Author's Note: The following contains manipulation, mental abuse and descriptions of mental health disorders.
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Vissna woke up feeling incredible. She yawned and stretched then sat up in bed to find her favorite Mandalorian leaning against the ship's wall opposite her, watching. He didn't let her speak before blurting out, "Care to explain what happened back there? Why didn't you stop?" He asked.
She shook her head confused, still yawning. She climbed out of bed, her feet were still in their boots. That's odd, she thought, she didn't sleep in boots. She made her way to the ship's small bathroom. She felt like she could really use a sink. Actually she wanted a bath, but a sink will do for now. She looked in the small mirror and saw her blood stained cheeks. She touched the mirror and gasped, finally grasping what the Mandalorian was saying. Then she spun back around to the Din.
"Wilt," she muttered. "What were we doing before this?" She asked. He didn't speak. "What did we do just now? Before I fell asleep?" She demanded.
He stared at her for a long time, not answering. He felt like he was breaking in places he didn't know existed. He lost what very little trust he had ever had in her. And now she was playing stupid with him and he was quickly losing his patience. Behind his helmet his eyes were narrow, glaring. Vissna could feel it, feel his anger, hatred even, in her.
"You're afraid of me now," she said.
He sneered, "no," but he wasn't sure he believed his answer.
She took a few cautious steps towards him, her boots sticking to the floor as she walked. She must have stepped in something… viscose… blood. As she approached, Din pushed off against the wall, taking a less relaxed and more defensive stance. He rose to his full height which was a good foot taller than hers.
"Where's the kid?" She asked. She held her hand up to Din's face, wanting to touch his cheek under his helmet. Din grabbed it and crushed her wrist hard, probably breaking it, but Vissna didn't even flinch. She couldn't feel it. She must have killed a lot of people for that kind of power. She was pleased with herself. However, she was flawed, she had training to complete. She couldn't stop from passing out after each wilting. Vissna reached up with her other hand, Din took that one too, not gripping it with as much ferocity. "I want to know what happened, that's all," she said.
"And I have to protect Grogu." Din said plainly.
Vissna understood what this was about. She had some mending to do with their relationship or she'd lose the Mandalorian for good, and the kid along with him. "I can't control it," she admitted.
"No shit," he said.
"Grogu won't have the same powers I do, his influence on the force is different from mine. You don't have to worry about him. My gift is rare." she said.
"Not sure I'd call that a gift. And I know the kid will be fine, he has me to protect him," Din said bitterly. Grogu would never do that, he thought, even if he had the same abilities, he just wouldn't.
"That doesn't mean he won't kill people under the right circumstance," she said, she could tell in saying that, she angered him. "You disagree?"
"Grogu is not a killer," he sneered.
"I didn't say he was? You're the killer," she smirked but he wasn't in a playful mood. "But he would kill under the right circumstances, to protect someone he loves." She implied that would be him.
"I don't kill like you do," he grunted.
"Ah. So you don't condone my methods? You're better than me because you have a creed well I have a creed too. It just looks different then yours. And clearly because it's different it's not as good," she mocked.
"That's not what I said," he grunted.
Vissna paused, reading his thoughts. "Monster? You think I'm a monster?" She yanked her wrists out of Din's hands hard.
"How many times in the past have you done… that.. thing?" He asked not actually wanting to know, only trying to prove his point.
"Not nearly as many times as I will in the future," she sneered.
"You are a monster." He said.
"It depends on where you stand I supposed," she said, rubbing her wrists, "to the Jedi I am a monster, one that must be destroyed. And yet weren't the Jedi the ones who created hundreds of lives only to have them fight and die for them in battle? Your friend Boba might know something about that. But of course I'm the monster."
Din huffed, "you can't justify your killings."
She shook her head, "no one is innocent. A Jedi child will grow up to kill in the name of peace. Killing a Jedi child saves hundreds of lives. It's all a matter of perspective."
Din raised his blaster to her head. "Grogu is a Jedi child," he spat.
