She might have been eighteen and considered an adult , but she couldn't help the childlike excitement when Thursdays rolled around. It was cart day, which meant that she was the dedicated help for Tia Julieta's trusty green wooden food cart for the village. The activities included but were not limited to; getting up early to help prep food, packing the cart, walking it carefully down the hill to make sure the overloaded trays didn't spill on the way down and setting it up in the village square and helped serve those that needed healing. All of which she didn't mind, because she knew in the afternoon Natalia would show up with a jar of freshly harvested honey as a gift to her Tia and the two of them would receive a silent nod of approval to leave.

Lena wasn't quite sure when holding hands turned into entwining fingers, but it felt right and she always let herself be led away from the village square and they would walk the dirt path around the village that led to the end of the river bank and have a late lunch.

Fridays were garden digging days, those were the days she felt free, she was not Lena, a member of la familia Madrigal, who could hear the dead and channel them. She was just another villager, digging in the dirt in khaki pants and a long sleeved cotton shirt with rolled up sleeves in the warm sunlight. She always hated it when the morning wore into early evening and she had to change back into her usual blouse and skirt before heading home for the day, Natalia always noticed the change in her deamour afterwards and reached out and squeezed her hand in reassurance.

She had been nervous the first few times attempting to grow plants from seeds and had killed a few of them, but Natalia always encouraged her. It was that encouragement that kept her going despite the loss.

Saturday mornings they walked to church, fingers intertwined and stayed for several hours. She might not have been able to channel Tio Bruno, but she had found peace and hoped he had too.

There were still days when someone asked her to channel a spirit and she was too exhausted to do much other than sit in the dining room at Natalia's house and sip whatever freshly squeezed juice was available. She would of course apologize for being useless, but Natalia gently would refuse to let her feel that it was her fault.

"Your usefulness is not tied to your gift." Natalia had said once when Lena apologized for nearly dropping a glass due to her hands shaking so badly.

Lena had looked away embarrassed at her mistake and tried to move her hands to sit on them to keep them from shaking so badly but Natalia knelt before her and took her hands in hers and gently entwined them.

"You are so much more than your gift, mi amor. Por favor cree eso."

Lena had ended up in tears at that; whether it was from tiredness, the sudden admittance or the fact that she felt the same, she couldn't tell. It was an overwhelming flood of emotions and she could do nothing but hold on for dear life when Natalia embraced her.

After that admittance Lena was determined to do something special for Natalia, and found herself enlisting Mirabel's help in learning to sew. She wasn't great at it by any means, but had managed to make the first, of what would be several, headbands for Natalia. To keep her hair from flying around and catching on branches while they were gardening because it had gotten wipsy and wilder over the past few years.

Her youngest prima had quite the gift for sewing and had been the familia's go to expert when it came to fixing torn clothing. Mirabel had just recently started to branch out with sewing projects and had made a headband to match the bright yellow dress that Lena's mama wore. Her mama was so pleased by the gift that everyone at the dinner table was treated to a rare double rainbow.

They had gone to the village to pick out fabric for the headbands as well as thread for embroidering and Mirabel gently guided her through the measuring and cutting process as well as how to stitch the fabric together to reinforce it. She had managed to complete it in less than a week, which was quite the accomplishment considering she spent several days trying to keep up with her youngest hermano Antonio, who had just recently turned two. Not that he was a handful like Camilo had been at that age, but he was curious about his little world and wanted to touch everything and was easily distracted.

Lena was more than happy to pass him off to another adult when they finally returned home so she could hole up in her room and attempt to finish her stitching. When it was done she presented it to Mirabel who looked over it with a careful eye and reinforced some of the stitches where needed and asked what type of embroidery to add.

"Flowers." Lena said without hesitation and then," and bees."

"Bees?" her bespectacled prima blinked at her confused.

She smiled slightly, "She moved the bees so your papa won't get stung as much. The honey we get comes from those bees."

Mirabel nodded," I should have it done by next week."

"Gracias."

A week later it was done and Lena was stunned at the level of detail of the flowers, she had chosen marmalade bush flowers of course, to contrast against the black fabric used for the head band and there were two bees heading in opposite directions towards the bushes.

"Sorry, it's not per-"

She cut off her youngest prima with the biggest hug she could muster.

"It is perfect, Mira." Lena gushed, while the girl in question gave her a look of disbelief," It really it is."

