Winter Break l - The Complicated Sex Life Of Ben - Chapter 80 by Fireces full book limited free

80 Winter Break l

DECEMBER 2003, WINTER BREAK

It was just after 2am when I finally returned home. The party was pretty much over, just a few stragglers hanging around. The music was off and the lights were low. And being the only resident still up and about, I felt it was my duty to usher out the final guests.

Marian Liu was on the back patio smoking something that didn't smell like a cigarette with two guys. She seemed to be trying to decide which one to take home; and when I arrived, her decision was made to just take them both back with her.

I found Julie Carpenter and her boyfriend Lloyd making out in the bathroom. I would have thought this completely ordinary except that Kerri Trainor was on her knees sucking his cock. I just smirked and told them to take it back to their own place, wishing Lloyd luck. I'd certainly found myself in the same position more than a few times.

Luckily there was no one passed out somewhere, so I didn't have to worry on that regard. The closest was Tony Calderon, who was asleep on the couch with Jamie Miano, the Tri-Delt freshman, under the crook of his arm. I got them both up and sent them on their way, most likely to Tony's place.

And then I finally went into my own bedroom.

You'd think that after spending five minutes walking back in 40-degree weather from Ryan's and Dawn's apartment that I'd have lost my erection. You'd think that spending another ten or so minutes ushering partygoers from my house would have made damn sure I'd gone limp.

But no, I hadn't. The whole time I was walking home, shooing out guests, and cursing my sense of morality that wouldn't let me sleep with Dawn when Ryan didn't really want me to, I was envisioning the way Dawn looked tonight. I saw her beautiful face. I saw her full, firm, and naked breasts. I saw her flat tummy and flared hips and the pink juncture between her thighs. I saw the way her lips were parted (both sets) as she panted softly ... panting in arousal ... for ME.

And I was still hard.

Yeah, the damn thing was starting to ache a bit.

And so it was with this massive erection that I entered my room and found it already occupied. I hadn't expected any company and so wasn't the quietest of people as I shut the door, dropped my keys, wallet, and cell phone onto the dresser, and started pulling off my shoes. Only then did I see the head pick up off my pillow as a gorgeous girl turned to look at me.

Hunched over, my hands still on my shoelaces, I froze in surprise. Beautiful young Meli, still clad in that dark, sleeveless crop-top, sat up and let the blankets fall down to her waist. Her gold-flecked eyes stared in amusement at me, and as I stood up straight her eyes went up with me before dropping right back down to the obvious bulge in my jeans.

Her face was flushed with arousal and she was sweating lightly. Licking her lips, the young stranger I'd only met this evening stared straight at my crotch as she asked in a heated voice, "Is that for me?"

I blinked just once and then moved. I didn't ask any questions. I didn't wonder what circumstances had brought about her presence in my bed. I simply strode over, put my arms on Meli's shoulders, and bore her onto her back across the mattress while fastening my lips over hers.

I was horny. And I was about to get laid.

"Nnnnhhh..." Meli moaned when I pulled my lips off hers and moved them down her neck. I arched myself while she frantically tugged at the blanket to get it out from between us. Once that was accomplished, her hands slid around to the hem of my shirt, jerking upwards until I got up and tossed it over my head. And then I paused for a second to admire the pretty girl beneath me.

Meli had caught my notice from the very first time I laid eyes on her, even flanked by three other pretty girls in Jocelyn, Kelly, and Jamie. Meli's 5'10" height and model slenderness got my attention. Her extremely pretty face held it. And her youthful, almost innocent quality got me really engaged.

But I wasn't thinking about youthful innocence anymore. I was thinking about fucking a hot babe; and from the way Meli was scrabbling at her clothes, she was thinking the same thing. Her dark crop-top was tight-fitting, but she managed to wriggle it over her head on the way up her arms. This left her perky tits completely bare to me, and just when the material was covering her face, I put a hand on the top to trap it over Meli's face while leaning down to swirl my tongue around an erect nipple.

"Mrf!" Meli squeaked into her shirt, which was still bound around her arms and face, blinding her. She couldn't remove the shirt while I held onto it, and she was completely at my mercy as I continued lavishing my oral attentions on her perky titties.

I didn't leave her helpless for long. After a minute of suckling I helped her remove the top and she shot me a look of mild annoyance. Clearly, she wasn't a tie-me- up-and-have-your-way-with me kind of girl, especially since we barely knew each other and she had no reason to trust me. Actually, if she'd been listening to all the girls' gossip, she'd have every reason to believe I'd have my way with her and then move on to the next girl.

But she wanted me to have my way with her first.

I grinned and kissed her in apology. Then I slid down the bed, taking her shorts and panties with me on the way. And I finished by giving her a much better apology, this time with my tongue in her twat.

"Oh, yesss..." Meli hissed as my tongue sank deeper into her channel, quickly joined by a finger. She was soaking wet, and from the heavy volume I imagined she'd been playing with herself long before I came into the bedroom. But her pussy was still quite tight and I only needed one finger to wriggle around while I licked and suckled on her clit and the other erogenous spots around her pussy.

I started working her up to a quick orgasm, but after a minute or two she grabbed at my shoulders and tugged, gasping, "Forget it. Just get up here and fuck me!"

My instincts told me to ignore her and give her a quick orgasm first, entering her while she was still in the throes of climax. But after everything that had gone on tonight with Dawn, I'd been hard for too long and I was craving my own release. So I swiftly slid up the bed and swabbed my mushroom head through her wet labia.

"Oh, shit!" Meli groaned and then looked down between her legs. "It's so BIG!"

I grinned and rubbed around a bit more, building up moisture on my cockhead. "Not really. But this may stretch a bit." And then I pushed forward.

"Aiiiiii!" Meli squealed as I parted her folds and began sinking inside. She was really tight and for a second, I wondered which girl had the tighter cunt, Meli or Robin. Despite her height, Meli was quite thin and she certainly felt just as constricting as Robin had earlier that night.

"I TOLD you it was big!" Meli complained as I pushed another couple of inches inside and then withdrew. And then she simply let her head lay back as I slowly pumped in and out of her until at last she adjusted and I was fully buried inside her sweet pussy.

"How does it feel?" I husked as I began kissing her neck.

"So full," Meli moaned in response as she hooked her ankles around mine and tugged tightly, trying to feel how deep I could get.

I nibbled my way down her shoulder as the young girl got used to the feeling of having me fully inside her. And then I pushed myself up and off her chest to look down once again at her face. "You really ARE gorgeous, you know that?" I said in wonder.

She smiled and then chuckled. "You're just saying that to get into my panties."

"I already am," I grinned.

"Ooh ... I know..." Meli sighed and turned her head. "I can't believe we're doing this. I don't even know you." She shook her head.

"We can change that," I said softly as I withdrew about six inches and then swiftly thrust forward again. She groaned and sighed and looked at me. Then I asked, "What did the other girls tell you about me?"

She shook her head. "Not much, actually. It was all sex, sex, and more sex. Jocelyn and Kelly talked about how you made half the girls they know pass out from too much pleasure. Kerri and Julie talked about how agile your tongue was, doing things they couldn't believe were possible. And Dayna told me you two used to have all these random late night hookups for the fun of it."

I raised my eyebrows. "You get around. How DO you know everybody?"

Meli smiled enigmatically and then hunched her hips up at me. "You know, let's play twenty questions later. How 'bout you do your legendary sex god stuff on me first and then we'll get to know each other before fucking again, m'kay?"

It sounded like a plan to me.

Meli and I never did the "getting to know you" stuff. I fucked her to two orgasms and then remembered my Hawaiian, telling her "Ale ko'u kai" when she eagerly took me into her mouth and let me blow my load down her throat, the young girl swallowing like a champ.

She didn't take her mouth off my cock, either. The pretty, exotic-looking babe rolled me onto my back and continued sucking to get me hard again. I looked down at her very pretty face, those gold-flecked eyes staring up at me while her brown and gold-streaked hair hung around her face. The only thing she was wearing was that puka shell necklace, something that looked mysteriously familiar to me somehow; but with her mouth on my cock I wasn't thinking too hard about it.

When I was hard again, Meli swiftly replaced her mouth with her pussy, sinking down onto me with a throaty moan. "Still so fucking BIG!" she exclaimed as she hit bottom. I just gripped her hips and started guiding her up and down.

By now, I'd figured out most of Meli's triggers and sensitive spots, and taking her to another climax was pretty easy. Her tits were small, not quite B-cups, but they were very sensitive. Like most young girls I knew, she was at first squeamish when my fingers played around her ass; but at the moment of climax, a little pressure against her anus heightened her pleasure. And of course I had easy access to her clit while she rode me up and down.

But now it was time to put her out. After cumming in Robin and once with Meli, I felt like I only had one round left in the chamber and I was getting tired as the hour ticked past 3am. So gripping Meli's tight ass in my hands, I held her body against me and rolled us over into a missionary position without dislodging my cock from her cunt.

"Oh, shit," Meli groaned as I began thrusting into her. She was relaxed beneath me, absorbing each blow, and I took advantage of her state by raising her legs and putting both of them over my shoulders. Folding her in half and pounding her was a fantasy from the house party that I wanted to live out.

"Oh, shit!" Meli whimpered when I pushed forward, taking her legs with me and rolling her ass up and off the bed. In this new position, I was able to drive almost vertically downwards into her pussy, hammering her even deeper than before. The young babe tossed her head left and right while I folded her beneath me, really dicking her hard. And soon we were both ramping up to our final orgasms.

"It's so good! I can't believe it! Fuck me! Fuck me!" she gasped and tried to hump herself back at me.

"Urgh, urgh, urgh!" I grunted with every thrust. I usually did my best work around midnight or at 7am. My circadian rhythms were off and I was struggling a bit to keep up the pace after 3am.

"Fuck me! Fuck me! Harder! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Meli screamed and scrabbled at my back, her nails digging into my shoulder blades.

"Ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh!" I wound up grunting as I sped up my thrusts, losing myself to the uncontrollable final short rows. I didn't have much time left, and I ran my lips up Meli's long neck and then bit down gently just below the left side of her jaw. My left hand slid up to grip her right breast, tracing my thumb along the sensitive undercurve while my index and middle fingers bracketed her nipple. I pivoted my hips so that each thrust of my pelvic bone would impact against her clit. And at the very last moment, I popped my right index finger into her ass for the very first time all night.

It was all a little desperate for me, and I wasn't even sure it was enough. Normally I would have spent another five minutes getting Meli primed to be knocked out, but I simply couldn't last any longer. But fortunately for me, it was enough.

"AAAAAIIIII!!!" Meli screamed right into my ear, the sound deafening. Her legs clamped around my neck as if she were trying to strangle me. Her butt kicked higher off the bed as she tried to get away from the finger in her ass while simultaneously clenching down around it. And I felt the tremors in her pussy as a massive orgasm swept across her body at the same time.

My eyes were closed as I hammered her for another three strokes and then held myself at maximum penetration, grunting in relief as I felt the flood pour out of me. Meli jerked again when she felt the first jets splashing inside of her spasming pussy. And then the two of us were lost to the riot of orgasmic bliss as we thrashed and humped and screamed in ecstasy.

The tall, slender young babe went limp before I was done sperming her. Her legs were still trapped over my shoulders, so her body was still curled up and off the bed, with only her shoulders against the mattress. My own feet were digging into the bed to hold us in that position; and with my cock pointed almost straight down, I squirted out the final drops of cum to join the lake forming inside her teenaged vagina. And when I rocked back onto my heels while slowly removing her legs from my shoulders, I saw that Meli had indeed passed out from her pleasure.

I was dizzy for a few seconds from the force of my orgasm and from unconsciously holding my breath while I was squirting. I was getting steadier with each passing second; but I felt so tired that I decided to just succumb to the vertigo and laid down next to Meli's unconscious form. Finally, I pulled the blankets over both our naked bodies and cuddled up next to my young lover. And then I sighed and went to sleep.

"WHAT THE FUCK???"

The male voice cracked in the air like a gunshot, loud enough and harsh enough to startle me from my slumber. My eyes flew open as I instinctively woke up and turned toward the sound of danger. Automatically, I grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to my chin as a shield over my naked body while my eyes tried to focus on the visibly upset young man in front of me.

Matt Kanemura, Brandi's boyfriend, stood in the doorway with an expression of shock, outrage, and purely unadulterated hate on his face. "MELI! What the FUCK happened?"

Behind me, my most recent lover grabbed onto my arm and whimpered in fear, pushing her nose and the lower-half of her face against my shoulder. Apparently, Meli had just been startled awake as well.

"HOLY SHIT!" Matt continued yelling. "Did he... ? Did you... ? Oh, FUCK! I'll fucking KILL you!" He started stomping forward and I immediately held my hands up in defense.

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!" I stammered and backed up on the bed, Meli still cowering behind me.

"You get the HELL away from my little sister!" Matt raged.

"Whoa, what? Sister? What?" I jerked around wide-eyed and stared at Meli. Only then did I look at her neck, and everything clicked for me: the necklace. She and Matt had identical puka shell necklaces. Come to think of it, Matt and Meli had similar tans and facial structures, with an exotic mixed Asian heritage. "You're his sister?" I gasped in shock.

Meli just nodded rapidly and wordlessly.

Ah, hell.

I sat up and slid away from Meli, more for Matt's benefit than anything else, until I my back was against the headboard. My hands were still in the air and I looked at him with wide-eyes. "I didn't know, Matt. I swear."

"She's just a kid! She's still in High School!" Matt screamed at me.

"I didn't know," I pleaded again. Well, that explained Meli's youthful appearance.

"What the hell happened?" he yelled at me. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I blinked twice. "It's my bedroom."

Suddenly Brandi was in the doorway behind Matt. He turned around to look at her and then back at me. "You were supposed to be gone for the night! You left with Dawn and Gwen!"

I blinked again. "Stuff happened. I came home." I turned and looked at Meli, who was staring downward while clutching the blankets around her naked body, blushing pink in embarrassment. By now, Adrienne had also arrived in the doorway and was looking in curiously.

"Did you assault her?" Matt thundered at me.

"What? No! Of course not!" I protested.

Matt turned on his little sister. "You wanted to sleep with him?"

"I was horny..." Meli pouted. "Do you know how thin the walls are here? I could hear people fucking upstairs and in the next room all night! I was rubbing myself for an hour before he came in."

"I sent you in here to sleep!" Matt groaned at his sister.

"Wait, YOU put her in my bed?" I asked.

"I thought you were GONE!" Matt growled. Then he turned and harshly jabbed a at Brandi. "Actually, it was YOUR idea! YOU told me to let her sleep in here! This is YOUR fault!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Brandi held her hands up. "YOU were horny, too, Matt! YOU asked me what to do with your sister so you could spend the night with me! We were BOTH there when Dawn took him out. We BOTH thought he'd be gone for the night. And it was a free bed."

"Worst fucking mistake of my life!" Matt yelled. "FUCK!" He turned and glared at me. I knew the look. It was the same look he'd given me when he caught me with my dick up Brandi's ass. And it was the same look he'd given me every now and again ever since. It was a look of pure hate and disgust, and I'll never forget that look for the rest of my life. He'd caught me fucking his girlfriend (my own sister); and now he'd caught me fucking his sister. Let's just say I wasn't expecting the guy to send me a Christmas card.

I now turned to Meli. "You weren't waiting for me?"

The young girl blinked and shook her head. "I didn't know you were coming home."

I winced. "But I thought ... And when I walked in ... you..."

"Oh, I wanted it," Meli shook her head. "I just didn't plan it."

Ah, hell. I'd just assumed she was in my bed to seduce me.

Hanging his head, Matt seethed quietly for a few seconds before snapping his head back up and whirling back to the bed. "Get dressed," he barked at Meli, pointing his finger threateningly at her. Then he turned and glared at Brandi. "We're leaving."

Silently, Meli slipped out of the bed and held an arm over her breasts self- consciously. The only two guys in the room were me and her brother, and Matt was deliberately averting his eyes while she snatched up her crop-top, panties, and shorts. She got dressed, and then with Matt still looking the other way, she came up and pecked me quickly on the cheek. Her eyes apologized for the words she couldn't say, and then she moved away. "Okay, I'm done," she announced.

Matt turned and grabbed her hand. And then without a backwards glance, he practically dragged her out the door and out of the house.

Sighing, I snagged some pajama pants and got out of bed. I went out my door and stood next to Brandi and Adrienne, who were thoughtful as they stared out the open front door.

Just then, Dayna and Kevin came sleepily down the stairs and looked over at us. "Heard a ruckus," Dayna commented while yawning. "What'd we miss?"

I slammed the trunk closed on the Mustang and looked up to watch Adrienne let Brandi into the back before folding the passenger seat into place and jumping in herself. Only, Brandi wasn't getting in. Her hand was over her mouth and she was staring at her cell phone in shock.

Adrienne looked over, made a noise, and then brought her hands up to Brandi's shoulders, squeezing comfortingly. I realized that something was wrong and went around as well.

Peering over Brandi's left shoulder, I saw the screen the girls were still staring at and realized it was a text message from Matt: Can't do this anymore. We're done.

Sadness for Brandi mixed with anger at Matt. Seriously, a text message? After the years they'd been together? But I realized I'd had a significant role in the break-up and I immediately turned to my big sister. "Brandi, I'm SO sorry."

[SMACK!]

My eyes popped open in shock that Brandi had just slapped me. She had raised her hand again, holding it a few feet away from her head. Her face was a look of pure rage and as she glared at me, her teeth grinding and her irises aflame. Her hand vibrated with energy as she decided whether she wanted to hit me again or not.

Wincing, I just closed my eyes and braced myself for the blow.

And I waited...

And I waited...

Maybe she wasn't going to hit me again? I started cracking my eyelids open and-

[SMACK!]

"Owww!!!" I turned and held my cheek.

"Brandi!" Adrienne was now holding Brandi's wrist, stopping her from hitting me one more time.

"GAWD DAMMIT, BEN!" Brandi yelled at me. "Why'd you have to DO that?"

"It's not his fault!" Adrienne said loudly while trying to restrain Brandi's flailing limbs without hurting her.

"Of COURSE it's his fault!" Brandi screeched. "My boyfriend fucking broke up with me by fucking text because Ben fucking slept with my boyfriend's fucking little sister!"

"She was in his bed and she came onto him," Adrienne argued. "What did you THINK he would do?"

"Oh, I KNOW what he would do. He fucking DID it! He fucking did HER!" Brandi squalled and kept flailing, now trying to hit Adrienne.

But a second later, all the fight went out of Brandi and she literally collapsed straight down, sitting on the asphalt of the driveway. She buried her face in her hands and rivers of tears poured out from around her fingers. "Why do you have to be YOU, Ben? WHY?"

"Brandi, I'm sorry," I pleaded and reached out to her. But she immediately raised an open palm straight at me in a clear 'keep away' gesture. I stopped and gritted my teeth.

"Why couldn't you be just a normal little brother? Just an ordinary boy?"

"An ordinary boy STILL would have slept with Meli if she threw herself at him like that," Adrienne pointed out.

"But an ordinary boy would never have attracted Meli in the first place," Brandi moaned. "An ordinary boy wouldn't have two dozen girls in the house raving about how good he was in bed all night."

Adrienne and I looked at each other. We didn't have much defense for that.

Brandi whimpered, "An ordinary boy wouldn't have seduced ME and started this fuck up in the first place..."

Adrienne barked sharply, "Brandi, you don't mean that!"

My older sister sighed and put her forehead down on her upraised kneecaps, clutching her arms around her legs. "I wish we'd never gotten started, Ben. I regret everything I've ever done with you. I hate you and I wish you'd just fucking get out of my life."

"Brandi!" Adrienne gasped.

Now I felt like collapsing onto the ground and crying.

It was a quiet drive home. Brandi hid out in the back seat, not talking to either one of us. Mercifully, she fell asleep after the first two hours and didn't wake up again until we were home.

Adrienne drove us instead of me, at least halfway. I was pretty shell-shocked myself after everything that had happened since last night. Between the party and the Swingers game and Dawn and then Meli and Matt and Brandi, I was so emotionally wiped out I could barely see straight.

Seeing straight is kinda useful for driving, you understand.

But after we stopped for gas and snacks, Brandi still dozing in the back seat, I felt good enough to drive and wanted something to focus on. So I took over driving and we made it back just after 4pm.

"We're home," I called after pulling my key from the door, glancing around the foyer. I moved forward and Adrienne followed after me, dropping her purse and duffel bag onto the floor. Almost immediately, our parents came out from the family room and embraced us with warm hugs.

"Ohhh, we missed you," Mom hummed as she patted my back. We then switched partners and I hugged my dad while Adrienne embraced Mom.

"Brandi?" Dad asked.

"Still asleep in the car," Adrienne explained. "She, ah, had a rough morning."

"I'll get her," Dad volunteered and went out through the doorway.

"Oh, I want a bath," Adrienne groaned and stretched.

"You'll have to wait until we unload the car," I remarked with a smirk, summoning what little humor I had left.

"The car can wait," Mom interrupted us with a quietly serious tone. "Ben, Adrienne: Eden wants to see you both."

I knew at once that something was terribly wrong. I was pretty drained, but my adrenaline spiked and in a dangerous voice, I asked hurriedly, "What happened?"

"Everything is fine. Nobody got seriously hurt. And Eden is pretty much unharmed."

'Pretty much'? I sensed a "but" coming and leaned my weight forward in anticipation.

"But," Mom continued. "A boy tried to * Eden last night. Ben, wait-"

I was already halfway up the stairs. Adrienne was right behind me.

A split-second later, I knocked and then rushed into the twins' bedroom without waiting for a response. Eden was in bed, still in her pajamas with the blankets and her favorite stuffed animals surrounding her. Emma was sitting on the end, clearly talking to her twin sister. And both of them looked up excitedly when I came in.

"Ben!" Eden exclaimed in relief and opened her arms to me. I rushed forward and quickly sat on the bed beside her, taking my baby sister under my left arm and trapping her tightly against my side while she wrapped her arms around me.

Adrienne went up and sat behind Emma, draping her arms over the smaller girl's shoulders in a hug from behind as well. And when I looked up I saw that Brooke had also stepped into the room. For now, our parents stayed behind. I'm sure they'd had their own chances to talk to the twins.

"How are you, kiddo?" I asked Eden.

"I'm okay, really. It's no big deal."

"You sure? Mom said some punk tried to * you."

Eden didn't answer but snuggled her face tighter against my chest.

"Who?"

"Dexter Walker," Brooke put in. "He's a Junior."

My eyebrows rose as I looked up at Brooke. "Did you say 'Walker'? Any relation to Drew?"

Brooke winced and nodded. "Little brother. Basketball player." I saw some of her own old demons surfacing in her expression.

My eyes met Adrienne's and I could see the same fire in her eyes. I could feel the buzz in the back of my head that told me we were on the same wavelength. So my eyes asked if she still had those pointy-toed shoes and Adrienne was already nodding with me in agreement. "Where is he?" I growled and stood up off the bed.

Eden grabbed my arm and said, "Ben, don't."

Brooke's eyes were aflame as she stared back at me, some sort of vengeance on her mind. "He usually plays ball on the weekends at the old courts. You know, where Drew used to practice?"

I knew exactly where the courts were and started to move away. But Eden tugged me back. "Please Ben, don't! It's my own fault!"

I rotated my head down and looked in shock at my little sister. "Your fault? Did you say 'no'?"

"Yes, I did."

"And did he stop?"

Eden winced. "No, he didn't."

"Then it's not your fucking fault!" I yelled.

Eden cowered and winced when I swore at her. I immediately scrunched my face up and said in a much calmer voice, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

She just gave me the puppy-dog look, looking small and helplessly vulnerable. I didn't have any choice but to quickly sink back onto the bed, holding my arms open for Eden to merge up against me. I rubbed her head and then said as calmly as I could, "Tell me what happened."

I remembered back to my Junior year of High School when Brooke and her Freshman acolytes first started traipsing around the school in stylish new clothes that did much to emphasize their developing assets. The skimpy tops and push- up bras gave them cleavage and the skintight jeans hugged their butts. My own best friend Kenny commented more than once about how hot the Freshman girls were; and he even perved on my own little sister.

Eden and Emma were those hot freshman girls now, and like their older sisters before them, they had world-class asses and adorably pretty faces. Brandi had been one of the hot, popular girls years ago. Brooke had followed her by becoming one of the hottest girls in her class — even Adrienne had pointed that out back in the day. And now my twin baby sisters were hot new girls on campus. Only heightening their appeal was that they'd followed Adrienne's and Brooke's advice and joined the Junior Varsity Cheerleaders.

Back when I was still in school, the guys frequently discussed Top 10 lists: Top 10 racks, Top 10 asses, Top 10 Sluts, Top 10 Bitches, or Top 10 girls ... period. (Adrienne was at the top of that one. Actually, she was at the top of a lot of lists.) There was also the Top 10 Freshmen girls, an annually-compiled list celebrating the sweet, young blood that entered campus with almost no idea what predators awaited them. Brooke had found out that Eden and Emma were tied at number 4. And the upperclassmen had moved in fast.

On Brooke's advice, the twins had played it coy and not accepted solo dates. This early in their High School careers, it was too easy for a guy to brag that he'd nailed a Freshman girl, especially a cheerleader, even if he hadn't. The guy would get props from his friends and the girl would get a reputation as a slut even before she had a chance to get started. It was unfair; but it was High School.

Brooke had also cautioned the twins that these older boys were nothing like the eighth-graders they'd known before. These boys had experience, were smooth talkers, and were manipulative. They'd say anything to get laid, and the twins learned this part firsthand over their first semester as High Schoolers.

Brooke had told the twins of some of her own experiences, being a good big sister in warnings and making herself available for advice. But through all that, Brooke never told the twins exactly what happened to her that night at Drew Walker's house. She never even mentioned Drew's name. Perhaps it was because she was embarrassed about the incident. Perhaps it was because she herself had done her best to forget it. But the point was, the twins didn't know about Drew and they had no warning that Dexter Walker might be a carbon-copy of his big brother.

The twins had been at a friend's house for a semi-annual post-Finals party, not unlike Elaine Fukuhara's parties I went to throughout High School. They were with their crew of all girls, six of them in total, just enjoying each other's company and talking about boys when Dexter meandered by. It was a Sophomore boy hosting the party, and while there weren't many upperclassmen in attendance, Dexter was friends with some of them as well.

As it turned out, Dexter had been flirting with Eden for the past month. He impressed her in that he was one of the few boys who could always tell Eden and Emma apart — the twins usually looked down on any boy who tried to flirt with them both because he was too dumb to realize which twin he was with. And Eden was also impressed that a Junior, a handsome Varsity basketball jock, was flirting with her.

The four other girlfriends tittered when Dexter came by to flirt with Eden. Dexter's boys were also flirting with them. And when Dexter asked if Eden wanted to see the new sound system he'd put in his car, she agreed. Emma warned her it probably wasn't a good idea, but Eden was too smitten at the time to listen. She reasoned that even if she was alone with the boy, they were just going out to the street for a bit, not actually for a drive. And besides, she knew she could take care of herself. The only risk might be to her reputation, but it was a status boost for a freshman girl to be with a Varsity jock, and she deemed it worth the risk. As long as she came back in a couple of minutes, it wouldn't be a big deal.

Dexter's Chevy had a front bench seat and he snuggled Eden under his arm while showing her the sound system. She squeaked a bit when he started the car and pulled away from the curb, but he explained that you had to hear the car's engine running and the road noise to appreciate how good the sound system was. The point of listening to music in a car is to do so while driving. It made a logical kind of sense, and Eden swallowed her objections.

Fortunately, they didn't drive very far away. The party was in the hills and just two blocks up, Dexter parked on a bluff overlooking the city below. He also switched from playing loud metal to the KOST 103.5FM radio station, known for playing slow, cheesy love songs at all hours of the day. And there, the handsome Junior finally got in a kiss.

It wasn't the first. Dexter had stolen kisses in the school hallways from Eden twice in the past week. Eden had even concocted a plan to send Emma after him, just as a test, but the guy instantly recognized Emma and just chatted smoothly before asking about Eden, claiming he felt like he was falling in love with her. So now, while they were making out in Dexter's car, Eden's hormones kicked in and she was soon welcoming Dexter's hands on her budding breasts.

Unfortunately, Dexter couldn't maintain the control and slow-seduction he'd been running up until this point. As their kisses increased in intensity and their hands started wandering over each other's bodies, hormones took over the both of them. Eden actually started it by grabbing at Dexter's bulge, and quickly the guy had his pants and shorts tugged down while Eden stroked him excitedly.

That's when Dexter pushed her down and started pulling her panties off. He didn't ask. He didn't plead. He just MOVED. Only at that point did Eden realize she'd gone a little further than she was comfortable with, and she tried to clamp her legs shut and push him off, telling him to stop.

Predictably, Dexter got mad. He complained about how he couldn't control himself, that Eden was too pretty. He said that it was Eden's fault that he got this worked up, because Eden had started things by grabbing his cock and then giving him a handjob. He complained that he would get blue balls and that it wasn't fair. And Eden, worried that she'd upset this handsome, popular jock, offered to at least get him off.

But Dexter wouldn't accept a handjob. "I need you," he'd pleaded.

"I'm a virgin," Eden had protested. "And I'm not on the pill."

"But I love you," he'd urged. "And I promise I'll pull out."

But Eden wouldn't back down. She was saving herself, and besides that she really was scared at this point. Any horniness or arousal she'd been feeling had evaporated, replaced by nothing but fear. Brooke had warned her about how boys got when they were this horny, and that they were capable of anything.

Seeking something to defuse the situation, she offered to give Dexter a blowjob. She'd never given one to anyone other than me, but she HAD to give him something.

So she blew him. And he ALMOST came. But just before they got to that point, Dexter shoved Eden back, ripped away her panties, and tried to mount her. She fought him off as best she could, finally scratching his cheek and kneeing him in the stomach. And then she managed to open the passenger door and scramble out, running the two blocks back to the party, where she called home for our parents to pick them up.

Dexter never bothered to come back to the party and Eden was visibly upset with a torn blouse and running makeup. The rumors whipped around the party like wildfire, each telling more outlandish than the last. Some boy overheard Eden telling her friends that Dexter tore her panties off, and then for the rest of the time before Dad arrived, boys kept trying to sneak a look up her skirt. She'd just gotten assaulted and other boys were now trying to sneak peeks? Boys just disgusted her right now.

Dad got the twins home. They told their story and even called Brooke home from her own date. And then they'd cuddled up and waited for the rest of the family to come home from Berkeley.

"Why didn't anyone tell us?" I asked heatedly. It took conscious effort on my part not to squeeze Eden too hard, given that my fists were clenched and I was thinking of all the terrible things I could do to Dexter.

Brooke sighed. "They didn't want you to panic and do something stupid, Ben. You were already driving home the next day. The last thing they wanted was for you to drive like a demon and get everyone killed in a stupid accident."

I frowned. "I did just fine when I drove after Dawn that one time."

"That one time is exactly why Mom didn't call you," Brooke drawled.

I snarled and then stood up again. Only now did I realize that at some point during Eden's story, Brandi had also slipped into the room. But my looks went to Adrienne and Brooke and I asked Brooke, "Do you think they're still at the courts?"

"Ben, don't," Brandi warned.

"Ben, please," Eden whimpered.

"What?" I growled. "This punk has GOT to know he can't mess with my family!"

"He's not a threat anymore," Brandi urged. "Didn't you hear Eden's story? Think about it. He knows he blew any chance he's got of sleeping with her or Emma, or probably any of their friends, at least for now. Every girl he goes out with for the next few months will know about this story, and while some of them might give him the benefit of doubt, he won't go near the twins again."

"Oh, he certainly won't go near them once I'm through with him. He won't even be able to walk."

"Ben! Please," Brandi urged. "I know you're trying to be a big brother but you're 19 and he's a minor. It's assault if you touch him."

"I don't care! Throw me in jail! I will NOT let him get off scot free!"

Brandi sighed. "Maybe not scot free. But Mom was right; we don't need you going off half-cocked and doing something stupid right now. You're tired, you're stressed, and you didn't get much sleep last night."

Adrienne touched my arm. "She's right."

"Fuck that!" Brooke growled. "Go kick his ass!"

"That's two to two," Emma pointed out.

"This isn't a democracy!" I barked at Emma. "This is my call!"

"No. It's Eden's call," Adrienne said softly. Then she sat down in my old spot and hugged her adoptive baby sister. "Eden, sweetie. What do you want to do right now."

Eden sniffled. And in the shyest, most innocent voice, she whimpered, "I just want my brother to hold me."

All sense of fight flew out of me. My heart went out to her and I quickly moved back to the bed. Adrienne moved out of the way and let me climb onto the bed. I wrapped my arm around my baby sister's back, cuddling her up against my side. And Eden whimpered and went back to hugging herself against my chest.

"I'm here, kiddo," I told her confidently while squeezing her tightly. "Nothing bad can happen to you now."

We met as a family for dinner, and while Eden was still far less talkative than normal, she was feeling much better. Having her entire family around her was doing wonders for her sense of calm.

After dinner, we six "kids" congregated once again in the twins' bedroom. And one-by-one, we shared our stories as well. Eden had to know that she wasn't the only one to have gone through something like this. She had to know it wasn't her fault. And she had to know that she would recover.

We got started because the twins wanted to know about Drew Walker, Dexter's older brother. I started to explain before Brooke cut me off, stating, "It's my story to tell."

Brooke then laid out how she'd succumbed to the same dreams of popularity and a handsome jock. The parallels between her story and Eden's were chilling, but they'd even gone a step further. Brooke wasn't a virgin at the time, and she admitted that she'd willingly slept with Drew at a party. But Brooke cautioned that boys try to get more than you give them, and sometimes they even spring surprises on you in the hopes that you'll just go along with it. Brooke then explained about Marco. And she told the twins how, when she was helpless, Drew had sodomized her over her objections.

"What happened to him?"

Brooke blushed and told the twins about Adrienne and me picking a fight with Drew and Marco, ultimately leading to our suspensions. The twins remembered that we'd been suspended for fighting, but never knew exactly why. Now, it all made sense to them.

I smiled at the memory. That week of suspension had put Adrienne and me on the path to getting back together. And when I looked up at Adrienne, I found that she was smiling and looking at me as well. Things hadn't worked out romantically for us in the end, but we were still together in our own way.

"Whatever happened to Drew after that?" I wondered aloud.

Brooke smirked. "I wondered about that myself. I never really knew after he left for college. But just a couple of weeks ago, one of my friends at UCLA told me she heard he'd gotten kicked off the basketball team for doing drugs."

"Steroids?" I arched an eyebrow.

Brooke shook her head. "Weed." She smirked. "Turns out he wasn't a good enough player to get away with it. Seems his lateral mobility was never the same after Adrienne's kick."

Adrienne grinned, Brooke chuckled, and I had a smile of my own.

But when the room quieted down again, Eden said, "Okay, that's Brooke's story. But you guys mentioned that weekend when Ben just disappeared and drove up to Dawn's place. What happened to Dawn?"

I took a deep breath, looked at my sisters around me, and then nodded. This one was my story to tell.

If the twins were freaked out by the idea of Drew Walker, a guy Brooke had willingly slept with, going further than she wanted, they were terrified by the story of Mark Everson and Dawn. Drew was an upperclassman and a popular jock; the twins knew they needed to be careful with how far they let a guy like that go.

But Mark had been a 'nice guy'. And while the twins could see how a consensual encounter might get out of hand like with Drew and Brooke or with Dexter and Eden, they couldn't comprehend someone like Mark deliberately drugging Dawn and then raping her while she was barely conscious. Right then and there, the twins swore they would never accept a drink from anyone else ever again.

But just when I thought the twins were horrified enough, Eden asked Adrienne what she'd felt like when Adam was raping her. They still vividly remembered the story I'd told them after Adam showed up the past summer.

Adrienne squirmed at first, but she went on to talk about how she felt helpless and that no one would believe her. She talked about how she hadn't had a loving family around her for support. She would have LOVED to have this kind of gathering, the way we were having right now. But it wasn't there for her when she needed it. "Never hesitate to get your family involved, girls," Adrienne told them. "You have people who love you and will move heaven and earth to protect you. Ben's already willing to get thrown in jail for what Dexter did to you, Eden. Imagine how far he'd go if someone did worse? Don't ever think that we won't believe you or that we can't help. There's ALWAYS something we can do as a family and you are NEVER alone."

The twins solemnly nodded their understanding, with wide eyes and serious expressions. The room went silent as we all pondered everything that had been said this evening.

And then out of the silence, Brandi spoke. "One of Dad's coworkers molested me when I was fourteen."

Adrienne, Brooke, and I stared straight over at Brandi in shock. We'd never heard of this before and our mouths gaped open in surprise. The twins looked confused. To them, this was news, of course. But then, it ALL had been new to them.

Staring off into space, a tear rolled down Brandi's eye as she sank onto Emma's bed. Adrienne was quickly beside her with an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Brandi was wringing her hands together and hunched over, looking at the floor as she whimpered, "I've never told anyone this before. Not even Mom and Dad. I didn't think they'd believe me. I thought I was alone. So I never said a word."

"Ohmigod," Brooke breathed.

"Mom and Dad were hosting a barbecue on Fourth of July, so I was what, 14 and 3 months? Just a few months older than you," Brandi said while looking at the twins. "I don't even know who the guy was. I don't know if he was Dad's boss or just a coworker or even the janitor. But we were running out of paper plates and I volunteered to get more out of the closets in the garage. He volunteered to go with me."

I moved closer to Brandi and knelt on the floor in front of her, holding her hands and staring straight into her eyes. She stared right back at me and said the rest right to me. "It all happened so fast. The plates were on a high shelf and I was getting a step ladder, but he offered to just lift me up. It never occurred to me that he was tall enough to grab them on his own. So he lifted me, and the next thing I knew his hands were on my breasts. He started nibbling on my neck and pawing at me. I was so terrified I couldn't even scream. I didn't fight back. I was just scared stiff. He must have thought that meant I was okay with it or something because then one of his hands was inside my shorts as he was rubbing my pussy. He started to put a finger inside me but he hit my cherry and he let out this big groan and started rubbing himself against my back. Only then did I finally dart away and he just let me run off."

"Oh, Brandi..." Adrienne groaned in agony, no doubt reliving some of her own nightmares.

"I spent the rest of the party in my room. I don't even know what happened to him after that. I was too scared to tell anybody."

Still holding Brandi's hands, I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Brandi. I'm sorry I wasn't brother enough for you back then. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But I promise you that I'm here now. I will ALWAYS be here for you, no matter what."

Still crying, Brandi nodded and then pulled me to her. We hugged while she hooked her chin over my shoulder and clutched me tightly. A second later, Adrienne was hugging her from behind. And right after that, Brooke was wrapped around us as well. And all of us where whispering how we were a family and how we'd always support each other.

From behind me, Eden and Emma were whispering to themselves. And when we older kids finally broke apart, the twins looked seriously at us and said in unison, "We are NEVER going to be alone with a guy ever again."

It was Monday morning when Adrienne came into my bedroom, still clad in her pajamas. With everything else that was going on, one new arrangement that had turned out in my favor was that Brandi invited Adrienne to share her bedroom for the break and therefore leave me to my own bedroom. If Adrienne was bothered by the musical beds and not having a permanent room in our house, she didn't show it. I think she was just happy to have a family to come home to, period. Plus, I think Brandi wanted Adrienne to share the full-size bed at night for occasional comfort sex through the next four weeks.

Apparently last night was one of them. Adrienne was looking sensually gorgeous, as usual, clad in a silky, thin pajama set that clung to her curves like a second skin. The short robe over the top kept the ensemble from being too scorchingly hot, but I still had a clear outline of her big breasts and pokey nipples. And as she sat on the bed beside me, my sex-attuned nose picked up the scent of female pussy juices.

"Morning," Adrienne said sweetly while I cracked an eye open and elbowed myself up. I'd already been awake, but hadn't rolled out of bed yet. "Sleep well?" she asked.

I looked at the clock to see that it was almost 10am. Our parents would already be at work and it was the first time I'd been able to sleep in past 7am. "Apparently I did," I replied, nodding to the clock. "Much better than last night."

Adrienne nodded. "It's been an intense weekend for all of us."

"You didn't seem to have problems sleeping."

She gave me a Cheshire smile. "Well, Brandi and I helped each other get to sleep."

I grinned. "I'll bet." And then I sighed and let my head fall back against the pillow.

"You know," Adrienne drawled. "I was thinking that sleep isn't the only thing you've been lacking lately..."

"Hmm?" I arched an eyebrow with my eyes still closed, still working on waking up completely. But before I could say anything further, I felt Adrienne's hand sliding up my legs, but on top of the covers, until she eventually centered over my crotch and began rubbing lightly.

Now my eyes did open and I propped myself up on my elbows again. Adrienne was already dragging my covers down my body and leaning over to extract my cock from my pajama pants. This position let her tits hang downward and almost fall out of her scooped top, giving me a tantalizing view of her cleavage. And if I wasn't hard before, I was getting really, really hard now.

"You don't have to," I said softly.

"Of course not," Adrienne replied to my cock, stroking it up and down while her lips parted. "You know I do this because I want to. I want to do it for you, to give you some relief. But I also want to do it for me. I've been so busy with these modeling shoots and you've been so busy with the Tri-Delts that it's been a looong time since I got to play with Big Ben here."

I groaned as Adrienne's expert stroking had me stiff as steel. And I groaned again when she bent down and took me into her mouth. "You can play with him whenever the hell you want..."

"Mmm-hmm..." Adrienne hummed around a mouthful of prick. She relaxed her throat and then took me all the way inside, sealing her lips around the base of my cock and sucking hard. And then she popped back up and grinned while stroking me rapidly. "Brandi made me feel really good both last night and this morning, but I've got this itch deep inside me that only you can ever fill. Think you can help me with that, Tiger?"

"Over and over again," I grinned.

"Goody!" Adrienne grinned right back and swiftly stood up next to the bed. Without bothering with the tops of her pajamas, she shimmied out of her pants and panties and dropped them to the floor. The scent of aroused woman hit me full force as she scrambled onto the bed and straddled my hips. We'd done this hundreds of times and I was already in position, holding my cock aloft in my right hand while grabbing her hip with my left. And then with the precise control of a NASA shuttle operator capturing a satellite, I guided her into position and notched my head into her folds.

One lunge and we were joined. Adrienne arched her spine, threw her blonde head back, and sighed, "Aaaaaahhh..." while feeling my prod rubbing against that itchy spot seven-and-three-quarter inches inside her body.

Her pussy muscles milked me for a few seconds, clenching and unclenching in a rippling motion that felt like a third hand. And when Adrienne's exhalation gave out she inhaled again and sat up straight, bending her head to mine and wrapping me up in a passionate nuclear kiss. And in the sweet taste of her lips and the heavenly feeling of being inside her, I felt the past few days' worth of tension melt away.

After everything we'd been through, Adrienne was still together with me. Through the seductions and relationships and breakups and questions about sexual orientation, we still found each other when we needed to. She was right: for her and me, "sibling" was better than "romantic partner". We had all of the love and none of the expectations or disappointments.

"Fuck me, Tiger," Adrienne breathed right in my face with her eyes closed. My ears heard, 'I love you, Ben'. "Fuck me," she repeated.

Her legs were doing most of the work, flexing to move her body up and down my pole while she gripped my shoulders in her hands. My own hands roved around her hips and squeezed her buttcheeks, guiding her motions side-to-side in addition to her vertical humping. I pushed my face forward into her cleavage, licking and suckling the exposed skin of her upper chest. But it wasn't enough for me and I soon slipped my hands beneath her pajama top and started lifting upwards.

Adrienne helped me by first shrugging out of the robe, letting it drag off her arms before I whipped the silky top over her head and then yanked my own T-shirt off as well. That left us both completely naked, and this time when I buried my face in her cleavage, there was nothing keeping my lips and hands from those glorious G-cup melons that I delighted in playing with.

Adrienne crooned happily while I nursed at her swollen nipple. Once again, I got a momentary mental thrill at the idea of suckling breastmilk out of her, fucking up into her body a little harder and spurring myself toward filling her womb with my potent sperm. And she also started fucking back at me with greater enthusiasm.

"You like that, Tiger? You like sucking on my big titties? Feel how nice and firm they are. Taste the sweat off my heaving breasts. Smother yourself in my titflesh!"

"Mmm-hmm!" I mumbled enthusiastically.

"Oh, fuck yeah," Adrienne sighed. "Fuck me harder! Does it feel good? Does my pussy feel tight around you? I know you've been nailing younger girls, thinner girls. Were their pussies tight? Did they feel like virgins? Are you still happy with mine?"

"Fuck yeah," I grunted and gripped her hips, fucking myself into Adrienne's cunt with increased power.

"Oh, FUCK! Fuck me, Tiger!" Adrienne squealed. "Feel my pussy clenching around you. Do those girls know how to do this? Can they squeeze you and caress you like I can? If not, maybe I should teach them. Whaddaya say, can you set up some threesomes with us, Tiger? Can we both fuck you at the same time so I can help teach them how to please you? Will you let me eat out their pretty pussies while you fill my asshole from behind? Huh? Does that sound like fun?"

"Oh, FUCK!" I grunted and really started kicking my hips off the mattress, driving my cock upwards and deeper into her spasming channel.

"Fuck me!" Adrienne cried.

"Ugh!"

"FUCK ME!"

"UGH!"

"I'm cumming! Cum in me! CUM IN ME!"

"UGH!!!"

"AAAAHHHH!" Adrienne arched her spine, threw her blonde head back, and screamed this time. Her body jerked as her climax shot through her like a lightning bolt. And I was cumming at the same time.

"Ughhhh!" I grunted. My body fired jet after jet of cum up and into her body, squirting days' worth of built-up semen out of balls that were used to firing a minimum of three times a day. And I wrapped my arms around her torso and shoved my face into her massive tits while Adrienne screamed and clutched my head tightly against her chest.

Eventually, our orgasms passed and I flopped onto my back, taking Adrienne with me. My cock was still inside her and she wound up laying her head on my chest, breathing rapidly while we both panted after our exertions. And cuddling together, we both smiled happily.

Adrienne only had the one orgasm and she didn't pass out. But I knew from the buzzing chemistry we felt and the wave of happiness pouring out from her that she was far from disappointed.

Dawn was right: the most important part of sexual satisfaction for a girl was not orgasm, but the connection to the person they were with. And as I lay content and happy with only one girl in my arms, Adrienne, I realized that just maybe, it was the same for me, too..

Next chapter


The Butterfly and the Bee IV - The Complicated Sex Life Of Ben - Chapter 85 by Fireces full book limited free

81 Winter Break ll

Christmas Eve, everyone stayed home to hang out together. We played family poker, and Adrienne sharked all of us ... AGAIN. We watched movies while piled together in the family room. The twins were seriously getting too big to keep using me as a backrest, but that didn't stop them from crushing me. Eventually, they talked Adrienne and Brandi into swapping places, the two older girls moving up onto the couch and Eden, me, and Emma sitting on the floor and leaning against the couch base so the twins could have room to continue smothering me.

Christmas Day itself was its usual flurry of activity. We exchanged an abundance of presents with the usual assortment of DVDs, video games, books, and clothes.

The phone lines were jammed as our parents made various calls to friends and family to wish them Merry Christmas. All five of my sisters spent the morning with their ears glued to their cell phones. I'm surprised the local tower didn't overload.

I called Dawn and we spent over an hour catching up. You wouldn't have thought much could happen in the six days since we'd last seen each other, but there was quite a bit. I told her about what happened to Eden and she told me about what happened with Ryan when he came out of the bathroom with Robin. The guy wasn't sure whether to feel happy that we hadn't gone through with it or worried because he STILL didn't know how he'd feel if we ever did. There wasn't much Dawn could do to reassure him that we never would as long as they were together. In the end, we reminded each other of our love and promised to meet up ASAP upon our return to campus in January.

Megan Kwan and Cassidy O'Leary then called me to say Merry Christmas. Megan was still with Kaito and Cassidy had recently found someone she thought was pretty special. Daniel Chen called to ask if I wanted to meet up for basketball, but I explained that we were taking a ski vacation over New Year's this year.

After lunch, Keira McNeil, soon to be Keira Fitzpatrick, came by to introduce baby Colin. He was only a month old and slept for the entire visit. And she didn't stay much longer than the time needed to give us the invites to her March wedding.

Then it was time for the big family dinner. Brandi and Adrienne spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen with Mom. The rest of us set the table and vegged out in front of the TV. And we spent a good two hours talking and eating and drinking the night away.

My last Christmas present came to me just before bedtime.

I heard a light knock at my door and turned around. I had just gotten back into my bedroom after taking a shower and doing my nightly routine of getting dressed and settling into bed. I was shivering slightly under the still-cold sheets of my bed, not yet warmed up from my body's presence. And I had been about to switch off the light and put my head down when the knock stilled my hand. "Come in," I called.

"Hi, Ben," Brooke said softly as she came into view, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her torso. Her hair was slightly damp as she'd taken the shower after me, and I couldn't help but notice her nice curves packed into the white terrycloth. Now 17-years-old and maxed out at 5'7", my little sister was now a fully-formed young adult woman; and she had the mature poise and carriage to go along with her developed curves.

Still wearing the towel, she approached the bed and then raised the covers. I arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything, merely rolling over to the side while Brooke dropped the towel to the floor and then slid in beside me.

My body heat had warmed the middle of the bed. Fully naked and shivering, my sister pushed me over and moved herself to the warm spot. That left me shivering myself, now trying to warm the furthest edge. She turned onto her side and lay her head down on my pillow, inviting me to do the same while facing toward her. And then she reached out to take my hand and bring it up to her bosom, gently placing my palm against the bare skin of her left breast. When I squeezed reflexively, she sighed and smiled happily. "Hi, Ben," she said again.

I smiled and replied, "Hi, Brooke. How are you?"

"Better now." Her hand slid down to the front of my pajama pants, fingers tracing and then gripping the bulge she found there. My little sister had been visiting me naked at various times since I was a Junior in High School, and she'd never failed to arouse me, even if she hadn't always been able to get through to me.

Eventually, she dug inside the waistband of my pants and grasped my erection with her bare hand. And with my hand still cupping her boob, Brooke smiled at me and said, "Let's talk."

I arched an eyebrow. "Like this?"

She just nodded. "Feels ... intimate ... this way."

I nodded and said, "Hang on a second." I then took the time to wriggle out of my own clothes, shoving my shirt, shorts, and pajama pants further under the covers where they'd hopefully stay a little warm for when I wanted to put them back on. But now I was naked and resumed holding Brooke's C-cup breast while she wrapped her fingers around my cock. "So what's up?"

She sighed. "I miss him."

"Kenta?" I raised my eyebrows. It had been a rough semester for Brooke. Her grades were fine and unlike DJ, she seemed to have an easy track into Berkeley. Our family was just too smart to let our grades slip or our test scores drop. But it was still a stressful time for a college-bound Senior and Brooke's inability to fully trust her boyfriend had led to their breakup back in November. The fact that Kenta had immediately become Jennifer Vo's boyfriend only made things even worse.

Unfortunately, I'd been dealing with my own turmoils at the time with DJ, and the upshot was that none of us — DJ, Brooke, or me — was in any shape to really support the other two.

Brooke just sighed and nodded. "Of course Kenta."

"I know how you feel. I've been through a breakup or two in my time."

"I just thought we'd last forever, you know?" Brooke complained.

I sighed, thinking of Dawn ... and thinking of Adrienne. And now here I was, with no one to call my own. "I know what you mean."

"What happened to us?" Brooke asked quietly, her eyes sad. "Christmas is supposed to be the happiest day of the year. But getting presents just doesn't cut it anymore."

"We're getting older."

Brooke sighed. "No amount of books I wanted or spectacular clothes Adrienne finds for me will make up for me feeling so ... lonely..."

"There are other guys, right?"

"There're a couple hanging around," Brooke nodded. "I haven't slept with any of them — I'm not a slut — and life is more than sex, you know?"

I snorted. "You don't have to tell me."

"I wish Andrew didn't freaking live in Oregon."

"I wish I even HAD an Andrew to look forward to."

Now Brooke arched an eyebrow at me. "There are other girls, right?"

"More than a couple," I blushed. "I AM a slut."

"Yeah, well you can get away with it," Brooke sighed. "Do they make you happy?"

"For a little while. Always. Probably why I keep doing it."

"Would you trade them all to have Dawn back?" Brooke looked seriously into my eyes.

Without hesitation I answered, "Absolutely."

Brooke leaned in and pecked my lips softly. I felt the warmth and comfort of her touch, and a little sigh of contentment spread through me for a brief moment before fading away like the heat evaporating into December air.

"Remember how that felt," Brooke urged me softly. "Doing that with Dawn would feel a million times better, wouldn't it?"

I closed my eyes and felt a bit of moisture in my own eyes. The answer was 'yes', but I shoved that aside. "Doesn't matter. Dawn and I aren't getting back together. She's got a boyfriend and we're just friends."

"That doesn't matter. I know the way you feel about her and I know the way I feel about Kenta. I love you, Ben, but doing that with Kenta would feel a million times better for me," she intoned. And then she took a deep breath. "Remember this moment. Remember how lonely this feels without her. Because when you and Dawn get back together, you'll need to know how it felt to say 'Absolutely' when I asked you if you'd give up all those other girls for her. You'll need to remember how empty you feel when the simplest of kisses from her can turn your world to sunshine from gloomy gray."

Blinking, I opened my eyes again and stared straight at my sister. "Why are you telling me this?"

Brooke sighed. "Because Kenta's my soulmate, too. And I hope, I really really hope, that someone out there can tell him exactly what I told you. So the next time he and I are together, he'll remember how important this is."

I didn't hesitate. I squeezed her breast with one hand and held her cheek with my other. I brought my head forward and pressed my lips to hers in a sweet kiss while rolling in and throwing a leg over hers. Our bodies ground together and I felt the heat building between us as our skin rubbed against skin. Our ankles hooked around each other. My cock ground against her belly. And her breasts pressed tightly against my chest. Brooke moaned and after a bit more rolling around, I found myself on top of her with my legs straddling either side of hers, my balls more or less draped directly over her crotch.

I pulled my face away. "I need to understand first. If Kenta is your soulmate, why did you break up with him?"

Brooke smiled and touched my face. "The same reason you and Dawn aren't back together yet. I'm waiting for him to grow up."

"What?"

"We learn from our mistakes, right? Kenta's not the man I want him to be just yet. He lets his hormones do the thinking for him way too much. And he's too easily distracted by a nice pair of tits. That will always be a part of him, and I'm fine with that. He's got a great heart and I know deep down he loves me. Once he learns to better control his impulses, he'll be a much better man for it."

"So ... you're just going to wait?" I looked at her incredulously.

"We're seventeen. We're just kids. We're still in High School. He needs to try new things, and fail at some things, and learn from them. He needs to live his life and find his own identity. And when we're both ready, I know we'll find each other again."

"How can you know this?"

"I've seen it. In the future."

"Brooke, that's crazy."

"I'm serious."

I looked into my sister's eyes quite intently. "Brooke, are you on drugs?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Don't be silly. Besides, this whole same thing is going on with you and Dawn."

I sighed. "Even if your crackpot theory works, Dawn and I are different. She's my best friend. We see each other almost every day. Where's Kenta going to school?"

"Cornell. Like Mizu."

"That's on the other freaking side of the country!"

"I know. He and I will find each other again."

"Brooke, you're insane."

She grinned. "I know. Don't you love me?"

There was a look of such irrepressible hope on Brooke's face that I couldn't help but smile and pull her head to the crook of my neck, holding her tightly. "Yes, I love you. I'll always love you."

"Mmm..." She hummed happily. "I know."

We hugged each other, just enjoying the feel of each other's body and warmth for a long while. But eventually, I started thinking again of all the things Brooke had just said. It all sounded too pat, too theoretically structured. Life didn't really work that way. I sighed. "You really think Dawn and I are going to get back together?"

"Mmm-hmm. You belong together. Everyone's always known it, including Dawn." Brooke smiled. "And including you."

I exhaled. "I don't know about that. I'm serious. We love each other, but I think we've worked this thing out being best friends. And she really does love Ryan. I KNOW it."

"Ryan's good to her. Of course she loves him. But that doesn't mean she believes in her heart that she's destined to be with him, unlike you."

"So she's just waiting for me to grow up?"

"Uh-huh." Brooke was getting distracted now, leaving butterfly kisses all along my chest as she slid deeper beneath the covers. Her left hand found my cock again, stroking it gently.

"Have you actually TALKED to her about this?"

"Nuh-uh."

"So it's all in your head."

"Uh-huh."

"Great..." I groaned.

"Don't worry too much about it, big brother. I'm never wrong about this sort of thing."

"You thought you and Kenta would be together forever."

"We will be; just not yet. I told you, I can see the future."

"Brooke, you couldn't even see that you and Kenta were going to break up!"

She shook her head and nibbled on my nipple. "Doesn't matter. I saw me and him getting married." She sighed. "I'm sad right now and I miss him right now. But I know we'll get back together eventually. I just have to be patient and wait for him to become the man I marry."

"Fine. You told me at camp that you could only see YOUR future, though. So how would you know if Dawn and I get back together?"

Brooke grinned. "Simple. You once asked me to tell you who YOU were with at my wedding. I can see it now. You're sitting with Dawn."

I sighed and lay my head back. I didn't believe a word Brooke was saying. Seeing the future? Just waiting around for a boy to grow up and magically become the man you want him to be? It all sounded like the fantasies of a young girl. Heck, Brooke had still had an imaginary best friend until she was twelve, spending four years with a figment of her imagination after she'd been separated from DJ.

But I had to admit, it would be nice to believe in Brooke's imagination. I could almost see it myself: Dawn and I holding hands together and looking adoringly into each other's eyes at Brooke's wedding, already planning our own. And then after all the festivities and partying and celebration of life and love and marriage, Dawn would be keyed up and horny and desperate to crawl inside my tuxedo. We might even sneak into the coatroom during the reception and Dawn would pull down my pants and-

"My, my... Someone's thinking naughty thoughts," Brooke grinned from underneath the covers. Only now did I realize she had slid so far that her face was right in front of my crotch. And as she held me in her hands, my little sister leaned forward and sucked my prick into her mouth.

"Ohhh ... Brooke..." I groaned while my little sister began expertly fellating me.

"Just relax tonight, big brother. Tonight, let me take care of you."

She took care of me alright. I lay my head back on the pillow and just enjoyed the pleasant sensations of a warm, wet mouth making love to my dick. She blew me with tenderness and obvious love. And I admit I got quite a thrill out of looking down to see her looking right back at me, my cock denting out her cheeks from the inside as she turned her face left and right.

I tried to pull her around so we could sixty-nine and I could return the favor, but Brooke stubbornly stayed in her spot, cocooned deeply beneath the covers. I then tried to pull her up so she could mount me, but again she kept her mouth locked around my prick. A minute later I spunked my load down her throat. And she swallowed every drop while looking adoringly into my eyes.

I was tired then, but not totally wiped out. Brooke sucked me hard again before mounting me, putting her hands on my chest and riding me slowly. I started to move my hands around to give her pleasure as well, but she took my hands in hers, put them over her breasts and held them there, letting me squeeze her tits but not do anything else. "Let me take care of you," she repeated sweetly.

