Kurt stared blankly at the off-white walls. He was already in a fog after the doctor explained that Burt had had a severe heart attack, and he didn't really know if he would wake up or not. He sat there alone in the lobby while Carole was with his dad in ICU. Only one family member could be in the area at once, and Kurt decided that Carole should go first since she was a nurse, and she could possibly find out more about his condition while she was back there. He was regretting that decision now as he sat there alone in the sterile ER lobby. His anxiety was through the roof as he paced back and forth for a while before he finally sat down, his left leg shaking so much, that he decided to stand back up and maybe get some fresh air.

He passed through the double sliding doors, tears sliding down his face as he contemplated dropping to his knees right there on the pavement. He had never felt so alone in his life as he stood there and stared at the black sky, illuminated by the vast expanse of shining stars. It would be absolutely beautiful if he wasn't such a mess and didn't feel so lost and hopeless. He wrung his fingers through his hair as he breathed in through his nose, exhaling deeply only for it to look like smoke from the cold air around him. He was still shaking, although he wasn't sure if it was his nerves or the cold that caused the reaction. He needed a coat. He needed a hug. He needed Blaine.

Blaine had taken charge at the hotel. Kurt had only been out a few minutes, and Blaine had already called an Uber, finished packing Kurt's skin and hair products, and called Wes to inform him of what was going on. He or Jeff would handle correspondence with Body Formations while Kurt was out, and Wes was also completely up to speed with what was going on. Kurt didn't understand why George Anderson thought Blaine couldn't hack it in the business world. He took a different approach, but he had no problem taking charge.

Kurt shivered, but this time he knew it wasn't from the cold. It was from the memories of the previous night when they had finally given in to their urges and had full-on sex, not once, but twice, first with Blaine topping, then they switched, things much more tender and drawn out. Even though they didn't say much nor were they in a committed relationship, it was still the most connected he had ever felt to someone.

Now, he just felt empty and alone, more so than he ever had before. It wasn't just because his father was in a coma. It was because he had a tendency to leave before relationships got too serious. People couldn't leave him if he left first. He was fully aware that it was always his fault. His insecurities caused him to push people away. Intimacy scared the shit out of him, although that was the theme of their previous evening. Everything about their encounter was laced with vulnerability and trust, even though they hadn't made any declarations of love or committed to one another.

Then, this morning, he got scared and pushed Blaine away. Blaine had tried to call him out on it. His words replayed once more in his head-

"This was you, Kurt. I tried to reserve a different room. You insisted. You made a move on me. I told you what I wanted from the beginning, and now you-"

" And now?"

Those words haunted him. He couldn't help but finish the moment in his head, each time, Blaine's words being more harsh and biting. They were also one hundred percent accurate.

"And now, you're pushing me away!"

"And now, you're being cold and distant"

"And now, I want nothing to do with you."

"And now, I'm going to give you what you've asked. I'll leave you alone. "

And now, he was alone. Completely, and utterly on his own. Blaine was right. It was his fault. It always was. He had broken up with Chandler. He had broken up with Adam. There had been others who had tried, but Kurt shut it down before anything could begin. He had built a fortress around himself, priding himself that it was indestructible, impenetrable.

Until Blaine. Blaine hadn't just broken through the barrier. He had knocked it down. He had seen Kurt for who he was, layer by layer, stripping them away, piece by piece, so he was bare and exposed completely. Blaine, in turn, revealed himself as well. Raw, naked, and perfectly imperfect.

But things weren't that simple. Blaine had said that he wanted more and for the first time, so did he. He wanted intimacy. He wanted companionship. He wanted honesty and trust. He wanted love. In short, he wanted Blaine.

But Blaine was gone. He had blown it. Blaine had left him, just like everyone else he had ever allowed in his heart. His mother, Finn, Adam. Now, his father was about to turn that corner as well. At least, his father was fighting. Nobody else had bothered. Kurt had hoped that Blaine was different. That he would fight for them. Those words, ' and now,' could have led to something more.

