Ch. 8
The crisp autumn air was a refreshing change from her stuffy, warm office. Pumpkins, leaves and other various decorative elements were strategically placed to welcome the new season and create an atmosphere fitting for the new lines of cakes and coffees offered by the little eatery. Dorothy adjusted her beige scarf accordingly as the wind began to play with the delicate fabric. Usually she would be at her L4 colonial office this time of year to help manage the fall line, but Relena's invite seemed to hint at a deeper reason and so Dorothy scheduled all discussions to be held via video conference instead from the Brussels headquarters.
The cool wind caressed her face again and she smiled in spite of herself. She was fond of this time of year, but not nearly as much as some, although this was the ideal sort of weather for eating outside and the Cafe was more than making use of it. This was Relena's favorite place to go for their little luncheons and thus Dorothy, Hilde and Silvia sat around a small umbrella covered table to engage in the latest news. Of course, Dorothy was always one for gossip and intrigue but these girls offered none of that. Instead, each woman went around in a circle discussing different points in their daily lives and laughing about various mishaps or inconveniences. She had to admit: it was rather more entertaining than she'd imagined.
"And then Duo looked at me and said, 'Babe, I am so glad our tubes are tied because I don't think I could handle another!'" The three women burst out laughing and Dorothy, herself cracked a smile. Duo and Hilde had five miniature versions of the former Deathscythe pilot. It was more than understandable why they wouldn't want another.
"Well," Sylvia started with a shy smile, face turning a bit pink. "Quatre and I have started planning to have our first."
"Sylvia! That's wonderful!" Relena smiled.
"You mean people plan having kids?" Hilde's comment made the three burst into laughter again.
"We want to try for next summer." Sylvia stirred her Frappuccino; a wistful smile on her face.
"Then you better get busy! It's already about time!" Hilde offered. Sylvia's blush deepened. In spite of herself, Dorothy couldn't help but feel that she was in the wrong place. Conversations about children and starting families were the sort that she avoided whenever possible. It wasn't as though she had any plans to do that sort of thing...
"But I gotta ask, Syl. With Quatre being Muslim and you being protestant, how are you going to raise it?" Sylvia took a drink of Frappuccino.
"Religiously, our baby will be raised in the faith of Islam, although Christmas and other Christian holidays will still be observed since my family celebrates them." This was another element Dorothy had never considered. How did two people from completely different lifestyles find a way to raise a family? The fact that Sylvia and Quatre agreed on a way to do so was...
"Interesting…" Dorothy had not realized she said this out loud until she saw all three women staring at her.
"Do you have something to add?" Sylvia asked. It seemed to be no secret to the former Alliance socialite that Dorothy once pursued her husband but all of that was in the past. Still, Sylvia seemed to hold a strong dislike of her.
"Me?" Dorothy smirked. "How could I possibly have anything to add to such domestic drivel? I am the only one here who is not in that sort of relationship, unless that diamond on the hand Relena is trying to conceal is just a common bobble." All eyes then turned from her to Relena as Dorothy's deflection worked.
"I was going to tell you. That is why I invited you all here today." Relena smiled. "Heero asked me to marry him last week."
"Relena!" Hilde yelled cheerfully. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Congratulations!" Sylvia added.
"I wanted all of my closest friends here to tell you at the same time so that I could ask you to be my bride's maids." Hilde and Sylvia smiled broadly.
"Of course!" Sylvia said.
"As if I would say no?" Hilde teased. Dorothy offered a small smile.
"I don't see why not." Dorothy added, her voice perhaps a bit less enthused than the other two.
"I knew I could count on all of you." Relena radiated a happiness that Dorothy almost found herself envying… almost.
"How did he do it?" Hilde asked. "I need all of the details since he most likely won't tell Duo."
As Relena began recounting the events of the proposal, Dorothy couldn't help but feel something nagging in the back of her mind. She certainly had no plans of settling down and starting a family of her own. Such a life was fine if that was the sort of thing one longed for, but even as a child she had rarely thought of it. Most girls grow up playing with their dolls, marrying them off or playing house with their baby dolls. Dorothy grew up differently. She rode horses and played chess. She learned how to fence and think up complex strategies. Running a fashion empire was the sort of thing she trained for. Being a leader. Being a mother was not and starting a family was never something she gave any real thought to.
Her current arrangement with Trowa was as casual as it was mutually beneficial. They both gave exactly the same as they received with little to no thought beyond what their next encounter may hold. Although, she hadn't really seen anyone besides him since. He habit of taking a new boy toy out to every other occasion stopped, although she failed to recall exactly when. How long had she and Trowa been doing this? Anymore, whenever an occasion called for a plus one, Trowa was the one by her side. If he could not go, she simply went stag and teased every eligible man at whatever event she attended. Trowa was a dependable companion willing on most occasions to step up and she was more than willing to reward him for such efforts. Still… there were times… fleeting moments… where she felt… something more.
Nothing strong or permanent. Just… more. When he slept, and that half smile would curl on the corner of his lips he looked so sweet and peaceful. When he held her in his strong arms after they made love and she felt the rise and fall of his warm chest against her back… there was a sense of peace she received from those quiet moments. A sense of… belonging. And that disturbed her. She didn't want to belong to anyone. That was not the purpose of their arrangement. But the longer she was with him, the more she began to relax and confide in him...