Natalia was actually speechless when it was given to her a few days later on a Friday morning. Lena had been so nervous on how to present it that she nearly dropped it.

"Muchas gracias." she whispered, after a few moments of stunned silence as she ran her fingers over the embroidery.

"My youngest prima did the embroidery, she's quite good."

"She is." The gardener agreed and slid the head band over her head and pulled her hair through it and pushed it up on her forehead, "How's it look?"

"Perfect."

"Gracias."

"De nada."

They were out in the garden pulling weeds among the sweet potatoes when she spoke again.

"Papa wants you to come over for dinner Saturday night."

Lena paused for a moment, "Is something wrong?"

"No, he mentioned he never officially met you and wanted to thank the one responsible for bringing the heavenly tamales once a week." Natalia said with a smile.

She rolled her eyes, "You're the one who picks them up from my Tia."

"He insists."

She frowned slightly.

"Don't worry, papa already adores you. He just complained that he hasn't officially met you outside of his store or in passing."

The frown stated on Lena's face, it was true she had only met Senor Amaro in passing most of the time or with Natalia between them.

"I'll ask Mama if it's okay."

Natalia smiled brightly, "If you want to bring tamales, I'm sure he won't protest. I'm making ajiaco."

She was definitely more nervous than she should have been, she had spoken to Senor Amaro several times over the past years mainly to deliver freshly harvested produce. He had always been friendly and grateful for the assistance. Sometimes they stayed to help straighten up after the morning crowd came through and rearrange the produce on the shelves and sort through what might have gone bad.

Other times it was just to give him a break from the overly friendly widows who liked to flirt with him. Natalia always grabbed her Papa by the hand and led him to the back office claiming that she needed him to go over some paperwork for the store and he always gave her a grateful look while the widows waved their goodbyes to him promising to come back soon to visit.

Lena was far more amused by the flustered look on his face than she should have been and made an effort to keep her head down as he passed so he couldn't see the smirk on her face.

Seeing him in his shop was different than meeting him in his home, and despite Natalia's insistence that it would be fine she could feel her stomach twisting and churning at the thought of it.

When the day finally arrived she wiped the sweat off her hands onto her skirt and hoped that the tamales that her Tia Julieta had made, per her request of course, would at least ease some of the tension she was sure would be evident between them.

She took a deep breath.

Clear skies.

Clear skies.

She knocked on the door and exhaled quickly.

"Ah, Lena. ¡Buenavido casa de Amaro! "Señor Amaro greeted, with a bright smile. His broad shoulders took up the entirety of the doorframe.

She was momentarily stunned by how large the man actually was and felt just a bit intimidated, despite the friendly demeanor.

He sniffed the air for a moment and then looked down at the handwoven basket in her hands.

"Are those fresh tamales?"

She could only bring herself to nod as her voice had somehow left her.

This was not how she had envisioned the evening to go, but yet here she was frozen to the spot. Channeling spirits would have been an easier request at this point.

"Entra, entra," he said, gesturing for her to come in.

She did so stiffly.

He continued oblivious to her nervousness, " It's so good to officially meet you. I've heard of your familia of course, but to have a Madrigal in my home is an honor. Please sit, Natalia is just finishing up the ajiaco."

She obediently took a seat on the wooden chair and held onto the woven handle of the basket tightly. She felt a nervous energy run through her and resisted the urge to tap her foot or run her thumbs over the handle.

Clear skies.

Clear skies.

Why was the room so warm? It felt cooler outside.

"You can put the basket on the table, Lenita." Natalia's voice broke through her thoughts and Lena blinked.

Her return to reality was greeted by the smell of chicken as Natalia set the brown clay pot of ajiaco at the center of the table.

"Perdon?"

"The basket." the gardener explained patiently, and gestured towards the empty spot on the table and turned to gently said to her father, "You're making her nervous, papa."

"Lo siento, mi hija." he apologized, "I've been told I have that effect."

The gardener walked back towards the kitchen, and pulled three brown clay plates from the wood shelves.

"I never did thank you." He said

Her attention snapped back to him and she asked automatically, "For what?"

Her voice had decided to come back that was plus.

He shifted slightly in the chair, it creaked in protest at the change in weight, but held steady, his tone somber, "You may not remember, but you helped me say goodbye to my wife. She had been sick for a while and passed suddenly. I never got to thank you properly. "

She frowned slightly as she tried to remember seeing him before. She should have remembered him, or Natalia at the very least, but she had seen the entire village twice over at this point in her life and couldn't recall.

