When I woke up from my nap, I quickly got to work on dinner. My mom was pulling a double shift so it was just me and my dad. I threw together a macaroni and cheese casserole. Gluten free of course.

I brought my father a plate to his bed and we sit beside each other to eat. He was having an especially bad day and was just more comfortable there.

"So how's school been lately Rubes? I haven't heard you talk about Otis for awhile", My dad brings up.

"Well that's because we're not really seeing each other anymore dad, remember?", I remind him.

"I know that… I just think you should give him a second chance", He insists.

I didn't give my dad all the details of when Otis couldn't say he loved me back. It was too painful, and embarrassing. So he didn't understand the position I was in.

"Well I don't think he wants a second chance dad", I sigh.

"I'm sure he would, even just to be friends. I think you should invite him over again", Dad suggests.

I snicker slightly and then groan.

"Alright dad. It's probably not going to happen though", I say quietly.

"I just want to see you happy sweetie. I don't always know how much time I'm going to have to see you have that special someone in your life…"

"Dad don't talk like that", I say immediately. "It's going to be fine. Besides I don't think I'm going to get married anyway, so they'll be no walking me down the aisle or father daughter dancing or any of that nonsense".

My father laughs.

"Alright Rubes", He smiles. "But I want you to find someone… I don't want you to be alone. I want you to have a partner, a family".

"I'm not alone", I say confidently, although it's the complete opposite of what I'm feeling at the current moment.

He nods and we drop the subject, preferring to talk about my father's online poker league he can play from his laptop.

It made me sad he couldn't be who he used to be. Couldn't work his day job. Couldn't go for a walk on a Sunday morning, or water the flowers outside. But being sad about it is what led me to Otis in the first place. Which was a mistake, wasn't it?

I clean up our plates and go back to my room to work on some homework. Eventually I got tired enough, I went to bed. I think I remember my mom coming in at some point to say goodnight to me before I was fully passed out.


It was now Thursday, and only 24 hours until I could forget about this whole thing completely.

I'm already late for school as I woke up and barfed in the washroom, hoping my parents wouldn't hear me, as I kept the water running.

"Fuck", I mutter as I sit against the bathroom wall feeling like utter crap. "Damn you Otis Milburn!"

Another wave of nausea hits me and I hurl again.

I try to put myself together, the way I try to every morning. An amazingly coordinated, perfect outfit. But I end up just grabbing a basic black dresse and my beige heels, put on a necklace and call it a day. I felt too sick to coordinate with whatever Olivia and Anwar were planning to wear today.

I rush out the front door.

"Ruby you haven't eaten anything", My mom stops me. "Here at least have a granola bar".

I grab it from her.

"Thanks mom", I smile at her before leaving out the front door, throwing the bar in my purse even though the last thing I want to do is eat.

I then see my pregnancy test in there as I walk to my car.

Shit, I meant to take that out and hide it in my room somewhere.

I check the time, it's too late to go back so I just rustle it down to the bottom of my purse and climb into my car and am on my way to school.

When I finally get to school, most people are already making their way in so I walk quickly into the building when I finally see Anwar.

"What the hell are you wearing? Are you going to a funeral?", Anwar looks at me as though I've just slapped a baby.

"Only my own. I'm not feeling that great, Anwar", I put my sunglasses on. "I've just been out of it lately, that's all".

He seems to soften a bit.

"It's okay Rubes. But let's get going, we're going to be late", He says and I smile slightly as we make our way to our first class.

We walk into Mr. Hendricks class. Adam's dad Mr. Groff had hired both Mr. Hendricks and Ms. Sands, along with other teachers of ours at Moordale to come work at our new school.

"Ruby and Anwar, a little bit late but we'll let it slide, take a seat", Mr. Hendricks says in his sing songy way. "Today we're learning about the reproductive system, very very interesting stuff!"

Shit. Exactly not what I wanted to hear about today.

But even worse there's only two seats left.

One beside Kyle (gross) and one beside someone who wasn't really my favorite person right now; Otis.

I go to the left to sit beside Kyle but Anwar already makes his way over there first so I quickly shuffle to the right and sit beside Otis, putting my bag on the floor beside me as I sit down.

"Hey Ruby", He whispers over to me as Mr. Hendricks gets his lesson set up on the projector.

"Hey", I smile, and then go back to pulling out my books and acting like I'm really interested in taking notes. Otis probably can see through it but I don't care.

"So let's talk about the reproductive system!", Mr. Hendricks starts. "Fun, fun, fun! And this is not SRE class, it's pure science. Ever wonder how you were born?"

The class is silent with yawns and slight groans.

"Of course you do!", Mr. Hendricks says excitedly, going to the board to start drawing. "Here is Mr. Sperm right here".

I cringe slightly, along with others who start to slump in their seats.

"And here is Mrs. Egg!", Mr. Hendricks seems to get a kick out of his drawings. "And then at the centre of it all is the uterus!"

