As much as Tohru hoped to enjoy their lunch, getting a handle on herself ended up taking almost the entire time. By the time the bell rang, she'd managed to completely stop crying and started to look relatively normal, but she never did manage to join in the conversation or do much more than sit and listen.
She would have to make a better effort with the rest of the day.
Still, it felt nice to head down the stairs with everyone, feeling the gentle pats from her friends or the way they squeezed her hand as they all made their way down to their respective floors and classrooms. Lunch might not have gone exactly as she hoped, but at least she'd still gotten to be with everyone else. And ultimately, that was all that mattered.
In spite of Tohru's fears, the afternoon passed uneventfully. She almost laughed at one point, as they were all passing in their math textbooks and she felt the strange urge to cry; never in her life would she have thought she'd get emotional about a textbook, especially not a math one. That tiny bit of awareness saved her, and when she glanced over and noticed Arisa looking at her, she was able to give her friend a bright smile that Arisa returned with relief. She would get through this.
Finally, they were down to their very last class: Japanese, with their homeroom teacher Sensei Shiraki. And like every other class, they went through some motions before Sensei had them all turn in their books. This one was admittedly harder; although Japanese was also a challenging class, it had been Sensei Shiraki's class. Though they would still have homeroom tomorrow and Sensei would be with them pretty much until they left the building after graduation, she had been their homeroom teacher for their entire high school career; in many ways, she'd been the most constant adult in Tohru's high school life.
And it was hard, seeing her standing up there, talking to them about the next day and reminding them about what to do and how to act as they said goodbye.
Tohru swallowed hard, thinking about so many moments over the past three years. The very first homeroom, thinking Sensei seemed so very strict and scary, worried about disappointing her or attracting her attention in a negative way. The realization that Sensei was actually a passionate and very kind teacher who never let herself be outwardly frustrated by any struggles Tohru or any other 'less gifted' students had had.
Sensei's support in the horrible dark days after Kyoko's death.
Tohru stared down at her desk, trying not to remember that period she even now did her best to block out. When everything had seemed dark and pointless, when she'd asked herself so many times if it was even worth it to keep trying. She'd been going to high school for Kyoko, and Kyoko was gone...did any of it really matter, anymore?
There had been so many people there beside her, doing what they could to support her. Arisa and Saki; her grandfather. Even the rest of her father's family had been doing something, if just trying to ensure she had a place to live.
And then there had been Sensei Shiraki, doing her best to keep Tohru from falling off at school. Coordinating notes and homework, making sure she had extra hours tutoring available to her. Working with the other faculty and the administration and reaching out to Tohru and her grandfather directly, asking what she could do to help...
There had been so many things, over the years. So many little things, so many moments where Tohru had looked up at Sensei, beaming in amazement that she'd been lucky enough to get this teacher. Tohru knew that she would have been privileged to have any of her teachers for her homeroom, but Sensei Shiraki was special.
And Tohru really, really wished she'd actually been able to figure out Sensei's connection to both Shigure and Hatori, prior to graduation. But there were some answers, at least, that school hadn't been able to provide.
"Alright, so I think that pretty much covers everything," Sensei Shiraki said, looking around the room. "Remember to be on time in the morning. You all might be graduating, but you still need to show up, on time," she said, fixing a couple students in her piercing stare, "properly dressed," she continued, sweeping her gaze over them all. "Tomorrow is the last chance for all of you to make a good impression on behalf of Kaibara High, 3-D, and me, for that matter," she said, her mouth twitching slightly in suppressed amusement, "so try to do your best, ok?"
"Yes, Sensei," the whole class repeated obediently, and Sensei gave them all a smile.
"Well, I think that's all for me. Do any of you have any questions?"
The silence was almost deafening, and after a moment, Sensei straightened up.
"Alright then. Make sure to remind your families that seating starts at nine-thirty. I'll see you all in the morning."
With that, Sensei took her leave, and there was a scraping of chairs as the class all stood up to get to the business of cleaning.
Arisa and Saki were at Tohru's side before she'd even finished standing.
"So, we're supposed to be at your place at six tonight, right Tohru?"
Tohru took a breath, then smiled. "That's right! I know it's a little late," she said, her tone apologetic, "but with so many things going on for so many of us-"
"Hey, you don't have to apologize to us, we get it," Arisa said, giving her a grin. "Believe me, I'm just happy to have the extra time."
"Are you sure there isn't more we can do to help, dear Tohru?" Saki asked, and Tohru thought for a moment.
"Well, it really depends on what time I start back home, but if it looks like I'll be at all early I'll let you both know, ok?"
"Sounds great," Arisa smiled. "After all, this little shindig is in your honor too, Tohru, you don't have to do all the grunt work yourself."
"It's not grunt work!" Tohru immediately protested, and both of her friends laughed.