And now, I'm calling your bullshit.

And now, I'm going to fight for us.

And now, I'm here, and I'm not going, no matter what you say.

Damn his fantasies and wishful thinking. Because Blaine had gone back to New York, and Kurt felt more isolated and abandoned than he ever had in his life. Another cold tear slid down his cheek as his mind spiraled down the dark and lonely path that he had paved for himself. He turned to go back inside when he felt strong, comforting arms wrapped around him.

"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed, knowing that embrace immediately, from both the feel and the scent of the man behind him.

"How is he?" Blaine asked solemnly as he squeezed Kurt tightly.

Kurt pulled back a little but stayed in Blaine's warm embrace. "He's in a coma. I haven't even gotten to see him yet." Kurt sniffed, tears sliding down his face.

Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead. "What happened?"

"He and Carole were at dinner, and he was telling her about his plans to run for office again. I told you that he was a congressman, and he had been debating whether he wanted to run again. Since Finn passed last year, he just didn't know if he wanted to deal with politics anymore, but then he told Carole that he wanted to sell the shop, move somewhere between New York and D.C, to be closer to me, and to keep fighting for gay rights. He told her all of this and then collapsed as he stood up from the table." Kurt said, another tear sliding down his cheek.

"Your father is an amazing man, Kurt. I've followed him since he was elected because of his stance on gay rights. I didn't realize that you were his son until you told me that he was a congressman. You don't really look alike, but now that I know, of course, a man like that is your father. I'm so sorry," Blaine said. "I'm sure that he'll recover from this."

"They don't even know if he's going to wake up. My family doesn't have a good track record with hospitals. They go in, but they don't make it back out," Kurt sobbed, his body trembling uncontrollably, his face ashen.

"Kurt, you're shaking and it's freezing out here," Blaine said, wrapping his peacoat around Kurt's shoulders. "Let's go inside. Maybe you could go and see him when your stepmother is done."

"I'm afraid to go back in there. What if he doesn't wake up? What if he dies and this was the last time I got to see him? Blaine, I can't lose him," Kurt cried. "He's the only person I have left in my life, the only family I have."

"You have Carole, and I'm here, Kurt. I know we haven't known each other long, but I'm here because you're important to me. I'm here."

"You're here," Kurt cried, collapsing into Blaine and allowing him to be shielded him from the biting chill of the nightime air and his own worst thoughts and fears. Blaine wrapped him protectively in his arms, as if to cover him from everything that was happening. Cold droplets of rain and sleet started hitting them in the face, as Blaine stepped back and draped his arm around Kurt's shoulder and coaxed him inside, out of the cold. He led him to the hard, wooden-backed chairs, but Kurt just shook his head and stood with his back against the wall, sobbing louder than he knew he was able and allowing Blaine to just hold him as he cried more tears than he even realized that his body could produce.


"I thought you were going back to New York. You had a meeting with your father today about Body Formations," Kurt sniffed as they sat side by side in the ICU lobby.

"We met through Skype after I worked things out with the airlines. All you have to do is call them when you're ready to fly back. You had a round-trip ticket. Dad said that the company would pay the difference," Blaine explained, putting his hand on Kurt's knee and squeezing it. "He said stay as long as you need, but just check in when you know what's going on."

"That doesn't sound like the Mr. Anderson that I know," Kurt said, his mouth agape in surprise.

"He gets it. Health is no laughing matter. He learned that after his first heart attack," Blaine replied solemnly.

"First? How many has he had?"

Blaine sighed as he stood up to stretch his legs for a second. "Two. The first one was years ago. It was related to low potassium. It was mild, and it woke him up for a little while about his workaholic tendencies, for a couple of weeks. It lasted maybe two months, and then he was back to his old ways. The second one was shortly after Cooper left. He had 90% blockage. It was bad. It was the main reason that I joined the company full time and stopped working on the album." He sat back down next to Kurt. "Cooper came back to show me the ropes, and he said he would stay, but when dad came back, they had a massive blow-up fight, and Cooper hasn't been back since."

