(Note 6/11/22: Apparently deleted this story because I broke the guidelines so I decided to never make non story chapters and finally got the determination to re-uploaded this story. I apologize for my long hiatus. The reason for that is school, and another reason is I'm planning something big on Wattpad. If you're interested, you can go follow my Wattpad account so you can check back if any stories are made as a few of my projects are mainly being made there)

YO! IT IS I, LONELYSQIURE1, BACK WITH A NEWWWWWWWWW CHAPTER!!! FINALLY! After so long i managed to get a chapter up and going. I had to deal with other things in my personal life so I took some (a lot of) time until I'll come back to do more chapters. As for you guys, thanks for being patient and I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. Anyway, this time the anomaly they'll be reacting to is SCP-504, the Critical Tomatoes. This SCP was one of my favorites, so why not do this SCP. Also expect a lot of puns in this chapter due to it's supernatural nature. So yeah, here, another chapter, just what you readers want.

Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia or The SCP Foundation, they all belong to their respective owners.


Chapter 4: SCP-504

Last time the MHA characters got to know and meet SCP-131, while Iida raced them. After they went 5 laps, it was a tie. After the race, O5-0 removed the race track and sent the SCPs home, which made some of the girls 'aww' in sadness, but Zero reassured them that there will be more SCPs like them.

"Alright everyone, it's time for the next SCP" Zero said.


ACCESSING SCP FILES

ACCESSING COMPLETE

FILE FOUND

OPENING FILE: SCP-504 CRITICAL TOMATOES


"Tomatoes?" Midoriya asked, confused that they went from different creatures to a fruit/vegetable. However amongst the crowd Yui from Class 1-B perked up at this SCP since she likes tomatoes.

Item #: SCP-504

Object Class: Safe

"Hey, another Safe class." Kirishima said. "We know that Shitty Hair!" You can guess who said that.

Special Containment Procedures: All seeds, plants, fruit, crossbreeds, and other products of SCP-504 are to be classified as SCP-504. SCP-504 seeds need no special containment, other than to prevent misuse by unauthorized personnel. Grown SCP-504 plants and their fruit should be kept in soundproof rooms. Guards and researchers assigned to maturing or growing SCP-504 are to be equipped with radio-enabled masks which insulate non-transmitted sound, and are to be instructed to avoid attempts at humor.

"Why would they need to avoid making humor near the tomatoes?" Present Mic asked. "Dunno, but sometimes people use tomatoes to throw it at comedians who fail to tell a funny joke." Ms. Joke said.

Description: SCP-504 is a species of tomato physically and genetically identical to that of the typical commercially-grown tomato.

The SCP was... a tomato plant. Nothing special.

It was recovered in [REDACTED, Kentucky after a woman reported to the police that her farmer husband had been "murdered by his lunch". The Foundation is currently working to identify and destroy loose strains of SCP-504 in the surrounding commercial farming areas.

"I'm sorry, "murdered by his lunch"?" Denki said in a confused tone. "That's even weirder than "you are what you eat".

The Foundation is currently working to identify and destroy loose strains of SCP-504 in the surrounding commercial farming areas.

"That would be best. After all, looks can be decieving." Aizawa said.

When a poor attempt at humor is made verbally within human hearing range of SCP-504's tomatoes, they instantly accelerate to a speed of at least 100 miles per hour (approx. 160 kilometers per hour, 45 meters per second) in the direction of the sound's source.

"What?! Aw c'mon, who doesn't like jokes?" Ms. Joke asked. "Me and some people in this room who have no sense of humour." Aizawa simply replied which made her pout.

Only mature tomatoes, separated from their vines and less than 10% rotted or chemically compromised, exhibit this effect once each. Tomatoes do not have to be physically intact, though ingested tomatoes are usually insulated enough from sound to prevent their effects before neutralization by stomach acid.

"So only intact or fully grown tomatoes can have an anomalous effect." Midoriya said as he joted down on his notebook.

SCP-504 tomatoes seem to reach speeds relative to the inciting attempt at humor (see experiment log). Relevant variables seem to include corniness, humor-to-length ratio, and use of puns. Language appears irrelevant.

Ms. Joke is slowly starting to dislike this SCP, much to Aizawa's amusement. "So it has a taste in humor." Midoriya said to himself while writing it down.

Note: Whoever snuck SCP-504 into the cafeteria kitchen is getting terminated. Those tomato slices are like fucking shurikens.- Dr. Blast

Some chuckled to that. "Oh man, heh honestly that's sounds painful." Denki said.

Log of tests with SCP-504:

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: D-504-1

Spoken: "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamous?"

"..." The audience was silent, not even a snicker. "Uh... I don't get it." Denki said not getting the joke. "Same here." Ms. Joke said, unimpressed.

Result: No change in velocity.

"Oh." Denki said.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: D-504-1

Spoken: "What's an archeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."

Slight snickers from some of the audience, mainly Denki, Sero, Kosei, Manga, and Ms. Joke.

Result:Tomato clocked at 124 mph. Subject suffered a broken nose.

Notes:It appears that SCP-504 has a certain "taste" in jokes. This might indicate sapience. I hope not.- Dr. Blast

Some of the audience were now wondering how it reacts to other jokes.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: D-504-2

Spoken:"Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up."

"Hehe, 'catch up'" Denki said to himself chuckling. But then out of nowhere, a tomato hit him in the head. "Hey! Who threw that?!" He asked while rubbing his forehead only to find a turret which he could describe as a 'tomato cannon' pointing at him. "Say another joke or the next one will hurt even more." Zero said to which Denki hastily nodded.

