We finally have Xanxus' POV. This starts with a flashback. It's sort of a flashback? Probably more like Xanxus' thoughts on his relationship with Dino.
There were a lot of things Xanxus would never admit that actually happened. Like the occasional gentle brushes along his wrist or the warmth of a body pressed against him, limbs tangled together when he's lying in bed half-asleep.
Would never. Never. Never admit it.
Would never admit that he had somehow gotten into a relationship with Dino, if you could call being fuck buddies a relationship. (But really, it had been more than that. More than sex and hate. More than just lust and physical attraction. They were just too afraid to admit it. Love wasn't easy for those in the mafia. It came with too many risks. It was easier to pretend they didn't care about each other. Easier to just hate.)
Couldn't even fathom why or how.
Would have never pictured himself to be attracted to someone like Dino.
Dino was clam, charming, and hid his darker side behind a façade of clumsiness.
He was the complete opposite of Xanxus.
Yet…
Despite all that, Xanxus always found himself drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
Always letting himself be dragged to the hot springs or mafia land whenever Dino thought he needed to relax. Always found himself sparring Dino when they both needed to blow off some steam or just needed to escape. Always found himself lying in bed with Dino. Always found himself relaxing when Dino was around and forgetting that they were teenagers in the mafia with blood on their hands. Always found himself comforting Dino after a bad day or stopping him from overworking. Always found himself loving and caring for Dino.
Always. Always. Always did—
Had.
Until...
The Cradle Affair and Timoteo sealed him in ice for eight years.
Until…
The ring battles forced them to be on opposite sides.
Had…
But never really stopped.
Because...
Xanxus always longed for Dino when he's lying in bed awake at night, wishing he was there to chase away his nightmares. Nightmares of the cold, Timoteo or the slums.
It's why he ended up letting Dino in.
It's why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.
It's why he finally admitted he loved him.
Because…
Xanxus couldn't pretend anymore.
...
In the morning, Xanxus woke up with his head pounding and drenched in sweat. He sat up. But before he could go anywhere, an arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him back down. "Xanxus," Dino spoke, voice heavy with sleep. "Where are you going?"
"I got a mission, Trash," Xanxus mumbled, voice croaky and congested from both a sore throat and a stuffed nose.
"You're burning up, baby," Dino said, frowning. He could feel the heat radiating off of Xanxus despite the barrier between his shirt and Xanxus' hot-to-the-touch sweaty skin. "You need to rest."
Xanxus needed a break. Also, cuddles and food. Especially food since Dino was sure Xanxus still had food issues.
"Can't…" Xanxus told him. "…Have to go."
"You can," Dino insisted, tightening his hold. "You don't have to go. You can stay here with me."
Or he could come back to the Cavallone Mansion with him and let Dino take care of him. Instead of being stupid and going on a mission and possibly getting injured or worse—
"Nono's making me go, Scum," Xanxus mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "There's nothing I can do."
Unless he wanted to be sealed in ice again.
"Alright," Dino sighed, reluctantly letting go. "Just be careful, okay?"
'Don't go where I can't follow…'
"I will." Xanxus slipped off of him and stood up. Yet, the second he did. Xanxus had to grit his teeth and close his eyes as the room started spinning. His knees buckled.
Dino steadied him. "Are you sure you'll be alright, Xan?"
Xanxus flashed him a smile. "I'll be fine,"
"Okay…"
Was it wrong that Dino wanted to kidnap Xanxus and whisk him away somewhere far from Timoteo and Vongola?
...
Maybe…
Xanxus should've listened to Dino.
It wasn't like the mission had gone bad.
It was just…
Everything that happened after.
The next chapter will be up next week. Anyway, reviews are appreciated.
