I've rewritten this chapter so many times over the last few months because I needed it to be just right, and I finally feel like I've achieved that. It ended up being double the length I was expecting, but that's probably fine.

I hope you don't mind the wait too much.

Enjoy!

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Word count: 4640

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"Are you a werewolf?"

Tears sprung in his eyes and started rolling down his cheeks before he could stop them. This was it. Now, Sirius would break up with him, he would be kicked out of Hogwarts, the Ministry would come and lock him up and—

"Re? Remus?"

Remus pushed Sirius' arms away. He didn't want to hear it. Couldn't bear to hear it.

"N-no. I'm not. I'm not a…"

He was getting light-headed from breathing so quickly, yet somehow, it felt like he wasn't breathing at all. Remus was vaguely aware that Sirius was speaking to him, but it was as if he was speaking an ancient language.

Remus took a sudden sharp breath; something cold had been pushed into his mouth.

He took a few more deep breaths. Remus was now aware of Sirius' warm hand on his shoulder and his mouth, breathing steadily into his ear. A few more minutes passed, and Remus slowly began matching Sirius' breathing pattern.

Sirius offered another ice cube, and Remus took it, before beginning to do the tricks to calm and ground him.

Six ice cubes later, Remus was sniffling quietly.

He slowly glanced at Sirius. "I promise, I'm not a—" His throat closed.

"Okay," Sirius said softly. He put down the glass with ice cubes, and sat on the bed, then took Remus' hand in his. "If you say you're not a werewolf, then I believe you."

"I'm not," Remus repeated.

"I believe you."

But the promise meant nothing. If Sirius already suspected it, then how was Remus supposed to explain why his disappearances always fell on the full moon? He would just have to leave Hogwarts before the next one and find a good excuse why. Maybe he could get himself expelled? He didn't want to be. Didn't want to leave Sirius and all his friends.

"Hypothetically," Sirius said suddenly, snapping Remus from his train of thought. He squeezed Remus' hand tighter and bit his lip. "Hypothetically, if you were a werewolf, I'd be okay with it."

Remus couldn't move. He didn't dare move, fearing the moment would disappear if he did. This had to be a dream, or maybe he had misheard? But Sirius continued.

"If you were a werewolf, again, hypothetically, then I wouldn't tell anyone. I would keep it a secret between us, and I would keep caring for you, just as I always have." He paused, glancing sideways at Remus. "If you are one, that is."

Remus slowly gathered the courage to look at Sirius, who was smiling carefully back at him.

Tears welled up in his eyes, and he forcefully pushed Sirius' hand away before laying back down, and harshly pulling the blanket over his head. This wasn't funny. It wasn't fair that Sirius was toying with him like this. That he decided to pull one last twisted prank before contacting the Ministry. Maybe they were already outside the door. They would let him do this, because of his name. Being a Black was like a free pass to do whatever you wanted.

Sirius put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "Re—"

"Go away!" His voice was thick.

Sirius removed his hand but didn't walk away. "Why?"

As with a switch, a flame of rage ignited in his chest. Why? He had to be kidding. Remus couldn't help himself. He threw the blanket away. Sirius involuntarily took a step back. "Because this isn't fucking funny."

His throat was already burning from howling all night, but it didn't stop him from screaming. "You have no idea how much you mean to me, and it's insanely unfair you think it's okay to lie to me about that for your own amusement!"

Remus suddenly found himself standing. He stumbled, and Sirius reached out to help, but Remus pushed his hand away again. He fell onto the bed and bit back a scream of agony.

Sirius shifted the weight between his feet, he almost took a step forward but thought better of it. "Re, this is not a prank."

Why couldn't he just let this go? Remus pulled his knees up to his chest. "Just go away, please."

But Sirius stood still. "If you really want to be alone, then I'll go away. But if it's because you think I don't like you anymore, then I won't."

Remus held himself tighter, and tears welled up in his eyes again. He wished this day had never happened. None of it would have happened if they had never become friends. Maybe he was destined to be a lone wolf forever.

Ever so slowly, Sirius stepped forward and kneeled down in front of Remus. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that; I just couldn't bear the thought of you going through this alone." His voice had never sounded quite like that. So careful. "Just know that I'm here if you need it. And I won't tell anyone if you're a werewolf."

Remus really, really wanted to believe him.

"I…" But the words caught in his mouth. "I'm really tired."

