"Are you ready for your first day?" Elio asks as he parks the car in the high school parking lot. His half-brother Ollie is sitting next to him, his hands shaking, all color drained from his face.

"You'll be fine. It's really not so bad."

Ollie scoffs, but when he looks back at his brother, he has tears in his eyes.

"Will you walk me in?"

"I don't think I'm allowed to?" Elio chuckles awkwardly. Still remembering how embarrassed he was the one time his father had shown up at school. How he probably would have had to change schools if his parents had walked him in, too nervous at what people would say about him. But Ollie is still trying to get over their father's death, and he has spent the last months at home, hardly leaving his room - hardly talking or eating. So if it helps him to have someone by his side, then Elio will walk him in.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "You won't be embarrassed?"

"Please?"

"Okay." He nods, patting his brother on the arm before getting out of the car.

Elio hadn't spoken to his father for months after he had announced that he was going to be a father again - just months after the divorce. Elio didn't think he would ever meet his little brother or sister, and he didn't care. But once little Ollie was born, the icy coldness between him and his father had melted and they had finally started working on rebuilding their relationship.

Elio had loved his brother from the moment he had first met him, but being his brother and being the one to take care of him are two different things.

Samuel's new relationship hadn't worked out, and just a few years after Ollie was born, his girlfriend had packed her things and left. They had all expected her to come back - more for her son than anything - but she hadn't come back and no one knew where she had gone. Samuel had done his best raising Ollie on his own and Elio had always stepped in to help. But at the end of last year Elio had gotten the phone call which he had been dreading all his life. He had dropped everything at work and he driven to the hospital in a haze, hoping and praying that Ollie had gotten it wrong, because their father couldn't be dead. He was too young. Too healthy, too full of life.

Ollie hadn't been wrong though. They had been in the car together when their father had gotten a heart attack. The car had crashed, but Ollie had gotten off with just a few bumps and bruises here and there. He had called for an ambulance, but there was nothing they could do.

Elio had taken his brother in and he had done his best to be there for him, but Ollie had struggled. Even with therapy, he would still wake up from his nightmares every night, drenched in sweat.

Elio can't deny that he is nervous to leave Ollie here at school today, but he knows that he can't keep him at home forever. He had spoken to the headmaster who would inform the teachers about Ollie's situation, just in case. Still, Elio can feel himself starting to shake as he walks his brother into the large building.

"Are you okay?" he asks, trying his best to flash Ollie a big smile.

"Mhm," Ollie mumbles, looking a little overwhelmed.

Elio stands by his side, trying to make some small talk - reminiscing about his highschool years - as his brother checks out his locker for the first time. Elio still remembers how nervous he had been, and he can only imagine how nervous Ollie must be to come in long after the rest of his classmates.

"Will you be okay from here?" Elio asks, but Ollie only has to look at him for him to know that that's a definite no. "I'll walk you to your classroom, okay? But then I really have to leave."

"I know…"

"You'll be fine, Ollie." Elio smiles, clapping him on the back before heading through the crowd, looking for the classroom.

Elio is about to say goodbye to his brother when he notices the teacher through the small window. Surely it can't be…


After Oliver had dropped him off home that afternoon they had kissed, Elio had almost called Marzia to tell her what had happened. He had been so excited, so shocked that he had to talk to his best friend about it. But he knew the trouble Oliver could get into, so he had kept it to himself, instead walking around his room all night, both nervous to face Oliver again next morning and excited for what would happen next.

The next morning he hadn't found Oliver had school though, instead a substitute teacher had stood in for him. Elio had been terrified that someone had somehow found out about what had happened the day before, and he had been worried that Oliver was fired over it. Or worse.

There had been no rumors though, and after a week or so Elio figured that maybe Oliver was just off sick. He was fully expecting him to come back, but when Oliver still hadn't come back after nearly a month, he had nervously asked a teacher about him - scared that somehow this teacher could tell by his questions what had happened between them. But the teacher had brushed him off, telling him that Oliver had quit his job and he would not be coming back, and that was it.

