It had been two years since she last tried to summon the spirit of her long lost Tio Bruno in the presence of her familia. The memory of her twin's stricken face was still etched in the back of her mind from the last attempt and she vowed to herself to push forward alone even as the shadow of failure continued to follow her.

The one place left to try was the church, the one place that repelled and attracted her at the same time. If his spirit wasn't at Casita, then surely it would be there. The only problem was getting past the threshold to get in, the voices always started softly and grew louder and louder as she got closer.

She pushed herself each week to get closer and closer.

So far she had made it up the five stone steps and almost to the door before they started.

Where am I?

Where are my children?

Can anyone hear me?

Where is my family?

What am I doing here?

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and attempted to focus on tuning them out. This was the closest she had ever been to stepping into the church and wasn't going to fail, not today. The voices faded slightly and she was just about to step in when something touched her hand and a voice beside her whispered.

"You're very sweaty."

She jumped at the sound, pulling away instinctively as her eyes snapped open and in doing so lost her balance and would have fallen backwards down the steps if the same hand hadn't grabbed her wrist suddenly to steady her.

"Lo siento, I didn't mean to startle you." The owner of the hand, a teenage girl around her age said apologetically.

Once Lena regained her balance she noticed several things about the girl next to her. The first was the slight height difference, which if Lena was being honest with herself, the first thing she noticed about anyone was how much shorter she was than everyone. Even Camilo was gaining height on her and he was only nine.

The second, was the wispy half curly, half wavy honey blonde hair that ran past the girl's shoulders and honestly looked like there had been a fight between the hair textures and neither had won, so they coexisted messily.

The last and most puzzling was the long black ruffled skirt and short sleeved white blouse, both had embroidered orange, red and yellow flowers and green leaves on them. Lena couldn't recall ever seeing anyone wear black unless they were in mourning and the girl next to her certainly didn't look like she was in mourning.

"Sorry about that." Lena absently, wiping her hands on her skirt more out of embarrassment than anything else.

"No, I'm sorry for startling you like that." the girl apologized again and gave her a slight smile," It just looked like you could use a hand."

Lena blinked at the comment, then her brain caught up to it and she snickered despite herself.

"I probably shouldn't have been so direct or had at least warned you first. I've been told I tend to sneak up on people, not that I mean to really it just happens, apparently…"

Lena blinked, shocked that someone was actually talking to her, without her family being there, and wasn't asking her to channel a spirit.

The girl stopped suddenly in her rambling and gave her a concerned look, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, I -" Lena started but found herself at a loss for words and frowned inwardly, what was wrong with her today?

The girl held out her hand, "Natalia."

"What?"

Had nearly falling down the church steps startled her so badly that she couldn't form more of a sentence than that?

"I'm Natalia." the girl said confidently, giving her a bright smile, "This is the part where you take my hand and we shake and we walk into the church because obviously you want to go in, but won't go alone. "

Lena gave her a confused look.

"I've seen you standing at this same spot for weeks, "Natalia shrugged, as a blush creeped in on her face and it was then that Lena noticed the faint freckles that dotted her nose, " not that I'm being creepy or anything, but it's clearly obvious you want to go in and you're waiting on something or someone so… "

With a shrug she offered a hand and Lena took it hesitantly.

They stepped past the threshold of the door and inside the sanctuary. Lena found herself surprised that the voices weren't nearly as loud as they had been before and she nearly laughed with relief.

"Better?"

She nodded, afraid that speaking would break the peaceful spell that had been somehow cast over her. Not wanting to let go of the hand that held hers, afraid that if she did the voices would come back screaming their demands as they always had and she would be forced to turn around and run to the comfort of Casita.

The thought of which grew like a sudden storm cloud looming over the horizon with the unspoken promise of heavy rains, before it could even begin, she felt a reassuring squeeze. The cloud shifted from dark to gray, to white and began breaking up, revealing clear peaceful skies again. She didn't even need to say the mantra to herself, it just happened without a single word being uttered.

