The next morning, I woke up before Steph. She was basically on top of me with her hair half on her pillow and half on me. She had her right arm wrapped around my waist and her left arm under her pillow. I had entwined her entwined right legs with mine. I gently eased out of bed so I wouldn't wake her up.
Stephanie woke up an hour later. I had already gone for a run on the beach. She took a shower, then she came into the kitchen while I was cooking. She looked so beautiful in the PJ bottoms and t-shirt she was wearing.
"Hey Ranger, I hope I didn't sleep too long." She moaned ever so lightly, "That smells so good. What are you cooking?" She walked over next to me to watch what I was cooking.
I turned around and there stood the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her hair was disheveled. I had to kiss her, otherwise, I would lose my mind. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. We kissed good morning, and I pulled back to stare into her beautiful eyes. "I'm making omelets and bacon, babe. Have a seat and I will give you a plate."
She sat down on a stool at the island. She turned to look around. "Where is Jackson?"
I knew it was just a matter of time before she asked about him, "Babe, he is with Tank and Lula. He wanted to stay with them to play with Mathew. I hope you don't mind that he is there?"
"No Ranger I don't. I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. When I shouldn't have, I freaked out. I guess you want to take me to the doctor, right?" She looked uncertain about the whole situation.
"Babe, I want to take you to the doctor," I moved in front of her to hold her hands and to look into her eyes, "But I also what you to know that whatever you decide to do I will stand beside you in whatever decisions you make."
"Thank you for that Ranger. Let's finish eating breakfast, then we can go to a doctor and get this over with." Stephanie didn't look like she was happy about going, but we knew it had to be done. I sat the plate of food down in front of her. She looked at it, took one bite, and ran to the bathroom. So much for her getting to eat.
I took the plate back and made her some ginger tea and gave her a couple of crackers. I figured she was probably going to get sick, so I had that on standby.
We pulled up to the private OBGYN that I made an appointment with. There was no way I was taking her to any doctor in the Burg, not after the way her mother and sister treated her. The lady greeted us at the front desk and advised us that the doctor would see us now. Steph didn't seem to find it odd that we went right on the back, or if she did, she said nothing.
Dr. Lydia Martinez shook Steph's hand and my hand. She advised she would perform a pregnancy test to see if Babe was pregnant and if so, then she would do an ultrasound to determine the age of the fetus.
Stephanie did not look like she wanted to be here, and I honestly couldn't blame her. Dr. Martinez had Steph pee in a cup. Once that came back, she was indeed pregnant. She had Babe roll her pants down under her stomach, and she squirted some cold liquid on her. She grabbed a wand and ran it over the area where the gel was at. On the screen, you could see a baby. You could make out most of the features of the child.
Babe was overwhelmed and started crying. Dr. Martinez stated it was a boy and printed out the ultrasound pictures. She made an appointment for Steph again in 1 month.
On the way back to her house, Steph was quiet and detached from everything. She almost seemed like she was dazed. We pulled up at the beach house. I carried her inside and placed her gently on the sofa in the living room. Jackson was back and came running in with Tank right behind him.
"Mommy, you're back. I missed you." He ran over to Babe and hugged her. She hugged him back but didn't seem like she knew he was there. Jackson picked up that something was wrong. He turned to me, "Ranger, what's wrong with Mommy? She seems like she is sad. Did you hurt her?"
I took a seat next to Babe on the sofa. I turned to look at Jackson. "No, little man, I didn't hurt your mommy. She is just having a rough day. We need to be quiet and let her rest, okay?"
Ella came from the kitchen to get Jackson so he could help her make cookies. She had called me earlier, letting me know she was going to come over and cook something for us to eat for dinner, so Steph or I wouldn't have to do it. Tank walked out right behind her, stating that he needed to leave and that he would see us later. When he left, I sat next to Steph on the sofa. "Babe, are you okay?" I put my finger under her chin and turned her face so she was looking at me.
"Yeah, I just don't know what I'm going to do. I know I don't want the baby. Not that I have anything against the baby, I just don't want it. I want to be a mother again someday, but I can't be a little boy. You know he will look like one of the guys that hurt me. Now if it was a little girl, that might would be different because she may look like me." She looked out through the windows, watching the ocean waves hit the shore.
"Babe, you can always give the child up for adoption. If you don't know anyone that wants to adopt a baby, then you can go through an adoption agency. Either way, I will be here for you in anything that you want to do." I wanted her to know I wasn't going anywhere, and this didn't change things between us.
