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Chapter 12 Shields down

Edward POV

I had thought my question about where she had traveled to was an innocent one. But I really should have known where it would lead. I was angry that this guy had done this to Bella. That her life had become a game of cat and mouse. But there was nothing I could do about that. I didn't get the canche to try and lighten the mood, because class was over and we had to go to other classes.

This morning before I left to pick up Bella and Luke, I had heard in Esme's mind that she really wanted to see them again. So I decided to invite them over after school. Alice had already seen that they would say yes, so it wasn't a surprise when they did.

Esme was ecstatic to see them. She was doting on Luke like a mother from the second he walked through the door.. No, not a mother, I realized. A grandmother. I saw in her mind how that was her perspective. She saw how even though Bella was Luke's sister, she acted and cared for him like a mother would. Since she had already guessed, even though I hadn't yet confirmed it to anyone, that I was essentially trying to court Bella, this would put me in the fathers role, making Esme a grandmother. "Father." I had never even thought it could become a possibility that I could ever be a father. Not even in the way Carlisle was to me. But if I wanted to be with Bella, which I really did, Luke would naturally follow. I found that I liked the idea of being a father to Luke. He would need a male figure in his life. Especially when he hit puberty. I would teach him to be a gentleman. Even if he already kind of was one.

But all of this was completely null void if Bella didn't like me back wasn't it? Over the last week I had done everything I could think of to help Bella wherever I could. I tried to show interest in her by inquiring about her life, her personality. She too had shown curiosity, but I couldn't be sure that there was any more than that. I had never done this before. I had never been interested in a woman before, so even though I was pretty sure I was doing everything right, I had no idea what the signs of her affection would be. Not being able to read her mind was getting more frustrating by the day.

The air in the house was warmer than usual to accommodate Luke. It didn't bother me at Bella's house, or the other day when they came here, but right now at this moment, I felt like I was boiling. I excused myself and went outside to get cooled down. It helped a little. I had been outside for little more than an hour. Esme had stalked the kitchen for when Luke came over, so it wasn't a surprise to hear her ask Luke what he wanted to eat, when he's stomach started gurgling. She started to prepare him a sandwich when I heard the beautiful bells of her voice.

"Esme, do you mind looking after Luke for a while? I think I need to go hunting."

"No, of course not dear. Rosalie and I will take care of him. Don't you worry."

I saw through Rosalie's eyes how Bella then turned to Luke. "Do you mind staying here while I go get my own dinner? I promise to be back before long."

I heard Luke's response in his mind. No I'm fine. Go eat. "Thank you sweety."

Then she kissed him on the forehead and walked out through the front door. I had just turned around to go after her, she shouldn't be alone, when all of a sudden she was standing about 10 feet in front of me. Smiling sweetly. "I love that smile."

"Hi there."

"Hi. Going hunting?"

Her smile turned sheepish. "Actually, that was kind of an excuse."

Why would she need an excuse to leave? "An excuse for what?"

"To come out here. To find you." She stated that so matter of factly, I was a little shocked.

"Find me. Why? You knew where I was."

"Yes, but you've been gone for more than an hour now. I was getting worried." Her brows knitted in concern.

"Bella was worried about me? How could I be so stupid? I wanted to make her happy and safe, not worry unnecessarily." I tried to smile the best I could. "You don't need to worry Bella. I'm fine, I just needed some space to think. I can still hear everyone, but out here it's a little more durable."

"Oh, okay." She was silent then, but she looked to be thinking hard about something. I waited for her to say something, but she just kept staring at me, while the wheels turned in her head. I couldn't keep it in any more. I had to ask.

"What are you thinking about?" "God that felt so good to say. Like a gasp of fresh air after having been underwater for too long."

"I'm thinking about how to help you."

I was confused. "Help me with what?"

"Well." She said as she took a few steps towards me. "I've been thinking a lot about your talent recently. How you have silent conversations with people, how you sometimes by accident turn around at what I assume was someone thinking your name, and you turned around reflexively without meaning to. I mean I'm assuming, I can't know for sure. So that got me thinking. What must it be like to be able to hear everyone's thoughts all the time, every hour of every day. When does he get a break from it? Does he ever? And with so many people at school, it must literally feel like a constant headache. I don't understand how you have not gone insane yet. How you can even stand to be around people at all, how you can smile and be happy most of the time, and not be bitter in the slightest." She had been looking anywhere but at me while she spoke, but now she looked at my face and halted. Her eyebrows raised. "Edward?"

I knew what she saw. Mouth open in awe, eyes wide in shock and body still and motionless as the marble my pale skin resembled. I was frozen like an ice sculpture, but the warmth in my chest had transformed from a spark to a bright, warm flame. "How has she seen so much? How close attention has she been keeping? How was she able to read me so accurately? She is amazing. She has so many things to worry about already, yet she has found time to not only notice my daily struggle, but even try to find a way to help ease it."

