Story: Melancholia Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: Sorry it's been so long AGAIN! I've actually been moving to a different house so I haven't had time for writing much of anything.

(REPLIES TO REVIEWS):

LordAries34 chapter 9 . May 20

Jesus that opening note is just too long have lost interest entirely

A: Um… Okay? Nobody asked you to read the opening note? That's for people who left reviews lol.

Shippingshoujo chapter 9 . May 28

I like this story a lot! You have beautifully portrayed the characters and their emotions, ideals and beliefs. I adore how this story focuses on the feelings on Team 7 and how they acknowledge each other as family. You have also justly described Team 7's reaction to Naruto's self-harm and described Sasuke as someone who truly cares for his comrades (Which I liked very much by the way :D). I appreciate the fact that you didn't write off Sakura as someone whose thoughts where only revolving around Sasuke , but instead you have truly explored her potential and brought out the best in her. I too love love love NaruSaku :D. I don't know about you, but I think you have rocked the "parental" Kakashi stuff (Considering the fact that Kakashi didn't have any permanent parental figure growing up , I'd say you have done awesome :D)

I like KibaXHinata (They really are super cute *w*) I wonder who Sasuke is gonna end up with? Oh and is he gonna betray his village? (He now wants to protect Naruto right? I would love to see Sasuke staying in Konoha..)

Anyways, I hope you and your family are doing good and staying safe :D I really hope that you would continue this story and I am really looking forward for more NaruSaku fluff and redempted Sasuke from you!

(Excuse me for my terrible English)

A: Your english is fine! And I do indeed planning on having Sasuke stay in Konoha for the sake of this story, but I might have other plans in mind on top of this!

And I always hate when people portray Sasuke as nothing but an asshole, forgetting he was a traumatized 12 year old at this time who saw his entire family get slaughter in front of him a fuckton of times in a row due to Itachi's mangekyou(no hate to Itachi). He's a normal kid, that had a terrible past and while he made some mistakes, I think a lot of the characters did. And same thing with Sakura, people often write her off as nothing but a bitch and it annoys me to no end, because she legitimately has so many really sweet moments where she shows just how caring she is. She has so much potential to be a genuinely supportive character in fanfiction and I wish more people would write her as such!

And I completely agree! NaruSaku and KibaHina are adorable. Kiba actually strikes me as being a little like Hak from Yona of The Dawn, so I could totally see a joke scene where he calls her "princess" to tease her hahah.

Thank you for the kind review!

Rooney23505 chapter 9 . May 21

It was something really beautiful. As a fan of NaruSaku and you of course, it was really wonderful experience reading this chapter. Please continue it. I'll be waiting.️️

Glad you're enjoying it!

Sabastian Burlis chapter 9 . May 21

Awesome chapter! In my opinion I'm not really a big fan of Naruto and Hinata together. After watching the Anime, it just doesn't feel natural to me. She used to always stock him and stuff. I prefer other pairings like him and Sakura due to more history together. Being teammates and stuff. I also like other pairings like Naruto and Ino or Naruto and Temari or honestly anyone else. Anyway, great story so far. Keep up the good work!

A: Personally, I don't hate NaruHina, but I've always had a lot of fun writing and reading for pairings like NaruSaku, because as you said them being teammates, plus more screentime and I love their dynamic. Thanks!

Elsaxsl chapter 9 . May 23

Why not with the pairing ' And i wonder who will be the last to confess his problem.. sasuke or sakura... I know we'll see when we have to but this question stay in my mind TT

Good question, we'll just have to see hehehe.

Phoenixx Rising chapter 9 . May 25

Aww...I love how accepting they were, especially Sasuke's musings.

