Doctors make the worst patients and House was no exception. Aside from the gunshot wounds and his infarction everything could be explained by his own stupidity or a common bug. House groaned as he got out of bed, careful to not disturb Cuddy sleeping. House looked in the bathroom mirror and saw his pale, sweaty complexion and blood shot eyes, "it's 3am. Nobody looks good at 3am." He justified as he leaned over the sink and splashed some cool water in his face and tried to stop the shaking.

You have a fever. The nagging diagnostician in him stated, he ignored it. He doesn't need to diagnose himself. This has been going on for about a week, he'd wake up in the middle of the night sweaty and nauseous. He can't remember the last time he had a decent night sleep between the room feeling like it was spinning, Rachel screaming for him to play or his team needing him. You're just tired. He told himself as he changed into a new pair of pajamas. He left the bathroom on unsteady legs as he carefully climbed back into bed with Cuddy. She didn't need to wake up to see him like this.

It took him nearly an hour to fall asleep and when Chase called him at 6am he was dead to the world.

"Need you. We have a case." The Australian said.

"Clinic isn't open for another two hours."

"True, but the ER is a round the clock operation."

House sighed, "this better be amazing." House could hear Chase switch him to speaker.

"Patient came in because he fell and hyper extended his knee…"

"How shocking, seems inexplicable." House's tone dripping with sarcasm.

Chase ignored the comment and continued "We sent him home but, six months later, he re-injured his knee when he was climbing into his truck, that's when we discovered he had a DVT."

"An immobile person with a knee injury got a DVT wow. That is shocking."

"He's 43 awfully young to get a DVT." Foreman said

"But still possible. You even already have a diagnosis don't need me."

"The mystery is his M level proteins are off the charts." Taub said

"He has cancer then, sucks for him." House griped

"Nope." Taub said with a half-smile, he knew he had House now.

House rolled his eyes, "Amyloidosis then."

"Negative."

"he has MGUS, get daily blood draws to make sure it doesn't progress and start him on Warfarin for the DVT."

"Already did." Taub said beaming with joy that he not only found a case for House but already started his recommended treatment.

"Then why did you wake me?" House asked rhetorically then hung up the phone.

[H]

"Up and at 'em" Cuddy said as she kissed House's forehead.

House groaned softly, "it's Sunday." He griped.

"it's almost 2pm." She said as she moved to the curtain and opened them up and let the sunshine in.

House grimaced and quickly pulled the pillow over his eyes.

"If you get up I'll make it worth your while."

She saw House move away the pillow slightly and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I made you breakfast, or lunch whatever you want to call it at this hour."

The thought of food brought back the nausea that had been lingering all morning. "Not hungry."

Cuddy was shocked, "House, normally you'd be halfway through your second burger by now."

"normally I'd be awake."

"good point."

"I believe there was some talk about making it worth my while?"

"Can't slip anything past you, can I?"

Cuddy relaxed on top of him and kissed him softly. House kissed her back and flipped her over on her back and began kissing her down her face and neck finally resting on her breasts. Cuddy gripped his short hair hard and pulled him close to her. They wrestled each other's clothes off and began to make love. With about a minute into love making House's chest began to tighten. You can't possibly be tired already! Keep going! He told himself but soon after he was forced to stop, he leaned over and tried desperately to catch his breath.

"are you okay?" Cuddy asked concerned.

House, couldn't answer the simple question, all his energy was focus on the futile effort to get air into his lungs. Back spots played at the edges of his field of vision. House's body could no longer support his weight and he collapsed next to Cuddy.

"House? Oh my god House!" Cuddy's voice could have been miles away as darkness closed in.

[H]

When House first awoke, he immediately knew where he was by the sounds of the incessant beeping noises he could recognize anywhere, Princeton Plainboro. He opened his eyes and then immediately shut them as the florescent lights pierced his retinas. After a moment he slowly opened his eyes.

Cuddy was standing next to his bed, fidgeting with her fingers. "I don't know, I don't know what could have happened." She said as she chewed her bottom lip and talking to someone House couldn't see. "What if it is something really wrong?"

"Cuddy?" House croaked as he coughed softly.

"Oh, thank god, you're awake!" Cuddy squealed, as she hugged him

"Wilson and I were so worried."

"How long have I been here?"

"about two hours. How're you feeling?" Wilson said.

"I don't know, just tired I guess."

