Once A Shadow Without Light
Pt. I
"I am so afraid of disappointing the people I love, I often forget that I am someone I love too.
And I need kindness just as much as I believe the people I love do."
― Nikita Gill
Blake hated ships. Airships were not as bad as the ones that travelled the oceans, but she still hated them. The confined hallways with nowhere to go if something terrible happens. Sure, the Mantle of Responsibility was state of the art Atlas tech, and it would take enough firepower to level half a city to take it down, but it did not change the fact that Blake hated being trapped on it. After two days of being on board, she was ready to leave with the next batch of people heading to Atlas.
Of course, she would never do it, but she was tempted.
Walking through the halls, Blake felt eyes on her wherever she went. Whispers could be heard that was calling her filth or an animal of Atlas. A Faunus, a member of the White and Black Fang no less, is given the title and authority of the Atlesian Army Specialist. It did not help that Weiss was her superior on paper either. The term 'Schnee's Pets' became the unofficial title of their squad, and Blake was struggling to keep her temper in check. Luckily, the authority that came with the rank kept those names to whispers and only directed at her back.
She had promised Yang that she would check up on Ruby, so she walked through the crowded corridors towards the infirmary. Yang had been temporarily banned from the area since she had refused to leave Ruby's side, and it took the combined might of Weiss, Blake and Neo to convince her to get something to eat and shower since she had none nothing but sit at Ruby's side. Standing at Ruby's bed, she looked down at the younger woman and sighed. Still in her coma, while her body slowly heals.
Blake could tell the bandages had been changed recently, the brown of dried blood no longer on her wrappings, making her look much better than the last time she saw her. She walked up to the bedside, gently brushed some hair tinted hair out of her face, and felt her throat tighten a little. Blake had played a role in Ruby's current condition. From not doing more when they first met back in Ritrr to their fight in Mistral, Blake felt responsible for this, and she knew the rest thought it too. "I'm sorry, Ruby," Blake whispered to her again.
How many times has she said those same words to the unresponsive girl? Blake had long lost count.
Checking with the doctors again, still no change yet. While she far from happy with the results, there was nothing she could do about it right now. With that, Blake left the med-bay and continued on her way to the mess hall for whatever was available. The area was massive in scale, it too had been converted to better accommodate the influx of soldiers from every faction of this war.
Weiss told her that the food on the Mantle of Responsibility was actually pretty good in comparison. Still, with the need to feed so many more people, the quality was exchanged for quantity. Even then, the portions were small. Ten minutes to get in, eat, and leave was what was being enforced to those not confined to the flight deck barracks. Being a specialist, Blake was able to take three meals, simple kitchen cooked MREs back to her' team', even if she got a glare from the people in the line.
Walking back towards their room, it had taken a while for Blake to get used to moving around the dreadnaught, let alone towards a space that Headmaster Ozpin had given to her, Yang and Neo. That was something else that needed to be explained to her now that the man himself is here. Blake knew there was some sort of secret agenda going on, but she needed to take things one at a time. Reaching the room, Blake took a deep breath and pressed the button that controlled the door.
The door opened, and Blake saw Neo sitting on the bed. Her mismatched eyes quickly hardened as she picked up her parcel and stood up from her spot. Images of what she had seen, what the woman looks like without her "Mask." In all honesty, it scared Blake. Before she could say anything, Neo ripped the blade out and charged at Blake, pinning her against the door and pressing the sharp edge against her neck. Her Aura straining against the steel as it threatened to cut open her skin.
She could feel the anger coming off of Neo as she opened her mouth and spoke with her strained voice. Blake had to hold her breath and tune her heart's beating so she could Neo the smaller woman.
"She will never know…"
It was hard to see Neo as she is now and not how Blake found her in Mistral. When she moved that large chunk of the roof, Blake nearly put it back down after seeing it was not the person she and Yang were looking for. Her eye colour might have been different, but the feel of them was the same. Blake could hardly recognize the person under the blood and dust, let alone the uncountable scars that covered her pale face. The person under the rocks was Neo but was missing all of her colours.
Before Blake could call out to Yang to help her, the smaller woman grabbed Blake's hand and yanked her hard to her level. Now up close and personal, Blake could see the anger and fear in her pale eyes. Her hand was trembling, and she had never seen the person before her on the verge of tears before. "I got you. Let me call Yang, and we can get you out of here," Blake told her as the woman trembled and shook her head. The idea of Yang seeing in in such a state terrified her more than death. Blake watched as she took deep breaths and began to focus profoundly and felt a pull in her soul. She had not studied Aura manipulation and was not skilled in it at all, but she knew enough to transfer a small amount. Letting the sensation pull a thread of her Aura, Blake watched as a little bit of Neo's Aura came back and then a shimmer washed across her body.
Her scars faded away, and her colours filled back in. Neo had returned before her very eyes. Neo nodded her head, and Blake shouted for Yang.
