Authors Note: Apologies for the delay to Trust, but this story poured out of me whilst I was writing the latest chapter. So this is set after Skin Deep and before Wavelength.

Jackie stormed up the stairs, her breathing heavy and uncontrolled. She opened the door to the roof, which closed behind her as she quickly walked towards Michael, stood in his usual spot. He turned, and he could see from her face she was angry, furious even.

"What's wrong Jackie?" He said, turning to face her, leaning back against the wall as she approached him.

"Anything you care to share with me?" she stopped, folding her arms across her chest glaring at him.

"no..?" he said confused.

"how could you?!" She exclaimed, the hurt on her face caught him off guard.

"Jackie, I really don't know what you are talking about!" He said, he would normally be annoyed with her, but the hurt on her face was real.

"you have angina!" She stated flatly. His face dropping, his secret out.

"Jackie.. It's not that serious!" He brushed it off.

"You said you were fine!" she almost whispered it; her immediate anger subsided.

"I ...am...fine!" He insisted.

"I saw you use that spray today in the interview room!" he mentally kicked himself, he was sure he was alone when he had used it.

"Wait...how did you know what it was for?" He countered.

"I didn't, but when I mentioned it to Stuart, I could tell from his face he knew something. Then he told me about you dropping the spray in the office and he saw the name and worked out what it was for." Michael was visibly annoyed with Stuart, for divulging his private information. "I forced it out of him!" She continued, as if knowing his focus was on Stuart and not her. "how could you?!" She shook her head.

"Jackie, Why are you so upset? it's really none of your business!" He stated starting to get annoyed with her, until he looked at her face and she couldn't hide the hurt at his statement.

"how could you keep something like that…. from me?" she paused, her emotions raw. Michael shrugged in response. Jackie continued almost in a whisper. "after what happened with the boss!" He paused, finally understanding why she was so upset. Jim keeping his illness a secret from him, had hurt him and his sudden death had hit him like a tonne of bricks. The feeling of guilt washed over him, as he remembered all of their talks about it, he had confided in her about being kept in the dark. He stood up straight and stepped forward, going to touch her arm but she stepped back. Her breathing was still rapid, her body shaking, he had not seen her so emotional in a long time. "what if… you had….." She paused look to at his face. "I would have been completely blindsided just like you were!" She was annoyed with the tear that rolled down her cheek, she angrily wiped it away.

"Jackie, Listen…. I'm sorry. I didn't even think of it like that!" He looked at her, dropping his head, trying to catch her eye, show his sincerity. Her face softened and he continued "I am fine! I just didn't want you questioning my fitness or telling anyone else for that matter!" She shook her head in disbelief at the statement, he regretted it immediately as she stepped further back.

She opened her mouth as if to speak but she just nodded before turning and walking away. "I guess I was wrong about you as well!" she muttered to herself, as she opened the door.

"Jackie!" He called after her, but the door had already closed.


The next morning, Michael walked into the office noticing that the big chocolate bar, he had left on Jackie's desk the night before, was now on Stuart's desk. Michael pointed to it as he entered the bull pen. "Jackie gave it to me!" Stuart smiled, unaware the chocolate was regifted to him. Michael exhaled before smiling at Stuart who was none the wiser. Michael had sensed that a chocolate bar was not going to suffice this time. He knew that he had hurt Jackie and had added to an already difficult time for her. Surmising her comment about being wrong about him as well was no doubt about her relationship with Brian Holmes.

Robbie wandered over to Michael as he slipped on his jacket. "Sir, Jackie and I are headed down to a pawn shop on the high street, someone reported they were selling some stolen Jewellery!" Michael nodded.

"Where is Jackie?" Michael asked nonchalantly.

"oh she said she would wait for me downstairs, she was eager to get out of the office. I think she had another argument with Sherlock! She is in a right mood!" Michael furrowed his brow, knowing he was to blame in part for her mood, before shrugging pretending not to care.

"ok, keep me posted!" Michael stated before heading back to his office.

"so are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Robbie asked as he handed her a coffee.

"it's nothing Robbie!" She responded flatly. Robbie smirked sitting next to her, drinking his own coffee. She exhaled loudly, looking at her coffee, all too aware she was fooling no one.

"sure, it's nothing, nothing has you so pissed off!" she shrugged, and he bumped his shoulder against hers ."I mean, that poor pawnshop owner, he will be shaking in his boots for days! I almost felt sorry for him!" She exhaled loudly, before laughing, Robbie smiling to have cracked the icy exterior.

"well let it be a lesson to you! Don't piss me off!" She smiled sipping her coffee.

"noted!" Robbie smiled although he was already aware that getting on her wrongside was not a nice place to be. "so it didn't go well between you and Sherlock?" Jackie shot him a look of derision. "ok you and Brian?" He corrected, and she rolled her eyes.

"I really don't know Robbie. I don't know what I am doing anymore! I thought I had it all figured out! Now I just wonder why I am still here?"

