Author's Note:
Just an FYI that not all chapters will contain matures themes. I love stories that tug one's hearts and just a sprinkle of lemonade every now and then to add to the thrill. I'm a romantic person so I don't like creating just plain sensual stuff. I hope that's fine with you. :D
Rated M for adult themes that might appear in the upcoming chapters such as sex and violence.
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Chapter 4 – Decisions and Regrets
Three giggling females submerged in waist-deep water invited Kakashi to join them in the bath. He couldn't remember how the hell he ended up in a hot spring but couldn't care less. He unclasped the towel around his waist and dove in but when his eyes opened, he found himself looking at his bedroom's ceiling – no naked women, no hot water, only the fit of giggles remained.
He slowly realized that the noise was coming from his living room. Damn, it was nothing but a dream, an almost wet dream, and he badly wished he could have stayed a little longer. He pitied himself for being like a teenage boy who was in the peak of puberty, dreaming of naked women just to console his needs.
He propped himself up the bed with his elbows. As it turned out, it was Sakura, Shizune and Hanare's laughter echoing through the door. He was surprised to find out that the latter had a very feminine laugh, because she could be pretty cocky when she wanted to.
Sakura eyed him sharply when she saw him standing by the door. Looked like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but he greeted her anyway. "Good Morning, Sakura!" He stretched his hands above his head as he walked past the bathroom door to Sakura who was standing by the corner of the curtained room. He saw her hand clutched the junction of two curtains tighter, leaving only a streak of light along the gap.
"Did I do something wrong?" Kakashi petted his former student's head with a smile. A nervous smile to be exact.
Did Hanare tell Sakura about the tension between us last night? Did she tell her about my sexual advances? He asked himself. Although, he kept telling himself that he did nothing wrong because he didn't touch her anywhere that wasn't necessary. Plus, not that he was assuming things but he knew and felt that it was a freakin' mutual attraction. Her body's reaction, gasps and blushes were the indication.
But, if there was one thing he was guilty of, it was to lead a rogue ninja on.
"You look so guilty, Hokage-sama." Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Shizune's just cleaning Hanare's surgical wound."
"Oh I see." Kakashi said, sitting on one of the dining stools lined up just beside the door.
"Aren't you going to work?" Sakura asked.
"Well, I told Hanare I'll explain her situation before I go."
"We're almost done." Kakashi heard Shizune through the curtain. Not long after, she spoke again. "Kakashi-sama you can now come in."
Sakura parted the curtain to create an opening for Kakashi to enter. Kakashi stood up and gave her a smile as he walked past her. He didn't know why his former student was giving him the same annoyed look she used to have whenever he was late for their missions or trainings, reminding him of the good old days.
"Good morning, Kakashi-sama." Shizune smiled with Tonton in her arms.
"Good morning, Shizune." Kakashi waved his hand. "Sorry if I have to assign you as Sakura's assistant on top of being my assistant."
"Don't mention it, Kakashi-sama." Shizune's smile broadened. "I enjoy being both a medical-nin and as the Hokage's assistant."
Hanare's heart started pounding wildly in her chest when he heard Kakashi's morning voice behind the curtain, low and raspy. And now that he was standing in front of her, with the morning light illuminating the whole room, she could see his entire features clearly. He still looked the same as the last time she saw him, just a little bit older but in a good way. In front of her, was a man in his prime – strong, successful and proud. She licked her lips unconsciously when memories of last night flashed across her mind – the feeling of his calloused fingertips and the warmth of his body against hers.
"How was your sleep?" Kakashi finally turned to her, causing her heart to skip a beat despite the coldness that registered in his voice. He sounded different. Last night, he looked at her with care and talked to her with a sense of delight, but now his expression was blank. She had concluded it was because he was in front of his associates, and must act as how a Hokage should be in front of a rogue ninja. "Good." She managed to reply with the same coldness.
"Let's get straight to the point." Kakashi shoved his hands in his pocket as he walked over and stood near the foot of the bed, consistent at keeping his gaze away from her eyes. "The reason why we agreed to keep you in Konoha is because Sakura mentioned interesting abilities we didn't know you possess." Kakashi paused. "Before we dive into more details, I have three questions for you."
"First, why are you in our village?"
"She can't remember." Sakura answered.
"I'm asking Hanare, Sakura." Kakashi said in a calm but resolute voice without turning to Sakura's direction.
Hanare looked away, fists gripping the sheets beneath her. "Sakura was right. I-I can't remember."
Kakashi took a deep breath. "You're a master of memory, Hanare. I doubt you're telling the truth but we'll find out sooner or later. Just so you know, our Analysis team can extract even memories that have been forgotten or blocked."