"You never told me any of that. God, Blaine. I thought your dad manipulated you into joining the company," Kurt blurted.

"No, not at first. I decided it all on my own, well, mom and I did. She was so scared, Kurt. It was ultimately what made mom leave him. After the second one, he promised that he would step back, go part-time or something, and let me run things. But apparently, I wasn't capable. They fought over it, and they split last year for good. And it was my fault." A tear slid down Blaine's right cheek.

"It's not your fault. You didn't cause your father's heart attack any more than I caused my father's," Kurt assured Blaine, rubbing the back of his hand. "You had no control over any of that."

"But I did. If I would've been able to handle the company, he would've retired and my parents would still be together. I thought I could handle it, but every time someone would ask him why he hasn't retired yet, he'd say that he couldn't yet," Blaine was crying harder than Kurt was. He wiped at his eyes with a tissue. "I'm sorry. You're the one who's dealing with something horrendous, and here I am, once again, whining about me."

"I asked, Blaine. Besides,you aren't whining. You are opening your heart, and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. It gives me hope. Your dad recovered from a major heart attack, and it shows me that you're even more amazing than I could've known," Kurt said with a smile, rubbing Blaine's shoulder. "But hey, you weren't planning on staying here at the hospital were you? Did you keep the hotel room?"

Blaine shook his head. "No. They were all booked, remember? I can stay with my mom in Westerville. I was planning to stay until he woke up."

"And if he doesn't?" Kurt asked, sniffling once again.

"He'll wake up, Kurt. I have hope that he will, ok. Because karma owes it to you. You're so amazing and so is he. You need him, and losing him now-" Blaine sighed. "No. That would be karma being a total bitch."

Kurt squeaked out a little laugh as he wrapped his arms around Blaine. "You can stay at my dad's house. Westerville is two hours away, and I don't want you hunting for a hotel room when we have two guest rooms. Mine and Finn's old room. It'd be nice to have someone in it again. A friendly, encouraging face. Unless you don't want to," Kurt said biting his lip. "I know you said earlier that I shouldn't have asked you to stay with me at the hotel, that everything that happened between us was my fau-"

Blaine held a finger to Kurt's lips to shush him. "Shhhh. I'll stay. I don't want you alone. You said that Carole was staying with him tonight, and you would stay tomorrow, right?"

Kurt nodded. "Although I feel like I need to be here," he admitted.

"Kurt, we barely slept last night," Blaine blushed, "and though you insist that the seven cups of horrible coffee you've had is enough to keep you alert, I've seen you yawn 20 times in the last hour.

"I'm not sure if it's creepy or endearing that you know my yawn count," Kurt giggled, "And regarding the coffee, I'd call it a mix between tar and sludge." Kurt yawned, his eyes blinking several times. "Ok. You caught me. I'm exhausted."

"Give me your address, and I'll drive us home. Well, to your home," Blaine corrected, blushing slightly. "In the morning, I'll drive you back up to the hospital so that you and your stepmother can switch, and she can get some sleep."

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"You came back," Kurt sniffled.

"Of course, I came back," Blaine replied immediately. "I couldn't leave you alone if I tried. I know you said you didn't want more, but ultimately, we were friends first, and I intend to be by your side, as your friend, as long as you need me."

"Thank you," Kurt said, engulfing him once more in a bear hug.


As he stood there with Kurt in his arms, holding him tightly as the man fell apart, it hit Blaine like a ton of bricks. Even though this was painful and terrifying, even if it was forbidden, he knew nothing else in the world mattered right now except Kurt. His beautiful friend and colleague, who sometimes got drunk and put on sexy athletic wear. His friend, who could calm his own nerves when he was nervous or make him laugh with ease. His friend, whose eyes rolled back when he came. His friend, who loved with all of his heart because he realized how short life could actually be. His friend, who was currently burrowed in his arms. Even though the circumstances couldn't have been worse, Blaine knew it was where he was supposed to be. He was completely head over heels in love with Kurt Hummel.