Sirius just stared at him, and Remus began to think he hadn't heard him, but then Sirius nodded determinedly. He carefully helped Remus lay back down and tugged the blanket around him.

"Can I lay next to you, or do you need space?"

"Please stay." Remus could barely get the words out, but it was enough.

.:lll:.

Remus woke slowly. A warm body was pressed against his and fingers were lightly tracking the freckles on his face. He breathed deeply and opened his eyes, but Sirius didn't stop.

"Morning, beautiful," he whispered.

A faint red painted Remus' cheeks. "What time is it?"

Sirius hummed. "Like one pm, I think."

"You should be in Potions right now." Remus had half a mind to push Sirius out of the bed but was snapped out of it when he started giggling.

"Re, I have skipped class for less important things than you." Sirius ran his hands through Remus's hair' no doubt to distract him, but he didn't budge.

"What about James and Peter? They'll wonder where you went."

"I told them you asked me to go visit your mum with you."

"Oh."

All air left Remus' body. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, and immediately the room began spinning around him. All the events from that morning came rushing back all at once. Sirius knew. He fought back the urge to throw up.

"Hey." Sirius was up in an instant, with a hand on Remus' shoulder. The shakiness in his voice broke the calm façade. Remus shook his head causing Sirius to drop his arm and scoot a bit further away. "You okay?"

He nodded, then shook his head. Why did it have to be so complicated? His mouth suddenly felt dry. "Do you…" Remus wiped his hands on the bed, slowly to stall as much as possible. He stared fiercely at the pattern on the blanket. "Do you regret what you said earlier?"

There wasn't even a moment of hesitation. "Of course not!" Sirius shifted on the bed to reach out but stopped himself at the last moment. Remus silently thanked him, because he didn't think he could handle being touched right now. "This won't change anything."

"But it changes everything. I'm a…" the words got stuck in his throat. Remus wasn't even sure if he had ever said it out loud. "I'm a… You don't know what it's like. What I'm like after a full moon." He thought back to earlier that day, just after the moon had set. Remus had been scratching himself up so badly, that he hadn't been able to move and had to just shiver on the cold floor until Madam Pomfrey arrived while swaying in and out of consciousness. "It's not great, and if you're sure about us, then you're the one who has to take care of me when we graduate and move in together."

The silence stretched between them. Finally, Remus turned around and found Sirius staring at him, with a soft smile on his lips and a daze in his eyes. "You want to move in with me?"

Remus' face quickly grew hot. "I, no, yes. Yes, I mean—"

"Re…"

That did it. Remus had never been able to resist that voice. He carefully backed up and rested against the headboard next to Sirius. Their sides were touching and their fingers brushing against each other. Sirius pulled the blanket over them. Remus, in an act of bravery, took Sirius' hand in his. A few moments of silence passed before Sirius spoke again.

"I see your point." He squeezed a bit tighter. "It does change some things, and it's something I'll have to get used to, but I want to get used to it. Whatever you need Remus, I'll work as hard as I can to help you. With big things like taking care of you after full moons, or small things like talking about being a werewolf."

His heart skipped a beat.

This was everything he had ever wanted. Sirius was giving him the opportunity to have someone who cared for him, and not only tolerated his lycanthropy because they had to but accepted that it was a part of him and always would be. Someone who he could truly share everything with; where he didn't feel the need to hide parts of himself.

And it was right there. Sirius was right there. So why were the words stuck in his throat? Everything he had ever wanted was right in front of him, so why was it so difficult to get it out?

Remus sank. The words strangled him, all wanting to come out at once, but none of them did. He grasped Sirius' hand as tight as his frail hands would let him and willed the words out. "It's difficult to talk about."

"That's okay." Sirius kissed his forehead gently. "Just when you're ready."

"I…"

Do it. Do it. Do it.

"I like eating chocolate after. It helps."

A huge flush of relief fell over him, and it left his body aching, but in a good way this time. It was so small. Maybe someone would even say that Remus hadn't opened up to Sirius at all, but to him it was everything. Remus had never been able to share anything about his lycanthropy with anyone, and this, however small, was something. And it helped that Sirius grinned and reached for a small bag by the bedside table, pulling out one of the good chocolate bars from Honeydukes.

"Chocoholic."

Remus went and grabbed the bar despite the insult and was mostly able to ignore the dull ache in his arm. "Who are you going around calling me a chocoholic. You're the one always carrying chocolate."

"Those are for you. I can't even remember when I had chocolate last, because I keep giving them all to you."