I let her take care of me, let her do all the work. Despite having been apart for most of the past year and a half, Brooke still knew exactly how to get me off and she was getting very good at working her inner muscles independently of the rest of her body. And even though she was focused on me, she still managed to get a quiet orgasm of her own.

Twenty minutes later, I surrendered to the final urges of bliss and Brooke let me roll us over so that I was on top, pounding away at her with the last vestiges of my energy. My dick rutted in and out of her tight pussy, rapidly sending the both of us spiraling toward ecstasy. And at last, I spurted my relief into my little sister's forbidden, incestuous place.

Brooke cooed into my ear and stroked my back while I filled her up. Almost immediately after, I felt the inky blackness around my vision as I fell asleep on top of her. And when I awoke the next morning, she ... and the towel ... were both gone.

On the 26th, the twins' fourteenth birthday went off without a hitch. It was interesting to me to see the new collection of friends they had each year. There was always some turnover with a few people drifting apart and others coming in. To my consternation, there were now a few boys in attendance, where their birthday parties from 10 to 13 had been entirely female.

I also found myself marveling at how young all those Freshman girls looked to me. Back when I was a Freshman myself, they obviously didn't look TOO young. Even when I was a Senior, the Freshman girls looked cute with nice titties and tight asses. But now, this close to my own 20th birthday, the young 14-year-olds with coltish bodies and underdeveloped curves just looked ... like jailbait.

I was getting older, and my sense of attractiveness was growing up with me. And as I realized how young, innocent, and vulnerable the twins' friends looked, I felt guilty over the sexual activities I'd already gotten into with the twins themselves, who were probably the youngest in their class given the school's January 1 grade cutoff. Banging Sophomores when I was a Senior was one thing, but Eden, Emma, and their friends were in a completely different age bracket.

Fortunately, I guess, the twins had not approached me at all this winter for further sexual practice. Definitely no blowjobs or oral sex encounters. Not even any kissing sessions. The scare with Dexter Walker had put the brakes on the twins' sexual development and for the moment, they seemed content to just enjoy themselves in other ways. The novelty had worn off. Their curiosity had been sated. And it seemed that we just might be able to get back to a platonic sibling relationship based solely on love. For the first time, I truly believed the twins would actually wait for sex until they turned 15.

The next morning, the family drove up to Big Bear for our ski trip. With fully eight moderately grown-up people, plus all of our associated luggage, we simply weren't going to fit in our van. We'd lucked out on long-distance trips so far in that at least one of the "kids" was always elsewhere. But whenever we needed to go out as a family of 8 around town, we took two cars, and this trip was no exception. The Mustang was fitted for chains and Adrienne, Brooke, and I drove up on our own. Brandi decided to sleep on the back bench seat of the van. And for the first time in their young lives, the twins got to sit in the two bucket seats for a big family vacation.

Unlike our last trip, we were planning a much longer vacation this time, staying for a full week until January 2nd. As such, there was no rush to hit the slopes; we probably couldn't handle more than 3 days anyways. Besides, it was a Saturday and the place would be busier than ever. Instead, we spent the first day just settling in and cooking dinner. We'd rented a house for the week, complete with kitchen and three bedrooms. And to my everlasting surprise, I found I wasn't sleeping on the couch.

Mom and Dad obviously took the master bedroom. Brandi and Adrienne would be in the second room together — they'd been sharing a room at home, anyways. And the twins would share the hide-a-bed. But Brooke and I were actually allowed to share the third room.

By now, Mom and Dad realized that the twins were perfectly aware of the sexual activities in the family. So hiding things from them was no longer an issue and at fourteen, Mom deemed them mature enough to handle the situation. Still, Mom cautioned everyone that this wasn't our home and the walls weren't nearly as solid, so we needed to respect our parents and keep things discreet. But Brooke and I were still allowed to share a room and a bed together.

That first night, Brooke and I took advantage of the opportunity. My lonely, boyfriend-less little sister was certainly eager for brother-cock, and I think we kept the volume down enough. Mom and Dad certainly didn't complain in the morning. But the twins WERE giving the both of us some knowing looks.

The second night, Adrienne talked Brooke into switching rooms after Mom and Dad went to sleep. I amused myself amongst the lush abundance of Adrienne's titflesh. And from the muffled sounds coming through the wall, Brooke and Brandi weren't idle, either.

And the third night, Adrienne and Brooke said 'fuck it' and they both came into the room with me. The things the three of us did together would blow your mind, starting with a gymnastic sort of arrangement where...

... Well, I'm getting ahead of myself.

That's because the ski trip week was not so significant because of what I was doing with Adrienne and Brooke, but because of what happened with me and Brandi.

We hit the slopes at Snow Summit as a family on Sunday morning, renting our gear, getting some discount on bundled, multi-day lift tickets for eight people, and then heading up the mountain.

At first, all eight of us stayed together, warming up on the bunny slopes. Unlike the last time I'd been snowboarding, I didn't have an erection in the way. Brooke had taken care of that when I woke up.

After spending the morning hanging out together and bonding, we then headed into the lodge for lunch. Finding a table for eight wasn't easy, but we managed it, and Mom and Dad left to go buy food for the lot of us. We six kids then hung around chatting, and I came to a surprising realization: we were ALL of us single.

Brandi and Matt, DJ and I, Grace and Adrienne, and Brooke and Kenta had all broken up in the past few months. Add in the twins who had yet to have serious boyfriends, and collectively we were striking out on the dating front. November and December had just been BRUTAL to all of us. There were no more loved ones waiting for us to come back home. No more hushed calls goodnight to tell them we missed them. We were on vacation, and we were all free.

Now there's something different about the way a single girl carries herself from one in a relationship. Yeah, even girls in relationships are often flirty, but there's a completely different way a single girl looks at potential partners when she's truly available. If a cute guy makes eye contact, maybe she returns the look. Maybe she throws in a smile. It's subconscious and instinctive. Most girls want to flirt; only their sense of loyalty to a boyfriend (or girlfriend) holds them back. And none of my sisters had such a sense of loyalty anymore.

The upshot is that the guys around the dining area couldn't help but notice the five beautiful young women surrounding me. My obvious family resemblance to every sister except Adrienne neutered me as a threat. And after a few seconds, I noticed that all five of the girls around me would occasionally drift out of the conversation when they made eye contact with someone who attracted their fancy.

Brandi was subtly making eye contact with a ruggedly handsome guy in his early 20s with a scruffy but hunky look about him. Brooke was coyly looking at and then away from a pack of college-aged guys who seemed to be on a ski trip vacation together. The twins were giggling together and making faces at some High School boy traveling with his family. And even Adrienne was looking with bright eyes at a slightly butch-looking chick with short, spiky bottle-blonde hair and a pierced eyebrow.

That's when I realized that there were a couple of girls nearby looking at ME, too.

Now a lot of this was innocent glancing. In the vast majority of cases, the lookers on both sides would think 'Oh, they're cute' and then never do anything about it. They would return to the slopes with their companions and probably never be seen again. And at least on this day, absolutely nothing happened.

This day.

Mom and Dad returned with chili cheese fries and chicken tenders and pizza and the like. We'd all burned quite a few calories snowboarding or skiing and dug in heartily. For now, the girls' attention was on the food, not the cute guys around them. And when we finally finished up, we left the lodge and picked up our snow gear without incident.

Now that we'd gotten in the first batch of bunny runs, we older kids wanted to split off and attack some harder runs. And by 'we', I mean Brandi, Brooke, and me. Mom, Dad, Adrienne, and the twins would also move onto some intermediates, but for the most part they all wanted to stick around the bunnies. The twins just weren't old enough or experienced enough to go down a black diamond, and Adrienne was still way behind us in terms of outdoorsy-activities.

I didn't know it yet, but if Brooke wasn't coming along with us, Brandi wouldn't have split off from the family. For whatever reasons, she didn't want to be alone with me. And I started to get a sense of this as the afternoon wore on.

My first clue was when the three of us lined up for Lift 10, a triple-seater ski lift. Since Brandi was on skis and Brooke snowboarded goofy, it just made sense for Brooke to sit on the left and me to sit on the right with Brandi in the middle so that (A) our snowboards wouldn't get in the way while we were sitting on the lift and (B) we could peel out in different directions and minimize the risk of anyone bumping into each other.

But as we approached the front of the chairlift line, Brandi asked Brooke to switch places with her. Brooke was confused, thinking we'd already agreed on an order. But Brandi insisted without explaining why. Shrugging, Brooke just switched and we managed to make it up the lift without incident.

It wasn't until the third run that I realized that Brandi was barely talking to me. At the top of the hill, or the bottom, or on the lifts, she never initiated a conversation with me and only really responded when I asked her a direct question. In group conversations, she would chat comfortably with Brooke, but I got the distinct impression I was always around the periphery of those discussions instead of a part of them.

Then there was the time Brandi wiped out and I came to a stop beside her, just to help her up. Brooke, being a reckless little sister, had similarly wiped out many times already and gladly taken my hand when she needed the assistance. But Brandi wouldn't let me help her up and even snatched away the ski pole when I retrieved it for her. From what I could tell, she would have hobbled up the mountain by herself if she'd actually lost a ski, rather than let me go get it for her.

"Brandi, what's going on?" I finally asked.

"Nothing," she snapped back at me. "I'm fine." She hurriedly buckled herself back up and took off without another word.

By the fifth run, even Brooke realized that Brandi was giving me the cold shoulder. There was another time when I ended up far past them and pulled over to the side, kneeling with my snowboard still attached while looking uphill to my sisters. The two of them stayed in a little conversation for a couple of minutes after Brooke had wiped out again and Brandi had come to her rescue. But when we all made it to the bottom, I wasn't about to ask what was going on with Brandi around.

And then it was time to rendezvous with the others. I wouldn't get a chance to talk privately with either sister until after we got back to the rental house.

As I figured, it was far easier to get a moment alone with Brooke. Brandi was keeping herself around the others in our family and I wasn't yet weirded out to the point of going up to Brandi point blank and asking her to speak with me alone. To start something like that would just feel too confrontational and I didn't want to put her on the defensive like that.

Thankfully, Brooke sensed that I wanted to talk about what had been going on that afternoon and just with eye contact and a couple of head nods, she followed me into our bedroom. "What's up?" she asked.

"Brandi."

"Figured," Brooke sighed.

"What's going on? She wasn't totally ignoring me, but she was going out of her way to minimize how much contact we had, wasn't she?"

Brooke nodded. "Seemed like that to me, too. I don't know what's going on. When I asked, she just said it had something to do with the way her and Matt broke up."

"Ah, hell," I groaned and face-palmed.

Brooke's eyebrows shot up. "Wait. What happened?"

"She didn't tell you?"

Brooke shook her head. I wasn't completely surprised. Brandi was close enough to Brooke as a sister, but the two had never bonded the same way I had with each of them. Besides, as the oldest kid, Brandi had spent most of her life not sharing things with her younger siblings, and it wasn't uncommon for us not to know the details of her life. Brandi always wanted to know what was going on in MY life, but she kept her own emotions pretty close to the vest.

I sighed and looked at Brooke seriously. "Matt caught us fucking."

Brooke winced and read the look in my eyes. "I'm assuming he didn't take it very well."

I shook my head and exhaled slowly, wincing myself. "He was disgusted by the incest. They did eventually get back together, but part of the deal was that Brandi have no more intimate contact with me."

"Ouch." Brooke winced harder. "I don't know that I could've done that. I love you too much."

"Brandi does too. But we just concentrated on loving each other as brother and sister more platonically. It was fine."

"Well that explains why she hasn't jumped you yet. I kept trying to give her a turn the whole past week. Never realized why she wasn't making any moves," Brooke sighed. She frowned for a second and then her eyes lit up with a new realization. "But then she and Matt broke up, right? So the old restriction doesn't apply anymore!"

I exhaled and looked apologetic. "I met a girl about a week ago, back at school, and we ended up screwing. Turns out she was Matt's baby sister. His whole family was on the mainland to go to Vegas for Christmas and she just tagged along to our house party."

Brooke's eyebrows shot up. "You didn't know who she was?"

I shook my head in the negative. "Matt caught us in my bed in the morning. First, I fucked his girlfriend. Then, I fucked his sister. He dumped Brandi by text message a few hours later. And the thing is: he could never look at Brandi the same way again after catching her with me back in October, period. It wasn't just cheating. He never got over the incest part, and they never had a real chance at staying together after that."

"Cheating, incest, defiling his baby sister." Brooke sighed. "So Brandi blames you for ruining her relationship with her boyfriend, in multiple ways."

I nodded. "I thought we'd be okay after that first night when Brandi revealed that she'd been molested. She seemed to accept me back; but I guess not."

Brooke sighed. "You've got to talk to her, Ben."

"How? I don't think it would be productive to drag her into a bedroom and demand she explain herself. She's hurting, she's mad at me, and I'm not sure it's my place to talk to her until she's ready."

Brooke sighed. "Maybe. But for now, I'll talk to Adrienne and we'll see if we can't work on her, okay?"

"Thanks, Brooke. I owe you one."

"No, you don't. I'm your sister and you're my brother. This is what we do."

I smiled, still amazed at how much my little sister had grown up.

Monday was much like Sunday, except for the snowboarding part. We skipped the mountain in favor of finding a nice snow park to build ramps and go sledding. Brooke and I conspired to create a massive toboggan course that stretched for a hundred yards and lasted for some thirty seconds. We built an initial framework and then spent the next several hours refining it by trial and error, figuring out we needed to thicken that turn or build that ramp higher or whatever. The twins were our eager crash test dummies and by the end, even Mom and Dad took a few runs down the course.

We also got into a massive snowball fight. Unbeknownst to me and Brooke, Adrienne and Brandi had been stockpiling snowballs for over an hour in preparation for their assault. The two elder girls caught us unawares and undefended, bringing with them armloads of pre-packed balls while Brooke and I had to create more on the fly.

Fortunately for us, I managed to outsmart the girls by dodging around until Brooke and I made it to the elder girls' stockpile. Then we used THEIR snowballs against them to get the upper hand.

But while I may have tactically outmaneuvered my two sisters, they politically outmaneuvered me. Brandi and Adrienne recruited not only the twins, but also our parents to join them. And stockpile or no stockpile, Brooke and I were dead meat with six-to-two odds.

In the end, there were hugs all around. And when Brandi hugged me, I felt her old warmth and happiness as we congratulated each other on a fight well-played. It felt good. It felt comfortable. And I sighed in relief.

But a second later, I actually felt her withdrawing away from me, even though her arms were still wrapped around my torso. And sadness filled my heart when she pulled back, turned, and moved away.

Something was going to have to change, and soon.

We returned to the slopes on Tuesday. I didn't have to worry about snowboarding with an erection because the previous night had been the night both Adrienne and Brooke stayed in my bedroom and fucked my brains out. It turned out to be one of those mornings where I couldn't even summon a morning wood because they'd worn me out so well.

As a group, the eight of us warmed up on the bunny slopes in the morning. But around 10am, Brooke was getting antsy and said she wanted to go on the harder runs. I voiced my agreement and moved off to join her. Then Brooke stopped and looked over at Brandi. "You coming?"

There was a moment's hesitation when Brandi looked at me before she nodded and split apart from the others. At least she wanted to ski the black diamonds more than she wanted to keep her distance from me. We all said our goodbyes, and Mom told us to rendezvous at noon at the main lodge.

All eight of us had gone up Lift 2, the All-Mountain Xpress quad. We three siblings left our family to go down the Summit Run while we headed east toward the harder runs, eventually making it down to the base of Lift 1, the East Mountain Xpress. It was another high-speed quad lift and would take us directly to the top of our higher-difficulty runs, and we formed into our three-person order with Brandi on the left, Brooke in the middle, and me on the right.

But just as we were approaching the front of the line, Brooke bent over and complained that she'd gotten a cramp. Brandi was the first to wonder, "What, now?"

"Yeah ... ugh..." Brooke moaned. "I'm gonna sit this one out. Why don't you two go up first? Meet me back right here and I'll see if I'm feeling better."

Brooke wasn't much of an actress, but for the moment, Brandi bought it. "Uh, okay. See you soon."

Brooke stepped out of her snowboard and then hobbled out of the line, leaving Brandi and me to jump onto the next chair by ourselves. And for the next six minutes or so on the lift, plus the run back down, it was just me and my big sister.

"Kinda strange, Brooke getting a cramp like that well after we finished the run," Brandi wondered aloud.

"Hey, you've never seriously snowboarded. It's not easy standing on these things. Skis are much more natural."

"Maybe..." Brandi trailed off and looked away.

I decided to just take the opportunity presented itself and commented, "Hey, you initiated a conversation with me!"

Brandi whipped her head around, a protest on her lips, but she frowned a second later and said, "I wasn't TRYING not to start conversations with you."

"Sure you were." I shrugged. "You've been semi-avoiding me ever since we got home from Berkeley."

"I have NOT been avoiding you!"

"I said semi-avoiding me." I took a deep breath. "You're still mad at me. I get it."

Brandi exhaled slowly, deflating along with the rush of air. And in a tired voice, she mumbled, "Ben, I'm not mad at you."

"Then why the avoidance?"

"I-." Brandi cut herself off and looked away. I knew better than to press and just waited her out. But I could feel myself tensing up, knowing we only had so long before the chairlift dumped us and I lost this opportunity. Chairlift pole after chairlift pole passed us by, and with each one I got a little more antsy.

Fortunately, Brandi came back and said, "I'm not mad at you. It's not really your fault that Matt and I broke up."

I arched an eyebrow. "Uh, I think it is."

"Really, it's not."

"I slept with his sister," I pointed out.

Brandi snorted. "So did he, if you think about it."

I blinked twice and then shrugged at the realization.

Brandi sighed. "You sleeping with Meli was just the last pebble on top of a mountain of other problems. I told you I didn't think Matt and I would last through the winter. I didn't think he'd break up with me by text; but we both knew things were coming to an end."

I felt badly again. "But things were never the same after you got back together, and that first break-up was certainly my fault."

For a second, my sister looked at me with sharper eyes as the old anger resurfaced. But a second later it melted away and she reached over and held my snowglove-covered hand with her own. "How could it be your fault? I'm the one who brought you into my room for sex. I'm the one who asked you to fuck me in the ass."

I grimaced and thought of how to respond. But before I did, Brandi continued. "I won't apologize for what we did together," she stated emphatically. "I love you and physically making love was a part of our relationship. I knew what I was doing. And it's not your fault Matt caught us. It just happened."

I smiled weakly at her proclamation.

Brandi sighed. "If I'd hated you for it, I never would have started fucking you again AFTER we'd gotten caught." She took a breath and looked like she was going to continue, but cut herself off and looked away.

I waited a few seconds before venturing, "I sense a 'but' coming..."

Brandi took a deep breath and glanced at me before looking away again. "I don't think what we did is evil or immoral. It made us both happy and we were both mature enough to understand what we were getting into."

I didn't like the way she was using the past tense.

"But..." Brandi sighed. "I look at my future and as much as I love the physical element of our relationship, I just have to think it's in my best interest to stop. I can't go through this again. I won't apologize for what we did the in the past. But I don't think I can go back to the way things were. It's not fair that the world will judge us — judge ME — by what we do together, but that's the reality we're in. And as much as I love you, I don't want to deal with the judgment anymore. WE can't have that kind of relationship anymore. I'm sorry."

We'd reached the end of the lift and Brandi turned forward and inched her butt up in preparation for landing. And then our conversation was over.

I did manage to continue the conversation one time, when Brandi had wiped out in the treeline getting back towards the Miracle Mile. I scooted up to help her, and this time she let me get her set back up.

"Can you at least stop avoiding me?" I asked.

Brandi blushed and nodded. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't trying to avoid you. But I think I WAS trying to distance myself from you. It's like I wanted to avoid any kind of intimacy with you, even if it wasn't really sexual. Guess I went a little overboard."

"Brandi, I told you before that I could handle a more platonic relationship. We really don't have to have sex to show that we love each other. But this wall you've put between us has really bothered me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll work on it. But you've got to give me some time and space to figure myself out, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded. Then I waited a second before asking, "Can I hug you now?"

Brandi giggled and nodded her head. I shuffled over and wrapped her up in a warm embrace. It felt sooo good to hold my big sister again after the pain and awkwardness we'd gone through, and I clutched her a little tighter while nuzzling my nose into the crook of her neck.

"Get a room!" A male voice called from somewhere above us. We looked up and realized we weren't too far from the East Mountain Xpress line, and were just visible as the passengers soared overhead and maybe thirty-feet to our left.

Brandi almost violently jerked away from me, a shadow casting over her face. Quickly, she oriented her skis; and without another word, she sped away from me.

I sighed. "Ah, crap."

Lunch was once again at the main lodge. As with any ski resort, the majority of visitors come for a day or two and then return back to their homes and their lives. This means that the people you see one day will most likely NOT be around the next day, and especially not two days later. There are, however, exceptions to the rule. And as it turned out, one such exception was a ruggedly handsome guy in his early 20s with a scruffy but hunky look about him.

Brandi caught sight of him almost immediately, and I noticed when she subtly tilted her head downward and flashed her eyes up at him while smiling mysteriously. Tracking Brandi's gaze, I looked over to see that he was in the middle of a conversation with some other friends, a mixed group of guys and girls around the same age. And when he realized that Brandi was looking over at him, he abruptly dropped out of the conversation mid-sentence and stared right back.

Coyly, Brandi turned away and started talking to Adrienne. But I kept my eyes on scruffy-but-hunky and watched how one of his friends leaned in to say something. The guy blinked and said something back before looking over at Brandi again. And I saw a smile cross his face when he realized Brandi was demurely glancing at him once again as well.

This went back and forth for all of two minutes before the guy stood up with his friend, and the pair of them made their way across the room to our table. Conversation amongst my five sisters died down as the two ruggedly handsome guys approached and then we all looked up when they came to a stop in front of us.

"Hi," Rugged One said straight to Brandi. "I think I've seen you around here before. Like two days ago?"

Brandi blushed and smiled. "Yeah. My family and I are up here for the week," she replied while gesturing across the table at the rest of us. "I'm surprised you remembered me."

"Couldn't forget a face like that," he smiled charmingly. "I was looking for you yesterday, but never saw you."

"He was," Rugged Two added. "Made us sit in here for over an hour looking for you."

Brandi blushed, brushing a long lock of hair back behind her ear while looking down. She was wearing a cute beanie and a form-fitting jumpsuit, looking both cute and athletic at the same time. And as I watched the pleased smile spread across her face, I realized just how beautiful my sister was and could easily understand what had possessed this guy to hang around, hoping to find her again.

Still with that radiant smile, Brandi then scooted back and patted the seat next to her. "Sit down. What's your name?"

"I'm Jared," Rugged One smiled and offered his hand while swinging a leg over the bench seat. He was a well-built young Asian man with dark hair and a beard that looked only a few days old, giving him the scruffy look. But there was no missing the piercing intelligence of his dark eyes underneath a strong forehead. And he carried himself with poise instead of just stomping around.

"Miguel," Rugged Two waved while taking the next seat over. The tall, dark, and handsome guy looked across the table to smile charmingly at Adrienne. The gorgeous blonde smiled back but reached over and put her hand on top of mine possessively. Miguel took the hint and quickly returned his gaze back to Brandi.

The conversation flowed easily from there, dominated by Brandi and Jared with Miguel adding in a wisecrack or two to fill in the slightly awkward gaps. Adrienne and I participated peripherally, but we were more interested in watching. Brooke and the twins were happy to chat by themselves.

But soon enough, Mom and Dad returned laden down with food. I quickly got up to help them distribute it and the two new guys quickly realized they were sitting in our parents' seats.

"We should be getting back to our table," Jared said apologetically. "Will I see you around later?"

"Well," Brandi glanced over at our parents. "I don't think we're coming back here until Friday."

"Ooh. We're leaving on Thursday afternoon," Jared sighed and glanced over at Miguel. His friend opened his eyes wide and gave his buddy an encouraging look.

"But..." Jared continued, "We're having a New Year's Eve barbecue tomorrow night at this house we're renting nearby. If you're interested, we'd love for you to stop by." He finished by sweeping his hand across the table to include me and Adrienne.

"Maybe," Brandi smiled coyly and glanced at me.

Miguel nudged his friend, and Jared coughed before saying, "Why don't I give you my number."

"Sure, gimme your phone," Brandi said.

Jared's eyes went up and he pulled a slim silver flip-phone out of his pocket. Brandi plucked it out of his hands, dialed a number, and soon enough her own pocket was ringing. She closed the phone to hang it up and then handed it back to Jared. "Now I've got your number; and you've got mine." She smiled brilliantly.

"Great," Jared smiled, clearly smitten. "I, uh, hope I'll see you later."

"Bye."

The two guys left and then with a happy sigh, Brandi turned to look back at the rest of us. She met nothing but arched eyebrows, including from our parents.

"What?"

"You should go," Adrienne urged. "Ben will chaperone you to make sure nothing bad happens. Won't you, Ben?"

I was walking behind the two girls as we cruised the streets of Big Bear Lake, which was actually the name of the town as well as the lake itself. This Wednesday was a tourist day, shopping for trinkets and just admiring the beauty of the outdoors. The water was such a deep blue. The pine tree forest was a scintillating green. But despite the picturesque setting, I could feel my mood turning serious as I thought of Brandi helpless amongst a big group of strangers. If Brandi was going out, I was going to make DAMN sure nothing bad happened to her. So I looked up and nodded my agreement. "I'll be there."

"I don't know," Brandi sighed. "You KNOW Mom and Dad want me here for New Year's Eve."

"So come back by 11. You'll have plenty of time to go and flirt and have fun, and then spend the important hour counting down to the ball drop."

"But what's the point? I'll never see him again."

"So?" Adrienne grinned. "It's just an evening. You're hurting after a bad breakup and you need something like this just to break free a bit. The fact that you'll never see the guy again makes this perfect."

Brandi exhaled and dug her hands a little deeper into her winter coat. She stopped and looked at Adrienne and then back at me, her chin dipping into the black and red scarf around her neck as if she was trying to hide beneath it and the black cap on her head. But then she stood up straight and asked, "You really think I should go?"

"Of course."

"You coming, too?"

Adrienne took a breath, looked at me, and then shook her head. "I'd rather not. This isn't my scene anymore and the last thing I want is a bunch of guys hitting on me. You'll be fine because Jared will call dibs."

"You can just stay with Ben. He makes for a good shield," Brandi argued.

Adrienne smiled at me. "I probably shouldn't. This way Ben might get some action, too."

I shook my head. "Nuh-uh. I'll be watching Brandi."

Brandi rolled her eyes at me. "Well I can't relax if you're watching me like a hawk. I'd be too self-conscious."

I stared at her seriously. "I am NOT letting anything bad happen to you." My mind flashed back to Drew Walker's party and what had happened to Brooke.

Brandi sighed. "I can take care of myself. I'll be fine as long as you're nearby, but please don't be staring at me the whole time."

"You'll have a great time!" Adrienne enthused, patting Brandi on the back. And then she turned to me with an odd gleam in her eye. "Relax, Ben. This isn't Drew Walker's place and Brandi isn't fifteen. It's okay."

My eyebrows went up as I realized Adrienne had figured out what I was thinking. "I'm still not going to get distracted."

Adrienne grinned. "Sure you won't."

"C'mon. Just one more dance!" Kenzie tugged on my hand and twirled back and forth excitedly. Dammit, why'd she have to be sooo hot? And so blonde? And have such pretty blue eyes? I was such a sucker for blue eyes.

Kenzie was a recent grad from USC who was now working as a production assistant at Fox Studios. She'd been friends with Jared and Miguel since their days together at college and had joined in when the old crew decided to rent a house and party for New Year's. That was pretty much all the information she told me. I figured out for myself that she had big tits, a bigger smile, and LOVED to both drink and dance.

I'd thought I wouldn't have any problems avoiding temptation at this party. After all, I didn't have the Big Ben reputation preceding me. And I knew Brandi wasn't going to go around pimping me to whatever girls were there.

But apparently I was better looking than I gave myself credit for. Eyes were on me and Brandi the minute we walked in, as this slightly older crowd immediately recognized that we weren't from their crew. And while Jared swept Brandi away almost as soon as we arrived, some of the girls in the group smelled fresh blood and immediately started hunting me.

At least I wasn't the only fresh blood being hunted. As groups of sixteen early- 20's friends tend to do, they'd picked up a few friends on the slopes during the past week and also invited them to tonight's party. So Brandi and I weren't the only strangers, and the house was packed with two dozen young folk ranging in age from 24 to my 19 years.

Whether I was trying to or not, apparently I showed enough charm for pretty blonde Kenzie to take an interest in me. She latched onto me pretty quickly even though I told her Brandi and I would have to go home to our family at 11 for the actual New Year's itself. At least for now she seemed more interested in having a willing dance partner than in a one-night stand. And I let myself be carried away by her enthusiasm.

At all times, though, I kept a corner of my eye on Brandi. Sure, my eyes strayed at little moments like when Kenzie pulled me to her and shoved my face into her cleavage during "Milkshake" by Kelis. But for the most part I was always aware of where she was and who was around her.

Brandi spent the entire evening with Jared. I watched them progressively go from standing apart to light touching to moving around the party with his arm around her waist. Actually, the only times they weren't touching each other were when they were eating the brats, burgers, and chicken that had been barbecued for dinner.

Jared cleaned up pretty well. He'd shaved off the unkempt stubble and styled his hair, now looking more recent-USC-grad than ski-bum. I didn't know if he and Brandi would keep in touch after tonight; but for now at least, the two were very clearly into each other.

"Hey..." Kenzie reached out to hold my face and turn it back to hers. "Remember me?"

I smiled at the pretty blonde. "Sorry."

"ReLAX. Jared's a nice guy," Kenzie assured me, as well as a perfect stranger could possibly assure me. "He won't do anything your sister doesn't want him to do."

"I want to believe you," I shrugged. "But my first priority is to make sure she's okay."

Kenzie gave me a little giggle and then with her hand still on my face, she leaned in and gave me a hot, wet, open-mouthed kiss. When she pulled back, I could still feel my toes tingling. "You're a sweet brother, but do you mind if I try to rearrange those priorities of yours?"

I blinked a couple of times. This girl could give Adrienne a run for her money in the nuclear department. "Wow."

Kenzie grinned. "Sounds like I'm on the right track. Now kiss me again and let's get dirrrty!"

Kenzie was quite persuasive, and the longer the night went on the less and less attention I was paying to Brandi. After all, Kenzie didn't mind me making sure we were always in the same room as my sister, which pretty much meant the living room. And as long as Brandi was in a public area, I couldn't worry TOO much.

Plus, Kenzie was proving to be very distracting. Her light blonde hair was half- up and half down, with tendrils falling across her graceful neck and drawing my attention to her bare shoulders. The shoulders were bare because while she wore some kind of brown knitted sweater over a white tank-top, she was constantly letting the sweater drift off her shoulders and partway down her arms. That led me to continue yo-yo'ing down to her prominent tits. And even when I was staring at her, she was stealing kisses more and more as well.

It was after one such mind-blowing kiss that I found myself sitting on the couch with a clearly aroused Kenzie straddling my lap and pushing those big tits into my chin. Her eyes flashed when she pulled away as she murmured, "Damn you're a good kisser. I'm soaking wet!"

I groaned beneath my breath and smiled proudly as she rubbed her crotch against the bulge in my pants. She was wearing a loose skirt, and with my hands on her asscheeks beneath it I could tell she had nothing but a skimpy thong separating me from her naked pussy.

The pretty blonde leaned down and whispered in my ear. "C'mon, stud. Let's go upstairs and find somewhere a little more private."

I groaned and nodded before catching myself. I'd lost track of the time and quickly I checked my watch. Thankfully, it was only 10:30pm. I still had a half- hour. Plenty of time for a quickie. But in fairness, I looked up into Kenzie's pretty eyes and said, "You know I still have to leave at 11."

She frowned but checked my watch and gave me a little smile. "That should still be enough time," she husked right into my ear.

I was smiling happily at the idea of getting laid when my brain finally caught up to me. I hadn't thought of or checked on Brandi in what felt like forever. Twenty minutes at least. And in a panic I sat up and swung my head around.

I couldn't find her.

Kenzie was rather unceremoniously dislodged from her spot when I stood up, although I did grab her and set her down while I darted my eyes left and right, sweeping the room and peering into the kitchen for any signs of either Brandi OR Jared.

But at the last second I saw her. Brandi was over by the stairs, giggling while Jared wrapped an arm around her and started leading her up the steps. My eyes went wide and for a second, I thought about shouting her name across the room. But not wanting to sound too panicked, instead I just started hustling across the room and squirming my way through the crowd.

Halfway across the room I realized I would be too late to catch her. I figured I'd rush up the stairs just to find that she'd already disappeared into a bedroom from where I had two choices: sit back and hope nothing bad happened, or start banging on doors screaming her name. The second option wouldn't be pretty, but I'd be DAMNED if I had to go through the torment I'd faced with Brooke a couple of years ago.

But just as I got to the stairs, I found Brandi standing there looking around for me. "Ben!"

"Brandi!"

I rushed up and hugged her fiercely, holding on like I never wanted to let her go. I was so relieved that I hadn't lost her yet.

"Whoa, whoa! You okay?" she asked in alarm.

"Sorry," I panted, slightly out of breath, and let go of her. "Thought I was too late."

She shook her head and touched my cheek. "No. I was just turning back to look for you. I know you've been keeping an eye on me most of the evening. Not like a hawk, but around. I have to admit it was reassuring."

I just nodded.

Brandi looked up the stairs to where Jared was waiting, and then she turned back to me. "I'm going to go now, Ben. I just wanted to tell you that I'll be alright."

I paled and bit my lip as I looked up the stairs as well. I pointed at my watch and Brandi nodded, "I know. There's time."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked hoarsely.

She canted her head to the side and smiled wanly. "Because I want to. I need this, okay?"

"A one-night stand with a guy you just met?"

"I want to get laid. Jared's a good guy." Brandi smiled and patted my arm.

"If you just want to get laid..." I began, letting my eyes finish the sentence. I would be happy to take care of it for her.

But Brandi shook her head. "Not anymore, little brother. I love you. I'll always love you. But not like that anymore, okay?"

I whimpered and bit my lip. She leaned in and gave me a chaste peck on the lips, just a sisterly kiss. And then she pulled back. "I'll be fine."

I stared straight at her. "I'll be waiting for you right here."

"You sure?" Brandi looked past my shoulder. "That Kenzie looks like she'd be happy to entertain you while I'm gone." The innuendo in her voice let me know what she meant by "entertain".

"I'll be right here," I said again firmly.

"Okay. I love you, Ben." She leaned in and pecked me again, turning away and starting up the stairs.

"I love you, too," I said loud enough so she could hear. Seven steps later, Jared took her arm and they disappeared. I knew I wouldn't start breathing normally until she came back.

"C'mon, spoilsport," Kenzie pleaded, practically humping herself against my left leg.

"Kenzie, I'm sorry. I promised her I'd be right here. And right here I'll be."

"Bennn..." she whined.

"I mean it."

"She won't be out for a while at least. Long enough for us to have our fun," she whimpered. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging now after everything we've already done tonight."

Kenzie's lips were inches from mine, but my mind was upstairs. What were Brandi and Jared doing right now? Was he peeling her clothes off and sucking on her upright nipples? Was she kneeling in front of him, giving him the blowjob of a lifetime? Or had she simply bent over and invited him to take her right then and there?

Hell, was he hurting her and I didn't know about it? I was having nightmares about Brandi mumbling, 'I want my brudder' despondently, even thought I was still awake.

"I need you, Ben. I need you," Kenzie pleaded in a husky voice.

And suddenly I moved.

Perhaps it was because Kenzie had stumbled upon that trigger word in me; I couldn't help myself whenever a girl told me she was in "need". Perhaps I was just annoyed by her persistence and wanted to shut her up. Perhaps I felt guilty for all the time she HAD put into me and felt she deserved something at least. So I moved.

And we moved. I'd promised Brandi I'd be at the base of the stairs and I didn't get very far away from there, only maybe ten feet. But I pulled Kenzie into a slightly out of the way corner next to a potted plant and tugged her against me with my left arm. I planted a fierce kiss on her lips and held her close, enough so that my right hand was blocked from the view of any potential observers. And before she realized what was happening, my right hand dipped beneath her loose skirt and then up and into her thong panties; and two fingers imbedded themselves in her juicing wet cunt.

"Oh, God," Kenzie moaned and slipped her lips off mine, tilting her head forward and over my shoulder.

I went to work quickly. I hadn't done this much while a girl was still fully clothed, but I was due for a new challenge anyways. My index and middle fingers were soon embedded to the last knuckles inside her soaked pussy, and my thumb quickly snaked through her wet furrow for lubrication before sliding up and over her clit. Fortunately, Kenzie had a prominent love button with easy access, and she was soon rhythmically humping my hand while I dug my teeth into her neck.

Pressed into this corner against the wall, I knew to any outside observer we would appear to just be necking. My right hand was completely hidden from view and my left was stroking up and down her back, rubbing mostly but also searching for her trigger spots.

It didn't take as long as I thought. Within a few seconds, Kenzie was whimpering on the approach to orgasm as my right hand plunged in and out of her sopping wet pussy. I remembered how Dayna was amazed at my ability to control my thumb independently from my thrusting fingers, and Kenzie was finding out this magical skill tonight, my thumb buzzing all over her clit. And when I judged the time to be right, I tripped her over the edge of climax.

My left hand pinched the back of her neck, sharp enough to make her jerk her head back in surprise. My fingers then trailed down her spine, tickling her all the way down to her lower back as she felt the tingling sensation run the full length from her neck to her waist. And then my left hand slipped beneath her skirt for a few seconds, long enough for me to pop my fingers inside the rear string of her thong panties and rub gently over her anus. All the while I had two fingers thrusting in and out of her pussy and my thumb on her clit. And in the coup de grâce, with her head thrown back I bit down gently on the side of her neck. This caused another spike of sensation while the rest of her body was still trying to figure out how to deal with the other feelings I'd provoked, and she squealed and came.

"MMPH!!!" Kenzie's moan was muffled when I clamped my mouth over hers. Her body went rigid and I pulled my left hand out to grip her waist and hold her against me. I could feel her trembling in my arms, and her jaw quivering through my lips. But after a few more seconds, she sagged against me and dropped her forehead onto my shoulder.

We were quiet and unmoving for a long time, maybe two minutes. The seconds ticked by while Kenzie panted breathlessly, her whole body rising and falling slowly against my chest. I held onto her, waiting for a good opportunity to extract myself. And only when she was able to stand on her own two feet did I finally pull my fingers out of her saturated pussy.

As if my fingers had been the only things holding her upright, her legs buckled and she nearly collapsed. I caught her and pulled her back up, holding her until she steadied herself. And then with a little smile on my face, I put my pussy juice- covered fingers to her lips, my eyes aflame as I watched her open up and suck my digits into her mouth.

When she was done, Kenzie looked at me with wide eyes and asked softly, "Why'd you do that? With the way you could do that to my body, I would have fucked your brains out all friggin' night!"

I looked at her seriously. There are things more important than sex, I thought to myself. And I verbalized, "I promised my sister I'd be right here."

Kenzie just stared at me for another few seconds, her eyes searching through mine. It was as if she didn't really believe me until right that second, and when she leaned back she was looking at me with a newfound respect. "You really love your sister, don't you?"

"I do."

She said in wonder, "Never had a family member care that much about me before."

"You've never met the rest of my family."

Kenzie nodded and then leaned in, kissing me gently on the lips. "Thanks, Ben."

"You're welcome." I nodded my head back to the rest of the party. "You should go. You still have time to find someone else before midnight."

She leaned into me one more time and patted my bulge. I was rock hard and we both knew it. "You sure?" she asked without any serious heat. She already knew my answer.

"Of course."

She pecked my cheek. "Bye, Ben. Hope I see you again someday."

I smiled. "Bye."

Kenzie turned and headed into the kitchen. I'll admit my ego hoped she would go find some girlfriends and brag about how I made her cum right there in the living room. Even if they were girls I'd never know nor likely see again, it couldn't hurt to be well thought of.

I just sighed and moved back to the base of the stairs. Sitting down on the second-to-last step, I exhaled and tried not to think of my throbbing erection and the willing pussy that had just walked away. It wasn't easy. I am a sexual creature after all.

But ten minutes later I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. And I looked up to see Brandi smiling at me.

Standing up, I turned and looked at her, making sure she looked happy and none the worse for wear. Without any questions, innuendoes, or comments of any kind, I let her wrap herself around my left arm. I gave her a warm smile and patted her hand, and then we left to hop in the Mustang and drive home..

82 The Butterfly and the Bee l

January 2004, Winter Break

Things settled into what felt like normal after the ski trip. Once safely home and with the parents gone to work during the weekdays, my sisters and I settled into our respective sexual relationships. Emboldened by Mom and Dad's letting us share a bedroom on the trip, Brooke was my most frequent and overt bed partner. She knew she only had me for a few weeks, and she intended to make the most of it. Still, we kept things discreet. We knew our parents wouldn't reprimand us for our activities, but neither did they want it in their face.

Adrienne was also a regular bed partner. But like the last semester at school, we didn't have sex every day. She actually spent most of her time visiting old friends like Candy, Heather, and Lynne, and only came to me once or twice a week to scratch that deep itch inside her.

Even the twins resumed some of their pursuit of me. We had kissing sessions every now and again. A couple of times I woke up in the morning with a 14-year- old's lips wrapped around my erection. Once, Brooke was in the bed with me; and when she woke up, she promptly leaned over and started giving the twins pointers.

And of course, Brandi and I developed our purely platonic relationship. We were still affectionate with hugs and even chaste pecks on the lips. But the sexual tension between us was gone, leaving just our mutual respect and loving support.

There was also one incident of note. The High Schoolers returned to classes before Brandi, Adrienne, and I did. While what happened didn't allow me any purely personal satisfaction, I was still quite happy with the outcome.

It seemed that Brooke and some of her Senior acolytes had taken it upon themselves to blacklist Dexter Walker for what he'd done to Eden the previous month. Word was already buzzing around campus about the Junior's attempted * of a Freshman cheerleader. And more fuel was added to the fire when a second girl accused him as well.

Brooke then took things a step further by taking a page from Adrienne's book and delivering the swift kick of vengeance to Dexter's balls. She even wore pointy heels that first day of class for just the occasion. Dexter would be out of commission for a couple of weeks at least. Brooke got suspended two days for fighting. And I got to have threesomes with my little sister and Adrienne for those two days.

It was all good...

JANUARY 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

Even though we'd just left our actual home some six hours earlier, it still felt like coming home as I pulled onto the cracked asphalt of the single-file driveway running next to the Berkeley house. I pulled up behind Dayna's 3-year-old Impala and Dawn's older Chevy and came to a stop, putting the car in park and turning off the engine. I then sagged back against the seat and exhaled, "I'll never get used to that drive."

"I offered to take over after lunch," Adrienne rubbed my shoulder. "Besides, technically it's still MY car."

"Technically?" I arched an eyebrow at her.

"Well you certainly drive it more than I do," she giggled. And then she popped open her door and folded down the seat, bending her 5'10" frame to crawl back and gently stir Brandi awake.

My big sister grimaced and grumbled but cracked open her eyes. "We're here?" she asked.

"We're here," Adrienne confirmed. Then she backed out and circled around to the trunk.

I had already popped it open and was pulling out suitcases. Then grabbing the two heaviest ones (Adrienne's and Brandi's, of course), I trundled around to the front of the house and up the steps onto the porch.

The door opened before I got to it and Dayna stepped out, quickly hopping up to me and giving me a welcoming hug. "Hey, Ben."

My hands were still on the suitcase handles so I didn't hug her back. I replied a quick, "Hey, Dayna" and then she was already past me on her way to the girls.

I left Brandi's suitcase at the base of the stairs and deposited Adrienne's just outside her bedroom door. I was then about to head back out for more luggage when a shock of blonde hair caught my attention in the corner of my eye. Dawn was standing in the doorway to my bedroom.

For some reason, she looked at me with an expression of surprise, as if she didn't recognize me. And rather than approach me immediately, she hung back in the doorway with that puzzled look, biting her lip nervously.

"Hey you," I began slowly and turned to face her.

"Hey," she replied hesitantly, her eyebrows furrowing.

"What's wrong?"

She blinked a few times and then shook her head, all of a sudden clearing away that momentary awkwardness. She smiled and stepped forward, opening her arms to me. I moved forward as well and we came together in the hallway, arms wrapped tightly around each other in the firmest, fiercest hug imaginable. I didn't know why, but I was squeezing her with almost all of my strength, and she accepted it hungrily and squeezed me back even harder.

"Gawd, I missed you," Dawn sighed and pushed her nose into the crook of my neck.

"It's only been four weeks."

"I know. But it feels like it's been forever. I felt like I didn't even recognize you when you walked in."

"Same old me."

Dawn leaned back, her hands still on my shoulders, peering into my eyes. "No. There's something a little different about you."

If there was, I didn't recognize it. "Maybe you need to get your eyes checked."

Dawn giggled and moved back into my arms. We hugged fiercely again, and Dawn exhaled happily. "Mmm ... Welcome back, Ben."

I sighed happily and smelled the familiar sweet scent of her hair. "It's good to be back."

It started off just like any other ordinary day. School had just started and we were getting into the daily grind of classes, homework, and studying. My social life seemed to pick up right where it had left off the previous semester. Dawn, Ryan, Gwen, Robin, Bert, and I would meet up at Dawn's and Ryan's apartment in the afternoons to hang out. Adrienne would come by when she didn't have a sorority event. And I got a few phone calls from Tri-Delts who wanted to know if I was looking for company.

Like I said, the Wednesday started off like an ordinary day. Dawn and I went to class. We even had Bert in our Macroeconomics course as well. And Professor Ice was teaching it again. At the end of the day we got together as a group for dinner. And then after dinner we launched into our homework for the night.

"Real GDP can be decomposed into four component parts," I read from the text. "What are they?"

"Aggregate expenditures on consumption, investment, government, and net exports," Dawn rattled off.

"Good. And the model that considers the relationship between these expenditures and current real national income is?"

Dawn had this one easily, responding, "Income-Expenditure."

"Right. And Keynesian theory..."

"Kayn-zian, not Keen-zian," Bert interrupted us from his spot on the couch. "You may be able to remember every damn thing you read, but that does shit for your pronunciation," he drawled.

"Whatever. It's spelled with an 'e'." I waved him off. "Besides, we're not taking oral exams."

"I've got your oral exam right here," Gwen smirked at me, her eyebrows waggling.

I sighed and looked around. "Can we focus on finishing this first? Sex can wait until later."

"Did BEN just say that?" Gwen sat up and looked over at Dawn. "You're right. He IS different."

I sighed and obviously ogled Gwen, who had stripped away her winter coat and was wearing just a skimpy tank-top inside the heated apartment. "I'll still fuck you within an inch of your life if you're interested ... AFTER I'm done with my homework."

"I'm down for right now if you want," Bert chirped to Gwen.

Robin reached out and smacked her boyfriend. "You're such a slut."

Bert just grinned at Gwen, making suggestive looks with his eyebrows before Robin sighed and smacked her boyfriend again. This time there was a little more heat in her attack. "I just KNEW that night would change all of us," Robin complained bitterly. "Give a guy an inch of room and he'll think you'll let him fuck around whenever the hell he wants."

"I'm just kidding, baby," Bert rubbed Robin's knee.

"No, you're not," Robin barked accusingly. "If Gwen offered to take you into the spare room thirty seconds ago you would have gone."

Bert's jaw dropped. "No, I wouldn't!"

Robin glared at him witheringly.

"Well ... I ... I would have totally checked with you first."

I winced for Bert, already knowing where this was going.

"Checked with me? Hah! So you WANT to fuck Gwen again, huh? One time wasn't enough! So last night when we were together, were you fantasizing about her? Or maybe Dawn? Is that it?"

"Come ON, Robin! Gimme a break. I'm not fantasizing about anyone but you! It's just that ... I..."

"What? What?" Robin pressed. "I'm not good enough for you anymore?"

"Oh, come ON! Like you haven't had the stray thought about Ben or Ryan in the last month. I HEARD you mumbling Ben's name in your sleep a week ago. What kind of a dream was THAT?"

"Even IF I did, it was a DREAM. I can't help my subconscious. But you're wide awake! And you pull this shit on me and we-"

"I think we need to get out of here for a bit," I leaned over and whispered to Dawn. She nodded and looked at Gwen. The three of us tried to pack up as quietly as possible, but it really didn't matter since the fighting couple wasn't paying any attention to us.

"It was YOUR idea to try swinging in the first place!" Bert complained.

"I was DRUNK! I didn't mean it! And I don't remember YOU saying anything about-"

The three of us scooted out of the room, leaving an oblivious Bert and Robin to continue their fight. Only breathing a sigh of relief once the door was closed behind us.

"Head over to your place?" Gwen asked me.

I nodded and glanced at Dawn. "Better call Ryan so he doesn't walk in on that."

Dawn nodded and fished out her cell phone. But before she dialed, she looked at me and Gwen and asked, "Sure you two don't want a little private time before Ryan and I show up there?"

I arched an eyebrow and glanced at Gwen. It wasn't that I was against the idea of having sex with our pretty friend. but special occasions were one thing; a casual hookup like this just seemed...

"I don't think so," Gwen stated first before looking over at me. "I don't want to make a habit of this. We're friends ... maybe even special friends sometimes ... but let's not complicate things by making anything even remotely regular." Gwen jerked her thumb back to the door where we could still hear Robin and Bert yelling at each other. "The last thing I want is for our friendship to turn into that."

I nodded. "Agreed."

"So let's just get to your place and finish our work," Gwen said. "Listening to you two talking about Keenzian or Kaynzian or whatever will definitely put me out of the mood."

Brandi's and Dayna's crew looked up as Gwen, Dawn, and I walked into the house. It was still the first week back at school and everyone said hello as we meandered in and scoped out space to put our books.

"What brings you guys here?" Angela Chan asked in curiosity.

"Coming to flirt with the older women?" Kerri Trainor added with suggestive eyebrow waggles.

I winked at Kerri. Gwen answered for us. "Bert and Robin are having some ... difficulties. We just wanted to give them space."

"Ahh," Dayna nodded knowingly. She'd been around for several of Bert and Robin's famously LOOONG fights when they would hole themselves up in Dawn's or my bedroom last year when my crew still hung around the house.

"Pull up a chair," Erica Jackson offered by the dining table.

"You can sit in my lap," Monique St. Claire told me with a giggle.

I smiled. It was good to be home.

So Dawn, Gwen, and I sat at the dining table and spread out our books. Julie Carpenter decided she was done with her studying and left the dining table to give us a third seat, moving over to the couch to join some of the others watching TV. And the room quieted down as the piano opening to Phantom Planet's "California" sounded off, and I looked up to see the opening credits of "The OC" on FOX.

I rolled my eyes. I'd LIVED in Orange County and no one ever actually called it "The OC". It was just "OC" or "Orange County". The credits finished and the show went to commercial, and I decided to go ahead and comment to that effect. "The real thing is NOTHING like the show."

"What?" Angela turned around and smirked at me. "You didn't spend all your high school days sunning on the beach chasing amazingly hot girls? Or getting into random fistfights? Or riding around in expensive cars?"

I blinked. Actually... "Well, uh..." I muttered, thinking of Adrienne and Candy and fighting with Drew and... "It's not that crazy every WEEK," I finished lamely.

The girls giggled and Erica complained, "We all know it's just a Hollywoodized version of the real thing. There're no black people on the show."

I shrugged. "There aren't any black people in Newport Beach, either."

"You can't be serious," Erica shot back.

"Well, not ZERO black people," I admitted. "But there was a census. Newport Beach is only 0.5% black, and it's 92% white. So the TV show isn't that far off."

Erica, who grew up in Oakland, just looked at me like I came from Crazyworld.

I blushed and offered, "Well, my hometown is 30% Asian..."

Julie interrupted everybody by declaring, "Shh. It's back. Ooh, I HATE that Oliver..."

I shook my head and went back to my studies. We were used to studying while others were watching TV or playing video games, and Dawn and I quickly got back into rhythm. But twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang.

About half of us picked our heads up and looked around. Dawn got up and said, "Must be Ryan."

Gwen and I nodded and Dawn left. But a minute later, she came back and said in a quiet voice. "Ben, I think you'd better come here."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked questioningly at my best friend. I couldn't read anything in her expression other than that she was gravely serious, and I got up and headed out. Everyone else was occupied in their own studies or with the TV show.

It wasn't Ryan at the door. The person there was about a foot shorter, female, and had dark auburn hair. "Paige?" I exclaimed in surprise as I came down the hallway.

It was only when I got to the doorway that I realized she had rows and rows of tears rolling down her cheeks, along with what seemed to be the remains of a black eye, days old. Her arms were crossed over her own waist and she was shivering, even though she wore a heavy coat and it wasn't really that cold outside. I knew instantly that something was very, very wrong. "Paige, what happened?"

"B- Ben ... Uh, can I come in?" she asked hesitantly. There was no trace of the bravado she'd displayed before me the last few times we'd seen each other. Gone was the rebellious, self-destructive, bitchy tramp of last semester. In her place was a little girl frightened out of her wits.

"Of course, of course," I held my arm out to her and she came in. She shivered again when I wrapped my arm around her, shrinking away from me. But when I pulled back, afraid I'd upset her, she immediately lunged into my body and wrapped her arms around me. And there, she started sobbing big heaving cries of despair while shuddering uncontrollably.

I looked up at Dawn, who just stared wide-eyed at us and shrugged helplessly. I tilted my head, indicating that we should go to my room. And then Dawn led the way as I half-carried Paige there.

Once inside, Dawn closed the door as I sat Paige on the bed. Dawn went to sit beside her while I squatted in front of Paige and asked again, "Paige, what happened?"

The petite redhead bit her lip and looked away from me, still crying and shuddering. She wrung her hands together and looked ready to run ... somewhere ... anywhere ... But I let my hands rest on her knees and Dawn rubbed her back until she finally looked up at me with dull blue eyes and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go."

"You're always welcome here. I told you that before."

She nodded and whimpered. "I didn't know what else to do."

"We'll figure it out."

"How? There's no figuring THIS out!"

I was striving to be patient and project a sense of calm, but inside I was wondering what the heck was going on. I patted her knees and reassured her, "We'll do our best." Then I reached a hand up to her face and held her cheek, inspecting the black eye.

"Who gave this to you?"

"My boyfriend," she whimpered. "Ex-boyfriend," she clarified. "He was livid when he found out."

"Found out what?"

Paige quivered and bit her lip again, looking down between us. Then after taking a deep breath, she flicked her eyes up to me and said, "I'm pregnant."

I had a strange sense of déjà vu. My eyes went wide. My hands felt clammy. But at least this time I didn't pass out. In fact, I got a hold of myself pretty quickly. Maybe it was because I'd been through this once before. As soon as Paige had uttered the dreaded P-word, I'd had a flashback to Allie Sanders sobbing on the couch back after our Junior Year of High School.

Maybe it was because this time, I was absolutely certain the kid wasn't mine.

So after a second, I slid my hands over Paige's and separated them, squeezing reassuringly. "Okay. Tell me everything."

Paige shivered and took a deep breath. And then she started unspooling her tale, haltingly and a little out of order. "I found out about a week ago, right when I got back to campus. My period was due right after New Year's, actually. I'm almost always like clockwork. Every four weeks: boom, there it is. But I was late. I'm never late. But I couldn't take a pregnancy test, not in parents' house. And I wasn't sure how to sneak it around them. So I just had to wait ... and wait ... and wait ... I was scared as all hell, but I had to wait. And then literally like five minutes after they dropped me off at school, I walked down to the drugstore and bought a test." She stopped and took a deep breath, looking ready to start crying again. "Somebody had knocked me up."

I looked at Dawn for a moment, who just stared back at me with the same uncertainty I was feeling. I looked back to Paige. "You said 'somebody'. Does that mean you don't think it's your ex-boyfriend?"

Paige shook her head in the negative. "That's why he's so pissed. I didn't know what to do when I found out and he told me he loved me and so I thought I could tell him and he'd help me figure out what to do," she rambled. Then she paused and pinched her lips nervously. "But the thing is: he never wanted to risk knocking me up, so he NEVER fucked my pussy. Not once. Not even when I told him it was my safe time. So he knew he didn't knock me up. And he didn't know I was fucking other guys. So when I told him I was pregnant, he just punched me, called me a whore, and then kicked me out."

I sighed, holding my hand up to make Paige wait a second while I processed her rambling. "When was this?"

Paige sank. "Two days ago."

I looked at her black eye. Two days seemed about right. I took a deep breath and then asked, "So who IS the father?"

Paige blanched and avoided my eyes. She mumbled something so soft that I couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "Say again?"

She took a deep breath and looked at me plainly. And in a louder voice, she said, "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"There were ... a few guys..." She bit her lip again and looked down in shame. Dawn just rubbed her back.

I sighed and started doing the math in my head. If her period was due after New Year's, then her previous period would have been at the beginning of December. That put her most fertile period right around Finals ... and the last party at the end of Finals. "The black guy you met at our party?" I ventured.

Paige exhaled and kept studying the floor. "Maybe. I went back and added them up myself. There were five guys all around that time. Two of them were black, so even if the baby turns out half-black I still won't know."

"Five?" I asked incredulously.

Paige whimpered, Dawn glared at me, and I bit my tongue. I'd certainly banged more than five girls around the same time, so I had no room to talk.

I took a deep breath and Paige started wringing her hands. "Ben, what do I do? I can't face my parents like this! They'll disown me. They'll excommunicate me. They'll stone me!"

"They won't stone you," I sighed, and then took another breath, realizing that I didn't know how fundamental her parents were. "Will they?"

"I don't know!" Paige whined.

Dawn glared at me again and I winced, ordering myself to get back on track. "Look, we'll talk this over Paige," I assured her. Then I held her hands tightly and looked her in the eyes. "Paige, you DO know what the most practical thing to do here is."

"I won't have an abortion," she barked. "I can't. I'm Catholic!"

I winced. I wasn't going to start arguing her religious beliefs again. But I had to admit that Allie Sanders getting an abortion had made a lot of potential headaches go away. Maybe I could still talk Paige into it?

"Okay, Red. Okay..." I stood up, stretching out my legs. Fortunately, I was used to spending a lot of my time in that position, usually while eating a girl out, so my legs didn't hurt very much. I pulled Paige into my arms and hugged her reassuringly. "We'll figure it out."

Paige, Dawn, and I kept talking for another hour before the petite redhead literally fell asleep in my arms. We hadn't made any headway in deciding what to do, but at least she had calmed down. She wasn't expected to see her parents again until the end of the academic year in May, so we had some time. Of course, nothing we could do would hide a 6-month bump if she decided to keep the baby.

I gently laid Paige down in my bed and came back out with Dawn. In the hallway, we stood and talked quietly together. "Oh my god..." I sighed. I didn't believe, but the exclamation seemed appropriate given the circumstances.

Dawn nodded and patted my shoulder. "You did the best you could. She's calmed down and she seems to be sleeping okay."

I nodded and squeezed Dawn's hand. "Thanks for being in there with me."

"Of course," she nodded. "I told you I would be."

I arched an eyebrow.

Dawn smiled. "Don't you remember?"

I shook my head.

"It was right after Paige left with that guy at the End of the Year party. You tried to * me, remember that?"

I winced and nodded. "Sorry."

