The rest of the day I try to keep my head down. My next class is phys ed which is usually my favorite since I usually just talk to Olivia most of the time and hang around on the field instead of actually running. Fake period cramps come in handy almost every month even though I can tell Mrs. Figgins probably knows I'm faking it.

"What's up Rubes?", Olivia comes over to me as we walk into the girls changeroom. "You didn't even text me this morning about what outfit you were going to wear!"

"Yeah…", I shake my head. "Sorry I just woke up super late, had to pull something together quickly".

I pull out my gym clothes from my phys ed locker.

Olivia pauses and looks at me.

"What?", I ask, annoyed slightly.

"You're not still hung up on Otis, are you? I mean seriously, of all the guys you could of been in love with Ruby", Olivia says quietly so the rest of the girls don't hear.

"C'mon Olivia… you fell in love with a 15 year old… plus I don't know, he's different from most of the guys here. Anyways it doesn't matter because contrary to your belief, I'm totally over him. So no need to worry", I say with a small smile as I pull my pink t shirt over my head, throw my purse in my gym locker, causing the contents to spill out in my nervous attempt to dodge Olivia's questions.

Whatever, I'll just close it and deal with it later, I think.

"Alright", Olivia nods and we lock arms to go out onto the field.

Aimee, Lily and Ola stand beside us.

"Where the hell is Mrs. Figgins?", Ola asks.

It had been fifteen minutes since class had supposed to start.

"I don't know, but in a couple minutes I'm just going to take her absence as a get out of jail free card", I sigh.

I had much bigger things to worry up, like looking up exactly what will happen at the abortion tomorrow and any possible side effects. It still made me nervous.

"Oh. My. God!", We turn around to see Viv walk out onto the field. "You guys will not guess what I just found in the girls changeroom!"

"What?", Lily and Ola chime in.

"A pregnancy test! And it's positive too", Viv says. "Poor girl".

Shit. I should've checked that my locker was shut.

"It's got to be one of us doesn't it? Man, this just made my Monday not so lame", Olivia chews her gum loudly and pulls out her phone.

"What are you doing?", I ask quietly, anxious.

"Texting Anwar. This is like the biggest scandal we've had the whole year", Olivia states.

Fuck, knowing Anwar this will get around the whole school.

"What you you ladies doing?", I hear Ms. Sands voice.

"Mrs. Figgins isn't here yet so we're just waiting", Ola says trying to cover up what we're talking about.

"What's that in your hand Viv?", Ms. Sands asks suspiciously. "Is that—"

Ms. Sands sighs deeply and Viv doesn't even have to say anything.

"Let's go back inside, into my classroom", Ms. Sands says seriously, so we follow her lead going back into the school.

My heart pounds out of my chest.

Once there we all take a seat awkwardly.

"If one of you girls is going through this then it's very serious, and… and I'm here to help. All of us here are", Ms. Sands says in a kind tone.

"Ms. Sands it might not have even been from our class. I just found it on the floor by the lockers, who knows how long it was there", Viv says.

Good, I think. Make them think it's not from our class.

"The change rooms are cleaned every Monday over the lunch break", Ms. Sands points out. "Obviously none of you probably feel comfortable talking about this in a group setting but I want to let whoever's this is know that I am here to talk to. Whenever, and no one has to know. If you need guidance, resources, whatever… I'm here".

Part of me wants to spill my soul to her. It's a lot keeping this in and I'd only told Adam who was a man of very few words. I wanted to to hug Ms. Sands and tell her about every thought I've had since I saw that plus sign. But alas, there's no way I can do that and still be Ruby Matthews.

"Ms. Sands if there's nothing else, can we go? This doesn't really concern me", I say coldly. I know I sound bitchy, but I just had to get out of this situation.

"Yes girls, you are dismissed for the day. But I want you to think about what I said", Ms. Sands sighs and we all get up to leave.

Thank god.