Remus reluctantly let go of Sirius' hand to unwrap the chocolate bar, although went to grab it again as soon as he was able to. He bit into the chocolate and closed his eyes to really savour the sweet taste. When he opened them again, Sirius was smiling softly at him.

Remus tilted the bar slightly towards him. "Want some?" This was something he had never done before.

Sirius pressed his lips together, possibly to contain a large smile that would otherwise fill up his whole face. "Aw shucks. You really do love me."

Before Remus could comment, Madam Pomfrey arrived to do a check up on him.

.:lll:.

The next few weeks weren't easier for Remus. It felt odd to have someone know his secret, and despite Sirius' reassurance right after the last full moon, he sometimes still half-expected some ministry worker to appear around any corner and drag him to Azkaban.

Sirius would often talk about werewolves, in a more general sense, when they were alone together, and Remus had had to more than once talk Sirius out of rewriting every page on werewolves in the library to show them in a more positive light. Madam Pinch might genuinely ban him then.

His feelings had been this weird mix between gratitude and fear.

But everything Sirius did only indicated that he had no reason to be fearful, and as the weeks passed, he slowly gathered the courage to talk with him about all of it.

The opportunity arose a week before the next full moon. Peter had invited Mary McDonald to Hogsmeade, and James understood to take a hint when Sirius and Remus decided to stay back. He had winked exaggeratedly before exiting the dorm with his broom.

Sirius wasted no time climbing into Remus' bed. "Want to make out?"

He eagerly agreed.

And it went well. There were some kisses, some gentle biting and a bit of happy moaning. They had never moved past the snogging stage, but that just meant they were really good at it. Sirius' hand cupped his cheek, but then it slowly went lower and lower and lower—

Remus broke off the kiss and Sirius immediately began stuttering apologies. His hand hadn't even been close to pulling up Remus' shirt, but the movement had still caused a panic. That was until Remus realized it didn't have to be like that anymore.

"…so, so sorry—"

"It's because of the bite."

Sirius' mouth hung open, stuck in the last word before Remus had caught him off. He blinked twice. "What?"

"The reason you couldn't see me without a shirt on." He took a few deep breaths. No going back now. "It's because of the bite. You would've known I was a werewolf if you had seen it." Remus gestured vaguely across his shoulder where the bite was safely hidden underneath his shirt.

"Oh." Sirius sat back. His hand hovered above Remus' shoulder, just above the bite. Their eyes met and Remus nodded. Carefully, Sirius placed his hand on the place on Remus' shoulder where he had gestured a moment ago and stroked his thumb across it.

A sudden smile spread across his face. "You shared."

It was said in a teasing way, but Remus had a feeling it was deeper than that. He took Sirius' other hand between both of his and pressed a light kiss on it.

"I never meant to hide anything from you. I never wanted to." Remus paused, but Sirius was silent, so he continued. "I wished so often that I could tell you. I was just so scared. And this isn't only about me, Dumbledore could be in huge trouble for letting me be here, but… I'm really happy you know because these past few weeks have just been… I've been able to breathe, for what feels like the first time since being bitten."

Remus could probably have rambled on forever, but now Sirius was staring at him with his dumb smile that made Remus' insides squirm.

Sirius pulled Remus closer and captured his lips in a deep kiss. "It's okay, Re. s'okay."

But maybe it wasn't. Remus had been so caught up in his own misery, that he hadn't realized Sirius was always there for him, yet he was rarely there for Sirius. It was about time he started paying it back.

Remus briefly pressed their foreheads together. "I meant to talk with you about something you said a few weeks ago, in the hospital wing. You said, 'you really do love me' almost like you think I… don't."

Sirius shook his head lightly, then delicately traced his fingers over Remus' jawline. "That was nothing. It was just a joke. A bad one." He smiled, but it didn't spread to Remus.

"It's okay if it's not—"

Sirius caught him off with a quick kiss but stayed close, so their lips touched when he spoke. "It is okay. You don't need to worry about me."

Remus pushed Sirius away and looked into his eyes. Really looked. There were about a thousand, and then a million more things he wanted to say in this moment while staring into those stormy-grey eyes. Sirius was the most amazing person in existence. He deserved more. So much more. He deserved the whole universe, but even that would never be enough.

"I am worrying about you though. This." He gestured between them. "Our relationship. It goes both ways. You look out for me, and I look out for you. If there's anything you need to talk about, I am here for you."