Hanare knew Kakashi was all sorts of things but stupid. Although she kept calling him a fool, she knew he was far from that. But what would she say? Should she admit that she was just trying to protect Konoha? That would just make her the 'fool', and she wouldn't want to see his reaction. Would he find her ridiculous, feel sorry for her or be glad of her actions? If it's the latter, what then? That wouldn't change the fact that she was a rogue ninja. Empathy is the least thing she should expect from kakashi.
She decided to keep her facade for now just to buy herself more time. Or maybe just to stay in Konoha a little longer despite being kept in a tiny room. She'd choose this rather than being out there like a bait in a sea full of sharks even just for a little while. She deserved a little bit of solace after what she had endured and lying was her only course of action.
"Second question. Is your ability a Kekkei Genkai?"
Hanare's eyes widened. She never thought her ability was a Kekkei Gennai and nor was it mentioned by Elder. "I don't know." She mumbled. It hurts being a stranger in her own skin. Being a spy for years messed her up. She didn't even know who was the real her out of all the personas she pretended she was. And now he was shoving to her face that she might belong to generations of a clan with kekkei genkai. So where are they? Is that why her village abandoned her? Is she the only remaining member of that clan? Were they wiped out just like the other clans with bloodline limits?
"Third. Are you using your eyes or your mind?"
"I'm using both but." She paused. "It wasn't the main source of my ability."
"What is it then?"
Hanare's mouth quirked into a wry smile. "That's more than three questions, you know."
Kakashi clicked his tongue. "Well, your answer didn't satisfy––."
"My blood." Hanare cut Kakashi mid-sentence. She was just annoying him. She knew she didn't have the option to turn a deaf ear to his inquiries when her life was in his hands.
"I see. So it must be a Blood release then." Kakashi pondered, mismatched orbs resting in the corner of his eyes. "Sakura." He turned to his former student. "Get the rest of the details later. When will she be strong enough for a Psycho Mind Transmission?"
"Two weeks would be the earliest." Answered Sakura.
"I can manage in a week." Hanare retorted.
Sakura clutched the paper board on her hands against her chest tightly. "Hanare-san your body is––"
"It is a week from now then." Kakashi cut Sakura mid-sentence and straightened himself up before continuing. "A week from now, your memory will be extracted by our Analysis team to find out your real purpose of being here in Konoha. If you came with the intention to harm the village, you'll be imprisoned. Otherwise, we'll aid you in your recovery in exchange for the knowledge of your abilities. Then, once you're fully recovered, and once we get all the information we need, you're free to leave. You can rest assured that Leaf shinobis will not hunt you down as a rogue ninja."
"She can't leave! You know Jōmae assassins are after her." Sakura protested.
"Sakura, Hanare is not even a citizen of the Land of fire. Therefore, she's not allowed to stay in the village, especially not as a rogue ninja. Rules must be followed." Kakashi said firmly, standing his ground.
"He's right, Sakura." Hanare smiled. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."
"Give me a detailed report of Hanare's abilities in five days." Kakashi instructed before leaving.
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Kakashi was walking in the hallway of Hokage residence. He was supposed to live here during his tenure but it was currently being used as an evacuation facility for people who had lost their homes. He preferred staying at his apartment anyway but that changed now, not with Hanare around.
He was torn between filling the role of the Hokage and being the Kakashi she knew in front of her. But why the heck did he care? She was basically a stranger, a stranger who claimed he had saved just because of some childish beliefs about clouds.
"You're late Hokage-sama." Shikamaru complained when he entered the Hokage office.
Kakashi hung his Hokage cloak and hat on a rack near the door. "Hai. Gomen ne, Shikamaru. I explained our condition to Hanare myself earlier, that's why."
"So…" Shikamaru trailed off, following Kakashi's movements with his eyes. "Will she cooperate?"
"Yes. She had actually already told us that it is a Blood release. Sakura will give us whatever details she could gather in five days." Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked behind his desk.
"That's good to know."
"Indeed." He said pulling up the chair then sank in his seat. "However, she said she couldn't remember why she's in Konoha, which I found hard to believe. But we'll find out the truth in a week so that's nothing to worry about."
"Isn't one week too early? Based on her medical report, I don't think she could handle the strain that Psychological Mind transmission puts on one's body."
"I agree but she was the one who suggested one week is enough." Kakashi rested her cheek on one hand and glanced up to Shikamaru. "Besides, I don't want to waste more time. The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can fully focus on restoring the village again." Kakashi cracked his neck on both sides, making popping sounds. "This is taking too much of Sakura and Shizune's time. And the two Anbus we've deployed are supposed to be finding more survivors but there they are, babysitting a rogue ninja instead." Kakashi's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh, speaking of Anbu. Yugao?" In a puff of smoke, Yugao appeared and Kakashi was glad she was no longer kneeling.
"Yes, Hokage-sama?"