So the NaruSaku thing. I LOVE NaruSaku friendship, but pairing isn't my favorite. I just always liked that Naruto ended up with someone who saw him for who he was from the beginning that being said, this is your fic, and I'm fine with what you decide to do. I prefer NaruHina, but I don't dislike NaruSaku. As far as Hina pairing. The only person it bothers me to see her with is Sasuke. I'm not sure why. Maybe my Loyalty to Naruto And because Sasuke is his rival. Anyway, I just don't like to read love triangles cause someone always gets hurt, so I'd be happier if you avoided that.

But all that aside, this is your story and I'll be fine with your choice. I'm loving it either way.

A: I entirely respect your opinion and I'm very happy you respect mine! I'm not the author who has the heart to hurt characters too much when it comes to romance(shown by how I've been handling the entire NaruSaku thing). If there were to be a love triangle, it likely wouldn't be dwelled on too much cuz honestly my main focus for this is more on angst and team 7 bonding, not a lot of heartbreak simply because I'm too nice(then again, considering how much I put the characters through Idk how I can really say that oof!) And I'm not really a huge SasuHina shipper either myself. I very much respect the shippers, and I wouldn't mind incorporating some interactions in this for them, I'll probably HAVE to for certain scenes, but I'll decidedly keep it as friends.(sorry to any sh shippers following this! TwT)

heartbreakerninja chapter 9 . Jun 26

Yayaya hugs for Naruto! So glad to see an update! Now Sasuke needs a hug lol

A: Glad you liked it! And yes, there are plenty of hugs for Team 7 coming up!

Jorge Luis Arias Arcentales chapter 9 . May 19

... And I came to know that you publish a chapter now... 10 days later...

It's too bad that my cell phone is damaged. On the other hand, I'm glad you came back, very good chapter, in fact I think I shed manly tears when Sakura connected the dots remembering how everyone treated Naruto

I like NaruSaku but also NaruHina... of the small hinata, of course. I think the NaruHina of the Shippuden did not develop very much and it was a shame. On the other hand, I did not like the NaruHina from the movie "The Last" and from Boruto, it's very poorly founded and it is even forced. What do you think about it?

Answering to the Hinata's thing, I think it would be nice to see a love triangle between Naruto, Sakura and Hinata, because naruto has no experience dealing with love and it would be interesting to see how all of that unfolds. Although I think it should be happen after Naruto can better deal with his situation... or at least after Sasuke or Sakura's situation is discovered.

A: Well, I'm personally on the fence about NaruHina. I can't say I hate it, I even think they had some cute moments, especially in part 1. But I could agree that their lack of screentime together is probably my only issue with it? I do think I want to develop them to have a really nice friendship in this though, so there's that. But I think I like NaruSaku a bit more cuz they have more screentime together and cuz they're both on Team 7(there are more reasons but I'd rather not get into it as I prefer not to start shipping wars and stuff). And I know that there are a lot of people who loved The Last, it had good stuff going for it, but I personally (just me) didn't really care much for it myself.

And as for the idea of a love triangle, I have considered it at least to SOME extent. But I don't want to put TOO much focus on the romance aspect in this story, because it is primarily focused on hurt/comfort and the like. Really appreciate the input. I may yet consider the ideas! ^^

Rey Bee chapter 9 . May 20

Ok. So, on one hand they don't really act like themselves in cannon, not entirely... But I like it. I wish they were like this. I wish team 7 had bonds so strong to forget stupid bickering, rivalry or fangirling for just a moment. It's good to see Sasuke and Sakura actually having a civil conversation. And it warms my heart how Kakashi thinks of Naruto, how he remembers he is his sensei's son, finally. That's one of the biggest lacks in cannon - that he treated Naruto like any other kid. I'm not saying he should have played favourites, it's just that honestly, Minato wasn't the Yondaime to Kakashi, he was first and foremost his sensei and probably a kind of a father figure. Now, treating a kid that would have most likely be calling him "nii-san" since the day he could speak like just any other... Well, ehm. No. Kakashi has been through a lot, but seeing how he treats his kids I can say he is not nearly enough devoid of emotions to be a non-sentimental jerk.