"Not any more," she reminded him, "the Jedi don't want him. He's currently nothing." But his blaster didn't lower. "You don't know the sacrifices I've made to survive. You don't see the measures I take daily to restrain myself. My self-inflicted punishments, picking fights only to purposely lose them. You point your finger at me and cry monster but you can't face your own darkness. That's why the Darksaber resists you. You think you're so gallant and devout. Look into your past, see the pain you've caused, and accept that's who you are."
"You're wrong!" Din seethed with rage.
She wasn't getting anywhere with him. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready for his truth let alone hers. She had to correct this quickly or risk losing him and her apprentice forever. She would have to make this go away. She raised her hand towards his mind, inserting a memory of hers into his head, in its place, she took his memory of her wilting in the fighting den. He wasn't ready to see her like this.
The new memory of her made him lower his blaster. It's hard to point a blaster at someone who had faced so much trauma so young. Especially when he had a hand in giving her that childhood. In selling her into slavery to be raped, beaten, starved and abused. Someone should have killed her then, it would have been a mercy. Then, she allowed him one glance at the beast inside her, her first wilting. She was unleashed upon her captors, and then, the giving of her Sith name, Vissna. After that Din was very kind to her. Because it's more acceptable to have knowledge of a struggling abused child then to try and palate the "monster" -as he had put it- the child would become. It was better that he didn't know the whole truth. Not yet.
Vissna did learn something about herself with that memory she took from Din. When the lives had all ended, the wilting stopped. Interesting. If she learned to control how long it took to end lives during the wilting, she might be able to remain conscious the entire time. Or perhaps she needed Din at her side during the wilting to help her remain in control, killing them himself if he needed to. But he wasn't ready to see her like that again.
Din came to her with a wet cloth and wiped the blood off her face. Vissna had made certain he knew they had just survived a fight together, however the entire thing was hazy at best. He couldn't pick out any details. He only knew they got out safely and he was glad Grogu wasn't there with them.
"You look bothered," Din said. "Are you, okay?"
Vissna thought about what he had said to her. Calling her a monster. "I was just thinking… about," she sighed, "never mind."
"Thank you," Din said.
"Hmm?" She asked.
"Thank you for trusting me with your past, I know that wasn't easy for you," He said.
She nodded. She needed him to feel closer to her, trust her. She watched as he took off his glove and held her face in one hand, stroking her cheek. Her breath became heavy and uneven. She was sure this is when they'd kiss, had a thick plate of Beskar not been between them.
"I would never let anything like that happen to you again," he said.
Neither would she, she thought, "I've been waiting for someone like you."
"Why me?" He asked.
"I think you have what it takes to survive me," she smirked.
Din knew it wasn't perfect, that this was probably a mistake, but he was willing to take the consequences. When it was only he and Vissna alone together, it felt like nothing else mattered. As if nothing else in the galaxy existed except their passion for each other.
"Lie to me, and tell me you want me," she breathed.
She gazed into his helmet wishing she could see his eyes. The connection she had felt right now to him, through his emotions, felt so strong. He waited, not responding. Just stroking her cheek, then he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her close to him.
"I would never lie to you," he said.
"Is that a promise?" She teased.
"I give you my word," he said.
Vissna's heart beat faster. She slipped her hand into the front of his helmet and he let her. The happiness this moment seemed to bring her warmed him. He wanted to have more moments like this, where he was to one to make her feel this way. She traced his lips with two fingers, her mouth open and wanting, her eyes full of lust for him. As she played with his lips, she noticed they were softer than she imagined and not dry. She bet he tasted so good. Din opened his mouth and Vissna stuck her two fingers inside his mouth. She whimpered when he started sucking on them.
This is your Vissna, Din, she thought. The one from your dreams, the one who teases you but follows through to save your friends, the Vissna who shares her past and forgives you for your part in it. That's me, Din, and nothing else. I'm only exactly the person you've always wanted but never knew you could have.
Din then took her arms above her head and took her against the ship's wall, pinning her, her feet not touching the ground. He supported her with his pelvis, pushing his bulge into her crotch. Oh. My. Stars. She did it, she thought, she won. This was it!
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