"wow, that's heavy!" He smiled.

"sorry Robbie" She shook her head slightly embarrassed.

"no don't be, just normally you don't talk to me about heavy things!" Jackie shrugged. "this isn't just about Brian is it?" Jackie nodded.

"No, it's not!" She admitted. "maybe it's time for a change Robbie?"

"you thinking of leaving?" Robbie asked shocked.

"oh I don't know, I have been thinking about this all night. I have been so laser focused on my job, more so on the team, our team that I realise that I haven't left much time or space for something else. Brian said to me what if I make the wrong choice, by picking the team over him. Maybe he was right! I always pick the team over everything else!" Robbie looked hurt,. She smiled in response "Not about you specifically. Brian was wrong, is wrong about you!" She stated. "but maybe I have sacrificed too much to keep the team going, looking out for you, Stuart and Michael, it's a lot!"

"You know you can't leave me with Stuart and the boss! Right? I would not last two minutes" He smirked and she smiled.

"It's not about leaving, maybe I just need to change my priorities, you said it!" he looked at her puzzled. "This job is not my life!" Robbie smiled.


Robbie was leaning against Stuart's desk as Michael walked up to him. "How did you get on with the pawn shop?"

"Nothing fruitful, except if he ever does gets something that could be stolen goods. I think he will be too scared to not report it, he was petrified of our Jackie!" Robbie smirked. "She really gave him a hard time!"

Michael looked around before asking. "Still in a mood?"

"Yeah, actually, you might want to have a word with her! I can't quite work out what the problem is, I think it's more than breaking up with Sherlock, she was talking about changing her priorities in life and how she had become so dedicated to the team!" Robbie stated looking to Stuart.

"you think she might leave?" Stuart asked, slightly stunned and Robbie nodded in response. Michael sighed.

"ok, send her into my office when she gets back!" Robbie nodded as Michael left.


Michael prepared for the knock at the door, wondering what he could say, what she would allow him to say. When the knock came he felt an unease, knowing the conversation would not be an easy one.

She opened the door, standing at the doorway, obviously not wanting to be there. "Sir, DI Ross said you wanted to see me?" She said in the flattest voice he had ever heard from her.

"Jackie, don't be like that!" Michael stated.

"no I apologise, I have been completely unprofessional, it won't happen again." She smiled. "was there something you required, sir?" She questioned again standing as far from the desk as she could.

"Jackie?"

"Sir?" She said starkly. He was taking a back at her coldness towards him.

"I just wanted to apologise!" Michael said.

"it is really none of my business" Jackie stated stepping back "well if there is nothing further, can I be dismissed?" She asked looking at the door.

"sure!" He simply stated followed by a stunned silence when she gently closed the door behind her.


Jackie sat in her car at the docks, she was watching the sunset enjoying the peace. This was her place, where she could think, to contemplate her life, or a difficult case. Robbie and Stuart had offered to take her for a drink, she suspected Robbie had mentioned their conversation to Stuart who had been overly helpful and friendly all afternoon, but she wanted to be alone. She watched the water, the motion of the waves, the colour of the red dusky sky reflected in the water, making her feel at ease. She recognised the car that had pulled up next to her, she thought about turning her engine on and driving off. Realising that would be unnecessary dramatic she awaited him as he looked in the window asking permission to open the car door. She nodded.

"thought I would find you here!" Michael stated as he settled into the passenger seat.

"Michael, ….I have nothing to say to you!"

"oh Michael, is it?" He smirked. She shot him a look of derision. His face softened. "Listen, I'm sorry!" She shook her head.

"Michael, I'm not really mad at you!"

"well that's news to me!" He scoffed. She laughed.

"I am just so mad at myself!" She reluctantly admitted. "I'm mad at how dependant I have become on work, the team and….. well you!" Michael went to interrupt but she cut him off "I can not believe how worked up I got over nothing, but the thought that you could be gone in an instant… I mean I know the risks involved in this job but this is different!" she looked away, embarrassed.

"Jackie, I am sorry, I should have told you! To be honest I didn't because I was embarrassed." She smiled, feeling that was in part the reason for not telling her, but she shook her head.

"Michael, you don't get it. You don't need to explain yourself; you were quite right it really is none of my business! I am sorry for losing it like I did!" She said looking out of the water.

"Jackie, we are not just co workers, we are friends and it is your business, for the very reason you pointed out!" She shook her head in response. "You know sometimes I need a bit of help to see what is in front of my face!" He was relieved to see her laugh, but her smile faded as quickly has had formed.

"Michael, all of this, em, it's just, I…Just.." she was annoyed at how flustered she was. "I think I need to take a break! from the team, from here!" She eventually said.

"You mean take a break, from me?" He asked, and she remained silent. "Jackie?"

"From Brian, Robbie, work, and yes from you. I can't continue like this!"

