You called me later
And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it"
And I said, "I'm sorry too"
And that was the moment I knew
The pub looks lively tonight, full of college kids looking to relax for the weekend. My attire is definitely not what one should wear to a bar but I came here straight from Grandpa's. The cab pulls up as close to the door as it can, I get out and steel myself to whatever I will find once I walk in.
Two drunk girls come stumbling out giggling and I slip past them and into the crowded pub. My eyes dart the room until I see him and them. Slowly I make my way over to their booth and take note of the bottle of scotch on the table. They've been here for a while.
"Ace! Where have you been? I called you three times so I left you a voicemail." Logan tries to grab at my waist but I step back and stand at the edge of the table.
"Do you know what tonight was Logan? Do any of you know what tonight was?" My eyes glance around the table, taking in the way Steph is leaning into Colin, Robert and Lanny are discussing the LDB trip to Costa Rica. Juliet and Rosemary looking at me like I have three heads.
Then I feel Finn come up behind me, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY REPORTER GIRL!", He cheers lifting me up and swinging me around.
Nodding my head I thank him and look at Logan- he's looking at his hands. "Yep it was my birthday. Twenty-one you know so now I can legally do this." I grab the scotch bottle and put it to my lips, chugging it and slam it back to the table. "I don't ask for much, I don't ask you to stop hanging out with your friends, I don't ask you to stop jumping from stupid heights or stop you from partying. But this? I have forgiven you for so much Logan but I don't think I can forgive this."
Looking around the table I notice that the rest of the group has noticed the serious hilt to my voice. "You all promise you would be there for me tonight. I stood there for hours waiting for anything, a call, page, a smoke signal. Hell Finn probably could have flashed the bat symbol! Everyone noticed that my boyfriend wasn't there, your parents were there, but you? No, you are here at the pub. And I know that I am a new member of this group but I thought that you all would be there. But I guess you all just tolerate me for the sake of Logan."
I reach into my purse and grab the envelope that I put together in Grandpa's office and hand it to Logan. "Here this is yours".
He looks inside and shakes his head, "C'mon Ace, I already have a key to my apartment." He tried to hand me back the envelope
"There's three months worth of back rent in there, as well as my keys. I have asked the front desk of the building to take me off your guest list. You have two parking spots again so you can have guests and no one has to worry about their car being in a tow zone. I know the back rent is probably less than what I owe so I will send another one as soon as I can."
Logan looks lost, "Ace, I didn't mean to not be there- I forgot, my dad came down today and yelled at me for a solid two hours. I just needed a break. Please I don't want you to move out"
I discreetly wipe the tear from my eye, "Logan it isn't just my birthday. When was the last time you came home sober, let alone the last time you came home before midnight? We are two ships passing each other everyday. We barely talk, you grunt out responses when I ask how your day is. You don't talk to me anymore! I needed you, but you haven't been around! Our anniversary was 2 weeks ago. Do you know how I spent it? Sitting at the dining room table with General Lee's whole chicken section. I even got those weird veggie things you like! I had brand new lingerie on, I waited for hours until the food got cold and the candle wax dripped on the table and I felt pathetic. You didn't even come home that night. I saw you the next day when I went to Finn's to ask where you were. You were asleep half dressed on the couch.
"And what about last month when Grandma asked you to dinner and you said you would be there. You never showed and I had to make an excuse that you had an article for the paper that Doyle was riding you about. Everyone comes first, and I can't compete for your love anymore. It is killing me. My mom isn't talking to me, my dad isn't talking to me, his parents despise me, your parents think I am trying to ruin your life. The friends I thought I had have more loyalty to you than me, which is more than fair but who do I have in my corner?
"I know I had talked about coming back to Yale next semester, but I have decided not to. I just can't be here when no one wants me here. I feel so out of place next to you all, but without you all what else do I go? Your father was right, I am not cut out for journalism, so I am going to figure out what I can do." I push the envelope back in his hand and take another step back, "Good luck Logan." Quickly I turn around before he can respond. I catch Finn's expression as I go, he looks hurt and mad, and there is a part of me that wants to turn around and take it all back but I can't.
Without looking back I exit the pub, hail a cab and cry all the way back to Hartford.
