recall names or faces as easily as you," she admitted.
"Felicia Bundoga. I work for the New Grump Times and plan on getting all of us back to shore before the island kills us all," I said, her nodding at me.
"I have heard of this happening from the one who flies above... speaking of a human destined to be the next in line for the kingdom of Bugsnax... do tell, what does that mean?" she asked, me having a feeling it was Mothza Supreme above us.
"That must mean Mothza Supreme can talk English, then... well, from what I learned from Megamaki, the island is currently trying to find the next queen of Bugsnax, which will also make up the heart of the island itself. But, around the same time I crashed on the island in a flying ship -no thanks to that damn moth-, Lizbert was sent to the island's center, that being the Undersnax... the Bugsnax swarmed her and tried to turn her into the new queen, but she fought back and is now controlling the Bugsnax. But ever since then, the island's been on a ticking timer that will end on the 7th day of my expedition. When that happens, then Lizbert will lose control of the Bugsnax and they'll attack us with everything they have... and when that happens? I'll let my Buffalocust friend explain," I said, her then doing that.
"When that happens, the Bugsnax will exploit your greatest weaknesses. An' then they'll force themselves down your throat an' turn you into a Bugsnak," she explained. And when that happened, Shellsy gawked at that.
"I knew it! I knew that those Bugsnax were toxic!... Or, at the very least, Shelda did. I admit it, I was a fraud, but I just wanted people to listen to me and my wisdom for once... but now that I know that some people listened to the wisdom of Shellsy Woolbag and took it to heart? I feel that my path is now forged... I shall assist you in getting off of Snaktooth, even if it means working with undesirable Grumpuses such as Floofty and Lizbert," she said, me frowning at that.
"I won't say anything about Floofty, but Lizbert? If not for her holding them back, the Bugsnax would've overtaken all of us a long time ago. The island doesn't even want her to be the new queen. It wants yours truly... as you can see by my head?" I asked, her looking at it and then at my orange hand and frowning.
"Why does your head have numerous sweet Bugsnak looks to it? Is that your way of saying that the island's choosing you? Why not someone else more fitting, like Filbo? Despite what the others say, he is a good leader," Shellsy asked, me sighing at that.
"I don't know why, myself. All I know is that Lizbert is currently holding off the invasion and that she doesn't want me to rescue her... because if I go down there to the Undersnax, then the island will know and want to keep me there. If that happens, then the moment I leave, I risk the island collapsing on top of us... and though it would be a service for this island to sink, I want to bring back everyone safely as well as the story of the century! Of the first expedition to make it to Snaxburg and back. And if I do that, I'd like it if you could give me some more wisdom and yoga techniques... I've uh, kinda been craving it lately, since I realized I have my own weakness," I admitted.
"Mm... but of course, Felicia... what is this weakness you wish to overcome?" she asked.
"Fear... fear of becoming a Bugsnak and forgetting everything I used to be... being stuck on this island with no one to remember me..." I sighed, her then nodding as she then looked at me with a smile.
"Close your eyes, count the specks you see... and calm your senses... then the lesson can begin... you too, Cromdo," Shellsy said, him then doing the same and me then doing so and sitting down with my legs crossed... and I also had a feeling the Bugsnax were doing the same thing. "Clear your mind of all negative thoughts..." I then sighed and focused, clearing my head and thinking only of positivity... "Though the bees are weak on their lonesome, a colony of helpers can fell hornets thrice their size... remember that fear can never truly overtake you, so long as you hold your loved ones close," she said, me sighing contentedly as I smiled... I felt... so at ease... so at peace! I had a sense of calmness to me... and then, I opened my eyes, and saw that Shellsy looked at me with a smile.
"Ah, the caterpillar has turned into a butterfly... or in this case, the Weenieworm into a Cheepoof," she said, me being confused at that... before I felt something move on my back... I looked there, and was shocked to see that... I had wings on my back. Cheepoof wings! And they were huge!
"Haha! Wow! You've got some serious wingspan right there, Felicia! Why don't ya try 'em out? It might be our best shot at gettin' Liz outta that Undersnax place, right?" Cromdo asked, me smirking at that... I then focused on flying... and I gawked at how my wings activated like a second instinct and I then felt myself fly off the ground!
"H-Hey! Get back here! I wanna join ya!" Kimji shouted as she then flapped her wings and flew after me, me then flying through the air and then looking at the next target. The Mothza Supreme, who definitely noticed my wingspan by now!