Thanks for sharing:)

Ahh yes, I always love to explore a more human aspect to the entire Team 7 dynamic, even if it's not shown in canon. Always love exploring Kakashi too, I have been dying as I write the Father figure!Kakashi stuff. I think some people forget that Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are just kids beneath it all, literally like 12 years old(which is where I first started dealing with a lot of my own issues), so I always want to delve into that. I feel like Kakashi is much more than some laid back sensei who doesn't give two fucks about his students as well, and it always irks me when people portray him in such a one dimensional manner!

Jorge Luis Arias Arcentales chapter 10 . Jul 24

That was a really relax chapter, but after the roller coaster of the past events, its was really needed.

I just can't wait them to finish the mission to see what will happen with all this.

A: Glad you enjoyed it! ^^

Phoenixx Rising chapter 10 . Jul 26

No worries! I hope you are staying safe and healthy. I liked the chapter. Poor emotionally stunted boys.

A: Doing my best, thanks! And I agree, they need all the healing they can get!

Upstart Psycho chapter 10 . Aug 24

I think the characters are very well-defined and distinct from each other, keeping in line with their canon counterparts. Sasuke has been the most jarring of the bunch, only because I don't remember ever getting a look at any kinda doubt in him in the series. But you've planted those seeds in him well here. The dialogue could be more organic in its flow, but it works. Team 7 sound their age, as does Kakashi.

There are a few grammar bits here and there that could use tuning, but it isn't anything glaring. I suggest making less use of the dot-dot-dot in lieu of describing the pause you wish to place there or breaking the dialogue with a narration to punctuate a pause. Keep going! This is an excellent fluff piece where there's no character bashing and treats everyone like a person with their own struggles and demons.

I eagerly await your next chapter! 3

A: Thank you very much for the suggestions! I'll consider this in the future! And yes, Sasuke has been a very tricky character to write, but he says himself in his battle with Naruto that being on Team 7 scared him, because his bond with them made him feel vulnerable to some extent and reminded him of his family. In the manga, Sasuke thought of Naruto and Sakura a lot before he left the village. I think while it's true that it wasn't really explored in much detail, Sasuke probably did feel a lot of confliction and it's understandable why. But I suppose this is my interpretation of Sasuke even though I am trying to keep him as close to canon without him turning traitor (considering the point of the story this is at, in canon Sasuke would have already left by now, but it was also only because of the sound ninja showing up at a point of vulnerability for him that he left). Trying my best to consider the possibilities.

Elsaxsl chapter 10 . Jul 20

ooh thanks for the new chapter and that's alright with the situation in the world right now its normal to have other things to do or think than write :) ! Take care of you and i hope your family will be alright ! :)

A: Yes we are trying our best, thank you! :D

ONTO THE STORY

...

By the end of the morning, Kakashi, after discussing the matter with Naruto, who assured him he was completely fine, decided it was probably best to head out again. He reluctantly gave him back his weapon holster, but not before giving him one single plea:

"Naruto, listen to me… You have to promise me that while we're out here, if you feel the need to hurt yourself again, you'll come to me first, okay?"

Naruto, who had the self-proclaimed motto to never go back on his word, naturally didn't want to make such a promise, because, honestly, he didn't think he would be able to keep it. Talking about his feelings had never been in his strong suit, sure, but that was easy in comparison to actually stepping out of his comfort zone and coming to somebody else for help. And Naruto made that clear, when he said he would try.

Kakashi didn't like it, but he decided it was better than nothing, and he would just have to accept it until they got back to the village.

"Um… Saburo-san….?" Sakura hoped she wasn't intruding. But when Saburo looked up at her, she figured maybe it was okay to continue. "I don't think you've said anything to us the whole time we've been here. Is there something you're afraid of...?"

Saburo looked away and Izumi took the initiative to speak up for him.

"Saburo doesn't talk…" he said. "He can't... not after the incident."