"Tends to happen when you haven't slept well in the past week." Cuddy said as she sat down and grabbed House's hand. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

"I'm not-" House tried to explain but the look on Cuddy's face made him stop cold. "I really didn't think it was a big deal, just a simple bug. Please promise me you'll keep my ER visit just between us."

The door opened and in walked in nurse Jeffery with a cart full of tubes, cups, needles and bandages. "Dr. House, I get the pleasure of drawing your blood today and collecting a urine sample."

House rolled his eyes as he extended his arm allowing Jeffery to have access to his veins. As Jeffery finished up collecting what seemed like half of House's blood he placed a urine cup on the counter and walked out of the room.

"Can you give us a moment, Wilson?" Cuddy asked.

Wilson nodded and exited the room, drawing the curtain shut as he walked out.

"we need to talk." Cuddy said folding her arms.

House gulped slightly, he'd been dreading this conversation.

"tell me every symptom you've had in the past week."

House was thankful that Cuddy made sure they were having this conversation privately, he wanted to lie desperately, but since it is just the two of them he couldn't bring himself to do it; mostly because he knew Cuddy would have his ass if she found out. "feels like I have the flu."

"No sneezing, coughing or any other respiratory symptoms?"

"No, just short of breath."

"How long have you been feeling that way?"

House shrugged, "a few weeks?" House guessed.

"your temp was 101 when you were admitted, how long have you been having fevers?"

Another shrug, "a week?" he guessed.

"trouble sleeping?"

"I always have trouble sleeping." Cuddy gave him a glare and House sighed. "I've just been waking up hot and sweaty a lot."

"dizziness or nausea?"

"a little." A lot. Part of him wanted to elaborate, explain to Cuddy how terrible he's been feeling, how his body was sometimes too weak to stand, how he'd been waking up every night drenched in sweat.

"Weight loss?"

House remembered moving in yet another notch on his belt just yesterday, "I guess but I haven't been hungry lately."

Cuddy then stood up above him and felt his glands, "your glands seem very swollen. We will wait for the blood results and see what is going on."

"So, can we go home?" House asked.

"after you go down to X-ray and get an MRI to check out your glands, yes."

[H]

House, Cuddy and Rachel were eating at the dinner table, well, Cuddy and Rachel were eating, House was pushing food from one side of his plate to the other while listening to them tell stories from their day. House's zone out session was cut short when his phone went off. He recognized the number instantly, PPTH on call room. He excused himself as he answered the phone and walked away to the living room.

"Dr. House?" The voice on the other end asks.

"speaking." House replied.

"This is Dr. Randall."

"Randall?" House whispered his heart sank, he knew Randall, knew his specialty. House was all too aware what his diagnosis is.

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"So, what kind of cancer do I have then?" He was sure to keep his tone as quiet as possible to not let Rachel and Cuddy hear.

"Based on your test results we believe you have a type of non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, most likely Precursor T-cell lymphoblastic lymphoma."

"Well, the odds of the test being a false positive…" House began but Randall cut him off.

"Dr. House let's be blunt, you and I both know I ran the blood tests twice, and the x-rays and MRI confirm it."

House slumped down on the couch, the room began to spin around him as he tried to reconcile what he was being told with something resembling reality. It wasn't working and he felt, insanely, as though he might begin to laugh. His head was buzzing as Randall went on and on about T- lymphcytes, stages, grades, lymph node involvement, and LDH levels. He didn't really care, it was basic anatomy, he knew how cancer spread, he knew his prognosis. A few pieces made it through his haze like the fact that he was in stage 3B and there is a tumor in his chest, it hasn't spread to his bone marrow, yet, and he needs both chemotherapy and radiation.

"The radiation will be specifically targeted at the mediastinal region, and that will begin tomorrow, the sooner we start the better. We will give you a couple days to see how you tolerate it then we will begin the chemotherapy. We will implant a port in your chest and use a regimen called CHOP combining cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, vincristine, and prednisone. This treatment is very successful. We can alter the treatment accordingly based on your body's response…" Dr. Randall rambled on.

"I'll be doing it out patient."

"Dr. House that isn't wise…"

"My girlfriend and I are both doctors, I'm not an idiot. I don't want to spend all my time at work."

Randall sighed, he knew House and arguing with the man would get you nowhere. "All right but I'm warning you, it's not the best option."

"I don't care. I'll be in tomorrow for radiation. Oh, and Randall? You tell no one about this, understand?"