I'm happy to get home early. It gives me some extra time to relax. Plus I felt sick pretty much most of the day, I don't even know why they bother calling it morning sickness. All I wanted to do was look up what was going to be done tomorrow and then get a good night's sleep.

"Hey Roo, how was your day?", My dad asks when I go into his room to say hello.

"It was alright. Pretty boring, really nothing much happened", I shrug. "I've got a lot of schoolwork to do".

"Okay see you later".

I feel bad lying to him, I really do. But he sees me as so much better than I really am. I don't want to be a daughter that's just a pregnant, broke, boyfriendless disappointment.

I sit on my bed and get my computer out when I get a text.

Anwar: Can you believe the pregnancy test thing? I bet it's Aimee, she really looks like she's put on a few.

I roll my eyes and put my phone down, not wanting to engage.

It buzzes again.

"Dammit Anwar", I mutter to myself, but see a different name pop up on the screen.

Otis: Hey Ruby, can I call you?

I think for a moment and then reply.

Ruby: Yeah… sure. I'm just in my room.

I answer the phone when it rings.

"Hey", I hear his voice, once so familiar, so comforting. Still comforting in some ways.

"Hi. What do I owe the pleasure?", I joke.

I can feel his smirk through the phone, but then his voice goes back to seriousness.

"Ruby… I don't want you to feel attacked or get mad or anything. And I just want you to be honest…. You're not pregnant right?", he stumbles over his words anxiously.

"What the fuck Otis? You called me to ask if I'm pregnant?", I lower my voice so my dad doesn't hear.

"I'm sorry, I know. I just…. I heard about the pregnancy test thing", He says.

"You are beyond neurotic. No I'm not okay?", I say seriously.

I hear his sigh of relief over the phone.

"Okay thanks. It's just… because… because there was that one time, remember?", Otis says quietly and I pause for a moment.

I remembered the night well. My mom and dad were out at one of my dad's appointments, stuck in traffic on the way home, his appointment all the way up in a different town. It was right before I'd told him I loved him, although I feel like I already knew deep down. We used a condom of course and I'd even just picked up a package of birth control pills from the chemist I was gonna start because I thought this was going to be a long term thing. We'd wondered if the condom split after, but had come to the consensus that it was just the new brand we were using. Stupid Otis, and stupid useless condoms that don't work.

"Yeah I remember but I'm not pregnant so it doesn't matter. So….", I inhale sharply as I feel tears spring to my eyes. "So there's no reason for you to contact me again".

"Ruby…", I hear him sigh through the phone.

"Goodbye Otis, have a good night", I say quickly so he doesn't hear the crack in my voice and hang up.

I lay down on my bed, hearing the bed spring coil as my weight hits it. I breathe in deeply.

My mind wandered to what Adam had told me earlier today… that Otis would want to be there tomorrow for the procedure, that he was a good guy. That was the worst thing about Otis breaking up with me. I'd dated some pretty horrible guys, so while it hurt I knew deep down that they were just high school douchebags that weren't worth my time. But with Otis… he was a good guy. So the problem was me then?

And I didn't want his pity. It would hurt too bad.


I spent the rest of the night researching what happens when you get an abortion. Maybe not the right choice to look at stuff ten hours before I'm going because it left me nervous about the procedure.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because I wake up with my laptop beside me, my hair a floppy mess and my makeup still on.

I pull out my phone to see a text from Adam.

Adam: Still on for today?

I text back.

Ruby: Yeah, see you there at 10?

Adam: Sounds good.

Thank god for Adam. I never thought Adam Groff would be my saving grace, he'd always been kind of weird, and not the type of person I would ever be seen with. Yet here he is skipping school to be my support person, as the abortion clinic calls it. Stupid that I couldn't just go alone.

I get up and get in the shower trying to focus on anything other than the impending doom that awaits me.

Who cares Ruby? It's just like getting a tooth pulled out or something. It's a medical procedure.

I start to shampoo my hair.

No one would blame you. I mean who wants to have a baby at seventeen? Especially when you're not even talking to the father.