Sirius stayed silent. A few tears formed in his eyes, and he hastily wiped them away before laying himself on top of Remus, burying his nose in the crook of Remus' neck, then wrapping his arms tightly around him. Remus hugged back just as firmly. A few minutes later, Remus started running his fingers lightly across Sirius' back.

"I wanna tell you everything… so if you have any questions about my lycanthropy, you can ask now. Or some other time. Whenever you want."

Sirius sat back up. "Wow, I mean." He ran his hand through his hair. "I guess my first question would be, when were you bitten?"

He tried looking at Sirius when he spoke, but it was too hard. Many of the things he had experienced, he had never said out loud, because everyone around him had always known, or been told by his parents. Or it could get him killed. "I… I was four."

"What?"

That wasn't the reaction Remus had expected. Sirius was looking confused of all things.

"Since you were four?" He waited for Remus to nod. "That long? I thought it had only been a few months."

Now it was Remus' turn to be confused. "But I've been going away since our first year."

"Yeah, every month on the full moon to visit your mum. I thought she was a werewolf."

"She's a muggle. They can't survive the bite."

"I thought it was a cover."

They both stared for a few moments, but that led them nowhere. Remus shook his head.

"Can you tell what you think is going on?"

"Yeah, that'd probably be easier," Sirius laughed awkwardly, then shook his head at himself. He laced their fingers together before speaking. "So, I thought your mum was a werewolf because you had to visit her every month. I noticed two times in third year that you went away on a full moon, and I just kind of kept tabs to see if there was a pattern. I thought you didn't tell us because it's kind of a taboo subject, so I started researching it in case you did want to tell us, so you could have a positive experience with it."

"When reading about it, I discovered that the transformations are dangerous, so I thought that was why you had to visit, to say your last goodbye to her, which was why you never missed it for anything and why you were always so tired before and after the visits. You told us she was a muggle, but I knew muggles couldn't survive, so I thought she might be muggleborn. Her name would fly under the radar plus it would still explain how she taught you so many muggle things."

"And then…" Sirius took a deep breath and gave Remus' hand a squeeze. "A few moons ago when you were in the Hospital Wing and came back bruised and sad, I was so worried, and then before the last moon, you said her illness was 'genetic' so I thought she had bitten you. And I didn't want you to be alone with it, so I asked… without any tact as it turns out."

Remus snorted. Sirius had never been tactful. He was loud and impulsive and always ended up getting what he wanted, one way or another. But he also cared so much. He would hex anyone who dared look at his friends wrong, he was in the front row cheering for James at every quidditch game and would sit quietly in class to take notes for Remus. Whatever his friends needed; Sirius was there. And Remus loved it. He loved Sirius.

He had no way of putting words to his thoughts, so he ended up pulling Sirius closer to him and talking, not about that, but everything else. It was enough for now.

They talked for hours. It was difficult, and they hadn't nearly covered all of it. Such things could take a lifetime, but Remus didn't mind, because each word he got out felt like a weight off his shoulders. Remus was floating by the time James returned from flying and Peter came back from his date with Mary.

"How was the study session?" James added air quotes and finished with a wink.

Sirius rolled his eyes at James, then moved his gaze back to Remus. They were all wrapped up in each other and his voice was soft when he spoke. "It was good. I learned a lot."

Peter frowned. "That's too much information. I think. Anyway, I'm starving."

"Weren't you literally just on a date? How did that go, by the way?" James ripped his dirty quidditch sweater off.

"Good," Peter smiled. "Mary is lovely. The shop she chose is not though. I swear nothing at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop is eatable, so I'm heading to the kitchen, want anything?" James and Sirius shook their heads. "Remus?"

Before he could answer the others beat him to it.

"Chocolate!" They said in unison, wearing equally smug grins.

Remus crossed his arms best he could with Sirius still wrapped around him. "No… I like other things."

Peter was clearly holding back a laugh. "Really? Then what do you want me to get for you?"

They all stared at him, and Remus turned red under their gaze. "Uhm, carrot cake."

"Alright then." Peter walked comically slow towards the door. Remus was biting his lip; his gaze followed Peter as he opened the door slowly. Just as it was about to close, Remus couldn't take it anymore.

"No! No! Please! I don't want carrot cake." If Sirius' grip wasn't iron tight, he would have hidden his face in his hands. Remus glared, but Sirius was merely grinning stupidly at him.