She was thinking about what I said and then reached for her phone. I didn't know who she was calling, but I wanted to find out.
"Val, this is Steph. Can I meet you somewhere for lunch? I have something I want to discuss with you?" If Val agreed to meet Babe for lunch, I had to know what was going on in her brain.
When Babe hung up the phone, she handed the phone to me and just continued staring out at the ocean through the window.
"Babe, why do you want to talk to Val?"
"Because they have always wanted a little boy, and I figure if anyone would want to adopt this baby, they would with it being a little boy."
Leave it to Babe to always think about other people. She truly has a heart of gold.
"Babe, I didn't think that you and Val were speaking to each other?"
"We haven't been, but she is curious and will want to know what I want to talk to her about, so she will show up."
"Do you think she will adopt the baby?"
"Yes, because it's a boy and if she doesn't want to, then I will see if Tank & Lula would like to adopt him. I would rather find someone that I know will take care of the baby than I had to let just anyone I don't know adopt him."
"I'm proud of you, babe. You are so strong and brave. You are my hero. With everything that you have been through, you rise above it all. You are truly an amazing person."
She hugged me, and we got ready so I could take her to see Val. I hoped she would adopt the baby. I think Steph wants to keep the baby in the family so she can see that it's taken care of, and she can watch the child grow up. That's just my opinion, though.
We met Val at a little diner right outside of the Burg. It's a small diner with red/white checkered tablecloths and home-cooked meals. We didn't order food. Babe was too nervous to eat, so we ordered coffee and waited for Val and Albert to show up.
Val & Albert showed up about 5 minutes later. Val knew what happened to Steph but has never really commented on it. She has just taken their mother's side on everything. They sat down in front of us and order something to drink. They said nothing to us.
"Val & Albert, I asked you two to come here today because I'm pregnant with a baby boy that I don't want, and I was wondering if the two of you would like to adopt him. I am due in about 5 months. It's from my attack with my ex-husband and I don't know who the father is." I held her hand as she was talking, so she knew she had my support with everything that she was doing.
Val & Albert started talking among themselves. They have yet to say anything to Steph. Finally, Valerie spoke, "Steph, I'm sorry about everything that happened to you. We already have 4 girls now and weren't planning on having any more children. We appreciate the offer, but I'm sorry we can't adopt your baby." After she said their piece, they both stood and walked out without another word.
Babe said nothing. She just grabbed my hand, and we stood up and walked out. Our next stop was seeing Lula and Tank. I called Tank to see where they were at and he stated they were at their house with Jackson and Michael, their son, so that's where we headed.
I didn't know how Babe would feel having Jackson there and hearing about her being pregnant. I called Tank to give him a heads up. We were coming over. Jackson greeted us at the door.
"Mommy, look what Uncle Tank and Aunt Lula got me" He showed us a Nerf water gun. It was almost as big as he was.
"That's great, baby. You can kick butt in that. I need to talk to your uncle and aunt for a few minutes, okay?"
"Hey Little Man, you want to show me how that thing works?" I figured I would let Babe talk to Tank & Lula by herself. "Babe, if you need me, I'm going to be outside with Jackson." I brushed a kiss across her forehead and led Jackson outside.
Tank's Point of View
Steph, Lula, and I went into the dining room so we could chat for a few minutes. I think I knew what this was about, but after Steph told us; I was way off, and I was stunned too.
"Okay, I'm going to cut right to the chase. I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is. What I want to know is, would the two of you like to adopt the baby? It's a little boy." Steph sat back as she waited for our answers.
Lula and I looked at each other and knew that we would have to discuss this. We told Steph to give us a few minutes and let us talk about it and see what we had come up with. In the end, we decided we couldn't adopt the baby. We just weren't ready for 2 babies under 1 at the same time.
Ranger's Point of View
Steph seemed to accept that so far, those that she had contacted cannot adopt her child. I'm more than willing to help her raise this child. I just know that she isn't sure she wants it. It's not because the baby came from rape, it's because the baby is a little boy, and she didn't want a baby to remind her of her assault.
We came back to Rangeman with Jackson in tow. Steph and Jackson are sitting on the sofa in my apartment on 7 watching tv together. She wanted to spend some time with him.