Elio knew Oliver's leaving had to do with what had happened between them - he knew that it was his fault - but what could he do? He didn't know where Oliver lived and he had no idea how to contact him to apologize or to ask him to come back. So he had walked around feeling guilty for months if not years after, but he had never seen Oliver again and he had never gotten a chance to tell him he was sorry.

Not until now.


"Oliver?" he asks as he steps into the classroom.

The teacher looks up to send whoever it is away because they are early. But when he sees Elio, all color drains from his face. He gets up and he flashes a nervous smile, but when he notices Ollie, he quickly regains his composure.

"You must be Ollie," he says. "I'm Oliver."

"That's my name too," Ollie says, looking nervously at the teacher before looking back at his brother.

"And you are…"

"His brother," Elio answers, before turning to Ollie. "Oliver was my teacher too. If you feel like you're going to have a panic attack, you go find him, okay? He'll look after you."

Ollie gives a nod, still shaking with nerves. But when he finds the teacher flashing a reassuring smile, he seems to relax a little.

"You'll be okay," Elio tells him. "And you can call me any time."

"Thanks."

Elio gives him a big hug, trying his best not to look at Oliver - still feeling those butterflies at the mere thought of being in the same room as him again. But what can he do? It's not like he can bring up what had happened right now, is it? Not in front of Ollie. So he says goodbye to his brother and he leaves the classroom.

He has barely made it into the hallway when he feels a hand grab hold of his arm. He half-expects it to be Ollie, but when he turns, Oliver is standing there.

"I ehm…"

"I'm sorry," Elio blurts out. "For what happened back then. I'm sorry I got you into trouble."

"You didn't," Oliver says, keeping his voice down so the students don't overhear what they are talking about. "I chose to leave, Elio."

"Oh… they told me you had quit, but… right…" Elio mutters, feeling like an idiot. Over the years he had somehow convinced himself that Oliver would never have left his job, and that he must have actually been fired after all. Or, he has to admit, he didn't want to believe that Oliver had left without telling him goodbye or giving him an explanation if he had had a choice.

"How about we go out for a coffee this afternoon?" Oliver suggests. "So we can talk about this, away from here."

"Sure." Elio nods, not sure if he wants to have this conversation now after all. Because what is there to say? They kissed, it had obviously upset Oliver and it had made him quit his job and leave everything behind.


Elio hadn't been able to concentrate all day, because for so many years that afternoon had been on his mind. He couldn't stop wondering if he could have done something different to make Oliver stay, to somehow have more time with him. Always coming to the conclusion that no matter why or how Oliver had left, it had been for the best. Because that was his teacher, and that kiss - and more than that - should never have happened.

That didn't stop him from feeling nervous and excited jitters whenever he thought about him though. It did not stop him from fantasizing about him and wishing that he would somehow, some day have him back in his life again.

Yet now that that day is here, it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like his fantasy. Instead, it feels like he is still about to get into trouble for what had happened all those years ago.

"I bought you a coffee," Oliver says, flashing an uncomfortable smile as Elio sits down. "I didn't know what you liked, so…"

"Thanks," Elio mumbles, feeling like he is seventeen years old again now that he is having a coffee with his former teacher again. "I ehm…"

"I want to apologize, Elio. For what I did to you."

"For what you… what did you do?"

Oliver chuckles, his cheeks flushing as he looks around him to make sure no one is close enough to eavesdrop.

"When we… when I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that," Oliver sighs. "I was your teacher, and you were upset. I took advantage of you, and what I did was wrong."

"Right… is that why you left?"

"It was." Oliver nods. "I should have stayed and apologized to you, but that night after we… I panicked," he admits. "I was scared that people were going to find out, and something like that would have followed you around forever. I didn't want you to have to go through that, not on top of everything you were already going through. So I figured…"

"What about the trouble you would have gotten into?" Elio asks, now suspecting that that's why he had left. Because he was scared of what people would say about him. That he was scared to lose his job.