"My grandfather never let me cry." She told him as they lay in his bed.
"Hm?"
"You said once how sad it was that I couldn't cry." She looked at him. "It isn't that I can't. I simply don't really know how… or I didn't." She offered him a small smile. "And then that day on Libra, after you and Quatre left, I cried. And I couldn't understand why."
"You did just stab someone." She shook her head.
"It wasn't that." She met his eyes. "It took me a while to figure out what it was about what you said that caused me to cry." She ran a gentle finger up and down his arm. "And then I realized… it was the fact that you pitied me." He raised a brow. "For the first time in my life, someone seemed to care about my mental state… to notice that I couldn't cry… and it confused and angered me. I'd never been pitied before." For a long moment he was quiet, then his eyes met hers in a soft gaze.
"Dorothy…" he shifted and caressed her cheek. "You and I aren't so different."
"What?"
"We both went through life feeling like we didn't matter to anyone… doing what we had to do. Tears and pity were useless in our minds. Even for ourselves." The tender look in his eyes held something that warmed her.
"Trowa…"
"Someday, perhaps we can both find a way to change that."
"Why would we want to do that?" He smirked and leaned down, claiming her lips with his, ending their conversation.
"What do you think, Dorothy?" Hilde's sudden mention of her name brought her out of her thoughts.
"About what?" She tried to play it off simply as though she didn't care what they were discussing.
"Do you think you will ever enter into domestic bliss?" Dorothy fought the urge to frown in irritation. The tone Sylvia used had a mocking ring to it. She formed the sweetest smile she could and looked at all three women.
"I should hope not." The blank looks of disbelief she received made her smile. "Doing so would mean I'd taken complete leave of my senses!" Hilde and Sylvia took turns looking at each other, Relena, and Dorothy before excusing themselves.
"I promised Duo I'd bring him a pumpkin muffin and a coffee." Hilde said before hugging Relena.
"And I need to see to arrangements for Quatre's business dinner." She, too, hugged Relena. Final Congratulations were offered on her engagement before both women left. Dorothy felt rather satisfied at having run them both off so effortlessly. Unfortunately, the young Foreign Minister was not as pleased as was evident by the glare.
"What?"
"Really, Dorothy. You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"
"I don't know to what you are referring."
"Must you tease them like that?"
"Is it my fault that they have no sense of humor?" Relena shook her head.
"Dorothy, really!"
"What?"
"They were trying to find a way to include you. You seemed disinterested in the conversation and you weren't talking much so they were trying to bring you in on it."
"I don't see why." Dorothy scoffed. "It's no secret that neither of them likes me. I wouldn't have been bothered at all if they had left me out of it."
"And I don't believe that for a moment!" Relena frowned and leaned forward.
"Believe what you will." She took a sip of her chai tea. "The topics of love and family life are fine and well for other people but I find little interest in it myself."
"So you're saying you never want to get married? To have a family?" Dorothy couldn't help but laugh.
"Relena, be honest, can you see me as the motherly type? The dutiful wife and PTO parent?" Relena frowned, brow wrinkling in the center, eyes softening. "That's the sort of life women like you dream of. I'm simply not the kind of woman who does those sorts of things."
"And what about Trowa?" Dorothy paused.
"What about him?"
"How does he feel about it all? Does he want a family?"
"What should I care about that?" Dorothy tried to hide it, but Relena's question had hit her. "Trowa is his own man. Our arrangement is strictly platonic. Friends with benefits and nothing more. He knows this."
"But is that what he really wants? What you really want? Have you discussed it?"
"Trowa and I have a mutual understanding, Relena. We have no need to even bring such things up to be discussed."
"I just don't want to see either of you hurt." Relena pressed again. This time, Dorothy felt a crack form in her composure.
"Whatever is or is not between Trowa and I is exactly that. Between us. And we are perfectly capable of managing things on our own."
"I didn't mean to upset you."
"Oh pish, Relena. I'm not upset. Irritated, perhaps, but not upset." Dorothy stood and grabbed her handbag. She noticed the concerned expression on the younger woman's face and paused. She realized that Relena's words came, not from judgment, but a genuine sense of concern. She softened her expression and her voice to respond. "I do thank you… for your concern. I'm not used to having people care enough to voice an opinion like that."
"Well, I do. You're my friend Dorothy. And so is he. And I only want you both to be happy."
"I know." Dorothy reached out and squeezed her hand gently. It was strange to realize people care. Truly cared. About her. She offered Relena another smile. "I forgot to congratulate you on your engagement. I'm glad that man finally realized what an absolute treasure you are. He had better never forget it."
"Thank you, Dorothy." The two parted ways but Dorothy could not forget what Relena said.
Was Trowa the marrying kind? If so, then their relationship could be a problem should he wish to truly find that special someone. As she drove back to her office, she couldn't stop thinking about it. Relena had a point. She and Trowa were from two very different worlds. Two different lifestyles.
"Even if we…" she stopped herself but the thought continued. If something more somehow developed between them, there was no way they could make it work. He deserved the chance; the option to find someone to spend his life with and she had no intention of getting in the way. They needed to discuss the inevitability of a change in their romantic statuses. If he were to try to find a wife, then she could not, in good conscience, allow their arrangement to continue.
