Chapter 19

A week passed before Maddie started feeling more like her old self again, her injuries she sustained from her encounter with Clint West, and then the added ones from her father slowly starting to heal. Mentally though, she was still in a tailspin. Not only had what Clint told her about her father had shook her to her core, what she had found in his room... What she had seen kept her awake at night, trying to figure out what she should do about it. Her conscience told her what her father was doing was wrong but her heart was convincing her mind that perhaps, it was nothing to worry about. Since she hadn't actually seen him with the drugs in his hand, perhaps they didn't even belong to him. It was a long shot but it helped dull her conscience for the choice that she had made. That she wouldn't talk to the authorities.

Besides, she didn't have much of a choice. If she told the police and her father was arrested and charged then sent to jail, she would be sent back to a foster home. She didn't want to go through all that again and she wanted to stay with her father so her mind kept pushing her conscience aside.

Since things with Clint, her father had left her alone. Even though they lived in the house together, she hadn't spoken to him since that night. He hadn't spoken to her either. He was hardly at home anyway and being alone once more, she had to deal with the thoughts and demons in her mind.

In her mind, she kept reliving the events of that day, kept seeing them playing out over and over in her thoughts. Every waking hour they haunted her and in her dreams it was her nightmare. It only made it worse too that she hadn't any support from her father, sometimes in those dreams it was her fathers hand that pulled the trigger. The reality of the nightmares had been twisted, sometimes it was she that had been killed, sometimes it was someone else but each time it had been her father she saw that was behind the pistol.

And so, alone, with the only thing to comfort her being her kitten, Maddie was fighting a losing battle with her mind and her emotions. The only way she knew how to deal with how she felt was by the blade and blood had been drawn every day. Some days it was only a small scratch or two but other times she just kept cutting, trying to take away the memories, the pain and the hurt inside.

Throughout the week Bonham had been in touch with her regularly, sending her a text message or two to check on how she was getting along. She had also had a brief conversation with August over the phone and exchanged a few messages with Abeline, Cordell and Stella but through it all she felt like an outsider. They had each other to rely on, to hold to and all she had was a three month old kitten. Her father didn't care but then again, had he ever really cared about her?

The days kept slowly slipping by, Maddie politely declining the invitation to attend Hoyt's funeral. She wasn't in any shape to go even if she wanted to, the teenager having hardly looked after herself at all during that time. Dark circles were beneath her eyes, a testament to the fact she hadn't slept in over a week. Her hair hadn't been washed for the same length of time, her shoulders having been too sore to be able to withstand that movement. Her clothes were starting to hang limply off her as she had lost weight since she hadn't been eating. When she looked in the mirror, she hated what she saw. It was like looking into the eyes of a ghost. She was haunted. Troubled. Tired.

And her father didn't care.


'How about you and I go see Liam today, hey? What do you think?' Maddie questioned, Bubbles purring loudly as she rubbed against her cheek. 'I think we need to get out of the house for a while, can't stay hidden forever...'

Two weeks had passed now and slowly, she felt as if she were getting back on top of things. For the last two days she had actually been able to sleep and felt so much better for it. The day before she had even managed to wash her hair and now she felt like a new person. She had also spoken with August, having sent a message to check in with them all and he had said his uncle would appreciate a visit. After two weeks, she decided that it was time she went back. Not only had she missed seeing them, she missed her mare too.

And so, she found herself putting on her make up and doing up her hair, gathering her things together before she headed to the door. Bubbles bounded after her, the kitten having taken well to being on a leash and so she decided it would be a good day to walk. The thought of riding the bicycle had come briefly through her mind but with the way she was still sore, she had decided that walking was the better choice.

Won't be home till tomorrow night. Behave. The note her father had left on the kitchen table that morning had said. No 'I love yous' or 'Look after yourself' just; 'behave'. When she had found that note, the feelings she had been doing her best not to let take over her again had slowly raised their head. No, she couldn't feel that way about him. He was her father. Those feelings were wrong.