"Whatever, Tohru, just make sure you tell us."
"Indeed. We'll cherish any additional time we can get."
Once cleaning was over, it was time to leave. After swapping their school slippers for their outdoor shoes they all headed out, Tohru and Kyo saying goodbye to Arisa, Saki, and Yuki as the three of them all departed for their own afternoon plans.
Haru and Momiji were waiting for them at the courtyard gate, and Kyo said nothing as Momiji promptly fell into step beside Tohru and took her hand in his.
"So tonight should be fun, don't you think, Tohru?" Momiji asked, and Tohru had to smile at Momiji's cheerful voice. She had always admired his ability to look at things positively; it was something she'd always tried to do herself, but always found much easier in the theory than the practice. Momiji had always been better at it than her; even now, when she knew that he was sad himself, he was doing what he could to keep Tohru's spirits high.
"Yes, I do," Tohru said, squeezing Momiji's hand and giving him her best smile. "It's going to be so nice to see everyone, and to all be able to spend some quality time together! I have a great meal planned, and the games all sound really fun!"
Tohru was doing her best to emulate Momiji's cheer, but it was admittedly hard. That evening, many of their friends were coming to the house; Momiji, Haru, and Rin; Kisa and Hiro. Arisa and Saki, and even Machi. With graduation the next day, all of them would be busy; Yuki had plans with his student council friends that afternoon, and with his brother and Mine later that evening. Saki would be with her family, and Arisa with her father. Even Tohru and Kyo would be busy, first with Kazuma, then with Tohru's grandpa. The day after that, Tohru and Kyo had to clean out their rooms and pack their things so that the movers could take all of the furniture, as well as give the house one last thorough cleaning...
And then they'd be off to the dojo, to spend their final night in Tokyo.
Everyone coming to the house that night would also be at the dojo for their sendoff on that last morning, and Momiji, Hatsuharu, and Machi would all be at graduation tomorrow, obviously. But tonight was the last chance they'd all have just to hang out together; to relax, and talk, and just have fun.
Tohru hoped she didn't get too emotional. She didn't want to ruin anything else with her tears, not when everything was getting so close to the end; not this afternoon, not tonight, not graduation itself...
Not the walk, happening literally right now.
Momiji's grip on her hand tightened as Tohru sniffled, and he quickly rallied a defense. "So what are we having for dinner tonight, Tohru? Or is it going to be a surprise?"
Tohru wiped her eyes with her other hand and gave him a grateful look. "Shabu-shabu! And Kyo helped me make some gyoza earlier this week, so we'll have those, too, then Uo-chan and Hana-chan were going to stop by the bakery on their way over and pick up something for dessert. No one should be hungry," she said, and Momiji grinned.
"That all sounds wunderbar, Tohru. Everything you make is always delicious, and that sounds like the perfect meal for a party!"
"I hope so," Tohru said, smiling. "Especially with the drinks and snacks you, Hatsuharu, and Isuzu are bringing!"
"Ja, well, we can't have a party without snacks, right? Otherwise how are we going to have energy to keep playing games?" Momiji asked, grinning at her. "I've been waiting my entire life to see Kyo committed to a game night, so you can believe no one is crashing out early if I can help it."
"Watch, it, Rabbit," Kyo said from behind them. "I can still back out, you know."
"Oh, but you wouldn't really, would you?" Tohru asked, looking at him anxiously. "It all sounds like so much fun!"
Kyo gave Tohru a look that mixed affection and annoyance. "Maybe for some people."
Haru gave Kyo an amused glance. "Really, Kyo? I'd have thought you'd be jumping at the chance to try beating Yuki at a few other things before you guys leave."
Kyo snorted at that. "I don't gotta prove myself to Yuki or anyone else, I'm not gonna do something I don't wanna do just to try to beat him."
"But you'd do it because it was fun, right?" Tohru asked, still looking nervous, and that time Kyo's look was amused resignation.
"Yeah, I'll do stuff 'cause it's fun. As long as certain people aren't being little shits about it," he said, glaring at Momiji, and Momiji laughed.
"I am never a shit, little or otherwise, so you can rest easily on my account, Kyo. We'll just have to make sure Hiro behaves himself, ja?"
"Yeah, Hiro," Kyo said, his voice so full of sarcasm that even Tohru had to giggle. And at her giggle, Kyo's whole expression softened, and he gave her a smile.
"I'm not saying I'm gonna back out, not now, anyway," he said, and Tohru broke out in a relieved smile of her own. "As long as no one gives me crap about it," he repeated, looking from Haru to Momiji, "I'll play. Just like I've been saying, even since we first started talking about this."
Goodness knew Kyo wasn't the one who'd proposed a game night, a party night, or any other kind of social night of any kind. If he had his way, his afternoon would involve attending his very last karate class at the Sohma dojo, teaching his very last class at the Sohma dojo, and having Tohru join him for dinner with Kazuma before going home, having a quiet evening to themselves, and then falling asleep together at a reasonable hour.