"What incident...?" Sasuke, who was standing next to Sakura, inquired, his interest peaked. He knew it probably wasn't something he should ask, but curiosity got the best of him.

Izumi was hesitant for a moment, but decided to answer his question.

"The port we're headed to… It's not actually our original home..." He explained, a downcast look in his eyes. "We're actually from a village far away from here. I doubt you've heard of it, but it was a mining town down near the border of Iwagakure, called Sankohaba… We sold coal and numerous other minerals. Some thugs got wind of it and came and ransacked the village one night. All of our buildings were set on fire, and our parents and numerous others were killed, we were two of the only survivors. After that, Saburo stopped speaking and me…? I never wanna go back there again… I'm sure you understand…"

Sasuke looked away. He did understand, all to well, what it was like to lose everything in a single night.

"Don't you want revenge, for what happened...?" He murmured.

"No…" Izumi shook his head, surprising the others, especially Sasuke. "Well, don't get me wrong. I don't really think I would let the bastards who did it get off scott free if I came into contact with them, in fact I probably would try to kill them... but... I guess didn't want to continue living in the past, which was exactly why we left. If we'd stayed, the hatred and the bitterness… it would have consumed us… If I lived for revenge, I wouldn't be able to live out my life to its fullest. Sometimes, you just have to let go and move on, despite how hard it may be. And I mean… And we have each other still, so it's better than nothing..."

"I see…" Sasuke thought about it.

Without thinking, Sakura reached out and grabbed his hand in a comforting manner, recognizing the look on his face. She knew about his clan, about his desire for revenge against his brother. How Itachi had killed his entire family and left Sasuke alone as a child.

More than anything, She just wanted him to know that he didn't have to face it by himself, that he had people who cared about him.

"You and I both have found precious friends, haven't we?"

Kakashi's past words echoed in his head, making him ponder it.

As much as he hated to admit it, he was right…

He still had Sakura and Naruto, and Kakashi too. It wasn't like he was entirely alone. Yet the idea of letting go of any of his pent up rage also scared him, terrified him, his brother's voice calling him a coward and weak as always.

He felt nauseated, but he didn't pull his hand away, downdeep feeling comfort in Sakura's touch.

From behind them, Kakashi watched them, smiling a bit.

...

For the next five hours, not much else was said, and their travels went fairly smoothly, although Naruto was becoming noticeably more and more anxious and antsy, before he finally burst out yelling.

"Dammit, I can't take this anymore…! How much longer until we get to the next town? I'm getting sick and tired of all this walking!" He growled. He never had been the patient type.

"We have been on the road for quite a while…" Sasuke somehow found himself agreeing, but didn't voice it.

"Naruto's right for once… I'm so tired..." Sakura thought, exasperated. Maybe it was the heat.

Then again, she hadn't really had the best night of sleep last night.

"Try to calm down, Naruto." Kakashi patted him. "It's probably going to be another hour yet before we reach the next town, but you shouldn't worry so much. We'll be there before you know it."

"He's right, Naruto." Sakura smiled. "We've already been walking for over five hours, one more should be nothing for us."

"R-Right! Yeah! We can totally take this, ya know!" Naruto grinned, pumping his fist, but deep down he was still uncertain in his own voice. Didn't like Kakashi's response at all. He was nervous, fidgety, and worst of all his arms were itching, anxiety creeping up as strong as ever.

Why the hell did enemies choose now not to attack? Just one lousy villain, that's all he asked for. Somebody he could fight with and let off some steam on. But luck would never be on his side about this. Briefly, he considered picking a fight with Sasuke for the hell of it, but quickly decided against it. Sakura and Kakashi wouldn't be happy with him at all for such a thing, and as much as he hated to admit it, he'd probably lose fairly quickly anyway, considering how weak he was feeling.

That's when the idea suddenly popped in his head.

Maybe he could convince Kakashi to let him walk off in the ruse of pissing. Just a couple cuts were all he needed. Just a little bit of blood to get him through the rest of the day.