It was hard to believe that it had only been two days since that had happened, and now here she was, backed up against a door with a blade to her throat by the same woman she rescued. It was hard to look at the woman before her and not see what she actually looked like. Another push of the sword to her throat brought Blake from her memory, and the warning was clear. "You should show her," That only angered Neo more as Blake had to focus her Aura as the sword threatened to end her life.
With gritted teeth, Neo shook her head quickly with no compromise. Slowly, Blake reached up and placed her hand on Neo's, gently pushing the blade away from her neck. "Yang knows a thing or two about accepting people who hide what they truly are, I know that for a fact," She wiggled her Faunus ears to show this fact in the hopes to convince her of that. The blade left her skin and rested at Neo's side as she thought on Blake's words. "She can see past whatever wall you build or mask you wear, she can see into people's hearts for who they really are. I wouldn't be here right now if that wasn't the case, and neither would you,"
Blake watched the off-colour eyes shift from her to the ground while she slid the blade back where it came from and saw her body deflate a little. Before either one of them could do anything else, the door on the other side of the room opened up, and Yang walked out with a towel around her shoulders and her hair tied up into a ponytail. The tank top she wore showed off the black dragon tattooed on her skin that ended at her severed limb.
The damage from that night took its toll on everyone, including Yang's arm. It was being repaired onboard the Dreadnought. Seeing that missing arm hammered home just how much Blake had failed her friend. "Hey," Yang's soft voice echoed in the silence of the room.
"Hey," Blake responded. "I-uh got some food for us," she held up the three bags of cooked ready eat meals.
"What's on today's menu?" She asked as she walked across the room and set the towel down on the bed. Blake could still see some of the water on her skin from her shower. The smell of chemical cleanliness from military brand soap wafting off her body. Looking down at what she brought, she sighed a bit as she read off the labels.
"I got chicken, beef and pork MREs. But they were made in a kitchen, so it's a little bit better than what it usually is." Yang nodded a bit and took the pork meal off her hands. Looking at what was left, Blake extended the other options towards Neo. She could see the hesitation in her off-coloured eyes but took the beef, leaving Blake with chicken. With nowhere to sit, Blake followed the two other women to the bed, where they sat in awkward silence as the smells mixed and lingered.
The scraping of plastic utensils inside of the bags filled the air as they ate. Blake could see Yang sticking the packet between her knees and holding it there as she scooped out the military meal into her mouth. Even Neo was quieter than usual like she was as nervous as Blake about being this close to Yang after everything that had happened. With a defeated sigh, Yang shoved the spork into the packet and set it on the ground. "Alright, let's do this…"
This is what Blake was afraid of. Both Neo and Blake set their meals aside and looked towards Yang, who had her eyes closed and trying to control her breathing. Blake wanted to reach out and hold her hand but thought better of it. Blake did not want to be the first one to speak, but the longer it stretched out, the heavier the room felt. "I don't even know where to start…" Yang whispered into the air. Blake knew that feeling, but could not even begin to put the words she wanted to say in any order.
"I know you both love me, would do anything to protect that and proved that over and over again…"
"Yang," Blake interrupted the start of her speech with her soft words. Her throat tightened with what she was about to say, but it needed to be said. "I promise to respect any choice you make,"
"That's the thing I don't want to choose. I can't," Looking over, Blake may Yang's soft lavender eyes and saw the conflict in her eyes. "Blake, you are my closest friend. No one could have asked for a better partner at Beacon than you. I know it was short, but I knew that I loved you since then and even after everything that happened, I still do."
Blake felt a warmth spread through her chest at Yang's words. The guilt of what she had done to Yang continued to eat at her, but knowing that Yang never once stopped loving her, it helped push so many things off her shoulders. She felt the lightest she had ever felt in her life. With her words said, Yang looked over to her other side at Neo, who was looking at the ground. When Yang gently called her name, she finally looked up.
"You came to me at my darkest moment, when everything was gone, and I had nothing left, you came and saved me. I would be dead without you. You showed me that even when I was at my worst when a part of me was taken away, I could still be loved. You brought my light back when everything else was dark,"
Blake listened to Yang's words about Neo and saw the same warmth that Blake felt enter Neo. Her eyes brightened, and a smile spread across her face. The familiar bitterness of jealousy began to form, but Blake quickly pushed it down when Yang looked away from Neo and stared at the floor.
"So many things have been taken away from me, and now, when everything is finally getting better, I have to throw something away? It's just not fair…" Her lone hand began to tremble as her voice started to wobble. Blake could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Why can't I have just one win without sacrificing something else? Am I so selfish about one thing?"
Blake could see the pain in her friend, she was only moments away from a complete breakdown, and Blake knew something had to happen. With a heavy heart, Blake reached over and gripped Yang's hand and squeezed it. "You don't have to choose," Blake said as she made a choice for her. Yang was happy with Neo, anyone could have seen that. Neo was the best thing for Yang right now. When Blake was about to leave, however, something stopped her.