"Of course." Once Randall confirmed, House went back to the kitchen joining Rachel and Cuddy.

"Who was that?" Rachel asked innocently.

House was usually painfully unaware of the concept of time and place, but this was too obvious to ignore, this was not the time to share the news. "the team had some questions."

"About that knee injury guy?"

House nodded, "weird case." He lied.

Cuddy nodded but eyed him suspiciously, he always loves to explain how weird and elaborate his case loads are, this time he was short and she knew something was wrong.

[H]

House laid in bed with Cuddy sound asleep next to him, resting comfortably on his chest but House was wide awake. Now what? He knew he had to tell her, his silence would raise far more questions than he was willing to answer. He had three options. One: he could rip it off like a band-aid and tell everyone now. The only issue with that plan was, he has faked cancer before, he had no idea what to say, hey guys I have cancer for real this time, I'm totally fine though, just hopefully it doesn't spread to my bone marrow. House scoffed at the idea, everyone would think he was lying. Option two: he could say nothing to anyone except Cuddy, say it is a personal issue that was being taken care of. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself at that idea, it would probably take his team a matter of hours before they began digging through blood vials and sniff out his diagnosis. Then there was option three: lying. He took comfort in option three since it was something that came so naturally to him.

[H]

House arrived to the hospital early, which would raise red flags if anyone was there. He was there at six, pulling into the parking lot just when Cuddy would be waking up for morning yoga. Radiation was pretty much painless, more time getting everything setup and positioned then actually administering the drug. Less painless however was the insertion of his Hickman catheter, used for chemo, blood draws, and other medication administrations. By the end of his session he had a small white tube protruding from his chest. Although it was easily covered by his baggy T-shirt and wrinkled button down he felt like he was wearing a flashing sign that states "I have cancer" in big block letters.

House found various nooks and cranny's around the hospital to stay hidden in until he "arrived at work" at around 10am

"good morning." He said cheerfully to a tired team.

"You look sick. You feeling okay?" Masters asked.

House was annoyed that his cheeriness was not enough to cover up his cancer. "I'm great. This guy on the other hand…" House said as he pointed to the board.

Fuck, maybe it is time to tell everyone, even Masters could see he isn't one hundred percent. House thought. He knew he had to tell Cuddy today before he got off from work, if he didn't when she, or god forbid, Rachel, rest on his chest they will be shocked with what they find. He knew he would be able to hide the radiation from everyone, it made him tired sure, but nothing outwardly visible. Chemo on the other hand… He tried several times during the day to get up the nerve to say something. He played the conversation over and over. Wilson and Chase would probably cry, Masters would get all tongue-tied and say something along the lines of "I can't lie so you know it's true when I say that you'll be fine" or some shit. Foreman will be the easiest, he will just say, "I'm sorry, House" and not mention it further. And then there was Cuddy. When he tells her that he not only has cancer but that he has already started treatment without telling her well… she might not wait for the cancer to kill him.

[H]

House sat at his desk tossing his ball around, he only had an hour left before Cuddy would be asking him if he was ready to go back to her place. He felt his chest tighten as he pushed his chair back and went to Cuddy's office.

Cuddy was busy working at her desk, she was always so beautiful behind her desk. Powerful but delicate. "Hey you." She said cheerfully as she heard House come through the door.

"Hey yourself." He said softly, he was stalling and he knew it.

"any news on the blood tests? They sure are taking their sweet time, I've been calling every hour."

"about that…" House took a deep inhale and held his breath, he saw her staring at him on pins and needles. It was now or never. House couldn't produce a sound.

"House. What did the test results say?"

She was getting nervous. Say it! Spit it out coward!

"Lymphoblastic lymphoma." He said it so fast it could have been one word.

Cuddy was in a stunned silence. "I see." Was all she could bring herself to say after a minute or so. She didn't know what else to say, "have you told anyone yet?"

"No. You're the first."

"have you begun treatment?"

House felt his heart stop, it took almost all his energy to deliver the last bit of news, "today. I had radiation this morning."

Cuddy was calm and quiet, "and they put in a port, I assume?"

House nodded.

Once Cuddy had all the information the emotional pain began to creep in, "why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to tell you in front of Rachel. I found out at dinner and I just wanted one more night of normalcy. One more night where you won't look at me like I'm dying."

"I get that."

"please, don't tell anyone."