"Jackie, please tell me what is really wrong here? This isn't just about your relationship with Brian or my angina, is it?"

"Michael, I think for the sake of our friendship you should go now!" Michael was starting to worry, this conversation had not gone how he had hoped, or how all their arguments normally went. He would apologise, chocolate was exchanged, and life went back to normal.

"Jackie, please?" Jackie huffed, looking into his face she could see there was no escaping.

"Michael, when I heard about your angina I felt scared, then when you told me it was none of my business. I guess I just realised just how one-sided things are?"

"one-sided?" Michael asked

"ok, let me put it this way, it was pretty clear, that Brian was jealous over my perceived feelings for Robbie!" Michael nodded in agreement. Jackie took a deep breath. "well I have realised he was jealous of the wrong man!" She left it hanging in the air, she thought she would feel fear by talking about it, but she had become so exhausted by the last few days she just felt numb. She looked at him. "it's you… it's you, that I have feelings for you!" She exhaled loudly like a weight being lifted from her, she scoffed. "I thought I had put that all behind me years ago but last night I realised how much I still loved you!" Michael was stunned to silence. "but I can't keep living with this, I really thought I had gotten past it, moved on! But as much as I try to pretend my feelings are purely platonic, I can't do it anymore!" she nodded to herself. Michael had no idea what to say he had not said a word, trying to take in the information. Jackie continued "so I think it would be best if I take a break and look for another team to join! I'm truly sorry Michael" She said sincerely. They sat in silence for a few moments, Jackie occasionally looked to Michael, who had still not said a word.

"You have nothing to be sorry for!" Michael eventually said.

"yes I do, I'm sorry for ruining our friendship!" she said sincerely. Michael frowned.

"you haven't. I had no idea you had…. romantic feelings for me!" He rubbed his hand across his brow. "Jackie, I…"

"Michael, I am fully aware this is unrequited. I don't expect anything from you, you do not have to do or say anything. I just knew that the DCI in you wouldn't let me go without some sort of explanation!" She smiled and was relieved when he smirked. "I'm off tomorrow anyways, and after that I will start looking at a transfer!"

"Jackie I don't think that is necessary!"

"Michael, for me it is!" She stated firmly. Michael nodded, sensing there was no point in arguing. He looked out at the dock.

"Jackie, can we go for a walk?" Jackie was slightly confused.

"it's getting dark, Michael!" She countered.

"let's get some air!" She reluctantly agreed getting out of the car, unsure of what a walk would do. He walked around the car next to her, when she shivered, he slid of his suit jacket off and draped it over her shoulders, and they walked along the dock.

"Micheal.." Michael held his hands up to interject, Jackie reluctantly stopped what she was going to say. The walked to the edge of the dock, looking out to the river, it was now dark, and the stars had started to appear in the sky. Jackie smiled looking up. Michael grabbed her hand.

"Jackie, I will help you with a transfer, I think it would be for the best!" She smiled, the relief she felt was immense, getting over him whilst working as closely as they did was impossible.

"Thank you!" She smiled closing the jacket tighter around her. She turned to walk away but he grabbed her hand to turn her back. She looked at him confused "Michael?" he brought his hand up to cup her face.

"Jackie.." He moved his body closer to hers, his intention obvious. The look of surprise on her face made him smile as he closed his eyes and moved in to kiss her lips. His hand caressed her cheek as their kiss intensified, and she brought her hands around his waist the warmth of his body against hers. She felt her heart racing, her breathing heavy, feeling his hands on her skin. They broke away after a few moments, both breathless, looking at each other's faces, the remnants of Jackie's lipstick on his lips.

"What just…" She eventually managed to catch her breath "what just happened?"

"I kissed you!" Michael smirked.

"yeah I was there for that, but why?" Jackie smiled as she took her thumb wiping away her lipstick from his lips.

"maybe it isn't as unrequited as you thought!" Her smirked.

"Michael?" She smiled. He stepped forward again and Jackie brought her hands up stroking his chest and looked up into his eyes for reassurance, reassurance that she wasn't dreaming which was answered when he smirked. She leaned forward kissing him again, he brought her hands up her back pulling her closer to him, their bodies closer than they had ever been. He moved to kissing her neck which caused a stifled moan from her. She broke away from him, feeling her body respond to his, she had almost forgotten where there were, but a gust of cold wind soon reminded her.

"Jackie, I have feelings for you!" he said almost mockingly, and she playfully hit his arm as she turned and walked away heading to her car. She turned to look at him a beaming smile. "let's go somewhere warm!"

"My bed is warm!" She laughed at his boyish smirk.

"You need to buy me dinner first!" she smiled as she reached her car.

"Ok, I can get a takeaway and bring it to yours?" He offered.

"Sounds like a plan!" She smiled getting into her car, looking at herself in the mirror, her lipstick smudge and red, a flutter in her stomach. She couldn't wait to get home, thinking this was the change she was hoping for.