When I could finally move again, I managed to put on a smile. But I was sure she could see that it wasn't a happy one. "You're very perceptive. Not many have noticed these things. Carlisle, Esme and Alice are actually the only ones, but they also know they cannot do anything to help, so they don't bring it up. I'm sorry to say it Bella, but I don't think there is anything you can do either."

"Really? How do you know?"

One eyebrow lifted up my forehead. "This has been my life for more than 80 years now, Bella. If there was a way, don't you think I would have found it?"

"No, I don't." Her smile returned. "You told me that you've never met anyone like me before. So naturally, the solution would never have come to you. If I'm right in my hypothesis that is."

"What hypothesis?" I was very interested to know what she had come up with.

"Remember how I told you that I could extend my mental shield to another person beside me if I concentrated?" I nodded. "What if I extended it to you? Since you power can't penetrate the shield from the outside, would it be able to from the inside? Or would the shield prevent you from hearing anyone?"

Shocked as I was again, this time I was able to smile a true smile. "Try it. Please."

Her face and posture relaxed. Her eyes were half closed and unfocussed. Suddenly everything became quiet. The voices from the house all vanished. Now there were only the sounds of nature around us. The soft crunch of snow as a sparrow nearby, hoped around to find an insect to eat. The sound of the breeze as it rustled the treetops. Bella's soft breathing as she watched me in anticipation. "It worked." I said, astonished. "Unless they've all left, it worked." I laughed. Bella smiled too, but she didn't laugh with me. She looked speculatory again. Then she slowly stepped forward and raised her right hand and held it to my left cheek. "How about now?" I took an involuntary step back, leaving her hand floating in the air between us. She grinned. "You heard me." She whispered.

"How did you do that?"

"I thought that since my shield was around you and not just me, you might be able to hear my thoughts. I tried talking to you before but you didn't answer. So maybe if I made direct contact. And I was right."

I stepped back to her, and she put her hand to my cheek again. "How does it feel? Finally hearing the words of my silent mind." My happy grin could have blinded the sun, it was so bright. I roughly grabbed her around the middle, lifted her up and twirled her around while laughing like a maniac. "It feels amazing Bella!" She was laughing too while holding on to my shoulders. I let her drop to her feet, but I didn't let go of her just yet. "I'm so happy I could help you a little. I like your smile much better than your frown." I didn't know how it was possible but my grin somehow grew even more. She stepped back then so I couldn't hear more. Just before the connection broke, I saw that she was worried she would slip up and think about something embarrassing.

I was still looking at her, my smile still in place. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask something of you?"

"Uhmm, sure. What do you want?"

"If I'm ever in need of some peace and quiet, can I ask you to do this again?"

That smile. This one. Not the normal smiles she gave to everybody else, but this one. Was my favorite kind that she had to give. So sweet and tender, so caring and full of love.

"Of course. That's why I wanted to try it out. This was supposed to be my repayment. A thank you for all the help you have given me and for all the love and care you've shown Luke. It means the world to me. So this is not something you have to ask for. It's a gift."

"Thank you." I nearly whispered. The painful prickle behind my eyes told me that if I could, I would have shed a tear of gratitude.

"I'll let down the shield now. Get ready. I don't know if the voices will come back gradually or if they'll jump at you."

I nodded. Then the thoughts of everyone in the house sprang into my head. I winced at the volume. She clearly saw. "I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath. "No, it's fine. I just hadn't prepared myself enough I guess."

The voices had blended together at first, but I could distinguish them now. "Damn that nosy Alice. Now everyone thinks I'm in love with Bella." Truthfully I was, but I hadn't planned on them all finding out this way. Alice had seen a vision of what Bella intended, placed herself at the living room window to watch, because she was nosy, and then everyone had seen me twirling her through the air while laughing so hard they could all hear it. And that had led Esme to talking to Carlisle about her suspicions about my affections, which apparently he had also had. He had just kept his thoughts clear of the subject while I was around. He was good at that. Naturally, everyone had joined in the conversation and was now discussing it. Even Luke had joined in the banter. Carlisle knew the basics of ASL so he could understand some of what Luke said. Luke was only commenting about my actions and how he too thought I liked Bella, but his thoughts were different. They primarily surrounded Bella's reactions to me. According to him, she liked me too. But if it was the kind of love the others were talking about, he had no idea. He knew nothing of that kind of love, never having really seen it before.

They were all so loud. I didn't want to hear this. But I also couldn't ask Bella to block them again. She looked a little dizzy. Perhaps her powers drained her energy. I was reminded then, of how she had gotten out of the house.

"Let's go hunting."

She focussed on me. "Do you need to?"

"Not really. But I think you do. It wasn't just an excuse to get out here to me was it? You thirsty."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

I raised an eyebrow. "Your shield takes a lot of energy out of you doesn't it?"

Her brows furrowed and her lips pouted. It was cute. "A little, Maybe."

"Then let's go." I took her hand in mine and started to walk away from the house. It didn't take long for us to start running. I couldn't tell how she felt, running by my side. But having her beside me, made my chest fly.

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