Nightmares (5)
Over the next few days, Lena could say without hesitation that Abuelo's voice was her favorite. He always greeted her in the morning when she stepped out of her room and stayed to chat with her while she did her chores.
She could hear him in and around Casita, but if she ventured halfway down the hill it faded and the other voices got louder. A few of them screamed and shouted at her, scaring her so badly that she would start crying and she had to be carried back home by her papa, tio Agustin or on rare occasion tio Bruno.
When mama asked what had happened she described it as being in a crowded room and everyone wanting to talk to her all at the same time. Her mama looked sad at this and just hugged her and promised they would try to find a way to make it easier for her to go into the village.
She had been practicing with Dolores on how to focus on only one or two voices at a time and ignore the rest and had managed to successfully get through walking the entire village but stopped short of the church.
It was an unassuming white building that almost looked like a house except for the bell white tower that stretched upward to the sky. The red doors were open and normally welcoming (padre believed in welcoming people at all times of the day not just Sundays) but a chill ran down her spine and the whispers started gradually but as she got closer they grew louder and louder.
Why am I stuck here?
Where is my mama?
Why can't I get out?
Help me!
Can anyone hear me?
What happened to me?
She clamped her hands over her head in a vain attempt to get them to stop, but they seemed to echo off the bare walls and the vaulted ceiling and only grew more agitated as she tried to walk closer.
She tried to breathe in and out slowly to focus on one, maybe two of them, and found them too loud and too much.
Help me!
Save me!
Where are my children?
Her feet were frozen to the spot right in front of the church as the voices screamed demanding attention and she could only stand there frozen with her hands over her ears wanting it to stop, her breath came in short gasps as she struggled for air, it was like being underwater.
Through blurry vision she saw the yellow of her papa's shirt but couldn't hear him over the voices. She wanted to tell him that it was too loud and that it hurt her head and she wanted to go home to Casita, but could only manage to cry.
She felt warm hands on her and was weightless for a moment before it registered that her papa had picked her up and was carrying her away. After what seemed like eternity the voices faded and she removed her hands from her ears and her arms wrapped around his neck
"Lo siento papa,'' she murmured
"You have nothing to apologize for, pequeña" he kissed her forehead gently. "Now we know to avoid that road, hmm?"
She nodded and sniffled.
Breakfast the next morning was quieter than normal until Abuela broke the silence.
"Dolores, can you go help your Tia pass out food today?"
Her twin looked upset and Lena quickly picked up on it.
"Can I go instead, Abuela? "
Her grandmother looked at her with concern, "Are you sure? After yesterday I thought you may want to rest…"
"Estoy bien. I haven't helped Tia since before the ceremony, please?" Lena begged and tried to give her the best sad look she could.
Abuelo and Abuela both chuckled at the same time and she smiled brightly.
"Okay, but be careful."
"Gracias!" She chirped excitedly and went back to her plate.
Slow down eating neita. Abuelo chuckled in her ear.
She was still too short to actually set up the table, but was able to hand Tia Julieta the tablecloth, plates, and small bottles of herbs. The actual bowls of food were a bit trickier and required both hands and were heavy.
"Gracias Lena. "
Everything was arranged and her tia nodded approval as the first person approached. They had a large black eye and a few cactus quills on their pants.
"Chasing the donkeys into the cactus again José? "Her tia asked softly as she offered him a plate filled with bunuelos
"They are always escaping," he lamented with a full mouth.
"Lena, could you help Senor get the quills out?"
She nodded and stepped forward." Hold still Senor."
She pulled them out, careful not to stab herself in the process.
"Gracias! "he said gratefully.
"Stay away from the cacti!" her tia called after her
"I will! "
"He won't," her aunt whispered to her.
Lena giggled.
They worked together through half the line as the sun crept slowly across the sky until it was beating down on both of them. The air was humid and Lena fanned herself with her hand.
"We'll take a break and have lunch in a bit," her tia promised.
¿Dónde está el amor de mi vida? a low voice rumbled like thunder next to her.
Lena jumped a little at the suddenness of the voice which earned her a concerned look from her Tia that she waved off.
Disculpé pequeña, the voice chuckled good naturedly, mi amor always says that I'm too loud.
What does she look like? I can help you find her. Lena offered.
Aye mi amor, the voice sighed longingly, her hair is gold like the sun's rays and her laughter is like angels… ah there she is el amor de mi vida.
A woman approached the stand who had two long braids of hair that shone in the sunlight like well… gold on each side of her head.
"Hola, Senora Fuentes," tia Julieta greeted with a warm smile, "Siento mucho lo de tu marido. Did you want an empanada?"
The woman smiled sadly, "Gracias Julieta, but no." and looked down at Lena nervously, "I wasn't here for you."
"Oh?"
The woman bent down so she was eye level with Lena.
"Por favor, Can you hear him? "
Lena nodded "Si. "
Senora Fuentes smiled sadly at her for a moment before reaching out to touch her hands holding them into her own.
Lena felt a small jolt of electricity, like one of her Mama's lightning bolts go through her, and then the world was silent.
She couldn't hear the bird chirping in the trees, the noise of the carts on the cobblestones or the steady clumping of the donkey's hooves pulling them as they passed by or even the whispering of the spirits.
She wanted to shake her head to get the sound back but found that she couldn't, her head wouldn't move. She tried several times but found it as immovable as the bricks of Casita.
She decided to try to tell Senora that something was wrong, but found that her lips were also not obeying. In fact she felt the rumbling of her own voice in her chest but had no idea what she was saying.
The rumbling stopped and Senora responded to her, she tried to follow her lips but found the woman spoke too fast. Lena wanted to ask her to slow down and that she couldn't hear and to please speak slower.