Looking down at her hand over Yang's, she saw Neo holding her there. Stuck between the two hands, Blake looked up and met with Neo's eyes. She tried to study them, seeking an answer to why Neo would do this, but Blake was met with a shrug. That simple gesture sent Blake's mind reeling. What the hell did that mean? When Blake shook her head in confusion, Neo reached into her jacket and pulled out her scroll. It was still her old one; Neo's record was not allowed to officially become a Specialist but was given something like a pardon for helping the military.
Only a few thumb strokes and the message was finished. "You don't have to choose; no one wants to leave. Yang's heart is big enough for both of us, and if it's for Yang, we can be nice to each other."
Blake could not believe what she was reading. After everything, the threats, the fights, the blood they spilled over Yang, Neo was willing to compromise just like that on something so big like this. "You leaving would do more harm than good for Yang. The same could be said if I left instead."
She did have a point. Blake knew Yang would only beat herself up if either of them left her. Nights spent wondering if she chose right while the others wondered the same. Blake knew she would do anything for Yang, and this seemed like the best choice on paper. "I mean, if you're okay with it," Blake looked over at Yang, who could not believe what she was reading. The blonde kept looking between Blake and Neo before she let out a small laugh.
"Can this even work?" Yang asked as she looked between the two of them. Blake looked at Neo again, and she could see the same question in her eyes, but the two of them knew the answer to it.
"If it's for you, I'm sure we can both come to an agreement…" With that, Neo gave a solid nod as she squeezed both of their hands. "It's going to take some work and a lot of compromises, but as long as you're happy, we'll move mountains to make sure of it." Neo gave another nod and reached up to wipe some tears falling from Yang's eyes. Blake let Yang's hand slip out from her own and wrap around Neo's shoulders while Yang's stump pressed against Blake's back. Knowing what she wanted, Blake leaned in and let her forehead touch Yang's while Neo came in on her other side.
All three of them pressed their heads together in the embrace while Yang softly cried. "I love you," Yang said softly as she held the two of them tightly.
"Love you too," Blake whispered back. Looking at Neo, she could see the same words mirrored in her eyes as they remained in the group hug. After a little while, Yang finally pulled away and smiled at the two of them. Blake could not remember the last time she had seen such a genuine smile on her friend's face. Standing up from the bed, Blake stretched out her back as she felt a vibration from her pocket and judging by the response from Yang and Neo, they had gotten a message as well.
When Blake reached into her pocket, her fingers brushed against something, and everything stopped for her. How could she have forgotten so easily? It had only been two days since she found out, but with all the chaos that had been happening, she pushed it to the back until she was violently reminded once again. She wrapped her fingers around it and slowly pulled it out like maybe she had gotten it wrong, but when she opened her hand, the small plastic baggie was the same with the same gold earring with dried blood and tufts of black fur stuck to them.
She heard Yang call out her name, but Blake could not take her eyes off her mother's only possession she had left. Memories flooded her mind of the last time she had seen her parents. Their smiles, their voices, the smell of the incense her mother burned regularly. How hurt they looked when Blake had yelled at them, calling her father a coward and her mother a sympathizer when she ran off with Adam to Vale. Their last words were pleads to stay away from Adam and stay home with them. Now Blake will never say any of the things she held in her heart to them again.
"What are those?" Yang asked as she stood next to Blake, looking at what was in her hand.
"They're-" Why was it so hard to speak? Her vision began to blur as tears started to form in her eyes. "They're my mother's…" Her breathing was coming quickly. She could not ruin Yang's happiness with her sadness, not after they had just worked everything out. She felt a hand on her shoulder and felt her knees grow weaker.
"She… Adam, he…" She could not say it. If she said it then it was true and Adam lies. He always lies. He had to be lying. "He killed her…"
Blake fell to her knees, and Yang was quick to catch her. The weight of her words slammed into her as she cried into Yang's shoulder, clutching her mother's earrings in her hand. Blake mourned for her mother, wept for the words she could never say to her now that she was dead. She felt her throat get sore from how hard she was crying. Yang's soft words doing little to dampen the grief she felt. She did not know how long she sat on the floor crying, but Blake saw Neo sitting next to them, her small hand running circles along her back. Compassion in her eyes as Yang gently rocked her.
When Blake felt like she had no tears left, she reached out to both women and pulled them in close. The warmth settled over her as Yang whispered to her. "He's going to pay for everything he's done. I promise you that," Blake nodded as she felt Neo reach out and gripped her hand. Blake barely knew the smaller woman but felt a kinship with her start to grow. Even as the sun began to set after everything was done, the three remained, and Blake was glad Neo had convinced her to stay. Despite doing everything for Yang's sake, Blake could not help but feel happy about the thought of never being alone again, either.
A/N: Look at that, an actual schedule!
My wonderful editor is still out but will hopefully be back soon with a full recovery soon so everything will be much easier to read.
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And as always, thank you for taking time out of your busy days to read my slice of madness!
