Trigger Warning- Graphic scenes described in this chapter of near sexual assault and violence.

The cicadas were singing in the garden, it was now summer. Your face was enjoying the heat of the sun and the wind chimes rang gently with the breeze.

- You seem happy.

You turn to your side and see Hanako, she was drinking the tea and had a smile on her face. You burst into tears and run to your long time friend, embracing her at impact. You cry as she pets your head, the soft touch makes you hold her closer and you keep apologising.

-H-hanakooo...I'm s-sorryyyy...

She wipes your tears and smiles at you.

- No need to apologise, none of this was your fault (n/a)-chan...

You gently grab her face and press your foreheads together.

- If I could, I'd go back and save you...if only I was stronger...

She closes her eyes and holds your own face in return.

- I know. You were always there ready to protect me, just thought I'd return the favour...

You lean back looking at her properly, she was wearing a white yukata and her loving gaze was still the same as you remembered. Hanako gently wipes your last tears and holds your hands.

- (N/A)-chan listen...You need to stay on your path.

You knit your brows together, closing your eyes and sighing.

- Everyone has been warning me but...why?

Hanako's smile is strained but she does not answer, she pulls out your setsuka pin and places it in your hands.

- He loves you a lot you know...

You blush and press your small treasure against your chest.

- But...love isn't enough...

You open your mouth to speak but can't seem to find the words.

- I know you love him a lot too but you have to remain in your path, for you, for him, for Daki and for...

You cock your head sideways and wait for her to finish the sentence but she glances at you as if you already knew.

- Hanako?

She glances at your belly and smiles.

- Take care sweet (n/a)-chan...

She hugs you and the familiar white light envelopes everything.

You wake up noticing how dark the room was, sitting up you begin to ponder on the occurring dreams you've been having. They all pleaded the same and you begin to wonder what they were trying to warn you about. You gently rub your stomach and for a second you double take. When was the last time you bled? I had been two months since your wedding with Gyutaro and ever since your first time together you haven't had your period.

Standing up carefully you begin to change into your kimono, it was just you, Gyutaro and Daki were away for business, Daki tried taking you along with but Gyutaro warned her that your presence would not please their master. You shiver just with that thought of him, you were more than happy staying behind, plus you had your own work to do. You slip into your getas and grab your bag with your materials walking out into the bustling street. Summer was definitely here, you notice the Oirans fan their pretty painted faces, beckoning men with cold beverages, they were like water nymphs in the desert. You smile and bow to the people greeting you, word spread and your work was at par with your fathers and you certainly had his charm, receiving commission after commission from various houses. You were doing the Masayoshi name proud, grateful for the opportunity to continue your family's tradition, maybe one day you could teach it to your own children. Shaking your head you walk to your destination.

Don't be silly, a demon and human cannot bear children.

-(n/a)-sama welcome!

You were in front of the Tokito house and you make your way inside, everyone was busy doing their chores and you moved graciously in full knowledge of the layout, in front the shoji you bow and announce your arrival, just like your father used to and his father before him.

A sweet voice calls you in and you open to see Koinatsu smiling at you brightly.

You bow in front of her and she does the same then she hugs you.

- Congratulations on your wedding (n/a)-san! You are glowing!

You blush and hold her hand.

- That is very kind of you Koinatsu-san.

She guides you to her spot and you begin doing her hair, the two of you share life updates and giggle when Koinatsu mentions a respectable man who has been visiting her every so often.

- He sounds like a gentleman, oh Koinatsu-san, I'm so happy for you!

She giggles and blushes.

- What about you (n/a)-san? How is the married life?

You finish adding the intricate ornaments on her hair and you grin back at her.

- It's been so lovely, I just can't believe that I'm actually his wife...ah feels like a dream!

Koinatsu smiles and nods her head.

- You seem so happy, I'm glad...such a kind person such as yourself, you deserve to find happiness especially since...

Koinatsu looks at you with sorrow, you smile and hold her hand.

- It's okay Koinatsu-san, my father is finally at peace with my mother...I am certain they are also watching over me. Father is probably scolding me when I mix up some techniques hahaha.

The Oiran laughs and closes her eyes so you can add the eyeliner, you were skilled and quick. Koinatsu really admired it, it seemed as your strength bled through whenever you dipped a brush, painting a story on young women and mens faces and what really surprised her was the love you still held for the craft passed down in your family. It was common for people to stray their path after experiencing such a heavy loss and avoiding anything that connected the person to their pain, but you seem to find peace within it. Your work and the new family you found were the main reasons that made you want to work hard and continue your father's legacy, the main thing Koinatsu noted reflecting her own self. The need to take care of others and prove them that you could grow.