Cuddy nodded, House was never one to utter the word please, it was a very powerful word coming from him. She knew he trusted her entirely and she would never betray that trust, no matter how badly she wanted Wilson to look over his case.

[H]

Over the next few days Cuddy began contemplating her life and what would happen to Rachel if she got cancer, what would happen if both her and House died, and even more selfishly, how House would get through this without the help of drugs.

"Hello?" House asked into the phone, his voice sounded hoarse.

"We need you to come in…" Foreman began.

House moaned to himself as he turned toward Cuddy who was sound asleep. She would protest him going into work but he still hasn't told anyone and needed to keep up this charade as long as he could. His body ached, he felt nauseous, tired, and sore from the chemo treatment a few hours ago. He forced himself out of bed and made his way to the hospital.

[H]

Wilson was looking for House, he hadn't seen him at all yesterday and was starting to get worried when he began eating his breakfast this morning and House wasn't around to steal a few bites.

"Hey, have you guys seen House?" Wilson asked House's fellows as he entered their office.

"He went home hours ago." Chase said.

"He said he'd be back in around 10." Taub said.

Wilson went straight to Cuddy's office, if anyone had any information on why House had been acting so weird it would be her. He was surprised to find her office empty, he was about to leave when he heard the soft sound of someone vomiting and groaning from the bathroom. He knocked on the door, "Cuddy? You okay?" he asked. There was no response, "I'm coming in." he warned as he slowly opened the door, surprised to see it stop against a pair of flashy Nikes.

House was curled up in a ball in Cuddy's office's bathroom floor, her washcloth was under his head as a pillow, cell phone lying at his side. He squinted up at Wilson, "Wilson?" he said in not much more above a whisper. "what're you doing here?"

Wilson ignored the question, "House, what the hell is going on?" he asked, easing himself onto the floor next to House. "When did all this start?"

"Around three am." House said barely moving his lips. Slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position and leaned heavily against the wall, one arm wrapped protectively around his stomach.

"You've been here for seven hours?" Wilson asked in shock.

"I guess." He tipped his head back, closing his eyes. It could be nothing, Wilson thought. Stomach flu, food poisoning – hell, even a hangover. Yet even as he ran through the possibilities, he knew they were all bullshit. One look at House told him that something was very wrong. Wilson pulled out his cellphone.

"Who are you calling?" House asked.

"I'm calling the nurses station to bring you a wheelchair. You are going back to the ER and this time you are not leaving until we have a diagnosis."

"No!" House's eyes flew open, and he closed a shaking hand on Wilson's wrist. "No don't. I'm fine, really."

"You're not fine. You're lying on the bathroom floor puking your guts out at work because you can't make it home."

"Call Cuddy." House swallowed hard, grimacing, waiting to see if he was going to be sick again, "If she says I need to be admitted then I'll check myself into the hospital."

Wilson nodded briskly, and hit the speed dial. Cuddy answered on the second ring.

"Wilson, hey I'm about to walk into the lobby. Sorry I'm late, Rachel decided to throw a tantrum this morning."

"Good, I'm in your office with House. He said to call you. He's been locked in your bathroom throwing up for the past few hours..."

"Damn." Silence stretched across the line for a moment until Cuddy spoke again, "I'm getting some Zofran from the pharmacy and I'll be in there in just a few minutes."

Wilson hung up the phone and began filling up a cup with water from the sink, "here, you're probably severely dehydrated."

"I can't"

"You can. One sip."

House knew it wasn't worth the fight, he gripped the cup and took two small sips of water. They sat silently for a few minutes but House was right, he couldn't keep anything down. Wilson closed his eyes helpless to do anything except watch his friend throw up the water.

Cuddy entered her office with a small bag and headed to the bathroom. "Oh, House." She said as she kneeled on the floor next to him, "I told you to take your meds with you if you were going to come in today."

"I didn't think I'd be at work for this long."

Cuddy shook her head as she drew up the clear liquid in the syringe and pulled down on the collar of House's T-shirt slightly revealing the port. Wilson's jaw clenched, House had cancer and didn't tell him. House saw the look of betrayal in Wilson's eyes, "I'm sorry, I was going to tell you…" House said softly.

"When? Once all your hair was gone?"

House slumped, looking like a lost puppy, "its lymphoma…" House croaked out.

"Its okay. Let's focus on getting through this then you can fill me in on the details." Wilson said.