Every familiar character belongs to Janet.
"Keep your shirts on," Steph ordered everyone, when we reached the beach. "And I mean that literally. I'm pretty sure people will be able to bounce back from the adorableness that is Olive, but we'll need defibrillators if you expose too much muscle to unprepared women ... and probably a few men, too."
"Babe."
"Don't Babe me. Of course I think Bobby and Cal are cute and special, but they don't affect my hormones that way. That being said ... I've always been able to sense trouble before it strikes, and those bodies - especially yours Batman - will attract more attention than a dedicated stalker's. Olive and I don't want to have to spend our beach day defending your honors, so please keep your shirts on so we can relax our guard and just enjoy our time together."
"Is she serious?" Bobby asked me.
"Yes, she is," she said, fielding the question for me. "Today is supposed to be about Olivia seeing the ocean, not you providing visual-orgasms for anyone standing on the beach watching you guys walk around 'defending' us."
Cal looked at us, clearly uncomfortable. "This conversation doesn't involve me."
"It sure as hell does," Steph told him. "Women love tattoos, especially when they're on really good guys ... so you're not at all exempt from this. In fact, I'm going to be watching out for you even more closely because you're obviously hurting and every woman is going to want to help you feel better. Luckily, Olive loves spending time with Daddy so I can run interference anytime I need to."
Two sets of RangeMen eyes turned my way now, as I spread a blanket out under the blue and white-striped, upside-down V tent I set up that will offer some shade and a lot of UV protection for the ladies.
"Take it as the compliment it is and do what she says," was my response, as I answered my daughter's double-handed "gimme" gesture and took her from Stephanie.
I got a smile from my wife for backing her up. "See? Was that so hard? Guys like you are rare, and it's not fair to flaunt what they can't have."
"What if they can have it for a night?" Brown unwisely asked.
"Absolutely not," she told him. "You guys are worth more, and deserve more, than a few hours of fun. Don't worry about it, I'll just have a word with anyone you're interested in and the problem will take care of itself. And keep this in mind, unless you're as good at handling 'happy surprises' as Ranger and I are, you really want to be careful who you 'hang out' with. For an image-backup, picture Joyce as someone's Baby Mama and being stuck dealing with her for at least eighteen years."
We all shuddered at that one. No child or man of mine should have to endure that.
"I rest my case," Steph continued. "And I'm saying it's closed, too."
Brown sent a desperate glance over at me. "How about a little help here?" He asked.
"No. She's made a few valid and valuable points. So save the sweet-talk for someone who deserves it and who'll appreciate it and you in the long run."
"It worked for me," she said, giving our baby and I each a kiss.
She then wanted Olivia back so they could test out the water, and I can't deny her anymore than I can myself. After they reached the ocean, I shrugged out of the unbuttoned dress shirt I'd thrown on over the mid-length, all-black swim trunks. My wife can have one of those visual-orgasms she mentioned ... or she can turn jealously-protective, she's sexy as hell either way. And holding the daughter we made together had her in danger of experiencing the same responses from me.