"¿Estás bien?" Natalia whispered so that only she could hear, despite the church being empty, "You look like you've seen a ghost. "

Lena wanted to laugh at the irony of the statement, but it came out as a half sob as relief just flooded her with the realization that she had not been abandoned.

"Vamos, Vamos." The hand that held hers pulled her gently out the church.

The bright sunlight of the afternoon blinded Lena temporarily and she raised her other arm up to shield her eyes.

"Where are we going?" She asked when she found her voice a few moments later.

"To my home, it's not far. " Natalia reassured her, " I'm not going to leave you alone. Come on."

Natalia took her hand and practically dragged her down the worn dirt path that led away from the church and towards the marketplace, past a very familiar orange and blue painted building at the edge of the marketplace.

A broad shouldered man wearing a white shirt and hat nearly as tall as her Tio Agustin, was standing outside of the building sweeping the steps with a broom when he stopped at the sight of them.

She tensed at the thought of him stopping them and asking to channel a spirit, and was pleasantly surprised when the man smiled and waved.

"Hola, hija."

"Hola, Papá!" Natalia replied brightly and waved with her other hand, not letting go of Lena's.

Lena could only blink dumbly and whispered, "Your father owns the produce stand?"

Now that she thought about it, she had seen Natalia in passing a time or two. Generally, while trying to corral her younger cousins, who always decide the moment the adults were talking was a brilliant time to begin an impromptu game of tag, which included touching everything in sight while making as much noise as possible.

"Is that a part of the Madrigal magic that you remember everyone in town?" Natalia asked teasingly, as she guided Lena further down the pathway leading to a quiet side of town near the edge of the fields. Finally they came upon a small house with a rickety wooden gate in front of it that groaned in protest at being moved.

The gate itself looked like one strong gust of wind would have blown it away, as it hung stubbornly to one hinge and should have been stepped over, but Lena was far too polite to do so and followed.

"We get quizzed on it daily,'' Lena deadpanned.

Natalia laughed, and it not only lit up her entire face but it was beautiful, Lena really wouldn't mind hearing it more often. As a matter of fact she found herself hoping she would.

"And I thought your brother was the funny one."

"Everyone does." Lena rolled her eyes goodnaturedly.

Natalia smiled back at her and opened the weather worn wooden turquoise door revealing a small but cozy dining room. There was a wooden table in the center of the room with a vase full of multicolored chrysanthemums in it and five shelves built into the walls with various seedlings growing out of bottles, vases and other various containers.

"Bienvenido a casa de amaro." She gestured grandly, and pulled out a wooden chair and gestured for her to sit while she walked a few steps into the kitchen. Lena said obediently and marveled for a moment at the various plants, before her attention was focused back on the glass of magenta liquid that was handed to her.

"Pineapple and passionfruit juice, freshly squeezed this morning from the garden."

The earthy aroma of the drink hit her and she took a sip. The sweetness of the pineapple gave way to the mildness of the dragon fruit and there was an aftertaste of golden citrus.

"Oh, I forgot to mention there's honey in there too, I hope you're not allergic to bees like your Tio."

She blinked, dumbfounded. "What?"

She really needed to work on this speaking to people thing. She had no problems with her familia or strangers wanting to channel a spirit, why was it so difficult with Natalia?

"Your Tio." Natalia repeated patiently and explained, "He's allergic to bees. Bees make honey. If you're allergic, I need to get you to your Tia's cart quickly."

"I'm not allergic," Lena frowned," that I know of."

It was Natalia's turn to blink, as if trying to decide if she was serious or not, "That's good?"

"Sorry, I never really tried to get stung by the bees," she shrugged, "they seemed to like him better than me."

"Well that's good, I mean for you… "Natalia started and blushed slightly, and then realized her mistake and quickly corrected herself," but not him obviously, unless your Tia's nearby then…"

Lena smirked into her glass and took another sip and placed the glass back on the table with a slight shrug," My Tia's used to it and if she's not around someone makes sure there's leftovers nearby. You have a garden?"

Natalia nodded enthusiastically, and her face lit up, "Mama started it before I was born and Papa taught me how to keep up with it. I just love the feel of the dirt and being able to plant something and watch it grow bigger every day. If you feel up to it, I can give you a tour."