With her kitten's carrier slung over her back to put her in when she got too tired of walking, they set out into the morning. Some flowers in the gardens had blossomed and as Bubbles had her run around the backyard, she picked some to make a bouquet for Liam and one for Abeline before heading to the Walkers property.

Finally arriving at the ranch after a long walk, the first thing she did was go search for Skylar. The mare was out grazing beneath a tree in the pasture as she came to the fence, the teen placing her fingers in her lips before letting out a shrill whistle. Skylar's head raised, the mare trotting to her a moment later. She smiled as she stopped at the fence, the mare nudging her as she whined softly. 'Hey, hey darlin. I've missed you-' Maddie murmured softly, rubbing the mare's face. 'Did you miss me? You've been a good girl?'

'Thought that was you out here whistling.' Bonham remarked as he stepped from the barn, joining the girl at the fence. 'This one here was wondering when you'd show up, she's been here at the gate looking for you.'

'Oh, have you?' Maddie placed a kiss on the mare's soft muzzle, Skylar nibbling at her hair and she laughed softly as she pushed her away. 'It's not food sweetheart.'

'Here-' He chuckled, pulling a carrot from his back pocket. 'Give her this.'

'Ah, look what I have here. You want it? You want it?' She teased, just holding it out of the mare's reach. After a moment she gave it to her, the mare eating the carrot with gusto. 'There you go, greedy guts.' She turned to Bonham as Skylar finished her snack. 'How has she been?'

'She's been good, Stella and August have been helping look after her.'

'Are they here? I should have thought to message first but it completely slipped my mind.'

'You just missed them, they left with Cordell and Geri to go take care of a few things. Probably won't be back till tomorrow sometime. Abeline is up at the house though, I know she'll be happy to see you.'

'And Liam? Would he be up for a visitor?'

'I'm sure he'd appreciate the company, he's driving us mad with him still being stuck on bed rest.'

She chuckled softly. 'I can imagine.'

'What about you though?' Her black eye she had tried to hide with makeup hadn't escaped his notice, nor the fact that she was still moving as if she were quite stiff and sore. 'How are you doing?'

'I'm doing alright, still got a few bruises here and there but I'm feeling a lot better.'

'That's good to hear. Your father been taking good care of you?'

'He has but he got a job last week and so he's been working since.'

'Oh? What kind of job?'

'Delivery driver for a shipping company. I don't remember the name of it.'

'That's good.'

'Enough about me though.' Skylar wandered back to the herd to graze, Maddie watching her for a moment before turning back to Bonham. 'How have things been here? I'm sorry I haven't been able to help out-'

'You stop right there, there's no need for apologizing. You got yourself pretty knocked up, you needed the time to rest.' He replied as they started up the walk to the house. 'We've been getting along just fine. Stella and August will be going back to school next week, things are starting to get back to normal.'

'And the ranch? What about those cattle that went missing?'

Boham sighed. 'Couldn't find them anywhere on the ranch, only other possible explanation is that they've been stolen. The authorities have been notified, so far they haven't been able to find anything. Cordell would look into it but he's taken an indefinite leave of absence from the Rangers. No more have gone missing though since I changed all the locks on the gates, I'll need to give you keys for the ones you use if you want to take Skylar home.'

'I'm sure they'll turn up.'

'Hopefully.' He didn't sound convinced as he opened the front door for her, letting her walk in ahead of him. 'Abby, guess who's come to drop in.'

Abeline left what she was doing in the kitchen to see who had come to visit, her face lighting up when she saw Maddie. 'Maddie girl, oh it's good to see you.'

Maddie chuckled, returning the embrace the woman gave her. 'Hey.'

'Hey yourself.' She gave the girl a kiss on the head then the teen stepped back and she looked her up and down. She looked like she'd lost quite a bit of weight. 'Your father not feeding you enough Maddie? I've just put some of those sticky buns you like so much in the oven, you'll stay to have some, right?'

The girl nodded with a smile. 'Dad's away overnight, so I can stay over here as long as I like. You don't mind me coming to crash the party since the grandkids are gone, do you?'

Bonham placed his hand on the girl's shoulder. 'You are always welcome here Maddie girl, you know that. I'll let you two catch up, I've got some things to do outside.'