"I would have deserved it." Oliver simply states. "I didn't work as a teacher for years, Elio. I only started teaching again after my divorce a few years ago, and…"

"You were married?"

"I was." Oliver nods, before quickly moving away from the topic. "If you want me to stop teaching, I will. I know that what I did was wrong, and it was wrong for me to run away from the consequences."

"Didn't you just say that you were doing it to try and protect me?" Elio snaps.

Oliver flashes a small smile, but he doesn't seem offended. If anything, he just seems tired and at peace with whatever happens next.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, for you, but I can only imagine what it must have been like to live with this for so many years. So…"

"I thought they had found out," Elio admits, interrupting. "That I had gotten you fired. I kissed you, you didn't kiss me. I mean, you kissed me back, but I started it."

"You were just a kid."

"I was seventeen, Oliver. I knew what I was doing. I wanted it, and you didn't take advantage of me or whatever it was that you just said," Elio sighs. "But I wish you would have stayed so we could have talked about it. Do you know how bad I felt for ruining your career? Your life, even? I had no idea what happened to you."

"I know." Oliver nods. "And I'm sorry."

"Me too."

An awkward silence follows, because what are they meant to talk about? It's not like they had been friends. Oliver had been his teacher, and all they had ever seemed to talk about was Elio's parents' divorce, before they had found themselves kissing.

Elio can't deny that his crush - or whatever he is meant to call it after all these years - is still there, and when he looks up from his coffee into the other man's eyes, he can feel his cheeks grow warm.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, especially with you being Ollie's teacher…," Elio begins, giving it a second to give Oliver a chance to stop him before continuing. "But I really liked you."

"I liked you too," Oliver admits, before quickly adding. "You are the only student I have ever…"

Elio gives a quick nod, and it makes Oliver keep quiet.

"I still like you," Elio then admits, but Oliver doesn't reply, so he uncomfortably says, "I'm sorry, you probably have someone waiting for you at home, and I'm just…"

"I meant what I just said, Elio. I liked you too, but I'm your brother's teacher now. I just don't think…" He shrugs, before quietly adding, "You know that what we did was wrong, don't you?"

"Maybe," Elio admits. "Yes. But you're not my teacher anymore."

Oliver flashes a small smile, but he doesn't seem convinced.

"I'm not a kid, Oliver. I wasn't a kid then, and you did not take advantage of me. I know it wasn't right, but…" He sighs. "But I wanted it, and I still want it now," he admits, well aware that this might be his only chance to put all the cards on the table.

Oliver hesitates before reaching out to put his hand on Elio's hand, but as soon as Elio feels his touch he pulls away.

"Ollie…," he says, a pang of guilt going through him. "I have to talk to him first. He's been through a lot, and if he's not okay with this…"

"Of course." Oliver quickly nods, flashing an uncomfortable smile. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."


Elio was a little worried to find his brother upset after his first day back at school. He had wanted to come home after work and cancel on the coffee with Oliver, but Ollie had insisted that he'd be okay to walk home with Sophie - his best friend and the girl from next door - and spend the afternoon with her.

Still, Elio knows what Ollie is like. So he had taken a deep breath before entering the house, breathing a sigh of relief when he had heard Ollie and Sophie laughing. She had started visiting when Ollie was at his worst, and over the months they had become the best of friends - Elio even suspecting that they were starting to become more than friends.

"So… how did it go?" he asks after Sophie has left.

"It was okay." Ollie shrugs. "I sat with Soph for lunch… I freaked out a little when I didn't know where to go, but Oliver saw me and he stayed with me for a bit."

"Yeah?" Elio asks, feeling his cheeks flush at the mention of Oliver's name.

