Chapter 1
Her cell was ringing – an unknown number – bringing her out of her sleep.
At this time of the night it was either urgent or a joke. Urgent would mean to get up and go to work, a joke would make her angry but at least she could yell at the idiot(s) then and go back to sleep. Either way she needed to pick up.
"Rollins," she said.
Nothing in return.
'A joke. Great.' She was about to say something offending when she heard a sob on the other end.
'Maybe not a joke after all.'
"Hello?" she tried "anyone there?"
"Catherine?" a male voice asked hesitantly.
"Yes, it's me."
"He…he's gone."
"What are you talking about?" Then "Danny? Is that you?"
"He…St…Steve…he's dead."
Danny had been devastated when the hospital had called to tell him.
"I am sorry but I have to tell you that commander McGarrett had passed away 30 minutes ago. There was nothing more we could have done to save him."
This wasn't supposed to happen. Not that fast anyway. The medication had worked fine – at first- But then "the spells" came more frequently and were more severe.
After an examination Steve got admitted to the hospital. The doctor had said that "they were going to put him on a different and much stronger medication. That it would suppress the symptoms and make the spells go away.
So, when the call came, he thought it was a joke – a bad one he absolutely couldn't laugh about. But he had recognized the doctor's voice he had spoken to just yesterday afternoon – not even 8 hours ago. It wasn't a joke.
The words repeated themselves in Danny's head 'commander McGarrett is dead… commander McGarrett is dead… commander McGarrett is dead… commander McGarrett is dead'.
His chest got tight, there was a pain – no an agony – in there he had never felt before, not even when Matty had died.
And that pain had nothing to do with the fact that he couldn't breathe anymore. His heart had skipped a few beats and still does, his chest got even tighter than before and breathing even more difficult. He started to shake, his legs didn't hold him anymore and he sank to the floor.
When he could breathe again, he stared at the wall for an unknown time before the words returned to his brain 'commander McGarrett is dead… commander McGarrett is dead… commander McGarrett is dead'. He started to cry shamelessly.
Despite their rocky start the two men had grown on each other. They had been partners, friends – best friends.
They would have done anything and everything for each other, would have died for each other without seconds thoughts.
They had depended on each other, loved and needed each other in a way nobody else would or could.
It had been a relationship with unconditionally trust – in words and capability – the best of them had ever had and would never find again if it would end for whatever reason.
'Commander McGarrett is dead.'
Now it had ended.
There was nothing but emptiness in Danny's heart and soul.
He needed to talk to someone, had to tell someone what he had just learned. Even if it meant destroying someone else's night – or life – and making it real by saying it out loud.
'But who? Rachel? She would be sad – sure, because she had liked him – but she had never understood Steve's and his relationship. Getting Steve out of jail instead of flying away with her and Grace was something she absolutely couldn't comprehend or work out.
Charlie? Too young. Grace? No, not yet. Mary? Oh god, Mary. How do I explain this to her?
There was only one option. The only other person he had truly loved – just in a different way.
"What do you mean Steve is dead? If this is supposed to be a joke, it is not funny!
And I can tell you he is not dead. I can feel it."
"It's not a joke Catherine. He died…" Danny took a look at his watch "three hours ago. Hos…hospital had called me. No joke. He was my best friend, Catherine. Why would I make jokes about his death?"
"Danno?"
"You are not supposed to call me that. Only Grace and…"
"Danno! Hey! Can you hear me? Come one."
Danny's body jerked then he opened his eyes.
"Steve?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here. You are in my house. Remember the game? You had too much beer and asked me if you can crash here."
"You are not dead?"
"Why…looks like you had a bad dream."
"Bad dream? No! It was a nightmare. I don't want to have this one ever again."
"Can imagine that."
"What do you know?" Danny asked annoyed. He didn't know why. He was supposed to be relieved that his best friend was still alive but the way Steve had said "I can imagine that" sounded like he really knew - but he couldn't, right? 'It was my dream, wasn't it?'
"I know that you were tossing and turning and sweating and mumbled something about "died" and since you had just asked me "you are not dead?", I suppose it was me who died."
Danny just stared at his friend, so the latter continued.
"Imagining it would have been you who had died, man, I would have lost control of my heart ,my lungs, my brain, my whole body. I would have been shaken to the core until my legs wouldn't have carried me anymore.
Danny if I'd ever get the call that you have…have died, I'd be devastated and wouldn't function anymore for a long time."
"That…that is exactly what had happened."
"Why? Danny, why did you dream something like this?"
"Because…" Danny said hesitantly. He wasn't sure what he should tell his friend but then he decided to tell the truth. "Because…like I've told you yesterday, I am concerned about your health. I am afraid that…that something like…like my dream is becoming true. And I don't want to lose you."
"This…this is the result of your concern?
Danny you should have told me earlier. I would have kept you in the loop, would have taken you with me to the doctor's appointments. I've never wanted you to go through something like this."
"It was the first time it was that bad. Maybe…maybe because we had talked about it."
"Maybe. Maybe not. I don't care. From now on you are in on everything regarding the poisoning.
And you won't sleep alone at your house for the next…until we've sorted this out."
"Steve…"
"This is not debatable. I can't let you sleep like this."
"I just told you it was the first time."
"Yeah. I've heard. What…what if I hadn't been here, huh? You would probably still be dreaming. You were already crying Danny." Steve sighed. "I am sorry Danny. If I just had known."
"It's okay. You know now. Don't know if it makes things better when I know every medical detail, but at least I know where we are at then.
I think I'll take a shower and try to wash away the horror."
When Danny got up, Steve pulled him into a tight and unexpected hug.
"Whoa. What is this?" Danny called surprised.
"My way to say I am sorry I didn't make you see that I was taking this seriously and that I am scared too."
"Making me see that super SEAL is scared too wouldn't have changed anything, probably would have made things just worse. But thanks for telling me. Now I know that you are not only super SEAL but also still human. And that makes me feel better, knowing that you not ignoring this because you think you are indestructible.
I love you buddy."
"I love you too."
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