'Have you had breakfast?' Abeline questioned, Bonham heading out the front door again. 'I can cook you up something-'

'Abeline.' Maddie chuckled. 'I have eaten breakfast, yes. There's no need to make such a fuss, okay? I know you've been busy looking after Liam, I don't want to add to your workload. Speaking of Liam, I bought these over for him.' She pulled the bouquet from the side pocket of her cat carrier. 'I know he's a guy, but I wanted to bring something over. And these ones-' She had a smaller bouquet of roses on the other side of the carrier that she handed to her. 'These ones are for you. I'm sorry there aren't more, my rose bushes are still getting over that storm we had. They are the first blossoms though.'

Abeline took them with a smile, breathing in their sweet scent. 'Oh Maddie, these are beautiful...' She looked over at her then gave her another hug. 'You are so sweet.'

'I'm glad you like them.'

'I do, thank you Maddie. Tell you what, we'll go put these in some water then I'll find my flower pressing kit and we'll do a couple of these.'

'Flower pressing?' She questioned as she followed her into the kitchen.

'You haven't done flower pressing before?'

Maddie shook her head. 'Nope. Is that where you can dry flowers to preserve them?'

'Yes, that's right.' She found a couple vases and filled them with a little water before putting them on the bench. 'You put some flowers on paper then press them between heavy books or a proper flower press if you have one. After a couple weeks, the flowers dry out then you can use them on cards and such. I used to do it with Stella all the time when she was little.'

'And you can press any kind of flowers?'

'Almost, you do have to make sure they aren't too big otherwise they won't dry properly. Why don't you choose a flower you like best, I've got two flower presses so you can do one too if you like.'

She ginned. 'I think that's a great idea.'

'Alright, now I just have to remember where I put them...'

Maddie giggled softly as Abeline left the room and took her backpack off, letting Bubbles out on her harness. The kitten amused herself with a rose petal as she looked over the flowers then chose a soft pink rose to press.

'Found them.' Abeline said as she returned, placing the boards on the table. 'You chose a flower?'

'Mmmhmm, yes ma'am.'

She glanced over at the one Maddie had chosen. 'Pink roses your favorite?'

Maddie shook her head. 'Mama's.'

'What's your favorite?'

'Wildflowers.' She shrugged. 'I don't know. Yours?'

'White roses and daisies.' Abeline pulled a small white rose from the bouquet and placed it aside then unscrewed her press. Maddie followed what she was doing, laying a piece of paper down on the wood then arranged the flower the way she wanted it preserved.

'Like this?'

'Anyway you want it. There's no right or wrong way, just however you like it. When you're done-' She had finished and laid another couple of pieces of paper on top before placing the top board on and screwing the press back together. 'More paper on top then screw it back together and your done.'

'That's all?'

'Well that, and patience.'

Maddie giggled. 'I've been told I don't have much of that.'

'I wonder by whom.' Abeline smiled. It was a known fact that Maddie could be a touch impatient, especially with herself when she was trying to learn something new. 'How are you and your father getting along?'

'We're doing just fine, Dad got a new job so he's been pretty busy.' She had finished also, tightening up the screws like she had seen Abeline do. 'And well, I've just been... processing... everything, I guess...'

'You know if you need to talk, or if you need anything, I'm here.'

Maddie smiled. 'I know.' Silence fell as Abeline arranged the flowers in the vases, Bubbles still playing around her ankles. 'Abeline, how have you been?'

'I've been better.' She replied honestly then looked over at the girl. 'But you don't need to be concerned with my problems.'

'I thought that's what friends are for. You know it goes both ways. If you need my help with anything, just ask.'

'Actually, there is one thing you can do.'

'Hmm?'

'Help us eat those buns when they are done.'

Maddie grinned. 'Oh, that's no problem at all, I can do that.'

'I thought you might.' She chuckled.

'Alright, so what do we do with these now?' She motioned towards the two flower presses.

'We put them in a cool dry place. The bookshelf in the living room will do just fine.' She handed the vase with the flowers Maddie had picked for Liam to her. 'I checked in on him, he said he'd appreciate some company.'