That was how she spent her afternoon being guided through the carefully raked pathways and receiving a very detailed tour of the garden that ran behind the house and backed into the fields.

It was dusk by the time she returned home and she politely refused the offer to join everyone at dinner and headed straight to her room. The looks of concern were of course present from her mama and papa and she spent a few moments reassuring them that she was indeed fine, just not hungry. Her hermano, ever the diplomatic one, offered to take her share of the food, to which she just rolled her eyes. Mirabel got up from the table to hug her giving her a worried look to which she reassured her younger prima that again she was fine, just a bit tired from being in town all day.

Once under the covers in her bed, she played the day's events over in her head trying to pinpoint how had she gone from steeling herself to face down the voices in the church alone, to a simple gesture of an offered hand giving her the courage to face down what she had been unsuccessful in doing for the past decade.

Natalia's hand hadn't gotten rid of the voices entirely, but it was as if someone had lowered the volume on the voices. There was a certain peace in that that she couldn't quite find the words to describe. She did know that being back in the church had been nearly a spiritual experience in itself and the peace that flooded her was like a forgiving rain after a vicious drought. It was that feeling of comfort that allowed her to drift to sleep.

She awoke slowly and stretched, her body felt a bit sore as if it had been in one position all night, but she felt well rested and there were no wet blankets, or none that she felt. The usual weighted feeling of dread was missing as she got up and got ready for that day.

There was nothing, but a good nothing, as if the negativity had been washed away, she felt hopeful about seeing Natalia again. Hopeful that maybe she would agree to visit the church again and that this time she would be able to successfully channel and bring her family back somehow.

It was that hope that put a slight bounce in her step as she greeted her aunt cheerily when she entered the kitchen.

"Dios Mio, Lena !" her tia cried, nearly dropping the rolling pin.

"Lo siento, Tia "she said guilty

"It's ok, it's just been awhile since I had company in the kitchen this early in the morning."

Her tia patted her on the shoulder. "No es tu culpa sobrina. Mi hermano used to sneak up on me like that when we were younger. He never meant to do it of course, but it happened often enough."

Her smile turned wistful for a moment and her eyes got a far away look in them before her Tia blinked and it was gone.

"You had us worried yesterday. Do I have to stuff your pockets with food too?"

"No, Tia. I just pushed myself too hard yesterday."

It wasn't a full lie, not entirely, she had pushed herself too hard but just not in the way Abuela would have preferred. A twinge of guilt settled over her for a moment, she hadn't used her gift at all yesterday which meant she needed to try harder today.

"But that's not why you're here." Her tia prompted gently pulling her from her thoughts.

"No." she shook her head slightly as if to clear her thoughts," I want to learn how to make your buñuelos. "

"Oh? "

"Or something as a thank you to… "

"Natalia? Senor Amaro's daughter? "

She froze, worried, what had Dolores overheard and what exactly did she tell Tia Julieta?

"How did you know?"

Her Tia gave her a warm smile, "Your Tio Agustin has been helping her with her garden for months, it's coming along quite nicely from what he says. She even came by a few weeks ago to relocate some of the bees so he gets stung less. I've been meaning to make a basket of food for them. Will you take it over there for me? I've got to go to the market today."

Lena nodded eagerly.

After what seemed like the longest breakfast in her entire life and cleaning up, which Lena would swear took another two years to finish. She found herself finally able to break free of her familia and out of Casita, down the hill and towards Natalia's with a basket of food that her Tia had made.

She carefully opened the gate and tried not to cringe as it creaked in protest and then knocked on the turquoise door.

No answer.

She frowned, wondering if maybe Natalia was at her father's stand helping him or maybe the seedling of doubt sprouted, what if Natalia didn't want to see her again? They had parted ways on good terms she had thought, but what if she had done something or said something and Natalia was on her way to tell Abuela?

The seedling crept it's way through the cracks in her demeanor and threatened to take hold of her chest and squeeze when she heard a voice come from behind the house.

"You two really don't need to shove each other, there's plenty to eat."

Lena frowned, it sounded like Natalia, but who was she talking to?