"I am Felicia the fraidy-cat no more! I am now, Felicia, the QUEEN of Bugsnax!" I shouted with oomph as I then flew directly at Mothza Supreme and readied the Snak Puncher. "This is for ruining my ship!" I shouted as I punched the moth's left wing, which broke it off completely, sending the big pizza moth to hurdle into the ground, me then flying down and seeing that it had turned into a single slice of pizza and looked pretty pathetic without its wings.
"Oogh... that hurt worse than the shot to shoulder I had in the battle of 1812... impressive shot, for a new queen..." Mothza Supreme groaned in pain as I then landed right next to it and then asked a serious question.
"Tell me. If I kill you and turn you into mush, what will happen to Lizbert?" I asked.
"She'd lose control over this side of the island. And trust me, last thing you want in town is a troop of Bugsnax that specialize in fire attacks," she said, me frowning at that. It was the same story told by Megamaki.
"And who is supposed to be the true queen of the Bugsnax if it's not Lizbert?" I asked.
"You said it yourself. You're the true queen that the island desires. If you go to the Undersnax, unless you give up your hand down there, you're staying there permanently," he said, me frowning at that.
"Gotcha. So, you going to join us? Or are you going to stay here?" I asked.
"Only if you carry me. I don't have a mode of transport without my wings, thank you very much," he frowned as I simply frowned at Mothza Supreme and poked it in its eye. "OW! What was that for?!" it shouted.
"For ruining my ship and stranding me here. What else needs to be said?" I frowned, the giant pizza snack growling at me as I simply picked it up and looked at Cromdo and Shellsy with a smile.
"That was pretty awesome! You're flying! I wonder if those wings'll stay on ya after we leave this place?" Cromdo asked, me shrugging my shoulders.
"I dunno. All I know is that it is, in fact, awesome. Let's get back to town now. What do you say, Shellsy?" I asked, her smiling at me.
"But of course, young Felicia. We will do so right away," she smirked as we then walked/flew off back to town and I also noted that Kimji was still following us with her wings flapping in the air.
"You do know that those wings won't do any good if they get damaged, right?" Kimji asked, me nodding at her.
"I know this, so they're going to be protected by you," I smiled.
"Heh, finally, I get to do something useful for a change," she smirked.
"Oh yeah? Last I checked, you were suspicious of us," Cromdo smirked slyly.
"Don't push yer mouth, bub. I've seen ya gawkin' over my momma before," Kimji pouted in annoyance.
"Gimme a break, will ya? At the time, I thought they were money makers. But now that I know the truth, I don't want nothin' to do with eatin' Bugsnax. I don't even wanna sell 'em, since I know they're basically Grumpuses turned into parasites," Cromdo frowned.
"Don't wemind me. I hate it just as much as you do," Solana said with a sigh.
"Same as the Hunnabee. What's your name?" Kimji asked.
"Sowana. My bwo is on this island. He hasn't turned yet, thank Gwump, an' I wanna go home with him."
"And we will, promise," I smirked. But since we now had one more Bugsnak that could talk perfect English, I had to ask. "Hey, Kimji? Would it be too much to ask if I could get an interview with you when we get back to town? I'm going to save the final tape for when I interview Lizbert when I save her," I asked, her then responding with sass.
"Peh, might as well. Not like yer gonna have any other Bugsnax to interview," she said, me smiling at that.
"Maybe Bronnica, but she's not learned how to say everything in English... yet," I smiled.
"She's got a point," Solana said with a giggle.
"And it looks like the sun is just about ready to be going to 3 in the afternoon... by the time we get back, it'll be 4... so maybe I could ask for Chandawg Funkbun to help out in defeating Mama Mewon in the Flavor Falls," I smiled.
"Heh, good luck. She's the bulkiest of the queens and has many, many children. You'd best hope you get rid of those kids, or you're not having any luck," Mothza Supreme said as I then asked it a question.
"Tell me, pizza girl. Who were you before you became queen of the Sizzling Sands?" I asked.
"A random human from the war of 1812. I was captured by British Soldiers after they shot me in the shoulder. The ship crashed here and I was about ready to die from the trauma of the wound and them not treating it... that's why I got turned. Because the Bugsnax eased the pain of the wound. And when you leave, I want off, too," she said, me frowning at that.
"And tell me why I'd let that happen when you ruined my ship? As far as I know, you could wreck it again when we go to escape," I frowned.
"If I get off this rock, then one of my Bombino will turn into the next Mothza Supreme. But if I stay here, then I'm gonna recover my wings at some point. You need to put me in a concealed space so I don't regrow them," she explained, me smiling at that.
"How about a shoe box? I have one on my airship," I said.
"Very well. You're lucky I can't move in this state I'm in currently, or I'd be hurting you again," she said in annoyance.
"I hate you too," I frowned at her.
"As well you should."
