Somehow being in a room without him in it meant that she was allowed to show weakness, a weakness which she felt guilty for having. The tears soaked her pillow as Peter snored softly beside her unaware of his girlfriend's inner turmoil. She didnt care that he didnt know, in a way it was a blessing in disguise because if he did know the further over that succumbing edge he would go and therefore she would have to have that guilt on her conscience and thats something she didn't want. Automatically she knew it was better for her to suffer instead of him after all she wasnt one drink away from death. Sliding out of bed roused him slightly, she worked so hard on wiping her eyes and making herself presentable but Peter pulled her into his body, they bodies pressed together causing her to bite her lip at the fact he was nuzzling into her neck and drowsily reaching up under her nightgown, she sighed in realisation where this was going as well as relief that her sobs were silent. Somehow the quicker he moved, the quicker her tears dried out and with only the moonlight providing a glow around the room her dishevelled state went unnoticed and Peter immediately pushed into her, her back arching.

"Are you ok?" he questions nuzzling into her neck, she gulps slightly and nods as he moves swiftly in and out of her

"Pe'er" she whispers breathlessly unsure if that was her pleas for him to stop or him continuing, she decided to go for the latter

"I'm so sorry baby" he cups her cheek as they move together trying to be as quiet as they could with Johnny and Jenny in the room next door

"It's ok" she pushes down the sob which threatened to emit from her lips as she lets her body succumb to the pleasure he was providing it

"I'll never forgive myself for all the things I said to you"

She thought about those words for a while and realised if he was allowed to beat himself up about those words which somehow now felt inferior even if replaying them in her head hurt her to the extent it made her guilt fill that little bit more tolerable, she painted on a smile and cupped his head in the soft palms of her hand and kissed his before head before kissing him on the tip of her nose. Her means of forgiveness so he was protected and so that he could move on as she genuinely thought she didn't deserve to move on herself.

"Peter I forgive you," she says quietly, he looks into her eyes which confirmed it all; she actually did forgive him

"I dont deserve that and I would understand-"

"Peter, I forgive you, thats all that matters now" but she didnt forgive herself for what she did and if it came out there would be no coming back for them she was sure of it

"Thank you" he cups her cheek and presses his lips to hers, she returns his kiss before sliding out of bed, he sighs slightly wondering if they could really just forgive each other like that…


Breakfast wasnt appealing but she found herself wolfing down the food just to make a point that everything was ok even though nausea brewed in the bottom of her stomach down to the guilt. They talked quietly over things just about general things and that was when Peter suggested that they did something together, he noticed her visually pause on eating her porridge covered in a thick consistency of honey and contemplate it but he knew she would decline, he just had that feeling and she did saying that she needed to get off to work and then with the compromise they did something together that evening. He had jumped the gun to accept wanting to put right the mistakes he had done and Carla could see that but unfortunately for her, there was no putting right what she did unbeknownst to him and it hurt to see the effort he was going to try and make this right knowing she couldnt do anything to help the situation she was in personally.

"Everything ok?" Sarah asks, Carla looks up at her with a small smile and nods "You seem overly quiet, did the conference go ok?"

"Yes" she responds abruptly not wanting to bring that up afraid of what she might say "It was fine, the average conference"

"Right…" Sarah trails off as Nick enters the office, he glances to Carla who diverts her gaze not wanting to get caught up in what would be another Platt family drama, oh no she had been in way too many of those

"I was wondering if I could speak to Carla?" Nick questions, Carla looks up from her work with a small smile "In private Sarah"

"I thought you were meant to be trusting me-"

"It's about Simon" he responds, Sarah bites her lip and leaves the office, Nick shuts the door and sits opposite Carla

"Where did you get off to last night?"

"What?" she questions confused "I went to that conference you didnt want Sarah going to remember? The one where you were like, Sarah isnt qualified enough so basically babysit her, yeah that one Nick"

"What's got you in a mood, Peter is it?"