- Your father would have been proud (n/a)-san...

Your eyes get watery and you slowly bow to her smiling.

- Thank you Koinatsu-san...

You finish her lips and step back, grabbing a mirror so she could see your work, her surprised satisfied expression fills you with joy, another job well done. As you pack your stuff ready to head to your next appointment, a knock could be heard from the other side of the shoji.

-Yes?

A young woman with tied black hair and lilac eyes comes in smiling. You smile at her and bow.

- Ah! Hinatsuru-chan come in! I'd like for you to meet one of the best makeup and hair artist in Yoshiwara. Masayoshi (N/A), Hinatsuru is one of the new Oirans.

The young woman smiles at you and bows.

-Pleasure meeting you Masayoshi-sama.

You smile gently at her.

- Please, no need for such formalities, call me (n-

Gag

The two Oirans snap both their heads to you and their expressions turn into ones of concern. Your hand was covering your mouth and you were violently trembling.

This smell...too strong...too much

Koinatsu approaches you, letting you sit down, she was rubbing your back.

- (n/a)-san...

Then there's recognition in her bronze eyes, she turns to Hinatsuru, snapping the young woman from her daze.

- Hinatsuru-san, are you wearing perfume?

-...Yes, but...

Koinatsu nods and whispers gently at you.

- (N/A)-san, when was the last time you bled?

The blood drains from your face and you look back at her still trembling. She smiles softly at you and guides you out of the room.

- Hinatsuru, I'm sorry I'll be taking (n/a)-san to see a doctor, please tell master that I'll be back.

The young woman bows, the two leave and she has somber look, she takes out the little flask from her pouch, it was wisteria and who hated the smell more than anything?

Demons

You felt a bit better as you gulp down the water, you had suddenly felt extremely thirsty but at least you stopped vomiting, Koinatsu was still beside you, holding your hand in comfort. The doctor returns and she stands up.

- Doctor?

The man nods and sits in front of you.

- Have you been feeling nauseous lately?

You ponder and remember that you have indeed, each time you woke up you'd find yourself sensitive to particular smells and for some reason you have been craving for peculiar snacks.

You nod exhaustingly at the doctor, he address Koinatsu and smiles.

- Seems like your friend here is expecting.

Koinatsu squeals in glee and she hugs your side. Wait, you? Well you didn't share the same sheer joy, how could this be happening? You look at your stomach and you could feel tears form, you couldn't be...you couldn't!

-(n/a)-san?

- Sorry Kointasu-san...I'm just shocked...this...is all unexpected.

You stand up and bow to the two.

- Thank you for your care and work, I seem to be very tired and I'd like to go home and rest.

- Would you like for me to assist you?

You gently shake your head and with a strained smile you decline her kind offer.

You slowly walk home, your eyes were empty and holding your stomach. How was this possible? For years you'd heard that demons could never procreate, however with humans...was it still a possibility? You glance at your stomach and you caress the non existent bump. This baby was yours and Gyutaro's. Oh dear god, what would Gyutaro think of it? Would he jump in glee like Koinatsu or will it scare him off? You exhale and try to empty your mind on any negative emotion, he wasn't going to leave you over this. If anything, he stayed with you despite being a demon, but a child in the mix would make him more vulnerable. What would the hashira's do if they found out?

Your thoughts are interrupted with an old woman calling you. You look at her, she seemed petrified, pointing a shaky finger towards you.

A demon...

You hold your breath, eyes wide in fear.

- Demon carrier...

You step back and shake your head, tears were falling down, your breathing became quick and shallow.

- No, no, no...

- You carry his evil seed, witch!

You run for it, not caring who you were bumping into, you had to get out.

Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out. GET OUT!

You stumble into an empty shabby alley way, you take a moment to catch your breath and you start puking again. Couldn't you get a break?

- Look what we got here fellas~

Your heart stops and you look at the group of three men smirking your way, you stand up and wipe your mouth.

- I am terribly sorry! I didn't mean to intrude, I'll be leaving.

But your exit is blocked by one of them, they reeked of alcohol and you cover your mouth again, the smell was too strong.

- Look at this prissy bitch! She thinks she's better than us.

- You really think you can come and disrupt us without paying us back?

You were shaking from fear, by instinct you hold your stomach.

- Please let me go...

- Huh? Already begging? HA! You really are somethin'.