I look over to Otis quickly, not to let him know I'm looking, and see him sitting straight up seeming to be quite interested in the lesson. Or at least pretending to be. But Otis liked this stuff.

"Now when the uterus owner is ovulating the egg drops, and when the man and woman have intercourse or the sperm is injected inside a female hoping to get pregnant, the egg and the sperm meet", Mr. Hendricks starts drawing lines. "And there we go! Sperm latches on to the egg and the process of reproduction starts".

I suppose I must have been ovulating the time that we conceived, I usually tried to keep track of that stuff, but I thought we were covered because we always used condoms. I mean, after the first morning after pill debacle it kinda freaked me, and probably Otis too, out. But I guess condoms weren't 100% effective. And of course I'm in the 3% where they're defective.

"Now the sperm and the egg latch onto the uterine wall, and this is where the cells start to form and grow along with the nutrients from the lining of the uterus", Mr. Hendricks explains. "And there you go students… that is the beautiful gift of life".

Yeah, so beautiful.

"Now I want you to complete this worksheet with the person beside you. Just a basic labelling of the reproductive system. You will be graded on this at the end of the semester, so try to memorize and learn with your peers".

Mr. Hendricks passes around sheets for us.

Great, labelling a uterus model about how babies are made with Otis is about the last thing I wanted to do.

"Okay well you're good at this type of thing, right?", I sigh, looking at Otis.

He laughs slightly.

"This the the egg right?", I ask pointing to a small dot.

"No that would be the sperm I think, this is the uterine lining", Otis starts to label them.

"It's kind of creepy how you know this stuff Milburn", I say, unable to stop joking with him like I'm used to.

"I guess so", Otis laughs looking at me. "Just seen thousands of diagrams I suppose".

"Well we're done then", I say with sigh, leaning down in my seat.

"C'mon class! It's not that hard, Ruby and Otis have done it", Mr. Hendricks gestures to us.

"Yeah because it's sex kid and the girl he's been shagging", Kyle sneers and the room breaks out into snickers.

"Kyle on your last test you labelled the penis as a lung so I would spend time reading your textbook rather than into silly rumours okay, let's get back to work", Mr. Hendricks says as Kyle seems to pick out a booger in the back of the class.

I laugh slightly.

"How've you been? Okay?", Otis brings my mind back to him.

"You don't have to act like you care Otis", I say, but I don't want to be cruel to him, truly.

"Sorry I-", He starts.

"No I'm sorry… I want to be friends. I do", I say.

"I'd like that. I… I miss you Rubes. I can't always understand it but I miss doing this with you", He says, his blue eyes shining into mine.

"You just miss having sex with me", I joke slightly with him, trying to build a wall and forget what he'd said about missing me. I'm not getting hurt again. I can't. Not when I'm already going through something this hard.

"You know that's not true", Otis says softly. "I just miss seeing you… you know Eric does too. We had a really good time when we went bowling that day, remember?"

Thinking of that day, a day I think about often, makes me smile, even though I don't necessarily want Otis to see that so I look down to my lap.

"I had a good time too", I look up and meet his eyes.

"So we hangout sometime then… doesn't have to be awkward or dramatic… ", Otis proposes.

It had been a month now, longer even. I'd healed a bit from what happened with Otis, but not completely. But I couldn't think about this now, I had more important things on my mind. And knowing something half Otis and half me was growing in me as we speak was too much.

"Yeah… maybe we could… sometime I suppose", I try to stay emotionless, act like I don't care. When in fact it was completely the obvious.

Me and Otis sit contently for a while before the bell rings.

As we start to pack up I catch a look from Adam out of the corner of my eye.

Me and Otis say goodbye and we walk out of the class with the rest of our peers.

"Matthews!", I hear and whir around to see a tall figure standing still in the hall.

He walks over to me.

"You're unable to come tomorrow now right?", I ask Adam, expecting the worst, for him to cancel on me.

"No, no. I'll be there Ruby. That's not why I wanted to talk to you", Adam says in a hushed tone and I give him a questioning look before he continues. "I just think you should go with Otis".

I roll my eyes slightly.

"Adam", I groan.

"He'd want to know and he'd be supportive. He's better in crisis situations than me", Adam says.

"He doesn't have to know Adam… it would just make things too complicated. Besides I don't need support, it's not going to be difficult Adam. They're just going to get the damn thing out and that's it, end of story", I assert, strongly.

"Alright", Adam nods and admits defeat. "I'll text you tomorrow morning then".

I nod as Adam turns to walk away.

"Adam!", I stop him. There's some people in the hall probably staring at us but I don't care.

He turns around.

"Thank you", I say quickly. "For all of this. For skipping class with me tomorrow… I wouldn't be able to get it done without you, so… thank you".

It takes a lot to show Adam that I'm anything but an ice queen, but I'm trying to work on it. Being with Otis always made me want to work on it.

My hand goes to my stomach for a moment before I curse myself in my head.

What the fuck are you doing Ruby?

I put it out of my mind and walk to my next class.

You're getting an abortion. It's just a small glob of cells.