"You've already apologized enough. My point is that I promised I'd do whatever I could to help you with her. I still think on some level that she's just a messed up girl who leeched off you and doesn't deserve this kind of support from you. But..." She took a deep breath. "I know that she's important to you. And what that girl is going through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I'm glad you're around to help her when she needs you."

I smiled and pulled her to me in a hug. "Thank you, Dawn. Thank you."

Midway through the hug, I felt the presence of someone else behind us. Peering back, I saw Ryan who was staring at the two of us with his eyes mere slits. He glared at me and growled, "Would someone like to tell me what you two were doing inside that bedroom all this time?"

I sighed. And I'd thought this was going to be an ordinary day.

Ryan needed to peek inside and see that yes, Paige Jacobsen was indeed sleeping in my bed, before he relaxed over his paranoia that Dawn and I had been fucking the evening away. That started a mini-argument where Dawn complained about her boyfriend not trusting her after everything we'd already been through, especially given that Dawn had CALLED Ryan to come over to the house.

Fortunately, everyone else needed a lot less convincing. All of Dayna's and Brandi's friends had seen us escorting Paige past the living room and into my bedroom. And Adrienne just took my word at face value and invited me to spend the night with her. I gladly accepted and we made love one time before falling asleep in each other's arms.

The next day, I escorted Paige back to her dorm room to get changed and freshened up. Paige promised me she'd be fine on her own getting around the rest of the day, and I then headed out to meet Dawn for our classes.

I didn't see or hear from the petite redhead for the rest of the day. I assume she went through her usual routine, getting to classes and finding food. I'm not sure where she went afterwards, or whether she was still hanging out with whatever friends she'd made during the last semester. I inwardly hoped she wasn't smoking weed; it certainly wouldn't be good for the baby. But I did my best to remind myself that I'd done my part to help her out for a night and it was yet to be seen how much more she would want or need from me. Certainly, I thought I'd already done more for her than a typical ex-boyfriend would have done. And I hoped that a few more times visiting together and talking would eventually help Paige decide for herself how best to proceed.

Turned out she was looking for more than that. I got home from Dawn's and Ryan's apartment to find Paige sitting in the living room, talking to Dayna's and Brandi's friends. There was a suitcase conspicuously propped up outside my bedroom door. And a half-guilty/half-pleading expression was on the little redhead's face. She stood and walked over to me in the hallway, staring down at my feet and nervously shifting her weight from side to side. And in the quietest, most innocent voice, she asked, "Can I stay here with you for a while?" Then she looked up at me with big, puppy-dog eyes.

I was a goner. I already knew it. But it wasn't just my house. I took a deep breath and stammered, "Uh, I don't know. I mean, how long were you thinking?"

"Not long. Just until I get this figured out. But I really don't want to be alone right now. I need to have people around me I know, people who might actually care about me." She blushed and looked around. "I need to be around YOU."

I picked my eyes up and looked into the living room. "It's not entirely my call. Actually, the house is being leased by Dayna and Brandi and-"

"Pssht," Brandi waved me off. "It's not like she wasn't practically living here while you two were dating."

"We're not dating this time," I pointed out.

"Same difference," Brandi shrugged. "Long as she's out of the way."

"What, you're gonna turn a pregnant girl out onto the streets?" Dayna arched an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. And going back to her own dorm room is not the same as being 'turned out onto the streets'." I sighed and looked straight at Paige. "It's not that you aren't welcome here; you are."

"Just for a little while. Please don't make me go out there on my own," she whimpered.

I liked my friend and I wanted to support her, but I couldn't spend EVERY night dealing with her pregnancy dramas. I had my own studies, my own life, and a lot of other girls I wanted in that bedroom besides her. Heck, Josephine Beart had already called, making comments about going for a trifecta tonight. "I can't impose on Adrienne every night, for one thing," I reasoned.

"If it's about beds, I'll sleep out here," Paige replied.

I waved to Brandi and Dayna. The couches were public space and wouldn't be as 'out of the way' as they may have originally thought. But both older girls just shrugged.

"And I'll make it up to you. I'll cook. I'll clean. I'll pull my weight. Please?"

I sighed. Little warnings in Dawn's voice about how Paige latched onto me before; "leeched off me" as she put it. But I couldn't think of any concrete reason not to let her hang around. Clearly, she was a lost, frightened girl, looking for something supportive and stable around her. I wanted to help, and this was one way I could do so.

"If it's okay with everyone else, I don't see why not."

As much as I just wanted to open my heart and arms to Paige, I had to be practical about the situation. Paige went ahead and put her suitcase in my room and her toiletries into the bathroom, but she wasn't given a drawer and she promised she wouldn't try to take over my closet. This was a temporary thing and she could return to her dorm room to swap out supplies whenever she needed.

Also, there were limitations on access to my room. The simple fact was that I had a busy social life, and not all of my sexual activities were out at the girl's place. Already this past week, Jocelyn Canilao and Kelly Park had visited the house to make up for the encounter we never had after the End of the Year party. I'd also learned to value my privacy after the last time Adrienne and Paige had shared a room with me at the end of our Freshman year. So pretty much the only times Paige was to be in my bedroom was when I invited her or if she just needed somewhere to change while I wasn't occupying it.

Well, Paige broke this rule the very first night.

It was midnight when she bedded down for the evening, comfortably situated on the couch with plenty of blankets and a pillow she'd specifically brought from her own dorm room. I stayed with her and talked to her for a little while before giving her a chaste peck on the forehead and then retiring to my own room.

Twenty minutes later, I felt the inky blackness clouding over my vision as I drifted off to sleep. But just before I got there, I felt the mattress shift and then a warm body slide in beside me.

I turned in surprise, but not in panic, and looked over to see Paige cuddling up beside me. She realized I was awake and quickly wormed her way beneath my arm so that her head was pillowed on my chest, and she wrapped herself around me comfortingly. At least she was fully clothed in her pajamas.

"Paige, what are you doing?" I asked softly.

"Please, Ben? I just don't want to feel alone right now."

I sighed. "This wasn't what we talked about."

She looked at me with worry and pouted. "Please?"

"I'm just not comfortable with-"

"Comfortable?" she cut me off. "You always feel more comfortable after you've gotten off. Would you like me to take care of that for you?"

"Paige, no!" I hissed. "It's not about that. It's just that we're not together and we're not going to get back together. And most people who aren't together and aren't getting together don't sleep together."

"We're not most people," she said quietly. "Please? Just one night. I don't want to be alone right now. You'll barely even know I'm here."

"Paige..."

"Pleeeease?" Those big blue eyes flashed in the darkness.

I sighed, already defeated. "Okay."

"You'll barely even know I'm here," she promised before swinging a leg over mine, pressing her entire body against my side, and generally doing her best to crawl inside my clothes.

Yeah, right.

I felt something tickle my balls; and with a start, I jerked awake.

"Mmph!" somebody groaned; and as I sat up, I realized I'd just shoved my dick an inch into a girl's throat. She gagged, popping her head off and coughing while I groaned in annoyance and pulled her head back down. She recovered quickly and resumed rhythmically pumping my shaft in her hands and sucking on the mushroom head as if I'd never interrupted her.

My eyes fluttered for a brief second, giving me just enough time to see the dark- haired head bobbing up and down in my lap before my heavy eyelids closed themselves. It felt sooo good, and right in this moment, I would like nothing better than to bust my nut into this girl's throat and go right back to sleep.

But then my brain caught up, and I idly wondered exactly WHO was giving me the wake-up blowjob. I couldn't remember who I'd been with the night before. I remembered falling asleep between Jocelyn and Kelly, but I realized I was confusing last night with some previous night. I imagined it might be Adrienne, but she never would have gagged when my cockhead pushed into her throat; so it had to be someone less experienced with cocksucking. And just when I started to wrack my brain for other ideas, it hit me: PAIGE.

My eyes flew open and sure enough, there was the definite auburn red in her dark hair color. And when I picked my head up, the petite girl rolled her deep blue eyes up to me and smiled around my meat.

"Paige!" I complained.

She popped off and stroked me a few more times. "Morning!"

"What are you doing?"

She giggled naughtily and looked down at my prick. "Thought that was obvious." Then she resumed sucking on the end of my knob.

"Paige, stop. We can't do this."

She pulled off again. "Why not? It's not like we haven't done this before."

"That's not the point. You shouldn't be doing that," I huffed, already out of breath.

"Why not? I want to and you don't seem to mind."

"I mind. Okay, my dick doesn't mind. But I mind."

"Why?"

Why? I didn't know. I knew I should mind but her mouth felt sooo good right now I couldn't think straight. She must have been working me for a while before I woke up because I was this close to orgasm and it was hard to think of anything else. The only thing filling my head was the pleasure Paige was giving me, and every fiber of my being screamed to let her finish me off. "I don't know," I finally whimpered. "I just know we shouldn't be doing this."

"But I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay here," she pouted and took a long lick along the underside of my shaft from base to tip.

"Ohhh..." I groaned rapturously, closing my eyes. But just as quickly I opened them back up and looked sternly at her. "Thanks accepted. You're welcome. Now please stop," I whimpered.

"Nuh-uh. I'm almost finished. I can feel it." She grinned and took me as far as she could, which wasn't much more than halfway. But she sucked me like a vacuum and stroked what remained with her left hand, tickling my balls with her right just the way she knew I liked it. And uncontrollably I felt the sperm in my testicles come to a boil.

"Paige..." I whimpered pitifully. She ignored me and kept on going.

Ah, hell.

One stroke, two strokes, three strokes. Paige went up and down with her hands caressing me so firmly, and I was done. "Arrghh!" I grunted and thrust my hips off the bed again. Only this time, she was prepared for it and didn't choke, raising her head with me. And then the volleys of cum started ejecting into her sucking mouth.

"Mmm..." Paige hummed happily while I started feeding her my cream. Her throat contracted as she took each burst into her belly. Her eyes were fixed on mine, watching me watching her swallow every drop I gave her.

And when I was done, my head sagged back and sank into my pillow. I exhaled slowly, feeling the wonderful release of tension. Physically, I felt great. That had been a spectacular orgasm.

But a brand new tension started tightening my brain as I realized what we'd just done. So I sat up and started lecturing Paige on why she shouldn't be doing that anymore: we were no longer dating, she had a lot of emotional issues to face, and it wasn't appropriate for her to molest me in my sleep.

I wasn't sure she was really listening.

Paige wasn't the only girl vying for my attention that new year. The calendar had turned. The pledge period was over. And there were no more competitions left.

But a certain Tri-Delt still had some unfinished business with me.

"Hi, Ben." I'd been walking out of the Bongo Burger with my friends when the melodic voice caught my attention. I looked over and came to a stop when I saw Cadence Carmichael standing off to the side wearing black slacks and a sleek black top with flared sleeves that ended just past her elbows. Her pale skin and strawberry-blonde hair stood out in stark contrast to the outfit, and she was radiantly beautiful as she smiled at me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I looked at Dawn, Gwen, Bert, and Robin. My friends shrugged and Dawn and I exchanged curious looks. Dawn read my mind and then spoke up, saying, "C'mon Bert. We'll meet Ben at class." She hooked her arm through his and they headed off. Robin and Gwen then nodded to me and went in another direction toward their own classes, leaving me alone with the tall, beautiful Tri-Delt.

"Hey, Cadence. What's up?"

She looked nervous for half a second before tilting her head, brushing her bangs back from her face, and smiling at me. She stood poised and stared intently at me with those angular green eyes while stating, "I was wondering if you're doing anything Friday night."

I arched an eyebrow and looked curiously at her. In her low heels, we were at the same height, and I stared right back at her as I asked, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

She blushed and looked down for a moment before flicking her gaze back to me. She canted her head and then smiled confidently. "I am."

I blinked in some surprise, and she took a deep breath and continued. "No more games, Ben. No more sorority tasks or pledge points or competitions or crap like that. I'm not asking you out because I want to win something or beat somebody. I like you. I've always liked you. I think that's why I could never just throw myself at you while you still had the pledge bounty on you. I didn't want to just get laid. I can do that anytime I want, and I know you can, too. You intrigue me. And I think I intrigue you."

I stepped a little closer and looked intently into Cadence's eyes. She stared right back and as we held our gazes, I saw a little smile creeping into the corners of her eyes. She knew she had me. "Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I'll leave that to you."

"You asked me out on a date."

Cadence smirked, looking down and shaking her head. "Y'know, I've never done that before. That was my very first time asking a guy out on a date, and I really don't know what else to do."

I arched an eyebrow but Cadence just beamed at me. She took a step forward, bringing her right up into my face. And with a challenging raised eyebrow of her own, she stated, "You're the guy. It's up to you to plan something that'll impress me."

I grinned. No more pledge games, but Cadence still wanted to play her boy-girl games. She didn't want me to just accept her pursuit. She wanted ME to pursue HER. "Fine," I nodded. "Friday night. I'll pick you up from your dorm room at eight o'clock."

She smiled and turned, already walking away. But two steps along, she coyly glanced back at me over her shoulder. "See you then."

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" Paige said brightly when I walked through the door. "It's a Friday and I'll make you anything you want!"

I sighed and shook my head, unshouldering my pack and heading for my bedroom. "Nothing, Paige."

"Aww, I'm serious. I want to do this for you. How about lasagna? I KNOW you always loved my lasagna."

My stomach growled at me. One part about being so sheltered growing up was that Paige had spent a lot of time learning to be a good housewife. Already the house was cleaner than at any time since the last time Paige was spending most of her nights here. And I remembered quite fondly how good her lasagna could taste. "Ohhh," I groaned at the thought of missing Paige's cooking. "I can't. I'm going out tonight."

"Out? Where?" she followed me into my bedroom and just watched me kicking off my shoes and pulling crap out of my pockets.

"I've got a date."

"A date? With whom?" she pouted. I headed back out of the room and into the bathroom.

She followed me in there as well.

"With a girl. Now Paige, I gotta pee."

"So? Nothing I haven't seen before." She planted her fists against her hips and frowned at me.

I looked at her expectantly and even made a shooing motion. She reminded me of one of those damn bees that followed you around wherever you went. You tried to swat at it but it would just buzz around somewhere else before returning, convinced you were a flower that needed pollinating or something. And all the while you were just hoping you didn't get stung.

Paige sighed and just turned to face away, folding her arms across her chest. It was clear she wasn't going to leave. "Who?" she demanded with her back to me.

I sighed and relaxed my kegel muscles, letting the urine stream finally out of me to splash down into the toilet. "Cadence Carmichael," I finally admitted mid- stream.

"Don't know her."

"She's a Tri-Delt."

"Figures. Haven't you already had half of them?"

"I haven't had half of them," I sighed. "I haven't even had a dozen of them."

"We can work on that."

"What?" I was so surprised by her response that I momentarily lost the stream before resuming.

Paige turned around while I was still peeing. She glanced at my cock and then lifted her gaze back up to my eyes. "If you want, I can help you work on that. Give us time and we'll work through half of them in no time."

I rolled my eyes and then refocused on peeing. "Paige, that's not the point."

"Then what IS the point?"

I sighed. "The point is that I have a date tonight and there's no point in you making dinner for me since I'll be eating dinner out. So if you're hell-bent on making food, why don't you go ask Adrienne what she wants?"

"Adrienne's out. Modeling thing. She had to skip class today."

"Oh, right. Dayna and Brandi then."

"It's a Friday. Dayna's with Kevin. And Brandi isn't home."

I sighed. "Then make food for yourself. Or go back to your own dorm room!"

"Are you kicking me out?" she whined.

I sighed and jiggled my limp penis wearily, shaking out the last few drops. "No. Of course not." I wiped up then tucked myself away, moving to go wash my hands. Despite myself, having a pretty girl like Paige staring at my cock was starting to make it rise.

"Don't you have anywhere you can go tonight? Maybe visit with Gwen?"

Paige shook her head. "Gwen's got a date, too. Same with Ryan and Dawn, and Bert and Robin. I'm all alone..."

I sighed and went into my bedroom, looking through my closet for something to wear. I'd need something suitable for cold weather without being bulky.

Of course, Paige followed me in and then flopped onto my bed. "She pretty?"

"What?"

"Cadence, right? Is she pretty?"

"Of course."

"She got big boobs?"

I sighed and pictured the gorgeous strawberry-blonde freshman Tri-Delt. "You know me."

"You should wear the black and blue sweater. You always looked so hot in it."

"Thank you, Paige." I deliberately reached for the green zip-up, thinking it would go better with Cadence's eyes.

If Paige disapproved of the green sweater, she didn't comment. Instead, she asked, "Would you like me to take care of that before you go?"

"What?" I turned around to find her pointing at my crotch, which had slightly bulged outward after first Paige staring at it and then the stray thought about Cadence's boobs.

"You know what they say about taking a loaded gun on a date," Paige chirped. "I'd be happy to take care of it for you."

"What? No!"

"It looks like it wants to." The damn thing HAD grown bigger at the idea of Paige sucking me to an orgasm before my date.

"Paige," I growled threateningly.

"Oh, poo."

"Now will you please leave me alone to get changed?"

"Why?" She leaned back and propped herself up, clearly content to watch me start stripping off my clothing.

Stupid bees.

"I can't believe you took me ice skating," Cadence complained, but with a smile on her face. "I feel like such a klutz!"

Right as she said this, the tall, leggy girl's right foot slipped out and she started to go down. But I held onto her hand with my other on her waist, stabilizing her just long enough to regain her balance. In the end, she overcompensated by leaning into me and wound up collapsing against my chest, now with both of my arms around her waist. "I've got you," I said warmly.

She blinked and looked into my eyes, a little smile on her face. "Is this what I had to do to fall into your arms? Literally, I had to FALL into your arms?"

I chuckled and helped her up, letting her re-set her skates before relaxing my arms. Then taking her hand, I gently led us to skate over to the ice rink's exit, where we clomped out onto the carpet. "You could've fallen into my arms anytime you wanted to push the issue."

"Not true," she frowned as we found a bench and sat down, sighing with relief at no longer having to balance herself on the unfamiliar ice skates. "You wouldn't have let me get that far; not as long as I was a pledge. Face it: you were having more fun getting all the girls to flirt with you than to actually let one of us land you."

I smiled and thought back to the previous semester. "True," I admitted. "I was having fun with it. But I would have given up the game earlier if you'd come onto me as strongly as some of the others."

"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes. "Now you're just trying to butter me up so you can get into my panties."

I shook my head. "I'm serious. Ask Dawn. I told her you were at the top of my 'To Do' list."

Cadence rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well if you were really that interested in me, you wouldn't have given the points to Jocelyn, Andie, and Tonya," she said a little bitterly.

I blinked and leaned back. "Hurt you a bit?"

Cadence looked away from me. "What? A guy I had a crush on decided to sleep with three other pledges instead of me? Why would I be hurt?"

I read the sarcasm in her voice and put my hand over hers. "Then why are you here with me now?" I asked sincerely. "Why go out with a guy who has clearly proven himself to be quite the slut?"

Cadence bit her lip and kept her gaze averted for what seemed like a full minute. She sighed and then squeezed my hand back. "Because I wanted to see if things would be different once the game was over."

I arched an eyebrow as she turned to look at me. "What do you mean?"

"The game was just about getting laid. Even you said it was about a 'To Do' list. I don't just want to be 'done' and then abandoned. A lot of the sisters would be fine with that." She snorted. "Hell, from what I hear, a lot of the sisters HAVE been fine with that. You got your pussy; they got their Big Ben Experience. Everybody's happy."

"Except you. You never got your Big Ben Experience."

"I don't want just a Big Ben Experience."

"And what DO you want?"

She leaned in and put her hand on my chest. "I want you."

We stayed there, just looking into each other's eyes for a little while. She looked so sweet and so seductive at the same time, and I felt a powerful urge to kiss her lips right then and there. From the way she kept glancing down at my mouth and puckering slightly, I got the impression she wanted me to.

But I didn't. I wasn't sure of my motives in this case. If I kissed Cadence, I'd want to fuck her. Hell, I'd wanted to fuck her since I saw her in the butterfly costume at the Tri-Delt Halloween party. But right now, listening to the heartfelt tone in her voice, I found that I didn't want to fuck her anymore...

I found that I just might want to make love to her...

But was I ready for that?

When Cadence had first approached me outside Bongo Burger asking for a date, I'd assumed she was finally following through on the flirtations we'd made last semester. I remembered vividly how she'd danced with me at the End of the Year party, promising to be my Barbie Girl. And tonight I'd assumed she'd want to hang out for a little bit, flirting and being coy before retiring someplace to fuck each other's brains out.

But I'd assumed wrong. This wasn't a hookup like things had been between me and Jocelyn or Bridget or any other Tri-Delt I'd been with. And if Cadence wasn't just looking for a booty call, if she was really looking for something more, then I couldn't just act like I had with all of the others. Now, knowing what she wanted from me, if I slept with her I'd be leading her to believe that I might reciprocate those feelings. And I wasn't sure I could do that.

We stared longingly into each other's eyes for a long time. Instead of the tempting seductress, I saw a sweet young girl staring back at me in adoration. And I suddenly felt guilty for some reason, like I was taking advantage of an innocent with a crush that made her very susceptible to a predator like me. With a suddenly dry throat, I rasped, "Why me? I'm just a playboy, banging every hot chick I can find. Why do you want me?"

She smiled enigmatically. "I don't know that I want you yet. That's why I asked for a date. I know I'm drawn to you for some reason I don't quite understand. And I want to find out if you can be the kind of guy that will make me happy."

I wasn't sure what to say. Cadence just smiled and then stood up, suddenly confident and poised despite the unfamiliar ice skates. She started tugging on my hand. "Come on. I want another shot at this skating thing. And if I fall, at least I already know you'll catch me.."

83 The Butterfly and the Bee ll

"Thanks for tonight. I had a great time." Cadence turned and as she did so, stepped right up into my personal space. Back in her shoes instead of ice skates, her eyes were right about at my level as she stared rather seductively at me with those bedroom eyes.

"I had a great time, too," I replied, my tongue feeling thick. For once, I wasn't exactly sure what to do. We were standing in the hallway outside the freshman girl's dorm room, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't know whether or not I would be going inside with her.

I'd been getting mixed signals all night on that point. Half the time, she seemed to pure and virginal and innocent, coyly smiling at me but not touching me any more than she had to. The other half of the time, she was a sensual vixen, with a fire in her eyes like she was fantasizing about jumping me. Right now, Cadence just looked at me rather expectantly, with a world of desire in her eyes, but I didn't know if it was actually an invitation. So rather than make a decision one way or the other, I decided to go with a more standard date activity. I let my hands gently come up to her cheeks as I tilted my head. And I closed my eyes as I moved in for the kiss I knew the both of us wanted.

Cadence tasted ... minty. And it wasn't from a breath mint, although she may have popped one at some point earlier. There was a natural flavor to her lips that filled my senses and sparkled in my brain as we kissed for the first time. And I let myself be swept away by the simple passion of kissing a girl without feeling like it was a prelude to sex.

When we broke, Cadence looked at me a little expectantly again. There was obvious desire in her eyes and I knew I lusted for her as well. But again, I wasn't sure I wanted to act on my lust. In a way, I didn't know how. Every girl I'd been with in recent memory, with the singular exception of Leighton's unique situation, had initiated the sexual contact. I was waiting for an irrefutable invitation from Cadence, and I realized that I wasn't going to get it.

And that's why Cadence and I never hooked up the previous semester. I kept waiting for her to push me so hard that I caved and slept with her. She kept waiting for me to show that I really wanted her. One of us had to make the first move, and neither of us ever did.

I wasn't ready to do so now, either. Yeah, I had wanted to fuck her for months now. Yeah, I had gone into this date expecting to finally do the deed. And if I asked her to sleep with me right now, I knew unequivocally that she would. But now that I was here, I realized I couldn't push things in that direction. She wanted ME, not the Big Ben Experience. And I didn't know if I was ready to give it to her. She didn't want a hookup; she wanted a potential boyfriend. And I didn't know if I was ready for a relationship like that.

"I'll see you later, okay?" I said softly.

There was a disappointment in her eyes, but she nodded her understanding. She leaned in and pecked me quickly, giving me a fleeting minty taste once again. And then before I could really react, she flitted away and through the door, giving me a Cheshire smile just before closing it in my face.

Once again, she'd left me craving more.

I still wasn't sure if I had any feelings for Cadence besides an appreciation for her physical beauty and a desperate desire to fuck her. But now I knew that I was intrigued by her. I was still horny, but I was intrigued.

The horniness didn't go away by the time I returned home. Like I said, I'd been expecting to get laid that night and I'd deliberately avoided getting off with any of my potential bedmates throughout the day in the interest of saving things up for Cadence. And so I was still rock hard when I walked into my bedroom just after midnight.

I had already kicked off my shoes and started stripping out of my clothes when I realized my bed wasn't empty. This time, I hadn't made so much noise that the girl in my bed woke up. And I cautiously approached to confirm my suspicions as to her identity.

Yep, it was Paige. I felt a momentary flash of annoyance. This was MY bed, and we had a rule that she wouldn't sleep here. Of course, she'd broken that rule more than half the time since she'd arrived, although she HAD managed not to molest me in my sleep anymore.

But the annoyance passed as I looked on her sweet face. She really was a very pretty girl, with a cute innocence that belied the traumas she was currently going through. Now, in sleep and in my bed, she seemed at peace, as if her problems had gone away.

And the more I looked at her sleeping, the more I remembered the way she'd looked when we were dating. Paige would spend almost every night in my bed back then, and many of those nights included some really naughty, really aggressive sex. I had more than a few memories of pinning the petite girl to the mattress with my cock sawing in and out of her tight asshole while she screamed sacrilegious curses at the top of her lungs.

It was those memories that made the erection in my shorts even worse. I had planned on getting laid tonight, but it wasn't right for me and Cadence to be doing that just yet. That didn't mean I wasn't still horny, and as I looked at Paige's slumbering body, I was very tempted to wake her up by sliding my lubricated dick up her ass. From the way she'd been acting ever since she got here, I got the distinct impression she would welcome the attention by reaching back to spread her own buttcheeks for easier access.

But I couldn't do it. I turned away and headed outside to face my second temptation. Adrienne had taken the Mustang into San Francisco that day for her modeling gig, leaving me to borrow Dayna's Impala for my date with Cadence. When I'd returned home, the Mustang was already in the driveway, confirming to me that Adrienne was already home. And unlike Paige, we had an active sexual relationship that had frequently included pure relief sex for one or the other, in situations just like this.

But I couldn't to that, either. I knew Adrienne was tired and had been complaining about not getting enough sleep recently. She was juggling schoolwork, sorority commitments, and her burgeoning modeling career, and it was all taking its toll on her. I couldn't take away her precious sleep time just to get myself off.

So I ended up in the bathroom, taking a shower to end my night while dispiritedly masturbating. I was feeling so dejected, I actually couldn't make myself cum in a reasonable amount of time while shampooing my hair and washing off my body.

But I remembered that I'd stashed a lingerie catalog in the bathroom cabinet. So after getting out and drying off, I flipped through the Christmas-themed catalog until I found my favorite spread, that of Adrienne herself in a lacey red and green number that did wonders to enhance her massive tits and show off her shapely curves. With the catalog open on the sink, it only took another minute before I was spurting little white ribbons into the toilet. I didn't feel very relieved, but my cock deflated. And I staggered back into my bedroom to put on my pajamas.

Then at last, I crawled into bed to find that Paige's body had already warmed the covers. Shifting forward, I spooned myself around her smaller body while she sighed contentedly in her sleep. And smelling the sweet scent of my petite redhead's shampoo, I put my head down onto the pillow and drifted away to sleep.

FEBRUARY 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"Paige, you can't keep just showing up in my bed. Especially when I'm out on a date!"

"It was a Tuesday!" she complained. "How was I supposed to know you were out on a date? I thought you were just studying late at Dawn's place."

"Doesn't matter. Any night I'm out I could potentially bring a girl home."

"But you haven't been with any girls but Adrienne since you started going out with Cadence," Paige huffed. "Well, except for those two times with Adrienne AND Monique. But all the other Tri-Delts backed off since you and Cadence started your ... thing. And you've certainly never brought HER home."

"That might change. The sex thing is a little ... delicate. And do you realize how fucked up things could be if we walked in to find YOU in my bed?"

"But I LIKE sleeping in your bed!" Paige whined. "I never sleep very well on the couch. It's kinda lumpy and it's so empty in that big, cavernous room. It's so lonely. And I feel so safe and warm when I can spoon up to you!"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead while doing my best to concentrate on the road. "If the couch is uncomfortable, why don't you just go home to your own bed?"

I wished I hadn't said it the instant the words left my mouth. We both knew very well that she didn't want to go home to her own bed, all alone, still wondering what the hell to do about the fetus growing inside her without anyone for support around her. She'd asked me to stop telling her to leave unless I really intended to kick her out, complaining that it was a really hurtful thing for me to say. And now that I'd just said so, Paige's eyes welled up with tears.

"I'm sorry, Red," I said apologetically. "I'm just a little cranky."

"You're cranky because you're not getting laid enough. Adrienne's been so busy lately and the Tri-Delts are all being respectful of their sister claiming you and Kerri found a new boyfriend and-"

"I get it!" I interrupted her. "I get it."

"You know you don't have to be so bottled up," she looked over at me. Her eyelashes batted enticingly as she said seductively, "You know I'd be happy to-"

"Paige..." I sighed, interrupting her again.

The seductive tone vanished. "Well I'm horny, too!" she whined.

"So go find yourself another boyfriend."

"I don't WANT another boyfriend. Look at what screwing around got me," she pointed at her belly. "We're freaking going to my doctor right NOW to talk about what screwing around got me."

"Then why do you want to screw around with me so bad?"

"Because you're Ben! You're safe. And you love me; I know you do. Otherwise why would you be going to all this trouble?"

I sighed, "Paige..."

"Besides, it's not like you can knock me up."

"Paige..."

"I know, I know. 'We're not that way anymore'. And you don't have those feelings for me anymore," she pouted. "All I'm saying is that if you're horny, and I'm horny, then why can't we just make each other happy?"

I was tempted. Her argument made a lot of sense to me, especially in my cum- filled state. But... "I couldn't do that to Cadence."

"Do what? So you've been on a couple of dates."

"Five. In less than three weeks. We're 'dating'."

"But you're NOT having sex with her. What does that say about your level of commitment? Besides, it's not like she had a problem with you screwing a dozen of her sorority sisters before."

I just shook my head and went silent. Paige waited me out, staring at me hopefully. And eventually we pulled up outside the OB/GYN office, parked, and I shut off the engine.

"I'm sorry," Paige said quietly. "I know I shouldn't push you. You've been sooo patient with me, with everything. I know I'm an annoying pest sometimes..."

"A bee..." I said off-hand.

" ... And I've been such a nuisance lately."

"You're not a nuisance. The house hasn't been this clean in a year."

"It's just if there's anything I can do to make you happy, I want to. You know?"

"I know," I sighed and then looked over at the scared little girl. Exhaling, I reached over and covered her hand with my own, squeezing her fingers. I smiled sincerely and repeated, "I know."

She smiled back. "Thanks for driving me."

I pulled on the handle and opened my door. "Come on. Let's go."

"Any family history of diabetes?" Dr. Leslie Huo asked, holding up a clipboard.

"No," Paige shook her head.

"Any family history of cardiovascular problems: high blood pressure, heart disease, cholesterol?"

"Uh, I think my Dad has high blood pressure and high cholesterol."

"Okay." The doctor scribbled. "Any eye disorders: blindness, cataracts, glaucoma?

"I don't think so."

This continued on for several minutes. The longer it went, the tighter Paige squeezed my hand. And when the doctor was finally done, Paige asked nervously, "Does this mean my baby is going to have problems?"

"Most likely not," Dr. Huo said reassuringly. "It's just good to know what family histories there are if complications do arise."

"Oh, okay."

"Now," Dr. Huo looked over at me. "Since you're here, may I ask about your family history?"

I blinked in surprise and sat up straighter. "Me? Uh, why?"

Dr. Huo looked at me sagely. "Well, the father has just as much of an influence on any inherited issues for the fetus."

I blinked again, but Paige beat me to the punch. "Uh, he's not the father."

"Oh."

"Uh," Paige hung her head. "I'm not exactly sure who is. And Ben is just a friend."

The doctor winced, trying to delicately reply, "I see."

Paige squeezed my hand tightly again, feeling ashamed. But Dr. Huo said gently, "That's fine. Many of our pregnancies, we never get the father's family history. The father doesn't usually come to these visits. So you're lucky to have a good friend here with you."

"I know." Paige managed a little smile and she glanced up at me. The happiness and gratitude on her face made it all worthwhile to be here.

"Now," Dr. Huo continued. "We need to talk about drug and alcohol use."

Paige looked ready to start crying again.

"So you DID notice me at the Halloween party?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Absolutely," Cadence smiled. We were sitting in Dayna's Impala again, the front bench seat much better for this sort of thing than Adrienne's Mustang with the big center console separating the two bucket seats. I'd parked up by the Lawrence Labs, and we had a very nice view of the city lit up beneath us. "If it wasn't for the pledge task Leighton handed out, I would have been all over you."

"If it WASN'T for the pledge task?"

Cadence nodded. "I wanted to get to know you just because I thought you were sooo attractive. And don't think I didn't feel your eyes on me every time I walked by. I must have done a couple of laps just to see if you would stare at me again."

"I loved that butterfly costume," I sighed. "But then why didn't you come after me?"

"Why didn't you come after me?" she shot back with a little smile. And then she turned serious. "I don't play games like that. I knew a bunch of girls would be zeroing in on you because of the pledge task and I didn't want to get in the middle of that. Not worth my effort. So I just did my thing, flirting around and not really settling down with anyone."

"Is that why you never really came onto me for the rest of the semester?"

She nodded. "I'm not into the competition thing."

I arched an eyebrow. "You have to be a little competitive. Bridget said you were in first place."

"There are lots of ways of earning points," she shrugged. "But I wasn't going to fight with other girls for your attention. That's why I split that one time after the gym when Jocelyn hedged in. You either wanted me or you didn't. And I only want guys that want ME."

"I want you."

Cadence frowned. "Not enough back then. And not the way I wanted you."

I sighed and thought back to my playboy past. "Why DO you want me?"

"You keep asking me that. Why do you want me?"

"I wanted you at first because you were the sexiest thing I'd seen in a long, long time. I told you I loved that butterfly costume."

"Fine," she blushed but looked proud of herself. "But why now?"

"I'm not entirely sure. You intrigue me. And you haven't just fallen into bed with me." I arched an eyebrow at her. "We're on what, our sixth date? I don't think I've ever been held out this long and I'll admit you're piquing my interest."

"So the secret to your heart is to keep you out of my pants?" Cadence giggled. "Looks like you'll NEVER get laid."

"Awww..." I pouted. But I looked at her sternly and said, "There. I've told you a bit about why I want you. Now what was it about me that made me 'sooo attractive' as you put it."

"The Prince Charming costume." Cadence sighed dreamily and sagged deeper into the crook of my shoulder while I wrapped my arm more tightly around her. "That's when I first started crushing on you. I always wanted to be a Princess."

"You'd look good in a tiara."

"Oh, I do. You should see my Prom pictures."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I was pretty hot." Her green eyes sizzled as she grinned at me. Then she dramatically gestured to herself. "Prom Queen."

I gestured to myself. "Prom King."

Her eyebrows went up. "Really?"

I nodded. "Although I wasn't actually there for the ceremony itself. Neither of us were."

"What do you mean?"

I blushed and looked away. "Uh, maybe I shouldn't talk about that."

"No, no. You've got me curious."

I half-sighed and half-smiled at the memory. "Adrienne and I were the Prom Queen and King. But, ah, we were up in a hotel room when they announced it."

"In a hotel room?" Cadence raised her eyebrows suggestively.

I shrugged. "It was the night we got together, really."

Cadence got the implication and she grinned. "So you both missed getting crowned?"

I nodded.

"Must've caused quite the stir."

I blushed and shrugged. "Like I said. We weren't there."

Cadence was quiet, looking off into the distance and holding onto my arm around her torso. I left her to her thoughts for a minute, and when she spoke, I was surprised she was still on the same subject. "You said that was the night you and Adrienne got together. When did you two break up?"

I arched an eyebrow. "You really want me to talk about an ex-girlfriend? Thought that was against the rules."

"I'm curious."

I shrugged and said, "Uh, end of the first semester, last year."

"But you're still obviously close friends."

I nodded.

"Are you still sleeping with her?"

My eyebrows popped up and I glanced down at the pretty girl pillowing her cheek against my shoulder. I didn't answer right away.

"I'm serious," she added. "I may not have been one of the girls boinking you all last semester, but I paid attention. You were getting laid by one of the Tri-Delts almost every day from Halloween to the end of the year, and most of those were with Adrienne as well. I know for a fact you were still sleeping with her then. And in the past few weeks, I know most of my sisters have stepped back out of respect for me, but I don't know who else you're seeing outside the sorority."

"I'm not 'seeing' anyone else," I said a little defensively. "Just you."

"'Seeing' is the wrong word. I guess I'm wondering who you're fucking," Cadence clarified. "Because from everything I can tell, you're a sexual creature used to getting laid on a very regular basis. And I've been holding out on you for a long time."

"Why is that?"

Her eyes glittered. "Because I'm waiting for you to make a move. Now don't change the subject."

I sighed. "You want to know if I'm having sex with other girls?"

"Yes."

I took a deep breath. And after steeling myself, I answered honestly, "Yes, I am."

"Okay." She turned and settled back into the crook of my shoulder, staring outwards.

I blinked, not quite understanding. "Okay? Just 'okay'?"

"What? Were you expecting me to get upset and order you to keep it in your shorts?"

"Uh..."

"So you're having sex. It's not like you were monogamous with one girl before. And we're not at that point of intimacy yet, Ben."

"Are we heading there?"

Cadence turned to look up at me. Her sensual eyes smoldered, clearly inviting. "Like I said. I'm waiting for YOU to make your move."

"So let me get this straight..." Dawn paused to take a sip of her coffee, her eyebrows scrunched up as she collected her thoughts. "Cadence is fine with you sleeping with other girls because you and her haven't reached that point in your relationship."

"Yeah."

"And she says you two haven't reached that point in your relationship because she's waiting for you to make your move."

"Yeah."

"But you haven't made your move because you're not sure you're ready for that kind of commitment."

"Right."

"Huh..." Dawn chewed on that. "Weird."

"What?"

"It's just ... I never thought you'd have been able to think that many jumps ahead when sex was presented to you."

"Huh?"

Dawn smiled. "I love you, Ben, but higher brain functions were not your strong point when an opportunity for sex was in front of you."

"Well, maybe I'm growing up."

She smirked. "Maybe."

"But am I overcomplicating things? I mean, I think she wants some kind of commitment from me before we sleep together. But I'm not sure. I just feel that if I DO sleep with her, then she'll expect me to drop all the others because at that point, we will have reached her 'point of intimacy'."

"Is that a problem?" Dawn arched an eyebrow.

I sighed. "You know me and monogamy..."

My best friend nodded and put her hand over mine. "Then maybe you shouldn't go through with this. If you can't be yourself in a relationship, then you're only setting up the both of you for failure and heartache."

"But I LIKE her," I whined. "What if I can be monogamous?"

"Do you really want to be? Could you really give up Adrienne if she needed you? Could you really resist all the other temptations?"

I winced and looked down at my coffee, untouched for the past ten minutes and getting cold. "I don't know."

Dawn looked pityingly at me and then said, "On the other hand, Cadence is perfectly aware that you've boinked a dozen or so different girls in the past few months. She knows you're not the monogamy-type, and she's still pursuing you anyways. So how do you know she'll want you to be monogamous once you two get serious?"

"I guess I don't. It's just a feeling." I shrugged. "Isn't commitment and monogamy what most girls want?"

Dawn shrugged. "Most. But what was it that Adrienne told you? It takes a unique kind of girl to love you? Maybe Cadence is one of those unique ones who can handle your uniqueness."

"It's just that she just keeps talking about wanting me to want her, which is why she won't ever make the first move to initiate us."

"But didn't you say she asked you out on the date?"

"Well yeah, but then she made me plan it and everything."

"So she'll set you up for the opportunity, but she'll expect you to actually take the initiating action. She'll crack the door open for you, but you've got to walk through it. Make sense?" Dawn raised her eyebrows until I nodded my understanding.

Dawn then continued, "Logically, asking you to want her is just asking for you to be decisive and committed to her. That doesn't necessarily mean she's asking you to be monogamous."

"But she said she doesn't play well with others and I know she's 100% hetero. I'm pretty positive there aren't any threesomes in our future."

Dawn shrugged. "Maybe no threesomes. But that doesn't mean she won't let you have other girls on the side."

"But how will I know?"

Dawn smiled and squeezed my hand. "Only two ways to find out: either you sleep with her, then sleep with someone else, and see how she reacts..."

I grimaced at the thought of Cadence pissed off at me.

" ... Or you TALK to her."

FEBRUARY 14, 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

I awoke with my usual morning hard-on. My eyes were still closed, but I felt her presence before me. As my senses came alive, the fingers of my left hand reflexively squeezed the nicely-formed breast I was currently palming. My left arm snaked beneath her pillow to hold her from the opposite side. My right hand firmed up over her hip, gently holding her in place while I reflexively ground my erection into her panty-covered ass.

Breathing deeply, I let my head roll forward to push my nose into her hair, smelling her sweet fragrance. And I exhaled softly as my body warmed up to make my erotic dreams into reality.

"Good morning, Ben," Paige said sweetly as she realized I was awake.

My eyes popped open and I jerked my head, now waking up completely and realizing the situation I was in. My left hand released her breast and my right pulled off her hip as I rocked my hips away from her ass. "Sorry, sorry," I muttered and suppressed a disappointed groan.

"I wasn't complaining," she said softly. Then she added, "Not like you haven't done it before."

I grimaced and rolled back. Paige wasn't talking about when we were dating last year. She was referring to the past several nights where we'd frequently ended up spooned together in very intimate fashions. So far I'd managed to keep my hands outside of her clothing ... so far...

She turned and smiled at me, looking happier than I'd seen her since we'd been dating. It was as if for the moment, all was right in her world. No drug-withdrawals, no pregnancy, no fears at all. "Do you know what today is?"

I sighed and blinked one eye at a time, trying to get it to focus while stretching my arms to slowly wake up the rest of my body. It took a second, but I eventually got it. "It's Saturday. It's February, uh ... oh, it's Valentine's Day."

"Yeah, and do you know what that means?" she said brightly.

I grimaced and checked the clock. "Yeah, it means I've got a big day with Cadence planned." I sat up and turned off the edge of the bed, rolling my head around to loosen up my neck and shoulders. Then I stood up and looked back to the bed.

Paige looked small and hurt, clutching the blankets to her body and staring forlornly into space.

I sighed and sat back down on the bed, rubbing her back. "Look, I know this would have been our anniversary, Red. I didn't forget. But things just aren't like that anymore, okay?"

She turned to look at me, her lip quivering and her eyes dull and lifeless. "How do I make you love me again?"

Slowly shaking my head, I exhaled and then leaned over to grab her head. She let me pull her toward me so that I could peck her forehead. And then I pushed away and said, "We're friends, okay? I'm here for you."

Paige gave me a weak smile and nodded. Then she pulled her mouth to the side and shrugged. "Can I at least watch you get dressed?"

I snorted. "Like you haven't every other morning." And I turned to fish out my clothes.

"You know, this may be the most romantic thing a guy has ever done for me." Cadence squeezed my hand as we walked up the steps.

"You're not serious," I replied, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Completely serious. I mean, I've told guys I love feeling like a Princess, so there've been flowers and nice views and even a carriage ride. But I never would have thought you'd bring me HERE on Valentine's Day."

I shrugged. "You said once you'd like to meet my friends sometime. This is me telling you I want you to be a part of my life, that I'm not just going to 'do' you and then abandon you. This is me saying that you're much more to me than just another pretty Tri-Delt."

"I know." She smiled sweetly and squeezed my hand again. "That's why it's so romantic."

"Nervous?"

Cadence shook her head. "With you showing me how much you care? Not at all."

We entered into the house and Adrienne was the first to greet us. My blonde bombshell of an adoptive sister hugged her sorority sister warmly and then pecked my cheek. Then she escorted us inside where the rest of my crew was waiting. Ryan was on the couch with Dawn cuddled up next to him. Gwen, Robin, and Paige were chatting. Bert was playing a video game he'd brought over.

I sighed in resignation at the sight of Bert on the game. His and Robin's relationship had been fraying at the edges for the past couple of months, and it seemed that everyone could trace the problems back to that swingers party we'd had in December. Both had experienced sexual pleasure well beyond what they were used to, and their lack of ability to replicate the same highs by themselves had been the source of many a fight since then. And the way Bert was absorbed in the video game while Robin was at the furthest end of the living room from him did not bode well.

But now wasn't the time to worry about them. With my arm around Cadence's waist, I made the introductions. Dayna and Brandi had also come down to meet the new potential girlfriend for the first time. And Cadence quickly went into butterfly mode to enthusiastically talk with everyone.

For a few minutes, I just sat back and watched as things unfolded. Cadence had been something of a mystery personality to me from the very beginning. I hadn't even known her name when she'd first caught my eye in that butterfly-bikini costume at the Halloween party. With her 5'11" height and regal bearing, I'd assumed she would be prissy and aloof, like she was above everyone else. The way she flitted from person to person, chatting with everyone but never settling down onto anyone at that party had seemed to confirm my assumption. I'd never gotten the chance to talk to her that night to find out any more.

Over the next couple of months, after Leighton had put her bounty on me, I'd seen Cadence several times, the both of us exchanging looks of longing and desire without having any serious conversations. She would cruise past me, flash me a look, and then continue on her way, leaving me yearning to find out more about her. I'd assumed she was just being coy or playing hard to get, a strategy to help her win the bounty. But now that I'd gotten to know her, I'd found that she wasn't trying to win at all. She'd given me real looks of interest, but she'd deliberately tried not to engage in the active pursuit of me that the other pledges were conducting.

Only once had she declared her interest by approaching me after that basketball game and offering to wash my back. I still didn't know if it was a serious offer or just a flirtatious comment she never intended to follow through on. In any case, Jocelyn Canilao had arrived with her more blatant pursuit and Cadence had backed away immediately, declaring that she didn't "play well with others". I'd assumed that meant she wasn't into multiple-somes. Maybe she just didn't want to deal with fighting over a guy.

And then there was the End of the Year party. Cadence had approached me directly, flirting quite obviously and playing on the Barbie Girl song to titillate my senses. It seemed we might actually get somewhere before I saw Paige with her black guy and immediately broke things off. I didn't see much of Cadence after that, as she barely approached me for the rest of the night. Bridget had commented about how the girl had been staring at me from afar, but she didn't actually make another move before I left. I can only believe it was because I always had some other girls orbiting around me after that.

Was it like Cadence had said? That it was up to me to show her that I wanted her? And that once I did, she would truly be mine? Or was she really like a butterfly, flitting from place to place enjoying what she could and flying away just as fast from adversity? And even if I committed myself to her, I could lose her again just as fast? I didn't know.

But I wanted to find out.

"They're really nice," Cadence smiled as she rubbed my hand, which was resting on top of the gear shift knob while we drove to the restaurant. To beat the Valentine's rush, I'd made a 4pm reservation.

"Glad you think so."

"Your sister really grilled me, though."

"Huh?"

"You didn't notice?" Cadence glanced over at me. "Brandi's pretty protective of you."

I shrugged. "No, I hadn't noticed."

"You two are really close, aren't you?"

I sighed. "Not so much anymore, actually."

Cadence looked thoughtful. "But she still obviously cares about you."

I smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"Almost as much as Dawn does."

"Hmm?"

"She's your best friend, right? Every time I see you on campus you're with her. How long have you two known each other?"

I smiled. "Since birth. I'm three months older, so all my toys went straight to her as soon as I grew out of them. We were inseparable until my family moved down south when I was ten. Been catching up ever since."

Cadence nodded. "But what's the deal with Paige? I get the impression she doesn't like me very much."

"Huh?"

"She didn't say much to me, just kind of gave me the evil eye."

"Really?" I chuckled, momentarily imagining little Paige coming up with some sort of Catholic curse to put on Cadence, if Catholics had curses like that. Maybe I was thinking Voodoo.

"So were you and her ever ... together?"

"Paige? Yeah, actually. We dated for about a semester last year."

Cadence's eyebrows went up. "Last year? Weren't you with Adrienne all of last year?"

I smiled and arched an eyebrow at the pretty blonde in the passenger seat. "It's complicated."

She looked at me for a few seconds, clearly in thought. I glanced at her once before focusing on the road ahead. Then I glanced back again and found she was still sort of staring at me strangely.

Eventually, she said quietly, "I get the impression that a lot of your relationships with the girls around you are ... complicated."

I blinked and stared straight ahead. It took me a few seconds to answer, "Yes, they are."

"Do I want to know how complicated?"

I thought about that a moment before replying, "I'll answer any question honestly."

Cadence went silent again. I got the distinct impression this was one of those adversity moments for her, when she decided whether she really wanted to face something she might rather not deal with. We had only been dating for a few weeks, and never progressed to physical intimacy. We could still back away from any relationship without getting seriously hurt. And if there was anything she wanted to know about my sordid past and my less-than-solitary nature, she deserved to know it before we got too far.

But in the end, Cadence just sighed and said, "Okay."

We'd arrived at the restaurant.

"Thanks for tonight. I had a great time." Cadence turned and as she did so, stepped right up into my personal space. With her high heels, she was actually a little taller than me. And her green eyes were positively electric as she stared seductively at me.

"I had a great time, too," I replied, feeling the surge of adrenaline inside me. I knew what I wanted to do. We were standing in the hallway outside the freshman girl's dorm room, and I knew with certainty that if I wanted to go into it with her, she would let me.

There was a world of desire in Cadence's eyes, and I let my hands gently come up to her cheeks as I tilted my head. I closed my eyes as I moved in for the kiss I knew the both of us wanted. And my senses were filled with her minty flavor as her lips eagerly parted for my entry.

Kissing we were used to. We'd made out at some point during every single date. I'd even copped a few feels here and there of her ass or tits, though always outside of her clothing. But tonight, on Valentine's, lustful urges spurred me further. And I pressed Cadence up against her own bedroom door, grinding my crotch against hers and scooping my hands beneath her ass, lifting her slightly while our mouths began attacking each other with greater fury.

We broke apart for a second to breathe, and Cadence looked at me expectantly again. There was obvious desire in her eyes, but once again, she wasn't going to ask me if I wanted to come inside. If I waited for an irrefutable invitation from her, I knew I would never get it.

So I kissed her again. And when I pulled away, I stared right into her eyes and stated, "Let's go inside."

Her eyes lit up and she groaned, "Finally!" And then she was quickly rifling through her purse to find her room key.

Cadence was so excited that she couldn't get it into the lock on the first two tries; but eventually she managed to slide it home and twist it. Right as she was opening the door, I attacked her again and we burst into the room like in the movies, our mouths joined and our hands scrambling both over each other's bodies and for the light switches.

The light switch was found, somehow. So was the clasp to her bra, even though she was still in her dark green evening dress. But just as I started to peel the straps off her shoulders, Cadence pushed me away and gasped, "Wait, wait!"

I stopped immediately, my conscience fully attuned to my long-standing self- orders not to push a girl farther than she wanted. But I panted with lust and stared bewildered at her, wondering why she'd made us stop.

Fixing her dress but not bothering to try adjusting her loosened bra, Cadence scrabbled through her desk drawer and came out with a red ribbon. She quickly went to the door and opened it inwards, peering out into the hallway to see if anyone was watching her as she quickly tied the ribbon around the doorknob. It was small enough and unobtrusive enough that a casual passerby wouldn't notice it, but hopefully her roommate Peggy would. And then Cadence quickly shut the door and locked it, spinning around to me and leaning her back against it.

I waited half a second, waiting for her signal. She nodded and I was quickly on her once again, my tongue in her mouth and my hands on her shoulders. This time nothing was going to interfere between me and my goal of getting my dick embedded almost eight inches inside her gorgeous body.

Cadence was in an even bigger hurry than I was. She pulled her mouth off mine and looked down, her hands at my waist to undo my belt and then unsnap my slacks. I stopped groping her long enough to let her finish. And then she yanked both pants and boxers to my ankles while dropping to her knees, my thick cock popping straight into her face. "It's beautiful," she sighed, her moist, hot breath tickling my balls. And without further ado, she opened her mouth wide and sucked me in.

"Ohhh..." I groaned and slid my fingers into her strawberry-blonde hair, running into the barrettes and bobby pins she'd used to hold it up.

Without taking her mouth off my dick, Cadence reached up and pulled the hair clips out herself. When she was done, she dropped them onto the floor beside her and then popped off my cock, shaking her hair out and running her own fingers through it to loosen it up and let the silky tresses cascade around her shoulders. And then inches away from my dick and kneeling before me with her big tits spilling over the top of her dress, the gorgeous 18-year-old turned her electric green bedroom eyes up to look at me.

"I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees..." she sang.

Oh, hell yeah...

Without thinking about it, I reached both hands out and slid my fingers into Cadence's hair again, this time easily moving through it to grip her head and pull her toward my erection. The beautiful young girl obediently parted her lips and inhaled me inside, humming happily as my meat filled her mouth. "Mmm..."

She was good. She was really good. And not for the first time I found myself trying to figure out what this girl was all about. In hindsight, Cadence had not been very aggressive in pursuing me, just flirting around the edges and moving away, tempting me into pursuing her. If I hadn't been so distracted by the other pledges coming straight for me, I certainly would have gone after her. Then, once we started dating, she'd been coy and shy and we hadn't done anything remotely sexual for weeks, an eternity for me.

And yet Cadence blew me like a pro. With her style of seduction, I didn't think she was the type to be with a lot of different guys. So either she was a natural talent ... or she'd had a few very good teachers.

In fact, she almost had me at the brink of orgasm already. After weeks of dating her but not fucking her, and not getting nearly enough sex elsewhere, either, I was pretty backed up and quite eager for this first ejaculation. But this wasn't how I wanted to do it just yet.

"Cadence," I moaned. "Cadence, stop." I suited words to action by prying her head back and away from my prick.

She whimpered and then pulled off, flashing those seductive green eyes up at me from her kneeling position. "Aww, but I want to taste you."

"And you will if you want. I promise."

"But the girls all said you could go for hours."

"And we will if you want." I grinned broadly. "I promise."

So we did.

Because of the 4pm dinner time, Cadence and I had returned to her dorm room relatively early in the evening. And yet we still managed to keep fucking until the wee hours of the morning.

At first, I worried about her roommate being left outside. But Cadence assured met that she had a steady boyfriend and most likely wouldn't be returning home until morning on this Valentine's evening. The ribbon was just in case.

And yet with all the time in the world, Cadence and I couldn't even wait long enough to get our clothes off. After stopping her blowjob, I scooped up the tall blonde and carried her easily over to her bed. After laying her down, I simply pushed the hem of her dress up to her waist and yanked her thong panties down, revealing a pretty pink pussy with a neatly trimmed patch of hair that matched the strawberry-blonde on her head. And I quickly dived into her muff to thank her for the excellent fellatio.

But like me, Cadence didn't want her first orgasm with me to be oral. As she approached her climax, she urgently tugged on my shoulders and pleaded, "In me! I need you IN me!"

I was so wound up, I didn't argue and swiftly moved up her body, notching my cockhead in her folds while she grabbed onto her own stiletto heels and pulled her legs to the sides. And then with a good grip on her waist, I stared into Cadence's brilliant green eyes and lunged forward, skewering her tight cunt on my rampant prick with a single thrust.

"AAAAHHHH!!!" Cadence threw her head back and screamed at the penetration. Her whole body tensed up as she absorbed the suddenly-filled sensation, but she recovered quickly as she crossed her heels behind my back and started humping her pelvis against mine.

I dropped my chest down onto hers, bracing myself on my elbows as I concentrated on my own thrusts as well. Cadence's hands encircled my neck and pulled me to her face. We mashed our lips together and moaned heatedly into each other's mouths while our loins met and retreated and then met again. Her arms flexed and relaxed along with her legs, using all four limbs to tug my body against hers while I pistoned in and out of her clenching cunt. And then faster than either of us would have expected, she was calling out her orgasm.

"Oh, SHIT! Fucking-mother-SHIT!" Cadence cursed. "I'm cumming already! I'm cumming already!"

I found myself surprised to hear the swear words coming out of her mouth. Cadence seemed like such a dainty, proper butterfly in so many ways that it was truly weird to hear her cursing. In fact, it wasn't so different from listening to Paige spewing sacrilegious blasphemies instead of her usual "oh, poo"; and it was just as arousing.

So I grinned at the sound of Cadence's melodious voice as she continued growling, "Motherfucking FUCK me you fucking bastard! Oh, shit! Harder! Fucking harder! I'm fucking cumming AGAIN!"

Her tight body clamped down around me for the second time, forcing me to put more power into my hips just to maintain my pace driving in and out of her clenching cunt. The heel tips of her stilettos were digging into my back as she drummed her feet against my spine, and seeking to edge away from the discomfort I arched my back and hammered her even harder.

"FUUUCK! FUCKING FUCK!" Cadence screamed. She'd rolled her hips back and upwards so that my face was actually a couple of inches below hers. Her hands tightened around my neck and clutched my face down against her chest. And when I found that I didn't want the feel of fabric against my cheek, I pulled the straps of her dress off her shoulders along with her already loosened bra, shoving the material down to her waist so that I could feast my mouth on her swollen pink nipples.

"FUUUCK! Fucking suck my nipples! Suck my tits! Bite them! Lick them! Make me cum again!!!"

I groaned and went to work, fucking on pure instinct by this point. Fucking Cadence was unlike any other sexual encounter of recent memory. I was used to being in total control of myself, taking the time to undress a girl and explore her erogenous zones to best figure out how to pleasure her body.

Not this time. We hadn't undressed — Cadence was still wearing every article of clothing. Her dark green evening dress was still bunched around her waist. Her high-heels were still on her feet. And even her underwear was still attached. I'd only gotten one strap of her bra off, the other still around her right shoulder. And even her thong panties had gotten stuck around one of her heels. As for me, my slacks and shorts were around my ankles, trapped on my own shoes and restricting my movement. I was still wearing my shirt, only naked from waist to shins as I plunged my cock into Cadence's body with a manic intensity.

And I hadn't needed to really figure out Cadence's erogenous zones. She'd been a walking orgasm from the moment I slotted my cock into her cunt, and already she'd come three times from our unrestrained fucking. I'd like to think I picked up a few things just out of habit, but for now, my brain wasn't part of my sexual process. I just rammed her as hard and as fast and as long as I could. And when she tensed up with her fourth orgasm, I joined her as well.

"Fuck me!" Cadence screamed. "Fuck me like a slutty whore! Pound me! Fucking POUND me! Harder! Oh, fucking God! I'm cumming again! I'm cumming again! FUUUUUCK!!!" Her hips kicked off the bed for a moment, sending us into the air as I felt her inner muscles spasm against my invading prick one final time.

"Uggghhh!!!" I grunted as I felt the tension in my pelvic region suddenly evaporate. And then I sighed with relief as I felt myself ejecting blast after blast of hot cum into her sucking pussy.

"Fill me! Fill up my slutty cunt with your hot jizz!" Cadence warbled while gripping my head against her big tits so tightly that I thought she'd pull some of my hair out. "CUM IN MEEEE!!!"