"Can you assign female Anbu to guard Hanare instead?"
"Sure, Hokage-sama but may I know why? Did they do something that displeased you?"
Kakashi waved his hand, smiling beneath his mask. "Nothing like that. It's just that they froze up when they saw Hanare's bum when she accidentally fell off the bed last night." Kakashi chuckled when he saw Yugao and Shikamaru's cheeks stained with a pink shade. "We can't have that right? Might not be able to guard our rogue ninja properly."
"U-understood, Hokage-sama."
"Anyway, have you found out who she fought with?"
"The shinobis who were guarding the gate during the war were currently in Suna to get more materials for building houses. They will be on their way back to konoha three days from now and will arrive in two weeks."
"I see. Don't mention Hanare to them yet. Have them report to me upon their arrival instead."
"Understood, Hokage-sama."
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"There you are Shizune, Tonton." Kakashi let out a sigh of relief when he saw his assistant. "Can you help me read the rest of these, please?" He pleaded, burying his head in the piles of letters littering his desk. He had been swamped with mission requests and although their hands were already full from restoring Konoha, they needed a budget to keep it up.
Shizune smiled with a sweat dropping on the side of her head. Kakashi always asked for her help to read mission requests but she'd end up reading it all, with Kakashi just asking what missions caught her attention. She hoped everything would go back to normal soon so this would be handled by the Mission Assignment Desk again. "Sure, Kakashi-sama."
"Sakura?" Kakashi raised his head when his former student entered the room, following Shizune.
"Can I have a word with you, Hokage-sama?"
"Are you finally going to tell me why you're annoyed with me the whole morning?" He said playfully as Shizune walked to his side, leaving Sakura standing in front of him. He had been dreading this moment, and was getting more nervous when Sakura's serious expression didn't falter. Normally, she'd crossed her arms, narrowed her eyes at him or called him 'Hey, Kakashi-sensei'. He knew this must be much serious than he expected, but he was completely clueless what it was.
"Hanare-san was caught up a few times by Jomae assassins but she always managed to escape." Sakura started.
"That's no surprise seeing her now." Kakashi commented, lacing his fingers in front of his mask. All ears to what his student was about to say as he was confused that it was still about Hanare.
"But there was this one occasion when she barely made it alive." Sakura paused, gritting her teeth. "Three rogue ninjas found her helpless in the forest and took advantage of her."
Kakashi's mouth went dry. He felt as if cold water was splashed onto him, his fingers tightly intertwined in front of his masks.
"Yes, someone came to stop them and saved Hanare-san but not without leaving a mark. A mark that would always remind her of that night."
"W-what mark?" Kakashi finally gathered his senses to speak.
"A bite mark." Sakura looked away, jaws clenched.
Kakashi took in a shaky breath, briefly closing his eyes. "As much as this information was disheartening, I don't see how it could be of any help with regards to her situation, Sakura."
"You're right, Hokage-sama. We don't gain anything from this information. But I just want to make sure that you're aware of the consequences of the choice you made on that cliff."
"Sakura…" Shizune cut off Sakura in a soft voice.
"Let her, Shizune." Kakashi uttered.
"I'm not saying you should have killed her then but maybe you could have tried to help her in some way. Maybe you could have convinced the Third to help her find a home in Konoha. Hopefully, you'll have the guts to make things right, now that you're the Hokage." Sakura said then left, slamming the door behind her.
"I-I apologize on behalf of Sakura, Kakashi-sama." Said Shizune. Her eyes were filled with concern.
"Don't be, Shizune. Sakura was right. This is my fault."
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"Hokage-sama." Two masked kunoichi standing by his apartment's door greeted Kakashi. One with Light brown hair who Kakashi knew was Soku, the current youngest member of Anbu aged fourteen. The other one is none other than Yugao. He plastered a smile before reaching for the doorknob but slowly retracted his hand.
He walked away without saying a word. He exited through a window at the end of the hallway, jumping from roof to roof under the moonlight. He cursed under his breath for he couldn't face or bear being near Hanare after finding out what she went through.
The path that rogue ninjas took was a cursed one, especially for a kunoichi and he was completely aware of that. But he couldn't help but blame himself knowing that she could have avoided such faith only if he had ended her life or tried to ask the Third's favor just like what Sakura said. Wasn't it what he had done to save Kahyo?
But Hanare's case was much more complicated. She killed none at least in their last encounter but he doubted there was another way for her to live in the village because she wasn't even from the Land of fire. But maybe he could have trusted the Third a little more or maybe killing her was the right thing to do. But if it comes back to ending her life, he couldn't do it. He just couldn't. But it wasn't for her, he did it for himself. He simply didn't want her blood in his hands especially that she claimed that they met when they were children. He felt like if he had killed her, he had killed Rin all over again. But now that her sufferings were made known, everything still came back as his fault.