I keep getting ready, thoughts invading my mind. The only thing I used to really worry about before school was whether my hair looked silky enough or whether my outfit showed enough cleavage.

My parents were going to one of my dad's appointments today so they left as I was putting my makeup on.

"Have a good day at school sweetheart!", My mother had cooed to me with a kiss on my head.

If she only knew.

As she leaned down to kiss me I inhaled some of her perfume, causing my stomach to flip. I kept it together, waiting until they were gone before I violently threw up into the toilet, my throat hurting as I retched.

I was pretty sure my parents still thought I was a virgin. Yet here I was, Otis's damned kid making me unable to keep down anything.

Despite my ill feeling I went downstairs and tried to down some saltines.

As it neared 9:30, I put my stuff in my car and went on my way to the clinic.

When I got there I sat in the car for quite a while, anxiously checking my phone.

Did I really want to do this? Oh god.

I'd been so sure the days leading up to it. But here I was in my car, shaking. Not only because I felt sick, but also because I was anxious. Anxious that this was all wrong.

I looked down at my totally flat stomach as my mind started to wander to a bump, and to sonograms, to Otis painting the nursery while I picked out baby names I liked, to a little girl I could dress up, or a little boy that would look just like his dad.

Suddenly something interrupted my thoughts and I jumped in my car seat.

It was Adam outside my window. I roll it down quickly.

"Adam what the fuck! You scared me", I say in a huff, gathering my purse beside me and fixing my hair.

"Sorry", He looks at me blankly. "It's just you're gonna be late, it's ten o'clock right now. What are you doing in here?"

Of course Adam, being blunt as per usual.

"Nothing, just….", I fumble in my bag trying to come up with an excuse. "Just reapplying my lipstick".

"I'm pretty sure you don't need lipstick in there but alright", Adam shrugs stepping away from the car. "I'm gonna wait out here, it's nice today, how long do you think you'll be?"

"I don't know… like an hour probably, the procedure is quick but they want to monitor you after", I say quickly and mindlessly as my thoughts run over and over in my mind about whether to do this or not. Adam nods and pauses for a moment.

"Why aren't you getting out of your car?", Adam questions.

"I'm just… I'm just worried I guess", I say finally, a single tear rolling down my eye and I pray Adam doesn't see.

Adam pauses for a moment as he stands and I sit in silence.

"Well you don't have to get it done today right? Do you want to think about it more?", Adam suggests quietly.

"I-", I sigh and then put my hands on my temples. "God this is so stupid, I don't want a baby".

"I know", Adam nods. "But maybe you don't want to do this either? Or aren't ready to yet?"

The tears start to come down harder.

"It's still really early… I guess I could come back?", I say, my voice threatening to crack as the tears come down my eyes.

"Ruby?", Adam says slowly, treacherously.

"Yeah?", I question, my body quietly racking with tear induced shakes.

"I don't really know how to do this…", Adam starts. "And even though I've never gotten along with him that well the one person I can think of that would be good at this is the one person you say you can't talk to".

We lock eyes for a moment.

"But maybe you should talk to him. If not as the father then…. then as a friend…", Adam finishes off his though, this moment being the most intellectual I've seen him.

"Yeah", I say finally. "Okay".

"So you wanna go home then?", Adam asks.

"I want to go to Otis", I say looking down to my lap as my fingers fidget with one another. "But he's not going to be around until 3:00 when schools over so…"

I honestly don't know where I'm going to go. Home where I'm alone and my thoughts are left to takeover? Or school, where everyone will be talking about the positive pregnancy test they found yesterday?

"Want to go get some food?", Adam suggests out of no where.

I think for a moment, embarrassed and humiliated at the way I'm letting Adam Groff of all people see me. But despite the blow to my dignity I can't help but take his offer to get away from everything.

"Okay…", I agree, wiping my tears and pulling myself together. "But somewhere that at least has something gluten free".

Adam chuckles for a moment.

"Well at least you can always have water if all else fails right?", Adam questions seriously.

I roll my eyes, but nonetheless get out of my car and into his.