Nobody would notice a thing!

"But first... Kakashi-sensei…? I um... kind of need to take a leak." He said sheepishly, looking away.

"Hm… Alright, Naruto, but make it fast. We don't have all day." Kakashi said simply.

Naruto was quite frankly surprised, but hey, this worked out perfectly, and he couldn't be more grateful.

"Of course! Be right back!" Naruto said running off into the woods a ways, where he was no longer in their sight. He made haste to pull out his fix and lifted up the bandage wrap to where the other cuts were already healing. He created several lacerations, feeling satisfaction when blood came pouring out of them, dripping onto the ground. A familiar sense of euphoria hit him at the sight of the crimson liquid, and, feeling the sting, he was finally able to calm the nervousness in his chest. After a minute, however, he told himself he needed to hurry and forced himself to put the bandage wrap back in place and returned the kunai to its holster.

For a brief moment, he felt guilty, remembering how he had said he would try to come to Kakashi if he felt like hurting himself again, but they were on a mission right now and the others were there. He didn't want to be of any more trouble than he already had. And it was too late now.

Moments later, he returned to where the others were waiting for him, feeling more relaxed now than he had before leaving their sides.

"I'm back. That took a little bit longer than expected, but I really needed to let it out, ya know?" Naruto grinned. Normally, saying such a thing would have disgusted Sakura.

But judging by the look on her face, he didn't think she believed him. Kakashi or Sasuke either for that matter. Sasuke himself was obviously suspicious, but seeing as Saburo and Izumi were there, they chose not to mention anything.

Kakashi said. "Naruto..., can I talk to you alone...?"

"Hm? Sure, what's up?" Naruto asked, playing innocent, yet inside terrified because he realized Kakashi had probably caught on.

"You guys go on ahead. We'll catch up." Kakashi said, looking back at the others.

"A-Alright." Sakura said uncertainly. She and Sasuke looked like they wanted to protest, but left it up to Kakashi to take care of the matter.

After a bit, Naruto and Kakashi was left far behind and Kakashi finally looked at him.

"I can smell blood. Will you show me your arm…?" He immediately dredged the conversation, already having caught on.

"I…!" Naruto looked away guiltily. He tried to back away, but Kakashi was too quick and pulled his sleeve and bandage wrap back to see the fresh wounds

"W-Wait, Kakashi-sensei, this isn't what you think! Some of my wounds happened to reopen earlier, cuz I fell!" Naruto sputtered nervously, due to having been found out. Kakashi could easily tell it was a cover up.

"Don't lie to me. You swore that you would try to come to me if you felt the need to cut again, Naruto. We could have talked about it." Kakashi said in a saddened tone. "I wanted to believe I could trust you."

"I…! I'm really sorry… I just… I can't stand it. I always feel like anxiety is driving me crazy and I don't even know why anymore…!" Naruto choked out. "I didn't mean to make you mad, I just-"

"Naruto, calm down…" Kakashi cut him off, holding his fidgeting hands and kneeling down in front of him. "I'm not mad at you…"

Naruto looked up him, uncertainly, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears which tore Kakashi's heart to pieces. "But seeing you hurt yourself like this… It… really worries me. You're my student, I only want to help you. So can you please… just trust me for once?"

Naruto was silent for a moment, but nodded. "I can't make any promises, but I'll try, for real this time, ya know?"

"That's all I can ask..." Kakashi said giving his hands a small squeeze.

Without thinking, he suddenly hugged Kakashi around the neck, surprising the older man. "Thanks, Kakashi-sensei. I actually feel a little better now."

After a moment, Kakashi's expression softened and he decided Naruto needed this, returning the embrace, akin to a father embracing his child. Briefly, he brushed Naruto on the head.

"Don't mention it."