One man grabs your hair and pushes you to the ground, your materials scatter and you scream in pain.

- Shush her!

One man holds your arms from behind and the other approaches you with a dirty cloth ready to tie it around your mouth. You shake your head and shout a plea at them.

- Please let me go! Please! I don't want any trouble!

The man tries covering your mouth but in reflex you bite him, he hisses from the retaliation.The man looks at you angrily in disgust.

- This bitch!

The other man punches your face and you shield your stomach again, he pulls your hair loose and spreads your legs as the other man pins you down. You cry in desperation, this can't be happening, please gods no!

- Please have mercy! I'm pregnant! Please don't hurt my baby!

The man spits on your face and loosens his sash.

- What of it? Like that shit is supposed to stop me.

You hang your mouth in shock and see him lifting his foot pressing it on the one place you've been trying to protect, your stomach.

- Lets just kill it and make a new one! HA!

You scream for help but your mouth his covered by the dirty cloth, you thrash in a desperate state, making sure he would stop hurting your baby. The two men struggle to keep you in place and you growl at one of them.

- Feisty this one!

The man in front of you grabs a pipe and cackles.

- Let's knock her out and knock her up at the meantime!

He crouches down to you and smirks disgustingly.

- I'm sure ya husband wouldn't mind sharing, eh?

Like Hell I do

The men freeze, out of the shadows Gyutaro emerges, you cry in relief but your sobs are muffled from the gross cloth. The man with the pipe points at him, challenging death.

- The fuck are you?

Gyutaro glares, his blood sickles appear and he looked beyond angry.

I'm her husband

The man laughs and slaps his knee, the other two don't share the same reaction, they seemed mortified.

-HAAA! You?! The husband?! Shit!

He stares back at you and humps mockingly.

- You fucking that ugly bastard!?

You grit your teeth and glare menacingly at him.

- Is that the look you give him when he fucks yo-

Blood splashes on his face, one of his mates torso was cut in half and the corpse lands in front of him. The other drunk tries running away but Gyutaro crushes his skull against the wall, his limp body falls down and he gently lifts you up uncovering your mouth. He passes his hand over your stomach and scans your face, his eyes widen at your bruised cheek and he sneers back at the man who was now shitting himself.

- Oiii...Your'e a d-demon, why y-you protectin' her?

Gyutaro scratches his neck, his skin peeling off, his other arm places you behind him.

Scum touching what's mine really pisses me off. Really...really pisses me off.

In a flash, his blood sickle cuts one of the man's arms off and before he could scream, Gyutaro pierces his chin with the tip of the other weapon.

Your disgusting hands dare hurt my wife...

He digs the sickle further, the man was crying and gagging on his own blood gushing down his throat.

Your scummy foot dares harm my child?!

Gyutaro kicks the man's leg breaking it in an agonising angle.

Gyutaro goes close to the man's face and his orange eyes dawn the drunks road to hell.

Never again will you have a sane thought

Ever

He slices him and the body slowly splits into half, you had your eyes covered and you feel Gyutaro lifting you up, jumping onto the roof. You uncover your eyes, you two were way up high and the red lanterns seemed to stretch into the nights sky, you look at Gyutaro and his expression seemed stressed, you don't pry hiding your face on his chest

You both arrive at your home and he is carrying you in letting your feet land softly on the tatami, he double checks your face and analyses for further injuries.

-Daki!

Daki runs into the room and gasps at the sight of your bruised face and muddy kimono, she gently places her hand on your cheek and begins tearing up.

- What happened?

- Scum, that's what happened. Run the bath, she needs to be cleaned up.

Daki nods and goes to prepare the bath, Gyutaro sits you down near the table and he is frantically looking for some ointments. Seeing him so worried makes you feel extremely guilty, you couldn't help but feel this was entirely your fault. He sits down again in front of you and lifts your head, he starts gently placing the ointment on your bruised cheek and curses under his breath.

- ...Gyu?

He doesn't respond, his expression was one of annoyance and your throat clenches. He was mad at you. If only you didn't run away and ended aimlessly in a dodgy alleyway. You should have known better, you grew up in Yoshiwara all of your life, so this type of mistake was naive on your part. Daki returns and sits next to you rubbing your back.

-Nee- chan it's okay now, your saf-

Gyutaro punches the table breaking it slightly, you grip your kimono and shut your eyes.

- Like hell it's okay! She should have known better than wandering into dark corners.

-Onii-chan your'e being unfair!

He glares at his young sister and growls.

- She should've went straight home and not wander, what if I wasn't there? HA!?