She strained her ears waiting for a response, but there was none.

Instead Natalia continued on. "See? There's plenty of greens for all of you."

Letting curiosity get the better of her, she walked the small side path that led around the house to see five donkeys in the garden and Natalia speaking to them while they were happily chewing on her crops.

"Are those Senor Osvaldo's donkeys?" she asked in disbelief.

"Hola, Lena, " Natalia greeted brightly, " Si. Luisa hasn't come to pick them up just yet. I think she's running late this morning."

"They get out every day?" Lena asked in a mixture of disbelief and horror as she walked closer.

Natalia worked hard on the garden, the thought of anyone, even animals coming in and messing it up bothered her greatly.

"No, once a week generally, " the owner of the garden replied thoughtfully," I really should just make the donkeys their own little garden. I've been meaning to, just haven't."

"They shouldn't be eating your crops."

"Oh, they're just tired of eating straw all day. I would be too."

Lena blinked at her in disbelief. She had never heard of a villager actively siding with an animal, her Tio Bruno had explained to her long ago that all animals were intelligent and had their own thoughts and feelings and forcing animals to do something they didn't want to was wrong, but she had never encountered anyone who uttered something remotely close to what he had said all those years ago. Nevermind the fact that Natalia wasn't actively mad that her prima was running late for a job.

"But, you worked hard on growing those." she muttered.

Natalia shrugged," Papa doesn't sell turnips very often and they would die in another few weeks, at least they won't go to waste this way. Honestly, it's fine."

"No, it's not". Lena didn't like the way Natalia was resigning herself over to the fate of losing her well tended crops. Regardless if they died or not, they were still her crops and before she could even begin to think about why she felt so protective of them, she stepped forward, handed the basket over and attempted to shoo the donkeys away from the crops. They looked at her blankly as they chewed on the lettuce.

With a resigned sigh, she took the lead from the closest one and attempted to lead it away from the turnips. It moved slightly and she allowed herself a smile. She may not be able to lift all the donkeys and move them away in one go like Luisa, but it was a start.

The donkey started to walk away from the garden and towards the pathway that led to the fields. She made a clicking noise with her tongue to try to redirect the donkey, but apparently that was the wrong noise to make as the donkey began to trot. Dragging her with it. While she was struggling to keep up, she failed to notice the mud puddle the donkey was dragging her towards and was unable to release the reins before she was dragged halfway through it before the donkey stopped suddenly and of course it was that moment that she had also chosen to let go of the reins and absence of the sudden momentum caused her to lose her balance and fall straight into the mud with a wet splat.

Of course she would be punished for attempting to help.

She lay there for a moment in utter disbelief, everything had been going so well up to this point and dreaded getting up, wholly convinced she was a curse and wanting desperately to disappear and make this day unhappen. Everything had gone so well up to this point.

When she managed to pick herself out of the mud and heard someone calling her name, turning to see her prima Luisa standing on the beginning of the mud puddle with a donkey slung across her shoulder looking apprehensive.

"Lo siento mucho, Senorita Amaro. I had to move Senor Rivera's house, it was slanting again. I didn't mean to be so late."

Lena attempted to wipe the mud off her face and flicked it off her hands.

Was that mud in her ear?

That was definitely mud in her ear.

She shook her head slightly in an attempt to get it out, which was pretty counterproductive since she was still standing in the mud puddle. As if on queue the sun began to peer out from behind the big white clouds and shine down directly on her threatening to dry the mud.

With a sigh she trudged through the mud attempting to make it to the edge of the puddle to crawl out knowing that her clothes would be ruined beyond repair and her mama was going to summon the biggest lightning bolt possible summon if she showed up at Casita looking like something that had crawled up from the river banks and made itself at home in Encanto.

Of course she would have tripped and landed with another splat because the universe was not done with her yet. With a resigned sigh she picked herself up again.

"Please Natalia, it's fine really." The gardener replied with a dismissive wave and turned to offer Lena a hand.

The girl in question wanted to protest but received a scowl before giving in and finding herself pulled to her feet by surprising strength.