I answered her with another strong shot of semen to splash against her inner walls. And our two bodies bucked and twitched and trembled amongst her sheets as we quaked through the aftershocks of orgasm.

When I was done shooting, I lay my head back down into the valley of her cleavage, idly kissing a mountainous breast in front of me. Cadence stroked my hair and hummed happily, exclaiming, "FUCK that was great! Why the FUCK did you wait so FUCKING long to fuck me?"

I sighed and lifted my head up, scooting further up the bed to drive my cock a little deeper into her snatch. Despite having just cum, I was so wound up from lack of sufficient sex for the past month that I was still pretty hard. And within the confines of her tight, wet pussy, I could feel myself firming up for a second round already. Stroking slightly so that she could feel me still hard inside her, I sighed and touched her cheek. "Sorry, babe. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

She grinned and kissed me, sliding her fingers into my hair again. "Mmm, you'd better. But all the girls kept talking about passing out with your big cock up their ass.. I want you to do THAT to me next!"

84 The Butterfly and the Bee IIl

FEBRUARY 15, 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

As I previously said, Cadence and I managed to keep fucking until the wee hours of the morning. We went four rounds, the first time I'd done so with a solo girl in a looong time.

She did pass out with my cock spurting jizz up her ass for the second round. I dozed with her for a couple of hours until she stirred awake; and we slipped into the shower after that. Fortunately, her dorm was one of those with an attached bathroom shared between two neighboring rooms instead of one of those with a big hallway bathroom.

The third round completed the trifecta and fulfilled my promise to let Cadence taste my spending. I fucked her doggy-style over her desk and right before my ejaculation, she spun around and begged on her knees for my cum until I blasted off in her face and then into her mouth.

Cadence sucked me to one final erection before pushing me onto the desk chair and then straddling me. We took the time to chat a little more calmly, my face against her big D-cup tits while she undulated up and down my shaft. We fucked like that for almost thirty minutes, when I finally gripped her hips and yanked her down around my erupting cock while we kissed with a furious passion.

And with my last load still swimming around her pussy, we crawled into her bed naked and finally went to sleep.

It was after 10am on Sunday morning when I got back to the house. It probably would have been later if Cadence's roommate Peggy hadn't returned to the room and accidentally woken us up.

The embarrassed girl apologized that she'd seen the ribbon but thought I'd already be gone by now. And then she said she'd wait in the lounge until I could get dressed. For a minute, Cadence and I contemplated whether or not we could get away with a quickie. But then I reasoned that we could hope for future encounters and we didn't need to piss off her roommate. So I dressed, kissed my new girlfriend, and left the room, feeling satiated and quite content.

Unfortunately, that feeling of contented happiness only lasted until I got back to the house. That's because when I walked into my bedroom, I found that it was already occupied.

Although I probably should have known, I wasn't expecting to see Paige in my bed. I'd already kicked off my shoes and started stripping out of last night's clothes when I saw the dark auburn head lift up from my pillow. Paige was already awake, given that it was after 10am. And from the streaks on her cheeks, it looked like she had been crying.

And now, as those dark blue eyes fixed on me, a fresh storm brewed behind her irises. She took in my rumpled appearance: mussed hair, little bit of chin fuzz, and dress clothes from the previous evening. I observed in slow motion as the frown pulled at her cheeks and the corners of her eyes tilted downwards. Helpless, I could only watch as the look of utter devastation spread across her face. And then the small, saddened girl broke into a fresh round of bawling her eyes out.

My heart went out to Paige and I quickly advanced on the bed, sitting down and reaching out to her, pulling her to me for a comforting hug. But she was pressed against my chest for only a second before pushing me away and whimpering, "No! No!"

"What?"

"You smell like her," Paige moaned, looking at me as if I'd committed the ultimate betrayal. "You smell like sex."

I rubbed my forehead for a second, wondering what I was going to do. Clearly, the situation was untenable. I couldn't be happy in my relationship with Cadence with Paige mourning over me in my own bed every night. And as much as I wanted to help the pregnant girl, I couldn't let Paige's presence ruin the way I wanted to live my life.

Already we'd spent a month of her practically living in my room even though we weren't together. Her belly was just getting bigger with each passing week and that wasn't a problem likely to go away anytime soon. We hadn't talked much about what Paige was actually going to DO with her situation. She'd simply started crying every time she started to really think about it; and I'd been forced to just hold her and comfort her until she calmed down.

But Paige couldn't keep her head in the sand forever. That baby was growing; and continuing on with her life as if it wasn't on its way wouldn't help anybody. She would have to face reality. She would have to come to grips with her pregnancy and really decide what she was going to do with her life. And she was going to have to accept that I was dating another girl.

But I wasn't going to drop all that on her right this second. Paige was still sobbing her heart out that I'd spent the night with Cadence and not spooning with her. So I pulled away and off the bed, jerking my thumb out the door. "I'm going to go take a shower and get changed. And when I come back, we're going to talk, okay?"

Bleary-eyed, Paige bit her lip and whimpered, still crying in abject sorrow. But I sternly held my gaze on her until she nodded. And then I turned and went out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked back in with my towel around my waist. I noticed that Paige had stopped crying by now and was just watching me dispassionately. I figured it might even cheer her up to watch me get dressed, so I went ahead and let the towel puddle to the floor as I bent and started pulling my clothes out of the dresser. Boxer shorts, jeans, and a comfortable polo shirt went on. And I briefly checked in the mirror to run my fingers through my slightly-damp hair, mussing it just right before I turned and hopped back onto the bed.

Like I'd hoped, Paige didn't look so unhappy after watching me get dressed. There was even a naughty little smile as she glanced at my crotch, remembering the recent view. But she started to look nervous at the serious expression on my face.

"We need to talk, Paige," I intoned. "We're going to talk about your pregnancy, and really figure out what you're going to do. I'm here for support, and I promise I always will be. But ultimately it's your decision, understand?"

She took a deep breath, her lip quivering as she appeared on the verge of another breakdown. But she exhaled slowly and nodded.

I reached forward and took Paige's hands, squeezing them reassuringly. "Then we're going to talk about my relationship with Cadence. You and I are still friends; but she's my girlfriend now, okay?"

Paige whimpered and winced, but nodded again.

Still holding Paige's hands, we began.

"So how are things with the new girlfriend?" Dawn squeezed my hand as we walked together to our first class of the day. Today she was in her typical navy blue Cal baseball cap with her sunny blonde hair braided into the DJ-style pigtails. Her familiar zip-up hoodie and tight jeans finished her everyday college girl look. "You didn't come by the apartment yesterday."

I smiled and blushed. "We got a little sidetracked."

"I'll bet." Dawn grinned knowingly. "But what I meant was: Is she making you happy?"

I arched an eyebrow and glanced over at my best friend. "Hmm?"

"I'm serious. Is Cadence making you happy? It's been almost two weeks since Valentine's. And more than five weeks since your first date. I want to know if this new girl is making my best friend happy."

"Yeah," I nodded and smiled. "Things are great."

"Do tell..."

"She's really sweet and bubbly and so much fun to be around. When we're together, she's such a ... well, a Princess. It's kind of fun treating her like one. She's into chivalry and all these romantic flourishes like holding doors and pulling out her chair. It was even worth the cost of dry cleaning to lay my coat down over a puddle, she was so happy. And it makes me feel like a Prince when I'm around her."

Dawn giggled. "Strokes your male ego a bit, doesn't it? Feeling like the handsome white knight?"

"You know me."

Dawn nodded. "So when are you going to bring her by the apartment after classes to hang out with us?"

"Oh, I don't know if we'll ever get like that." I shrugged. "She has her own friends and does her own thing most of the time. We just try to get together every other day or so, maybe spend the night together."

"And how's Paige taking those overnights?"

I sighed. "Not well. But she's accepted them. Actually, Paige has taken to sleeping in Adrienne's room rather than in the big, empty living room where she feels all alone."

Dawn arched an eyebrow. "And how's Adrienne taking that?"

I shrugged. "Doesn't seem to mind. She looks at Paige like a little sister. Most of the time they're not even fooling around. Paige just wants a comforting hug and Adrienne's too tired from juggling so many different things. Felicia called me and gushed about how Adrienne's modeling career really seems to be taking off. She thinks Adrienne has what it takes to jump from commercial modeling to being a real "image" model, whatever that means."

Dawn nodded. "Does that mean Adrienne's been too busy to miss you?"

I blushed. "Not entirely. Adrienne and I DID get together a couple of days ago. It was more for her to blow off steam than the other way around. But believe me, Cadence and I are pretty spectacular in the sex department and she keeps me well satisfied."

Dawn chuckled. "Not surprised. I don't think you've ever NOT been spectacular in the sex department. With anyone."

I grinned but sighed. "Maybe. But you know? Oddly enough, I feel like I'm missing out on the intimacy department."

"Hmm?" Dawn arched her eyebrow curiously.

"Well, take this for example." I held up my hand where Dawn had been holding me ever since I met her at her apartment. "Cadence almost never holds my hand. She just feels freer walking on her own, sometimes even skipping a bit."

"Really?"

I nodded. "I told you I always thought of her as a butterfly. She still is: sweet and pretty and yet aloof and flighty. She's not really a PDA person. She doesn't want to kiss me in public or hug me or anything. I might get a peck on the cheek; but that's it. It's not her style. Well, unless we're around the sorority. Then she's all over me, showing off that she's taken possession of the old sorority cock. Especially around Jocelyn. Joss doesn't seem to mind that I'm taken now, but Cadence seems to want to rub it in her face."

"Don't go off on a tangent, Ben," Dawn warned. "You were complaining about a lack of intimacy."

I shrugged. "I dunno. I just got spoiled by you and Adrienne and Paige, I guess. You never left me wanting for hugs or little, tender caresses. It isn't Cadence's thing. And even in the sex department, we're not all that tender or affectionate. I never told you this before, but while Cadence is all sweet and prim and even a little snooty in public, she turns into the most degraded, filthy, trash-talking slut in the bedroom."

"Really?" Dawn turned and grinned at me. "Okay, gimme details."

Old Ben habits reared to the surface. "You know I'm not the kind of guy to talk."

Dawn pouted and flashed her own puppy-dog eyes at me. "But Ben ... this is me..."

She had a point. I chuckled and nodded, explaining, "Every other word out of her mouth is a swear word while we're fucking. And she's pretty nasty in general. She'll fuck on any surface in the room. She's really flexible and will let me bend her into any pretzel position I can think of. She can even tuck her own legs behind her own shoulders. Imagine THAT."

Dawn's eyes went wide as the image popped into her mind.

Still shaking my head in disbelief, I continued. "She really gets into ass-to-mouth. And," I paused and blushed. "Uh, yesterday, she jacked me off until I spooged onto a bagel; and then she ate it right in front of me."

Dawn's eyebrows shot way up and she couldn't help but smile and shake her head in mild disbelief. "Kinky ... Would never have thought that to look at her..."

I shook my head too. "Me, neither. Caught me totally by surprise after we'd gone through so many dates without even getting past first base. She wants to be a Royal Princess in public, with all the chivalrous opening doors and bringing her flowers at every date. And she even got me to sing 'Once Upon A Dream' to her."

Dawn cracked up. "Don't tell Adrienne about that one. I thought she staked claim to Sleeping Beauty."

I smiled and continued, "Cadence is a Princess in public and a wanton slut behind closed doors. She's even re-played 'Barbie Girl' on my computer, urging me to just take her and use her. THAT was a pretty wild four minutes."

"Lady in the street and a freak in the bed: sounds perfect." Dawn grinned.

I sighed forlornly. "Still, I miss those affectionate little caresses. And Cadence and I really don't talk much, not seriously. She loves to chatter but she keeps flitting from one topic to the next. And..." I exhaled. "I dunno ... I just don't feel as close to her as I want to be."

"Why not?"

"Well for one, it seems like we never make love. Everything is wild, crazy, monkey sex."

"So?"

"So..." I sighed. "I dunno. I thought I wanted to get back into a relationship because I missed the intimacy. YOU said I needed intimacy. If all I wanted was crazy-monkey-sex, I would have stayed single and kept banging Tri-Delts."

"So you're NOT happy," Dawn sighed, squeezing my hand.

I frowned and stopped walking. "Wait, I didn't say THAT."

"Seems like you just did."

"No, no. I'm blowing this all out of proportion. You asked me to hash out all the things that are missing so far, and it seems worse than it really is. Cadence and I are fine; we just have things to work on, that's all. It's still really early in the relationship, and these things always take a little time to go from lustful fucking to making love. Seriously, I know I can't expect to feel as close to her as I do to you or Adrienne or to anyone else I've been friends with for years."

Dawn nodded in understanding. "Okay ... If you say so ... Just keep in mind what you want to get out of this relationship, and make sure you and she are on the same page." She sighed and then looked off, muttering a little more quietly, "Because if the two of you don't agree on where things are going, then the relationship is just doomed to fail."

MARCH 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"Holy fucking SHIT..." Cadence groaned, arching her back and holding her spine tense until my cock slid the final inch into her rectum, my thighs pressing firmly against her buttcheeks. Cadence had a gorgeous body to begin with. But bending her 5'11" frame over on all fours, naked, with a heart-shaped ass wiggling in my face and her big tits swaying gently, she was positively heart- stopping. I'd been on her from the instant she'd moaned, "Come sodomize your Barbie girl."

"Whewww..." I exhaled, still gripping her big tits tightly in this doggy position, my chest resting against her back as we both absorbed the sensations emanating from our loins.

"You're fucking bigger than anyone I've ever been with," Cadence moaned. "It always feels like you're shoving a fucking baseball bat up my ass."

"And you're still so fucking tight," I gasped heatedly. And then re-setting my grip on her tits, I pulled back and began the slow pumping of our assfuck.

The beautiful strawberry-blonde babe hung her head down and rocked her entire body with each thrust, groaning gutturally and dropping four-letter curse words every other second. Eventually, she wanted to change positions and flopped onto her back, kicking her legs into the air in a big 'V' while inviting me forward. She took me in her hands and guided me back up her ass. She then hooked her legs over my shoulders and encouraged me to resume pounding her. And while I gripped her legs as leverage to saw my cock in and out of her stretched anus, she palmed her own big, round tits, getting them wet with her own pussy juices and then lifting the nipples so she could suck on them herself.

"FUCKKK!" she grunted after another few minutes of pounding. "I'm cumming! I'm fucking cumming with your cock up my ass!"

"Hrrkkk!" I grunted myself, ramming the short, rapid thrusts of my final countdown.

"Cum in me, baby! Slam that gorgeous dick up my slutty asshole and cum deep inside my nasty ass! I got something especially dirty for you today. Fill me up good! Fucking fill my ass with your sperm! Fill me! FILL ME! AAAUUGHH!!!"

I grunted and slammed forward hard enough to bend her legs back, her knees hitting her own shoulders as I folded my girlfriend beneath me and began spewing my load into her bowels. My whole body shuddered from the exertion and I actually drooled a bit onto Cadence's tits while panting for air. And I felt the exquisite pleasure of my cum rocketing up my shaft to explode into the nether depths of this gorgeous Freshman teenager's body.

"Ohhh, fuck!" Cadence grunted and clamped her sphincter down around my cock's base, trapping it inside as she rode out the final tremors of her own orgasm. Her hips twitched spasmodically, her eyes closed. But eventually, she came to rest and then — displaying remarkable flexibility — she dropped her feet to either side of me, doing a full side-split with my slowly-shrinking dick still lodged in her rectum.

And then before I could catch my breath, Cadence pushed me off her and said, "Quick, hand me the cup of coffee."

"Huh?" I looked at her in confusion. My girlfriend had spent last night in my room, falling asleep together after another round of crazy-monkey sex. We'd awoken this morning and I'd fetched us each a cup of coffee while we sat up and chatted in bed. But the coffee was long-forgotten once Cadence started getting frisky and murmuring in my ear about how she wanted me to fuck her ass since we hadn't gotten around to it for a couple of days.

Now, my slightly crazy girlfriend pointed urgently at her coffee mug on the nightstand while keeping her hips rolled back and her legs spread to the sides. And then once I handed it to her, Cadence got an impish gleam in her brilliant green eyes as she shifted to the edge of the bed and parked her ass over it, reaching down with the half-full coffee mug and holding it directly beneath her lewdly stretched anus.

It didn't take long. I watched in stunned disbelief as creamy globs of semen started plopping out of her asshole, splashing down into the coffee mug. I looked into Cadence's eyes, seeing that self-satisfied twinkle in her eyes as she continued to clench her kegel muscles and squeeze more of my jism out of her own ass and into the mug. And when she figured she was done, she pulled the coffee up to her lips and took a healthy swig.

I wasn't sure whether to feel disgusted or aroused. Yeah, she'd jacked me off onto a bagel that one time — and onto her salad another time — but those had been semen straight from the source. THIS one had come out of her own ass.

But my dick and dirty brain knew how to react. I looked down just as Cadence was finishing the last of her lukewarm coffee and noticed that I was rock hard. And when Cadence put down the mug, she noticed as well.

"Yum," she hummed. "That looks tasty, too."

Ten minutes later, my slutty, freaky girlfriend drank down a second load of cum, this one straight out of my dick.

Ten minutes after that, she was wearing one of my T-shirts and heading out the door to go into the bathroom, makeup kit in hand.

"Morning, A.D.," she said brightly as she went in.

"Morning, Cadence," Adrienne replied, letting her eyes yo-yo for a second up and down my girlfriend's stacked body. Then she turned and looked out the door to me, where I was leaning against the doorjamb of my bedroom. Adrienne's eyebrows went up as she smiled enigmatically at me.

I smiled back and then watched Cadence doll herself up with perfect makeup and expertly-styled hair. Thirty minutes later, she walked out of my bedroom dressed neatly in stylish clothes, looking for all the world like she'd just stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine.

Yep, lady in the street ... and an absolute freak in the bed.

"Do you want to meet up later?" I reached over to run my hand along Cadence's waist as we hit the sidewalk and turned toward campus. On mornings when my girlfriend slept over, I would walk her to her first class and then rendezvous with Dawn later.

She felt my touch and skipped away, giving me a Cheshire smile once she was at a safer distance. She still didn't really like me holding onto her. Heck, she didn't really like spooning at night, either, complaining that she couldn't sleep well with her movement restricted. "Ah, can we meet up again some other time? There're some other things I want to take care of this afternoon."

"Okay, okay. Sure."

"Besides, I thought you were taking Paige to her doctor's today."

I nodded. "I am. I just meant after that. Maybe grab dinner or something."

Cadence gave me that little smile again. "We JUST spent last night together, baby."

"I know, I know," I nodded, knowing better than to push things. Cadence still viewed our relationship as casually dating, not a serious commitment to spend all our time together just yet. She had her own things and her own routines. I supposed I should have been happy she made as much time for me as she did.

But I couldn't help pouting momentarily and my beautiful girlfriend flitted right back to me, putting her hand to my cheek and giving me a quick peck on the lips. And then there was another one on my cheek. And then another on my forehead. I brightened immediately while she twirled away and then flashed me another radiant smile with both her eyes and her lips.

As long as she kept giving me those butterfly kisses, I could wait to let the relationship mature.

Paige was quiet when we got back to into the car after her pre-natal visit. She sat in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead like a zombie instead of putting on her seatbelt.

Realizing that she wasn't quite ready, I didn't even slot the key into the ignition. Instead, I turned to face the shell-shocked young girl. "You okay, Red?"

She bit her lip and her head tilted downward ever so slightly. Her hands came up and over her belly, now pronounced noticeably outwards as she was in her thirteenth week. "It's really real."

My eyebrows furrowed for a second as I tried to deduce what she meant. "The baby?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Because we heard the heartbeat for the first time?"

She nodded again.

I sighed and thought back to the rapid, pulsing sound. It almost didn't sound human it was so fast and so faint. I had to admit to myself that it was really real. I reached a hand over and put it on hers. "Are you going to be able to deal with this?"

Paige shuddered and hung her head lower. "I don't know," she answered in a quiet voice.

Taking a deep breath, I squeezed her hand and said seriously, "Paige, I know we've talked about this before, and it IS getting a little late, but it's not TOO late. You still have time-"

"I WON'T kill my baby!" she barked harshly and glared at me.

"Okay, okay." I squeezed her hand. "But now it's seriously decision time. There's no hiding the bump anymore. Everyone's already guessed that you're pregnant. Half the people we know still think I'm the father."

She sighed and looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I never meant to put this on you."

"Hey, it's no problem. I know I can trust the people who are important to me." I sighed. "But we need to start planning for the future. How are you going to tell your parents? When are you going to tell them? How is this going to affect your schoolwork? Your due date is early September. I don't think you're going to be able to go to classes next semester. And if you do want to return to school, who is going to take care of the baby? You seriously need to start working this out."

Paige just started crying then, rubbing her belly and grimacing as if in unimaginable pain. "I just don't know what to do!" she whimpered.

"I know, I know." I squeezed her hand soothingly. "No one is expecting you to. You're only nineteen."

"Tell me what to do!" she pleaded, with big blue eyes turned up to me.

I sighed. "I'm only nineteen."

We both went quiet for a long while, just staring out at nothing, trying to come to grips with the situation. I'm sure Paige had it worse, a baby three months old growing inside of her. But I found myself trying to figure out how to help her when I could barely handle the dramas of my own life without significant help.

I took a deep breath and then looked over at the scared, young girl. "Paige, I think it's time you told your parents."

"C'mon, Cadence," I practically pleaded. I was leaving her dorm room for the night so we could let her roommate back in. I would go home and sleep in my own bed instead of staying overnight with her. Despite the privacy of me having my own room, I'd found that we were having sex more and more often at her place, ostensibly because it was more convenient for her. Really, I think she just liked the excuse so that she wouldn't have to share a bed overnight.

And now that I was leaving, I was trying to figure out when I would get to see her the next time. "Sunday's our anniversary."

"Of what?"

"Uh, one month. You know, February 14 ... March 14..."

The pretty girl snorted. "So the one-month anniversary of the first night we fucked?"

"Well," I blushed. "I sort of thought of it as the day we became boyfriend/girlfriend..."

She raised her eyebrows and put on a look of mock annoyance, planting her fists against her hips. "And what was I before I put out? Just another prospect?"

"What? No. I didn't mean it like that," I stammered defensively. Then I took a big, deep breath to calm myself and look plainly at her. "Fine, what date do YOU make as our anniversary?"

Cadence shrugged, the mock annoyance gone. "I don't know. I never really paid much attention to anniversaries."

"I thought all girls kept track of that stuff."

"Guess I'm not like those girls," she smiled wryly.

"Maybe not," I smiled back. "But seriously, when will you want me to plan some grand date for our one-year anniversary? I'll treat you like a princess, with a pumpkin carriage and glass slippers."

Cadence giggled at the thought. "With magically-transformed mice into horses?"

"Absolutely. I promise." I grinned, crossing my fingers in front of me.

She giggled again and then sighed. "Oh, I don't know, Ben. To be perfectly honest, I never really thought about us still being together a year from now."

My eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

She blinked in confusion, noticing the hurt in my voice. "What? We're having fun, right? Were YOU seriously thinking about being together a year from now?"

"Well, the thought had crossed my mind," I barked, the hurt tone still in my voice.

"You? Mister Playboy? A year?"

"I'm more than just a playboy. I'm serious about YOU!" I protested.

"Okay, okay," Cadence held her hands up and averted her gaze, clearly not wanting to get into an argument. Actually, we NEVER got into an argument. We never had; not even once. It takes two to argue and she simply refused to do it. "I'll think about it, okay?"

I sighed and tried to pull the anger out of my voice. "Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's alright. Anyways, I can't this Sunday, anniversary or not. The sorority is having that charity fundraiser for St. Jude's. Didn't Adrienne tell you?"

I shook my head. "She's been gone this whole week for some new gig."

Cadence frowned. "I wonder if she'll even be there on Sunday. The officers have been talking about how many events she's already missed."

I sighed and nodded.

Cadence then stepped up to me, held my face in her hands, and gave me a slow, loving kiss. I enjoyed the simple pleasure and hummed happily. And when I pulled back, she fixed those brilliant green eyes on me and looked upon me adoringly. "Monday. I promise. Okay?"

I smiled and nodded. "Okay."

It was late on Saturday night when my bedroom door opened. I'd been sitting up in bed, just casually waiting for Paige to return and snuggle up with me. At the moment, she was upstairs talking with Brandi. Sometimes the girl just needed to talk out her problems; and if nothing else, my older sister was a fantastic listener.

Anyways, I was surprised to see Adrienne slump against the doorknob, looking drop-dead gorgeous and completely exhausted at the same time. She was wearing a red dress that simply melted around her body, a one-shoulder piece that draped down from the left across her tits before attaching to the back along her right side. Her massive right breast was nearly exposed and I had no idea how it was held in position, probably the infamous modeling tape I'd heard about. And the silky dress must have had some sort of internal support structure — there was simply no other way to contain her 34Gs.

I whistled appreciatively. "Wow. You definitely didn't own that when we were dating."

Adrienne smiled tiredly and sauntered in. I scooted across the bed to make room for her as she sat down beside me and leaned back against the headboard. "Perks of the job. Every now and again I get to keep the clothes."

"Might as well let you." I smirked. "I don't imagine there are many people on the planet with the figure to pull that one off anyways."

Adrienne flashed me a proud smile and then put her hand to her forehead.

"Rough night?" I asked.

"It was alright, I guess," Adrienne sighed. "Party downtown."

I nodded. It wasn't the first. "I'm surprised you're home. Don't you normally crash with Felicia on a night like this?"

Adrienne sighed. "Usually. But I didn't feel like staying. Party was getting out of hand and I realized I needed to get out of there."

"Why?"

"Oh, the usual. It starts off fun, with expensive champagne and lots of music and a TON of attention." The stunningly gorgeous blonde turned to me with her elbow on an upraised knee, putting her forehead against her open palm. She flashed me a big smile and said, ""You know me and attention."

I grinned. I remembered the thrilled looks on Adrienne's face at every dance or party we ever went to. She admitted she'd often craved the attention as a way of filling the emptiness inside her, and had needed it less ever since she started getting the love and support of my family and her friends. But she still enjoyed these parties just for the sake of being the center of attention.

Adrienne continued. "But like always, it devolves into slimy photographers and producers trying to get me drunk or drugged so they can sleep with me. Usually I can handle it and keep away, but there seemed to be extra pressure on me tonight. This one guy, Lucien, just wouldn't take a hint. And when the snow bunnies went to work, I decided to just get out of there. I caught a cab back to Felicia's place, picked up the Mustang, and came home."

I arched an eyebrow. "Snow bunnies?"

Adrienne sighed. "Models and cocaine."

"Ah."

She shrugged like it was an every day occurrence. "Guys are all the same. You know every single guy at that party had either a photographer's card or producer's card. For all I know the guy's actually an unemployed waiter, but he carries producer's cards so he can try and work the same spiel. 'Hey baby, if you sleep with me I can get you a great gig!' Adrienne chuckled, but it was a weary laugh that started to edge towards crying at the end.

"Hey, hey..." I soothed, pulling her to me and wrapping my arm around Adrienne's shoulders. "It's alright. It's alright."

She sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I mean: is this what I really want? It's fun and all. I love the shoots and I love the clothes and I love feeling so ... so ... beautiful."

"You ARE."

"But I don't know if I can handle all of this other shit. I mean, if I really have to start fucking people to make a career of this, then I say FUCK modeling. I've got other things I can do with my life."

"You can, you can," I soothed. "Lookit me. I'm just a student."

Adrienne sighed. "You're a GOOD student. You're a shoo-in for that Undergraduate Business Program you've been gunning for. I'm just barely getting by."

"It's not that bad."

"Yes, it is." Adrienne tilted her head into the crook of my neck. "I can't keep this up, Tiger. I can't deal with this modeling thing AND school."

"And the sorority," I added. "Cadence told me about the fundraiser."

"Oh, shit," Adrienne smacked her head. "I totally forgot," she whined, sounding even worse than before.

"Sorry," I mumbled. That hadn't been the best time to remind her, and now I'd undone my work of the last few minutes trying to calm her down.

"I don't know how Felicia did it, juggling her career and UCLA at the same time," Adrienne sighed.

"I do. Felicia didn't work nearly as much as you do," I sighed, remembering my old conversations with the beautiful, older brunette. "She didn't go full-time until after she graduated. You seem to be gone a lot more than that."

"The jobs keep coming," Adrienne sighed. "It's great money."

"You don't need the money," I encouraged.

"But I LIKE it!" she whined and then snuggled into me a little deeper.

I didn't answer, except to pat her arm gently. On impulse, I turned and kissed the side of her head.

She sighed contentedly and then pushed her face into my neck. I glanced down at her to see her looking up at me with those big hazel eyes. And then a little smile crossed her face. "Hi, Tiger," she said as if she'd just come into the room.

I arched an eyebrow. "Uh, hi, A.D."

Reaching over with one hand, she started walking her fingers up my chest until she hooked the fingertips into the collar of my T-shirt. Biting her lip, she glanced at my chest before looking up at me again. And she said, "You know the stupid thing?"

"What?"

"I actually get turned on by those slimy producers," she exhaled. Her eyes went to my chest again before flicking upwards. "They look at me with such ... intensity. I can see them undressing me with their eyes and it gives me such a ... a... power rush. It's like I'm back on the football field in a skimpy cheerleading outfit, thinking about the hundreds of people in the stands wishing they could fuck me. You know what I mean?"

I grinned wryly. "Uh, nope. I don't know what you mean."

Adrienne giggled and then sat up straight, looking at me from a foot away. "I'm not attracted to those producer guys in the slightest. Having them look at me arouses me, but the only people I want to fuck at those parties are the other models. I have, sometimes. A lot of those girls swing both ways."

I noticed a new tightness in my pajama pants, imagining Adrienne in a dress like this red one, seducing some of the most beautiful women in the world.

I wasn't the only one to notice. Adrienne smiled enigmatically as she moved her right hand down and brushed over my bulge. "I'm horny now, Tiger. I've been horny all night. I wouldn't trust myself with those people, but I trust you. I need you," she husked. "Can you help me tonight?"

I smiled as her hand slipped beneath my waistband, her fingers circling around Big Ben. I leaned in and pecked her lips before pulling back and saying sincerely, "Forever and always."

As gorgeous as Adrienne looked in that red dress, I couldn't wait to peel it off of her. I was right about the tape. Without that invisible adhesion, her right boob would have fallen out a long time ago. As it was, I was the only one to get to see her naked breasts in all their glory tonight, as well as get my hands on them.

We were in no hurry. I found the side-zipper and then pulled the single strap off her shoulder, dropping the upper-half of her dress to her waist. I slid my hands up to cup her massive melons. And then she molded herself against me, seeking out my lips for our trademark slow-burn kiss.

That set the tone. We simply kissed for a long while, rolling around my bed mashing our lips and caressing each other's bodies. She pulled my T-shirt off so we could feel our chests pressed together. And our tongues delved into every possible square millimeter of each other's mouth.

But eventually, Adrienne gave in to her horniness and pushed me onto my back, with my head and shoulders elevated on a couple of pillows. She knelt on the bed and stripped down a red thong, tossing it off the edge of my bed before bending over and dragging my pajamas and shorts away.

While she was down there, the blonde bombshell took a few licks of my prick, but quickly moved up to straddle me. The hem of her dress was tight enough that it rode up her thighs while she spread her legs to the side, but it still obscured the sight of her holding my cock upright and sinking herself down onto it. No matter, I could certainly feel it just fine.

"Ohhh..." Adrienne sighed rapturously, letting her head fall back as she crooned her satisfaction to the ceiling. "It's been WAY too long..."

And then we made love.

With Adrienne's red dress bunched around her waist, I had a momentary flashback to the first time Cadence and I had sex. Then, the reason for not undressing was that neither Cadence nor I could wait to get to the fucking. And then we'd rutted like animals until finally achieving climactic release.

This time, there had been no rush. Adrienne hadn't completely removed the dress simply because we didn't need to, even though we'd certainly had time if we were so inclined. In fact, everything about this encounter felt less hurried, less frantic, and more sensual.

It felt ... more intimate.

Adrienne only solidified that feeling by pulling my head between her tits and then tilting my face up so that she could kiss me. We continued our slow-burn kiss while she undulated on top of my prick, moving to give herself pleasure while simultaneously pleasuring me quite well all the same. Mentally, I chuckled to myself. It was ironic that it was Adrienne of all people that I was sharing this slow, intimate dance with, given our wild and crazy beginnings. Even while we were dating, we very rarely shared this measured, deliberate lovemaking. But tonight we did, and in the end, she held me close and stared right into my eyes as our mutual orgasms swept through us.

Adrienne and I had both experienced better orgasms. But only on special occasions had we felt this special connection while doing it. And that made all the difference in the world.

We weren't done yet. We'd shared our beautiful reunion fuck, but Adrienne and I were no longer a romantic couple. She was an adoptive sister, a friend, and above all else, a very beautiful and very horny girl. And she wanted to get LAID.

So she perked up and grinned at me, saying, "Okay, enough with the mushy stuff. Let's FUCK!"

I smiled and twitched my semi-hard cock inside her now sodden pussy, flooded with the results of both our orgasms. "Working on it," I grunted.

Adrienne just gave me a lopsided grin, moving up to push my face between her massive tits and let me motorboat on them while she slapped the fleshy globes against my cheeks. Then she hopped off and slid down the bed to slurp my soaked member into her mouth, rapidly reviving me for a brand new round.

This time, Adrienne let me pull off her red dress. But she took one look at the expensive garment as I tossed it onto the floor, complaining, "We've wrinkled it! Now I'll have to get it dry cleaned."

I grinned and reached for her. "Send me the bill. In fact, I'd be happy to pay for your dry cleaning on every single dress I get to take off your fantastic body."

She giggled, "Deal." And then she whooped as I suddenly grabbed her shoulders and threw her around.

Adrienne was not a small girl by any means. But flexing my muscles, I manhandled her with relative ease until I'd put her onto all fours, jerking her limbs left and right and lifting her midsection until she was in the position I wanted. I stared, nearly drooling, at the sight of her perfect ass, with winking rosebud and dripping wet pussy beneath.

With a solid grip on her hips, I rammed my pelvis forward and re-buried my cock into Adrienne's cunt with a single lunge. She arched her spine, threw her blonde head back, and howled, "Aaaaaaghh!"

And then we FUCKED.

In, out, in, out, my cock sawed through her clenching cunt with ease, lubricated by an abundance of sexual fluids. My pelvis impacted against her buttcheeks with meaty slapping sounds; and about two minutes into my rough pounding of Adrienne's compliant body, the sounds gave me a fresh idea.

[thwack!]

"Gah!" Adrienne gasped and threw her head back in surprise.

[thwack!]

"Unngh," Adrienne moaned and dropped her head back down when she realized I was spanking her.

[THWACK]

"Unngh!!!" she groaned even harder, and her pussy clamped down around me, tightening up the friction.

[THWACK-THWACK-THWACK]

"Oh, shit," she groaned, her hips trembling on the verge of orgasm.

[THWACK-THWACK-THWACK]

"Oh, shit, Tiger. Hit me ... hit me..."

[THWACK!]

"Ohh!"

[THWACK!]

"OHH!"

[THWACK!]

"OH-OHHH!!!"

Without her expecting it, I suddenly shifted. And if I'd been on the other side of her body, I would have seen Adrienne's eyes fly WIDE open and her face light up in surprise. "OH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

I felt Adrienne's entire body quake in orgasm right when my cock invaded her asshole. I'd been plenty lubricated by her pussy fluids, and her ass was so reddened that she didn't even notice me prying her buttcheeks apart for my entry. She'd been on the precipice of climax to begin with and the sudden penetration of her anus sent her over the edge.

"Fuck, BEN!" Adrienne screamed.

I grinned when I realized she'd called me 'Ben' in the middle of sex for the first time in a long time. But I didn't slow down my invasion.

"Arrrrghhhh!!!" she groaned and twitched and grunted until I was balls deep up her asshole, my pelvis pressed tightly to her buttcheeks.

And then we FUCKED some more.

[THWACK!]

"Shit!"

[THWACK!]

"Shit-SHIT!"

[THWACK!]

"Motherfucking-SHIT!"

[THWACK!-THWACK!]

"Holy-URK!"

If Adrienne had been surprised that I was spanking her, she was even more surprised when my left hand clamped around her mouth, the index finger raised up to also block her nostrils. She couldn't breathe for a second and instinctively panicked, bucking at me like a bronco and clamping her sphincter around my invading cock.

I didn't let go of her mouth for a couple of seconds, letting her thrash about. But then I released her, letting her gasp for oxygen while I pushed down between her shoulder blades so that her arms buckled and she collapsed onto the bed.

"Oh, FUCK, Tiger," Adrienne panted, twisting her body to the side. That presented her right tit off the bed and I eagerly reached out to grab it, squeezing the heavy meat in my palm and pinching the erect little nipple, looking so small against the expanse of titflesh. My left hand stayed on her hip, giving me the leverage to continue reaming out her anal chute. And with a maniacally devious grin, I continued fucking Adrienne's ass in wild abandon.

"Fuck me..." she crooned. "Fuck my ass..."

[THWACK!] My left hand let fly to spank her in response.

"Mm ... take me ... use me ... abuse me whenever you want. I love you, Tiger ... I trust you, Ben..."

[THWACK!]

"Ohhh-FUCK! I'm cumming! I'm cumming with your cock up my ass and your handprints all over me. Fuck, Tiger! I'm fucking cumming!"

[THWACK!]

"Oh, hit me! Harder!

[THWACK!]

"One more! I'm cumming!

[THWACK!!!]

"OHHHHHHHHH!!!" Adrienne moaned.

"Unnngghhh," I grunted.

And then we both came to a stop as the deluge poured out of me, spewing white hot lava into the depths of this stunningly gorgeous blonde's anal depths. Her jaw quivered and her eyes fluttered, her mental vision turned inwards to imagine the pulsing jets bathing her bowels with sticky cream.

"Ohhhh!!!" a third voice chimed in, gasping cutely in the throes of orgasm. Adrienne and I both darted our eyes to the desk to find that Paige was sitting in the chair, a hand shoved down her own pajama pants as she brought herself to a self-inflicted climax. And when the petite redhead had finished as well, she sheepishly looked over at us with an apologetic, but satisfied, smile.

Adrienne just chuckled. And then she rolled forward onto her stomach, slowly extracting my cock from her distended anus. "Ahhh..." she sighed tiredly.

We were all quiet for a few long seconds. But once Adrienne had recovered her breath, she turned her head back to look at Paige. "C'mon, little one. Let's hop in the shower and clean off our man. And then what do you say all three of us cuddle up in my bed tonight? We'll change out Ben's sheets tomorrow."

Paige smiled brightly and I grinned. Sounded like a good plan.

The three of us slept wonderfully together, and I woke up to find my morning erection imbedded down somebody's throat.

Adrienne smiled around a mouthful of my cock and then proceeded to blow me until I filled her belly with my spending. Paige stripped naked and jilled off while watching, but knowing I wouldn't approve, she never made a move to touch me.

It all worked out though, because Adrienne had no such moral difficulties and the two girls rolled into a sixty-nine after Paige used her tongue to scrape all my cum off the inner walls of Adrienne's mouth.

Then Adrienne cleaned up and went to her sorority fundraiser. Paige hooked up with Brandi, who took her shopping for bigger maternity clothes. And now sexually sated, I had a clear head as I finalized my belated anniversary date with Cadence.

I was going all out on this one to really treat my girlfriend like a Princess: Formal dinner in San Francisco. An exquisite tiara rented from a Prom shop. And even a horse-drawn carriage ride through Golden Gate park. The horses wouldn't be magically-transformed mice, but we can't have everything we want. I was going to show her I was committed to our relationship and that I had great hopes for a long and happy future together.

MARCH 20, 2004, SPRING BREAK

"You ready for this?" I held Paige's shoulders in my hands, looking down at her reassuringly.

She took a deep breath, looked down, and patted her belly, now quite obvious as she started her fifteenth week of pregnancy. There was no way anyone could possibly NOT notice that the petite redhead was with child. Paige looked up at me and blanched. "I don't know that I'll ever be ready for this."

"You'll be fine. You're a strong girl."

"No, I'm not," she whined. "I have no idea what I'm doing and I haven't had any idea what I've been doing ever since I got here."

I took a deep breath and squeezed her shoulders. "Just know that no matter what happens, I'll be right back here in another week. Okay?" I gestured around where Brandi, Dayna, and Adrienne were right behind me. The Mustang was already packed. Adrienne was sticking around for the Spring Break week to do another modeling shoot and catch up on schoolwork. But Brandi and I were heading home for Keira McNeil's wedding that very afternoon, and Adrienne was going to drop us off at Oakland airport so we could make it back in time.

"Right back here," I repeated.

"I wish you could come with me. I'm going to be so scared to face them."

I sighed. "I'm sorry." I couldn't imagine how difficult it would actually be for Paige to tell her parents she was pregnant.

"You won't be alone," Adrienne added. "I'll be back in less than an hour, and me and Dawn will be right there with you when your parents get here."

Paige nodded and then just pushed herself into my arms for a hug. I held her tightly and even scooped her up off her feet. And before I'd realized it, she lifted her head and pecked me on the lips. "I love you, Ben."

I nodded. "I know." She smiled at that and then I set her back down.

"If this goes bad, you'll never get rid of me." Paige looked up at me again.

"Bzzt, bzzt." I mimed a bee buzzing around me and rolled my eyes before breaking into a smile. Paige smiled as well and then stepped back. And then at last, Adrienne, Brandi, and I hopped into the car.

The girls waved to us as Adrienne started the ignition, and we pulled out of the driveway.

I worried about Paige for the entire trip home.

Keira McNeil was more beautiful this afternoon than the day I first made love to her. She'd done a great job of losing her baby weight and looked trim and happy in a gorgeous white wedding gown. It didn't hurt that her sizeable tits were bigger than I'd ever seen as she was still nursing little Colin; and the dress was cut to show off those nice assets. Her pale green eyes glistened with moisture as she fought not to cry happy tears. Her dark brown hair glowed in the sunlight reflecting off the ocean. And you couldn't ask for better weather here in Laguna Beach.

It was inevitable that I would visualize what Keira looked like naked. After all, (A) I was a horny, teenaged male who wondered what every girl looked like naked. But (B), I could still remember the sight of her reclining across her bed, beckoning me to her and asking me to give her a baby. I could still picture her on all fours, bent over the couch's backrest, looking over her shoulder at me and begging, 'Fuck me, Ben! Fuck me hard!'

But I shook those images from my head. I'd been sixteen when we were really carrying on our affair, almost four years ago. It had been an eternity ago, and we were both very different people now. She was moving into the middle years of her life, focusing on starting her new family. I was in a vastly different point in my life, still slogging through college, yet to even begin my career. We were worlds apart and simply didn't belong together.

So I mentally thanked Keira for everything that she'd given me. And then I let her go. She had her own life to live with a new husband and the baby she'd always wanted. And I had my own future waiting for me back in Berkeley..


The Butterfly and the Bee IV - The Complicated Sex Life Of Ben - Chapter 85 by Fireces full book limited free

85 The Butterfly and the Bee IV

On Sunday, I found myself lounging around the family room, idly flipping channels. The March Madness NCAA Basketball Tournament was still going on, but since USC, UCLA, and Cal had ALL missed out, I didn't really care much. Stanford had been a #1 seed, but I was happy to see they'd been upset by Alabama the day before.

I was still flipping channels when the twins came down. Emma unceremoniously dragged me away from my comfortable spot in one of the couch corners, plopping me into the center cushion of the 3-seater sofa. Then one twin cuddled up on each side of me, using me as a backrest while draping their legs over the armrests in either direction.

Eden promptly swiped the remote control out of my hand and went looking for her own shows. I really didn't mind as I found myself lost in thought over the two very pretty young girls leaning against me. The times had changed. Eden and Emma were fourteen, in High School, with nice tits and great asses and all those things that come with being a beautiful teenager. But for the first time in a long while, the vibes I got from them were from years and years past. These weren't horny teenage girls wanting to explore their sexuality with me. These were just ... the twins, my baby sisters.

I felt no urge to let my hands drift down their chests to cop a feel. Neither twin made any move to grope me, either. We just sat there, watching TV, enjoying the familiar and comfortable presence of a loved one. It was like the twins were 10- years-old again. I imagined that if I whipped out the latest Grand Theft Auto, the girls would squeal for me to steal a pink car for them.

Right in that moment, I could scarcely believe all the sexual things the girls and I had done in the past couple of years. It seemed like another person, not me, who had french-kissed the twins and fondled their naked breasts and let them swallow his cum. Either that or it was really me and they were different young teenagers, not really my little sisters. I just couldn't reconcile the acts that had taken place and the brotherly affection I felt for them right now.

The feelings confused me. After all, my brotherly affection had never interfered with me fucking Brandi's and Brooke's brains out. But after a few seconds of thought, I realized that I put those two sisters in a completely different category from the twins. Maybe it was the age gap. Maybe it was because Eden and Emma were just the babies of the family. Whatever it was, there was something about the twins that put them in a class of their own.

I thought about the future, and how my life was changing as I grew up. Lately, I'd been distracted by the dramas of my butterfly and my bee, developing this new relationship with Cadence and trying to figure out how best to support Paige. But when I expanded my thoughts beyond them, I realized just how OLD I was getting.

In a few months, Brandi would be graduating and moving on with her career and life beyond the core family. That meant in two more years, I would be doing the same. Already we were both in college, living 500 miles away from Orange County and from our parents. In another few months, Brooke would be arriving, having already gotten her admission to Cal as well. The three of us had this college life in common, or close enough to it. We were in a category of our own.

The twins, however, were at a completely different point in their lives. They were just barely in High School and had three more years of growing up to do. I had already seen how much the last two years of my High School career had changed me. My thoughts drifted back to Keira getting married yesterday. I had come to the realization that we were worlds apart, and that we simply didn't belong together. Now, I realized that the twins and I were worlds apart as well. And as I realized that, I also realized that I was NOT the right person to take their virginities.

I didn't regret the things we'd already done. The girls had been curious and naïve. And as uncomfortable as it made me at times, I was much happier knowing the 13 and now 14-year-olds had explored their budding sexuality with me. I was safe. I loved them. And of course, the physical pleasure was pretty nice as well.

But that was then. This was now. The girls had grown up some and had their own experiences with boys. I wanted them to be safe, but they still had to try and fail and learn and grow, the same way Brandi and Brooke had during their teenage years. It wouldn't do for them to be fixated on me, especially since I wasn't around.

And that was the main point: I wasn't around. Yeah, Brooke was two years younger than me. But after I took her virginity, I was still around her every day and night to satisfy her urges and teach her and protect her and generally BE a big brother. If I also took the twins' virginities, I wouldn't be around for them. The simple fact was, once a girl started having sex, she'd want to continue. If I fucked them and went back to Berkeley, the twins would have no choice but to turn to their classmates and the people around them, whether they were ready to deal with those kinds of boys and men or not. And my ego added that if I gave the twins the greatest possible sexual experiences, everything else with fumbling High Schoolers would be a letdown. I just couldn't do it to them.

My mind came back to the real world as I blinked and looked down at the tops of the twins' heads. The girls were still zoned out to the television, oblivious to the thoughts racing through my head. I tightened my arms, hugging them a little more firmly.

Eden noticed and looked up at me. "What's up?"

I smiled back and leaned in to peck her forehead affectionately. "Nothing. Just thinking about how much I love you two."

Both twins giggled and then snuggled deeper into my embrace. But again, there was nothing sexual about their movements. There were no indications that they might want to retire to a bedroom and practice kissing or giving each other oral pleasure. Whether consciously or not, it seemed that they'd also decided that they and I would be affectionate siblings, and nothing more.

That was fine with me.

It felt like I'd made a momentous decision. I wanted to share it, and I knew exactly who I had to tell. Patting the girls' shoulders, I said, "Let me up."

Without questioning why, the girls simply sat up to let me scoot out away from them. Once I was gone, they turned themselves around and backed into the corners, letting their legs drape across each other's. Their eyes were on the TV, big brother already forgotten. I smiled and turned away to look for Mom.

I found her in the living room, actually. She was chatting with Brandi about school and about her future plans. Both women looked up when I entered and Mom read the seriousness in my expression first. "What is it?"

"Uh, I don't want to interrupt."

"No, it's fine. We're just chatting." Mom looked to Brandi for confirmation, and my sister just nodded seriously. It seemed both of them knew what I had to say was more than just a casual comment.

I took a deep breath to collect myself and glanced at Brandi, taking an extra half- second to decide that I didn't mind if she was here for this. I took a seat on the couch next to Mom and looked right at her. "I know we had some talks about the twins and their, ah, development."

Mom nodded and Brandi arched an eyebrow at the topic.

I took another deep breath and stated while shaking my head, "I am NOT going to have sex with the twins, even when they turn fifteen."

Now Mom arched her eyebrow and she looked at Brandi while taking a deep breath of her own. Then she glanced back at me. "I see."

Mom could tell that I had more to say, and very deliberately, I spelled out all the thoughts I'd just been thinking about on the couch, ranging from my belief that the twins and I were just worlds apart to how I wouldn't be around for them in the aftermath if I DID go through with it. I explained that I didn't regret a thing that I'd done with Brandi or Brooke, but that things were just very different with Eden and Emma. My narrative was a little disjointed as thoughts came back to me and I realized I'd zig-zagged around the logical progression of things. But I got my point across and in the end, both women were nodding in agreement with me.

"Aren't you worried what will happen to them on their own?" Mom asked me when I was finally done.

I sighed and nodded. "Of course. I'm their big brother and I love them. But ... Brandi managed to work it out on her own, and she turned out alright."

Brandi blushed and looked down in mild embarrassment.

"Besides, I think the twins have a good foundation. They've learned a lot — both of the positives and the potential negatives — from all of us older kids, including Adrienne. Brooke's still around as an enforcer for a few more months at least. And I'm pretty sure you won't have anything to worry about until next winter when the twins turn fifteen."

Mom grinned. "We are NOT telling them about this little conversation. If I could convince them that they still need to wait for you until they're eighteen, I would."

Brandi and I chuckled. "You don't want me to tell them?" I asked.

Mom shook her head. "No. I'm going to do whatever I can to keep them virginal and pure for as long as I can. Oh, I know they'll need to learn eventually. But I've got the right to err on the side of caution."

I sighed. "They'll be disappointed though, next winter. I'm not sure they'll really understand. I don't want them to feel rejected or to hate me for it."

Mom shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I never would have let you do it anyways."

My head jerked back and I arched an eyebrow. "What?"

Mom grinned mischievously. "I never intended to let you sleep with the twins, Benjamin, for the exact same reasons you just laid out."

"You didn't?"

She shook her head. "But you realized it on your own, that it was the right thing to do. I'm very proud of you."

My mouth gaped. I was still surprised at her declaration. "But if you were never going to let me, why did you let ME think I was going to do it?"

She shrugged. "Same reason I'm not telling the girls yet. Having that carrot out there helped keep all THREE of you in line. Like I said, I'm a Mom. I'll do whatever I can to keep them pure and virginal for as long as I can. If we're lucky, the girls will grow out of their infatuation with you by that time and it will all be a moot point."

There was no mistaking the devious grin on Mom's face. Brandi and I turned, looked at each other, and rolled our eyes. Then I looked back to Mom and sighed. "Fine. But if they don't and the twins want to come skin me alive for making them wait and then not following through, I'm going to point them at YOU."

"We'll see..." Mom smiled. "We'll see."

I didn't give the whole thing much further thought after that. It seemed that Mom was on the right track that the twins were growing out of their infatuation with me as they didn't pursue me for physical pleasures at all that week. We did, however, share a lot of fun brother-sister time just chatting and loafing around the house. To my surprise, the twins had taken to playing on their Nintendo GameCube after they'd gotten home from school and finished with their homework. I got roped into playing Mario Party with them. And somehow they always got me to pick the pink go-karts or characters.

Brandi and I also did the sibling-bonding thing during the weekdays while our parents were at work and our sisters were at school, since the local district had a different spring break from Cal. Brandi was facing her rather permanent move out of Southern California as she'd already landed a job in San Francisco. And she seemed on a mission to visit all the landmarks she'd miss down south, like the Getty Center, Griffith Observatory, and Pink's Hot Dog stand.

And of course, Brooke and I did our own version of sibling-bonding, the kind that involved my dick inside her tight pussy. With her own graduation and relocation up north fast approaching, she had no serious boyfriend and she'd been looking forward to this week for some time.

But after a pleasant week spent with family, I headed back to school...

... And back to my butterfly and bee dramas.

MARCH 28, 2004, SPRING BREAK

It was already evening when Adrienne pulled the Mustang back into the old familiar driveway, and I was quickly out the door and hustling around to the trunk. I grabbed both Brandi's and my suitcases, trundled around to the front of the house, and went up the steps onto the porch.

The door opened before I got to it and Dawn stepped out, quickly hopping up to me and giving me a welcoming hug. "Hey, you."

"Hey," I replied warmly, hugging her back. But as happy as I was to see Dawn, my mind was on two other girls who were very important to me. "Is Paige back yet?"

Dawn looked at me sadly, holding my gaze for a moment before she blinked and shook her head. "No. No word. Not even a phone call since her parents came to get her."

I winced at the memory. Dawn had called me on Sunday, after Keira's wedding, to give me the recap. Paige's parents at first didn't realize she was pregnant, Paige's mom even joking about her eating too much junk food. But deciding to get everything out then and there while she still had backup, Paige informed her parents that she'd gotten knocked up.

Dawn's and Adrienne's presence or not, the parents proceeded to verbally lash their daughter right there on the sidewalk until she was a sobbing mess. They caused such a scene that one passing bystander actually interposed himself between Paige and her outraged father, ordering the older man to back off.

Paige's father just screamed that she was his daughter and he had the right to do whatever he wanted to her. Then Paige's parents dragged her into their car and peeled out so fast they actually burned rubber. I wished I had been there for support, but Dawn assured me that my presence would have only made things worse.

In the here and now, I squeezed Dawn tightly and then took a deep breath. I told her I was heading out to see Cadence, and reminded Dawn to call me as soon as she had word from Paige. Then I headed back out and started walking to my girlfriend's dorm a few blocks away.

I had absolutely no idea what I was walking into.

As concerned as I was for the Paige situation, I was in a happy mood as I rode the elevator up to Cadence's floor. I could barely tolerate the two or three day gaps in seeing my girlfriend for the past couple of months as it was. Spending this last week without her had been an absolute torment, with only the phone keeping us in touch during the absence. Like everything, her style of chatting with me was more tease than content. She seemed to detest the phone even more than I did, and our cell conversations during the past week had all been quite short. As always, she left me craving more.

So I excitedly stepped off the elevator and briskly walked down to Cadence's room. I'd told her my flight schedule so she knew about when I would be coming to her room. And I was expecting a happy reunion with open arms and maybe even a welcome back fuck. Our going away fuck had certainly been mind- blowing.

But as I passed the dorm lounge, a familiar face caught my eye. It was Peggy, Cadence's roommate; and she was sitting on the couch with a textbook in her hands. She looked up when I came to an abrupt halt and gave her a little wave hello. She blanched and almost nervously returned the wave. And then her eyes swept over to the bedroom door.

There was a red ribbon around Cadence's doorknob. At first, a sense of dread washed over me. Why would Cadence have put the red ribbon on the doorknob if I wasn't in there with her? Bile rose up my throat and anger crept into my brain before my better judgment caught up with me.

Well of course. Cadence knew I was coming home and she was preparing my welcome for me. Our anniversary date, with the carriage ride and all, had gone so well that maybe she was planning something REALLY special for me now. I bet she'd pre-emptively kicked Peggy out of the room and was likely waiting for me clad in some slinky lingerie designed to get me hard and out of my clothes as fast as possible. And with my burgeoning erection leading the way, I strutted up to the door.

"Motherfucking-shit! Fuck me! Oh, fuck me!"

My hand froze halfway to the doorknob. My jaw dropped and my heart thudded into my stomach as I heard the cries floating through the door.

"Pound me! Pound me!" Cadence cried through the door. "Shove that thick cock up my slutty asshole! Fuck me! Fuck me!"

My eyes went wide. FUCK!

My arms tensed and I balled up my fists, readying myself to fucking BREAK down the FUCKING DOOR. But just as I reached up to start pounding, all the fight left my body and I felt like crumpling to the floor. Moisture formed in the corners of my eyes and a sense of anguish washed away the red anger in my mind. Why? WHY?

Feeling numb, I turned away from the door, away from the sounds of sex and away from HER. Staggering slightly, I headed right into the dorm lounge and moved beside Peggy, dropping my ass onto the couch while staring at the far wall.

"I'm sorry," Peggy said softly.

Blinking, I asked while still staring at the wall, "How long have they been in there?"

"A half-hour. Maybe a little longer."

My mind raced. I calculated the timing. Cadence HAD to know that I was coming. She'd even emailed me back to confirm my flight schedule. That meant she'd PLANNED for me to arrive right as she was fucking this guy. And at that realization, I did start crying and buried my face in my hands. "FUCK!"

Peggy was quiet, but I was sure she was watching me. I just tried to keep calm for a couple of minutes, but then I picked my face up out of my hands and looked over at her. "Do you know the guy?"

Peggy shook her head in the negative.

"She been with him before?" I asked.

"I don't know. This is definitely the first time she's brought anyone but you here, though," Peggy said with a shrug, as if that piece of news would somehow help.

I sighed and then put my head down. We were both silent for a few minutes. Peggy just sort of sat there next to me, unable to return to her textbook and unable to just walk away from me. But eventually I turned and looked at her. "I'm going to stay here and wait for them. You don't have to stick around here if you don't want to."

She was visibly nervous and glanced at the door and then back to me. "You sure?"

I nodded.

"Sorry," Peggy apologized as if this whole thing were somehow her fault. She scooped up her book and bag and then almost raced out of the lounge, desperate to get the hell away from this situation. I hoped that this would somehow improve Peggy's relationship with her own boyfriend. At least, then, something good would come of it.

And then I settled in to wait.

It actually didn't take very long. I knew Cadence and I had some marathon sessions together, but twenty minutes later, the door opened and a tall, well-built guy came out fully dressed. Cadence was behind him, apparently wearing just a robe over her naked body. He turned to kiss her lips but she presented her cheek to him instead. And then he stood and said hesitantly, "I'll call you sometime?"

"Sure," Cadence shrugged noncommittally. Her eyes immediately darted over to me when she realized I was in the lounge. And then she almost pushed the guy out the door.

Obediently, he left and headed down the hall toward the elevators, shaking his head and muttering, "Crazy bitch."

When he passed, I stood and headed to the door. Cadence looked at me with a curious expression, and then she tightened the robe around herself while going back into the room, running her right hand through her strawberry-blonde hair. I followed her inside and then closed the door behind me. My nose crinkled at the obvious smell of sex.

Cadence flopped onto the bed and sat upright. The robe parted slightly at her chest, revealing the deep cleavage of her 36D's. She sighed and looked up at me, asking, "What are you doing here?"

I blinked and folded my arms across my chest, leaning against the wall. "I was coming to see my girlfriend after the Spring Break."

She pursed her lips and looked away for a moment, then turned to face me. "How long were you out there?"

"Long enough."

"And you stuck around?"

"I wanted to talk."