He was now running in the Third Training Ground, through the woods until he found himself standing in front of the Memorial Stone. Finding himself in front of his dead comrades' names wasn't new, only this time, he had no words for them. He just let the silence of the night speak for him.
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It had been four days since Hanare last saw Kakashi. He never came home after he had discussed her circumstances. Being a Hokage after a war must be keeping him away from home. But she didn't like the atmosphere between them on that day. He felt so distant. But maybe, instead of saying that she wasn't expecting less from him, the hard truth is that she should really start to expect less. On top of that, she shouldn't be surprised at all. Who did she think she was to him? She was nothing but a rogue ninja with interesting abilities to explore.
She had gotten the chance to interact with the two kunoichi guarding her. She'd ask them for a favor at times whenever Sakura and Shizune weren't around because she still couldn't stand on her own, such as turning off the light and carrying her to the toilet. She told herself she'd rather die than use the bedpan Sakura gave her, afraid the stench would fill the room. What would happen if Kakashi walked in?
Although she enjoyed spending time with Sakura, Shizune, and Tonton, and making small talk with the two unnamed kunoichi, there was a part of her that was longing for Kakashi's presence.
Each time she heard the door creaking, she wished it was him. Of course, she only had seen him thrice which was not a big improvement, and she knew that for someone who lived a normal life, that wasn't enough to get attached. But she wasn't one of the lucky ones, she was a spy and for her, he was her first ever bond. The bond she wanted to reconnect with, to get to know and perhaps even to grow.
"Sakura, why do you like romance books?" She asked while Sakura was shining a flashlight at her pupils.
"Well, it makes me feel good. Don't you like it?"
"I must admit I like it but." Hanare paused . "It makes you hope to experience the same happy endings when reality is far from that." Sakura stopped to look at her as she continued. "It's misleading."
Sakura smiled bitterly, lowering the flashlight away from Hanare's sight. She knew Hanare's sentiment was based on her feelings for his sensei. She knew because she experiences it too – how to love someone who doesn't love you back.
"But, isn't it good to be away from reality from time to time? Yes, life isn't always filled with flowers and chocolates but it doesn't mean you'll forever be stuck in that." She paused. "Besides who says you won't get a happy ending? It's just a matter of 'Not yet'. But just know that happy endings don't always have to be something romantic. And it's fine." Sakura placed his hand on Hanare's shoulder, reassuring her. "Don't worry, Hanare-san, slowly, you can read it without comparing it to your life."
"Sakura, why are you kind to me?"
Sakura sat at the stool in front of her. "Hmmm…" she contemplated. "Since we're already talking about romance. I think it's because I have fallen in love with a rogue ninja once."
"Sasuke?" Hanare smiled and took Sakura's crimson face as a 'Yes'.
"Right you know him, and of course you've heard he became a missing-nin." She scratched her head shyly. When she finally regained her composure she rested her hands on her lap. "Back when he was a rogue ninja, not knowing whether he was safe or dying somewhere almost shattered me. I prayed and prayed that someone would help him whenever he was in that situation. So I hope to do the same thing to you. Lending you a hand. Because in some way, I feel like I am making up for the things I couldn't." Sakura extended her arms and reached for Hanare's hand. "And besides, I never once believed you're a bad person, Hanare-san. It was just that you had been born in a different village with a twisted system." Sakura looked away.
Hanare put her other hand on top of Sakura's. "Thank you Sakura." She paused and smiled. "You really do love him. You see, I actually met his brother before."
"Itachi?" Sakura gazed up at her, wide eyed.
Hanare nodded. "He looked exactly like Sasuke, except the grooves in his face. They both have a cold gaze but deep inside there was warmth."
"You must have been close to him to know he had that side of him."
"Uhhh… well, we're both rogue ninjas. And rogue ninjas cross paths in the wilderness. Either a battle ensues or an alliance forms."
"What else happened between you and Itachi?" Sakura asked eagerly. She didn't know much about him, hell, she hated him for causing Sasuke so much pain that pushed him into darkness. But now that she had found out the truth about the Uchiha massacre, pity and compassion were all that she harbored for him. Sasuke would be surprised if he found out about Hanare and Itachi being acquainted for sure.
"It's a long story, Sakura. I'll let my memory speak in the upcoming Psycho Mind Transmission."
Although Sakura couldn't wait to hear more. Hanare was right, seeing it through her memory is much better.
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What do you think about Hanare being acquainted with Itachi? I mean, it's possible right since they werem both rogue ninjas. I just love the idea that Itachi was the one to save Hanare. You'll find out more soon!
If you're wondering who Kahyo is, you can read the novel 'Kakashi Hiden: Lightning in the Icy Sky'.
Ja ne! :D