'Just make sure you let me know when those buns are finished cooking, you know I like them right from the oven.'

Abeline smiled as the teen headed out of the room with her kitten in tow. 'I'll bring them right in.'

Stopping at Liam's doorway, she knocked softly, Liam looking up from the book he was reading. Maddie smiled. 'Hey. Can I come in?'

'Hey Maddie.' Liam smiled back, placing his book aside. 'How have you been?'

'Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?' She teased good naturedly. 'I know guys don't really like flowers, but I bought these over for you anyway.'

'You didn't have to go to that trouble-'

'Hey, I like going to 'trouble' for my friends, okay?' She placed the vase down on his bedside table, looking around for a chair. Liam must have noticed for he patted the empty space on the double bed beside him.

'Boots off though.' Maddie chuckled as she took her boots off then sat down beside him. Her kitten jumped up onto the bed after her, coming over to nuzzle him and he gave her a scratch beneath the chin. 'This little one is growing up.'

'Yeah, that's for sure.' She agreed. 'I wish she'd stay this little forever but the vet nurse did say she would only be a small cat when she matures. She was the runt of the litter-' Bubbles returned to her for some more attention and she smiled as the kitten bumped her with her head. 'No one wanted to adopt her because she was the runt.'

'What made you choose her then?'

'I know how it feels to not be chosen.' Bubbles purred louder, rubbing her nose against her cheek. 'But this little one chose me and I chose her back. My Dad said I should have chosen a prettier kitten but I liked this one.' The kitten stood on her hind legs, her front paws holding onto her shirt to give her kisses and she kissed it back on her nose. 'I think we're perfect for each other.'

'She sure is the affectionate type.'

'Yeah, just not so great at three am having a cold nose on your cheek.'

'We used to have a cat who would do that when Cordi and I were growing up.' Liam said as Bubbles returned to him, settling down on top of his blankets to sleep. 'We called it Bluey, he was a good cat.'

'My first cat was called Furby.'

'Furby?' He started to laugh.

Maddi chuckled. 'That's the exact same reaction your Mom had when I told her too. Seven year old me thought it was the perfect name.' He shook his head, an amused smile on his face. 'I heard you were getting bored of being confined to bed, so we both thought we'd come annoy you for a little while.'

'Oh, you couldn't be annoying.'

She grinned, tossing her head cheekily. 'I'm sure by the time I go, you'll be begging for me to leave.'

'Maddie-' His grin was replaced by a frown seeing her black eye, the girl flinching when he gently touched her chin to turn her face so he could see it better. 'What happened there?'

'My terrible attempt at makeup, or the eye?'

'Looks like it was a nice shiner. How'd that happen?'

She motioned down to the sling Liam was sporting. 'Same time that happened. I uh... I might have bitten Clint.'

His eyebrows raised. 'You what?'

'Yeah, not the smartest thing I ever did, hey. I kinda walked in on what happened... Clint wouldn't let go of me so I bit him. He didn't take kindly to it when he caught me again.'

'Hench the black eye.'

She nodded, fiddling with a loose thread on the quilt. 'I got beat up pretty bad too which is why I haven't come to see you sooner.'

'Maddie, I didn't know-'

'There was nothing you could have done anyway. Okay? Besides, apart from the bruises here and there, I'm almost back to myself.' She glanced up at him after a moment. 'What about you though? You've been okay?'

'Managing is probably the best word.'

'August kept me in the loop how things were going here, I'm glad you're alright.'

'Yeah, me too.'

Silence fell except for the purrs coming from Bubbles, the kitten contentedly curled up on Liam's lap to sleep. 'Liam-' Maddie started after thinking things over for a moment. 'Can I ask you a question?'

'Sure.'

'Say a friend knew a friend was doing something wrong, something that could get them into a lot of trouble. What should the friend do? Should they say something to someone, knowing that if they do they would lose the friendship? Or should they keep quiet about it?'

'This friend is a friend of yours?'

'Kinda. Just someone I know from a few years back.' She lied.