Cadence sighed, tilting her head back and looking for the entire world as if she'd rather do ANYTHING but talk. I wasn't too surprised. Deep conversations were NOT my butterfly's forte. "Do we really have to?" she whined.

"I think we should."

"I cheated on you. You hate me. We break up. Isn't that how this is supposed to work?"

"Is that what you want to happen?"

She turned her head and then looked back at me. "Yes," she stated firmly.

I arched an eyebrow. "You don't want to talk about this and hope that maybe I'll forgive you?"

"What?" Cadence looked shocked. "No, I don't want your forgiveness! I want out! That's why I seduced that guy. That's why I timed it for when I knew you were coming." She stopped and rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance. "I wanted you to catch us so I wouldn't have to fucking DEAL with this conversation!"

Just then my cell phone went off. I sighed and without looking, reached down and pressed the END button.

I folded my arms again and asked, "Why? Why did you want to break up?"

"Because this isn't working, Ben. Because what you want and what I want aren't the same thing. And because I thought this relationship would be fun!"

"Wasn't it?"

"Most of the time," she conceded. "But then we had these moments where you pulled shit like you're pulling right now. You want to talk and you want to discuss our future and blah, blah, blah. It's so boring! It's not FUN!"

"And was that guy fun?" I pointed out the door. "Do you want HIM now instead of me?"

"Him? Eww, no! He was disposable," Cadence flipped her hand. "I'll never talk to him again. He didn't mean anything to me."

"So what? You used him? To hurt me?"

Cadence shrugged. "It's worked before. Clearly I underestimated your feelings for me." She shook her head. "And why is that? Huh? Just WHY do you have such strong feelings for me? What the fuck did I ever do that made you think we had a future?"

My cell phone went off again. This time, I held down the END button until the fucking thing powered off.

"Why couldn't I think of a future with you?" I scowled. "Isn't that why people get together?"

"No!" Cadence looked at me like I'd asked her if she wanted to eat live cockroaches. "I wanted a boyfriend, not a fucking husband! I wanted a reliable man who would open doors for me and treat me nice and fuck the ever- living-shit out of me whenever the hell I wanted! I wanted a date who would take me out to dinner and pull out my chair and then take me home and blast a load of hot cum up my ass! I wanted a steady source of dick, and you're the best around!"

I chewed on that and glanced back at her. "Then ... then ... why weren't we just fucking from the first date?"

"I don't know! Why weren't we?" Cadence glared. "Gawd, maybe that should have been my sign. I should have realized you were a romantic when you were playing it slow instead of jumping my bones like you did every other girl you met."

"I'M a romantic? What's with all that Princess crap?"

"A girl likes to be treated nice out in public, okay? That doesn't mean I want to cuddle and get all mushy and talk about my feelings." She spat the word "feelings" as if it were the most disgustingly filthy curse word she could imagine.

"But if you just wanted to have fun, why were YOU waiting?"

"Because I don't make a move until YOU show me that you want me. I just don't. Except for that first time I asked you out — because I REALLY wanted to hook up with you — I'm not the kind of girl to initiate contact. What kind of Princess has to pursue a Prince?"

"You didn't pursue..." I waved my hand in the general direction of the door. "... him?" I questioned.

"Of course not." Cadence rolled her eyes again. "He's been after me for weeks. Yeah, I flirted with him and I teased him. And HE had the fucking balls to ask if he could come into the room with me the first chance he got."

"Fucking hell..." I stared at her with a fury in my eyes. The S-word was on the tip of my tongue, but I was loathe to call anyone a slut, even her.

She recognized the foul expression on my face. Getting defensive, she growled. "Don't get me wrong. I'm no slut. I turn down 99% of the guys that proposition me. But I turn down 100% of the guys that DON'T, and it's not my fault it took you weeks to get down to business."

Still with the slut concept at the front of my head, I growled. "And how many of that 1% you DO accept happened since we got together?"

Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Before him? Zero. I was completely faithful to you up until today." Then Cadence's eyes dropped to slits and she sneered at me as she asked, "What about you?"

I snarled and looked away. I knew damn well I'd fucked both Adrienne and Brooke since getting serious with Cadence. While they didn't "count" to me, I wasn't entirely sure my girlfriend would have seen things that way. I started to compose a response, but Cadence beat me to it.

"Look, I don't really care who you had on the side, be it Adrienne or even more than her," Cadence sighed. "You never left me wanting, and that's all that mattered. But right now, I just don't want to waste any more time. This is already WAY more drama than I want to deal with, and there's always another guy."

I shook my head at how casually Cadence was dismissing our relationship. "Fucking butterflies..."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind," I sighed.

"What do you want from me, Ben?"

"I wanted a girlfriend, alright? If I just wanted to get laid, I could've just kept banging all your sorority sisters," I griped, holding my forehead.

Cadence exhaled, dropping her chin into her hands. She looked as if this were the absolute worst torture she could imagine, trapped and having to TALK to me. "Sorry I'm not what you expected," she drawled, not really sounding sorry.

But then a second later, she fixed those green eyes on me and stared at me seriously. "Look, when we first started, I didn't know you wanted any deep commitments. I just wanted to have a good time and based on what I knew of you, seeing you flirt with all the other Tri-Delts, I thought that you were of the same mind." She took a deep breath, this time looking truly apologetic. "I'm sorry. I should have realized it when you brought me to meet your friends on Valentine's Day. I was just too excited to notice, I guess. I was hot and horny and really tired of waiting so long for you to make a move. And when you finally did, the sex was just so amazing that I forgot about everything else."

Her candor and open honesty for once did wonders for calming me down. This was the most serious I'd ever seen Cadence, and I couldn't help but remember all our naughty, nasty sex sessions. And unable to stop myself from smiling, I arched an eyebrow and drawled, "The sex was great, wasn't it?"

She sighed. "I'm going to miss it. But sex alone won't save us. Not when we want different things."

"I want the intimacy and affection of a relationship," I sighed.

"And I don't. That's our problem. And that's why we can't stay together."

I nodded and turned to lean my back against the wall, tilting my head until I was staring at the ceiling. "There, was that so hard? Just talking to me? You didn't have to debase yourself by fucking some random guy."

Cadence chuckled and flashed me an impish grin. "But I LIKE fucking..."

"Still. This would have hurt less," I growled. I still couldn't get the vision of my girlfriend getting plowed by a random stranger out of my head. My hands balled into fists and I had to exhale slowly to keep myself calm.

"I'm sorry." She shrugged. "Maybe next time." I looked up to see that her whole posture had improved. She seemed to realize that our conversation was coming to an end and she wouldn't have to deal with me and my emotions anymore. Like a true butterfly, she was already off to land the next flower.

I shook my head and cursed myself for being so stupid. Dawn had warned me that we were doomed to fail if we didn't get on the same page. But I'd been blinded by a pretty face and great tits and never really paid attention to all the warning signs. I'd failed once with Adrienne, not realizing that we didn't want the same things in our future. Now I'd done it again with Cadence.

What was this with me attracting girls who didn't want to settle down? Maybe it was my own fault. Being the man-slut that I was, perhaps all the "nice" girls ran screaming the other way whenever I came around. No way would any of them want to put up with my wildly promiscuous ways. I'd made my own bed, playing around with the entire Tri-Delt sorority, and I had to sleep in it.

Cadence wasn't going to change, and for me to waste any more time trying to make her was pointless. So shaking my head, I stood up straight and took a deep breath. I fixed the sleeves of my sweater as I looked wearily at my now ex-girlfriend. "Fine. You're free. We're broken up," I sighed. "You take care, Cadence."

She measured me and nodded. "You too, Ben."

I walked out the door, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to will the visions of Cadence and the other guy out of my head.

But the harder I tried, the more they stayed lodged in my brain.

I needed to PUNCH something.

I was quite morose and pissed off as I staggered up the steps to the house. I was also in pain, having attempted to knock down the wall in the lobby of Cadence's dorm.

Wall 1, Ben 0. Fucking felt like I'd fractured my hand.

I went into the house to find the living room empty. I turned to head into my bedroom, but someone must have heard my steps on the hardwood because Adrienne's door flung open and there was Dawn, glaring at me with a very pissed off expression on her face. "Where the FUCK have you been?" she squawked.

"At Cadence's. You fucking KNOW that!" I barked right back, not in the mood. But I regretted the anger in my voice and softened, looking back at Dawn's face. "What's going on?"

"I've been frantically trying to get a hold of you. Your cell phone is off or something." Dawn pushed the door wider open, to show Adrienne, Brandi, and Paige sitting on Adrienne's bed. Paige was sobbing and the other two were trying to comfort her.

"While you were busy getting laid, WE were dealing with this," Dawn jabbed her finger at Paige.

"I wasn't getting laid," I spat back, too exhausted to try and argue with her right now. And I realized that now was not the time to argue anyways. So I pushed past Dawn and went into the room.

Paige looked up at me as I came in and just started crying even harder. She put her head down while the girls rubbed her back. The petite redhead was whimpering constantly, mumbling mostly. The only words I could make out were, "I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!"

"Paige, Paige..." I said soothingly, shoving my own anger aside. It was actually good that there was some new crisis for me to focus on; it made me stop dwelling on Cadence. I reached my hand out to her and asked, "What's wrong? What happened?"

Paige looked up me, her eyes dull and her face ashen. She reached out and took my hand in hers, crying, "My parents kicked me out."

Ah, hell.

Already emotionally wrung-out from the whole thing with Cadence, I simply sank down onto the bed and hung my head downward. Paige squeezed my hand and continued whimpering. Then she spilled the story for me.

"They were livid, of course, when they came to pick me up. They drove me straight to the church and we went in to see our priest. Then they kept me there almost the rest of the night, asking me questions over and over again until they were convinced I had told them everything."

Paige took a deep breath and I managed to look at her, squeezing her hand.

Her eyes apologetic, she continued. "They don't know much about you. I told them you were my boyfriend freshman year but we broke up. I told them you weren't involved. They were more concerned with what was going on last semester."

I shrugged and nodded. Her parents being mad at me wasn't something I was worried about.

Paige sighed and looked at the other girls. They'd already heard this part, but being able to retell it had focused her narrative. "My parents know everything: the drugs, the sleeping around. They couldn't believe that I didn't even know who the father was. My dad was ready to excommunicate me right then and there."

Paige grimaced and bent over, looking ready to start crying again. I squeezed her hand and said, "You don't have to tell me everything. Maybe we should just get things calmed down right now. The girls can fill me in later."

But Paige shook her head and looked stubbornly at me. I knew the look. When my little firecracker got something in her head, nothing would stop her. "I had to do some penance, saying prayers and things like that. My parents brought me home and then promptly locked me down. I couldn't leave the house for any reason. We didn't even celebrate my birthday. I turned 20 last Tuesday. Did you know that?"

She turned forlornly to Adrienne, who just pursed her lips and nodded. Adrienne was good about remembering people's birthdays.

Paige sighed. "For the whole week, they gave me only bread and water — probably not the greatest diet for the baby. They made me pray or do these stupid rituals almost constantly. And then they did their best to show me the error of my ways and remind me how much I'd disappointed them. Like I didn't know that already."

She sighed and I just kept squeezing her hand, waiting until she'd talked it all out.

After a few moments to catch her breath, Paige looked at me and whimpered. She looked ready to cry again, her mouth a hard line with her lips pressed inwards. "Apparently I didn't show them enough contrition. Never mind that I've already spent months beating myself up over it and I'm too tired of second- guessing myself." She bit her lip and looked to the ceiling. "They never talked to me about what to do with the baby. I don't know if they discussed any plans themselves. Nothing was talked about what to do in the future. It was only about the mistakes I'd made in the past and how they never should have let me leave home to go to college."

Brandi and Adrienne were still rubbing Paige's back and arms. They had tensed up, and based on their cues, I got the impression Paige's story was coming to a close.

My little redhead took a deep breath and then looked at me. She was surprisingly calm at this moment, as if she'd accepted what happened. Or maybe it hurt so much that she was still in shock. Either way, her voice was clear and strong as she sat up straight and stated, "I had no idea what was going to happen when my parents drove me back to school. I was surprised they hadn't talked to me about what to do with the baby at all. Frankly, I'd thought they wouldn't even let me come BACK. But they drove me to Berkeley and dropped me off outside the dorm. Mom stayed in the car and Dad came around to pull my bag out of the trunk."

Paige took a deep breath. I realized that everyone else seemed to be holding theirs in as well.

"He looked at me strangely and said, 'You are no longer our daughter. We will cancel your credit cards and you are not welcome in our home. You have obviously chosen to take this sinful path in your life, and we will leave you to it. What you do from now on is up to you.' And then he got back in the car and peeled away from the curb."

I blinked in absolute shock. She'd told me way in the beginning that her parents had kicked her out. But it still felt like I'd gotten kicked in the gut when Paige finally laid it out.

My male problem-solving instincts went to work. Perhaps it would have been better to be emotionally supportive. But then again, maybe Paige had been getting enough of that from the girls so far. I blinked a few times and then looked up, asking, "Is your tuition paid off through the end of the semester at least?"

Paige nodded and glanced at Brandi before returning to me. "I'm fine financially, for now at least. I got a full-ride, remember? Tuition, room, and board. Even medical. As long as I keep my grades up."

I didn't remember. I'd known Paige had some scholarships, and that she was a smart girl. But a full-ride? "Wow," I breathed.

"So I won't lose my dorm room," Paige said carefully. "But, ah ... I mean, I know I said I wouldn't be staying here long. But, I-"

"You can stay here as long as you need. I won't ever kick you out," I said firmly. Only then did I look to my roommates for confirmation. Neither of them looked like they were going to disagree. Even Dawn was nodding her head.

Paige nodded and looked at her hands. Now that she'd told her story ... twice ... she seemed remarkably calm. Resigned, but calm. There was no imminent danger of losing a roof over her head or having to drop out of school. There was, of course, the impending arrival of a baby. But now with her parents no longer an option for support, maybe I could still talk Paige into an abortion. Or at the very least, adoption. She was in no condition to raise a child.

I'd been ruminating on these things for a few seconds, still holding Paige's hand but staring off into space. It was Dawn's urgent, "Ben!" that roused me, as I looked over to see that Paige's eyes were fluttering and she was on the verge of passing out. Oops, she hadn't been calm and resigned. She'd been in shock. And as her emotional reserves of energy were leaving her, she was toppling forward right at me.

Quickly I scooped my arms and caught her. Then without thinking about it, I lifted Paige like a little child and brought her into my lap. Her legs were on either side of me. Her arms were over my shoulders. And her head was pillowed on my shoulder.

"Hmm..." the little redhead whimpered and wrapped herself more tightly around my body.

Without a word to the girls, I pivoted and then stood up off the bed, still holding Paige in my arms. I walked out of Adrienne's bedroom, straight across into mine. A few seconds later, I gently lay the little redhead down in my bed before turning and kicking off my own shoes and uncomfortable jeans. She pulled off her own jeans as well before tucking herself beneath the covers, shivering slightly at the cold touch. Then I slipped in beside her, cuddling the young, frightened girl against me and giving her my body's warmth. I slowly talked to her, giving her soothing words about how I was there to help her. And eventually, we both fell asleep.

The pain didn't go away in my sleep. Once I was out, my subconscious took over and kept me tossing and turning fitfully, never quite enough to wake me up but not letting me really rest, either.

I kept running through every conversation I'd ever had with Cadence. I kept seeing all the clues I'd missed: clues that she never wanted a permanent, romantic commitment. And I mentally thrashed myself over how stupid I'd been and the mistakes I'd made.

And I wasn't the only one tossing and turning. Paige was having a rough night of her own, no doubt trying to cope with the idea that her parents had disowned her and that she was all alone in the world. It's a frightening thing for a young girl who'd grown up very sheltered, to suddenly find herself tossed out into the real world. I couldn't imagine what was going through her head that night.

At some point, my tossing and Paige's tossing woke us both up. It was the darkest part of night, but there was enough illumination from clocks and the moon that we could see each other's eyes as we turned to each other. And for a few seconds, we both calmed down seeing the face of someone special, someone who truly cared about us.

I was feeling abandoned by Cadence. While I wouldn't have said I'd fallen in love with her, I'd put a part of my heart into our relationship and a lot of my hopes for the near future at least. I was feeling lonely and angry. I wanted to lash out at something and wanted to feel good at the same time. I am a sexual creature, and drowning myself in a sea of orgasmic bliss was always an option I looked for in moments like this.

Paige was feeling abandoned by her parents. She was tired and scared and alone. She was looking for comfort and love, in any form. And in me she saw a possibility for happiness. Wouldn't it be wonderful for her if the only man who had ever stepped up to defend her came to love her again? Wouldn't it be wonderful if she could once again be with the only man who had ever been a protective, considerate boyfriend? And how wonderful would it be if her greatest love married her and raised her child with her, sheltering and providing for her and her baby. She wouldn't have to be alone ever again. And she could be happy for all eternity.

Of course, I knew what was I was thinking at the time. I wouldn't find out what Paige was thinking for another day. But it didn't matter. In that moment, we both wanted the same thing. I reached out to hold her cheeks in my hands, tilted my head, and closed my eyes as I puckered up. Paige trembled with excitement and eagerly met my lips, her eyes wide open for the few seconds as our mouths molded together. And then she whimpered in surprised elation before closing her eyes and giving herself over to the passion of our kiss.

From that point on, there wasn't much more thought from either of us. It was sometime after 3am. We were both physically and emotionally exhausted. 'Thinking' just wasn't part of what happened next. We simply moved.

We'd both fallen asleep in the T-shirts we'd been wearing the previous day, plus our underwear. Maintaining our liplock, I rolled us over so that I was on top. And then we started to pull off our clothing. Paige and I broke our kisses long enough for me to drag her T-shirt up over her face, up her arms, and then to leave it somewhere above the pillows. She reached behind herself to unsnap her bra, and then I snaked a hand up and underneath the loosened cup to fondle one of her pert 32B's. All the while I ground my crotch against her hip bone. And our tongues dueled together inside of and between our mouths.

Paige's hands then tugged at my boxer shorts, jerking at them hurriedly. I pulled away long enough to drag them down my ass, not even quite to my knees, but low enough to free my cock and balls. For a brief second I thought about taking the time to fully undress, but the urgent need to be inside her was too great. So reaching down, I pulled the crotch of her panties to the side, slotted my dick, and started pushing.

Paige tore her mouth away and grunted when my battering ram parted her tight pussy lips. She was wet, but not that wet, and her vaginal lips were no longer used to opening. She strained and groaned, spreading her legs to the sides to help. I lowered my chest onto hers, feeling her bra cups against my chest just beneath her neck. And I gripped her hips for leverage to continue pressing my thick member deep inside her moistening canal.

The petite redhead groaned as I sank in inch by inch. Her fingers bunched up my T-shirt, slowly dragging it up my back without trying to take it off. And eventually she raised her legs around my hips, crossing her ankles behind me and yanking inward, helping me force my way through her extremely tight tunnel.

"Oh, God, Ben!" Paige moaned right into my ear before licking the lobe. "Deeper ... deeper..."

"Ughhhh..." I groaned, pushing with desperate urgency. At last, I felt my pelvic bone mash up against hers and I collapsed onto her petite body, panting for oxygen after realizing that I'd been holding my breath.

"Mmm ... So good inside me..." Paige moaned.

Those would be the last coherent words either of us spoke until the very, very end. Like I said, 'thinking' wasn't a big part of what we were doing. And all we could muster from that point on were the grunts and groans of two young people fucking in the middle of the night.

"Gahhh ... Nnggaaahh..." Paige groaned as I started pumping in and out of her tight snatch. Her voice was breathy as she let her head fall back and let the rest of her body relax. She wasn't quite a limp fish beneath me, but she was certainly content to let me do most of the fucking work.

"Unnnghh ... Hhuunnghhh..." I grunted with the exertion of thrusting myself through her clenching cunt, feeling her vaginal walls resisting me on the way in and then gripping me on the way out.

"Mmm ... hmmm..." Paige moaned as she moved her lips to my shoulder, tugging my T-shirt away from my neck and nibbling on the flesh she'd exposed while clutching my back as if her life depended on it.

"Ohhh ... Nnnghhooo..." I groaned as I felt her clamping her pussy around me even more, trying to match my rhythm by loosening to allow my entry and then holding me tightly as I withdrew. My hands scooped beneath her shoulder blades and held her still while I levered my torso up with my elbows so I wouldn't keep crushing her.

"Ugghhh..." Paige groaned when I changed the motion, keeping my dick fully embedded inside her and gyrating my hips to carve my meat pole along the walls of her cunt to slowly stretch her out while also setting off all her inner nerves. But that only lasted for a minute or two before her heels tug into my ass and she jerked down on my shoulders, collapsing my chest onto hers once again. She then began to undulate her hips, fucking back at me to get the in and out motion she so desperately craved.

"Oh, fffuhhh..." I began, unable to complete the word as I gave myself over to the ecstasy. I'd been trying to watch her face, to show Paige the love and care I felt for her with my eyes. But now I just let my forehead burrow against the pillow and closed my eyes as I concentrated on driving myself through her tight pussy, feeling the exquisite pleasure shooting up my dick.

Our fucking had all been instinct. Neither of us really thought about what we were doing. This close to 3am, neither of us was really awake enough to think, period. And now our instincts driving us to find the ultimate pleasure were driving us to fuck harder and faster and deeper than before. Paige repeatedly flexed her legs, pulling her ass off the mattress and fucking herself against my invading prick as if I were a stationary sex apparatus. I kept my eyes closed and my head down as I rammed myself rhythmically, feeling like I was on one of those rowing machines in reverse as I drove my entire body forward forcefully before retreating back to do it again. And soon we were racing to our climaxes.

Thankfully, Paige beat me to it. I wasn't thinking clearly but I would have regretted it if I somehow finished before her. Her petite body was dwarfed beneath me, but she was fucking back at me just as hard as I was fucking her. Careless for the jostling the baby in her belly had to be feeling, she flung her hips at me with abandon and started wailing out as her orgasm approached. "AAHHH! AAHHH! AAHHH!!!"

"UNGH! UNGH! UNGH!" I grunted right with her, fucking her so hard that tears started squeezing out from under my eyelids.

"AHH! AHH! AHH!" she chanted, her voice getting higher pitched as she sped up as well.

"UGH-UGH-UGH-UGH!" I followed right along, my hips flying as my cock pistoned in and out of her body at an uncontrollable speed.

And then she was there. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Paige screamed as the orgasm ripped through her body, an explosion of relief and pleasure that detonated deep inside her core and radiated outward until it seemed that her limbs were jerking from electric shock.

She actually threw off my rhythm when she came, jerking so violently that my cock was almost dislodged from her convulsively clenching cunt. But so close to my own orgasm, I gritted my teeth and moved my hands down to her hips, pinning them in place while I thrust frantically into her spasming snatch, desperate to cum as well.

Paige was just winding down when I finished. I gave three last herky-jerky thrusts before burying myself to the hilt inside her pussy. My cockhead banged against her cervical wall, tightly closed and sealed to prevent my entry. And then that cervical wall was bathed by hot, sticky jism as I started pouring out my frustrations, desires, and love in a seemingly endless stream of cum.

"ARRRGHHH!!!" I grunted as I came, my body jerking spastically with my cock as the epicenter. My back was arched and my hands gripped Paige's hips so tightly I nearly bruised her. But she didn't cry out against the pain. Already sated herself, she simply slid a hand beneath my T-shirt and stroked my spine soothingly, moaning pleasantly into my ear as I poured out my pleasure into her warm, willing body.

I collapsed again on top of her chest. The petite girl was barely a hundred pounds, but she supported me without complaint and kept rubbing my back while humming with deep satisfaction. Her legs were still wrapped around my waist, holding me deep inside her. And my cock slowly softened inside her now saturated pussy while the two of us cooled down from our nocturnal act.

"I love you, Ben," Paige whispered softly, clutching my shoulders even more tightly and pulling my heavy weight even more firmly onto her.

"I know," I replied and nuzzled her neck. "I love you, too.."

Next chapter


Dawn's Story IIl - The Complicated Sex Life Of Ben - Chapter 88 by Fireces full book limited free

86 Dawn's Story l

DAWN

AUGUST 17, 2002, SUMMER BREAK

My heart was already racing well before I saw the house. It felt like ages since I'd last seen Ben and Adrienne and Brooke and everyone else, even though this was actually the shortest wait to see them after a summer camp since they'd moved to Orange County.

Then my heart nearly stopped when I saw the family van parked in the three-car driveway behind a cherry red Mustang and Dayna's Impala. They were already here.

Ben was already here.

There was so much I wanted to tell him. There were so many feelings I wanted to share with him. I loved him beyond anything I'd ever felt or would ever feel for anyone else. He was my destiny, and I knew deep in my heart that we would be together when it mattered most.

I loved him so much that I was willing to wait for him. I wanted him to be happy, and that meant not interfering in his relationship with Adrienne. It hurt. It really, really hurt to not be with him. But I had faith that we would find each other again.

Dad parked our van on the street since the driveway was full. DJ popped the door even before we came to a complete stop, and she made a beeline into the house. I took a moment to calm myself, then more sedately stepped out, walked down the sidewalk, and headed up the steps onto the front porch. My luggage could wait for later. Right now, I HAD to see him.

I froze when I saw him. I mean, I was expecting to see him, but it was still a shock when I finally did. Every time I saw him again, I was amazed at how much he'd grown up in the past few years. Ben had always been a cute kid. Good bone structure, kind eyes, strong jaw. But he'd been short, even shorter than me, up until he showed up that summer camp when I turned sixteen. Now he was a 6'0" tall hunk of man meat, handsome and well-built. The boy attracted girls like he was made of chocolate. And he had a casual confidence that oozed out of his pores every time he moved.

And there he was. Ben was coming out of a bedroom, dusting off his hands and chuckling about something he and Adrienne were talking about. I wanted to run up and tell him that he meant the world to me. I wanted to tell him to leave Adrienne because only I could ever make him truly happy. I wanted to tell him that we belonged together.

But I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't. Someday; but not right now.

Giving myself something else to focus on, I turned to Ben's right. "Adrienne, hey!" I stepped forward with open arms.

Slightly surprised, the blonde bombshell nevertheless welcomed me with a hug. "Dawn! How was your summer?"

"August has been kind of a drag, actually. After the incredible highs of camp, it's always ... I dunno ... kind of a letdown, you know?"

Adrienne smiled. "Yeah. I won't miss the bugs, but I missed hanging out with you, DJ, and Felicia."

I rolled my eyes, thinking of all the wonderful things Ben and Adrienne must have been doing without me. "Missed ... You can't have been too bored having Ben all to yourself for a few weeks."

Adrienne snorted. "To myself? Yeah, right. Brooke was always around, for one. And then a bunch of Ben's girls all had to have one last farewell before going away: Heather, Candy, Allie, Helene. Believe me, we've been busy," she laughed.

I arched an eyebrow. If Ben were mine, I'd want to keep him by my side as much as possible, not have him running around with other girls and leaving me alone to pine after him. "You don't mind all that? I dunno. If I was still his girlfriend, I don't think I could let him out quite that much."

Adrienne shrugged and then grinned evilly. "Nah. As long as I get to join in. Think you had fun with Felicia?" Adrienne chuckled. "This one girl, Helene? We played her like a piano. Seriously, do-re-mi and the girl goes unconscious from too much pleasure. She wasn't even into girls until we got a hold of her. But up until two days ago she practically had her face in my crotch 24/7."

Ahhh ... That made more sense. Sharing Ben was completely different from letting him go off alone. And I started giggling at the thought of sharing him with Adrienne. She really was stunningly gorgeous. "Speaking of faces in your crotch..."

The gorgeous girl in question grinned, running her eyes up and down my body with obvious interest. "Later. I promise," she replied with an extra husk in her voice.

I nodded and then finally turned to Ben. The little interlude with Adrienne had calmed me down, but the nerves came back to me as I stopped a foot away and tried to smile. A month after parting at camp, my feelings for him hadn't changed one bit. I was madly in love with him. I wanted us to be together ... forever. And I wanted to marry him. But I couldn't have him; not right now. I wouldn't do that to Adrienne. "Hey..." I began.

"Hey, you." I could feel the war going on behind Ben's eyes. He loved me. He really and truly loved me. But he was also IN love with Adrienne and wouldn't abandon her.

My mind was racing again with all the jumbled thoughts and emotions that had paralyzed me before. But thankfully, Ben decided for the both of us what to do as he stepped forward, wrapping me up in the warmest hug imaginable. I sagged into his embrace and smiled, patting his back while he stroked my spine. And in a warm voice that sent tingles all over my body, he softly murmured, "It's good to see you."

"You, too," I sighed before pulling myself back, an arm's length away with my hands still on his shoulders. Our eyes met and our very souls reconnected. And with that knowledge, a sense of peace fell over me. I smiled and said, "We're finally here. And now we'll never have to be apart again."

The new house had to have walls that were made of tissue paper. I was used to home, which while not 100% soundproofed, still muffled things well enough that you couldn't hear someone fucking in another room unless you were listening very hard for the sounds. When I'd wanted to rub myself listening to Dayna or DJ entertaining a guest, I could. But when I'd wanted to do something else, any stray noises just faded into the background.

This Berkeley house was NOT like that at all. Ben and Adrienne were fucking up a storm and every moan, whimper, and passionate groan filtered out of their bedroom and through what seemed to be a hollow door. If the whole house was like this, either the five of us would have to confine our lovemaking to the late hours when no one was around, or we'd just have to accept that we were being broadcast to our friends and whoever else happened to be visiting. Knowing how horny we all got, I was expecting the latter.

I wanted to join them. Adrienne had certainly made reference to faces in crotches. And of course, I was simply DYING to feel Ben ... MY Ben ... deep inside me, filling me in ways that only he could ever do.

But I couldn't. Ben and I couldn't have sex anymore. I had a boyfriend now, and I'd promised Ryan that I wouldn't. No sex. No intimate touches. Not even kissing. And besides ... it would HURT too much. I would be intimate with Ben, and yet, not WITH him. I just wouldn't be able to handle it.

And so ... aching deep inside ... I leaned against the wall and listened to them.

A few minutes later, Adrienne screamed in orgasm. I also heard what sounded like open-palmed spanks to her asscheeks along with the accelerated pounding of the mattress on the bed frame. And then I heard Ben's grunt of relief as he was no doubt spewing gob after gob of cock cream deep into Adrienne's body.

I gave them a minute, trying to calm my own rapid heart rate. And then I opened the door and slipped inside. The still-naked couple glanced over at me and smiled while I turned to them with a smile of my own.

"I knew you'd come," Adrienne beamed. Then she spread her legs, planting her feet on top of the mattress. "Come get your Ben fix!"

We'd agreed on this back at camp. I wouldn't be able to do anything directly to Ben, but I could still do this. He was my drug; I was addicted to him. And I already knew there would be many more days like this when I could suck his cum out of Adrienne's pussy, tasting his unique flavor and fantasizing about getting it directly from the source. I quickly crossed the room and sank to my knees between Adrienne's spread legs. Without the slightest delay, I rammed my tongue into the gorgeous blonde's slit and began slurping noisily, tasting the mingled orgasmic cream of the both of them. And I moaned happily, feeling like I was tasting the most heavenly dessert imaginable.

"No, Ben. Don't." Adrienne's voice rang out above me.

Though I couldn't see him, I felt Ben's presence behind me. I arched my back and thrust out my ass, beckoning him to undress me just enough to shove that beautiful cock into my welcoming body. I wanted him. I WANTED to fuck him.

"You can't, remember?" Adrienne said softly. I wasn't sure if she was talking to him or me.

The tears started rolling down my eyes as I realized that I could quite literally taste my Ben, but nothing more. I couldn't be with him, no matter how much we might want it. Not right now at least. I clung to the "not now" part, dreaming of "later".

And then I felt Ben's lips against the back of my neck as he brushed my hair to the side. He kissed me with a tenderness that melted my insides. These kisses were our most intimate of platonic gestures, and the touch of his lips felt so pure and wonderful.

But I wanted more. Right here, right now, I was willing to throw all my rationalizations away. They made sense when Ben and I were 500 miles apart; but here, in the same bedroom, it just couldn't work. I couldn't be this close to him and NOT want to be with him.

I didn't love Ryan. I loved BEN. I didn't care if I fucked up his relationship with Adrienne, as much as I liked her as a friend. I wanted MY BEN. And as I felt him pull his lips away from my neck, I pulled my head out of Adrienne's crotch and turned around, getting to my feet.

"Ben!" I reached for him, my jaw covered in honey and spunk. My eyes pleaded for him to seize me, ravish me, and never let me go.

"It's okay," Ben gestured for me to stop with both hands. He smiled at his girlfriend adoringly, clearly in love with her. In love with HER. Not ME. And I felt my heart cracking as I saw the expression on his face.

"Go ahead and get reacquainted with each other," Ben continued. "I'll be outside."

I blinked several times, feeling sadder than I had in my whole life. How could he reject me?

But a few seconds later my rational brain caught up with me. Ben was right. This was what we had decided on. This was best for the both of us. There would be time for us later, when we both grew up. We would be together again, when BEN became the man I knew he could be. It wasn't our time just yet, and I didn't want to ruin our future for a few fleeting moments of lust today. It hurt, but I could wait for him. So I nodded in understanding.

"But Ben," Adrienne sat up, a frown on her face. "Don't you want to watch?"

Ben sighed and bit his lip. I saw the same pain I felt reflected in his eyes. "I would", he said. "You know I would. But I can't; it would just be too hard." And then with all the same anguish I felt inside etched across his face, he grabbed a pair of shorts and left.

I looked at the closed bedroom door for a few seconds before I felt Adrienne's fingers softly caressing my cheek. "He loves you. You know he does."

I nodded.

Adrienne smiled beautifully before sighing and saying, "I'll give him back to you someday; I promise."

I turned to look at her, arching an eyebrow.

"I love him," she continued. "I love him with all my heart. But I'm not the kind of girl to marry him and give him kids and all that jazz. I need him, Dawn. I love him and I need him. I know it's not fair that I'm keeping the two of you apart, but God help me, I need him."

I bit my lower lip, remembering the pain of that first week at summer camp and not sure how to feel right now about this girl who had stolen my soulmate. I didn't blame her. A lot of things, including my own decisions, had led all three of us to this point. But it still hurt.

Adrienne stroked my cheek again, giving me a hopeful smile. "Still ... Maybe when I'm a stronger person, maybe when I don't NEED him so much, I'll give him back to you."

Still biting my lip, I looked at the gorgeous girl with a simultaneously hopeful and scared expression.

She just cupped my cheek, her hazel eyes twinkling, and stated, "You're destined to be together. And someday, all your dreams will come true. I'll just keep him out of trouble until that day comes, okay?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. Then Adrienne pulled my face to hers and planted the softest, sweetest kiss on my lips. Our tongues intertwined for a few moments and then a little sigh of pleasure escaped my mouth.

Adrienne smiled and stroked my back lovingly. "Come on. Let's get reacquainted and celebrate our friendship in a sea of bliss."

AUGUST 18, 2002, SUMMER BREAK

There was an awkward moment at breakfast. I'd made pancakes and eggs for everyone, but the eggs were all eaten by the time Ben and Adrienne made it to the table. It was their fault they were late. I'd heard Ben grunting from what sounded like a morning blowjob.

In any case, I was perfectly happy to make more eggs. I was already cooking and I knew just how to make them the way Ben liked. But Adrienne had insisted that she take over, giving me a 'Hey, I'm his girlfriend' look. We'd shared a moment yesterday, coming to the understanding that she'd give him back to me eventually. But for now, Adrienne was still the outsider to our group and a little protective of her position.

Throughout breakfast, Ben looked like he wanted to talk to me. And when the time came to head out and give Adrienne a tour of the campus, Ben changed the plans and had Dayna and Brandi escort Adrienne so that he and I could talk. I felt myself starting to get tense the very second he suggested it.

And so Ben and I ended up on the couch together, leaning sideways against the backrest while looking at each other nervously. Ben actually looked more nervous than me, which made me smile as I watched him trying to organize his thoughts. At the same time, he looked like he wanted to just seize my head and shove his tongue down my throat.

I wanted him to. And I was contemplating starting a volcanic kiss myself, damn the consequences, when he abruptly asked, "How was your date with Ryan last night?"

I blinked a few times, surprised by his question. It had been my first date with Ryan since seeing Ben again, and the whole evening had been a little awkward. Ryan had gone so far as to ask if I'd fucked Ben already, and he didn't believe me when I told him I hadn't. It took a half-hour to convince him otherwise, and even then he seemed skeptical throughout the rest of the night. We didn't even have sex, and I came back to Berkeley unfucked and unsure that I ever really wanted to again with Ryan. My whole relationship with my boyfriend felt different now that Ben was here, and I just couldn't relax.

But I didn't tell Ben all that. How do you talk to an ex-boyfriend about your problems with a current boyfriend? I just replied some stuff about Ryan dealing with a new school, just like us. Ben asked about some of my other friends as well and I reminded him that Gwen and Robin were attending Cal as well.

Still, eventually the conversation worked back to me and Ryan, and I finally told him, "When it came right down to it, I just couldn't."

"Why not?"

We edged around the issue until I finally admitted, "Because ... I knew you were here."

"Dawn..." Ben looked sad for me.

"I just couldn't. Not while you're in the same zip code, Ben."

"He's your boyfriend," Ben said gently.

"YOU should be my boyfriend," I whimpered, looking at him sadly. "That's the way things were supposed to be."

"So what do you want?" Ben sighed helplessly. "You break up with Ryan and I break up with Adrienne and we fall in love and get married and pop out a few kids?"

'YES, ' I wanted to exclaim, but didn't. I wanted it desperately, but it would never happen. I turned and pushed my forehead into my palm. "Doesn't matter. You're not going to break up with Adrienne."

"No, I'm not," he stated firmly, staying loyal to his girlfriend.

Seeing his devotion, I sighed and thought about my boyfriend as well. As much as I loved Ben, I appreciated Ryan. He'd been a great boyfriend, always attentive and caring. And he'd been HERE for me when Ben wasn't. I guess my expression changed because Ben looked at me sharply and breathed, "And you don't want to break up with Ryan, either."

He was right. I didn't. I wanted them both. I wanted the love of my life, my destiny. But I wanted the big, strong man who'd held me in his arms so many times, who had comforted me and loved me and been around for me this past year. Why couldn't I have both? "Am I a bad person?" I whimpered. "When you're around, I want you so badly. And when you're not around and it's just Ryan, I feel so much for him."

I shuddered in agony. Ben reached forward and bear-hugged me, surrounding me with strength and warmth. "It's okay, Dawn. You're not a bad person. That's just being human."

My breath came in heaving gasps. I was shaking and sobbing in Ben's arms, wracked with guilt. "I'm sorry, Ben. I know I should only want you! I'm sorry..."

"No, shhh ... You have nothing to be ashamed about. I understand."

"But I'm supposed to be with you."

"Life doesn't always happen the way it's 'supposed' to."

I sobbed, not understanding my life and the way things were unfolding. Wasn't it supposed to be easier than this? Wasn't everything supposed to magically make sense when Ben and I could be together in one place again?

My breathing eventually slowed, and then without moving my face away from Ben's chest, I exhaled forlornly. "I knew it. I always knew it. At camp, I even said things would be this way. But I guess it didn't really hit me until just now."

He just patted my back.

"Here we are, at Cal, the way we always said we would be," I sighed. "Only you and I aren't the way I'd thought we would be."

"I never thought things would turn out this way either, if it's any consolation," he replied softly.

I pulled away and looked up into Ben's handsome face, searching his eyes. He would have the answers. He would think clearly for us and tell me what to do. He was my Ben. I had faith in him. "What do I have to do?"

He brushed my hair back against my scalp. I LOVED it when he did that. Looking strong and serious, he asked, "Dawn, are you my friend?"

"Yes, Ben. Forever."

"Can you be just my friend? Not my girlfriend?"

My eyes tightened but I set my lips in a determined line. "I'll be whatever I have to be."

"But can you really just be my friend?"

"I have to. I need you in my life, Ben. It physically hurts when you're nearby but I can't be around you. I was in absolute AGONY that first week of camp."

"But I'm in love with Adrienne."

I thought about what Adrienne had told me before, about loving him and keeping him busy until our time had come. I smiled, relieved at knowing she would give him back to me someday. "Then I'll wait for you."

He puckered his lips and I quivered at the thought of him kissing me. My heart raced for a second, then calmed when he kissed my forehead tenderly. "I'll always love you, Dawn. Never forget that."

"I won't."

"You have to do something for me, Dawn."

"Anything, Ben." Anything, anytime, anywhere. I LOVED him.

Ben took a deep breath. "You have to not be IN love with me."

I sighed, a long, long exhalation filled with mourning and resignation. "I know."

But knowing was one thing. DOING, on the other hand, would be a lot tougher.

AUGUST 19, 2002, SUMMER BREAK

The introductions went well. Ben looked surprisingly relaxed, smug even. I wondered if Adrienne had given him a little therapy to calm him down for this. However he managed it, his sense of calm did wonders to settle Ryan down a bit as well. My boyfriend was still edgy, but at least he was under control.

So Ben introduced Adrienne and I introduced Ryan. We chatted about personal history and the usual over a couple of beers. I had to admit I was quite proud that Ryan kept his eyes on Adrienne's face for the entire time. Even I had a hard time not ogling her fantastic tits every time I saw them.

Things got a little tense when the boys hashed out me having sex with Ben at camp, and then me having sex with Ryan last Thanksgiving. But Ben started calming things down as he explained that we would now just be friends.

"She still loves you," Ryan said stiffly.

"And I'll always love her," Ben replied. "But Dawn's my best friend, not my lover anymore. That's a boundary we won't cross, I promise you. I'm IN love with Adrienne, here."

Ryan was skeptical. So Ben finally put everything up front and in the open. "You once told me that if I let her go, you wouldn't give her back," Ben said. "Here we are. The choice is yours."

My eyebrows shot up. I didn't remember them having THAT conversation before.

Ryan took a deep breath and replied, "No. It's not."

The room went silent and you could cut the tension in the air with a dull spoon it was so thick. Ryan took a deep breath, then turned and held both of my hands in his while staring me dead in the eyes. I felt instantly nervous and under a very, very powerful microscope. "Dawn, the choice is yours," my boyfriend stated. "I love you. I know you're not in love with me, but I know you care about me and I still see the potential in 'us'. But I don't want to be trapped in a relationship if you don't really want to be with me."

My chest suddenly felt constricted, as if I couldn't breathe. My jaw was tense and my eyes clicked back and forth staring into Ryan's penetrating gaze.

"So Ben's right there, Dawn," Ryan said softly. "For the first time in a long while, you're looking at the both of us at the same time. It's no longer a choice between a live me and a phantom soul mate 500-miles away. I need to know: Do you want to be with me?"

I didn't look at Ben. We'd made our own choices together, and I was afraid that if I looked at him now I would change my mind. I had to do this quickly, before I second-guessed myself, so I took one deep breath, squeezed Ryan's hands, and said firmly, "Yes. I do."

I watched my boyfriend's eyes light up at my words. Hurriedly, he jerked on my hands and grabbed my head, planting his lips on mine and sealing us together in a passionate kiss. All of Ryan's desperate love and fear poured out at the same time as he lost himself in me. It felt good.

It felt REALLY good.

He wasn't my Ben; but it felt really good to be loved by someone. And now all my old arousal was back.

I hadn't gotten laid in a LONG time. Yeah, I'd had sex with Adrienne a couple of days ago, but I hadn't had anything nice and hard and throbbing deep inside me in far too long. Ben and I wouldn't work out just yet, but I had a big, strong boyfriend who loved me and made me feel so good. I wasn't IN love just yet, but Ryan made me happy and I knew I cared a great deal about him. Plus, he was damn good in bed.

My skin was flushed as I stared at this gorgeous hunk of a man: 6'2", muscles on top of muscles, square-jawed, and with beautiful, crystal clear blue eyes. He was my boyfriend. He was all MINE. There were no doubts about that. There were no other girls to compete with. Ryan adored me and only me. And I felt a pleasurable tingle racing up my spine as I fondly remembered all the wonderful times we'd already spent together.

I was gonna get FUCKED. No more hesitations. Ben and I had made our choices. So panting with arousal, I turned to Ben and Adrienne. "Uh, I think I'm going to go drive Ryan home now, okay?"

Ben chuckled and nodded. Adrienne chirped, "Have fun you two."

I stood up and pulled my boyfriend with me. Ryan at least had the sense of politeness to stop and turn back, saying, "It was nice to meet you, Adrienne. Ben, see you later."

And then I couldn't wait any longer. Giggling, I practically dragged Ryan out the door.

AUGUST 23, 2002, SUMMER BREAK

Mmm ... I loved my life. My boyfriend had fucked my brains out every which way every day since Monday, and I still had a house full of gorgeous women to play with. Don't get me wrong, I love men and I love cock; but there's something so sensual about another woman's touch, especially a woman who knows me so well.

I had two such women already working with me. Brandi was fully naked and lying flat on her back. An equally naked Dayna was straddling her best friend's face and oriented to lean down and fondle Brandi's upright tits. And I was happily tonguing away at Brandi's bare-shaven pussy. Not only was Brandi a dear friend and an excellent lover, but I got an extra naughty thrill knowing she was Ben's big sister. Somehow, that knowledge made her taste even sweeter.

"Ohhh, eat me, Dawn," Brandi cooed, pulling her mouth away from her best friend's snatch for a few seconds. "Dayna, I think that girl's even better than you!"

"Ha!" Dayna giggled and then shoved her cunt back into Brandi's face. I looked up to see my big sister winking at me while she tweaked the brunette's nipples. "Well, we'll have to do a comparison, won't we? After Dawn's finished with you, I'll take a turn and we'll see which Evans girl is the best rug-muncher in the family."

I picked my head up, my jaw coated with feminine nectar, and added, "Then we'll have to drive you down to get reacquainted with DJ, just to make sure."

"Hey, for all you know, our mom could be the best pussy-licker," Dayna drawled.

"Eww! Dayna!" I squealed.

And then they arrived. Ben and Adrienne finally came in to their bedroom, where the three of us roommates were already having sex. Adrienne giggled something about a plan and then raced toward us, already stripping out of her own clothes. The busty blonde bombshell practically tackled Dayna off of Brandi's face and rolled her over to do their own thing. Any further discussion of an Evans-family competition was forgotten.

Now, all my attention was on where Ben was and what he was doing.

Freed of her oral obligations, Brandi set to guiding my head between her thighs. I heard Ben moving around behind me and for a moment, fantasized about him thrusting his cock into my dripping wet snatch. Already, I was feeling even more turned on knowing he could see my naked body, glistening with sweat. I even wondered if my pussy lips were flowering open for him, giving him quite the view from my back side.

And then I felt him kiss the back of my neck. Ben kissed me with a soft tenderness that let me know he was there, and that while he might have wanted to plunge himself inside me, he wouldn't. We were still intimately connected, but ... platonic.

Instead, he moved around the bed next to Brandi's head. The beautiful Junior with dark hair and blonde highlights turned her face to eagerly suck her brother's dick. I moaned and felt a fresh surge of arousal watching the siblings' incestuous blowjob, and I smiled at Ben before resuming my cunnilingus on his sister. Our eyes stayed locked together, though, sharing a quiet moment as we double- teamed Brandi between us.

That set the tone for the rest of the night. Ben and I never touched each other again. But in a way, we still made love through the girls between us.

We started with me sitting back against the headboard, Brandi on all fours eating me out while Ben shafted his sister's cunt from behind. I felt like I was on fire, staring intensely at Ben, cramming Brandi's face a little harder against my crotch while I imagined it was MY cunt Ben was slamming into over and over and over again. "Fuck me..." I mouthed. "Fuck me..."

Harder and harder Ben pounded Brandi, his ab muscles clenching and his pelvis jarring his sister's body with each rhythmic impact. "Oh, fuck," Ben grunted, nearing his orgasm. And then with a final lunge he slammed forward and began spewing his load into... me...

I closed my eyes as I lolled my head back and moaned in orgasm. "Fuuuuuuck..." I imagined I could feel each spurt of cum ... Ben's cum ... jetting into my body. Perhaps Ben was imagining it too.

But the reality was: I couldn't feel it. I couldn't even taste it. Part of our new agreement to keep things platonic was that I wouldn't even seek out his cum, not out of Adrienne's pussy or anyone else's. To taste his cum would be "sexual contact"; and if I was really going to commit to my relationship with Ryan, I couldn't let myself do that anymore.

Instead, it was Adrienne who returned, promptly rolled Brandi over, and then dived her face between Brandi's legs to slurp out all of Ben's jism. That left Ben and I just staring at each other, recovering from our orgasms, thinking of what could have been.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

But then Dayna rolled Ben onto his back, knocking him away from looking at me. My own big sister slurped his dick into her mouth, sucking like a vacuum and bobbing her head up and down to rapidly bring him back to hardness. The process was made much faster when my big-titted sister sandwiched his cock in her double-D tits, wrapping him up in warm titflesh and fucking him with her chest. And soon Ben was recharged and ready to go.

Ben then grabbed Dayna and rolled her onto her back. He grabbed her ankles, lifted them up, and wrapped her legs around his waist before gripping her hips and ramming his dick into her juicing cunt in a single thrust.

Dayna had just barely stopped her first scream when I climbed aboard, straddling my sister's face to continue getting orally serviced. I couldn't have Ben, but I could play with whoever he WAS allowed to fuck.

This also put Ben's face just inches away from my own, as I rode my sister's lips and Ben leaned forward to continue pumping her pussy. It would be so ... easy ... to kiss him. And it was certainly tempting. But this was our test. This was our first chance to prove we could handle the boundaries of our relationship, and I wasn't going to fail him now.

So Ben and I stared at each other from just inches away, watching the contortions of ecstasy crossing each other's faces. And I stared into his eyes while feeling the sucking lips and nubile tongue swishing around my pleasure centers. Dayna was always sooo good at munching pussy.

"Eat me..." I groaned. "Eat me..." And then my eyes half-closed and I grimaced as a fresh orgasm swept through me. Ben's eyes went wide and he seemed energized watching me cumming. And he started drooling a bit while fucking Dayna even harder, staring at me and my big, wobbling tits all the while.

Eventually, I came down from my high and urged, "Switch with me, Ben."

Ben arched an eyebrow, not totally understanding. But he obeyed and gingerly slid out of Dayna's sopping wet pussy while I dismounted my sister's face. Below us, Dayna was gasping for oxygen and trembling from the latest orgasm Ben had given her. Then I moved around to take over tonguing my sister's snatch while Dayna frantically beckoned for Ben to come around to her other end.

"Fuck my tits, Ben," my slutty sister urged. "Fuck these big puppies and cum all over them. Cum on my face and spray on my tits!"

I pretty much heard more than saw the rest. Ben wound up straddling Dayna's chest for the titfuck. That put his gorgeously tight ass right in my face, egging me on while I nibbled on my sister's clit. Ben really had a NICE ass: tight and muscular, without a trace of flab. I'd lovingly caressed it more than once in my time.

I brought my sister to an orgasm, making her scream somewhere above me. Her thighs clamped around my head while my tongue wrapped around her clit. But then her focus was back to the big dick in front of her face. I didn't blame her. I would have been focused on it myself. "Do it! Cum on my face," Dayna urged. "Hose me down, Ben!"

"Arrghh!" Ben grunted, about to blow. I picked my head out of Dayna's crotch and crawled up the bed to watch the money shot. Ben was gripping her breasts tightly and thrusting uncontrollably through her mammaries. His whole body jerked as if he'd been electrocuted, and he gasped, "Fuck!" at the moment of climax.

One ropy string of jism shot out and splattered against Dayna's forehead, painting down the eyelid and onto her right cheek. Ben jerked again and a second shot ran from her chin down her throat as she angled her head away to scream in ecstasy. And then he lifted his dick from her cleavage and aimed the big thing downward as he emptied out the rest of his cum all over her chest, coating Dayna's big tits with creamy globs that splattered pretty much everywhere.

"Cumming!" Dayna screamed. "I'm cumming! Ben's cumming! On meeee!!!"

I returned back to Dayna's crotch, shoving my tongue into her twat and vibrating my entire head to prolong her orgasm. She kept going for what seemed like five minutes. But eventually the gorgeous older babe went limp on the mattress beneath me. And then I picked my head up and called to Brandi and Adrienne, "Come clean her up!"

Ben and I then moved out the way, sharing knowing smiles as Ben's sister and his girlfriend promptly pounced onto Dayna and began slurping jism off her tits with their tongues.

I watched them jealously for a moment before coming to my own resolution: This was the way things had to be. This was the choice we'd made ... together ... Ben and I hadn't lost each other. We were friends — best friends — forever. As friends, we could be eternal. And as friends, we would always have the possibility of becoming more.

Impulsively, I raised my hand up to Ben in salute, palm outward and fingers extended up like I was giving him a Native American greeting. I wasn't sure how he would react, but a second later Ben smiled and raised his hand to match mine, lining them up together. Our hands didn't quite touch; the palms never got closer than half an inch apart. It was a symbol of our relationship, and both of us smiled as we realized that no matter what else we were going through, we were still on the same wavelength together.

Still with our hands just a fraction of an inch apart, I beamed at Ben while he beamed right back at me with a happy grin. "Come on," I told my best friend. "There's one more girl to go. Let's figure out how we can double-team Adrienne."

AUGUST 30, 2002, FRESHMAN YEAR

"Pick your jaw up off the floor, Bert." I chuckled and nudged the tall but skinny Korean-American guy standing next to me. He was a decent-looking man, and with a little bit of work and a few extra pounds, I thought he could be considered quite the hunk. But he seemed to really get flustered around beautiful girls.

Right now, Felicia had just walked through the door, the gorgeous 22-year-old fashion model looking like a walking wet-dream in some slinky sleeveless dress that hugged her willowy body and ended just a scant inch below her ass. She exchanged greetings with Ben and then turned to his girlfriend, who was right beside him. "Hi, Adrienne. Thanks for the invite."

Adrienne blushed. "No problem. You should actually thank Dawn. It was her idea."

Hearing my name, I stepped forward next and exchanged hugs with Felicia. And then almost deferentially Felicia cast her eyes downward. "Thank you, Dawn," the brunette said quietly.

I fell right back into a pattern from summer camp, when Felicia was my slave and I her mistress. I didn't think either of us took it too seriously now that we weren't at camp anymore; but playing along, I condescending patted the model's shoulder and intoned, "You're welcome."

Then Adrienne collected Felicia and dragged her off to the kitchen. They definitely made for the better pair of friends. And Dayna meandered by, bumping her hip into mine. "Hey sis. I know you told me, but I never really believed it," she said while nodding toward Felicia.

I giggled. "Oh it was easy. Once Ben fucked her brains out, it was a simple matter to go in and re-wire her new brains to my liking."

Dayna and I exchanged grins and then we went off to enjoy the rest of the party. And it was a great party ... well, maybe more of a "social gathering" than "dance party". But it was early in the year and everyone was still happily in getting-to-know-you mode. Younger freshman mingled with older upperclassmen. Guys mingled with girls. And people weren't shy about meeting new strangers or asking them probing questions. Others were just looking to hook up.

Some people were a little more aggressive about it than others.

It wasn't a huge party. There were about twenty-five people in attendance, the five of us roommates plus a smattering of Dayna's and Brandi's friends. Little Paige Jacobsen, the petite redhead that Ben and Ryan had rescued earlier in the week, was also in attendance, chattering so fast it was hard to keep up. I didn't really like the girl. She had glommed onto Ben right from the beginning, following him around like a lost puppy and clearly appearing to have the mother of all crushes on him, despite the presence of his girlfriend Adrienne.

But I figured Paige would grow out of her crush eventually and besides, Ben was being Ben: wandering around on his own flirting with every pretty girl in sight. Given that most people were Dayna's and Brandi's friends, there were a LOT of pretty girls around.

There were also quite a few cute guys. The boys had to be pretty handsome or charming or something to keep up with Dayna's crew. And while I was always cognizant of Ryan's presence beside me, I did some mild flirting of my own.

Most of my time was spent with Dayna's friends. They all knew me as Dayna's little sister and the girls were eager to take me under their wing and give me advice about boys, school, and everything else under the sun. They also enjoyed flirting with my handsome stud of a boyfriend, and Ryan seemed to be enjoying the attention himself.

The problem came because the male friends ALSO knew me as Dayna's little sister. Dayna was a wild one, with a corresponding reputation for being a wild one. And unfortunately, one of the guys in particular assumed I was just like her.

At some point, the girls had brought their boys together for an organized meet and greet. Well, the boys didn't know we'd organized it, but we girls liked doing things like that to them. So Ben, Ryan, Brandi's boyfriend Matt Kanemura, and Dayna's boy toys Aaron Collins and Kevin Weiss came together for a couple of drinks and a chat. Then we girls slipped away, giggling to ourselves and speculating on what our men would end up talking about.

A few minutes later, I ended up back in my bedroom with Gwen and Robin. My friends didn't know many people and while they'd been mingling some, they felt more comfortable with me. But we'd all been drinking and nature called, so I stepped outside to use the bathroom.

I had to wait a minute, since Marian Liu was using it first. We exchanged hellos when she got out and I went in to do my thing. Afterwards, I checked my appearance in the mirror. And then I opened the door with my left hand and started out.

"Dawn! Heyyy, sugar!" a male voice called out.

I'd still been looking at the mirror and turned my head to see Aaron Collins waltzing up to me with arms outstretched as if he wanted to hug me or something. There was a goofy grin on his face and a half-empty beer bottle in his left hand. "Uh, hey, Aaron," I replied casually and then started heading back to my bedroom.

[whump]

A meaty hand came out of nowhere and plowed into the wall next to my head. Aaron had thrust his arm out to block my passage, and I jumped a little in surprise when I found him leaning over me, his breath stinking of alcohol. "Hey, I wanted to ashk you a queshtion," he slurred.

I blinked rapidly, feeling uncomfortable, but not yet threatened. Aaron was one of my big sister's boy toys. He would know better than to mess with me. I figured he was just drunk.

"Maybe later," I said and took his wrist, pulling his hand off the wall to let me pass in that direction.

"No. Now!" Aaron grunted and slammed his hand into the wall in front of me again. Then he leaned forward, putting his face just inches away from mine even though I backed up against the wall myself, having nowhere further to retreat. His left hand, beer bottle and all, came up and pushed against the wall on the other side of my head.

I was effectively trapped, and NOW I was feeling threatened. My breath sped up and my heart started racing as he leered down at my boobs. I saw a trickle of drool leak out of the corner of his mouth and start dribbling down his chin. At this angle, it would actually drop right onto upper slopes of my breasts in another few seconds. "Aaron..." I pleaded quietly.

"I jusht want to know if you've ever given your boyfriend the sishtersh-fantasy," he slurred. "'Cuz if you and Dayna have, I jusht wanted to know when it'sh MY turn!" His right hand dropped down my side, grabbing my ass and giving it a harsh squeeze.

"Hey!" Ben's voice rang out, clear as a bell. I closed my eyes and sighed with relief. He was here to rescue me. How he knew I was in trouble, I didn't know. But I just knew he'd felt my panic from wherever he was.

Aaron was suddenly yanked off me, Ben jerking his shoulder around and pushing him back a couple of feet. I'd never seen Ben so angry; it was almost scary. But if HE looked scary, Ryan looked downright terrifying. And a second later, Ryan pushed past Ben to grab Aaron by his shirt, bodily yanked the guy away, and slammed him into the opposite wall.