Instead, he was resigned to most of that not happening; he got to have the karate part, at least, but then it would be straight back to the house to make dinner there amidst a final flurry of activity that was sure to go way too late since out of the entire group, he was the only one who seemed to have literally any qualms about getting a good night sleep.
Or he might just be the only one unenthusiastic about having a party the night before graduation.
But Tohru was looking forward to this, and it was the very last night he actually had to deal with any of them. The next evening would be admittedly challenging in its own right; Tohru's grandfather wanted to take them out for dinner 'with the family,' aka Tohru's aunt and uncle.
Both of whom Kyo happened to dislike. Immensely.
But at least Grandpa would be there, so that was something. And the night after, they'd be at the dojo, so tonight was the last chance that any of their friends would really have to spend time with Tohru besides the big sendoff.
He could be a good sport, knowing that the end was in sight, even if it did mean staying up too late and playing some annoying games.
Eventually, it was time for Kyo and Hatsuharu to peel off for the dojo, and Kyo gave Tohru a smile as they said goodbye.
"You'll meet me at the dojo after you're done?"
Tohru nodded, returning the smile. "That's right! I don't know if I'll take as long as you, but I'll see you at Master Kazuma's house after your last class is over," Tohru said, her voice faltering slightly over the word 'last.'
It really was his last class, as far as the Sohma Dojo was concerned.
They were all quiet for a moment after that comment, the words hitting harder than Tohru had intended. Even Kyo's previously cheerful smile had slipped, and for a moment, his expression was sad. But then he shook his head, lifting it up and looking at her.
"Sounds like a plan. You have a good time, and I'll see you after class," he said, leaning over and giving her a kiss. Then Kyo and Haru were on their way, and Tohru and Momiji continued on together, deeper into the Sohma estate.
For little while they walked in silence, then Momiji's voice came, softly. "It makes me happy, Tohru, knowing you're so happy."
He sounded so serious that at first Tohru didn't know what to make of it; only a short time earlier, he had been teasing Kyo about party games, but now there was no hint of laughter in his earnest tone.
It was almost enough to make Tohru cry.
"I am happy, Momiji," she said, her voice equally soft. "So very, very happy...but sad, at the very same time," she said, squeezing his hand tightly.
"Ja, I know. And I know it sounds selfish," he admitted, "but it makes me...happy to know that, too," he said, looking sideways at her. "Because I want you to be happy, Tohru; truly, I do. But I am going to miss you, so very much," he continued, looking back down at the ground, "and knowing that it makes you sad to leave...no matter how happy you are to go...that makes it a little easier."
The small hitch in Momiji's was too much for Tohru, and she felt her eyes tearing up for what felt like the millionth time. It wasn't the first time Momiji had cried with her; out of everyone she'd be leaving behind, Momiji and Kisa were vying for the title of 'most frequent crier.' But that didn't make the current moment any easier.
"It was always going to make me sad, Momiji," she said, sniffling slightly. "Because I love you, all of you, so very much. I'm going to miss seeing you every day, and spending time with you. You'll have to make sure you're sending me lots of pictures," she said, giving him a teary-eyed smile. "And telling me about school, and about...everything!"
"Everything?" Momiji asked, laughing slightly through tears. "'Everything' might be a tall order, Tohru."
"Everything you can, then," she said, looking a little sheepish. "I just...I just don't want us to stop talking, Momiji, or to stop being such good friends!"
Momiji was quiet for a moment, and for that moment Tohru felt her heart lurch.
Was she coming off as too needy? Putting too much pressure on him? Or was he offended that she'd even think they could stop being such good friends?
She was about to apologize when Momiji's grip on her hand tightened, and he was once more smiling at her.
"Don't worry, Tohru. No matter what, I will never stop being your friend."
Tohru and Momiji walked together until they reached Momiji's house. By then their tears had dried, and they were both smiling as Momiji let go of her hand to unlock his house.
"Well, I will see you this evening, Tohru; I look forward to your delicious meal, and to us maybe beating Kyo at a game or two," he said, his eyes twinkling. And he looked so mischievous that Tohru had to giggle herself; as much as she knew Kyo was participating under duress, she had always loved this side of Momiji.
And though she'd never admit it to anyone, Kyo was cute when he pouted.
"I'll see you this evening, Momiji," she said, waving as he stepped into the house. Then it was just Tohru, left to finish her little journey alone.
There had been a time when Tohru had been nervous about being inside the main estate, even with Hatori or Momiji at her side. Even now that she had an open invitation to be there, she still couldn't quite shake the feeling that she was trespassing...but it had gotten much, much easier to ignore it.
After all, her friend wanted her to visit.