"It's been a decade now since el amor mi vida passed, I wouldn't have been able to continue with the store if it wasn't for you. " He said sincerely and then smiled fondly at Natalia, who was in the middle of putting tamales on plates and then proceeded to scoop out servings of soup for everyone. "I am forever grateful that mi hija has the same ability to grow things like her mama. "

"Gracias, mi hijia. " he said accepting the plate from her and his eyes returned to Lena, " Now be honest with me, how many times has she dragged you through the garden and told you the story of every plant in the garden?"

"Papa!" Natalia blushed as she sat down with her own plate and bowl.

Lena looked down at her feet, as if the tiles on the floor were the most interesting thing she had seen.

Senor Amaro laughed heartily at her lack of an answer and she tried to hide her smirk. The first tour was definitely the longest one as Natalia had gone into vivid detail on the life cycle of each plant in the garden, which would have been a bit much for anyone, even Lena had found her attention wavered, but was pulled back in repeatedly by how passionately the gardener spoke of the plants. It had been that precise moment that led to a want, no need to learn more which led her here.

"Papa, you're embarrassing her."

"Oye Lena, don't be embarrassed. I'm glad mi hija found someone who shares her passion for gardening. I was so worried that she would be talking to the plants the rest of her life."

"She still does," Lena found herself answering before she could stop herself and received a half hearted scowl from Natalia for it, while Senor Amaro laughed again.

"It helps the plants grow," the gardener said with a shrug.

"That it does, mi hija and I am grateful for it." he nodded in argument and proceeded to bite into an empanada.

Conversation faded as food was consumed and the rest of dinner passed with light conversation and followed by clean up.

"I'll walk you home," Natalia volunteered once the last dish was dried and back into the the wooden shelf.

"Good to finally meet you Lena. " Senor Amaro said with a nod. "Buenas noches."

"Buenas noches." she responded.

Once they were outside in the cool night air, Lena felt herself relax finally as fingers laced into her own and they walked the dirt worn path up the hill to Casita.

"Papa does adore you." Natalia said after a few moments of comfortable silence, "Thank you."

"For what? "She asked, confused.

"For coming and bringing the tamales. Papa will be talking about them for the next few days."

Lena couldn't quite see her but knew from the tone of her voice that she was amused.

"Thank you for inviting me. "

Fingers squeezed hers gently. "De nada mi amor."

Lena paused for a moment and Natalia sensed her hesitation.

"You don't have to -"

"Te queiro." She breathed softly as if saying the words would make it somehow less true.

She knew that wasn't the case but she had never felt this way before about anyone. She loved her familia sure, but this was different. Having dinner with Senor Amaro made it much more official and she knew eventually, she would have to introduce the rest of her familia to Natalia but for now she just wanted to say the words that had been stuck in her throat for weeks.

Everything was better when Natalia was around; she had been happier, had eaten more, slept better, even the looks of concern her mama and papa gave her were few and far between. Even channeling spirits seemed like less of a burden. It was as if someone had finally given her an umbrella during a downpour rather than just letting her get soaked to the bone.

"I know. " Natalia assured with a smile that Lena heard and gave her hand a squeeze.

Normally Lena would have dreaded chores on a Monday but after dinner at the Amaro's she felt lighter and the things that bothered her seemed trivial as she swept and did laundry. She was just hanging the freshly washed laundry on the clothesline behind Casita when Mirabel came running up to her with Antonio in tow.

"Lena! Can we go into the village please? The order I made for fabric should be ready today and I want to start on the project, please?"

She smiled at her prima's enthusiasm. "As soon as all the laundry is hung up I will gladly walk with you. What project is this for?"

"I wanted to try making a few more headbands. I wanted to match your skirt exactly and since I didn't have that fabric available I asked for it to be dyed."

Lena blinked and looked at her prima for a moment who looked a bit embarrassed at the confession.

"Mira, you don't have to-"

"I want to practise more embroidery and it was an excuse to do so." The bespectacled girl shrugged loosely, "Plus I figured you wanted to do something else with your hair."

It didn't take long for them to hang up her mama's dresses, her hermana's skirts or papa's and tio's shirts. Antonio nearly tipped the basket over a few times in the process of trying to climb into it. Once done they both allowed him to not only climb into it and sit so that only the top of his tightly curled hair stuck out, but they also carried it back to Casita to his joy.

