Chapter 2: A conversation between father and son
For the past few days, T.K. had been dodging his father. He was doing everything to avoid running into him and when he did, he looked down and moved on. He was still wracked with guilt and just couldn't face his father.
Owen could see that something was eating away at T.K. from the inside. He had tried several times to talk to him, but without success. His son had a knack for dodging and running away. In the late afternoon, Owen decided to talk to the paramedic by going directly to the loft. The advantage of this location was that T.K. couldn't run away. He knocked on the door, T.K. opened it and let him in. Carlos was on duty, which left room for a conversation between father and son. The two sat down on the couch and T.K. served coffee.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes dad, I'm fine."
The answer was obvious. T.K. was doing everything he could to look good, but Owen knew his son and he wasn't about to let it go.
"I know you're preoccupied, you're avoiding me and you don't even dare look at me. I wish I knew what was going on."
T.K had lowered his head and felt really bad. He didn't want to have this discussion. Not right now.
"I'm just a little tired, that's all."
Owen sighed as T.K played nervously with his fingers. The father would place his hands on his son's to get him to stop.
"Son, tell me what's wrong. What's going on in your head? Please talk to me. Is this because of what happened the other night?"
T.K. shuddered as he heard his father speak. He had touched the sensitive subject. He was still angry at himself for using Oxy without his knowledge. Tears welled up in his eyes and an uncontrolled sob escaped. Owen took T.K. in his arms and held him tightly, determined not to let him go.
"I'm here, everything will be okay."
T.K. let himself go into his father's arms. He felt so much guilt and felt so weak. Owen rocked him with comforting words. Once he calmed down, T.K. pulled himself out of his father's arms and said:
"I'm sorry daddy. I feel so bad about this, about relapsing into using oxy in the Pho_COPY"
T.K had a lump in his throat, but Owen took his hands back to encourage him to talk. T.K continued to confide:
"I broke my sobriety tonight there... Dad, I'm just a mess... You must be so disappointed in me and I can't even imagine mom..."
His voice broke when he mentioned his mother and began to panic. His breathing was ragged. Owen took him back into his arms.
"Breathe, T.K."
Owen guided him back to normal breathing while also moving T.K.'s head to his heart. After five minutes, T.K.'s breathing returned to normal and he focused on his dad's heartbeat. Owen spoke up:
"Nothing is your fault, son. You took that drug without knowing it. Nothing changes your sobriety. I know you've fought to stay sober and I know you'll continue to do so. I have faith in you and you are not alone. I'm here, Carlos is here and so is all of 126. And T.K, I want you to listen to me carefully."
T.K. nodded in response, and Owen continued:
"I know I haven't been the best of fathers, or an exemplary father, and I'm sorry for that. I will always be there for you, son. I want to be that father and I will always be there for you. I will always pick you up when you fall and I will always find you when you are lost. I'm proud of you, you fight day in and day out to maintain your sobriety and you do so successfully. You have come a long way since we arrived in Austin and you have always overcome everything. You've made a fresh start and found love again with an amazing man who loves you and pulls you up. You survived the two times you were in a coma, you were rescued when you were kidnapped, and you've managed to cope with the deaths of Tim and your mom. You face life's obstacles with strength, courage and determination. You will make it through this ordeal and I know that your mother is proud of you from up there and always will be. She will always watch over you, even from up there. Nothing will change that."
T.K. smiled and felt much better. His father was right about everything and he was moved to know how proud his father was of him, but also how proud his mother would have been. He stayed in his father's arms, wanting to enjoy a father/son moment. Even though he had grown apart from his father, T.K still looked up to him as a hero and role model.
"I love you dad."
Owen smiled and gave him a kiss on the head.
"I love you too son."