James and Peter burst out laughing. "Don't worry. I'll bring you some of those brownies you love."

Remus managed a faint thank you, then Peter walked out, and James announced he was taking a shower.

Despite the slight hit to his pride, Remus was left with a warm feeling. There was something both so terrifying and wonderful about being known. And his friends, despite not knowing about his lycanthropy, did know him.

As soon as the shower was turned on, Sirius turned back to Remus, and even though James probably wouldn't be able to hear them, he whispered.

"Do you want them to know too?"

Of course.

"It's scary."

"Baby steps?"

Remus huffed a laugh, but this was everything he had ever wanted. If all of them knew, then all the most important people in his life knew, and he would never have to keep any secrets from them and would never have to tell another lie. He could finally be himself around them, and if James and Peter had the same reaction as Sirius (which he allowed himself to hope) then they would love it. Sirius especially was convinced that his heightened senses would be excellent for pranks.

So Remus took a deep breath. "Yeah. Baby steps sound good."

.:lll:.

The weeks passed quickly after that. The weather got warmer, they were preparing for exams and Remus had never felt lighter.

Even on the morning after the full moon. The bed felt softer, the blanket cosier and the pain-relieving potion seemed to work better than usual. But the best part was that, without even opening his eyes, he knew Sirius was sitting next to the bed, waiting for him to wake up.

Though he did open his eyes and Sirius was there, smiling at him. Remus loved that more than he could ever put into words. The consistency. The reassurance that he didn't have to be alone with it anymore.

"Morning, Beautiful."

"Morning, Handsome." His throat was dry.

Sirius got up to get a glass of water, but just then, James and Peter came barging through the curtain, armed with sweets from the kitchen and Honeydukes. Mainly chocolate, of course. They dumped it into Remus' lap. Both had wide, satisfied grins on their faces.

"Good morning."

They shared a secret look with Sirius, which Remus didn't notice. He got up slowly with Sirius' help and immediately dived in. Madam Pomfrey usually didn't let him eat sweets, but she had given in last month. Sirius was convinced it was because of his natural charm, but Remus thought she was just happy that he was eating at all.

Sirius sat next to Remus and wrapped an arm around him, Peter sat at the foot of the bed and as usual, James had too much energy to sit still, therefore ended up walking back and forth, eating sweets and talking about the final Quidditch match next week.

Part of him was convinced this was all a dream because it all seemed too unreal. He had started Hogwarts, having promised himself he would never make any friends because it wouldn't be fair to them, not knowing he was a monster. But it all changed when Sirius walked into his life in third year and decided to stay. And now he had an amazing boyfriend and two best friends who all loved and accepted him absolutely and unconditionally.

These kinds of things didn't happen to people like him, yet somehow it had.

Remus leaned against Sirius, feeling happier than he ever had despite the pounding in his head and he was lulled to sleep by the warmth of Sirius' body while James' rambling turned into white noise.

It felt like any other morning, and it was perfect.

.:lll:.

Sirius waited till Remus began snoring to be completely sure he was asleep. His snoring was adorable, except when it kept him awake. Even then, an easy charm always took care of that. But back to what was important!

(Sirius often got distracted when he thought about how cute Remus was).

When Sirius looked up, James and Peter were already staring at him.

"Did you get it?"

James pulled out a jar from his robes and flipped it in the air before catching it again. "Easy."

Peter revealed a small bag, with several more jars clinking together. "What about you?"

"Already in the dorm."

They had so far been able to find one book about animagi in the non-restricted section, and it had only been able to describe the basic process and a few of the rare potion ingredients they would need. Peter and James had been tasked with getting those while Sirius had to get books from the restricted section that could describe the process further.

They had had to do this while Remus was away, so he wouldn't guess what they were doing before they knew if it would work.

During his research, Sirius had found an article with an interview with an animagus who had survived an encounter with a werewolf. Seeing as werewolves only ever attack humans, Sirius' theory was that the animal part was what kept the witch safe, which meant if they all became animagi, they could be with Remus during the full moon and protect him from himself.

Sirius glanced at the scarred boy in his arms, who he loved so much it hurt, and planted a kiss on his forehead as a promise that he would never have to feel alone ever again. Because Sirius could now truly and really and properly, be there for Remus, in a way that really mattered. In the way he needed.

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One of the lines in this is straight up taken from a tv-show which inspired a whole other fic that I am currently 5k words into and nowhere near finished so look forward to that.