A/N: Possible spoilers for anything MCU. If anyone has a request for a Tony and Peter story, hit me.
Sunny
MCU
Tony and Peter
Don't Stop Me Now
What seemed like only seconds into blissful sleep, Tony was jerked awake by a crash and incoherent muttering. He tossed the covers aside and sat up, seeing Peter on the floor trying to stand without knocking over the IV pole. Unfortunately, in this position, the boy's entire bare backside was in full view along with enough of the front to make Tony uncomfortable.
He hit the call button for help and rushed to Peter's side. Rushed was a misnomer though because every muscle in his body ached, making it more of a shuffle. Even his hair hurt, though his own physical pain meant less than squat at the moment.
"Peter, what're you doing out of bed?" he asked, going down on one knee and holding Peter's gown closed in the back, just as Bruce joined them. The two men helped Peter stand, practically dragging him toward the bed.
With Tony and Bruce the only things keeping him upright, Peter looked around the room, confused. "Um, has-has anyone seen my legs?" He spread his arms wide, "They're 'bout this long. One of 'em got a broken toe." One finger curled in on itself. "Looks like dis…"
"Your toe's not broken, Peter," Bruce reminded him.
"Iss not?" He waved a hand, "Psht, I f'got. I doan break bones no moar. Not mine, at least."
The two men settled Peter on the side of the bed, Tony's hand in the middle of his chest and Bruce holding onto one arm to keep him from falling. They finally got the boy back into bed and Bruce covered him up, admonishing him with a finger shake, "You have to stay in bed, Peter.
"Gotcha." His face lit up and Tony knew neither of them would be returning to dreamland any time soon. "Hey, hey, I-(hic)-I gots a joke for yas. What do they call a shmall piece of land," he pinched a centimeter of air, "surrounded by water and nothin' but shshsh-eep livin' on it?"
Tony rolled his eyes. That was an easy one. "Isle of Ewe."
A loopy, affectionate grin spread over Peter's baby face, "Aw, thass sweet. I love you too." He patted Tony on the cheek, closed his eyes, and waved his arms like he was conducting an orchestra, first humming, then singing, "Tony, Tony, gimme yer answer, blue. I'm half-crazy all for the love of glue…"
"What the hell did you do to my nephew, Mr. Stark?" May's angry voice didn't stop Peter's singing and he totally spaced on the fact his aunt, who, for all intents and purposes was his mother, had arrived.
Doing a quick gown check on himself to make sure nothing was showing that shouldn't, Tony allowed Bruce to help him back into bed. Trying to make light of the situation, Tony fake smiled, "Well, you see, that's actually an, uh, an incredibly amusing little tale."
Before he could continue his story, made up on the spot to ease May's concern, Peter segued into another song.
"Soft Tony, warm Tony, hairy ball of fur! Happy Tony, sleepy Tony, drrr, drrr, drrr!"
The three adults gave each other what the hell looks when Peter switched songs again.
Hold me closer, Tony Danza
Count the headlice on the hairline
Lay me down in street of Lebanon
You had a Gary Busey day today
Not knowing what to say, Tony and May watched as Bruce went to the IV pump to increase the amount of sedatives going into Peter's system. But did that work? Uh, nope.
Watch me wannabes feed, Kate
Watch me wannabes feed
They're a dangerous breed, Kate
So watch me wannabes feed
Altogether now!
Tie Maya Angelou down, Schwartz
Tie me CPU down
Tie me Katmandu down, snorts
Tie me yabba-dabba-doo down
"Peter?" May went to his side, brushing hair from his forehead and taking his hand, thankfully stopping the music. "You should be resting."
He looked at her as if he wasn't sure who she was or why she was there. "Doan wanna rest. Wanna shing…"
And he did.
My, my, my, Felicia
Why, why, why, Felicia
I could see, that girl was so good for me
But I was lost like a shave that was free
He trailed off, obviously forgetting the next lines of the Tom Jones song. Much to the relief of all three, Peter finally closed his eyes and went back to sleep.
Keeping hold of Peter's hand, May accepted the chair Bruce brought so she could stay at his side. "I'll have a cot brought in so you can stay with him, Ms. Parker. With his enhanced constitution, he should only be here another day or so, just for observation. Would you like something to drink and eat?"
"Not hungry, but cold water would be perfect," she told Bruce with a smile.
Just as Tony feared, the moment they were alone, May turned her ire on him. "What the hell happened? Why is Peter so out of it?"
"That would be Bruce's, uh, Dr. Banner's doing. He can explain his reasoning better." Tony pulled the covers over his chest as a defensive move. Not much in the way of protection should May get it into her head to punch him, but it was all he had.
Peter groaned in his sleep and rolled over facing May. "Ever since he got these powers and you gave him the suit, he's been taking more and more chances, taking himself into dangerous situations. If he dies…"
"I'll be to blame, and I get it." Any humor Tony had was long gone. May was right. It was all his fault for recruiting Peter in the first place. "I got word that the Vulture had broken out of prison and was gunning for Spider-Man…"
~~O~~
About the time Tony concluded the story of how he and Peter had fought, captured, and returned the Vulture to a more secure prison, Peter was waking up again.
"Hey, Aunt May. Wachoo doin' here?"
May kissed him on the forehead. "Mr. Hogan came to get me. How are you feeling?"
"Purdy good, I fink." He inhaled, exhaled, inhaled again, and that loopy grin was back. "Been workin' on somethin' special."
"Yeah? Like what?"
Putting a hand over his eyes, Tony muttered, "Oh, God. Not again." But it was too late.
Peter rolled onto his back, raising the head of the bed at the same time. "Wrote m'self a theme song. Wanna hear it?"
May's "Maybe later" was ignored as Peter hummed the intro then went into the song.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spider-Man.
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread?
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the Spider-Man.
Eventually, Bruce found a dosage that put Peter out, and would hopefully keep him that way long enough for them both to get some rest. Tony reached up to turn out the light over his bed and closed his eyes, opening them again when May asked, "Wait! Who's Felicia?"
End
"Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two)" is a popular song written in 1892 by British songwriter Harry Dacre. The song is said to have been inspired by Daisy Greville, Countess of Warwick.
"Soft Kitty" is a children's song, popularized by the characters Sheldon and Penny in the American sitcom The Big Bang Theory, and which elsewhere may be rendered as "Warm Kitty". According to claims in a copyright lawsuit, the words to "Warm Kitty" were written by Edith Newlin.
"Tiny Dancer" is a song composed and performed by English musician Elton John with lyrics by Bernie Taupin. It appears on John's fourth album, Madman Across the Water; it was released as a single in 1972. The lyrics "Hold me closer Tony Danza" were reference in the Friends episode "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy", Episode 3.01.
"Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" is a song written by Australian singer Rolf Harris in 1957 which became a hit around the world in the 1960s in two recordings (1960 in Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom for the original, and 1963 with a re-recording of his song in the United States). It's about an Australian stockman on his deathbed.
"Delilah" is a song recorded by Welsh singer Tom Jones in December 1967. The lyrics were written by Barry Mason, and the music by Les Reed, who also contributed the title and theme of the song.
"Spider-Man" is the theme song of the 1967 cartoon show Spider-Man, composed by Paul Francis Webster and Bob Harris. The original song was recorded at RCA Studios in Toronto (where the cartoon was produced) featuring 12 CBC vocalists (members of the Billy Van Singers, and Laurie Bower Singers groups) who added to the musical backing track supplied by RCA Studios, New York.
