Tuesday 14 February 2017

Dylan and Pete had prepared dinner tonight for the three of them. Kate thought that the men were planning something – she'd picked up a hint that something was afoot from their whispered conversations that stopped when she walked into the room - she just wasn't sure exactly what they had planned.

Dinner was lovely – veal rolls stuffed with spinach, pine nuts and parmesan, cooked in a tomato sauce and served with pasta. Dessert was chocolate mousse made from scratch and served with a raspberry coulis. Kate complimented both men for their cooking skills, which had improved hugely in the years they'd been living together. Afterwards, the three of them moved out onto the terrace with their after-dinner liqueurs. It had been another hot February day, but now that the sun had set, the cool evening breeze had blowing and it was pleasant sitting outside, listening to the sound of the water lapping along the banks of the canal. Kate was lounging on the day bed, sipping on her Lochan Ora, while the men were seated at the table with rums.

"So, Kate," began Pete "Dylan and I have been talking."

"Uh huh."

"Well, um … none of us is getting younger. You and I are both over forty now, and Dylan's not too far off that milestone. And well, he and I have been thinking …" Pete's voice trailed off.

Dylan threw an exasperated glance at Pete and then took over the conversation, "Kate, what Pete's trying to say, not very well."

"Thanks mate" interrupted Pete.

"Well, you've started it off by reminding Kate how old she is. That's never a good thing to say to a woman."

"Uh guys" called Kate, trying to get their attention and get them back on track. "What are you trying to say?"

The two men looked at each other and then at Kate before - "We want a baby" said both men, talking at the same time in their haste to get their words out.

"A baby?!" exclaimed Kate "Really?"

Pete's words flowed better now, "Well Kate. I'd pretty much given up on a long-term relationship before us. You know what happened with Monica years ago back when we were on Hammersley and the women before her, and there's really been no-one since that I wanted to spend more than a few weeks with, if even that long. You know as well as anyone that Navy life doesn't really help with having a steady relationship. When I was younger I always thought that there'd be time someday for settling down. But as I got older, I started thinking about how I'd like a family, a child, something to show that my life has meaning. Once I got to forty, I'd pretty much decided that that wasn't going to happen, and I was trying to accept that. And then I met up with you again, and everything that's happened since then, and I started thinking again about having a baby. I know that none of us uses the words very often, at least I don't, but … I love you Kate and I can't imagine anyone else I'd want to have a baby with." Pete sat back in his chair, having leaned forward while he was talking, in his desire to get out what he had to say.

Kate touched Pete's knee lightly and smiled at him before turning to Dylan and asking, "And what about you?"

"I want a baby with you" said Dylan bluntly "I've loved you for years – you know that. It just took ages for us to get together because of, well, you know, everything. My feelings for a child to follow me aren't quite as strong as Pete's. Maybe it's because I haven't turned forty yet, though that birthday's not that far off. But I do want a baby, and I want that baby with you." He paused and then continued, not quite so forcefully as before, and with a serious tone to his voice, "If we have a baby, I could be a big help with the care. You see, I'm not sure that I'll ever get back to sea. You know that I'm still having the knee problems and the other issues that put me ashore back in 2014. That short posting to the boat in Darwin last year proved that I'm still not a hundred percent and I might never be. I could keep my shore posting - it's not like people are banging on the door to replace me in the role. Or I could quit the Navy and be a house husband and look after the baby, if you wanted to go back to sea more. Pete's got his occasional sea time, with his role backfilling vacant sea positions. If you want to go back to a ship after having the baby, you should absolutely think about it – you spent ages to get where you are. If you need to go back to sea to get promoted, then that's another reason to think about a ship in the future. And I could be here with Pete, both of us keeping the home fires burning and being the best-looking dads at playgroup." He smiled as he said these last words.

Kate was overwhelmed by the men's declarations of love. She knew that she loved the men, had done for quite some time; she just didn't say it very often.

Kate got up from her chair and walked across the terrace and down onto the grass. She walked the length of the yard, past the pool and all the way to the waterfront. The men watched as she lowered herself onto the grass at the edge of the property. She crossed her legs and propped her head in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees, gazing out at the water while she thought about what the men were asking.

"A baby. They want a baby for the three of us. After I lost my little girl three years ago, I never even thought about getting pregnant again. I thought that she was my only chance for a baby. For goodness' sake, I'm forty-two this year. Who knows if I can even get pregnant, let alone all the problems that could come with a pregnancy at my age?"

Kate flopped back onto the grass, her arms out to either side, and lay looking up at the stars, while she continued her thinking. As she lay on the grass, her mind darted back and forth, thinking about everything that having a baby would involve. Kate's fingers itched for a pen and paper, to write down a list of all the things for and against trying to have a baby. Leave wasn't an issue at least – maternity leave was a given, thank goodness, and if she wanted longer, she could always take her accumulated leave, or long service leave as well, even at half pay maybe. The guys would also be able to access paternity leave – her thoughts skidded sideways for a moment as she considered the implications of deciding paternity of a baby. She also thought about Dylan's incredible offer to be a stay-at-home dad.

Finally, Kate thought specifically about a baby, her baby, their baby. Kate tried to picture what that baby might look like. "A little baby with Dylan and my blonde hair, or Pete's brown eyes and huge smile." Kate smiled at the pictures her mind conjured up.

Finally, Kate made her decision and nodded to herself. She got up off the grass, brushed herself down and walked back to the men, who still sat at the terrace, watching her coming up the yard.

She poured a round of drinks for them all and then sat down. "OK. I'm willing to try to have a baby. But if we have a boy then he's going to be called after Swain. You know why. Is that all right?"

The two men instantly agreed. They had both served with Petty Officer Chris Blake – Swain – on Hammersley and had been saddened by his untimely death in the service of his country. Naming a son after him would be a wonderful way to honour a good friend and colleague.

"And then the other things that I want are that when, or if, I get pregnant, we don't find out what I'm having, boy or girl, or who the father is, until the baby is here. I want those things to be a surprise. I want to have the baby and for you guys to be in the hospital room with me and to look at our baby and say that it's a girl or a boy, and then afterwards we figure out who's the father." Kate's voice, which had been getting faster as she spoke, ran down and she looked anxiously at the two men, waiting for their responses.

"Fine by me." Said Dylan.

"And me," was Pete's response. "I like the idea of having a surprise. I've never really understood why people want to know what they're having."

"OK then. It looks like we're trying for a baby." Kate smiled and the men returned her smile. "And by the way, I love you Pete, and you Dylan. Like Pete, I know that I probably don't say it often enough, but I love you both so very much."

The three of them raised their glasses and toasted one another to their shared future together.