She blinked in amazement and received a shrug as an explanation.

"But your garden-" her prima protested as she lifted another donkey.

"It will grow back. " Natalia reassured, " but Gracias."

Luisa stopped suddenly and turned to look at her. Lena stifled a giggle at the sheer look of confusion on her prima's face. Lena understood the feeling all too well as it had occurred several times over the past 24 hours. She knew her prima didn't get thanked much for the jobs she did around the village, much less for the ones she showed up late for.

As much as she wanted to give her prima a hug as a reassurance, it was bad enough that she was covered in mud and would have to traipse back to Casita looking like something that had been just fished out of the river bank and she wasn't going to have her prima get scolded as well.

One thing was for sure, her mama was going to have a fit. There was no way for her to sneak into the house and avoid being seen, especially not like this.

Lena sighed, looking down at herself, her clothes were definitely ruined at this point.

"Lo siento, Lena" her prima said as if she was the one to blame for what had happened.

It was Lena's turn to wave a dismissing hand, " I doubt you made the donkeys stubborn, besides it was my fault for not waiting for you."

She shrugged at the admittance, not looking forward to the consequences she would be facing later. She supposed she would add it to the ever growing list of things that she did that disappointed Abuela.

"I might be able to get the mud out, "Natalia piped up, interrupting her spiraling thoughts," but we're going to have to get to the house quickly before it dries. I should have something else for you to wear while they dry."

"Gracias again Luisa" the gardener said politely before taking Lena's hand and pulling her back towards the house.

Any protests of dragging mud through the house were extinguished with the same scowl given earlier and she wisely kept her mouth shut. Natalia ushered her into the bathroom with instructions to take off her skirt and blouse and take a shower. A change of clothes and a towel would be waiting for her once she was done and with that the door was closed and she was alone with her thoughts.

She took a good glance at herself in the small mirror above the sink and wondered how she had possibly been foolish enough to think that she could have redirected the donkeys away from the garden.

Why had she been so protective of the garden in the first place? It wasn't her garden, she had no experience with plants personally other than the flowers Isabela grew. She was pretty sure if she attempted to grow anything it was doomed to die.

She sighed heavily and began to peel away the muddy skirt and blouse and undergarments and stepped into the shower and hoped that the mud wouldn't stain her clothes too bad she would like to live to see Natalia more often.

The water pressure was strong enough for her to get all the mud out of her hair. She would just need to attempt to get her hair dry enough to dry to braid and hope that her sister did not hear what had happened.

When she turned off the shower and pulled back the curtain she was pleasantly surprised to find a towel waiting for her on the bathroom sink along with a change of clothes.

She dried herself first and then vigorously dried her hair, it was far too thick to be fully dried with a towel alone and the longer it had to air dry, the quicker it would fluff up and be too wild to attempt to tame without reinforcements. So she would have no choice but to attempt to braid it semi wet and hope for the best.

She turned her attention to the clothes folded neatly on the sink. There were khaki cotton pants, a white cotton button down shirt and a brown rauna. The pants she found were a bit too long on her and she had to roll up the pant legs. The shirt buttons gave her a bit of trouble as she had some issues aligning them, but she managed to get it fixed after several attempts and tucked the end of the shirt into her pants. The rauna was soft and smelled like freshly dug earth and was a comfortable weight on her chest.

Despite the clothes not fitting perfectly, they felt right, like more puzzle pieces fitting together. She wasn't sure what exactly that meant but she liked the feeling that came with it.

She had just started in on braiding her hair when a knock on the door startled her.

A knock on the door started her out of her thoughts.

"Everything okay?" Natalia asked through the door.

"Si. Whose clothes are these?" She quickly finished up the braids and cracked open the door, suddenly self conscious.

"Papa's, he's got a whole closet full of old clothes and refuses to get rid of them insisting he will fit into them again. Those are from when he was married to mama. Sorry, if they're too big. You wouldn't fit into mine. " she smiled apologetically." I got the mud off your clothes, but it will take a while to dry."

" Gracias," Lena stepped out of the bathroom hesitantly.

Natalia looked at her and nodded in approval.