The commotion alerted everyone around. Some girls poked their heads out from the archway to the living room. Gwen and Robin appeared in my bedroom doorway. Ben's and Adrienne's door opened as well, with their friends looking out. And after thirty seconds of Ryan growling something unintelligible at Aaron, Dayna and some of her other friends came around as well. It felt like everyone at the party was suddenly around us.

"What's going on?" Dayna stared at Ryan and Aaron.

Ryan just physically pulled Aaron off the wall and shoved the guy towards Dayna. "Tell your boy-toy to keep his hands off my girlfriend."

Dayna's eyes went wide open in shock and anger. "Did you touch Dawn?"

"Dayna, please," Aaron mumbled.

"Did you touch her?" Dayna's voice got even louder.

"Well, I-"

"Get out," Dayna barked coldly.

"Dayna!"

"Go home, Aaron."

"Fucking bitch," the guy grunted and suddenly Dayna rushed forward, slapping the guy's face loud enough for the sound to carry through the whole house.

"Go HOME, Aaron!" Dayna's voice was the definition of 'Hell Hath No Fury'.

The guy wizened up and left. After that, most all the upperclassmen cleared out, leaving just my friends in one doorway and Ben's in the other, along with me, Ryan, Ben, and Dayna in the hallway. Ryan was protectively cuddling me beneath his arm.

"How'd you know?" Ryan asked Ben.

"Huh?" Ben looked surprised.

"How'd you know she was in trouble?" Ryan nodded down to me.

I looked over and my eyes met Ben's. Time slowed down for a moment as his eyes sparkled, while I communicated all my gratitude to him in my eyes. He smiled. I smiled. And the world once again made sense.

Ben looked back to Ryan, shrugging and saying, "I just knew."

And then Ben and I were smiling at each other again.

SEPTEMBER 2002, FRESHMAN YEAR

"You look a little frazzled today," I bumped my hip into Ben's, momentarily knocking him off balance while we trudged up the hill. He looked handsome in a short-sleeved polo shirt Adrienne had picked out for him at some boutique shop, with jeans that showed off his great ass without being too tight.

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"What? Big Ben goes a night without sex and he wakes up all cranky?" I teased. He and Adrienne had been going through roommate conflicts ever since they moved in together. Once, it was about laundry and the hamper. Yesterday, it was about grabbing the wrong Comparative Lit books. I was almost HAPPY I wasn't Ben's girlfriend. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to deal with those kinds of nitpicky problems.

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Dawn," Ben grumped.

"Hey, what good is it being your best friend if I can't tease you every now and again," I giggled.

"Dawn..." he growled.

"What? You gonna get mad at me? Come on, I'd like to see that. You're NEVER mad at me," I laughed mockingly.

"Grr!" Ben turned and dipped his shoulder, pushing it into my midsection and lifting me up. I squealed in surprise and then started laughing as Ben stood up straight with me flopped over his shoulder like a rag doll.

"Ben! Ben!" I shrieked and giggled at the same time.

"I'll show you mad!" he laughed and spanked my butt.

"Ben!" I exclaimed in surprise, feeling the warmth of sensation crawling up my ass ... and maybe a different kind of sensation in a slightly different spot as well.

Ben spanked me again. "Naughty girl!" [spank]. "This'll teach you to tease me!" [spank]

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!" I laughed and immediately he set me back down onto my feet.

"Whew..." I sighed, slightly out of breath from the excitement. I put my hands on my hips. "Sometimes I forget how strong you are."

Ben shrugged. "Fucking improves muscle tone."

"Maybe..." I grinned mischievously. I just couldn't resist teasing him some more. "But unfortunately you missed your regular workout last night."

Ben rolled his eyes and then darted forward. My eyes went wide and I turned and ran away, cackling gleefully.

Ben gave chase, and I ran at only half-speed. I kind of wanted him to catch me. I wanted him to hold me close, bend me over, spank my ass, kiss my throat, squeeze my breast, pull down my panties, and ... ohhh...

But Ben deliberately didn't quite catch me. So I kept on bobbing and weaving and giggling excitedly. I hadn't had this much fun in WEEKS as I ran in circles around a tree or a bench or up a little hill, my wonderful best friend chasing me the whole time.

And then finally, I stopped and turned right in front of Ben. He couldn't help but run into me, grab me around my waist and lift me into the air. We spun around together, laughing gaily and smiling radiantly at each other.

But at last our breaths started giving out, and I felt the strain in his arms from holding me up. I patted his shoulders and Ben looked at me longingly for the briefest of seconds. I'm not sure he even realized he was doing it. Then he set me back down, the both of us pausing to replenish our lungs with oxygen.

Smiling sweetly, I then wrapped myself around his arm and squeezed it warmly. And hand-in-hand, we set off to get to class.

OCTOBER 2002, FRESHMAN YEAR

Great, now I'm actively HELPING Ben maintain his relationship with his girlfriend.

I sighed inwardly and forced myself to focus. The most important thing was for Ben to be happy. And right now, if his relationship with Adrienne fell apart over something as stupid as video games, he would end up miserable.

Yeah, the selfish part of me hoped he and Adrienne would just break up naturally, and then I could be there to pick up the pieces. But then I didn't want to be Ben's rebound. I wanted him to really WANT to get back together with me. I wanted him to actively choose me.

Plus, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to be with Ben just yet. Ryan was being a great boyfriend. Yesterday, I'd barely noticed my feet were hurting; but Ryan noticed and without being asked, walked up and started giving me a foot- massage while I was studying. He still brought me drinks whenever he was up, knowing I was thirsty before I did. And then he'd been so sweet about not even mentioning the word 'sex' around me when my last period left me cramping and miserable.

Maybe Ben and I worked better as best friends. There were no fights. We saw each other every day. And without all the sex stuff getting in the way, I was truly getting to know him as a grown-up person. Yeah, I fell in love with his soul when we were like 4-years-old. But as friends, he'd been learning all my little foibles like my strange fixation on country music (not a common thing in the Berkeley- Oakland metro area), the fact that I was a pretty bad driver ("You're scary when you think and drive," he'd commented), and my nervous habit of picking at my cuticles.

These were all the little things we hadn't learned seeing each other only one month out of the year since we were ten; and there was a lot of catching up to do. We were becoming best friends in practice, not just in name. And I had to admit it was easier to do not having the pressures of a romantic relationship.

So I took a deep breath and focused on fixing my best friend's relationship with his girlfriend instead of thinking about getting him to re-start ours. "Ben, you've heard of the three S's?"

He shrugged. "Sure. Study, Socialize, Sleep." Ben grinned. "Pick two."

"Picking only two is for slackers. C'mon, Ben, you're smart enough and balanced enough to do all three. I am. Adrienne is. But you seem to be skipping Sleep. And for what?"

"I'm doing okay," he said defensively.

"On sleep? That's just for now; it's only been a few weeks. But if you keep this up, those lost hours will catch up to you."

Ben frowned.

"But even the sleep isn't the point. Cuddle time with your girlfriend is really important to her. There's a fourth 'S', especially for you two: Sex." Great, now I'm telling Ben he needs to improve his sex life with another girl.

Ben grinned, "The most important 'S'."

"Not for you, apparently. Adrienne says you've turned down sex a few times lately. Now THAT is not the Ben I know." I shook my head.

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying you need to stop and think about what your priorities are. And I'm saying that every relationship is built on communication. You need to talk to your girlfriend about this gaming addiction, not me."

"But-"

"No 'buts'. Talk to her."

Ben rolled his eyes. "You sound like Brandi."

"Good," I grinned. And then I put my hand on his. "We all love you, Ben. We're all looking out for you. And we won't LET you screw this up."

Ben smiled. I smiled. And I realized that I really did like this new relationship between us.

NOVEMBER 2002, FRESHMAN YEAR

Hot and sweaty, our boys returned home from the gym as victorious champions. Well, not champions, but they'd won their basketball game.

"So Ryan had his man biting on head fakes all day, and just when it was game point and we really needed a play, Ryan goes all Kobe Bryant, taking the ball at the top of the key with an eye on the basket." Bert said excitedly, waving his hands around to illustrate the positioning. "He dribbles left and then head fakes right, and-"

Robin rolled her eyes, looking at Ben. "Does he ALWAYS talk this much?" she asked in her classic Robin-esque deadpan.

Ben snorted and looked into his Coke. "You tell me. YOU started dating him."

Robin sighed and smiled at her boyfriend, who just looked hurt for a moment. Fortunately, Ryan spoke up to save the day. "Relax, Robin. Bert's just getting to the best part."

I smiled proudly at my boyfriend. He was always such a good friend to the others: polite, supportive, and loyal. He'd never throw one of them under the bus for any reason. He'd even become pretty good friends with Ben, as far as I could tell. Yeah, they didn't exactly hang out together. Fact was: Ben was my ex-boyfriend, which would be awkward enough for any guy. But since Ben and I had gone out of our way to make clear that ours was now a platonic relationship, Ryan was becoming friendlier. And basketball had been bonding them lately.

Robin looked to Ben, who nodded in confirmation, leaning in. "Bert just wants to tell you about how he made the game-winning shot. Your boyfriend's quite the athlete."

Gwen snorted. "Really?" She shook her dirty-blonde head doubtfully.

"Really," Ryan chimed in sincerely. "Game MVP. Couldn't have won it without him."

Ben nodded seriously and Robin actually cracked a smile. "Really, baby?"

"Really," Bert was beaming now. And he was even happier when Robin pulled his head to hers and pressed her lips to his.

"Aww..." I smiled and kissed Ryan's cheek. Adrienne was doing the same to Ben. And that just left Gwen and Paige to quietly simmer in jealousy.

Robin then pulled back, smiling at Bert before fixing her boyfriend with a dead- serious expression on her face. "Okay now really. How many points did you score?"

Bert blushed. "Uh, just the three."

"And how many did Ryan score?"

Bert chuckled. "Twelve. Ben had six. Matt had the other four."

"And you just played the one game?"

"Uh, no. Three."

"And how many points did you score in the other two games combined?"

"Uh, I think five."

"So you scored the least on your team?" Robin smiled.

Bert steeled his spine, picked his head up, and looked at Robin confidently. "Yeah. But they were the most important three points in the game."

We all grinned at that.

Fifteen minutes later, we were all separating to get cleaned up. Robin was taking Bert back to her place since the two of them were going out for dinner. Ben was going to take a shower. And we were sending Ryan upstairs to Dayna's and Brandi's bathroom at the same time.

Ryan had stashed his backpack in my bedroom while the boys had gone to the gym, and he went in to retrieve a change of clothes and his towel. When we came out, the door to Ben's and Adrienne's bedroom opened up and the pair of them came out wearing nothing but their towels, arms around each other and giggling.

This time, Ryan couldn't resist ogling Adrienne's spectacular body. The towel wasn't nearly big enough for her 5'10" frame, the top barely high enough to cover her nipples while letting those massive tits bulge out the top. The bottom didn't quite cover her asscheeks, the last inch or so of her globes curving downward in the naked air.

If Adrienne noticed Ryan's stare, she didn't react. Her eyes were all on Ben as they went into the bathroom together, giggling the whole time.

My own eyes were on the half-naked pair as well. I could already imagine what they'd be up to in the shower together, and I could imagine what WE'D be up to in the shower. So moving up alongside my boyfriend, rubbing his bulging bicep, I murmured in a husky voice, "That looks like a good idea. Gimme a second to grab a towel."

I started moving away but Ryan grabbed my arm. "Wait. No!" he hissed and looked around nervously as if we weren't the only ones around. The house was completely deserted except for the four of us, and Ben and Adrienne were already in the bathroom.

"Why not?" I frowned. "Don't you want me to wash your back?"

"No, not really."

I pouted. "C'mon. Don't you remember when I gave you a blowjob in your shower back home?"

"That was back home," Ryan stammered, still looking around nervously. "This is... here. I'm just not comfortable."

"Ryan-Ryan-Ryan," I sighed. "There's nobody around."

"People could still hear us. This place has paper-thin walls."

"So? The only ones who might hear us are Ben and Adrienne. I assure you that they don't care."

"Well, I care," he said defensively, clutching his bag over his body like he was ashamed to show me his body.

I rolled my eyes in sudden annoyance and pushed him away. "FINE. Go. Don't want to keep you waiting."

He realized he'd upset me. Ryan was DEATHLY afraid of ever upsetting me. "Dawn ... please..."

"No, no," I waved him off. "Go take your shower. I'll be right here." I shrugged and turned back into the living room.

Ryan watched me go for a second. And then I heard his footsteps going up the stairs.

I flopped onto the couch while Adrienne's giggles and then moaning started to waft out of the bathroom. Ben's grunting soon followed.

Rubbing my temples with my fingertips, I cursed my prudish boyfriend and sighed, trying not to imagine what Ben and Adrienne looked like beneath the shower's spray.

DECEMBER 2002, FRESHMAN YEAR

"Wait, WHAT?" Ben blinked several times, not quite believing what Adrienne had just told us.

"Come ON, Tiger. It'll be fun!" Adrienne said gleefully. "And I want to watch!"

"So do I!" Ben protested.

I chuckled to myself, imagining a blindfolded Ben frantically darting his head left and right, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Pssht. That would defeat the whole purpose." Adrienne shook her head. "And it's not like you aren't used to me blindfolding you."

"C'mon, Ben," Dayna drawled. "Isn't a blindfold a small price to pay for fucking a bunch of hot girls?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "It's no fun if I don't know WHO it is. I figured that out last time," he glared at Adrienne. "It was interesting, yeah. But I'm not just a living dildo to be used by a faceless stranger. I like some emotional connections with a girl, you know?"

Dayna sighed but shrugged. "It's your call. You don't have to be there. But we're gonna kick you out of the house on Saturday."

I decided to pipe up. "If you're uncomfortable, Ben, I'll hang out with you. We'll go visit the others somewhere. Maybe even drive out and spend the day in San Francisco or something." I had been thinking to ask Ryan to do this for me, but if Ben wasn't going to be there, then a double date with Ryan and Adrienne might be fun instead.

But then Ben barked in alarm, "Wait, are YOU staying, Adrienne?"

Adrienne sighed. "If you're not there, no. I wanted to play with some of the girls and watch you..." She exhaled. "But, if you don't want to do this, I'll hang out with you guys, too."

The disappointment in Adrienne's voice was obvious. Ben's face fell as he heard it, and I watched the gears turning in his brain. Clearly, his girlfriend wanted to do this, not for the guys but for the other girls, oddly enough. That warranted its own conversation until Dayna started commenting about how girls got just as horny as boys.

"People look at us as sluts if we act on our feelings like boys would," Dayna said. "This is a chance for the girls to cut loose and enjoy themselves without fear of how a guy will look at them afterwards or give them any negative reputations. Plus ... yeah, you're living dildos; but you're also gonna get to fuck a dozen hot chicks. Everybody wins."

Adrienne added, "And it's just a blindfold. You'll have free use of your hands and everything else. You can feel and touch and everything. Just keep your mouth shut if you figure out who any of them are."

Brandi chimed in. "Look at the bright side. We're actually asking you and giving you the option of agreeing or disagreeing instead of just dragging you into this. It's really your call."

Ben took a deep breath and looked at Adrienne, who had such a hopeful expression on her face. And after another moment's thought, he started nodding. "Okay. I'm in."

Brandi snorted. "Don't seem so depressed about it."

Ben chuckled and then furrowed his eyebrows. Then he looked straight at me. "Ryan in on this?"

I blushed. The girls had told me their plan yesterday, and I was thinking it would be pretty fun. The simple fact was that I had not had any male lovers except for Ben and Ryan (Mark had ceased to exist in my mind). And Dayna was right on point about the desire to cut loose a little bit without being labeled a slut. I took a deep breath and answered, "Not yet. But if you're in, I will be asking him." Then a little sadly I added, "Our relationship has needed a little spice in it anyways."

Ben nodded thoughtfully, watching me intently. I was sure he could see right through to my heart, sure that he would recognize the horny bitch inside me that wanted to go wild and crazy, even if just once in my life. Ben didn't judge me. I already knew he accepted me and accepted this curiosity of mine. Of course, I'd only had two lovers and he more than I could count. He had no place to judge.

And I sighed at the rut my relationship with Ryan had fallen into. He was a sweet, generous, wonderful boyfriend. It's just that he could get ... boring ... sometimes. There was just no spontaneity in our relationship anymore.

Maybe this would shake him up a bit.

I was nervous as hell when I walked into that room, wearing a simple bra and panties. At first, I'd thought of wearing something slinky or sexy; but then Dayna reminded me that all the boys would be blindfolded and couldn't see a damn thing.

Still, I wore something nice. There would still be nine other girls who COULD see me, and I wanted to look good for them, too.

At first it was just me, Dayna, Brandi, and Adrienne. The six boys were spread around the living room, either on couches or comfy chairs pushed against the wall. Dayna marched to the middle of the room with an imperious tilt of her head, and she laid down the rules. "Rule 1: You do NOT remove your blindfold. You do and there will be a LOT of pissed off girls who will make sure you never get laid in this town again. Rule 2: The girls are in charge. You stop if they tell you to stop. Rule 3: You only exist as living dildos for us. If you get too worn out to continue, we will escort you out. No sense in spending more time risking you learning the girls' identities. Rule 4: No names. Even if you manage to identify a girl, don't say her name out loud. And the girls won't say your names, either. And Rule 5: You all swallow these."

I put a water bottle and two pills into Ryan's hand. He turned his face toward me when the bottle touched him, and I instinctively shrank away from the blindfolded man, even though he was my boyfriend. Unable to see me, he then slowly panned left and right, trying to relocate me as I realized I'd pulled the bottle and pills away from him. Nervously, I put them back. One was a tablet of ecstasy to loosen the boys up and make them susceptible to our touches. Some of the girls had taken them, too. The other was Cialis to keep the boys hard.

After checking to make sure all six boys had dutifully swallowed their pills, Brandi went to the stairs and called up, "Ready!"

Angela Chan, Monique St. Claire, Kerri Trainor, Julie Carpenter, Marian Liu, and Tracy McMillan all trooped down wearing nothing but lingerie. Then we girls fanned out, and the party began.

For comfort, I started next to my boyfriend. I wasn't yet sure how to approach another man, not even sure I wanted to go through with this. Dayna was right: even girls get horny and want to fuck. But we like a little personal connection to go along with it, and my instincts were resisting this plan to experiment around.

Julie Carpenter also came over by me. I knew the pretty brunette girl had a thing for my boyfriend, and she was grinning almost over-excitedly as she approached. The older girl reached for my hand, squeezing it gently while her eyes questioned whether or not I was really okay with this.

Could I watch my boyfriend fuck another girl? Yeah. I'd seen Ben do it enough times, with my own sisters, Gwen, and Felicia. It was just sex. Ryan didn't even know who the girls were, so I really wasn't concerned with him losing his attachment or affection for me.

I was more worried about me fucking another guy.

But that was for later. Right now, Julie had put her hands on Ryan's thighs, stroking them firmly. Ryan was panting softly, looking nervous as all hell. He clearly could tell that it wasn't my touch, and he tensed up when Julie reached for his shorts.

"Relax, babe," I soothed into his ear. "I'm right here. And I'm totally okay with this."

Ryan relaxed enough, and he turned his face to me. Impulsively, I leaned down to kiss him, and he welcomed me eagerly. We kissed with the familiarity of old lovers, his tongue exploring the inside of my mouth. But just when I started to relax, Ryan tensed up again and pulled his head back, grunting urgently.

I looked down to see that Julie had completely swallowed Ryan's cock, fully seven-and-a-half inches of turgid man meat right down her throat with her lips sealed around the base. "Oh, shit!" I gasped in surprise.

This was it. I was watching my boyfriend getting sucked. And I had to admit ... It turned me on.

I found that my hand was absent-mindedly rubbing my own crotch through my panties, and I leaned in to whisper into Ryan's ear. "Feel good, babe? You've got a pretty girl with her mouth wrapped around your dick. And it isn't me."

"Unnghhh..." Ryan groaned. He did very well at professing his love for me, keeping his eyes from straying and being steadfast in his loyalty. But he was still a male, with a male's instincts to spread his seed. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was more turned on right now than he'd been with me in over a month, just knowing he was getting sucked off by someone else.

I kinda wondered just who he was fantasizing about though...

Meanwhile, I looked over to see Tracy McMillan going down on Ben while Adrienne egged her on. I realized that there was even less jealousy in me than I would feel over Ryan. Ben was just a sexual creature, and monogamy wasn't in his DNA. Even if we did get married someday, I knew that I would never be his only lover. I might put him on a tighter leash, but he would always roam.

Elsewhere, the boys were getting into action a little faster. Brandi's boyfriend Matt was already flat on his back on one of the mattresses while Dayna was straddling his waist, obviously bouncing up and down his cock. Marian Liu was sitting on his face at the same time, and Dayna was presently leaning forward to tweak the much smaller girl's perky titties.

On another mattress, Alan Kwok was leaning over Angela Chan, plowing her good. Kevin Weiss was with Monique St. Claire. And Brett Benson was with Brandi. Heck, Adrienne had left Ben and was dyking it out with Kerri Trainor nearby. It seemed that I was the only one not doing something.

I rather nervously looked around the room. Just what did I want to do? More to point, WHO did I want to do? Ryan was the obvious choice. But then, I could fuck him any time and did I really want to deny him a chance with another girl? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity for the both of us. Ben ... Ben was off limits. Ben was off limits.

Ben was off limits.

I sighed ... Ben was off limits. Don't even GO there, Dawn.

But Ryan will never know.

But YOU will.

I sighed. Ben was off limits.

Matt Kanemura was pretty hunky. I really liked his features and Dayna was certainly enjoying herself right now. While I'd never be quite so ... slutty ... as my older sister, I could appreciate her taste in men. And for that matter, Kevin would likely be a wonderful partner because of Dayna.

Alan was pretty cute. And Brett was certainly well-built. Oh, what to do...

"FUCK! FUUUUCK! FUUUUCK!!!" Tracy started yelling. Every other girl had kept words out of her mouth, only moaning or whimpering. Even Julie had started humping up and down my boyfriend's pole, her bra-clad tits rubbing against his chin as his thick cock spread its first pussy that wasn't mine. But she only moaned quietly while absorbing the sensations.

I smirked. Leave it to Ben to drive a girl so completely up the wall that she forgot herself. And then my hunky best friend slumped on top of the athletic blonde, grunting into her ear as they chatted quietly, clearly both enjoying the aftermath of their orgasms.

Okay, fuck this indecision. I'm going to get laid.

I decided to start slowly, working myself up to my comfort level. From what I gathered, everyone in the room had done some wild and crazy sexual shenanigans at some point in their lives except me. While they might never have done something quite this outrageous, the closest to an orgy I'd ever gotten was that Thanksgiving when Ben gave me to Ryan for the first time.

So I approached Julie Carpenter after my boyfriend had nutted a load into her. She was dizzy from her own orgasm, panting softly, and I pulled her away from him before brushing her hair back and looking deep into her eyes.

Clearly aroused, she invited me in before I kissed her. And with that little icebreaker out of the way, I worked my lips down her body, unclasping her bra and then nursing on her swollen nipples.

"Mmm, you've done this before," she murmured.

I looked up at her and smiled. "I've got a little bit of Dayna in me," I whispered so that only she could hear.

Julie grinned and then started working my lingerie off as well. She quickly pulled us into a sixty-nine on our sides, but I rolled her on top of me and parked my lips in her shaven crotch so I could begin to lap out my boyfriend's spending from her stretched pussy lips.

My tongue feathered in and around Julie's labia. She had a very pretty pussy, if I had to say so myself. She was very clean and neat and her juices tasted quite sweet whenever I wasn't sucking down a creamy glob of Ryan's cum. The aromas and sounds of fucking all around me soon took over, and I closed my eyes and lost myself to the bliss.

I didn't even realize I'd given Julie an orgasm until I blinked and found my face soaked with a fresh layer of girlcum. Her thighs were squeezing my head and a few seconds later, I was moaning into her crotch as I released a flood of my own. And when we were done, I turned my head out to look at her and grinned, "You've done THAT before."

Julie giggled. "Many times ... Sometimes I think I love fucking girls more than guys. Sometimes..."

I just grinned and then looked around. Time to get laid. But even now, my mind was working. Purely on physical attraction, I probably would have picked Matt. I liked his exotic look, but at the same time, I knew he was Brandi's boyfriend. The other girls might be able to fuck him and never think twice about it, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it and then still be "normal" around him the next day. Even if he never knew it was me, I would know. Most likely, I'd be seeing a lot of Matt as he visited the house to see his girlfriend, and I would just feel WAY too weird about it. The same went for Kevin. How could I be around my sister's boyfriend after this?

So that left only Alan Kwok and Brett Benson. Both were Seniors and would be graduating next Spring. Both were handsome, virile men. And I wouldn't have to be around them nearly as much as the others.

Two guys were plenty; that would double my experience. Two guys, near- strangers, I could handle. And at the moment, Brett looked like he was available as Brandi had left him gasping after their fuck.

So gathering up my courage, I patted Julie's ass and then got up, moving over to the slightly panting, well-built older man. Brett had cum recently and was just enjoying the afterglow of anonymous sex, not even bothering to try looking out through his blindfold as he just sagged against the overstuffed armchair and panted slowly.

But when I purred in his ear and started walking my fingers up his leg, he turned and blindly smiled in my direction. I wrapped my hand around his semi-hard cock, stroking experimentally, and a tingle of power went down my spine as the cute guy groaned in pleasure.

This could be fun.

"I'd like to wait for ... uh ... you know," Ryan muttered softly. Clearly, my boyfriend wanted to wait for me.

I felt a pang of guilt hearing him say that. Even though he'd just fucked three or four or however many girls who weren't me, even in the middle of a crazy blindfolded orgy like this, he was still loyal to me. Ryan loved me with all his heart, and I felt like I'd betrayed him.

True, I hadn't let either Brett or Alan cum inside me. It was a mental thing I'd told myself not to let them do, saving that as sacred for my boyfriend. I'd swallowed Brett and let Alan spray my tits. That part had been extra fun since Angela Chan had come over and licked me clean. Then of course I had to lick her clean. And ... well, you get where I'm going. I think I spent more time with the girls than with the guys.

Still, I felt a little guilty. My body was supposed to belong to my boyfriend. But then again, what was good for the goose was good for the gander, and Ryan's body certainly hadn't belonged to me for the past couple of hours. Besides, I was still red hot and horny and flushed from some of the most amazing orgasms I'd ever experienced since ... well ... since Ben.

Speaking of Ben, he was in the middle of a threesome, still plugging away. Leave it to Ben to keep going and going and going like an Energizer Bunny. Hell, I figured he'd outlast ALL the girls, even if all ten of them ganged up on him. As it was, Brandi, Julie, and Angela had all called it a night by now. Only Matt, Kevin, and Ben were still functional from the guys.

My eyes glazed over slightly as I watched Ben's muscular body thrusting down into Tracy's sodden snatch. Unlike Ryan, Ben had more of a wiry strength, not really bulky at all. But his muscles were well-defined, built for endurance more than raw power.

Tracy was built very much the same. The athletically-built girl had her strong legs wrapped around Ben's waist, tugging him into her with each thrust. She actually had six-pack abs that flexed as she hunched her hips to meet him each time. And the other Energizer Bunny of the group, Marian, was sitting on Tracy's face, wriggling and making cute little "Eep!" noises like she could continue on for another 24-hours.

I was drawn to the fucking threesome. Even blindfolded, Ben stared down at the girls beneath him purposefully, almost as if he could see the way Tracy's big, firm tits wobbled with each thrust. I thought back to the times he stared at me the same way, such raw intensity in his eyes. No one had ever looked at me the way Ben could do sometimes. His brown eyes were just so expressive, communicating his love and lust and passion for me all at once. It was a shame — for Tracy — that she was deprived of the chance to see him looking at her that way.

And it was so unbelievably arousing to watch Ben fucking the pretty blonde into the floor. Watching their two muscular bodies humping away, plus the added eroticism of Marian "eeping" and humping Tracy's face, was such a turn-on. And I found myself absentmindedly rubbing my own tits and snaking a hand down to my crotch as I heatedly watched them going at it.

"Mmmm..." I moaned softly.

A hand beat me to my own crotch, though. Kerri was beside me, leaning in to rub her own well-formed tits against my arm while she snaked her right hand down to diddle my clit. I moaned and turned my face into the crook of her neck, gasping with pleasure while keeping my eyes on Ben fucking Tracy's brains out. Kerri then wrapped her left arm around my body to cup my breast from the other side, the both of us moaning now as we watched the fucking threesome come to their climaxes.

Marian was first. Tracy popped a finger up the petite Chinese girl's ass, and she screamed at such a high-pitch we actually stopped hearing it. I'm sure a dog started wailing somewhere down the block. And then Marian toppled off, flat on her back as Angela moved forward to help her friend.

Tracy was next. Her ab muscles rippled as her entire lower body jerked and then trembled with her climax. She gritted her teeth and then let out a keening wail of completion. At the same time, her legs clamped around Ben, trapping his cock at full depth inside of her. And Ben jerked as well as his mouth dropped open and a guttural grunt escaped his mouth. From the tension in his neck, I was sure he was flooding her pussy with his latest load of spunk.

"Aaaaagh!" Tracy gasped.

"Urggghh!" Ben grunted. And then their two bodies slowly came to a halt.

When he finished busting his nut, Ben rolled onto his back, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. But my eyes weren't on him anymore. I picked my face out of Kerri's neck and stared, enraptured by the sight of a creamy trickle oozing out between Tracy's thighs.

It was cum. It was Ben's cum. He was my drug. He was my addiction. "Please," I said hungrily before my brain caught up to what I was saying. "I want it." And then I was crawling forward to put myself between Tracy's legs.

Just then, my brain DID catch up and my eyes flew wide open. Ben had HEARD that! And I clapped my hands over my mouth.

Marian shifted to the side and sat up, looking back and forth between me and Ben. "Relax," she said. "He can't see you."

I blinked twice and then without pausing another second to think about it, I ducked my head down. CUM. Ben's cum. I wanted it. I needed it. And as I tasted the familiar flavor against my tongue, I hummed happily and immediately started hoovering out every droplet I could find.

I could feel a part of Ben's soul touching mine. This was heaven. So good. So FUCKING good...

And then I tasted MORE.

My eyes fluttered open as I felt the thick cock stretching my lips wide. I hummed happily again as more and more of his semi-hard cock — Ben's cock — pushed into my mouth. I didn't know how I'd gotten over here and I didn't really care. I let the bliss carry me away into la la land as I luxuriated in the ecstasy of sucking on my Ben's cock.

A gasp of surprise shook me from my reverie. I blinked and glanced around to see Adrienne, Ben's girlfriend, with a look of shock on her face. She'd clapped both hands over her mouth and her hazel eyes were open wide as she stared at me. And only then did I realize just what it was I was doing.

Oh, SHIT. I couldn't believe I'd sucked on Ben's cock. Actually, I was STILL sucking on his cock. It was still in my mouth and I was loathe to pull off him. Yeah, this was a swinging party, and other girls had done much more than I had to Ben. But Adrienne knew and I knew that I shouldn't be doing this. We'd agreed that I wouldn't be doing this. But I WANTED to do this. And I pleaded with Adrienne for understanding while apologizing with my eyes.

Then I felt Ben's hands running through my hair, simultaneously keeping my mouth around his dick and subtly encouraging me to continue. All he knew was that there was a girl's warm mouth sucking his dick and he wanted her to continue. I wanted to continue. And then Kerri was next to me, husking softly, "Go on. Fuck him. You know you want to."

I moaned, sucking a little harder on Ben's prick, which was rock hard and ready for copulation.

"I'll sit on his face," Kerri whispered. Then her voice dropped and I could barely make out the rest. "Just keep yourself quiet and he won't know it's you."

I moaned once more, squeezing my eyes shut as my jaw trembled around Ben's thick shaft. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this. I wanted to. GAWD DAMMIT I wanted to! But Ben was my friend. Ryan was my boyfriend. My conscience couldn't take this anymore. Abruptly, I pulled away and turned my head to Kerri. In a panic, I whimpered, "I can't. I can't do this to Ryan."

"We'll never tell," Kerri said quietly.

I shook my head, glancing one last time at Ben. The weight of the wrongs I'd already committed weighed down on me. Quieting down so that Ben couldn't hear me, I moaned forlornly, "I probably shouldn't have even sucked him."

"But ... You love him," Kerri said simply.

My heart cracked. The tears flooded my eyes. And without another word, I got up and ran away..

87 Dawn's Story ll

DECEMBER 2002, WINTER BREAK

"I think we need to talk about that night," Ryan said out of the blue. We were sitting in his car, parked on that frontage road off 101 with a nice view of the San Mateo Bridge across the bay. It had been another quiet evening. Nothing was particularly wrong about it, but we'd been far less talkative with each other for the past week.

I already knew exactly which night he was talking about. Neither of us had even mentioned Dayna's blindfold party since it ended. I didn't ask if he enjoyed it. He didn't ask if I enjoyed it. I didn't ask how many girls he was with. He didn't ask me how many guys I was with. Maybe he thought I already knew exactly what he'd done, since I hadn't been blindfolded. Maybe he just didn't want to think about me with any other guys.

One thing was for certain. The party hadn't added any spice to our relationship. If anything, it had just made the whole thing far less stable. We weren't fighting over it or anything...

... But we weren't talking. Period.

I exhaled slowly and nodded. "Yeah. We do."

"Did you enjoy yourself?" he asked me warily, afraid of my answer.

I thought of my Sapphic caresses with Julie, Angela, and Kerri. I thought of fucking Alan and Brett. And I thought of Ben. I had been so thrilled while I had those moments to touch him, to feel him throbbing deep inside my mouth. But the mental anguish over it all wasn't worth that momentary happiness. I grimaced and looked down. And instead of answering him, I asked, "Did you?"

"I asked you first," he hedged.

I sighed and collected myself. "It had its moments. But if I could go back in time and make the choice again, I don't think I would have done it."

"Why not?"

Because it's torture to be this close to Ben and yet not truly be WITH him, I thought to myself. That was the whole point of our agreement not to make any sexual contact with each other. The temptation wouldn't be fair to either of us. It wasn't Ben's fault. I'd broken the rules. And I'd gotten hurt while he was probably oblivious to the whole thing.

But I couldn't tell Ryan that. I just winced and said, "It wasn't what I thought it would be."

Ryan nodded in agreement and looked forward, squeezing his hands a little tighter around the steering wheel.

"You?" I asked.

"Same. Wasn't what I thought it would be." He took a deep breath. "I admitted I was curious. When you first proposed this crazy thing, my conscience immediately said that we didn't need this. I love you Dawn, and only you."

"I know," I replied softly, closing my eyes in shame.

"But ... I was intrigued. It's not every day a guy gets asked by his girlfriend to fuck a bunch of other girls. I was horny. I admit that I wanted it. And while it was happening, I was thrilled."

"I know," I said softly again. I remembered the groans of pleasure and the expressions on his face, even through the blindfold. "You looked more turned on than you'd been with me since October, Ryan."

He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I shook my head. "That was the point. It was just sex."

"I'm so sorry..."

I grumped, "Ryan, seriously. Stop with the apologizing. You were allowed to enjoy yourself."

"But you didn't."

"I did. I did," I waved. "There were parts that I enjoyed. I was certainly horny and turned on. And I had lots of nice orgasms. But it wasn't worth it. I'm not saying I totally regret going to that party. It was an experience I'll never forget, that's for sure. But it all just amounted to throwaway sex. It was meaningless. It was ... soulless fucking. And there's a limit to how much I could enjoy myself knowing that."

"Exactly!" Ryan sat up eagerly, excited for the moment. "Dawn, I love you. And as physically pleasurable as it all was, it didn't MEAN anything to me. It was an experience, sure. But it's not one that I'd ever want to repeat. With the blindfold and everything, I just felt kind of ... used, you know? I mean, I'm not a girl, but I do know what it feels like to be ogled as a piece of meat. And getting fucked while I don't even know who I'm with just felt, yeah, soulless."

I reached over and squeezed his hand. "Are you upset with me for talking you into going?"

"Dawn, no." Ryan looked at me softly. "I understood why you did. And I don't regret it. If anything, that night made me remember just how special you are to me."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Then why have you been so tense around me?" I exhaled. "I thought I'd ruined our relationship!"

"Ruined? No!" Ryan squeezed my hand back. "I'm sorry, Dawn. I thought YOU were mad at me. I definitely could tell you were a little unnerved after the whole thing. I was convinced you didn't enjoy yourself at all. And that made me feel sooo guilty for enjoying even a little bit. I didn't want you to get the impression I was all excited and happy and wanted to do it again right away."

I barked a short laugh of relief. "Is THAT it? You've been so cold and distant because you were worried I was mad at you?"

Ryan stammered nervously, "Uh, well, yeah."

I chuckled and quickly scooted across the bench seat, wrapping my man up in my arms. "Oh, Ryan. I thought you were mad at ME!"

He chuckled and squeezed me tight. "Oh, Dawn. I love you. I could never be truly mad at you."

I rolled my eyes and pecked his lips. "I'm gonna remember you said that."

He gave me a lopsided grin and said, "Sure thing. Just do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"The next time you're worried our relationship is getting stale, let's just talk about it and figure out how we can spice things up ourselves. Okay?"

I shook my head in disbelief. 6'2", handsome, muscular, gorgeous blue eyes, and the softness of a teddy bear. I had the perfect man.

"Okay, Ryan. Okay."

JANUARY 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

I was floating on air as I walked with Ben up to our first class of the new semester. And for perhaps the first time, it had absolutely nothing to do with Ben himself.

I was falling in love.

I mean, I had always cared for Ryan. He'd been my boyfriend for over a year, and I'd grown to be quite attached to him. I had HATED feeling so lonely for those months when I was Ben's girlfriend but we were 500 miles apart. I'd been horny and even the best efforts of Brandi and my sisters hadn't been enough to keep me satisfied. And Ryan's arrival in my life had been so amazingly wonderful. He was kind and considerate and passionate. I'd gotten very used to his presence in my life, so much so that when he worked his ass off to get into Berkeley, JUST to be with me, I couldn't help but feel flattered and a little obligated. He'd given me so much and expected so little in return.

I'd stayed with Ryan so far because I needed him. I couldn't have Ben, and I would have gone crazy without having someone with me. The fact was: it felt really good to be loved. Yeah, I felt a little guilty for using him, stringing him along until Ben was ready for me. But I was weak. I was lonely. And Ryan gave me his entire world without pressure. He knew I didn't love him, but he kept trying anyways.

And this winter, he'd started to make me see that he really could make me happy. He visited my family for Christmas and brought me to his as well. Mom and Dad really took a shine to him, Ryan being polite and helpful and having excellent manners. He wasn't Ben, but then no one but Ben ever would be; my parents knew that.

For the first time, I started to think about a future with Ryan. He was hard-working, even if he wasn't the most apt student. He was graduating in another year and a half, on track to get a good job with a good career. And I didn't have to worry about him being a bum or financially being a burden to me. He didn't drink much and stayed away from drugs. He was an All-American Ken doll, and I couldn't find a major flaw in him. Thousands of girls would kill to land a prize like him for a husband.

We certainly looked good together, and I had a tingle of hope that we'd make beautiful blonde, blue-eyed babies someday. I even tossed around a few boy's names that started with 'R'. Nothing serious, but I was considering them.

And most importantly of all, Ryan made me feel good. Physically, he was a kind and considerate lover. He gave me wonderful orgasms and I felt so warm and protected in his strong embrace. He was a skillful masseuse too, and enjoyed giving me massages almost as much as I enjoyed getting them.

Emotionally, he was a wonderful listener without being a pest about it. He was available to me anytime I needed. He did a good job keeping his anger in check and we rarely had fights. We had compatible temperaments and enjoyed each other's company.

He had been perfect in every way but one: he wasn't Ben.

But Ben had Adrienne. Ben had a dozen other girls in his orbit. And Ben was still my best friend even though we were with different people. Maybe that's how things should be between us. Not having romantic complications certainly had made our relationship easier in many ways. And sometimes I wondered just why I was so obsessed with him. Was it because I was used to being in love with Ben? Or was I really in love with the IDEA of Ben? He was my destiny, right? At least, that what my parents had always told me.

Maybe it was time I opened my eyes and really took a hard look around me. Maybe it was time I really evaluated what I wanted to do with my life and with my future? The past was past. Nothing was going to go back and change that. But moving forward, WHO could really make me the happiest?

Ben understood me and loved me like we were already family. But he would forever have girls pulling at him and he would always be fighting his own temptations to stray. On the other hand, Ryan was ever-loyal and committed. Ten years down the road, which kind of guy would I prefer?

I hadn't ruled Ben out. I hadn't decided I would be with Ryan forever.

But ... I started to think about it. And the more I thought about it, the more I let Ryan into my heart.

And the more I let Ryan in, the more attentive he became, if that was even possible. For almost an entire month of Winter Break, it was just Ryan and me. No Ben. No school. No outside distractions. Just me and my boyfriend.

And I was falling in love.

That and I'd had such a wonderful orgasm this morning. It was the first Monday of the new semester, and I'd spent the last night of our Winter Break at Ryan's place in Hayward, taking the BART to school with him. I'd woken up early to find him grinding his big cock against my ass in his sleep, and feeling warm and cozy in his strong arms, I'd reached back to start stroking him with my hand.

Well, he woke up pretty fast. And a few minutes later my big, strong boyfriend was pinning me to the mattress with his turgid cock buried to the hilt inside me, filling me up so nicely. Missionary had always been my favorite position. I'd simply loved to feel my man's weight crushing me down, his bare chest against my big tits. And I came so beautifully when I felt Ryan's hot jism splashing down inside me.

I still had his spunk swimming around inside me right now, actually. And I giggled to myself as Ben and I headed up to class.

"You're in a good mood," Ben grumped, not quite awake.

"Yeah, I am," I smiled radiantly. But I tamped down on the smile. If I continued, Ben would ask me WHY I was in such a good mood, and I really didn't want to tell him it was because I'd gotten so wonderfully laid that morning. I just figured Ben wouldn't want to hear about that sort of thing.

I didn't have to worry. Ben was so out of it that he barely noticed. For all I knew, HE was so sleepy because he'd been up all night fucking Adrienne's brains out as well. Or Brandi's ... Or Dayna's ... Or all three of them ... That was just Ben being Ben.

In fact, Ben fell asleep in the middle of class. I rolled my eyes when he started drooling, and a naughty idea popped into my head. I knew I'd promised him I wouldn't do it anymore, but I was in such a goofy mood that I simply couldn't resist.

I moved my ball point pen over to his right hand ... centered it into position ... and DOWN!

"HRRRK!" Ben gritted his teeth just in time to prevent himself from screaming in the filled auditorium. His eyes flew wide open and he looked down at his hand as if he expected blood to be spurting out of it like a fountain.

Then he turned and glared at me.

I just grinned and turned forward to face the doddering, old professor as he wrapped up and dismissed the first class of the new semester.

Ben was still annoyed with me after we exited the building. Once we got some distance between us and anyone else, he grabbed my hand and jerked me to a stop. "Dawn, you promised you wouldn't do that anymore!" Ben hissed.

I smiled impishly at my best friend. "You should know better than to think I'll never poke you with my pen for the rest of our lives; I only keep real promises."

"Real promises?" He rubbed his sore hand while scowling in annoyance. "What, you mean how you kept your promise to Ryan not to stick my dick in your mouth?"

Holy SHIT! Ben KNEW? My eyes flew WIDE open and I gasped in absolute shock and terror, cupping a hand over my mouth.

Ben winced and grabbed my hand, instantly looking apologetic. "Oh. Dawn. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said anything, but-"

"You knew?" I cut him off.

Ben sighed. "At Dayna's blindfold orgy? Yeah. I'm sorry. I wasn't intending to say anything."

I paled and asked, "How?"

"It's ... it's you, Dawn. Of course I knew." He looked away from me in shame.

I was still freaking out. Ohmigod-ohmigod-ohmigod. If Ben knew, who else knew? Well, DUH, all the girls who SAW you. Oh, SHIT! What if Ryan found out? "You won't tell Ryan, will you?" I whimpered.

Ben snapped his head around. "What? No! Of course not."

I saw the honest concern in Ben's eyes and relaxed, realizing that he would NEVER do anything like that if he knew it would hurt me. He probably would never have told me he'd figured it out if he hadn't been seething in pain and anger over the pen-thing. Looking apologetic, I gripped both of his hands and stepped in closely to my best friend. "I'm so sorry, Ben."

He snorted, his eyes rolling away as he seemed to be thinking of that night. "No need to apologize to me. I just kinda wish you'd finished me off."

"But it's not fair to you," I whimpered. "I don't know what I was thinking, but I shouldn't have done it. I cut you off from doing anything sexual with me and I can't be just ... taking from you when you're helpless like that and then cutting you off again."

"Dawn, Dawn. Relax. I'm fine." He looked me firmly in the eyes and then sighed. "Yeah, that whole night made me want you again, I'll admit. But that's just hormones and sex. You're still my best friend. You're still my Dawn."

"You're still my Ben," I said sweetly, blinking rapidly. He would ALWAYS be my Ben, my best friend. Even if I ultimately wound up with Ryan.

Then Ben grinned a little shit-eating grin. "And I have to admit, it's kinda nice knowing you still want me like that."

The smile vanished off my face. I was falling in love with Ryan. I didn't want to lead Ben on because really, I was starting to think that Ryan was my future, and I didn't want Ben to think that I wanted him like that anymore. "But we can't be together like that Ben, remember?"

He sighed and nodded. "I know, I know." Then he reached his hands up to my shoulders, twisting me in the direction of our next class while simultaneously sliding himself behind me. And then holding onto my hips gently, I felt him lean in and tenderly kiss the back of my neck.

"You're my Dawn ... forever."

Forever. The word ping-ponged around my brain. Forever is a looong time.

JANUARY 24, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

/ Good morning, beautiful. How was your night? / Mine was wonderful with you by my side / And when I open my eyes and see your sweet face / It's a good morning beautiful day.

I hummed along with Steve Holy, unable to contain a happy smile. Ryan had burned this CD for me, filled with sweet love songs.

/ I didn't see the light. I didn't know day from night / I had no reason to care / But since you came along I can face the dawn / Cause I know you'll be there.

Still with that happy smile, I managed to finish putting on my makeup. I was pretty happy with it. Rosy cheeks. Dark eyeliner. Blue eyeshadow to make my irises pop. My hair was piled high on my head and clipped in place with bobby pins that had little diamonds attached to them. And for once I was wearing a stylish cocktail dress that really pushed my big tits up and together, drawing one's attention to them and then down to my thin waist. I was fucking HOT and I knew it.

Ben confirmed it for me when I stepped out of the room and he immediately let out a long whistle. "Wow..." he drawled, then lay back across the couch and folded his arms behind his head as he admired me. I always knew Ben liked the way that I looked, but it had been a while since he expressed his appreciation so obviously.

"Dawn, you look amazing," he breathed.

I giggled and pirouetted for him, letting my dress hem twirl up to expose a little more leg while I smiled coyly at him. Yeah, it was good to be beautiful.

Adrienne also whistled. "I agree. What's the special occasion?"

"I don't know," I said breathlessly, still excited and still humming "Good Morning Beautiful" in my head. Maybe I could get Ryan to sing it to me in the morning... "Ryan just told me to dress up for tonight's date. Sometimes he can be sooo romantic."

Just then, the doorbell rang and I tittered excitedly. Adrienne just grinned and gave me another once over, clearly showing her lust for me with her eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd think she enjoyed checking me out more than she checked Ryan out. But I quickly forgot about Adrienne as I started for the door.

"Wait," Ben interrupted me. "Go into your room. I'll get the door and make him wait for your grand entrance."

I arched an eyebrow at my best friend but grinned. That was a GREAT idea. Smiling excitedly, I ducked back into my bedroom and did a quick little happy dance all by myself.

When I heard the Ben welcome Ryan inside, I pressed my ear to my bedroom door to listen in.

"Dude," Ben moaned. "You're gonna make the rest of us guys look bad."

"She's worth it." Ryan's response made my heart flutter and impossibly, I started smiling even wider.

"I know it," Ben answered with just the slightest hitch in his voice. "Just give her a minute. She's making sure she looks absolutely perfect."

"Dawn looks perfect every day of her life," Ryan sighed.

I started doing my happy dance again, but then I heard footsteps approaching and I stepped away from the door. Ben soon knocked, saying, "He's here. And yes, he's in a very romantic mood."

Out of sight of Ryan, I opened my door. I was so unbelievably happy and feeling so amazingly good that I impulsively reached out for Ben, taking his hand and pulling him toward me. Then I held his face and pecked his cheek with love and thanks and general good feelings.

Ben blushed, then stood up straight and smiled happily for me. "Have fun tonight."

I beamed. "I will."

I then exited the room and went into the living room to watch Ryan's jaw suitably drop to the floor. My boyfriend was positively studly in dark slacks and a blue button-down shirt that went really well with my dress. And I sizzled happily knowing that we'd somehow managed to coordinate our outfits without even trying.

Ryan then handed me a bouquet of pink roses, and I took them happily and pressed my nose into them, inhaling their sweet scent. Over the top of the flowers, I leveled my gaze at my boyfriend, my eyes hungrily saying, "You are SOOO getting lucky tonight."

He just smiled and moved up alongside me for a welcoming kiss. And then Adrienne was helpfully beside me to take the flowers out of my hands and put them into a vase for when I came back.

Arm-in-arm, my handsome boyfriend escorted me out of the house, wrapping my coat around me. And I stared adoringly at his face the entire way out to his car.

I was falling in love.

JANUARY 31, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

"Good lord, girl. Are you even wearing panties?" Ben looked me up and down, his eyes lustfully roving across my body and settling on my ass. I purposefully posed, showing off a bit and feeling a little thrill at getting such a reaction out of him.

And I SHOULD be getting a reaction out of him. After all, I wasn't wearing panties. The ultra-tight miniskirt molded to my body so well that I couldn't even get away with a thong, let alone full panties. No matter, I wouldn't be wearing them for long tonight as it was. I was in a mood. And Ryan was going to have to stock up on fluids to keep up with me.

"Why? Wanna find out?" I teased Ben as I turned and wiggled my panty-less ass in his direction.

"It's pretty cold out there, isn't it?" he said skeptically.

I shrugged. "I'm bringing a jacket on our date."

Ben rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. "Well? You freeballing it or what?"

"I don't have balls. You should know that."

"You know what I mean."

"I'm naked and bare underneath..." I crooned seductively before giggling. "I'm just trying to be a good girlfriend for my boyfriend."

"Don't remember you going out without underwear when we were dating," he grumped.

"We barely dated outside of summer camp. And getting me naked was never difficult." I smirked. I was very, very tempted to flash him right then and there, to see how he reacted. Like I said, I was in a mood. I'd also freshly shaven my pussy, and I tingled every time I felt the slightest puff of air against my bare labia. But before I could do something that reckless, Ben shook his head and walked into the living room. I gathered myself back up and headed into my room to double-check my appearance.

Ryan had better hurry. I was horny enough to fuck him in the car.

FEBRUARY 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

"Almost home. It's been such a LONG day..." I bumped my hip into Ben's, knocking him off balance while we went around the final turn towards the house.

"Whatever," he sighed.

"Come ON, Ben." I patted my best friend's arm. "You used to be so excited to head back!"

Ben snorted. "That's when I had a loving girlfriend waiting for me at home."

I frowned. "Today's Tuesday. Adrienne's usually home because Grace has that late class or something, right?"

Ben furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before perking up and smiling. "It's Tuesday? I totally thought today was Wednesday."

"You wish." I giggled and shook my head. "You must have had an even longer day than me."

"Don't ask," he said wearily.

I was concerned for Ben. Just as my relationship seemed to be taking off, I'd slowly been seeing his crumble ever since we got back to school. I tightened my arm around his, pulling him closely and rubbing my shoulder against his. "Still, it does seem like Adrienne's never home anymore. And if it bugs you that much, why haven't you talked to her about it?"

Ben shrugged. "I'm not the smothering-type. Adrienne's entitled to hang out with her friends."

"'Hang out' is one thing. But you're her boyfriend. You deserve some quality time, too."

He looked at me defensively. "She comes home every night. And it's not like I'm not getting laid often enough."

I sighed. "There's more to a relationship than sex. You two used to spend every available minute together. Last semester, I know you spent the whole day with me because your schedule and hers didn't line up at all. But once you got home, you couldn't get enough of each other. But lately?"

Ben sighed. "I know ... And I miss her..."

"You should. It reminds you that you still love her. With how much time the two of you spend apart, start worrying the minute you don't miss her."

He smiled and patted my hand that was still wrapped around his arm. "You're right. I need to talk to her. Communication, right?"

I nodded and Ben went into the house. Ryan, Adrienne, Paige, and Gwen were already present and waved to us as we entered. Almost immediately, Paige got off the couch and ran over to Ben, jumping into his arms for a hug. "Hiya, Ben!"

I rolled my eyes as Ben greeted the little redhead, and scowled beneath my breath. I liked Paige enough as a friend, but her obsessive crush with Ben had not gone away in the past six months or so. He was still her white knight, and she a doting little sister to make him feel big brother-ish. But something about her made me uncomfortable. Paige was the lost puppy constantly following Ben around, clearly in love with him. But it was just as clear that he didn't love her in that way; and I didn't like that she wouldn't take the hint and back off. Something about her just screamed "unstable stalker" to me, and I was worried that somehow Ben was going to get hurt by her.

I could see it. Why couldn't he? But I didn't have anything concrete, just a feeling. And it wasn't my place to shut Paige out of our lives. After all, Ben clearly liked her.

Still, right now, I needed Ben to take my advice and talk to Adrienne. Now was a time to work on his relationship, to keep HIM happy, which was all that really mattered to me.

"Hey, wanna go on a nugget run with me?" Ben asked Adrienne.

"Ooh! Can I come?" Paige wormed her way in.

Adrienne looked up and shrugged, replying, "Let Paige go with you. I just want to finish this up before I go anywhere."

I scowled again, thinking of a way to intervene on Ben's and Adrienne's behalf. But Ben beat me to it. "Really, A.D. I wanted to take a walk with you," he said seriously. "Sorry, Red."

Good for you, Ben. Good for you.

FEBRUARY 15, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

"Oh, hey guys." I stood in the entryway, blinking in obvious surprise at the scene before me. Ben was eating a bowl of cereal. No problem. The bathroom shower was running, likely Adrienne.

But Paige was sitting at the table with Ben, dressed in nothing but one of Ben's button-down shirts with a well-satisfied and well-fucked expression on her face, and her hair mussed up from bed. THAT part of the scene, I wasn't quite expecting.

Paige stared right at me, a smug expression on her face. And matter-of-factly, as if she wanted to rub it in, she stated, "Yes, I spent the night with Ben. And yes, he popped my cherry. Any questions?"

Ooh, Paige could be cuttingly evil when she wanted to be. It made me wonder what other devilish impulses she was hiding beneath her innocent schoolgirl façade. My jaw just waggled up and down a couple of times with no sounds coming out. But I recovered as quickly as I could. "Uh, okay." I focused on moving into the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator.

At first, I grabbed the box of eggs. But with a shaky hand, I let go of it and realized I was in too much shock to actually cook something. So I grabbed the milk and set about making my own bowl of cereal. Damn that smug look on Paige's face. It was as if she KNEW I wasn't her biggest fan when it came to Ben, and she was showing off like an insolent brat.

I sat down at the table and took two bites before I found my voice again. I sat up straight, darting my eyes back and forth between Ben and Paige before finally turning to him with a stern expression. Without actually speaking, I told my best friend under no uncertain terms: 'You and me need to talk.'

Ben blanched at first, but then nodded. He knew I was dead serious. But in the meantime, I would have to play nice with Paige. She was Ben's lover now, and that meant I'd have to learn to co-exist with her until I could show him that this was a BAD idea. At the same time, I wanted to dig for details. So smiling sweetly, I put a happy expression on my face and asked, "Did I ever tell you Ben took my virginity, too?"

"No. Really?" Paige was instantly perky and into gossip mode. But there was a tightness to her eyes that betrayed her wariness about me. Our words sounded happy but there was an underlying tension between us. Sitting right next to Paige, Ben was completely oblivious. Men. I'm sure he had NO clue right now that I was NOT happy.

But I played the game. Smiling, I nodded to Paige. "Back when we were sixteen. It was beautiful. How about you? How'd it go?"

"Perrrfect!" Paige exclaimed brightly, that smug expression back. "It was even better than I imagined!"

Feeling uncomfortable, Ben just stood up and shook his head, abandoning his bowl of cereal. I knew this discussion of lost virginities would scare him away.

Once Ben was gone, I half-thought of dropping the pretense and warning the little shit to stay the FUCK away from my best friend. She was a leech who wouldn't give him anything but headaches. She didn't have the maturity to deal with a relationship like this, and somehow, someway, I knew she'd get into shit WAY over her head and need Ben to rescue her again. Only the next time, he might not be able to do it without getting hurt himself. Shit, was the girl even protected? The last thing I wanted was a knocked up Paige, carrying MY Ben's baby. THAT would royally fuck up our futures.

But I couldn't drop the pretense yet. I didn't have enough information, and I needed to know just what was going through Paige's little head. And fuck? Was I even supposed to have a future with Ben anymore? My relationship with Ryan was going so well!

I sighed, looking at the smug grin on Paige's face. I was dying inside.

FEBRUARY 18, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

"So how does it work?" I hooked my thumbs through the shoulder straps of my backpack. It was the first day of class since Valentine's, and therefore the first time Ben and I could spend a protracted amount of time alone together. He'd spent all weekend holed up in his bedroom with his newly de-virginized girlfriend. But on school days, he was all mine, walking to classes and sharing lunch and spending all his time with me.

I had every intention of grilling Ben about this new development with Paige. But I wouldn't actually grill him. That would put him on the defensive and it would be harder to find out what I wanted to know. So I'd have to do it a little more sneakily.

"I don't know yet," he replied. "This is all so new."

"You've dated two girls before. With ... ah ... Megan and Cassidy, right?"

"But this is completely different."

"Why?"

And we were off. Ben talked about different personalities and the difference of being in a triple versus two separate relationships. I gritted my teeth, seeing as how Ben wasn't carrying on a cohesive three-way relationship. This two "separate" relationships just screamed disaster to me. When one relationship pulled in a different direction from the other, which would Ben choose? This was exactly why I couldn't be in a three-way relationship with Ben and Adrienne. I liked Adrienne, but we weren't in love with each other. We would HAVE to share Ben in two different directions, and I knew eventually Adrienne and I would tear each other apart, whether we liked it or not.

I tried to ask if Paige would be okay with Ben's extra-curricular sex life. I knew that would be a big deal-breaker to most. But Paige was totally accepting of it. Hell, she even accepted Brandi. I'd have thought the incest thing would be totally against her religion, but according to Ben, she quoted some obscure Bible history to explain it away.

"Huh?" I looked at Ben like he'd just spoken Chinese. Something about Moabites and ammonia ... I think.

Ben smiled and shook his head. "Nevermind. The point is: Paige is fine with it."

I whistled. "How do you find these girls, Ben?"

"I have no idea. They always seem to find me."

Later that evening, Ben and I returned to the house, expecting to see Brandi or Dayna in the kitchen and Adrienne waiting eagerly for her boyfriend.

