Shadestorm's pov
Shadestorm padded out of the warrior's den. She stretched, enjoying the warmth of the sunshine that danced on her gray pelt.
It had been a while when the sun had shined this warmly. It certainly feels like this leafbare has been going on for forever. It'll be good to have warm weather again.
She had already returned to her warrior duties, and her wound was almost healed now.
Shadestorm sat down near the bushes began to groom herself. Instantly her bored mind went to the past. To one of her earliest memories.
"Mom!" Redkit's voice came from behind the apprentice's den.
The two kits came to halt at Tallpoppy's paws.
"When will we be apprentices?" Shadekit asked.
"Im afraid it is going to be four more moons." Tallpoppy purred, amused.
Shadekit looked at her sister, disappointment in her eyes.The golden eyes that met hers reflected the feeling.
A deeper voice came from behind Tallpoppy.
"The time will pass guicker than you think."
It was Cedarheart, their father. He touched noses with Tallpoppy, and twined his tail with hers. Then he turned to adress his kits.
Shadestorm's memory always got a little blurry at this point. She only remembered her father's golden eyes, so much like Redpaw's.
The thought about Redpaw always made her feel sad. Littlecloud says its normal to grieve. But I only feel guilty every time I remember her. It had been four or five moons, but she still felt that way.
Her mind went back to that faithful day. Redpaw had forgotten to change the elder's bedding and she'd been sent to do so at dusk. Shadepaw had begged to go with her, but Tigerstar had refused.
When she hadn't come back at moonhigh, they had went looking for her. Shadepaw, Tallpoppy and Oakfur had found her body in a clearing, surrounded by fox scent.
It was clear she'd fought back, but an apprentice would have been no match for a full grown fox.
Shadestorm had been heartbroken for a long time, but Tallpoppy had taken the biggest toll. Their whole family had almost been torn apart by the loss, and her parents had barely stayed together.
Now life had gotten a little better. Her clanmates were starting to include her more. Maybe they felt sorry for her, always being on her own. Either way it didn't matter. She was happier than she had been in many moons.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Tawnypaw.
"Russetfur tells me I have to go hunting with you." Her voice was tense.
"Fine. Did she mention where we should go?"
"No." The word was almost spat out.
Russetfur hasnt even been deputy for a quarter moon and she's already more bossy than Blackstar. She probably only made us go togerther because she doesnt like neither of us.
" Lets go then." Shadestorm mewed, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt.
They headed out of the camp, walking in an uncomfortable silence.
Soon they had caught some prey. Neither of them talked, only thanking Starclan for the catch.
When they finally started towards the camp at dusk, Shadestorm was beginning to get nervous. She had never forgotten the way her sister had died in the dark.
Although she would never admit it to anyone, Shadestorm feared darkness. She was a Shadowclan cat after all. Just something about not being able to see around herself made her pelt crawl with ants.
As an apprentice she'd been able to move in the dark as stealthily as any of her clanmates. But after Redpaw's death, that had changed.
Unfortunately for her Tawnypaw scented her fear.
"Scared of the dark, Shadestorm?" She scowled.
Shadestorm felt her neckfur rising defensively. "Im not!"
Tawnypaw just outpaced her and walked at the lead for the rest of the way home. And Shadestorm followed after her, sighing loudly.
...
"Tawnypelt! Tawnypelt!"
As Shadowclan cheered Tawnypelt's new name, Shadestorm felt a tiny bit of happiness. She and Tawnypelt didn't still like eachother, but it was impressive the young she-cat had gotten along in Shadowclan so well.
She noticed that a few warriors, including their deputy Russetfur, weren't chanting. She felt a prickle of irritation. The rest of the clan wont accept her if our deputy can't!
Shadestorm was sitting with her parents. She heard them whispering to eachother.
"I didnt think she would make it. Its impressive." Tallpoppy whispered.
"Its a pretty good accomplishment." Mewed Cedarheart, nodding.
Her attention drifted away from her gossiping parents. Soon she found herself looking at another cat. Blackstar was sitting at the edge of the group, talking with Boulder and Dawncloud.
Soon the Shadowclan leader noticed her staring, and amber eyes met the green ones. Shadestorm suddenly felt shy and lowered her gaze.
Although she couldnt help but notice the way his eyes brightened when their gazes locked. Shining like the sun.
What has gotten into me?
...
Shadestorm laid awake in the warriors den, staring at the ceiling. She was thinking about everything.
First on her mind was the conversation with Tallpoppy this evening.
"I really don't know how to tell you this... But me and Cedarheart are expecting our second litter.
She had looked at Shadestorm with such exitement in her eyes. Shadestorm, not wanting to ruin their moment, forced a purr and meved;
"Im so happy for you!"
There was relief in Tallpoppy's eyes when she purred back;
"It's good you are happy. It'll be about a moon until the birth."
Shadestorm tried to be happy for them, she really did. But she couldn't shake the feeling that Redpaw was being replaced. She was probably childish, but... She didn't even know anymore. My emotions are too complicated these days.
But then an idea struck her. What if I'll go visit Redpaw's grave. Maybe I can have some peace of mind then.
She tried to shake the idea off, and almost succeeded when a voice grumbled from the other side of the den;
"Can you shut it? Some of us have to sleep, you know?"
That sealed her decision. She rose up, and guietly walked out of the den. When she reached the forest, the fear set in. She broke into an unsteady trot, dodging trees and bushes.
She felt like she was being watched, but chalked it up to her fear. You are just too paranoid, you can do this. You are just paranoid, you can do this...
The gray she-cat raced through the forest, heart pounding with fear.
Soon she reached her destination, and arrived at a small clearing. Peering around herself cautiously she crouched at the foot of a small dent on the ground, with stones on top of it.
She wasn't guite sure how to began, but soon the words were there.
"Hey Redpaw its me, Shadestorm. There has been a lot going on recently... Tallpoppy is expecting a new litter, and I don't know how to react. Im happy for her, of course but everything just feels so complicated right now. Tawnypelt still hates me, but my clanmates like me a lot more now. But I don't know about anything else."
Shadestorm let out a hollow laugh.
Somehow she felt almost empty inside. Just hollow and sad.
"I just hope things will get better." She lowered her voice slightly, and felt tears at the corners of her eyes.
"I wish you were still with me, Redpaw. Everything would be so much easier."
Shadestorm curled up close to the stones surrounding the grave, and sobbed guietly. I can't do this without you. You promised we would always be sisters.
Just then she heard a rustle in the bushes behind herself. She instantly leaped up, demanding; "Who is there?"
For a moment there was silence, but then, to her horror, Tawnypelt stepped out of the bushes.