Coaxing him out of the basket was a task in itself but once done they were able to head down to the village and to the fabric store not far from the village square.

"Hola Mirabel! "A short woman with glasses greeted her prima and then gave a small to Lena. "The fabric finished drying and I just folded it."

"Gracias Senora Negron."

"De nada Mirabel."

On the walk back Mirabel was happily talking about future ideas for sewing projects and Antonio tugged on Lena's skirt impatiently and she lifted him up and balanced him on a hip while he yawned in her arms.

They had just reached the cobblestones of the village square and were heading towards the path that led out of the village towards Casita when she heard the high pitched squealing of children and instinctively pulled Antonio closer as a few of them ran past her.

She frowned, about to ask Mirabel if she had seen what the cause of the commotion was but a quick movement in the cover of her eye caused her to whirl on her heel and she felt time stop.

It was her Tio Bruno, but she knew it wasn't truly him, he had been gone for seven years now.

She knew it was her hermano Camilo, who had shape shifted into him, but that didn't make it any less shocking. This version of her Tio was a lot creepier than she remembered; the wild black curly hair on top of his head was the same, along with the faded green rauna, but crazed look and glowing green eyes were two of the things she didn't recall him having and it made her wonder if that was really how the village saw him

Nosotros no hablamos de bruno en esta casa

Abuela's words echoed in her mind.

Was that why they really didn't talk about him?

Because of how the village had viewed him?

She began to wonder if her own memories of him had been filtered through the frosted glass of youth.

Before she could even begin to question how the villagers viewed her she felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped, turning to face the owner of the hand and pulled Antonio to her.

It was Natalia giving her a concerned look.

Sounded faded back in and suddenly felt drained as if she had just attempted to channel a spirit only she had nothing to show for and would have nearly dropped Antonio if it wasn't for Natalia steadying her trembling arms.

"And who is this handsome little hombre? "The gardener asked softly, smiling at him.

"I'm Antonio" he said brightly. "Lena is mi hermana and Mirabel is mi prima."

"Well mucho gusto Antonio. I'm Natalia and I'm a friend of your sister."

"You are?"

"Mmm Hmm." she smiled at him and Lena gave her a thankful smile, as Antonio was shifted into the gardener's arms effortlessly and she gave him her full attention" I heard that you like animals. Would you like to meet some donkeys?"

"Si, Si. "He nodded, bouncing with excitement.

"Well come on then, let's go see them and get out of the hot sun for a bit, okay?"

"Okay. "He agreed.

The gardener gave a quick glance to Lena who nodded her approval. She was definitely grateful for the assistance and perfect timing.

"Esta bien?" Mirabel asked softly, tugging at her skirt.

"Si, just got a bit dizzy for a moment there." Lena lied.

Several hours later she felt better but still guilty. Lena knew she shouldn't have reacted as badly as she did to the sight of her hermano's twisted version of their Tio. Camilo always had a flair for the dramatic and he had only been five when Tio Bruno left so there was nothing for him to go on but everyone's memories, despite the fact that they weren't supposed to talk about him (that rule seemed to only apply around Abuela).

She thought she had gotten over his sudden departure and the void that it left in her life, but it felt like someone had picked open a freshly healed scab and left it to bleed. She knew that controlling the villagers' opinions of anyone was like trying to hold grains of sand in her hands.

She has experienced that first hand when she was younger and even now most recently with Senor Osvaldo who made it known he had no intention of fixing the fence that held his donkeys just to spite her and Natalia. Though he didn't say it in so many words, Lena had long since learned to read between the lines and knew her twin had heard everything.

When she had come home to her credit Dolores said nothing but gave her a questioning look as if to ask if they needed to talk or if she needed to get their parents involved. She opted for neither, she wasn't ready for that conversation just yet, but she knew Tia Julieta knew.

There was no way her Tia didn't know and yet there were no talks about it, as if her Tia was giving her space to make her own decision when to talk about it, and Lena bided her time. She wasn't sure how exactly to begin that conversation, much less what to say, so instead she decided to enjoy the little peace of happiness that she had managed to somehow carve out for herself.

Talks would lead to more talks and if no one talked about Tio Bruno, there was no reason they should talk about her. She was fine with that, she really was. Abuela's all-seeing eyes had passed over her enough times for her to be accustomed to the shadows.

But she knew that nothing stayed in the shadows forever.