Not today.

The place seemed absolutely deserted. Ryan had a group project tonight and he would be heading straight home when it was done, so I wouldn't be meeting MY boyfriend. Bert had made plans to "study" at Robin's dorm room. And Gwen had been spending more and more time with her new boyfriend Rick and his group of friends. And of course, if Adrienne wasn't here, she was probably with Grace.

I'd seen Adrienne drifting away from Ben for the past several weeks. I scowled, thinking of how Adrienne was just foisting Paige on Ben to keep him distracted, and he probably didn't even realize it. This whole 2-girlfriend thing was NOT going to work out. And the fact that Ben couldn't see it made me so mad that a part of me wanted to deliberately NOT help him pick up the pieces when it fell apart, just so he might learn from his mistakes.

Ben looked at me and arched an eyebrow. It took me a second to realize he was referring to the empty house. "Weird, huh?"

I nodded. Well, more time to grill Ben. "So much has changed since last semester," I commented. "That's cool. I'll make us something for dinner."

With that, we headed to our respective bedrooms to drop off our bags, but when we got outside the doors, a low, feminine moan quite obviously wafted out from Ben's bedroom.

Ben and I froze, and then I arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Did Adrienne bring Grace by again?"

Ben shook his head in the negative. "That was Paige."

Another moan flittered through. I gasped and rolled my eyes. "And THAT was Dayna."

Ben immediately twisted the knob and pushed the door open. A chorus of musical giggles started up and then both he and I poked our heads in. My jaw dropped immediately.

"Hi, Ben!" Paige chirped happily. The little redhead was completely naked and perched on all fours. Lying beside her was an equally naked Brandi, flat on her back and panting at the ceiling with Paige's left hand still rubbing her breast. And between Brandi's legs was Dayna while my naked, busty blonde sister slowly pumped a glass dildo in and out of her best friend's snatch.

The three girls all turned to look at us, and Paige continued, "Dayna's showing me how to eat pussy. I've done it before, but she's teaching me things I never even imagined!"

"Don't let her fool you," Dayna laughed to Ben. "Your little redhead is a natural."

My jaw dropped. Was the little rat worming her way through the rest of my family? Paige sat upright on her knees, opening her arms to her boyfriend invitingly. "Come play with us, Ben! The girls were just telling me about creampies. I've never done it before. And wouldn't it just be so... sinful ... for me to suck your semen out of your big sister?"

"But don't swallow it. Keep it in your mouth and then feed it back to me on your tongue. That's 'snowballing'," Brandi added in a husky voice.

I could see the way Ben's erection was tenting his shorts. Already I knew he was going to dive in, dick first. And I sighed in resignation. Nothing I could do from here on out.

But Ben stopped and turned to me, a hopeful smile on his face. "Come join us?"

I shook my head, unable to totally conceal my frustration. "Nah. You go ahead. Your girls are waiting," I replied dispiritedly.

Ben pouted as his eyes roamed up and down my body. We hadn't even been naked around each other since Dayna's blindfold party. And he didn't even get to see me that time. "C'mon ... It'll be fun. Aren't you the least bit curious about Paige?"

"Yeah! C'mon!" Paige encouraged eagerly, a wicked smile on her face.

My eyes flashed at the petite redhead, uncontrollable hatred pouring out of me. If looks could kill, I would have executed her on the spot. She hadn't done anything to me, but my gut instinct told me that her very presence was a bad idea. She looked like an innocent little Catholic girl, but I was convinced she was really the Antichrist.

Still, I couldn't keep Ben from his pussy. So I turned and hugged my best friend, my lips moving around to tenderly peck the back of his neck. "Go have fun. I'll have dinner ready when you guys are done."

And then I turned and headed into my own bedroom, trying not to think of the orgy to come.

APRIL 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

"Don't let it bother you, babe. Ben's a big boy," Ryan said soothingly as his strong hands stroked up and down my naked back. I was topless and facedown on my bed, my arms folded underneath my chin. I tried to focus on the sensations Ryan was giving me, but I couldn't quiet my mind down.

"Paige is a poison. She's not good for him, but he won't listen to me. And because of her, he's losing Adrienne. She's falling in love with GRACE, of all people."

"Well, you did say she decided she was lesbian."

"'Mostly lesbian'. She still loves Ben."

"Whatever. It's her call. And it's THEIR relationship. It's not your place to interfere."

"He's my best friend. Of course it's my place to interfere," I sighed.

"And I'm your boyfriend. How come I don't warrant this kind of concern?"

I frowned and rolled onto my back. Ryan's eyes yo-yoed down to my naked breasts, which jiggled and stayed pretty upright despite me lying flat on my back. And when his eyes tracked up to mine, he could see that I was looking at him adoringly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that just when I think you're starting to love me-"

"Ryan..." I was close. I was SO close to telling him those three little words. But I held back, not entirely sure why.

He sighed. "Sometimes I just think you spend so much effort worrying about Ben's relationships and not enough on ours."

"What do you want from me? I spend a LOT of time on us. We do everything together as often as we can together. Ben and I just talk when going from point A to point B. Nothing more."

He sighed. "How do I know that?"

"Ryan!" I put on a hurt expression. "After everything we've been through. And after me finally opening up and letting you into my heart, you doubt me?"

He bit his lip nervously, looking away. "No, of course not."

He was lying. There was still a niggling of doubt in him and I knew there would ALWAYS be a niggling of doubt, as long as Ben was my best friend. Ryan was just too threatened by Ben to ever completely relax. Shaking my head, I rolled onto my stomach again, resting my cheek against my arms.

"You know, I wasn't going to bring this up, but I found something the other day," he said wearily.

I arched an eyebrow. "Found what?"

Ryan sighed and stroked my naked spine. "I didn't mean to snoop. Honestly, I wasn't. But you'd left your jewelry box open and a silver bracelet caught my attention."

I pursed my lips and put my head down. I knew exactly which silver bracelet he was talking about: the one with "Ben Forever" stenciled on it. Not looking at my boyfriend, I asked innocently, "Oh?"

"I thought you threw it out."

"I never said that."

"I thought you would."

"He's my friend; nothing more."

"Then you can throw it out."

"I won't do that, Ryan." I kept my gaze straight ahead, not looking at him. I had gotten tense all over, but there was no question about this one. I was NOT throwing away that bracelet.

Ryan sighed and went quiet. He wasn't the type of guy to get all petty about it, whining 'If you really love me' or some bullshit like that. But I could still feel the sentiment coming back from him. He was hurt, and I didn't know how to make him feel better about it.

I turned onto my side, letting my naked breasts spill out in front of him again. Looking my boyfriend dead in the eye, I told him sincerely, "Ben is a dear friend, but I chose YOU to be my boyfriend. I care a great deal about you. And you have to believe that you mean a lot to me."

Ryan sat on his heels, pushing himself upright. His bare chest tightened as he tensed his whole body. His crystal clear blue eyes burned brightly, and they bored right down into the depths of my soul. "I more than just care about you, Dawn," he rasped, his volume rising. "You don't mean a lot to me. You mean everything to me. You're more than my world; you're my universe. You are every season of the year. You are the warmth of Summer, basking me with the brilliance of your beauty. You are the melancholy of Autumn, causing me worry as if every falling leaf is a part of you I'm losing. And you are the starkness of Winter, leaving me cold and lonely in your absences. But you are also the hope of Spring, filling my senses with the bloom of love, so that I might hope for the brilliant warmth of Summer again. You are my sunrise and sunset; and at night I eagerly await the new coming of the Dawn."

I just blinked in astonishment at what he'd just said. Ryan could be romantic, but he'd never come up with anything like that. Especially off the cuff. "Wow..." I gasped.

He panted as if out of breath, and then a goofy grin spread across his face as he blushed in embarrassment. That little speech had been TOTALLY out of character for my usually macho man who didn't talk about his feelings.

Ryan wasn't known for his sense of humor, but he looked rather cute right now. "Guess my Modern Poetry class rubbed off on me," he said sheepishly. "Sorry it wasn't very good."

"No, no," I breathed. "I loved it." And then smiling broadly, I lay back and stretched my arms out to my boyfriend, beckoning him to me with my hands, eyes, and tits. "Come here."

He hesitated, but a quick glance at my erect nipples made his decision for him. Ryan crawled over me until I grabbed behind his shoulders and pulled him down, crushing his bare chest against my bare boobs. I sought his mouth with my own and let my tongue come out to run along his upper lip. "C'mon, babe. Why don't we get these shorts off you and I'll show you just how much I want to be with you, and only you."

Ryan pulled his mouth away and he looked at me intently. "Only me?"

He already knew the answer. I'd not only given up Ben or any other men, but I'd also given up other women. I hadn't had sex with Dayna or Brandi or Adrienne or ANYONE else this semester. Except for a few small little romps with Dayna and DJ over Winter Break (that of course, Ryan didn't know about), neither of us had done anything sexual with anyone but each other since Dayna's blindfold party. And that's the way we intended it to be for the foreseeable future. It was the way Ryan wanted it. One man. One woman. Dedicated, monogamous, and committed.

So I kissed my boyfriend again, looked him in the eyes, and said confidently, "Only you."

Ryan flowed into my arms then, his muscular biceps pushing like steel into the backs of my arms as he squeezed me in his grasp. He nibbled on my lower lip while I licked my tongue across his upper. Then he sucked my tongue inside as I moaned and pressed my face a little harder against his. I'd already started to get wet just hearing him talk about how I was his everything. But now I was soaking my panties as I felt my strong, masculine boyfriend passionately consuming me.

My fingers slid through his hair as I pulled my head away and back so that he could nibble down my neck. He couldn't help himself as he almost sloppily slathered his lips, teeth, and tongue along my skin. I kinda liked it when Ryan lost his finer skills of lovemaking. The physical pleasure might not be quite as good, but the mental thrill of knowing he loved me SO much that he was losing control more than made up for any deficiencies.

A hand came up and roughly grabbed at my boob. My own hand reached into the back of his jeans, gripping that rock hard ass. Many a girl on campus had ogled my boyfriend's fabulous ass. But I was the one gripping a bare buttcheek in my palm.

Soon, Ryan kissed his way down my chest to swirl his tongue around one of my rock-hard nipples. He suckled several inches of titflesh into his mouth while his hands went to the button on my skirt, fumbling a few times before he got it open and then pulled the zipper down. I lifted my hips to help him as he dragged the skirt and my soaked thong panties away, leaving me gloriously naked before his heated gaze.

I loved these moments, lying naked beneath my lover. I felt so vulnerable and yet so adored at the same time, watching his eyes rove all over my body. My skin tingled and goosebumps formed wherever his gaze fell. And when his eyes finally tracked up to mine, I pointedly looked at his crotch and Ryan grinned as he started to work off his own jeans and underwear.

I sat up and my hands went to Ryan's cock as soon as he freed it. "Beautiful," I groaned as I caressed it's length, feeling the juxtaposition between hard rigidity and baby-soft smoothness. He throbbed and twitched against my fingers' caress. I just HAD to feel him in my mouth.

There are few things more satisfying for a girl than hearing her man moan in mixed agony and ecstasy. A thrill shot up and down my spine as Ryan made that moan, his fingers raking through my hair as his hands gripped my head with urgent need. I felt like I could feel his heartbeat pulsing against my tongue as I surrounded him with my hot warmth.

But as much as I loved this feeling, I craved even more. I pulled my head away and lay back across the bed, once again beckoning my man to me. "Come to me," I urged.

Ryan blinked and hesitated for a brief second. He started to duck down between my thighs, intent on returning the favor. Bless his heart, Ryan went down on me almost every single time we had sex, the only exceptions being our unplanned quickies. But as his head descended, I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up my body. "I'm already soaked for you, babe," I groaned. "You can do it to me later."

He smiled and nodded. One thing that made Ryan unique among all the other guys I'd known or even heard about, he'd still eat me out even if he came in my pussy. Not even Ben would willingly do that. Sure, Ben really got off watching another girl eat a creampie out of me, but he'd only reluctantly do it himself.

But this evening wasn't about Ben. It was about ME. And it was about Ryan, the man who loved me with every fiber of his being. I could see it in his eyes. I could feel it in his touch. And I could REALLY feel his love as that big weapon of his started pushing into my body.

"Ohhh..." I groaned as he began filling me up. Ryan wasn't lunging into me this time, skewering me with a single powerful thrust. He eased himself in, keeping up a steady and constant pressure as I felt each successive inch of his cock stretch the walls of my vaginal tunnel. And with every passing second, I felt the heavenly fullness becoming better and better and better.

"Oh, gawd, Dawn," Ryan grunted into my ear, sounding as if he were dying of pleasure.

"Oh, Ryan..." I moaned in return. I hooked my arms around the back of his shoulders and tugged his chest back down onto me, so that my tits and his pecs were as pressed together as they would ever be. I raised my legs and crossed my ankles behind his waist, digging my heels into his ass to drive him even deeper.

When we were fully enjoined, he turned his face to mine and we met in another sloppy kiss. And halfway through it, he retracted his hips, pulling almost all the way out of me before reversing course and gently, but insistently, pushing his way back in.

"Oh, Ryan..." I moaned again, knowing he loved it when I called him by name.

"Oh, Dawn..." he whimpered, settling into a steady rhythm. He pushed himself off my chest, supporting his weight on his elbows so that he wouldn't crush me. I inhaled sharply, taking full breaths for the first time since before he entered me. But I could still feel his chest rubbing against my sensitive nipples and I'm sure he could feel them scraping against him as well.

I loved this. I loved this feeling. Sex with Ben had been special, and I'd never felt orgasms as intense or even a connection as deep with Ryan as I had with Ben. But I still loved this. Ryan was fully and completely devoted to me. He loved me, and it felt good to be loved.

"Love me, babe," I groaned. And I was rewarded with Ryan's next powerful thrust.

"Love me," I repeated, arching my back and driving my hips up to capture his entire cock. I clenched my pussy muscles around his shaft and pulled him back down to the mattress with me, so that when I settled flat again he was all the way inside me once more.

Somehow, his skin beneath my hands flushed and felt even hotter than before. We'd both heated up as we'd exerted our bodies for this fuck, but his temperature was even greater than that. My body felt warmer as well, as if the love I was unleashing from my heart was also flooding my body with extra heat. And suddenly every square inch of my skin was tingling.

"Ohmigod," I gasped, feeling the surge of energy through my body. THIS was the difference in the pleasure between what I'd done with Ben and what I'd been doing with Ryan up until now. It wasn't necessarily that Ben was doing things to me that Ryan couldn't match. It was that I'd never completely opened up to Ryan like I had with Ben. It was more than physical sensation; it was the connection I felt to my lover. And right now, in this very moment, I could feel Ryan ALMOST getting me to the same point.

"Fuck me, Ryan," I urged, desperately, yearning for that incredible peak to come. "FUCK ME."

He moved immediately, pulling back and then ramming his big dick deep into my body.

"FUCK ME," I grunted again, my voice asking him to thrust even harder. And he did.

"Oh, Dawn," Ryan groaned, his face tensing up as the pleasure started to overtake his body. We'd been going for little more than five minutes, but despite my man's usual control, he was losing it and fast.

I didn't care. I was groaning and gasping and Ryan's wonderful cock was throbbing while he stabbed into me over and over and over again. My hips were kicking off the bed and my legs clenching while my lover pounded me with every ounce of energy he had, hammering his hips as he desperately tried to cram even more of himself into me with every thrust.

"FUCK ME!" I screamed. "FUCK ME!"

"I LOVE YOU, DAWN!" he yelled.

"FUUUCK!" I yelled right back.

"I LOVE YOU!" he repeated.

"FUCK ME!!!"

His whole body jerked as his hips slammed into me one final time. And a victorious growl burned up from his throat. "HRRRRGHHHH!!!"

Sooo close. It was wonderful. It was great.

But it wasn't quite the same. Not yet.

Still, the pleasure overtook my body and sent me into orgasm. I threw my head back as I felt the explosion deep inside my body. His liquid expression of love poured out of him like a fire hose to fill me up even more than I believed possible. The sensations were too intense, too overwhelming to keep controlled, and I shrieked in my own expression of mixed agony and ecstasy as my climax roared out to meet his. "RYYAAAANNNN!!!"

His body bucked, firing another blast inside me. I felt each pulse of his cock expanding in time with the impacts against my inner walls. They hit me with little starbursts of pleasure that exploded in my brain. I wanted the feelings to continue forever. I wanted this moment to never end.

And then Ryan fell on top of me. He'd collapsed, crushing me beneath him so wonderfully. We both gasped for oxygen, me having to struggle a bit with more than 200 pounds of man crushing my chest. But I got what air I needed and my heart rate gradually slowed.

Ryan turned his head and kissed my forehead while I nuzzled my nose against his neck. I hummed happily and squeezed all four limbs around his body, holding his comforting weight on top of me for just a little longer.

This was great.

But he still wasn't my Ben.

MAY 19, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

Ben looked mighty pleased with himself when I met up with him for lunch. While most of our classes were the same, they ALL weren't, and he'd had a morning final while I'd slept in.

Ben had always been an excellent student. He had an eidetic memory or something, being able to recall pretty much anything he ever read. It was unfair sometimes, but I couldn't hold his gift against him. And I assumed the self- satisfied expression on his face had something to do with that morning's exam.

"You're looking good," I drawled from the bar stool where I was waiting for him. "Ace your final?"

Ben shook his head, still grinning goofily.

I knew the look. It was the 'I got laid' look. And then I remembered where Ben was last night. "Ah. Something to do with your little anniversary date with Adrienne?"

Ben nodded. "I gave her a promise ring last night."

What? I nearly choked on my soda. "Excuse me?" I sputtered.

Ben laughed, patting my back to help with the choking. "A promise ring. Remember those?"

It took a few seconds for me to regain my composure. When I did, I took a deep breath and gave my best friend a serious look. "Are you sure Adrienne's that kind of girl?"

"I'm sure she's my kind of girl."

Oh, this was BAD. Ben wasn't ready for this kind of commitment. "But a promise ring is pretty serious, Ben. You're still nineteen."

He shrugged like it was no big deal. "Relax. It's not like we got engaged or anything. But with Adrienne dating Grace and me dating Paige at the same time, it seemed the perfect opportunity to remind Adrienne just how special she is to me. We've been through a lot."

I looked at him skeptically. "I know. But a promise ring? Adrienne? Seriously?"

"What? Jealous?"

"No!" I said very quickly. For some reason, I thought of my 'Ben Forever' bracelet. It was still in my jewelry box. "Of course not. I'm happy for you."

Ben grinned. "Good. And don't feel threatened, Dawn." He slapped my back encouragingly. "You know I'll always be your Ben."

"Forever," I mumbled mournfully, looking away. Was this it? Was this really the end of me and Ben? I felt like crying.

It was really unfair for Ben to spring that on me right before a final. I knew he was happy for himself, but couldn't he see how much that news affected me? FUCK. Stupid Ben. Stupid boys. Always selfishly thinking of themselves and never paying attention how they might affect the people around them.

Not that I should be affected. After all, Ben was highlighting exactly how much our relationship had changed. We were best friends, not lovers anymore. Why shouldn't he want to share his happiness with me? Wasn't that what best friends did? He was dedicating himself to Adrienne. And I was in love with Ryan. Everything was peachy-keen, right?

[thump]

I had just stepped into my bedroom, Ben and I having returned to the house from our afternoon final. I looked over to the source of the loud thump and saw that Ben's bedroom door was open, so I went over to investigate. I took one look at the scene and gasped.

Ben was to the right, and the look of absolute shock and anguish on his face was unmistakable. Adrienne and Grace were to the left, the two girls holding hands firmly. Adrienne's body posture was all wrong, definitely not looking happy. As I entered in, she picked her head up, her red-rimmed eyes showing that she'd been crying and still was crying. Her hazel irises were a murky yellow, and she glanced over at me for a brief moment. Then licking her lips, Adrienne winced and turned to set down a gold ring with small diamonds onto the nightstand.

The cool metal band hit the wooden surface with a surprisingly loud bass [thunk]. It certainly sounded much heavier than it appeared to be, or maybe that was just in my head. But there was no imagining the pain and anguish in Adrienne's voice as she cracked out, "I'm sorry, Ben. I love you. But I just can't do this."

Without another word or thought, Adrienne suddenly turned and strode straight at me, practically dragging Grace with her. The pair of them bumped me in their hurry to get out of the house, and then moments later they were gone.

Another [thump] brought my attention back into the room. Ben had sunk onto his knees. My heart went out to him as he closed his eyes, bent his head, and sobbed his heart out.

Holy shit. I covered my mouth in shock, just trying to process everything that just happened. Clearly, Adrienne hadn't taken Ben's promise ring very well. I'd known she didn't want some permanent commitment with him, but didn't think she'd leave with Grace over him. Wouldn't they have talked about this sort of thing before Ben sprung some grand gesture on her? How did I not see this coming?

How did I not know Ben was THIS close to committing to another girl? That I was THIS close to losing him forever? Belatedly, I realized that Ben and I really hadn't talked much about his relationship with Adrienne this past semester, or his relationship with Paige either, for that matter. I mean, we talked. But we didn't talk that much, especially in the last month after Ryan asked me to concentrate more on him.

So I hadn't known just where Ben's relationships were going. Maybe his little fling with Paige was on the verge of cracking, too. But for all I knew, he was ready to propose to the little witch.

Presently, Ben finally collected himself and rocked back into a full squat, rubbing his knees before standing upright. He looked up at me, and then slowly walked right to me.

This was it. I had been so afraid I'd lost my Ben when he gave that promise ring to Adrienne. But she'd turned him down, just like she promised she would. She'd set him free. She was letting him finally return to ME.

My heart thudding in my chest, I reached out to him. I wanted to hug him and hold him and tell him everything would be alright. My best friend, my Ben, looked like a shell of the man he used to be. I NEEDED to somehow make everything alright. And I NEEDED him to know I wanted him back. FINALLY.

But Ben ignored my outstretched arm and walked right past me, heading out into the hallway. He stopped and looked at the closed front door, staring at it for what felt like an entire minute.

Ben was a statue, and I nervously looked around. Paige, Ryan, Bert, and Robin were all already in the house, hanging out to study since none of them had an afternoon final today. And when Ben finally turned around, the four of them looked at him in wonder and curiosity.

To this day, I don't think I'll ever understand exactly what was going through Ben's head after that. His face was expressionless. There were no indications he was about to do what he did next. And so he caught us ALL by surprise.

None were more surprised than Gwen. She had been in the bathroom for this entire time, and she came to a dead stop when she came out to find six people staring at her. Her mouth opened slightly and she quickly glanced around at all six of us, silently standing around the hallway. "Uh, what's going on?"

Without warning, Ben reached out and grabbed Gwen's arm, yanking her abruptly through his bedroom doorway and slamming the door shut before I could even react.

"Ben!" I called in alarm. I quickly jiggled the doorknob, only to find that he'd already locked them inside.

"Ben! What's going on?" Paige rushed up and called plaintively as well.

Nothing greeted us but the sounds of two bodies landing on the bed. And I frantically jiggled the doorknob even harder.

"Ben!" Gwen gasped, loud enough for us to overhear. "What's going on?" Moments later, she squealed, "Oh, SHIT!"

Realization dawned on me as to what Ben and Gwen were doing in there. My eyes flew open wide and I clapped a hand over my mouth again in shock. The others were crowding around me, and one by one, they seemed to realize it as well.

"Ben!" Gwen squealed, confirming our guesses. "Ben we can't do this! I'm a slut! Not a cheater!"

"You wanna stop?" Ben growled. "Just say 'stop'."

Gwen didn't. And then there were no more cries except for those of two people royally fucking each other's brains out.

The sounds of sex died out after about an hour or so. An hour of pure, non-stop fucking. Sometimes I forgot just how much of a machine Ben could be when he got going.

It was almost another two hours before Gwen finally opened the door, still wobbly on her feet. Robin and I rushed to her, helped her into the bathroom, and got her cleaned up. Then Robin took her back to the dorms. I, on the other hand, went into the bedroom to check on Ben.

Despite everything, there was still a look of infinite sadness on his face. He was asleep and flat on his back, and I covered him with a blanket while sliding onto the bed. I pulled his head into my lap, looking down with concern at him while stroking his hair back from his forehead and along his scalp. I couldn't imagine the torment going through his mind in the aftermath of what Adrienne had done.

About twenty minutes later, he stiffened and seemed to wake. I increased the firmness of my stroking, urging him to remain calm. His eyes stayed closed as he just lay there and enjoyed my touch. And without needing to open his eyes and recognize me, he asked, "What time is it, Dawn?"

"Almost nine. PM," I answered. "You've been asleep for more than two hours."

He cracked his eyes open and stared at me for a long few moments. "Where's Gwen?"

I told him and we had a short discussion about what Gwen would make of all this. I wasn't sure, but while Gwen had been surprised by what happened, she didn't seem angry. For his part, Ben didn't seem to understand why he'd grabbed Gwen, either.

The conversation then turned to Adrienne, and almost immediately Ben started sobbing. Not wanting to let Ben devolve into self-flagellation, I grabbed his cheeks and stared down at his face. "Hey!" I barked loudly to get his attention.

In surprise, he blinked his eyes open and stared at me. Satisfied that I'd momentarily distracted him away from his sorrows, I asked, "You want something to eat? We ordered pizza and there're plenty of leftovers."

Ben winced and then shook his head. He closed his eyes again as I went back to stroking his forehead. At least right now he didn't look like he was going to become hysterical again.

"Ahem." Ryan's voice from the doorway drew both of our attentions. He was dressed to spend the night with me. We'd already planned it since he had a morning final. "You coming back out?" my boyfriend asked warily.

I glanced down at Ben. My best friend — my Ben — was unhappy, and he needed my comfort. I wouldn't leave him for the world, boyfriend or not. I worried about what I would tell Ryan when Ben suddenly grabbed my hand, holding it tightly. "Don't leave me," he pleaded, his eyes more convincing than his words. "Not right now."

I sighed and glanced back up Ryan, looking apologetic. This was my Ben and he was going through one of the worst nights of his life. I couldn't leave him. I wouldn't leave him. "Not right now," I told Ryan. "Okay?"

Ryan exhaled, a slight note of frustration in the sound. He didn't like the idea, but it wasn't like Ben and I were getting naked behind a locked door. So with a grudging nod, he walked away.

I went back to stroking Ben's hair, whispering soothing words to him. And somehow, we both fell asleep.

MAY 20, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

My senses stirred with pleasure before my eyes opened. I was surrounded by warmth as I felt Ben — MY Ben — holding me in his arms. His beautiful cock was erect and pressed against my ass. His strong hand held my breast and squeezed it wonderfully. I could feel my crotch moistening and I rubbed my thighs together as pleasant thoughts of a morning spent making love filtered through my brain. This was what I'd been waiting for. Finally, after so long, we would be together again.

I realized that Ben was awake as well, and I turned my head around to face him. I felt the sun's rays shining down on my face as I smiled happily at the sight of my soulmate, and I said brightly, "Mmm ... morning, Ben!"

"Hi..." He smiled happily and squeezed me a little tighter, his hand idly rubbing my breast as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He dipped his face toward mine, puckering his lips. And I closed my eyes with a smile and moved in to meet him.

But before we could kiss, Ben's eyes popped open and he jerked his hand off my boob. My eyes popped open and I backed away from the anguish on his face.

"Oh, Dawn, Dawn. I'm so sorry," Ben muttered. He peeked beneath the blankets to confirm that he was fully naked, and that his bare cock was rubbing against my bare buttcheek where my thong panties failed to completely cover me.

"No, no. It's okay. Not your fault," I flustered and tugged my shirt down to my waist, hiding my own semi-nudity. I wanted him. I WANTED him.

"It is. It is," Ben stammered, still thinking that he was doing something that I didn't want him to do. How could I convince him that we belonged together, especially now that he was free? "I'm so sorry," he groaned.

"No, it's okay. It's nobody's fault," I sighed. Clearly, Ben's head wasn't where it needed to be yet. We needed time to talk. So I futzed around with my clothes, making sure I was fully dressed and presentable. And then I quickly sat up in bed.

Just then, Brandi appeared at the open doorway, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. "Figures." The older girl smirked. "One amazingly gorgeous blonde breaks up with you, so you drag another pretty blonde into your bedroom and fuck her brains out. And then you spend the night cuddling with a third hot blonde."

I blushed and looked down before slipping out of the bed, realizing that my boyfriend was going to be pretty upset with me. I'd have to put up with him until I could get the Ben thing worked together again. "I'd better go do damage control with Ryan."

Ben sat up, keeping the blankets covering his lap while wrapping his arms around his legs. He looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry about all this."

"No, don't be." I shook my head. As awkward as things had been in the morning, Ben looked remarkably better than he had yesterday when Adrienne had walked out on him and left behind the promise ring. I was happy that he was better. I was happy that I had been a part of making him better. And I told him, "I was right where I needed to be — where I wanted to be — last night."

Ben smiled wanly, his eyes full of gratitude. "Thanks, Dawn. Really."

I smiled and nodded, allowing myself a brief moment of hope. Was this the turning point? Was this the day Ben and I started to get back together, the way we were always meant to be?

But that was for later. I still had a boyfriend, and I steeled myself for the coming conversation. Ryan would have slept alone in my bed last night. The door to Ben's room had been open all night, so he'd know nothing untoward occurred.

But he STILL wouldn't be too happy with me.

I watched Paige storm out of Ben's room. She stomped over to the front door as if she weight 300 pounds and flung it open. And without a backwards glance she hurried away.

I arched an eyebrow, wondering just what had happened. If she and Ben had broken up, then maybe my worries about their relationship were over nothing. Maybe this was as bad as it could get.

Then Gwen got off the couch and headed for Ben's room. She'd arrived while Ben was screwing Paige's lights out, fidgeting nervously and obviously anxious to talk to Ben about what he'd done to her last night. Not 'with' her, 'to' her. But with Ben likely in a weird mood after whatever fight he'd just had with Paige...

I reached out a hand in warning. "Gwen, wait! Now is probably not the best time."

She turned around and looked at me, practically whimpering. "I've got to do this. I can't wait any longer."

She moved ahead and stood in the doorway to his room. "Hi, Ben. We need to talk."

What happened next was right out of a horror film. A hand reached out and grabbed the back of Gwen's neck. She squeaked and then was dragged into the room with a speed I didn't think was possible. The door slammed and then Gwen whimpered, "Oh, God. Not again!"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. And then the noises started up again.

Blushing as if I should be embarrassed for some reason, I looked around at Ryan, Bert, Robin, Dayna, Kevin, Kerri, Monique, and Matt. All of them seemed to be evaluating me, as if I was supposed to say or do something. Tracy, Julie, and Brandi were in the kitchen, otherwise the situation might feel even worse. I just put my head down and tried to focus on studying, to block out the sounds of my good friend getting the fucking of a lifetime.

Ten minutes later, Gwen's purse started ringing. Groaning as I listened to Gwen's orgasmic cries emanating from Ben's bedroom, I opened her purse and dug out a silver Samsung flip phone. Oh, of course. It was Rick Rusedski, Gwen's boyfriend.

I hit the side button to silence the call and then settled back down into the couch, sighing in resignation.

About five minutes later, the noises in the bedroom finally stopped. At that point I got up and went over to the door, knocking softly. Maybe I could catch Ben between rounds.

"Who is it?" Ben called.

"It's Dawn," I replied neutrally.

There was a moment's pause before he replied, "Come in."

Ben was buck naked and sitting on the edge of the mattress, his heels perched on the bed frame and his head in his hands. Behind him, Gwen was a limp puddle of naked flesh, clearly unconscious. She was lying on her right shoulder, the right arm extended straight out and the left arm flung behind her head. Her ass was flat on the bed with her legs spread to the sides and bent like a dead frog's. And her pussy STILL seemed to be spasming in the aftershocks of orgasm while leaking creamy white semen.

I arched an eyebrow and sighed wearily. "You did it again."

Ben grimaced and looked down. "Paige dumped me," he said, as if that would explain everything.

"Ah," I nodded as if I understood. Then I held up Gwen's cell phone. "Well, I just wanted to tell Gwen that her boyfriend called. But I guess he'll have to wait for her to wake up."

Ben grimaced and put his forehead in his palm again.

Well, at least Ben was breaking free of Adrienne. While I may not have chosen his exact methodology, I could appreciate that this was Ben's way of dealing with the breakup. He was a very sexual creature and getting laid was a very good way of clearing his head and moving on. Even though he looked to be in pain right now, he looked better than yesterday. And it was only the first day. If I gave him enough time — and maybe enough girls — he'd get over it and be ready to be my boyfriend, MY Ben, once again.

"Dinner will be ready soon," I said casually. I could be patient. I could wait. Then I pulled the door shut behind me. Everything would be fine.

MAY 21, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

He did the same thing with Monique. At least, unlike Gwen, Monique looked like she knew what she was getting into. I surveyed her lush, naked body, not looking so very different from Gwen's yesterday afternoon.

For that matter, Ben looked about the same, sitting up with his head in his hands. But he looked better. He was fresher. He was happier. And most importantly, he was single again.

Ben single ... and looking for love. Could we? Was this finally our time to get back together?

Now as long as he could get through this next hurdle. My favorite petite redhead had returned. I remember groaning beneath my breath the minute she'd arrived.

"Dinner will be ready soon," I told him. And then I added, "Just a warning: Paige is here."

MAY 22, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

Tracy McMillan finished up this morning. Marian Liu took her turn just before lunch. And Kerri Trainor spent the afternoon with Ben.

Ben was looking better and better each day. And when Julie Carpenter almost sheepishly went to knock on his door after dinner, I wryly shook my head and turned my focus back to my studying.

MAY 23, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

Arm-in-arm, Kerri and Julie waltzed out the door, happily-fucked expressions on their faces. By my count, that finished off everyone from Dayna's blindfold party, Ben having worked through everyone, including Dayna and Brandi. Only Angela had opted out, choosing to remain loyal to her boyfriend.

I stepped into the doorway, crossing my arms beneath my breasts and leaning against the door frame.

"You look content."

He shrugged. "What can I say? Fucking makes me happy."

I smirked and shook my head wryly. Leave it to Ben to cure all his ills through sex. It was good to know for our future that if my husband ever became unhappy, a few good orgasms with some strange pussy would cure him. I was about to make a comment to that point, but Brandi showed up and leaned against the opposite side of the doorjamb.

Ben's sister smiled and raised her eyebrows. "You do realize you've run out of our friends from the party."

Ben grinned and then obviously ogled me, his gaze rapidly moving up and down my body as if he could undress me with his eyes. "Well, not all of them."

I blushed when I realized he meant me, then rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Maybe if you're really nice to me." I rather liked the idea. It had been sooo long since Ben fucked my brains out and I could feel myself moistening at the very thought of it. "But seriously, what are you going to do now? We've still got one more final left this afternoon."

Ben shrugged. "Doesn't matter." He then looked significantly at Brandi, gratitude in his eyes. "They kept me distracted long enough to make it to today. Today Adrienne's finally going to talk to me."

Wait, WHAT?

I furrowed my eyebrows, red anger rising into my face as I thought about what Ben had just said. Adrienne? What the FUCK? I turned and glared at Brandi. "Wait, is THAT what this was all about? Keeping Ben occupied?"

Brandi shrugged. "I take care of my little brother. He was a mess after Adrienne left him and we both know what works on him." The older brunette arched an eyebrow at her little brother. "Ejaculations are pretty head-clearing, aren't they?"

Ben nodded and smiled. "Woulda failed every single final without them." Then he sighed a little more forlornly. "Hell, I probably would have driven myself insane overthinking everything, and hunted down Adrienne to plead with her to take me back."

'Take me back'??? My eyes goggled and I felt absolutely HORRIFIED by what I was hearing. "You ... You still want to get back together with Adrienne?" I squawked.

Ben frowned and looked at me carefully. "Uh, yeah..."

I gawked in disbelief and Ben furrowed his eyebrows while stammering, "She still hasn't even explained to me why she broke up with me. I guess a part of me is still hoping we can go back to the way things were."

"So ... all those girls," I glared at Brandi again. "YOU set those up?"

Brandi shrugged. "Well, me and Dayna."

"Ben didn't go out and seduce them on his own or anything?"

Brandi frowned. "What? No. Ben would never mess with our friends without going through us first, and the girls would never have fucked Ben without our permission. Oh, they certainly wanted to, especially after Dayna's party last December. But they never would have gone behind our backs."

I turned to Ben in confusion. "But I thought you were just taking out your aggression and anger at Adrienne? Like with Gwen!"

Ben shrugged. "I'm still not sure what happened with Gwen. My mind just sorta snapped those times."

"But I thought you were just fucking around because you were free!" My mouth was gaping open. "Adrienne dumped you. Paige realized you didn't love her. So you were just going to go nuts, screwing everything in sight and enjoy your freedom, right?"

For once, I did NOT understand what was going through Ben's head. Wasn't he healing himself so that he could get back together with ME? Wasn't that the whole point? Hadn't we discussed this way back when? I LOVE him. He's MINE. I let him let this thing with Adrienne play out until he came back to ME.

Ben shook his head and explained, "The sex was a welcome distraction; but in the end, I'll never feel for those girls what I felt with Adrienne. I love her, Dawn. I still love her. And I'd trade all of Brandi's friends to get her back. I thought you knew that."

WHAT THE FUCK??? I stared angrily at Ben. I furrowed my eyebrows and blinked rapidly, not understanding at all. And then without another word, I turned and stomped away.

"Dawn?" Ben called in confusion. "DAWN?"

But I was already gone.

A couple of minutes later, Ben burst onto the back patio. I was sitting on the old couch we'd stashed back here, my knees pulled up to my chest with my heels on the edge of the seat and my arms wrapped around my legs. He looked around for me frantically until I sighed, "I'm over here."

Ben quickly moved beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Dawn. Talk to me."

I exhaled and fought back my tears, failing and feeling the droplet roll down my cheek. I pursed my lips and stared straight ahead, not sure how to answer just yet.

Ben waited me out patiently. Knowing exactly what I needed, he gave me time to process. It was the same thing I did for him when he got into one of these moods. But he couldn't do nothing and so tried to settle for rubbing my shoulder. It still wasn't enough, and a few seconds later he just leaned forward and bear-hugged me.

That just pissed me off even more. The instant he started hugging me I brusquely pushed him away with my right arm. "Get away from me!" I hissed, more with tone than with volume.

"What?"

"Can't you tell? I'm still upset with you!" I spat.

"Upset? What? Why?" Ben stammered. Good lord the boy was clueless. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I exhaled, even more pissed off that Ben didn't already know. "What's wrong? You're still fucking in love with her! That's what's fucking wrong!"

"Huh?"

I canted my head back, staring at the roof above our heads as I groaned in annoyed frustration. "I'm such an idiot. I knew it. But I didn't realize. I'm such an idiot."

"Dawn. What are you talking about?"

"You! You fucking ASSHOLE!"

"Dawn!"

"Adrienne! You're still fucking in love with her! You still fucking want to get back together with her!"

He whimpered helplessly and admitted, "Of course."

"You don't get it, do you?" I raged.

He bit his lip nervously, wincing as he squeaked, "Does it bother you that I want to be together with Adrienne?"

"YES!!! I mean, no!" I sighed and dropped my feet off the bench, stomping them onto the ground. I planted my hands on my knees and hunched over, hanging my head down between my shoulders. Ben reached for me, but I slapped his hand away.

"Dawn..." Ben pleaded. "Talk to me."

"You gave her a promise ring, Ben," I gritted between my teeth.

"Uh, yeah," he stammered, clearly not understanding.

"You gave her a promise ring," I emphasized.

Ben shrugged.

He wasn't following. Why did I love this stupid moron again? I sighed, hanging my head down again. "What does that mean to you?"

Ben blinked. "It's a promise. Like ... I dunno. An engagement ring is a promise to get married. A promise ring is a promise to ... be committed, I guess."

"Or a promise to get engaged someday?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, yeah. I guess."

My eyes dipped and I glared at my stupid best friend. "Fuck you, Ben."

"Wha-?"

"Fuck. You." I bit out.

He winced.

"A promise ring means an engagement ring. An engagement rings means you're gonna get MARRIED. To HER. Not ME. Don't you get it? You weren't supposed to make some grand commitment to Adrienne!" I yelled, spittle flying off my mouth. "You weren't supposed to get that serious! You're supposed to be MY Ben!"

"What?"

"MY Ben! Mine!" I raged. "As in: NOT hers!"

"Dawn!"

"What about US?" I stormed.

"What ABOUT us?" Ben half-yelled right back. He thrust his hands at me. "There is no US! You're my best friend! And you're with Ryan!"

"I'm not gonna fucking marry Ryan!" I yelled.

"So, what? If Adrienne dumps me, are you gonna break up with him now for me?" Ben snarled. Then he leaned forward, leering at me lustfully and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "After all, you did say I could take you back when my relationship with Adrienne ended. Huh?"

"Fuck you!" [WHACK] I slapped Ben as hard as I possibly could. He didn't get it. I'd been WAITING for him this entire time. I'd held back from my relationship with Ryan. I'd patiently advised him on keeping Adrienne for HIS sake. I'd bided my time for over a year, just hoping to be reunited with my one true love and my soulmate. And all he could think of was picking me up on the rebound just in case his true love for Adrienne didn't work out? WHAT THE FUCK???

"I am NOT your fucking fallback!" I spat at him, and then stood up and stomped back to the door.

When I glanced back, Ben looked completely shocked that I'd slapped him. I stopped at the door, my hand on the knob, and a shudder went through my entire body. Was this really how it was all going to end? Was this really how Ben and I broke up for good? Yeah, technically we'd been broken up for over a year. But only now did I really have to face that Ben belonged to her, and not to me. Now I really had to face that he wasn't just coming back to me to pick up where we left off.

The love we shared from the time we were born wasn't there anymore. The love we made at those summer camps couldn't be recaptured.

My Ben was gone.

My soulmate was gone.

Biting my lip, I turned to face this new Ben, the male slut who was in love with another girl. And I felt the rivers of tears pouring down both of my cheeks. "I thought we were going to wait for each other, Ben," I sighed dejectedly. "I was going to be your Dawn, forever. And I thought you would be mine. I guess I was wrong.."

88 Dawn's Story IIl

MAY 23, 2003, SUMMER BREAK

I just couldn't stay away.

I hated Ben and yet, I loved him. I had fully intended not to talk to him again until we met up at camp. At camp, I figured, we'd somehow find the magic that would make us understand each other and realize what we really meant to each other. But until then, I had to step away. I had to give him more time to get over Adrienne and realize how much he needed me. Our worlds wouldn't be complete until he figured that out.

I was doing fine today. Ben saw me in the morning on his way out. I just avoided his gaze until he left. And then I spent the next ten minutes trying to breathe normally.

After his final, Ben had his talk with Adrienne. I worried for a little while, but the next time I saw him I knew it was really over. She wasn't exactly giving him back to me, but Adrienne had broken up with Ben.

I was actually surprised he didn't grab someone and start fucking their brains out right away. But then, I figured that he'd been doing that all week just to keep himself occupied until the hammer finally fell. Now that it had, apparently sex wasn't the first thing on his mind.

Drinking, however, was. We threw an End of the Year party, and Ben was pounding shots and screaming cheers in a dozen or so different languages. Of course, getting to a dozen languages meant he had to down a dozen shots. And I was beginning to worry about him.

Still, I kept my distance. Ben didn't try to approach me apart from some longing looks across the room. It hurt him, to have his best friend nearby but avoiding him. But hell, this hurt me, too. I just couldn't face him right now. Not when I'd gotten my hopes up that we'd be together again, only to find that he hadn't been of a like mind.

I saw when Matt Kanemura, Brandi's boyfriend, first cut Ben off. I felt a pressure deep in my gut to DO something about it, and when Ben started getting belligerent, I realized my conscience wouldn't let me stay totally aloof. If Ben got into serious trouble and I did nothing to stop him, I'd hate myself forever. So I tried to slow him down and he practically collapsed right in front of me.

Poor guy. Lost his girlfriend — both of them — and his best friend in the span of a couple of days. I couldn't imagine what was going through his head. I got him back into his bedroom. And for a while I was tempted to stay with him, pull his head into my lap, and cuddle with him until my happy Ben came back.

But he wasn't my Ben anymore.

So I kissed him tenderly, platonically, on his forehead. Then I got off the bed and left the room.

"Hey, babe," I said softly when I found Ryan. "Let's get out of here, okay?"

My loving boyfriend put his arm around my shoulders, took one last look back at Ben's bedroom, and then we left.

MAY 24, 2003, SUMMER BREAK

I just couldn't stay away.

I hated Ben and yet, I loved him. I wanted him to understand how much he'd hurt me. But I didn't want him to be miserable for the rest of the summer. The last thing he would remember of me was me helping him into his room and then walking away, leaving him when he needed my help to get through his pain.

I'd abandoned him. And I was sorry for it. And I HAD to tell him that I was sorry. Even if it wasn't my place to comfort him, I could at least not ADD to his misery.

"Take me home, Ryan," I said softly.

My boyfriend looked over at me. We had spent the morning getting breakfast and hanging out with Gwen and Robin, helping them pack up their dorm rooms. Now Ryan and I were going off to lunch by ourselves. But I couldn't go just yet. Maybe Ben and Adrienne hadn't left just yet. They were probably already gone; but maybe ... just maybe ... it wasn't too late. "Take me home," I repeated. "I need to say goodbye."

My boyfriend looked over at me, a curious expression on his face. But bless his heart, without a word, Ryan just moved up to the next streetlight and signaled to turn around.

A few minutes later, we pulled up to the curb just in time. Ben and Adrienne were standing by the Mustang, having not yet climbed in. I sprinted out the door and up the driveway. And I slammed into Ben from behind, choking out a few sobs as I wrapped myself around his body.

"Dawn?" Ben gasped. His hands jerked up to touch my arms.

I didn't answer except to kiss the back of his neck. In that moment, I felt his shoulders relax as a mountain load of tension slid away from him. And I felt the same tension leaving me as well.

We were connected, after all.

"I'm sorry, Ben," I said softly, right into his ear.

He didn't answer. He didn't even turn around to look at me. He just bent his head and gently patted my hands.

I kissed his neck again and sighed. "I'm your Dawn. Forever." My voice cracked and I WILLED him to understand that when the world came to an end, I would still be waiting for him.

Ben turned around and gave me the warmest hug I'd ever felt. It was better than the hugs my parents gave me when I was little. It was more relieving than even Ben's hugs when he'd raced up in the middle of the night after the whole Mark incident. I pushed my chin into his shoulder and he rubbed my cheek with his own. We twisted together for a good minute, hugging each other tighter and tighter until neither of us could breathe.

It ended perfectly. He turned and kissed my cheek, whispering, "And I'm your Ben."

JUNE 2003, SUMMER BREAK

"Wow..." I breathed as I pressed the phone to my ear. I sagged back, feeling Ryan's strong arms wrapping around my waist as I leaned against his chest. Still slightly shell-shocked, I didn't react when he leaned around and pecked my cheek.

"You okay, babe?"

I nodded slowly. I hadn't even noticed Ryan coming up and hugging me while I was on the phone. What Ben had just told me sent chills down my spine.

"You got SHOT?" I gasped into the phone. This time, I felt Ryan tense up behind me.

"Twice," Ben replied at the other end of the line.

I dropped the phone. Just imagining Ben with two bullet holes in his body frightened the crap out of me. Ben. MY Ben. He'd nearly died. I'd nearly lost him FOREVER.

I scrambled and picked up the phone, quickly putting it to my ear. Ben didn't currently sound in distress, but I HAD to know. Eden. Emma. Brooke. "Ben, tell me that everyone is okay!"

"Everyone's fine. Brandi didn't tell you that part?"

"No! I haven't seen her in a couple of days!" I exclaimed. "And my mom didn't tell me anything about guns or shooting! You got shot?"

"Yeah, but I'm fine, everyone's fine," Ben said reassuringly. "I was a little freaked out about Adrienne for a minute there, but everyone is fine. Emma was untouched and Adrienne just had some cuts."

"What happened to Adam?"

Ben took a deep breath. "He's dead."

I dropped the phone again.

All this death. All this craziness. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to rush down to Ben and promise to never leave his side again. This is a fickle world we live in, and every day could be our last. Could I afford to wait for my destiny to come? Or could one of us end up DEAD before it ever happened?

But I tamped down on those urges, hanging my head. I loved Ben. I would always love him. But we weren't like that anymore. I wasn't just going to wait around for a stupid boy to figure out I was the love of his life, soulmate or not. He'd shown me with the whole Adrienne thing that he wasn't thinking on that level yet. He was just looking for whatever would make him happy for now. Could I fulfill that role for him? Maybe. But didn't I deserve the absolute devotion I wanted to give him? When was BEN going to give that to me?

Maybe Ben just needed a couple more years of seasoning. After all, Ryan was two years older and had been giving me that kind of devotion since he was Ben's age. Maybe I just had to wait and see if Ben matured into the man I knew he could be: the kind of man who would be right for me.

Maybe he wouldn't.

Either way, that was up to Ben now. I'd wasted too much of my life — and too much of Ryan's efforts — to waste any more. Those were the decisions I'd made in the month since we'd left Berkeley. And not even getting shot by Adrienne's deranged brother could change that.

Ben told me the rest of the story. I listened in mild shock at the violence of it all. Crazy shit had happened to me in my life, but nothing quite so ... fatal. I still couldn't believe Ben had actually been shot.

But that concern was wiped away by a new crisis. Ben tried to joke, "I'm fine, Dawn. Well, I may not be able to go swimming with you when we get to camp because the wounds will still be healing; but other than that, I'm perfectly healthy."

"Oh, Bennn..." I moaned forlornly, realizing that my timing really SUCKED. After everything he'd already been through, I had more bad news for him.

"ReLAX," Ben tried to reassure me. "I'm fine."

"No, it's not that," I moaned in the same tone. I looked at Ryan, gazing into his eyes for strength as I gathered myself together. Then deciding I just had to spit it out, I stated, "I was going to tell you today: I'm not coming to camp."

There was a thudding sound as apparently it was Ben's turn to drop the phone. I heard the mad scramble as he picked it back up and then gasped, "Wait, what?" I could imagine his frustration. Eighteen years we'd been together, with never a single miss...

... until now. I sighed and tried to explain, "I know we didn't put much effort into finding internships for this summer, but Dayna's company wants extra interns and she recommended me. It's a paid internship, I'll get lots of good experience, and specifically this'll really help make sure I get into the Undergraduate Business program. They made the offer and I already accepted."

And more to the point, I don't trust myself around you. But I didn't tell him that part. I knew that if I met up with Ben at camp, I wouldn't be able to resist sleeping with him and betraying my boyfriend. And right now, maintaining a relationship with the one man who truly dedicated himself to me mattered more.

"You're not coming to camp?" Ben complained.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. But no."

All I heard was a bitchy snarl before the line cut off. Wow ... Ben actually hung up on me. How... immature...

I pulled my head away and furrowed my eyebrows, staring at my cell phone, feeling annoyed. But I shut down my annoyance. After all, Ben had just gone through a painful trauma and had been shot twice. I could forgive him a short temper in these trying times.

So I called him back. I wanted him to know that I was still his friend.

But of course, it went straight to his voicemail. I could already see Ben sulking on his bed, hitting END on his phone like a petulant child.

I sighed. THIS was why I had to wait for him to grow up.

JULY 9, 2003, SUMMER BREAK

After never calling me back before he left for camp, I was absolutely THRILLED to hear from Ben on my birthday. "You can't believe how happy I am that you called me!" I gushed into the phone.

"You're my Dawn," Ben said sweetly. "And it's your birthday. Just because you're not at camp this year doesn't change that. Still ... I wish you WERE here..."

I sighed. "I know. I'm still sorry it had to be this way."

"Don't worry about it. If nothing else, I'm sure Ryan is thrilled you're staying nearby."

I chuckled and looked around the room. At present, I was all by myself in my house, having come home early from my internship. And Ryan hadn't yet come by to visit after his own day at work. My parents didn't know it, but Ryan was pretty much spending every single night with me since we could get away with it; and Dayna promised she wouldn't rat me out. So on that point alone, Ryan was thrilled I wasn't at camp this month. And then of course, Ryan was doubly-thrilled I wasn't with Ben. "He wouldn't say it, but he was freaking out about the idea of you and me at camp again. Last year was one thing, but ... well..."

"I know. It's fine. Less temptation this way," Ben admitted. "Besides, your little sister has been quite eager to take up the slack. Seriously Dawn, DJ has been an absolute nymphomaniac. Girl hasn't left my side for the entire camp."

"Really?" I giggled. I thought back to when I informed my own family that I was going to stick around the house. DJ had gotten really, really excited.

"You know," I began in a thoughtful tone. "As soon as DJ found out I wasn't coming to camp, her eyes got REALLY big. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think it's because she knew you were going to be single this summer. That girl's had a crush on you for a long time."

"Really?" Ben asked in surprise.

"Really. I once asked her why she's never settled down with a serious boyfriend. At first, I thought it was because she'd gotten too much advice from Dayna about playing with many boys being more fun than just being with one. But DJ just said that none of the boys she ever met measured up to you."

"Really?"

I giggled. "Really. I wonder if I should worry about little sis trying to poach you while I'm gone."

Ben chuckled. "Nah. We're just friends ... well ... horny friends. Girl won't leave my dick alone."

I laughed, imagining horny Ben and horny DJ with a big camp and no big sister around. "I'll bet. And I'm sure you have lots of opportunities with my old cabin being empty most of the time."

"We have. Plus, we spend a lot of time at the clearing."

I went quiet.

He didn't...

SHE didn't...

"You took her to our clearing?" I asked coldly, ice running through my voice.

Ben could already tell I was angry. He practically whimpered, "Uh, yeah."

"To OUR clearing?" I growled. "You fucked her in OUR special clearing? Alone?"

"Whoa! Whoa!" Ben stammered. I could even picture him waving his hands defensively. "Wait a minute; DJ said quite explicitly that she asked your permission. And now that I think about it, she said you specifically gave her the green light to keep me company this summer since you were quote/unquote 'abandoning' me."

"I never said ANY of that!"

"What? I even asked her if she was lying!" Ben protested. Then I heard a commotion behind him and he whispered harshly. "DJ said she knew you'd rip her head off later if you found out."

"I would! I will!"

And then I proceeded to verbally thrash my best friend for violating OUR most special place.

I was still upset when Ryan got home. I'm sure he wasn't expecting to find me the way he did.

He was late, an hour later than usual. I was actually starting to get mad at him for it. Here was my 19th birthday, with no family around except for Dayna. No Mom or Dad. No Ben. Just me. Not even my boyfriend could bother to show up on time. And all this on a day I found out Ben was fucking my little sister in OUR clearing.

So I moped on the bed. And I was surprised when Ryan walked through the door, holding a bouquet of pink roses, my favorites. He was dressed in a tuxedo, a smile on his face as he started theatrically, "And now my dear, shall we... Dawn?"

He cut off when he realized I wasn't in the mood. And he quickly crossed over to me, kneeling and reaching for my hands. "Are you okay?"

I didn't answer him. I just furrowed my eyebrows in confusion at his attire and pointed. "What's with the penguin suit?"

He gave me a lopsided grin. "It was a surprise. Remember how we watched that Japanese 'Shall We Dance?' a couple of weeks ago? Well, you said you'd never been formally dancing and I thought it would be fun to go tonight."

Absolutely incredible. How did I ever manage to get such a special guy?

I looked up at my boyfriend, seeing his sterling blue eyes and handsome face as he smiled down at me. For years, he'd been considerate and caring. He always made me his priority and never once failed to show me he loved me. Yeah, we had our fights and disagreements. But if you took away the jealousies over Ben, Ryan and I probably had the least number of fights out of any couple I'd ever HEARD of, let alone met. He was a perfect guy, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why I'd kept him at arms length for so long.

Blinking, I looked up at him with moist eyes and said softly, "Tell me how much I mean to you." My voice was filled with need.

It took him a second to remember what I meant, but it came to him quickly. This would be the third time since April I'd asked him to tell me how much I meant to him. And he changed the words every time.

"You don't mean a lot to me," Ryan began, just like always. "You mean everything to me. You're more than my world, Dawn; you're my Universe. You are every season of the year. You are the heat of Summer, filled with light and warmth. You are the beauty of Fall, with ever changing moods like the colors of Autumn leaves. You are the purity of Winter, cool and absolute. And you are the promise of Spring, making me believe that my time will come. You are my sunrise and sunset; and at night I eagerly await the new coming of the Dawn."

Tears now fell down my cheeks as I reached up to Ryan, grabbing his shirt and tugging him down to me. I hungrily sought out his lips, kissing him so hard my teeth hurt as I pulled him onto my body, crushing myself so wonderfully beneath his heavy weight.

Then I pulled back and stroked his cheeks while lovingly looking into his eyes. I made sure I had his full and undivided attention as I stared right into him, saying, "You don't have to wait for your time anymore, Ryan. That time is now. I love you."

Uncontrollably, Ryan smiled WAY bigger than I'd ever seen him do. He couldn't help it. He'd waited years for me to say that, and now that I had, he couldn't be happier.

But that happiness was tempered by skepticism. His eyes searched through mine, clicking back and forth as if looking for a 'but' to follow.

There was none. I just pulled him down and kissed him again, a passionate growl rising up in my throat.

But he pulled away and gasped, "Dawn-Dawn-Dawn-Dawn-Dawn." He paused, heaving for air. "Don't do this to me. Don't do this if you don't really mean it," he rasped.

"I mean it," I giggled and pulled him in for another kiss.

"N-no," he pulled away, shaking his head. "I know the score. I know you're in love with Ben. You've ALWAYS been in love with Ben. And I knew, deep in my heart, that I was just keeping you warm until he came around to his senses. Please, Dawn. Don't do this to me if you don't really mean it!"

I took a deep breath and looked straight at my boyfriend. "I love you, Ryan," I said firmly. "And you need to know this: I used to think I would end up back with Ben, someday. I used to. We grew up together. He was my first everything. But we've grown up into different people. He's still my best friend, but we're not romantic anymore. He has his life. I have mine. And YOU'RE at the center of my life, now. Okay?"

Ryan blinked several times. "So ... I'm not just keeping you occupied until Ben comes to his senses and wants you back?"

I sighed. That WAS how I'd seen Ryan a long time ago. Well, maybe not so long ago; but it wasn't the way I saw him now. "No," I said firmly. "You're more to me than that."

Ryan frowned and looked skeptical.

I sighed. "Ben is my past. But when I see you, babe, I see my future. Look, we've only been dating for less than two years. But you're not just a temporary boyfriend to me. I want to see where this goes, how our relationship can develop. I want to find out how our feelings can grow if we stay together through your graduation. Heck, I want to see how our feelings can grow if we stay together through MY graduation, and beyond."

"Are you serious?" Ryan looked dubious.

"Yes, I am," I told him with heartfelt conviction. "When I see you, I see a man who just might make me happy for the rest of our lives. And for that, I really and truly do love you."

I kissed him again. And this time, the stupid boy didn't do anything else to stop me.

We never made it to the dance. Actually, I ended up tearing his tuxedo, which wasn't cheap, in my haste to get it off him. And even then, I don't think his pants ever came fully free of his left ankle. Neither of us wanted to take the time to remove them before my boyfriend's wonderful cock slid home inside me.