"You never know when to wind your neck in do you?" she raises her eyebrows showing a disapproving look "Mind you...you seemed cosy at the-"

"Ok enough of that" he cuts in as Carla smirks folding her arms against her chest and leaning back against her chair

"Truth hurts" she bites her lip "Now stop pecking my head otherwise I might call Leanne here and we can have a little chat-"

"Carla I mean it"

"Or what? You'll fire me?" she questions watching him contemplate it "Hmm, either way, I can still spill to Leanne and I think you need me, Nick"

"I dont need you" he scoffs, she raises her eyebrows

"More qualified than your sister, I think you'd be pretty stuck without me" she comments, he sighs and rubs his forehead "I won't way anything"

"Yeah because it would go down so well with Peter wouldnt it-"

"Nick, calm down" she smirks slightly as Sarah enters the room "I'm glad you were pleased with my work at the conference anyway shouldn't you be getting off to see Leanne?"

"This isnt over" he whispers barely audible "I'll see you soon"

"Everything ok?" Sarah asks, Carla shrugs "Poor Nick, everything with Olive eh?"

"Yeah" she comments dropping her gaze to her work before sighing, her phone flashes so she picks it up "Oh god no…"

"What?"

"It's Peter, he's getting cravings you know, I need to go will you be-"

"I'll be fine you go" Sarah reassures her watching her collect her stuff and rush out the room somewhat happy with being trusted for once…


Carla rushed home unable to figure out what was going on with Peter on the way there. She knew he was in a dark place right now, teetering on that edge of giving in to his alcoholism once more and she still felt guilty. It was like she was on a blind adventure back, she was more obsessed with getting back home to help him as she felt as if she owed it to him especially after what she had done. Walking into the backroom she frowned in confusion at Peter sitting there at her laptop with a look about him which made her slightly uneasy especially the way he was looking her up and down and examining her in a way that made her feel uncomfortable and rather naked in front of him.

"Are you ok?" she questions holding her phone up at him gesturing to the SOS message he sent her

"Why did you lie?"

"About what?"

"Stop lying!" he exclaims tearfully, she frowns trying to keep up the facade not wanting him to think too much about it but inside she was scared of the possible truths which could come out

"Peter you need to speak to me"

"Your laptop was pinging emails constantly," he says quietly, she frowns slightly with a chuckle wondering why he got so het up about that "You're obviously popular so I checked them"

"Ok?" she frowns breathing out a withheld breath not really knowing where this conversation was going

"The hotel you stayed at last night emailed you"

"About the hotel bill or the extras for the room?" she questions blankly unsure or what they would want to contact her about or maybe this was just her acting dumb because maybe inside she knew what this was about

"They were wondering if you knew the group of guys contact numbers as one of them left their phone there, one of them also left their wallet there as well"

"Why would I know them?" she chuckles once more confused about his insinuations "It was some random business contact, you know what I'm like Peter whenever some sleazy businessman give me their business card I either tear it up out of sight of just drop it on the floor; why would I know their contact details?"

"You were all-forgiving of me last night," he says suspiciously, she sighs slightly closing her eyes "Ever since I remembered saying those words to you I've wondered how you could forgive me because of the awful things I said unless of course, you've done something worse-"

"I dont know what you're on about-"

"Carla" he bends down in front of her softly, taking her hands in his, she tries her best to avoid his gaze in a way which was not suspicious but under his gaze, she was melting "Speak to me about what happened at the hotel"

"I…" she trails off unable to find an excuse

"Did you sleep with someone at that hotel?" he asks gently

She bites her lip trying to control the tears but somehow with Peter asking her that, she was crumbling. Maybe he was trying to catch her out and as awful as it sounded she knew he would use this as another method to succumb to his addiction and she didn't want that but the more she thought about the situation she was in, she kind of understood that maybe telling him meant that she would be able to nip it in the bud with him but somehow her instincts were to lie.

"I dont know what you want me to say"

"Carla who was it?"

"You're barking up the wrong tree" she whispers trying to stop the tears from filling her eyes over her deceit and thats when it hit Peter

"Baby look at me"

God, she hated it when he used her pet name in an attempt to coax information out of her but now she knew it was time to be honest, time to be truthful about everything no matter the consequences as deep down she knew she was digging herself a bigger hole, bigger than the sinkhole in the Platt's back garden, yet another Platt family drama she had heard from Sarah and Nick.

"I'm sorry" she whispers looking up at him, he squeezes her hands as the tears fall down her face as well as his "I wanted to hurt you for all the things you said to me, I'm so sorry Peter, I know its no excuse but I just wanted to feel something other than hurt and...it was a distraction"

"What was his name?"