I'm in my office on the 5th floor, going over some paperwork. I'm glad she finally got over her frightfulness of everyone. She now knows that no one in this building will hurt her. Which is a good thing.
A little after 5 pm I walked into my apartment with Jackson and Babe both asleep on the sofa. It looked like they had fallen asleep while watching tv. I gently picked up Jackson and laid him down in his bedroom.
I turned my office into his bedroom, and I moved my computer into a corner in the dining room. There was a perfect little area that was being unused that is perfect for the computer setup. Steph and Jackson still stayed in the house on the beach, but I figured if she keeps this baby, I will move in there with them, or we would find something else if that's what she wanted to do.
They have been going back and forth between the house at the beach and my apartment. I don't mind that they are here with me, that's why I made a bedroom for Jackson. I figure, though, if Babe keeps the baby, then we will move to the beach house permanently because there is more room.
I went back and watched Steph sleep. With her being 4 months pregnant, she is showing and is radiating. She is so beautiful when she is pregnant. I secretly think that she wants this baby, but she is afraid that keeping it will make the rape okay. If she wants the child, then I will not keep her from keeping it and I will love the baby just like I do Jackson.
I picked Steph up and placed her gently in bed. I removed her clothing and put one of my t-shirts on her and a pair of Rangeman panties. She wore my clothes and had my name on her.
I went into the bathroom and did my nightly duties. Ella brought dinner around 7 and I ate mine, but I put Jackson's and Babe's in the frig for later. I grabbed my laptop and sat in bed next to Babe. I went over some of my emails while I watched her sleep. After about 2 hours of basically checking emails and a little work, it was a little past 9, so I figured it was a good enough time to go to sleep. I normally don't go to sleep this early, but I will concede this time, hoping I get to sleep through the night.
I woke up and looked at my clock. It was 3:17 am. What startled me awake? There it is. I heard it again. A noise. I turned to see that Babe was not in the bed, so I figured it was probably her. I eased out of bed and walked into the kitchen and there she was, eating her dinner that she had just taken out of the microwave.
I walked up behind her and put my arms around her waist. "Hey Babe, you must have gotten hungry?" was all I asked her.
"Yep." That was her one-word response to me.
Okay, I knew something was wrong. I could sense it in the way she held her body and the one-word response.
"Babe, what's wrong? Talk to me and tell me what's on your mind. Don't shut me out, please."
She turned her head and her eyes investigated mine. All I saw was uncertainty and fear. Fear of what, I'm not sure. "Ranger, if I can't find anyone to adopt this baby, I may have to keep it and I don't' know how I feel about that. I would never mistreat a child, but I don't know how I feel about having a baby who will look like one of the guys that hurt me. What would you do if you were in my situation?"
No doubt I was going to tell her the truth. I just wasn't sure how she would take it. She is still very fragile and sometimes I feel like her trust in me wavers when certain things are said or done.
"Babe, if I was in your situation, I would have the baby and love the baby. A baby's parents don't make the child. It's the way you love and raise a child that makes them the person they become. I understand it's important to you not to relive the assault by seeing the baby every day, but you don't have to worry about that. We will be together, and I will help you raise and take care of that child. I will be the baby's father. When the child gets older, if we decide to tell him about what happened, then we can."
She walked over to the couch and sat down. She turned her head to look at me. I was still standing by the counter with my arms crossed over my chest. "Ranger, how would you help me raise a child when you will not be in my life forever? I shouldn't be here forever. You have your business to run. You can't babysit me from now until forever. That's not fair to you or your business."
I walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. "Babe, we haven't known each other very long, only a few months, but I can tell you now that you are an amazing woman. You are the woman that I want in my life. I would never hurt you. You may not want to hear this or be ready for this, but I care about you, and I want to protect you. I will never ask you to leave. The only way you would leave is if you left on your own accord."
She is watching me like she's not sure what to make of what I just told her. "Ranger, I don't want to be married again, because I don't want to be accused of being a bad wife. But I want a committed relationship. One where I know that I'm only with one person and he is only with me. Is that possible with you?"
"Of course, babe, that's possible with me. It's been like that since I've met you. There has been no one else. I would love to make you my wife, but if that's not what you want, then that's okay. I can live with just being together. But, babe, you need to decide what you want to do about the baby that you are carrying."
So, we decided we would just commit to each other from that point on. If at someone point down the line, we got married, then so be it. If not, then that was okay, too. I just wanted her to know I wasn't going anywhere.