"I hope you don't mind staying for a bit, they should be mostly dry by this afternoon if the weather holds."

Lena's stomach growled loudly before she could utter a word.

"Did you have breakfast?"

Before she could reply it growled again.

Natalia smiled slightly and led her down the small hallway back to the kitchen and opened the basket on the table, "Your Tia packed too much food for just me & papa."

"Did she? "Lena didn't really pay attention to what was put in the basket this morning, but stepped closer and took a look.

Tia Julieta normally made extras but this was ridiculous, there was enough to feed her entire familia and have leftovers.

After the late breakfast Lena found herself in the garden helping Natalia transfer seedlings to their new homes.

"It's much quicker with two people than one." she explained as she handed over several trays of seedlings before leading her to the back of the garden where some of the dirt was already tilled and watered.

"I've never tried to plant anything. What if it dies?" She asked worried.

Natalia shrugged, "It happens. I've killed things several times over. It's easy to transplant. I'll show you."

Lena took off the rauna at some point as it was too hot and had rolled up the sleeves on the shirt and was more than grateful when it was all done. How Natalia managed to work tirelessly was puzzling, she knew she was going to be sore after this and would probably sneak an arepa or two when she got back to Casita for a pre-dinner snack.

With the last of the dirt covering the seedlings and a final watering, Natalia smiled.

"Thanks again. I've got to check to see if the pitayas are ready to harvest, the baskets are in the house and I'll check on your clothes."

She followed wordlessly and was soon led to the edge of the garden where large cacti grew that had familiar looking fruits on them. Natalia weaved in and out of the large cactus branches quickly harvesting pitaya fruits and putting them in her basket.

Lena felt completely inept and quite sure if she attempted it, she would definitely be in need of her Tia's cooking. A slight breeze blew and Natalia's hair was wrapped around a few of the needles of the plant and Lena stepped forward to untangle it wordlessly.

Natalia paused in her harvesting and turned to her with a smile.

"Gracias. I would have never gotten out of that without help. Papa says I look like a wild woman when I come in from gardening. It sometimes takes hours to get all the debris out of my hair."

"I can imagine."

"I tried to braid it a few times, but it never stays, so I leave it be." She shrugged and put the pitayas in the woven basket that Lena was holding.

Over the next few weeks, she learned that as much as Natalia loved to be in the garden, she was quite forgetful and everything in the garden was labeled at least twice. The seedlings often got three labels in case the rains washed the first two away. The fruit trees often had labels on the branches closest to her height, which were too tall for Lena to reach and properly read, but she found that she didn't mind.

She found herself looking forward to the end of the week, when she would be tasked to help her Tia set up the food cart in the village. Tia Julieta would dismiss her once it was fully set up and she would walk over to Natalia's where they would spend the day gardening and on Saturday mornings they would walk to the church together and stay for as long as Lena wanted.

She had tried to go to the church alone and found the end result the same as they had been since she received her gift. For whatever reason the simple act of Natalia's hand in hers calmed the voices. It was then that the thought of channeling her Tio Bruno occurred to her and it took her nearly a month before she brought it up.

A hand squeeze and a simple "Esta bien?" on the way back from the church showed Lena that her silence had not gone unnoticed and she tried to gather her courage, she could do this. She had been rehearsing this for weeks.

She closed her eyes for a moment," There's something I want to ask and you can say no if you want to it's just…"

Natalia stopped walking and turned to her, "What is it?"

"I want to try to summon my missing Tio Bruno and I can understand completely if you say no it's just …"

"Of course." Natalia said without hesitation, "Do I need to do anything or bring anything?"

Lena blinked, taken aback, no one had ever asked before much less offered, they only asked to summon spirits and were done with her after that.

"How does your gift work, anyway? I never asked, sorry," Natalia looked guilty for a moment," I didn't know if you wanted to even talk about it."

"I don't mind, I'm not sure what you've heard already." she said suddenly, worried that her friend may have heard the rumors.

"Why don't you tell me about your gift?"

"I hear the dead.."when she didn't react, Lena continued nervously, "it's like they whisper to me."