"Yeah. It was alright." Ollie repeats, and Elio knows him well enough to know that this is all that he has to say about it. That he is still a little overwhelmed and that he probably has more to say about it a few days from now.

"I'm glad it went okay."

"Mhm."

"I ehm…" Elio begins, not quite sure how to have this conversation. "I'm home late today because I went out for a coffee with someone."

"Oh?" Ollie grins, his face lighting up. "Like a date?"

"No," Elio laughs, giving his brother a playful nudge in the arm when he cocks an eyebrow in disbelief. "I went for a drink with Oliver."

"My teacher Oliver?" the teenager asks, the grin now gone. "Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, of course not. But I…," Elio tries, but he is scared of his brother's reaction. Scared to upset him. But dragging it out isn't going to change anything. "It wasn't a date, but how would you feel if it had been a date?"

"Wasn't he your teacher?" Ollie asks, looking worried. "Wait, did he… did he do something to you?"

"No," Elio chuckles awkwardly. "Nothing happened, Ollie. I liked him when he was my teacher, but I never told him. For obvious reasons. And nothing happened, okay?"

Ollie nods, still looking a little hesitant, and Elio can't help but feel bad for lying to him. But it's not like he can tell him the truth, is it?

"But when I saw him again today," Elio continues, "I realized that I still like him, so I asked him to meet me for a coffee. Not as a date, but…"

"Does he like you back?" Ollie interrupts.

"I hope so," Elio laughs, nodding as his face goes redder. "I think so. But I am not going to continue seeing him if you are not okay with it. I know that he's your teacher, and I understand if it'd be too weird for me and him to be…"

"You should ask him out."

"Yeah?" Elio smiles. "You don't think it'd be too weird?"

"Nah, he's alright."

"Yeah, I think so too." Elio pulls his brother in for a hug, a proud smile on his face. "I love you."

"I know." Ollie grins when Elio lets go of him and he playfully nudges him in the leg. He then mumbles, looking as awkward as ever, "Love you too."


"I wasn't sure if you were going to come," Oliver admits as soon as he and Elio have sat down on the couch with a glass of wine.

Elio had texted him after talking with Ollie, and they had set up a date for the next week. The plan was to go out for dinner, but after some ideas fell through they had settled on having dinner at Oliver's. Not that Elio minds; he can do without the prying eyes in a busy restaurant and having people talking about them. Even if no one here in town knows that they were teacher and student at some point.

"You thought I was going to stand you up?" Elio asks. "Why?"

Oliver shrugs, before taking a sip of wine.

"Did you think I'd changed my mind after all these years?" Elio asks, trying to laugh it off, but it only makes Oliver look uncomfortable. "Do you want me to go?"

"Not at all. It's just going to take some time to get used to this, you know?" Oliver admits. "I've been living with all this guilt for years, and now…" He sighs as a bashful smile forms on his lips. "Now you're here."

"We did nothing wrong," Elio tells him, but when he sees the look on Oliver's face he can't help but laugh. "Okay, maybe technically we did. But we didn't hurt anyone, did we?" he teases, but Oliver isn't laughing, and he realizes why he still can't relax. "I told you Oliver, you didn't hurt me. The only thing that hurt was when you left, not when we…"

"Kissed," Oliver finishes his sentence, very obviously leaving out what else had happened. But by the shy smile on his face Elio can tell that he definitely remembers. "I just want to make sure that this is what you want, and that I didn't just…"

"Fuck me up back then?" Elio suggests. "You didn't."

Elio sets his glass down before moving closer to the other man. It's been years, but for a split-second he feels like he is seventeen again and back in that car. About to kiss Oliver for the very first time.

He leans in, surprised to find himself this nervous again. But when Oliver gently kisses him, all nerves fade away. Instead they are replaced by an excitement he hasn't felt since that afternoon all those years ago.

"You're not going to disappear on me again, are you?" he whispers as his hand lingers on Oliver's chest.

Oliver smiles before kissing him again.

"Not this time."


Thank you! xx