'Well, if they are doing something wrong-' He looked at her. 'And if they know it is wrong and they willingly keep doing it, they could be putting themselves and others around them in danger. I would say to your friend that if they are worried about what this friend is doing, they need to tell someone about it. Regardless if they think their friend won't speak to them again.'

Maddie swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing what Liam said was right. In her case though, if she did tell someone, things wouldn't end very well for her... 'I'll give them that advice.'

Liam looked at her closely. 'You sure there isn't something you aren't telling me?'

'No, no, just thinking about my friend is all.' She replied, plastering a fake smile onto her face. Her eyes fell onto the deck of cards on the bedside table next to him and she motioned to it. 'Fancy a game?'


'Maddie- Oh come on.'

The girl chuckled as she placed her cards down on the tray. 'Fifth win in a row.'

Liam threw his cards down with a sigh. 'You have just gotten too good for me.'

'Another round?'

'You shouldn't be making jokes like that to a sick man.'

'At least you aren't bored now.' She grinned as she collected the cards together and began to shuffle them once more. 'Alright, how about you teach me to play another game.'

'I don't think I should-'

'Knock knock.'

They both looked up, Maddie's grin disappearing as she saw the man standing in the doorway. It was the man from her father's photos...

Liam didn't notice the sudden change in the teen's expression, shaking Stan's hand as he walked in. 'Is that barbeque I smell?'

'Sure is.' He replied, placing the bag down on the bedside table then motioned to the teen and the kitten. 'And who are these two?'

'Maddie, meet Stan Morrison. He's running against me for DA. And that-' He motioned to the kitten. 'Is her kitten Bubbles.'

'For a moment there I thought it was yours and you'd gone soft.' He chuckled then extended his hand to the girl. 'Pleasure to meet you.'

She forced a smile onto her face as she shook his hand. 'Likewise sir.'

'Abeline said you are welcome to all the sticky buns you want, her and Bonham have headed out for the rest of the day. So-' He looked back at Liam. 'Guess it's us two keeping an eye on you.'

'Ha. You'd do better to keep an eye on this young rascal here.' Liam replied. 'Beat me five out of five rounds at cards.'

Stan glanced over at Maddie. 'That true?'

She nodded. 'Yes sir.'

'How are you at a game of chess?'

'I think I can hold my own.'

'How about you go find that chess board then, I'm sure there'd be one around here somewhere while I talk to my political opponent for a moment.'

'Sure.' Any excuse to get out of the room quick enough. She picked up her sleeping kitten then climbed off the bed, heading to the door. 'I'll bet you both I can beat you.'

'Oh, that's quite the challenge since I am the undefeated chess champion of Walker game nights.'

'Then prepare to lose your crown, Mr. Morrison.' She replied with a cheeky grin.

Liam and Stan both laughed as she left the room, closing the door behind her so they could talk and she hurried into the kitchen. What was that man doing here? Even though the photo had obviously been taken a while back, it was most definitely him.

A note had been left on the counter with the cooling plate of sticky buns, Maddie opening it after placing Bubble down onto the floor. She smiled as she read Abeline's delicate cursive script.

Didn't want to interrupt you and Liam, seeing you both looked like you were having a good time. Bon and I will be back this afternoon, till then, make yourself at home. You're invited to dinner and to stay the night seeing your father is away. XO.

She looked down at her kitten as she played with a loose string from her sock. 'Well Bubbles, looks like we're spending the night.'


Later that night Maddie lay in bed but sleep wouldn't come to her. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts just kept going around and around inside her mind. From her observation of Stan during the day, she had noticed he seemed quite close to the Walkers. He seemed pleasant enough but there was something about him that made her feel uneasy. Even Bubbles must have sensed something because she hadn't gone anywhere near him and she was a kitten who liked everyone except her father.

With a sigh she decided that she wasn't going to get any sleep and so got up from her bed, sneaking quietly out into the hallway. Abeline's laugh rang out from the living room and she stopped, contemplating heading back to bed but she had already been spotted.

'We didn't wake you, did we?' Abeline questioned, propping herself up on her elbow.

She shook her head. 'No... Can't sleep.'