"Do you hear them all the time?"

She nodded. "I've learned to tune them out for the most part, focusing only on the ones I wanted to hear, but there are some places that they are louder than others."

"Like the church?"

She nodded again.

"Do you think your Tio Bruno is there?"

"I've tried to summon him near Casita and haven't had any success. I tried to go there myself the other day, but... " she drifted, not wanting to go into details of how she crawled the hill back up to Casita in so much pain it hurt to even breathe much less think and wound up in her room crying.

"Does it hurt to summon a spirit?"

She blinked in surprise at that question and replied honestly "Not directly no, some spirits are easier to summon than others."

"Did you need any supplies or anything? When did you want to go back?"

"No supplies needed other than yourself. Next week? If that's okay?"

Natalia nodded.

"There is something you need to know, when I channel spirits, I can get disoriented afterwards. So I may not be myself."

The hand in her squeezed her in reassurance.

A week later she arrived at Natalia's house earlier than normal, she had been too nervous to eat during breakfast as her stomach flip flopped repeatedly. She had never attempted to channel Tio Bruno's spirit in front of anyone other than familia before, but she had to try.

She needed to see if he was actually trapped in the church and if he was, maybe, just maybe she could convince Abuela that she wasn't useless and somehow make things right.

She desperately needed to make things right.

"Are you sure about this?" Natalia asked upon opening the door and giving her a look of concern.

Lena nodded, afraid that if she said anything it would somehow cause everything to fail. The small bit of confidence that had been built up over the past few months was like a newly transplanted seedling. Too much wind, rain or sun would doom it to a premature death with no hope of return.

The usual hand was offered to her, she took it and they walked wordlessly to the church. She hesitated for a moment before stepping over the threshold into the sanctuary.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she tried to focus. The hand that held hers was like a tether as she navigated thru the river of voices, there were so many; many were looking for their families, some were confused, others were sad, but his wasn't one of them.

She frowned.

He had to be here.

She tried again and again until pain crept into her temples and the voices got louder.

Why am I here?

What's going on?

Someone help me!

Where is my family?

Where am I?

This wasn't supposed to happen, she was supposed to find her Tio here. She was supposed to make this better, not make them worse.

Why did she always make things worse?

She felt someone touch her and her eyes popped open in surprise, she didn't recall letting go of the hand that held hers.

Help me.

Why am I here?

Can anyone hear me?

The room spun slightly and she briefly closed her eyes to get her bearings, putting fingers to her temples in a vain attempt to massage the pain away. It subsided enough for her to open her eyes again and saw Natalia looking at her with grave concern.

Lena opened her mouth to explain, but then the cold reality of the situation hit her, he was gone.

He was truly gone.

Nothing was going to bring him back.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that threatened to come out.

Natalia took her by her free wrist and gently pulled her out of the church.

The brightness of the sunlight caused streaks in Lena's vision as she was guided down the steps, following mutely as the thoughts kept racing through her head.

He was truly gone.

She had tried everything and yet she had failed all over again, just like losing Abuelo.

She was truly a failure.

She tried to hold back the tears but found it impossible as they started to fall on their own.

Something deep inside cracked as a sob escaped from underneath her hand, she tried to contain it further but found that it was like fighting the current of a freshly flooded river.

"Lo siento, lo siento, no puedo hacer nada bien." she repeated over and over as the sobs escaped her.

She felt someone wrap their arms around her which only made her cry harder.

She had wanted so badly for it to work, she had just wanted to hear her Tio's voice once again and not feel so alone.

Was that too much to ask?

She cried until there were no tears left and she was exhausted, but the arms still embraced her holding her as if to protect her from the world. She sniffled for a moment and moved to pull away, the arms embracing her let go and she found herself looking up at Natalia.

"Lo siento." she apologized guiltily.

"No necesitas disculparte." came the earnest reply.

"I cried into your blouse."

"It will dry." Natalia shrugged, "do you think you can walk to mi casa? I can make us both some tea. I've got some freshly harvested honey we can add to it, if you want."

She nodded, "I would like that."

Natalia offered her hand and Lena took it and let herself be led.