Kurt had drifted off to sleep before they even made it on the highway. Blaine sipped his medium drip as Siri helped him navigate the streets of Lima, Ohio until they pulled into the driveway of a small and cozy-looking home. He shook Kurt awake, his blue eyes showing confusion when they opened. "Blaine?'

"I need you to unlock the door. I'll get your bags and everything, but I wanted to help you get inside in case you're still drowsy."

"Me, drowsy? Have you slept a wink at all in the last two days? How the hell did you even know where to go?" Kurt asked, twisting the key in the lock and turning the doorknob.

"Carole told me. She told me to tell you that he still hasn't woken up yet. His vitals are better, but he hasn't moved. Of course, he just had extensive surgery to repair the blockage. She said she'd explain more if you wanted to call when you got here, but she said that you didn't have to. She'd call if there were any major changes," Blaine said as he followed behind Kurt, his suitcase in his hand. "You said you had a guest room?"

"Yeah, upstairs," Kurt said, taking Blaine's free hand in his and leading him up the oak stairway. "The guest room is right here, and my room is down the hall. Leave my bags in the car. I'll get them later. I have plenty of clothes and stuff here, and you need sleep."

Blaine yawned. "I won't argue with that last observation. The dash of the rental car kept popping up with the suggestion that I consider taking a break. Apparently, I swerved a time or two. I blame my lack of sleep and my lack of familiarity with the Lima streets," he chuckled, but it quickly turned into another yawn. "I need a shower."

"The bathroom is right across the hall. Towels are in there. The shower is kinda tricky, and the water pressure sucks, but you'll get clean. I'm sure you're used to much nicer facilities, but this is home away from home."

"It's lovely, Kurt. Did you help your dad design the aesthetic?"

"Is it that obvious?" Kurt laughed.

"It was an assumption, but it turns out I was right," Blaine smiled. "You'll have to show me around in the morning. I don't think that I can battle my eyelids much longer tonight though."

Kurt sighed. "I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to sleep. I feel guilty that I fell asleep in the car earlier."

"Nonsense. You need your sleep."

"Blaine, do you think that-," Kurt stopped mid-sentence, biting his lip to stifle the question that almost popped out. 'Do you think that you could stay with me?'

"He's going to wake up, Kurt, and we'll be well-rested when he does. I know it," Blaine said reassuredly. "Good night, Kurt."

"Good night."


Around midnight, Blaine rolled out of bed. He had been awakened by his bladder. He carefully padded quietly across the hardwood floors of the old home so he didn't wake Kurt. He relieved himself quickly, washed his hands, turned the light off, and stepped into the hallway when he stopped dead in his tracks.

He had almost missed it, the muffled sounds behind the closed door where Kurt was supposed to be sleeping. He listened from behind the door, and Kurt was crying. He opened the door gently. "Kurt, are you ok?"

Kurt's head poked out from under several blankets that he had burrowed under, his hair disheveled and his face red and blotchy. "Carole called," he sniffled. "No change. He's not awake. Why isn't he awake? He's breathing on his own, and the surgery seemed to be successful. He should've woken up," Kurt sobbed. "He's not gonna wake up, Blaine!"

Blaine ran to the bed and sat down right beside Kurt on the mattress. "He's going to be ok. He's resting. He's been through a lot but he's breathing on his own. His vitals are good. His heart is just so big and full, Kurt. It just needed a break," he said, embracing Kurt in his arms.

"Stay. Please. Stay. I need you to stay with me please," Kurt pleaded.

"Then, I'll stay, Blaine said, slipping under the blanket. Blaine laid down next to Kurt. "Am I the big spoon or the little one?"

"Big. Just hold me," Kurt begged, his lower lip quivering.

"As you wish," Blaine said, kissing the top of Kurt's head.