'Come here.' She patted the space beside her on the floor that Bonham had vacated, the teen joining her on the blankets. 'What's the matter?'

'I just... keep thinking... about things...' Maddie replied after a moment. 'Can't get my brain to turn off.'

'Yeah, it gets like that sometimes. Think some warm milk might help?'

The teen chuckled softly. 'I'm not five years old.'

'No, I guess you're not.' She looked at her closely, there seemed to be something that was deeply troubling her. 'What is it Maddie?'

Maddie wished she could tell her what was on her mind but knew if she did that, Abeline would tell Cordell and he'd get involved... 'I just... keep thinking about what happened here. What Clint said... about my Dad. Liam being shot, Hoyt dying...'

Abeline invited her for a hug and the teen snuggled up against her. 'I know. It keeps playing over in my mind too.'

'What can I do about it? How do I make it stop?'

'Talking about how you're feeling normally helps. Have you spoken to your father?'

That was the last thing she would do. She shook her head. 'I used to be able to tell my Mama everything but Dad and I just aren't that close. Not like how Cordell is like with his kids.'

'You know you can't keep it bottled up inside.'

'I know. I just... I can't tell my Dad.'

'Have you thought about writing a diary? If you can't talk to your Dad, maybe you should write your thoughts down as if you were speaking them to your mother.'

Maddie thought about it for a moment. It didn't sound like a bad idea at all. 'I might try doing that.'

Abeline smiled. 'You know, I started a diary when I was your age. I still write in it from time to time.'

'Really?'

She nodded.

'Oh I wonder what juicy secrets you have in there.'

'That's not for you to find out, little rascal.' She playfully bopped the girl on her nose, Maddie giggling softly. 'None of your business.'

'My Mama kept a diary too...' She started softly after a pause. 'I've got it hidden away. I've never looked at it, every time I thought about reading it, it just felt like it would hurt too much.'

'What did you like to do with your Mom?'

'I loved singing with her.' Maddie said with a wistful look in her eye. 'When I couldn't sleep at night, Mama would play with my hair and sing to me. It was called Wanderer's Lullaby, and she wrote it for me. I have a recording of her singing it, but I haven't been able to listen to it since she passed. It just hurts too much..'

'Your Mom sounds like she was very special.'

'She was, I just miss her so much...'

Abeline looked at her as her voice trailed off, her heart sympathizing with her. It had been a few years since she lost her mother and she had known her for a lot longer then the short time Maddie had with hers, but she knew what the loss felt like. The longing and wishing that you had the chance just to speak with her one last time. 'Well, I mightn't know her song, but I can do your hair.'

She smiled sadly. 'I'd like that.' She closed her eyes as Abeline ran her fingers through her hair, memories of her mom coming to mind. 'Mama and I used to camp out in the living room when Dad wasn't home, we'd make tents out of chairs and blankets. We'd watch a couple movies and have hot chocolate...' She sighed softly. 'In the moment, you don't realize that years later those moments have become memories.'

You don't know how true that is... Abeline thought as she kept stroking her hair. When she looked back down at Maddie, she had drifted off into a deep sleep. Hearing footsteps she saw Bonham returning and sat up, holding a finger to her lips. Quietly she stepped away from the teen and over to him, speaking to him softly. A moment later he carefully picked the teen up, Maddie sleeping on as he carried her back to the guest bedroom.

The teen didn't stir when he laid her down and Abeline gently laid the covers back over her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before leaving the room. She closed the door quietly behind them then they headed back to the living room to tidy up. 'Something is troubling her Bon, I can tell.'

'You care about her, don't you?' He had seen her kiss the girl goodnight.

She nodded, picking up one of the blankets off the floor. 'She's been through so much.'

'She reminds you of Hoyt.'

Abeline nodded again. 'I see in her the same as I saw in him when he was her age. Not knowing who to trust, afraid of everything. She's come a long way since she came here but I can feel there's something wrong and I just don't know what it is...' She sighed. 'I wish I could put a finger on it.'

Bonham placed his hand on her shoulder, a soft smile on his face. 'You'll figure it out. I know you will.'