And as intimidating as it was to walk along the main house itself, she held her head high as she walked along the outer deck down to Akito's door and knocked.
"Who is it?"
At the sound of Akito's questioning but slightly eager voice, Tohru's smile widened, and she called back, "It's Tohru!"
After a moment the door slid open, and Tohru immediately stepped forward to wrap the other woman in big hug. "It's so nice to see you, Akito!"
"And you, Tohru," Akito said, returning the hug. "I know how busy you are just now, and I would have understood if you didn't have time to stop by-"
"-Oh, but I really wanted to," Tohru said eagerly as she followed Akito into the room. "Especially since-" she broke off, hesitating, then gave her friend a questioning look. "You haven't changed you mind, have you?"
Akito shook her head decisively. "No, I haven't. Yuki and Kyo deserve to celebrate their achievements without me making uncomfortable, them or anyone else, either. And you deserve to celebrate without having to worry about me," she said, giving Tohru a small smile.
Tohru was admittedly disappointed, but she understood. Akito had always been honest with her: as much as she would have liked to be there for Tohru's graduation, or to say goodbye the day Tohru and Kyo left, it simply wouldn't be a good idea. Since the last time Akito had summoned the former Zodiac members to the estate less than a week after the Curse broke, Yuki had never been back to the main estate, or even so much as spoken Akito's name in Tohru's hearing. And while Kyo had been accepting of Tohru's friendship with the family head and Tohru knew he was grateful about some of the things Akito had done for him, she knew and understood that there were some wounds that ran too deep to easily or quickly heal.
Having Akito present at graduation or the sendoff might make Tohru happy, but it would hurt several people Tohru cared about, including Akito herself. So much as Tohru might have wished things could be different, she was content enough with the way things were; today, at least, she got to see Akito one last time.
And Akito was clearly happy to see her too, as both of them sat down on either side of the small table where Akito had tea and some snacks. The smile she gave Tohru was genuine, if small, and once again Tohru was struck with the realization of how far they'd both managed to come in the past eight months. Comparing the terrified, violent Akito from that horrible day in the rain with the friend who now sat beside her was like seeing two totally different people.
"So today was your last day of school," Akito said softly, pouring Tohru a cup of tea. "Was it...nice?"
Tohru let out a small sigh, unable to be anything other than disappointed in how she'd handled the day. "It could have been," she said after a moment, "but I had a very hard time, with most of it," she admitted, accepting the tea and looking down into it. "I was mostly ok, up until graduation rehearsal, but after that it was just...hard," she repeated, glancing up and giving Akito a half-smile.
Akito understood completely. "It is hard," she said quietly, taking her own tea cup in her hands. "When something is your whole life for so long, having to say goodbye to it, and to the people involved in it, is hard. It's always going to be hard, even if you know that what's coming next is a good thing. Leaving the familiar...going out into the unknown...I feel like that always has to be difficult."
Then Akito smiled, turning her head to look at Tohru. "But I remember someone showing me, once, that it doesn't have to be scary."
Tohru smiled in spite of herself, remembering Akito's nervous expression when she'd first walked into Tohru's hospital room, the day after Tohru's fall. When Akito had been hesitant and unsure, right up until Tohru had reached out her hand...and Akito had taken it.
Tohru thought about the uncertain future she was walking towards, the future still filled with so many question marks. She didn't know what kind of job she'd have yet, or how long it would take her to find it. How many rejections she might face in the process. She didn't know what kind of neighbors they'd have, and if they'd be friendly. She didn't have any clue at all how well she'd fit into their new community, or what kind of reception she and Kyo would receive as an unmarried couple. And as much as she was endlessly confident in Kyo's abilities and knew that he'd be a wonderful teacher, she had no idea what his new coworkers would think of her.
The uncertainties were admittedly intimidating. There had been times, in planning their move, where Tohru had felt almost completely overwhelmed. But all she needed was one person to reach out their hand to her, to be there with her and remind her she wasn't alone...and she already had that.
She had Kyo.
And with Kyo beside her, she knew that everything, no matter how intimidating, would always work out.
Tohru took a deep breath, then gave Akito a smile. "No, it really doesn't. And as much as I'm going to miss everything, and everyone, here...I'm not afraid, Akito. I'm happy, for what's coming next."
A future, and a life, with Kyo.
"I just have to get there," she admitted, a rueful look on her face. "And getting there...saying goodbye...that's the hardest part. Sometimes I almost just want to leave in the middle of the night, without saying anything to anyone." As much as it would hurt to just be gone, at least then she wouldn't have to say goodbye.
Akito nodded. "I can understand that. But for what it's worth, I'm glad you aren't," she said, smiling over at Tohru. "I'm glad...that you're giving us a chance to see you, one last time."
And Tohru's smile was sweet as she looked back at her friend.
"I am, too."