A sliver of panic rode in the base of her spine worried that she may scare senora if she said the wrong thing. She really wanted to help but she couldn't hear and it's hard to listen if you can't hear. Papa always told her to listen carefully to people to truly understand what they needed help with and right now she couldn't do that.
She felt guilt wash over her, she had just gotten her gift and was already making a mess of things her mama would be upset with her.
She felt arms wrap around her and she was pulled into an embrace and slowly the sounds of the world came back as if she had emerged from being underwater.
"Bless you Lena and bless the madrigals." the woman whispered softly before letting her go.
"De nada Senora." she responded automatically, trying not to cry at the sheer relief that she could hear again.
Gracias pequeña
She nodded her head slightly and closed her eyes suddenly exhausted at everything that had transpired.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped slightly.
"Lo siento, Are you okay?" Her tia asked above her.
She nodded afraid that if she said something about what just happened she would upset he tia.
The healer gave her a dubious look, " You look a little pale. Perhaps we should get you into the shade for a bit."
"Okay."
She sat under the shade of one of the trees and drank some freshly squeezed pineapple mango juice by her aunt's insistence, having politely refused the offer of empanadas, bunuelos and patacones.
She didn't want to spoil her appetite for dinner nor did she want to admit that she felt off and in a way that she couldn't describe as if the hunger she had had before talking to Senora Fuentes was erased and there was for lack of a better word nothing there.
The feeling only grew worse when she sat at the dinner table and she picked at the arroz con pollo with dismay. It looked amazing, and as much as she loved her Tia's cooking, the very thought of putting the food into her mouth made her stomach flip. So she sipped on her water while everyone else ate and pushed the food across her plate.
"Lena, stop playing with your food." her mama scolded
"Lo siento." she whispered, unable to look at it anymore and refusing to meet the concerned eyes of her mother.
"You barely touched it. " Her mother's cold hands reached out and touched her forehead.
Lena closed her eyes and hummed for a moment at the brief contact. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Just tired" She admitted, "Can I be excused?"
"Of course. Go get some rest."
"Gracias" She nodded and pushed herself away from the table.
She frowned slightly as a wave of dizziness hit her but headed towards her room not catching the worried glances of the adults left at the table.
Sleep claimed her pretty quickly and she found herself climbing a ladder to examine the roof of the market. The hail had done damage from last week's heavy rain storm she knew but it had been hard to pinpoint where exactly the tiles were leaking.
After several attempts she had finally found the broken tile and was attempting to reach for it when the ladder heart slammed into her chest as she reached for the gutter to pull herself back but it was too late as the ground came rushing up to meet her.
She felt pain, the back of her head throbbed loudly with each heartbeat but the pain in her right leg is what pulled her back into consciousness.
She tried to move to ease the pain but found that she couldn't. Not her arms, not her legs and most certainly not her neck.
Why couldn't she move?
Her eyes snapped open as fear and panic began to tighten its grip on her. She couldn't move.
Why couldn't she move?
She wanted to move.
She felt the ground vibrate with movement around her as the muffled noises of voices began to surround her. She tried to shake her head to better hear it but couldn't.
Blurry figures approached her, she wanted to shrink away but was frozen in her position as hands began to touch her face.
Slowly the muffled voices turned into something tangible someone asked what happened.
She wanted to tell them that she was on the ladder checking the roof and had finally found the tiles causing the leaks and that she fell and couldn't move but her tongue felt like lead and could only manage to say 'ladder, leg, hurt"'
Hopefully they could figure it out because now she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.
The hands tapped her on the face. She was annoyed couldn't they see she was in pain and tired?
She grumbled under her breath.
The voices begged her to stay awake, asking more questions that she didn't have the strength to answer, nor care to.
Someone tried to move her and her entire body felt like it was on fire and she screamed.
Blessed Darkness engulfed her quickly after.
Pequeña wake up, Abuelo whispered softly to her.
She frowned, confused, she never heard him in her room before, "Abuelo?"
Si nieta.
She cracked one eye open and immediately closed it again as the sunlight reflected off the rug nearly blinded her.
Come on nieta time to get up he chuckled lightly.
She frowned the last thing she remembered was going to her room and crawling into bed after leaving the dinner table. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.
The door opened and her mama walked in with a gray cloud over her head looking worried.
"Thought I heard you talking to Papá. ¿Cómo te sientes esta mañana?"
"Tired." Lena admitted as her mama sat next to her.
"Anything else?" Her mom asked gently and then ran her fingers through her hair.
Lean moved so her mama had full access to it and began to braid it.
"No por que?"
"What happened yesterday?"
"I was with Tia yesterday passing out food and Senora Fuentes came and asked if I could hear her husband and I could, he wanted to speak with her and… " she faltered just as her mama hit a snag in her hair finishing up the braid. She didn't honestly remember what happened but she knew she had helped and that was what counted, right? "She thanked me."
" Your Tia said you looked sick after that and you barely touched your you remember having a nightmare?" Her mama finished the second braid and tucked the ends neatly in.
Lena moved to face her mama who looked sad and worried. "Did I wake anyone up? Lo siento, Mama I didn't mean to."
Her mama hugged her "I know Lena, I know. It's okay now, you're okay. You just gave us a scare last night, that's all. Want to come down for breakfast, we saved you some. Your papa and Tio Agustin took your cousins and sister to the market. Did you want to join them?"
She wrinkled her nose, "No, it's too noisy."
"Noisy?"
"It's only Abuelo here. Can I stay with him and Tio Bruno today?"
"Of course, maybe he'll tell you a story."