Daki glares back and growls in return, her fangs become prominent.

- How could've she had known!? She was just minding her own busin-

- SHE COULD HAVE DIED! GONE! LEAVING US, JUST LIKE THAT!

- WE WOULD BE THERE TO PROTECT HER!

- WE ARENT ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE!

- WHY CANT YOU TRUST HER?!

BECAUSE SHE ISNT LIKE US!

Your small sobs reaches the siblings and they stop, your tears were hitting the floor and you were shaking.

-...I'm sorry...

Daki kneels to your small form and holds you petting your head, she glares back at her older sibling and scoffs.

- Ya happy now?

Gyutaro looks the other way, fists still balled up. Daki gently lifts you up and guides you to the bathroom.

- Come on nee-chan let's get you cleaned up...

When the two leave the room he stares back at the spot you were sitting, some droplets from your tears were still there and he chokes up. Why did he hurt you?

You sat numb in the bathtub as Daki washed your hair, she was being unusually quiet as she gently detangles your locks. Your eyes were red from all the crying and you had no strength to even properly thank her. The words your husband shout out during his outbreak stung, cutting deep into your heart and you feel weak. You rub your belly and silently apologise to your unborn child for nearly risking both of your lives, if only you had remained calm, if only you would had taken your time and allowed yourself to sink the truth in and not run from it, then none of this would have happened. The doubt oozes out from your bent form and the familiar feeling of uselessness weighs you down, it was the same feeling you faced when you lost your family during that horrible night. The bitter words invade your mind, taunting and scolding you all at once.

If only I was stronger...

- Nii-chan didn't mean all of that...he loves you nee-chan, he is just acting stupid.

You don't say anything and Daki's heart breaks seeing you like this, you were the same when you lost your family, ever so silent and ever so absent. She saw the self hate cloud your eyes and could see the harsh words dragging you into the mist of doubt. She knew it all too well for she too had gotten lost in that same mist. When she wasn't good enough and no matter how many times she tried, she was always second to her brother, never known fully as the six upper moon, no, that tittle belonged to Gyutaro. The regret in stabbing the samurais eye when he bad mouthed her brother when they were children plagues her, she was the cause of their death and she selfishly dragged her brother into the mess she had created.

Your eyes connect and she could see herself, the loneliness is prominent and your eyes held no shine. In this movement you were her all those years ago, lost and scared. She gently calls out your name and you turn your face away from her and with the weakest voice, you finally break the silence.

- I'll never be good enough...

Daki shakes her head.

- Nee-chan don't say that!

- Everyone slips through my fingers and I can never catch them in time...

You don't utter anything else and she dries up you up, whispering words of comfort guiding you into your shared room, Gyutaro was already there and Daki glares at him.

- Leave us alone Daki.

Daki pulls you closer to her.

- Get out.

- Let me talk to her goddamit!

So you can tell me just how pathetic I am?

Daki stares back at you in shock and Gyutaro's expression shifts into a pained one. You look up and your empty eyes haunt him.

- I know...I'm weak...

You walk slowly to him.

-Nee-ch-

- If only I was stronger...maybe even smarter...perhaps none of them would be dead.

Gyutaro sees the pain crawling out of you and he swears he can see himself as a child instead, curling in fear and self loathing.

- If only I wasn't so weak, then none of them would have died for nothing.

He shakes his head.

- I'm cursed for being pathetic...and all of them...mother...father...Hanako... everyone...gone.

You hold your stomach and cry.

- I nearly killed our child, all because I'm weak...all because of m-

The two siblings were holding you tightly and you snap out of your own daze.

- You are not weak!

Daki nods and finally her tears shed.

- You are not cursed!

Gyutaro nods back agreeing with his sister.

- You aren't pathetic either!

- Hm! You are not alone nee-chan!

-Yea! You got us and we think you are badass.

Daki sobs but continues nodding her head.

- If anything you saved us Nee-chan!

You grip tightly onto them as if your life depended on it.

- You came and saved us from the dark... you found us!

Your eyes water but this time from love and you suddenly feel whole again.

- Were your family and we are so proud of you!

We love you...

The three kneel on the floor, embracing one another and a vision of you holding them as children comes to mind. You caress their heads and smile.

You were safe, you were enough, you were loved and you were home.

- I love you both so much...

- I'm so sorry sweetheart...

You close your eyes and embrace them again.They both wipe their tears and the three of you laugh, Gyutaro places a hand on your belly and Daki does the same.

We love you too lil' one