"Yesss..." I hissed, my fingers clawing at Ryan's back as he hunched over my prone body, urgently thrusting with his hips to drive the powerful rod into my clenching pussy over and over again.

"Dawn..." he moaned, repeatedly, in love with the sound of my name. "Dawn..."

"Fuck me, Ryan. Love me. Love me, baby," I crooned back at him, rolling my hips to meet his. I held his face in my hands, staring right into his eyes. I wanted him to see mine, to see that I really and truly loved him. I wanted him to feel my love radiating out from every pore in my body while he passionately pushed part of his body, part of his soul, into mine.

That night, I showed my boyfriend just how special our lovemaking could be when we both loved each other, holding nothing back. And when we fell asleep together with his cock slowly going soft inside me, nothing else in the universe mattered.

AUGUST 2003, SUMMER BREAK

"You'd better get going. My family will be home soon." I pecked Ryan on the lips and then pushed him away lightly.

Smiling, he took a step backward. But he stopped and looked at me with both trepidation and hope on his face. "You're serious about this? I should go ahead and put down the deposit?"

I smiled wanly. "Well, maybe wait until tomorrow. My decision is made, but my parents may still pitch a fit."

Ryan nodded and then blew me a last kiss. He then turned and headed up the sidewalk to get into his car.

I wasn't actually worried about my parents. They were protective, but they were very into letting us girls be independent and make our own decisions. We always tried to reward that freedom by being responsible, succeeding most of the time. And in this case, I already knew they'd let me make this big decision as well: I was moving in with Ryan.

The idea started a week ago. Ryan had been looking at several different apartments himself, wanting a place to stay closer to campus and closer to me. It was simply too much of a drag to take the BART up every day and to live at home. He felt like he was intruding every time he crashed over at the house, and he felt doubly uncomfortable knowing that both Ben and my sister were in the house, potentially able to hear us if we decided to get intimate.

Originally, Ryan was going to get his own place and live on his own. It would be expensive, but he'd manage if he had to. Or maybe he'd find a roommate. We'd already discussed sleeping over at each other's place from time to time.

One complication was that at the Berkeley house, Adrienne and I would ACTUALLY have to share the big bedroom, with Ben taking over my old room. Now that Adrienne and Ben were broken up, it just didn't make sense for them to share anymore. And since Adrienne and I were the young girls on the totem pole, we'd have to share. THAT would make it difficult to bring Ryan over to my place.

But after Ryan had practically lived at my house for the past month, I was loathe to be parted from him. Ever since declaring my love for him on my birthday, our relationship had bloomed into something intense and passionate and wonderful. I didn't want to be away from him. So a week ago, when he asked me to move in with him, I jumped at the idea.

Ryan had been surprised. He never expected me to go for it. After all, I'd been the one keeping our relationship at a measured pace for almost two years. But that didn't mean he wasn't thrilled with my positive response. I knew my parents could afford it, this would solve the housing dilemma with Ben and Adrienne, and besides, it wasn't like my Mom and Dad were under any illusions that I wouldn't be spending all my time at Ryan's apartment anyways. Worst case, if I broke up with the guy, I could always move back to the house.

So I wasn't worried about my parents. The one person I WAS worried about? Ben.

How would HE react to the news? With something this momentous, I knew it would change my relationship with my best friend forever. This wasn't just about where my head hit the pillow every night, this was a choice. This was me choosing Ryan over him. And DJ or no DJ, I had no idea how Ben would take things. I didn't think it likely there was anything he could say that would change my mind. But this was Ben. He just had that effect on me. Because deep down in my heart, I knew that if Ben promised to drop DJ and be with me and love me forever if I only didn't go ... I would.

I loved Ryan, but Ben still had that power over me. So I told Ryan to wait a day. I'd give my boyfriend the answer tomorrow.

It was highly unlikely Ben would react that way. But am I a bad person for hoping he might?

Ben's family arrived first, or at least their van did. With the balance of kids thrown off, it turned out that Ben and Brooke had ridden with my parents and DJ, and had yet to arrive.

My heart nearly stopped when they did. Showtime.

Brandi was the first to greet her little brother. They hugged, Ben lifting his big sister off her feet for a few seconds in their happiness. The two chatted briefly and then moved along, Brandi going to Brooke and Dayna leaving DJ to go for Ben. My own big sister laughed and patted Ben's ass before moving on.

And then Ben's eyes met mine.

I'd stayed in the doorway to the house, biting my lip nervously. A flood of uncertainty washed through me, and I saw Ben hesitate when he felt my mood. But then he stepped forward and came right to me.

I opened my arms as he approached and Ben stepped into them for a hug. Neither of us said anything. Neither of us needed to. Time stopped and the world ceased to spin while he and I simply enjoyed the pleasantness of holding each other once again. We hadn't seen each other in person since that last gasp hug the day he and Adrienne drove away from the Berkeley house back in May, and only now did I realize that my world had been slightly off-balance ever since he'd gone.

Yeah, I loved Ryan. But I needed Ben around me like I needed air to breathe.

Eventually, we pulled apart and looked at each other. I stared into his soft, expressive eyes. He looked me up and down and then stated knowingly, "I guess we need to talk."

I nodded wordlessly, took his hand, and led him inside the house.

We ended up in my bedroom. I turned and sat down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard while Ben sat just in front of me. I felt a little weird, knowing I'd made love to my boyfriend on this bed only a couple of hours before.

"You okay?" he asked with some concern. "You don't look so good."

"'Very well'," I corrected his grammar. "I don't look very well."

Ben chuckled and rolled his eyes. And just like that, a smile spread across my face as our old comfortability came back to us. "It's good to see you," he said warmly.

"You too," I replied in the same tone. "Things weren't so great the last time we saw each other."

"Things were pretty good the last time," he corrected. "They just weren't so great right before that."

I blushed and nodded as I thought of how I'd embraced him from behind and kissed the back of his neck just before he drove home from Berkeley. But Ben winced at the memory of what came before. He'd been going through hell, and I hadn't made it any easier on him by cutting myself off from him. I'd been angry and disappointed in him, but he still had to have been feeling a lot of pain.

But that was then. This was now. Ben moved us along by asking, "What's bothering you? Are you upset that I started dating DJ?"

I was more bothered by moving in with Ryan and Ben's potential reaction, but talking about DJ would give me the time to gather my courage. "What's up with that, anyways? Are you rebounding?"

He shook his head. "If I'd hooked up with any other girl, I'd have said yes. Even with DJ, I'll admit there was a desire to fill the void inside me. But she's more than that."

"How?" I arched an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "She's DJ. She just is."

It wasn't really an answer, but I let it go. I just looked down and exhaled. "I can't say I'm thrilled with it. After all, there's a part of me that wishes you would just sit around with your hand on your dick, pining away for me." I smiled mischievously at that. "But I can't blame either of you. I knew the way DJ felt about you. I knew she was going to go after you. And ... well ... DJ's a very pretty girl. You and she are quite compatible and magical things happen at camp."

Ben leaned forward and touched my hand. "It doesn't mean I don't still care about you. You're still my Dawn."

I returned a small smile. "And you're still my Ben." "I then tilted my head back and sighed. "But it would be SO weird if you end up my brother-in-law."

We both chuckled at that, and Ben shook his head, saying, "We've been together for three weeks, and DJ is barely seventeen. I don't think marriage is in either of our plans just yet."

I smiled wider at that pronouncement. At least I didn't have to worry about that anytime soon. He was right: we were still very young.

"So if it's not my thing with DJ, then what's wrong?" Ben queried. "Why do you look like you're about to tell me you decided to transfer to Alaska State and leave me forever or something?"

My lower lip quivered and I felt like crying. In a way, I WAS leaving Ben forever. I was making this choice to go with Ryan, and giving up on waiting for my soulmate. It wasn't like this decision was a be-all, end-all; but it was a very clear step away from Ben. I supposed this was inevitable. After all, I'd already let myself truly fall in love with Ryan.

Ben started to panic when he saw the look on my face, and nervously, he asked, "Are you really leaving me?"

"Not exactly," I said hurriedly, not wanting him to get the wrong impression.

"What does that mean?"

I whimpered and croaked, muttering questions to myself about why this felt so hard. When Ben wasn't here, when it was just me and Ryan, it all made so much SENSE! Why couldn't I think straight around Ben? Momentarily overwhelmed, I buried my face in my hands and started crying for real.

"Whoa, whoa." Ben wrapped me up in a hug. He rocked me gently, soothingly. And in a warm, reassuring voice, he intoned, "Hey ... hey ... It's alright. You can talk to me. It's alright."

"I'm sorry, Ben!" I wailed and picked my head up. I could feel the moisture on my face and I tried to thumb it away.

"Hey, slow down ... slow down..." Ben kept rocking me and I fought to regain control of my emotions. It was just so... intense ... having to do this after not having even SEEN Ben in three months, after MISSING our summer camp. I reminded myself to take deep, calming breaths. I gritted my teeth and balled my hands into fists. And Ben held those fists between in his big, warm palms. He looked right at me, such a calming brown peace in his eyes. "Talk to me," he said gently.

I finally sighed and just said plainly, "Ryan's getting an apartment off-campus. He asked me to move in with him. And I accepted."

Now Ben looked like he wanted to cry.

OCTOBER 2003, SOPHOMORE YEAR

I had to admit, things were going much better than I'd expected. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be in truly in love with Ryan and had given up on reuniting with Ben, I would have said you were crazy. If you'd told me I'd be living with Ryan while Ben was dating my little sister, DJ, I'd have tried to get you locked up in a mental institution. And yet that's exactly how our lives were currently playing out.

Oddly enough, the new arrangements had done wonders for relaxing any tensions between me and Ben, and also between Ryan and Ben. Now that I was living with my boyfriend and spending most of my time with him, as opposed to spending all day and then most evenings with Ben, Ryan had totally relaxed about the whole "Ben-is-going-to-steal-Dawn-away-from-me" bit. And when Ryan relaxed, I found myself far less defensive about it and far less careful around Ben. I mean, I always held Ben's hand whenever we walked, but I always had to pay attention not to hug him too tight or kiss him too affectionately or crap like that, for fear of inciting Ryan's jealousy.

Now? I was just totally relaxed. And somehow the sexual tension between Ben and I had lessoned as well. Hell, I could advise him on how to better fuck my little sister without either of us thinking about him doing the same things to me. And when Ben complained about the weeklong delays between visiting DJ for sex, I took it upon myself to talk with both Brandi and Adrienne to help keep their brother well-satisfied. All three of them were happier than before, and all three of them individually thanked me for giving them the extra kick in the butt.

After all, who ISN'T more relaxed when they're getting frequently laid?

But then an old nemesis re-entered Ben's life.

None of us had really seen Paige Jacobsen since the end of last year. I'd been surprised when Paige didn't show up to hang out with our crew when the semester started, but I didn't exactly mind her absence, either. So I hadn't brought her up and no one else really did, either.

It was by Sather gate when Ben and I bumped into her ... and some grungy loser of a guy. We recognized her right away based on her slutty-Catholic schoolgirl attire, even skankier than usual.

"Paige?" I stammered in surprise.

The skanky redhead was making out with the grungy loser, and she pulled away to say, "Dawn! Hey!"

With a frown, she then turned to Ben and growled, "Oh, hi Ben."

I was polite as we made conversation, and my opinion of the girl fell even further the longer we talked. I always knew she was an over-sheltered naïve little girl just WAITING to get into trouble; and once away from Ben's constant supervision, she seemed to have found it. Hell, she was BAKED ... on-CAMPUS.

In the end, I just stared in wonder as the girl glared right at Ben and stated clearly, "I'm bored of talking to you, Ben. C'mon, Jerry. Let's go have sex before my buzz wears off. I'll even let you cum in my pussy today."

"Paige..." Ben groaned and reached out to her, clearly anguished over seeing his de facto little sister in such a state. But the girl was already walking away. And as icing on the cake, she flipped Ben the bird as she left.

What a fucking bitch!

Ben stared after her for a long time. I knew he needed space, so I patiently waited him out. And eventually, he turned and started walking toward home.

I quickly fell into step alongside him. "It's not your fault, Ben."

"If I hadn't broken her heart, she wouldn't BE with him," he said in shame.

I sighed and squeezed Ben's hand. "That part was unavoidable. You tried to tell her you didn't have those feelings for her, but she let herself fall in love with you anyways. A broken heart was inevitable."

"But I made it worse by dating her."

"Adrienne arranged that," I tried to soothe.

"So what? This is all Adrienne's fault?"

I frowned, shaking my head. "It's nobody's fault. Paige is just doing her own thing. You can't control her. You never could. Yeah, you kept her in check a bit, but that girl's been looking for trouble since well before you showed up on the scene."

"No she hasn't."

"Of course she has," I rolled my eyes, thinking of Paige's checkered history, something Ben seemed to have blinded himself to all this time. "Look at how you met. She got smacked on the street because she'd been teasing some scruffy locals at a house party. At every party of ours, she was doing her best to get falling-down drunk, and would have succeeded much more often if you weren't there to stop her. She's a stupid girl and whatever shit happens to Paige happens because of her own stupid decisions!"

I realized I had a pretty nasty tone of voice, and Ben looked taken aback by it. "You were her friend. How can you say that about her?" He frowned.

I sighed. "I can say it because it's the truth. She's a sheltered, naïve little girl who's running wild with no one to restrain her."

"I'm supposed to be the one to restrain her."

I leveled my gaze at my best friend. "That's not your job."

"I made it my job. I still care about her."

"Clearly, she doesn't feel the same way. Or did you not notice her doing her best to rub her sex life and drug use right in your face?"

"I've got to do something," he pouted.

"Like what? Tell her not to have sex with her boyfriend? Tell her not to smoke weed?"

"Yes!"

"And you think she'll listen?"

"Yes!"

"Why? You already told her you don't love her. It looks like she's moved on from you. She's not your problem anymore."

"How can you be so cold?"

I rolled my eyes and then before I knew it, I'd barked, "Because she's a fucking BITCH!" Surprised by my own outburst, I immediately stopped walking.

Ben stopped and turned to take both of my hands. Instantly, his face was filled with concern for me, Paige now forgotten. "Whoa, whoa. Dawn, you okay?"

I looked away from him, grinding my teeth and working to calm myself. I'd resented Paige for well over a year now, and that resentment I'd kept hidden away was now boiling up out of my control. "She doesn't deserve you, Ben," I griped.

"What?"

"Look." I turned and stared straight into Ben's eyes, willing him to understand where I was coming from. "I know it's not my place to be jealous. We're not together anymore. But I can still want what's best for you, and that little tramp is NOT worth your time."

"What?" He didn't understand.

I sighed. "I was happy for you that you found Adrienne. She's got a checkered past, but she's a special, special girl. I know how dearly she loves you and most important to me, she wants what's best for YOU. THAT was a good relationship. If the two of you somehow lasted and got married and all that, I would have been able to accept you being with her. She is good enough for you."

Ben blinked, just trying to process what I was saying,

"And of course I'm happy for DJ. I love my baby sister and if you and she are meant to be together, then I can be happy for the both of you."

Ben just blinked again.

"And there are a lot of nice girls around you. Some of them are only in it for the sex, and that's fine. You make them happy, they make you happy, and everybody wins. But Paige always wanted more, and frankly I was never happy about you dating her."

"Huh?"

"That relationship was all one-way, Ben. She leeched off of you at every turn. Even before you two hooked up, she followed you around. You were her world, and even if you didn't love her, you devoted so much of your energy into protecting her and caring about her. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve you. And what did she do when it was over? She told you she'd be your friend and then the first chance she got, she ran away to some... punkass ... For fuck's sake, Ben, she was making cracks right AT you about fucking him. It proves that she never really loved you. She never really cared about you, or wanted what's best for YOU the way Adrienne did. She just obsessed about you like a fucking stalker until you finally got rid of her."

"What?"

"She wasn't good enough for you," I stated indignantly. "And I won't let her suck up any more of you than she already has!"

Ben frowned. "So what? You're the arbiter of who's good enough to be with me?"

"Yes!" I huffed, feeling the tears forming in my face. If he wasn't going to be with me then I'd be DAMNED if he ended up with someone I didn't approve of. "You're MY Ben!" I screamed.

Ben rubbed his temples like he had a massive migraine, my declaration clearly too much for a mere male to handle. But almost immediately, he took one look at me and decided that I was more in need of comfort. So he stepped forward, hugged me fiercely, and soothed, "Dawn ... Dawn..."

I realized that I'd let my emotions get the best of me, first with bitching about Paige and then getting all high and mighty over who was good enough for Ben. "I'm sorry," I apologized and looked up into Ben's face. He looked so handsome, so perfect, so ... well, he looked like my Ben. " I know I don't have any right to be — not anymore — but I'm jealous. Even if you're not my boyfriend, I want to spend so much time with you. You're my best friend. You've always been my best friend. And if some tramp isn't good enough for you, I don't want her taking you away from me."

"Dawn..."

I realized then, that even though I'd chosen Ryan, Ben would ALWAYS have a piece of my heart. We were linked at birth, and nothing in the universe could ever take that away. "I love you, Ben. I always have. And I always will," I said sincerely.

"I know. I love you, too," he replied in the same tone. And then, unexpectedly, he bent to kiss me.

I felt my breath taken away when his mouth covered mine. It wasn't a kiss of passion. It wasn't a kiss of lust. It was just a kiss of love, the timeless love that had bonded Ben and me since we were first born. I realized that I hadn't felt him kiss me on the lips since camp, well over a year ago. That tender touch filled me with a joy I hadn't felt in a long time, and gave me a total sense of completion. And we stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a long, long time.

"Ahem," a new voice cut in.

Shit! Ryan! I jerked away from Ben, and we turned to see my boyfriend standing not five feet away, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, hey babe." I hurriedly pulled away from Ben and looked at my boyfriend nervously. I reached a hand up to wipe away my tears and quickly pressed myself against Ryan's broad chest, whimpering softly.

Thankfully, Ryan accepted me warmly, hugging me back as if I hadn't just been kissing Ben. Still, there was no doubting that he'd seen us, and after I got myself under control, I pulled my head up and looked into his blue eyes. "I'm sorry about that, babe. I'll explain on the way home."

Ryan nodded and held my cheeks, looking deep into my eyes. I filled them with all my love for him, reminding him that yes, I DID love him. And he wrapped his arms around me.

I'd tell him about running into Paige, and the state she was in. I'd tell him that I'd gotten upset and started crying. I'd tell him that Ben kissed me for comfort, nothing more. All of these things were true. And because Ryan loved me, I knew he'd believe me.

But I wouldn't tell him how much I loved Ben's kiss.

NOVEMBER 2003, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and DJ." I squeezed Ben's hand and patted his shoulder.

It was Monday morning and we were sitting on a bench by Memorial Glade, just outside the Main Library. After spending the weekend hiding out inside the house with Dayna, Brandi, and Adrienne, Ben had finally told me the story of his breakup with my little sister. I was disappointed he hadn't come to me sooner. After all, wasn't I his best friend? But now wasn't the time to be harsh on Ben. He was hurting enough as it was.

Ben sighed in resignation, seemingly at peace with what happened. He wasn't happy, but at least he wasn't moping about it. "It's okay," he said. "You were right though: It would have been weird if you ended up my sister-in-law."

"Still," I said sympathetically. "Breakups are never easy."

Ben leaned into my hand on his shoulder and chuckled. "Actually, I think your mom took it harder than I did."

I cracked up at that and looked off into the distance. "Yeah ... Mom still has it in her head that you're going to marry one of her daughters and give her grandkids that unite our two families." I grinned. "Guess Dayna's her last hope."

Ben snorted at that and arched an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

I laughed and nodded. "I never told you but Mom got really mad when I agreed to move in with Ryan. Don't get me wrong, she likes the guy. But he's not you. And I don't think she realized how serious I was with him until I moved in. And then she got really happy when you and DJ hooked up."

Ben chuckled. "I always wondered about that. She was a lot more ... permissive ... with me and DJ than she was with me and you."

I shrugged. "Well, you guys are older now. And Mom let us get away with a LOT of stuff when we were just 13 or 16 or whatever."

"Yeah, well, it's a moot point now. Maybe you can check in with DJ later and see how permissive your Mom is with DJ's next boyfriend."

I rubbed Ben's shoulder sympathetically and said, "Hey, there's still a chance that it'll be you."

Ben arched an eyebrow. "Ah, did you miss the part where I explained how we'd broken up?"

I shrugged. "I didn't say right away. But when DJ gets over you and decides she's ready to date again — which between you and me won't be until AFTER she gets her college acceptance letters — she may very well decide she wants another shot with you. The real you."

I sighed. "Maybe ... maybe not. DJ was right about one thing, I never really got to know her all that well. All I was thinking was 'DJ Evans: Dawn's hot little sister who's had a crush on me forever'. It's a very appealing concept to a guy."

"A more appealing concept than 'Dawn: Best Friend Forever who wants you back'?" I arched an eyebrow with a teasing smirk on my face.

Ben leveled his gaze at me, with an intensity that made my heart tighten. "Don't even fucking kid about that," he practically growled.

I blinked a few times and apologized, "Sorry, sorry." I put my head down, biting my lip. I wondered if I WAS kidding about that. I was committed to Ryan. But every now and again, yeah, I wanted Ben back.

We were both silent for a long while, and then Ben looked up at The Campanile to check the time. I looked up as well to find that we'd spent our whole break talking about this.

Standing up, Ben leaned back to me and offered his hand to help me up. "Come on. Let's get to class."

Exactly WHAT did Ben get up to at that Halloween party Adrienne took him to? A very pretty Filipina girl and two other freshman hotties were ALL over Ben before Microecon. They only scattered when Professor Ice showed up and glared at them. And they weren't even the first girls to come hit on him. Seemingly every day, there was at least one random girl stopping by to flirt. One, a tall, gorgeous strawberry-blonde girl with electric green eyes managed to get Ben's head turned so much that he would have walked into a bush if I didn't jerk him back.

I rolled my eyes. Just when I started to worry about Ben's mental state after a bad breakup, he always had his own way of recovering.

Neoclassical economics holds that when each individual maximizes their utility, the utility of society is also maximized. This requires that individuals' utilities can be summed (i.e. individual utilities are additive).

"How do you DO that?" I snorted and turned around in Ben's lap to look down at him, annoyance in my gaze.

Ben craned his head around my shoulder to look at the monitor and confirm that he'd typed that perfectly. Then he smirked up at me. "It's a gift."

"Yeah, well I think you have too many 'gifts'," I sighed and turned myself to the side so we could better talk to each other. I then kicked one leg over his head so that we were face-to-face, my feet resting on the floor on either side of the chair. "You can type without looking. You can recall every damn thing you read and ace your tests with ease. And you can eat all those fatty foods without gaining any weight. I hate you."

Rather than respond to my statements, sex-addled Ben lightly thrust his hips upwards, digging the front of his jeans into my crotch. "Yeah, and I can take a girl from zero to climax in under a minute," he bragged. "That's one 'gift' you haven't experienced in a long time."

"Stop that," I admonished, lightly slapping his cheek without any actual force. Ben hadn't given me that little gift in a LONG time, and the brief thought about it sent a tingle up my spine. I breathed deeply and fought away the momentary arousal.

"Sorry," Ben replied sincerely, realizing that what he'd done was not appropriate. "It's a good thing Ryan's not around to see that."

"Oh, he knows we won't do anything," I said dismissively, choosing not to think too much about it.

"Maybe," Ben pressed. "But speaking as a guy, there's always a niggling of doubt no matter how sure you are."

"Ffppt. My boyfriend is secure in who he is and in how much I love him," I declared, working to convince myself more than Ben. Ryan really DID trust me not to do anything. I'd kept my word this long and given him no significant reason to believe that would change.

"Besides, we all know that just getting laid isn't exactly a problem for you right now." I smirked and then reached down to tap the bulge in Ben's jeans.

Ben smirked right back, the shit-eating grin of a well-fucked young man. "True," he admitted.

"What's up with that, anyways?" I sighed, giving him a tired look. I wasn't trying to keep track, but as far as I could tell, Ben was spending every single day over at the Tri-Delt house. And from what hints Adrienne would tell me, they were with a different girl (or girls) almost every time.

"What's up with what?"

"You. Screwing around. I mean, I know you're horny, but you've never been quite this much of a slut before."

Ben frowned. "Slut?"

I giggled and patted Ben's shoulder condescendingly. "Yes, Ben; you're a slut. How many different girls have you slept with since you and DJ broke up?"

"How many? Uh..." Ben fidgeted, and I watched the gears turning as he struggled to add them up.

I giggled almost immediately. "Too many to count?"

"Hey, gimme a second," he protested.

"What, like a dozen? In a month?"

"No! Not that many."

"You sure?"

Ben bit his lip, once again trying to calculate the total. If it took him this long to even get started, then the count certainly had to be pretty high.

"Forget it. You already proved my point."

"What point?"

I shrugged. "You're a slut. Accept it. I'm not criticizing you for it. Just stating the fact."

"Okay fine. So?"

"You feel happier?"

"Yeah. Kinda." Ben's shit-eating grin was back. "Makes me think that maybe I'm better off not getting involved in a relationship with anybody. Why go through all the headaches and drama of a girlfriend? I'm getting laid. I've got time to focus on my schoolwork. And I've got more time to spend with you and the rest of the crew. Yeah. I'm happy."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Sometimes I feel like we're sharing the same brain. But then sometimes, I don't understand you at all."

He arched an eyebrow questioningly.

Sighing, I stood up and got ready to kick my leg over Ben's head to turn away. But the instant I lifted free of his legs, Ben wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back down into his lap.

"Oof," I huffed in surprise, and realized his bulge was against my crotch again. Ben stared at me, his eyes liquid and intense. Confused, I looked right back at him, wondering why he'd pulled me back down. And his hand edged further up my back while he pressed his chest against mine, hugging me firmly.

It felt like Ben was hugging me for a long, long time. Our eyes stayed locked together. And as great as this felt, I was a little weirded out by Ben's intensity. So softly, I asked, "Ben ... What are you doing?"

As if only now becoming aware of the situation, Ben blinked rapidly and released me abruptly. He rolled the chair back, separating us from the desk and with his hands on my hips, he helped me stand up. "Sorry," Ben mumbled. "I don't know what came over me."

I looked at him with a curious expression on my face. "It's okay. No harm done."

Ben turned and got out of the chair, gesturing for me to drop back into it. And without a backwards glance he headed to his bed.

I sat back down on the chair, but I didn't roll back up to the computer. I stared at Ben, wondering what was going through his mind. Even though his bulge had been pressed up against my crotch, his embrace didn't feel sexual. If anything, he just seemed to need ... a hug: a simple, affectionate, undemanding hug. All those girls ... all that sex ... but he still needed a plain, simple hug.

"What?" he asked, and I realized I was staring at him.

I bit my lip and then took a deep breath. Still contemplating that little revelation, I replied quietly, "Nothing." And then I turned and rolled back up to the keyboard.

We resumed our work. Ben looked into his textbook and I stared at the screen. And I worried whether or not my best friend was truly happy.

NOVEMBER 27, 2003, SOPHOMORE YEAR

Dayna, Brandi, Adrienne, Ben, and I all headed down to my family's house for Thanksgiving. And once we got there, it was amazing to see how much things had changed for all of us.

First, DJ had seemed to grow up quite a bit since I'd seen her last, which was only in August. It took me a second to realize she'd taken her hair out of the braids, and for the first time, I could see her being on-campus at Berkeley with us next year. She wasn't just a kid anymore. Hell, she was a half-inch taller than ME, with bigger boobs even.

Adrienne was single now, more concerned with the sorority and with her burgeoning modeling career than in finding another boyfriend OR girlfriend.

Ben was playing with his Tri-Delts and avoiding anything that seemed serious.

Brandi was talking to my mom about how her relationship with Matt was falling apart.

And Dayna cracked, "Seriously, who ever thought I'd be the one in the stable, committed relationship?"

We all got a chuckle out of that. And I thought about my own relationship with Ryan. We were as stable and as in love as ever. And yet, I couldn't help but feel that something was missing in my life.

Specifically, even though Ben and I seemed comfortable in our roles as best friends, there still seemed to be a disconnect between us. It wasn't that I thought we NEEDED to be romantically involved, but I did miss some of the intimate closeness we used to have when we were younger. It always felt like I was trying to hide my relationship with Ryan from Ben, so as not to hurt him. And I didn't like hiding ANYTHING from Ben.

It all came to a head that night. I was chatting with DJ, mostly about Ben, when the man himself arrived and joined in the conversation. We talked about his recent slutty behavior, and when he protested a lack of any need for real intimacy, I found myself getting rather pissed off. At the time, I didn't know why, but we got it worked out later that night.

I apologized for losing my temper. He accepted it when I explained that I realized I WAS a little jealous. I wasn't jealous that he was fucking other girls (not really), but I was jealous that he was spending so much time fucking around and not coming to me post-DJ. He was my best friend and yet, he wasn't opening up and sharing with me, even though I was trying to make myself available to him.

It wasn't that he was obligated to do so. But I felt like we were losing our old connection, our comfortable intimacy. For Ben not to automatically come and share meant that we weren't as close as I wanted us to be. And finally, I told him, "I want to change that, Ben."

"Change what?"

"I want to talk to you. I want to share with you," I said with heartfelt emotion. "I feel like we've drifted so far apart over this last year and a half."

"Last year and a half?" Ben arched an eyebrow. "Two years ago we were 500 miles apart. The last year and a half has been the first time we could really spend a lot of daily time together."

I grinned. "I'm not talking about time. I'm talking about being close to my best friend, being close to my Ben. We may not be a couple anymore, but I want to get back that feeling of intimacy with you. It doesn't have to be sexual intimacy. But that personal ... closeness ... Do you know what I mean?"

Ben smiled and nodded. For the past few weeks, he hadn't been close to anyone. He claimed he didn't need it, but now we both recognized that missing part of his life.

I continued. "I want to share what I'm going through with Ryan. I feel like he and I have reached this really important turning point in our relationship; something that will change the rest of my life. And I'd love to be able to share that with you, to talk it out with you."

Ben smiled and got off the chair, moving over to the bed and sitting sideways on the edge just in front of me. "And I want to share what I'm going through right now," he replied warmly. "I bluster a lot about being Mister Independent and living the ultimate male fantasy. But yeah, I'm still not sure what I'm doing. I want to be happy, not just get laid; and I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. It's still too soon for me to think about a relationship. I know I don't want to rebound and I'm not sure what I should be looking for in another girlfriend anyways. But I'd love to be able to share what I'm feeling with you."

NOW he got me. I broke into a delighted smile, feeling whole and complete for the first time in a long while. Was this it? Was this when Ben and I finally found a harmony with each other again? Maybe it wasn't sexual, but it was something special nonetheless.

With a little giggle, I raised a hand and touched Ben's cheek, brushing it with my fingertips gently. It felt like I was seeing him for the first time. "I missed you, Ben. I know we've been seeing each other almost every day, but I missed you. I missed the Ben I loved at summer camp."

"I missed you, too. I missed ... my Dawn," he said warmly, sending tingles up and down my spine.

"I'm right here, now," I said softly and leaned towards him. "You don't need to be Mister Independent. You've got me right by your side."

Ben took my hands in his and squeezed them gently. "And I'm right here, now. I'll always be here for you."

My smile got bigger and a happy tear rolled down my cheek. Impulsively, Ben darted forward and kissed the tear away, his lips lingering just an extra second against my skin.

I felt a flush of passion surge through me and my crotch started tingling. With just a peck on my cheek, Ben had gotten me from zero to scorching hot. And yet, it wasn't totally sexual. It felt... sensual. How did he have this effect on me?

Another tear rolled down my other cheek. Ben quickly darted around and kissed that one away as well. It felt so natural. I turned my face fractionally toward him. He brought his face in line with mine. And then moving forward, our lips met together.

It wasn't a kiss of passion. It wasn't a kiss of lust. It was just a kiss of love, the timeless love that had bonded Ben and I since we were first born. The touch of his lips filled me with a joy I hadn't felt in a while, and this time there was no Ryan to stop by and cause us to awkwardly split apart.

I pressed a little harder and felt Ben push in to match me. He tilted his head to the side and probed forward with his tongue. I parted my lips for him, for my Ben, and touched his tongue with my own. And as our kiss deepened I felt the waves of absolute bliss and contentment filling my soul.

This was my Ben.

This was the way things were meant to be.

But not yet.

I pulled back and quickly moved up to peck Ben's nose. I was crying again, but this time in full happiness. I KNEW it. I FELT it. Ben and I were BACK. It didn't mean I loved Ryan any less. My Ben existed outside of normal rules. I could love my boyfriend and share this eternal bond with Ben. He went above friendship and above family. He was simply unique.

Still, unique or not, Ryan would NOT be happy if I made love to Ben right now. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't let myself do that, because I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it from him. I giggled and said, "We should probably stop before this gets out of hand. I have a boyfriend, remember?"

Ben groaned and when I looked down, I saw that he was rock hard. My Ben was hard ... for me. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him. But he loved me enough not to push. So he backed up and nodded, saying simply, "I love you, my Dawn."

"I love you too, my Ben."

And then I looked past Ben's ear to see DJ leaning against the doorjamb. I smiled, knowing that even if I couldn't take care of Ben's erection, my little sister could. I was happy for both of them and jealous of neither. I loved them both.

Even if I couldn't get laid tonight, at least I knew Ben and I had found our specialness again.

DECEMBER 15, 2003, SOPHOMORE YEAR

Ben shrugged. "Jocelyn. Man that girl has a tight pussy. But that only came after all three girls swore not to publicly announce who was first. All three of them are going to Leighton today to take credit."

I felt a dampness between my legs as I pictured Ben amongst the three Tri-Delt pledges. I had to admit, I was a little jealous I couldn't be one of them. "So you fucked all three of them?"

Ben snorted. "Of course."

"Your first black girl?"

He nodded. "All girls are the same on the inside," Ben drawled with waggling eyebrows.

"And was Andie as big of a freak as you thought?" My breathing was getting shallow.

"Freakier." Ben chuckled and shook his head as if even HE couldn't believe what he'd done.

I then leaned in closer and rubbed my nose against his ear, panting lightly. "Make any of them pass out?"

Ben grinned. "All three of them," he intoned in a low, smug voice.

"Ohhh..." I moaned, her jaw quivering. Damn, I just had a little orgasm. I leaned against Ben, my legs a little shaky. "Fuck, I wish I was there to see it."

"I would have liked to have you there," Ben said quietly, holding me firmly against his side.

I looked up at the handsome devil, my eyes shining. "I think you'd like to 'have' me, period."

He blinked and stared right back. "You know I would."

I took a deep breath and sighed, exhaling very, very slowly as a way of letting out her sexual tension. I wanted him to have me. It wasn't that Ryan was leaving me lacking. Ryan was very good to me in bed. But a side-effect of opening up to Ben and having us share everything with each other was that he told me about quite a few of his sexual exploits. It was almost like watching porn, quite the turn- on to hear about and fantasize that I was in the middle of one of his orgies. And it was especially arousing because I could REMEMBER being in the middle of one of his orgies. Whatever emotional hang-ups my Ben had, he certainly knew how to make a girl feel damn good.

But I shook away the feelings. Besides, my mini-orgasm had taken the edge off. And when I'd calmed down, I merely went up on my tiptoes and pecked Ben lightly on the lips, then looked back down and resumed walking.

"Come on," I said. "I want to get to Professor Ice before her office hours get too crowded."

DECEMBER 18, 2003, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"You did what?" I scowled at my boyfriend.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you before Ben told you himself," Ryan sighed. "I didn't want to get into a fight about it."

"Well you're gonna BE in a fight if you don't explain 'I confronted Ben and asked him to back off you a bit'," I screeched.

Ryan sighed. "Look, I'm SORRY. I can't help it. I don't LIKE it when you two are all over each other. He turns you on, Dawn. I know what you look like when you're aroused."

"But we'll never DO anything!"

"How do I know that?"

"We've never DONE anything!" I protested.

"So far," Ryan growled. "Freshman year was one thing. He was with Adrienne and Paige the whole time. But he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore."

"He's got the Tri-Delts. Getting laid is NOT one of Ben's problems."

"Still..." Ryan huffed. "Things are ... different ... between you two. Ever since Thanksgiving, you've been closer. You've been more affectionate. You two are touching each other all the freaking time and I'm NOT the only one to notice!"

"We're just FRIENDS, Ryan."

"Fine. Tell me this: If you had the chance to sleep with him without consequence, would you?"

"WHAT?"

"I'm serious!" Ryan thundered, his face red. "What would happen? Would you fuck him if you could?"

"Ryan!"

"I mean it! Dawn ... Dawn ... I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I love you. I LOVE you. But I just ... I just don't know what would happen if you did."

"So what, you're telling me you WANT me to sleep with him?" I looked agog at my boyfriend.

"YES! I mean NO! I ... I ... I don't know!" he crumbled and buried his head in his hands, squeezing as if he could pry his brain out and throw it away so he wouldn't have to think about this anymore.

"Ryan, please, babe." I was quickly hugging my boyfriend. I wrapped my arms around him and stroked him soothingly. "I love you. I CHOSE you. Please know that I would NEVER cheat on you."

He breathed shallowly for what felt like ten minutes. And in the end, he simply reached his hand up to hold my wrist while he turned red-rimmed eyes around to me. I pulled back in surprise. In the whole time I'd known him, I'd NEVER seen Ryan cry. Not once.

"It'll never happen, Ryan. I promise you," I told him reassuringly. "Never happen."

He seemed to calm with my words, and I continued stroking his back and arms gently. But there was a tension in my own hands now.

If the opportunity came to fuck Ben, just once, without consequence, hell YES I would go for it.

DECEMBER 19, 2003, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"So who's it gonna be tonight?"

"Hmm?" Ben looked up from the bottles in front of himself. It was the Friday night after the end of finals, and as usual, the house was about to become party central. Ben and I were setting up the temporary bar and getting everything organized.

I nudged him with my hip. "You know. Who's gonna be the lucky girl ... or girls ... that are going to share your bed on the last night of the semester? I was talking guest list with Dayna and it seems like every girl you're sleeping with is gonna be here. So which ones?"

Secretly, I hoped he'd answer 'You, Dawn'. But I knew he wouldn't say that, and sure enough, he drawled, "How the hell should I know? If it's really up to me, I'll grab a blue pill from Adrienne and bring 'em ALL into my bedroom."

I smirked at him and on impulse, reached forward and tousled Ben's hair. He smiled happily, but a second later darted his gaze to my right, where Ryan was helping Kevin Weiss move the furniture back in preparation for tonight's End of the Year party.

Ben warded my hand away.

I sighed and said, "This is ridiculous, Ben. I'm not going to start second-guessing myself every time I want to reach out and touch you."

"I don't like it either, but I don't want to piss off your boyfriend."

"He's a big boy. He can handle it. He's BEEN handling it."

Ben sighed. "Every man has his limits. And I'm sure he's been particularly stressed this last semester. You said his grades weren't what he'd hoped."

"He's working hard, but this stuff just doesn't come as naturally to him as us. It's why he ended up at Junior College first. But he's still going to graduate on time and as long as he gets his diploma, he'll be able to get a job."

"I dunno. Now's not exactly a good time to go into the Telecom industry. Especially around here."

"He'll be fine," I said stubbornly. "But you're right. It's just a momentary thing. Come next semester I'm sure everything'll go back to normal."

"I hope," Ben said, sliding his hand across the countertop to cover mine. He interlaced his fingers over mine and squeezed gently. "It's only been a day and I already miss these little touches."

A pleasant little tingle shot up my arm from where he was touching me. I squeezed back and set the last bottle with my other hand. "I know. Me, too." Then I stepped behind Ben to exit the enclosed temporary bar. But on the way, I stopped and checked to see if my boyfriend was looking in our direction. And when I was sure the coast was clear, I leaned down to the back of Ben's neck and kissed it tenderly.

"Promise you'll find me tonight, Ben," I whispered into his ear. "At least hold me in your arms for one dance so I can fantasize about you for a little while."

Ryan held me in his arms. We'd been dancing together, my big, strong boyfriend holding me close during the slow songs and not letting go of me during the fast ones. He looked down at me in adoration, his crystal clear blue eyes penetrating deep into my heart.

I like adoration. Adoration is a good thing. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Ryan was good at that. He always made me feel safe and loved. Day in, day out, I could always count on him to be totally devoted to me. He was patient whenever I got into a hysterical mood. He listened as well as Ben, if not more. Okay, so he wasn't so great about opening up and telling me HIS thoughts and feelings — he WAS a pretty conditioned macho man — but he treated me like a lady, with respect and politeness. And despite his supposed machismo, he never once tried to take the upper hand in our relationship. It was as if he knew he was under my spell and at my mercy. Even that bit of control over the relationship was kinda nice.

He was there for me every single day. Yeah, I had my momentary little fantasies about hooking up with Ben, being swept away for a few blissful moments of passion. But Ryan was pretty close to the perfect boyfriend.

I left my perfect boyfriend to head to the bathroom. Drinking does that to a person. On the way out, I waved to Ryan who was standing in the living room, waiting for me. And I saw Gwen nearby, dancing with a pretty cute guy.

I had no warning. One moment, I was passing by Gwen making a teasing comment about the guy she was dancing with. The next, an arm was around my waist and I felt myself quite literally being dragged off my feet.

"Ben!" I squeaked when I realized who'd grabbed me. He slammed and locked the door before throwing me across his bed. I flopped onto my back with my legs in the air. And before I realized what was happening, Ben had broken my thong panties and ripped them off me, leaving my naked pussy on display.

Shouts and the sounds of a doorknob being twisted were accompanied by banging on the door. Ryan's voice yelled and a louder banging followed, the hinges straining as I think he rammed his shoulder into the door as well.

"BEN!" I screamed and slapped his cheek.

His head rotated from the vicious slap. And his eyes went wide with recognition before he rolled away and sat up on the edge of the mattress, his heels perched on the bed frame while he buried his face in his hands. "Oh, SHIT!" he gasped in shock.

But I wasn't paying attention to him anymore. I raced to the bedroom door, tore open the lock, and flung the door open. Ryan was panting in the doorway with Adrienne right behind him. "Did he hurt you?" Ryan roared.

Before Ryan could rush into the room, I squawked, "No! I'm fine! I'm fine!" As casually as I could, I ran my right hand through my hair and smoothened out the hem of my dress with my left, making sure it was low enough to cover my naked crotch. "I didn't realize we'd locked the door. It's okay. Nothing's happening. Ben's just really upset right now and he needed to talk to me."

"About what?" Ryan barked, seething through clenched teeth.

"Paige just left with some random guy," Adrienne put in quickly. "Ben had pulled her into his room, no doubt to try and talk some sense into her. You've seen her lately, Ry; the girl's pretty fucked up right now. I guess Ben didn't get through to her and as you can see, he's pretty shaken." Adrienne was gesturing to Ben now, where he was almost shivering and staring wild-eyed.

I sighed and looked back at Ben with concern.

"I thought..." Ryan began. "I thought..."

I shook my head, my mind racing. "No. Nothing like that." I injected all the calm I could muster into my voice, as if I was on top of things and knew exactly what I was doing, even though I didn't. "Look, I still need to talk to him. He's my best friend and he's hurting right now. But if it'll make you feel better, we'll leave the door wide open, okay? It's loud enough out there that I think we'll still have enough privacy. You can look in whenever you want, okay?"

Ryan scowled and didn't look too happy, but with the door open he didn't really have anything to complain about. He exhaled slowly and then nodded. "Fine, fine." Then he pointed at the door. "Just don't ever do... this ... to me again."

I sighed and shook my head. "Ryan, if we were going to sleep together, we've had a zillion opportunities already. It's not going to happen. ReLAX."

I held my breath then, wondering if the whole charade had worked. I knew DAMN well it wasn't as simple as a misunderstanding. Something had triggered Ben. And there was something beneath the surface such that he'd gone after ME, even with Gwen right next to me.

Fortunately, Ryan bought it. He pouted unhappily, but in the end he simply hugged me and gave me a firm kiss. And when he released me, I very deliberately went and opened Ben's bedroom door completely wide open.

Adrienne then hooked her arm through Ryan's elbow and guided the big guy back into the party. The sound of girls whooping from outside soon filled the air. And then I turned back to Ben, exhaling slowly in relief.

That was fucking CLOSE.

On the way back to Ben, I spied the baby blue wad on the floor that was my thong. I glanced back at the doorway to make sure no one was looking, then squatted and used my body to block the view while snatching up my torn panties. I quickly walked over to Ben's dresser and dropped the panties into the top drawer. Sighing with relief, I turned and glared at Ben. "I hope to HELL he didn't see THOSE."

Ben just winced and looked down between his feet. He looked almost as bad as last semester, when Adrienne and Paige had both broken up with him and I'd been so upset that I walked away from him.

Feeling sorry for him, I moved to join him on top of the bed, sitting upright with my legs folded beneath me and to the right, so that my dress covered my naked crotch and upper thighs. I then reached over and touched his shoulder. "Ben? Are you okay?"

He grimaced and looked forlornly back at me. "Clearly not. I just tried to * you."

"No you didn't." I shook my head.

"You had to slap me to get me to stop."

I bit my lip. "Well, there was that. But you weren't forcing me. You weren't holding my wrists down or anything like that. You were just ... getting ready to fuck me."

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered pitifully.

"Shh ... It's okay," I soothed while stroking his head. The simple fact was: Ben could never * me. You can't * someone who wants it to happen. And if Ben ever wanted just to take me, I knew deep down that I wouldn't resist him. I sighed and said, "I've seen how you can get. It's not like this is the first time you've just sorta ... snapped."

He squeezed his eyes shut and hunched back over.

Dawn sighed and kept rubbing my shoulder. "Was Adrienne right? Were you just in here with Paige?"

He moaned and nodded, a mournful tone in his voice.

We talked for a couple of minutes about her. I reminded Ben that Paige wasn't his responsibility and that we all left for Winter Break tomorrow. There was nothing he could do.

But the simple fact was that he truly WANTED to do something. For whatever reason, he cared about the little shit. Yeah, she used to adore him and worship him and I knew she fed his White Knight complex, but when it boiled down to it, everything she wanted was for her benefit and not his. I couldn't understand why he couldn't see that, but he still cared. And he physically ached inside to see Paige in her current state.

I thought about things for a long while before making my decision. I wouldn't like it, but I would do it. Why? Because this was Ben. "Okay," I began. "Here's the plan. We're just going to get through tomorrow. It's your last night and there're a couple dozen girls out there who want to show you a good time. Just enjoy this and forget about Paige for one night. Then you'll go home and live your life. And when we come back to school, I promise I'll do whatever I can to help you make things right."

He sat up straight and looked at me in surprise. "Really?"

I smiled and nodded. "Really."

"I must say I'm surprised. You've always said she was just a little bitch asking for trouble and not worth my time."

I shrugged. "Maybe she still is. But what matters is that you're not happy. And I HATE seeing you not happy. This isn't about getting you laid or some romantic complication. This is just something else causing you grief and if I can help, I will. That's what best friends do."

Ben smiled at me with hope, enough energy to make ME feel really good inside. "You mean it?"

I smiled right back and nodded. And then he quickly leaned forward and wrapped me up in a big hug. "Thank you, Dawn. Thank you."

"Always, my Ben," I said softly. Anything for you, I thought. ANYTHING. Because I'll always love you.

Ben and I finally emerged, just in time for a sweet slow dance. The party had been running full tilt for a couple of hours, and everyone seemed to need the momentary break from the loud noise and screaming. Quickly, couples paired off and started undulating to the music like long grass in the wind. And smiling, my handsome best friend held his arms open to me.

Ben held me close, letting me rest my cheek against his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around my waist. I could tell he was consciously keeping his hands north of the equator in case Ryan was watching. Together, we swayed back and forth, remembering the old days when holding each other so intimately was a commonplace event.

One song gave way to two. But midway through the second, Ben stopped abruptly. I turned to see my boyfriend standing beside us.

"Mind if I cut in?" Ryan asked neutrally, his face guarded. Ben simply nodded and handed me off, letting our fingers linger for just a second longer than necessary.

Almost instantaneously, Adrienne slid up and wrapped herself around Ben. And with a happy smile from each of us, we finished out the rest of the dance with our more "usual" partners.

But as soon as it was over, Ryan pulled me away to sit down and talk. I thought of going to borrow Adrienne's bedroom or something if he wanted someplace private, but Robin intercepted us part way, with Gwen in tow.

"Dawn! Dawn!" Robin said excitedly as she ran up. The pretty brunette pushed her glasses up her nose and squirmed as if she couldn't stand still. She was clearly quite drunk, and her eyes roved quite obviously up and down Ryan's spectacular body. He was wearing a rugby-striped polo that clung to his V- shaped torso, showing off his muscles, and if I didn't know any better I'd have thought the girl was going to proposition him right then and there.

I wasn't very far from the truth. Robin glanced at Gwen and then returned back to me with an impish grin. "Remember that game we found on Telegraph?" she asked me with more than a hint of naughtiness.

I arched an eyebrow and looked at her funny for a few seconds before it hit me. The swinging game. "You're not serious!" I stammered.

Gwen nodded, a gleam in her eyes. "Like a heart attack."

"Robin!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, come onnn," the young brunette moaned. "This is the last night of the year. I'm drunk and I'm horny and what better night to try this? I'm game. Bert's game. Gwen's game. It's really just up to you guys and Ben. Mmm ... Bennn..." Robin purred as if she'd just moaned the word 'chocolate... '

I glanced at Ryan for a moment, my boyfriend giving me a look of utter and complete cluelessness as to what we were talking about it. I measured him and looked back at Robin. He had his fantasies, but we'd talked about this since Dayna's Blindfold Party over a year ago: Only him. Only me. Monogamous and happy about it. I shook my head and answered with conviction, "No way in hell."

"Why don't you ASK him?" Gwen waggled her eyebrows, eyeing my boyfriend like a piece of meat.

"Ask me what?" Ryan queried.

I squeezed my man's hand and looked at him. "It's nothing. It's a crazy game that Robin found but I already know you wouldn't-"

"It's a Swingers game!" Robin interrupted me cheerily. "You put together a few couples. You draw cards that tell you actions you have to do. And every now and again ... you switch partners!" Her eyes danced behind the glasses.

Ryan jerked his head back in surprise. I was already patting his arm, saying, "Like I was saying, babe, I already know you wouldn't want to-"

"Okay," Ryan interrupted me, nodding firmly at Robin. "Let's do it."

"YES!" Robin cheered. "Oh, let's all go to your guys' apartment!"

My jaw dropped and I gawked at my boyfriend. "Are you serious?"

"This game goes all the way, Ry," Gwen put in, both in warning and in invitation. She was excited and already thinking about fucking him.

"Fine. Let's do it," he said seriously. "Don't you want to do it, Dawn?"

My jaw flapped open and closed a couple of times like a fish out of water. I was so utterly and completely shocked that Ryan would want to do this that I had absolutely no idea what to even think.

He pulled me aside, just a few feet away from the girls and held my cheeks in his hands. "Look, I'm not stupid. I know you're loyal and I know you love me. But I know for a fact that Ben still gets your motor running, okay? I told you before I always wondered what would happen if you two finally did it again. Well, I'm giving you permission. I WANT you to do this. And don't even try to lie to me and say YOU don't want this."

My mouth just flapped open and shut a few more times. Seriously? Ryan wanted me to fuck Ben? My eyes were wide and I took a deep breath. He already saw it in my eyes. Yeah, I wanted to fuck Ben. I wanted to feel him thrusting into my body, giving me that pleasure I'd never felt with anyone else, not even Ryan. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my boyfriend. He was with me night and day, always attentive, always caring. I loved being loved. And I loved Ryan for it.

But no one had ever made me feel quite like Ben.

"Ryan," I stammered. "I would never want to hurt you-"

"That's not the point," he interrupted me. "Please, Dawn. I need this." He sighed. "Let me put it to you this way. I love you and you KNOW I would never cheat on you. But ... well, I'm a guy, alright? Yeah, I think Gwen is alluring and hot and I have my fantasies about her. I think Robin is very pretty and she has that sexy librarian thing DOWN and sometimes I want to just bend her over and ungh- ungh, you know?"

I arched an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "Robin's right. One night. Let's cut loose, okay? If it happens, it happens. And whatever happens, I'm okay with it."

"But this is Ben," I stated flatly, as if Ryan had forgotten.

Ryan's eyes hardened. "I know. And this is your shot. I want you to be happy Dawn. And at least for one night, I'm giving you permission. Don't tell me you don't want to."

I blushed and looked down. "I do," I answered quietly.

"Okay then. You go tell Robin. I'll talk to Ben."

Both my eyebrows popped up in surprise. "You will?"

He nodded. "I need to tell him myself." And then he turned and walked back into the crowd.

FINALLY. I knew Ben had been completely surprised when he realized what kind of game we were playing. Ryan had been so nervous he must have completely bungled the explanation, but the important thing was that we were here, now. And Ben was in the game.

Still, I couldn't BELIEVE it fucking took until Level Three to pair me up with him. Not that I minded making out with Ryan. And Bert was so adorably enraptured by my beauty. He was a good-looking guy himself, if a little shy and nervous around hot chicks. And it was a very nice compliment to have him turn into such malleable putty in my hands.

But the wait was worth it. My heart was racing as Ben's fingers went to my cheek. My hands went to his jaw and around the backs of his ears. And then the universe exploded as our lips found each other. Sparkles went off behind my eyes. My stomach flipped and then flipped a few more times. This was kissing. This was my BEN.

This was where my world made sense.

I didn't even try to grab at Ben's body. He was buck naked and I didn't need to grope him or take his throbbingly hard erection into my hands. I knew it was there. I knew I could have it. But this moment was about our kiss. The feel of our lips against each other, feeling the simple sense of... rightness ... in this intimate touch, was all we really needed. Ben was my soulmate. The kiss was just our reminder.

Things got a little more fun when a card ordered anyone who wasn't already buck naked to get stripped naked by their partner. Ben gleefully pulled away my bra and then suckled on my tits for a few seconds. I giggled and smacked his head playfully, telling him that wasn't in the rules. But then again, Gwen wasn't preventing Bert from doing the same thing. Robin was actually PULLING Ryan's head to her chest.

And then he pulled off my thong panties, soaked completely through with my arousal. Seeing them reminded me of the torn baby blue ones in Ben's dresser drawer. I wondered how I'd ever get them back. A part of me hoped he might keep them somewhere to cherish for all time.

But right now, I eagerly awaited the next card. Maybe they would tell me to bend over and inhale Ben's beautiful cock into my mouth. It certainly was 'beautiful'. Even Dayna had said so, a long time ago.

But then the fourth card landed. Everyone had to switch partners.

FUCK.

And adding insult to injury, the fifth card read: Orally pleasure your partner for five minutes.

DOUBLE FUCK.

"No more timers in Level Four. The card ends when you say it ends," Robin announced and then excitedly looked at Ryan.

The guy shuffled the Level Four cards and then patted them into a neat stack. Everyone tensed as Ryan grabbed up the top card and turned it over, saying in slightly shaky voice, "Fuck your partner right in front of everyone."

[SLAM!]

[THUMP!]

"Oof!"

I glanced over to see that Ben was flat on his back on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. Robin was straddling his stomach with her hands around his head as she frantically slammed her lips against his, huffing and puffing with urgent need. Finally she managed to squeak, "Please?"

Ben being Ben, he simply shifted them into position, let Robin put him in place, and then sank his brunette friend down around his prick. Ben's first fuck of the night, and it wasn't with me.

There was time.

I could tell that Bert was overeager. We'd been playing the game for over an hour and I was soaking wet. I was hot and horny and in no mood to put up with an overeager boy rabbit-fucking me. I needed cock in me, BADLY, but I needed to be fucked RIGHT. So I took charge by mounting his lap. I pressed my tits to Bert's face while his eyes simply went WIDE open. But before I actually impaled myself on him, I grabbed his head and looked into his eyes. "Hi, Bert."

"D- Dawn..." he moaned a little nervously.

"We're just friends, right? We can handle this, right?"

His eyes were still wide as he nodded hurriedly. "Of course."

I knew Bert, like any boy with a pussy hovering over his dick, would say anything to get inside. But I at least had to ask, "We're not gonna be weird with each other after this, are we?"

To his credit, Bert took a deep breath and looked at me seriously. His eyes weren't so wide and for a few seconds, his sense of honor won out over his shock. "Dawn, we'll be cool. Just friends."

I smiled wolfishly. That was all I needed. And then holding his dick in my hand, I spread my thighs and sat down, taking him all the way inside me.

"Holy SHIT!" Bert squeaked in disbelief. His eyes were back to being big and wide and full of adoration. I liked that. I liked a man worshipping me as if I were a goddess descended from on high. Ben always looked at me like that. Even after years and years of knowing each other, he stared at me as if I were the radiant sun that was a requirement for his day to exist.

And from a purely physical standpoint, Bert had a pretty nice dick, too. It was of a decent size, a little over six inches I figured from our previous playing. It wasn't Big Ben or even Ryan's turgid rod; but I wasn't a size queen and for such an enthralled and overwhelmed guy, Bert still knew how to use it pretty well. He didn't just sit there and let me do all the work. He used the springiness of the couch cushions to thrust himself up and into me. He licked my tits and suckled my nipples eagerly. And he even made a conscious effort to read my cues and learn from them. With some training, Bert could be a VERY good lover.

But he wasn't Ben. I was still fantasizing of that time.

In fact, if I closed my eyes and imagined that I was straddling my Ben, pushing my big tits into his face, feeling his thick manhood splitting my pussy, hearing his urgent grunting "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!", then I could almost ... I could just feel...

"Ohhh, unnngghhh!" I moaned, fantasizing about fucking Ben, MY Ben. I was bouncing up and down the cock inside me rapidly. I was absolutely smothering my man's face in my cleavage. And I gripped the back of the couch as leverage for my spastic lunges. So close. So close. Oh, Ben! Can you feel me? Can you feel how hot I am for you? Can you feel how much I want you? Yes! Yes! I'm cumming. And then I moaned out loud, "I'm cumming!"

"Mmphh!!!" Bert mumbled beneath me. I knew it was Bert, but that was fine. I was getting what I needed, and Bert was a good enough friend for me to feel happy about this. I wouldn't regret fucking him.

And there it was. My pussy muscles were spasming in orgasm when I felt the jets of spunk splashing against my insides. Even though Bert had already cum once tonight, he still had a pretty healthy load to give me. I figured it was because he was so revved up, knowing that he was fucking ME. And with that compliment, I groaned and rode out the rest of my orgasm as well.

And then I heard Robin squeal, "Oh, FUUUCK!"

"Urrgh-NOW!" Ben grunted immediately after.

"OH, FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!" Robin howled, even louder than before. I craned my head around to watch Ben pound Robin right into the floor, his hips thrust all the way forward between the pretty brunette's open thighs and her back arching up and off the floor.

And then, just like I'd a LOT of girls seemed to do with Ben, Robin passed out.

Chuckling to myself, I lifted off of Bert's deflating cock and flopped over to sit down next to him. I saw that Gwen had pulled Ben's face to hers for a steamingly hot kiss. And I realized that despite having just cum, I was hornier than ever.

Robin had gotten to feel Ben fucking her and passed out from overwhelming pleasure. Gwen was carving out the insides of his mouth with her tongue.

I wanted to be next. And I'm sure my eyes communicated that unbridled lust quite clearly when he finally turned around to look at me.

Soon, my Ben. Soon..