"I dont know"

"You dont know?"

"I really dont know," she says blankly unable to muster up what went on the night before "I was blackout drunk, we both were but it happened, I know it did and…"

"I need some air-"

"Peter please!" she calls watching him grab his coat and leave the pub, she wipes her eyes still in disbelief at what she had done…


Somehow watching the bottle of golden liquid goading him made him feel more complete than he had been before. He couldn't believe what had happened but there was some relief there and that was alleviating her guilt because he knew something was eating her up since being at that conference and it was without a doubt the fact she cheated on him with some random bloke in some poncey suit and tie. Peter felt sorry for Carla which was odd when all he had been doing was feeling sorry for himself but yet again the torturous demon of self-loathing was probably sleeping today, maybe he had done enough of that recently? It was strangely odd how these two situations felt the same, the way he demolished her facade the other night saying all the things he did and hurting her and the thought of her becoming ill again because of the harsh words he said that stung as she was definitely much weaker than she was before but for her, it was the same as well. She had a decision to make and Peter knew it had probably been tearing her apart whether to cause more hurt to him who was delicate as well and cause him to succumb to the booze because he hurt her. The whole thing was a mess.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Daniel almost shrieks bending down in front of Peter who unscrews the bottle

"Carla"

"What about Carla?" Adam questions slightly

"She cheated on me last night at that hotel business conference didnt she all because of the things I said to her"

"I'm sure whatever Carla did it doesn't take away from the fact she loves you, how do you even know anyway?"

"The hotel emailed her laptop didnt it the blasted thing wouldnt stop pinging away and then I open it to find out she was with a group of businessmen each of them leaving their stuff behind as if it's some game of glorified Cluedo, trust me when I find out who it is-"

"How about we work on getting this bottle out of those hands of yours?" Adam suggests trying to dampen his anger and calm him down, he watches Daniel pry the bottle out of his hands "Just speak to Carla"

"Speak?"

"Yeah, you know the mature thing grownups do?" Daniel tries to lighten the mood but Peter still looked sad "Just speak to her just tell her how you really feel honestly then she will tell you how she felt, you two have been through so much dont let some stupid mistake ruin it"

"I guess" Peter grumbles standing to his feet, Adam and Daniel offer sympathetic smiles "Thanks"


As soon as he walked through the door Carla sighed in relief as Peter looked sober and soon the sobs overtook her body. His instinct was to hold her which he did and comfort her knowing her mistake stemmed from the words he said but unfortunately he didnt know if she felt safe in his arms anymore, he didnt really know anything all he needed to do was focus on her, on them. Gently he lifted her up into his arms, she wrapped her legs around his body and cried into his shoulder whilst he sat down on the armchair just rubbing his hands up and down her back listening to her heartbroken sobs which broke him internally at how much she had probably been bottling this whole thing up ever since he relapsed.

"It's ok" he soothes her the best he could, she looks up at him and he immediately reaches to wipe her tears "I'm so sorry"

"Peter" she whispers quietly shaking her head "We were both in the wrong and I dont know what to do for once in my life I dont know what to do anymore or where to go from here?"

"I'll be there" he assures her, she looks up into his eyes

"I've done the worst possible thing Peter, the worst" she shakes her head "I dont know if I can put you through that as you are so delicate right now even if you dont want to admit it I know you are"

"Carla I want you, it's always been you, been us. I'm not letting some mistake with some businessman ruin our chances, no way because he's nothing, whoever he is he is nothing because he's not us, he's not in our lives"

"You dont have to do this"

"We can do this" he reassures her, she looks into his eyes and their lips collide passionately, her hands moving to his hair before pulling away "You're my world Carla, you and Si you're my world"

"And you're my world too" she reassures him looking into his eyes to mark her sincerity "But where do we go from here Peter?"

"We live each day as it comes and from now on we be honest, find time to spend with each other even if it is just in here and not out in the world. We should start going on dates communicating and just talking about everyday things, our lives"

"And it's that easy is it?"

"It's worth a try. I want this to work Carla, do you?"

"I do" she confirms "I really do and I will never forgive myself for this, never"

"And I will never forgive myself for the words I said to you" he rests his forehead against hers letting out a gentle hum "I love you, Carla Connor"

"I love you too Peter Barlow"