"Sing me something?"

"The Beatles?"

"Always," Kurt sighed.

"Kay,"

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blaine held on tightly to Kurt as he softly sang.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly

Into the light of a dark black night

Blaine held on tightly as he sang the familiar and calming words. Kurt's back pressed right against his chest. Kurt had told him before that music soothed him when he was upset, and Blaine knew that was true because it hadn't taken long for Kurt's breathing to become slower and calmer.

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

As he finished the song, he leaned in and kissed Kurt's cheek. Kurt didn't respond. He must've finally succumbed to his tiredness. He knew that them sharing a bed, much less a room was a bad idea, but he wasn't going anywhere.

Lying there with his arms wrapped around Kurt felt safe, like home, and he didn't ever want to break free from it. Kurt shifted, rolling a little so that now he was on his back. Blaine adjusted his body so his head was on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt responded by wrapping an arm around him. That's all it took, and the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He belonged here. He loved being here. He loved being held by Kurt. He loved talking to him, being domestic with him. He loved everything about it because he loved Kurt.

Unfortunately, Kurt didn't want that. So he would take what he could get. He'd cherish this time spent in the arms of the man who had changed his world, who made him feel like all things were possible. He carefully arched his neck up and kissed Kurt's forehead gently while he whispered the words that he felt like he couldn't just keep trapped in his heart right now. It was too risky to utter them during daylight hours. But there was no harm in uttering them now. Right?


Kurt startled at the sensation of Blaine's lips on his cheek, but he kept his eyes shut. It was a light touch, really. Barely there at all, but it was everything he needed at that moment. Intimate, gentle. Loving. Comforting. Perfect. Another kiss followed, this time to his forehead, and the words that followed that tender, sweet kiss were all he had longed to hear.

"I love you."

It had been whispered, and it was obvious that he was not supposed to hear them spoken. Not that he hadn't hoped that Blaine would say these words. It was a dream come true, because he had known for a while that he felt the same. He loved Blaine. He had felt that way pretty much from the moment that they had met.

But it was too complicated. Blaine was the future CEO of the company he currently worked for. Blaine was off-limits. They couldn't be together, not openly, and Kurt couldn't be in a relationship where he had to hide their love from everyone.

He'd done that before, with Chandler. That relationship had been doomed to fail from the start because Chandler was still closeted with his family, and he had gotten so frustrated with how paranoid Chandler was that someone would walk in on them. It never happened because, after the third freakout that Chandler had, Kurt had had enough. He couldn't do that again. He needed to do what he had done then. He needed to walk away.

However, it had been easy with Chandler because there was nothing really there in his heart for the boy. However, walking away from Blaine wouldn't be easy at all. It would be denying his heart everything it had ever wanted. Love without conditions and judgment. Comfort. Acceptance. Feeling like he was whole when the other person was there. Blaine was that missing piece that completed his heart, his life, and his vision for the future.

And yet, it couldn't happen. He couldn't be the reason that Blaine wasn't promoted. Worse, he couldn't be the reason that Blaine's father was disappointed in his son. Blaine finally felt accepted and appreciated by his father. He couldn't be the knife that snipped that thin piece of thread that was holding that relationship together.

No. Blaine could never know that those same words were trapped between his lips, wanting to burst out every time they were close to one another. He snuggled closer to Blaine, knowing that he was playing a dangerous game. The problem was that, unlike last time, it was too late to walk away. Because Blaine wasn't the only one in love. Kurt knew it deep down. He was one hundred percent in love with Blaine, and he knew he could no longer fight it. But he had to because he couldn't risk everything. Blaine was right earlier. Karma was a bitch.

Author's Note: This was one of my favorite chapters to write. I'd love to hear your feedback. My favorite thing about writing is hearing from you guys. I appreciate everybody who has favorited, subscribed, and reviewed. You are all awesome. This story is all finished. It's just taking me some time to get it posted on here because I've been swamped with stuff.