Result: Tomato clocked at 264 mph. Subject rendered unconscious.

"So the worse the jokes get the speed increases even more." Iida said.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: D-504-3

Spoken: "So, I was going to bed, and my brother told me, 'Goodnight! Don't let the bedbugs stick their proboscis in your skin and suck your blood!'" *pause* "Good luck on a healthy dermis!"

"Well that's messed up." Ms.Joke said, disgusted at the pun with others agreeing with her.

Result: Two-second pause before activity. Tomato clocked at [REDACTED]. Sound barrier broken. Subject killed.

"Damn... he just got obliterated." Sero said, shocked at the what transpired. "Welp, lesson learned, don't fuck with the tomatoes." Denki said.

Item: Three mature SCP-504 tomatoes, each from a different crossbreed

Subject: D-504-4

Spoken: "If you have dentures, don't use artificial sweetener, cause you'll get a fake cavity."

"What?" Sero asked. "Exactly." Denki simply replied which confused him a bit but shrugged it off.

Result: All three tomatoes clocked at exactly 145 mph. Subject injured, two teeth dislodged.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt." Sen said as he and some others cringed.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato, split into quarters

Subject: D-504-5

Spoken: "I tried to walk into Target, but I missed."

Cue chuckles from some of the audience.

Result: All 4 pieces clocked at 212 mph. Subject severely injured, right eye destroyed by piece of tomato.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: CD player playing "Harmful If Swallowed" (2003, Dane Cook)

Result: At [REDACTED, tomato clocked 167 mph. CD player destroyed.

Notes: It works with recordings? Dammit. Didn't even have to deal with Class-Ds in the first place.- Dr. Blast

"So not just through verbal but through video and audio as well." Midoriya said.

Item: Three mature SCP-504 tomatoes, one for each test subject.

Subject: After the introduction to the following news item, Bomb blows hole in Lenin statue, the three following jokes were made.

Test Subject 1: Ooh, that's gonna leave a Marx.

Result: Tomato number one 'twitched', but did not displace from its original location.

Test Subject 2: BBC is just Stalin the good news.

Result: Tomato clocked at 152 mph. Chipped tooth and hairline jaw fracture.

Test Subject 3:That blows.

Result: Tomato clocked at [REDACTED]. Subject is hospitalized with a massive skull fracture.

Some flinched a little at the last one.

Notes: I thought we'd just established that recordings work in place of live subjects! I know how much you guys hate the Class-Ds, especially D-504-012 (poor guy might not even recover before termination rolls around), but I'm making it clear that whoever oversaw this round of testing is getting a serious reprimand. The same goes for whoever leaked its video logs to the staff.- Dr. Blast

"Hey, I was wondering, what're Class-D?" Midoriya asked Zero. "They're people used as test subjects while researching the SCPs." The audience were shocked. "But isn't that inhumane?!" Iida asked. "Yes, however we mostly get them from prisons as these people are imprisoned for many crimes." Zero explained. "Bu-" Iida was about to say something but Zero cuts him off. "Look, I know our methods in the Foundation are... 'questionable', but our world's laws are different to yours. We've had lots of casualties throughout the organization's history as many of us have given our lives to protecting humanity from the unknown and we've made sure that not we are not revealed to the public to prevent panic across the world. As many of us once said, 'We die in the darkness so that humanity can live in the light'." Everyone couldn't say a wordbut they couldn't argue about since he's right. Sometimes in order to save a life we have to take one.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: Television playing the SNL Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton skit.

Result: Tomato reacted as if 'confused': slow-motion video shows three separate bursts of speeds in excess of 200 mph, two incidences of motion at normal throwing speeds, and one unprecedented instance of backward motion, all in the one trajectory. Dr. King hypothesises that the tomato was unsure whether or not to 'take it seriously'.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: A portable computer playing a pre-recorded engineering joke.

Transcript: "2009 is going to be a complex year. We already know the real part; we still have to find the imaginary part".

"I don't get it." Kirishima said. "Does anyone get that?" Mina shrugged. "Beats me."

Result: Supersonic blast detected; computer was completely vaporized by the tomato's kinetic energy. Sensor readings indicate an approximate speed of 3500km/h (2174 mph).

"Woah... at least it wasn't a person that was hit by that." Jirou said, startled at the results.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: A portable computer playing a partial audio recording of the Monty Python sketch "The Funniest Joke in the World".

"Hey! Monty Python I love that old movie." Toru said happily. "Me too!" Denki joined in.

Transcript: "Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"

...

"What?" Mina broke the silence.

Result: Tomato explodes. Debris clocked at 137 mph. Computer heavily coated by debris. Keyboard ruined by exposure to liquid matter - all other components proved functional after cleanup.

"Woah! I did not expect that!" Mineta. While the audience was shocked at the fact an anomalous tomato did that, a certain 'dunce face' had one thought about it. 'Hehe, tomato bomb.' Denki thought in his head as he chuckled at it.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato

Subject: A portable computer playing the text of SCP-904

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Midoriya noted the SCP mentioned above in case if they ever go to that one. "That will be all for this SCP." Zero said indicating that it's the end of the file.


And that's a wrap! Thanks for reading this chapter. Make sure to do the usual: Follow, Favorite, Review (or what I like to call it, FFR).

IMPORTANT

Also I have a question for you all, which MHA characters should I invite to react to the SCPs? You decide in the reviews.

That's all folks! I'll see you in the next chapter.