At long last, they finally reached the next town, which some kind of festival was apparently going on at and Kakashi decided that it would be best to stop for the evening, and once again, checked them into a hotel, which offered extensive dinner options.

Everybody had sat down at one of the tables with a plate of food except for Sakura. Even Sasuke had caved in enough to eat a riceball. It wasn't a lot, but Kakashi figured it was better than nothing.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, aren't you going to eat something?" Naruto asked her.

"Huh?" Sakura looked up before nervously brushing his concerns aside and ignoring her stomach. "Nah, I'm actually not really all that hungry. Besides, I'm supposed to be on a diet right now."

She'd already been stuffing her face with enough fattening foods as it was, ever since she left the village. Naruto was right, about how much she loved sweets. It kind of irked her. She never had this kind of problem at home, balancing her meals and dieting was always so easy, especially with her mother constantly reminding her of the importance of not eating too much less she put on weight, but when she was away on missions, the temptation to eat the most high-calorie foods there were always ended up consuming her and it caused her to pack on pounds. Honestly, she needed to exercise restraint, she told herself.

She'd told herself that same thing over and over again in fact yet something always happened and ruined it!

"Aren't you a little too young to be worrying about diets, Sakura?" Kakashi asked casually, raising an eyebrow. At some point he'd already finished his food, without them even seeing him do so.

"What? No way." Sakura shrugged. "You can never be too young to diet! Besides, it's only normal for a girl my age to want to stay in shape or else I'll just get fat. Heck, I already need to lose enough weight as it is."

Now this took everybody aback. Sakura…thought she was...?

"What d'ya mean, Sakura-chan? You're not fat." Naruto said after a moment of hesitance, not liking to hear her say such things about herself. Not that he ever judged heavier set people or thought badly of them. But what Sakura said just wasn't true.

"Just stop it, Naruto, there's really no need to be nice for my sake." Sakura scolded him.

"But I'm not!" Naruto insisted. "I mean it! You're the prettiest girl I know...!"

To be honest, Naruto hadn't intended to let that last part out, his mouth had just acted on its own, but it certainly wasn't a lie so he had no desire to take it back. Seriously, how could she not see in herself what he saw in her?

Sakura was surprised by his words, feeling her heart suddenly flutter by his compliment, but before she could respond, Sasuke added his own comment.

"Naruto's right…" he murmured, stopping her from retorting, as he looked away with a small blush of awkwardness. "You're perfectly normal..."

"Yeah! Yeah! What he said." Naruto grinned. "There's nothing wrong with you at all!"

"...You really… think so?" Sakura said with uncertainty as she looked down. It was no secret that she'd always had insecurities about her body.

"Of course!" Naruto assured her that he was being completely honest about his thoughts.

"I… Thanks, Naruto… You too, Sasuke-kun…" Sakura said in a low voice, flustered.

It didn't make her feel that much better, but she decided not to press it any further.

"Hey, don't mention it!" Naruto said.

"Yeah, it's no problem… You worry too much..." Sasuke reached over without really thinking about it, and softly flicked the side of her head. After a moment, he calmly got up. "I'm going to bed. Call me if you need anything."

"Um… I should probably go to bed too." Sakura said nervously after a moment, excusing herself as she got up.

Kakashi spoke up before she could leave, holding out an apple. "Sakura, I know you said you're not hungry, but maybe you should take an apple or something, just in case you change your mind."

"R-right." She said with a small smile, taking the fruit from him, before heading to her room.

When she entered the room, anxiety started to find its way to the pit of her stomach and she had half a mind to throw away the bright red apple. Instead, however, she chose to place it on the dresser, before turning to sit on her bed.

For some reason, she suddenly couldn't help but think about Mibuki, was probably fuming when she realized she was gone. Remembering how how mother had slapped her yesterday, and even the harsh manner in which she had grabbed her arm, the idea of going back home actually sort of scared her. Something in her wondered if she would do something far worse the next time she saw her. Mibuki had always had an issue with screaming at her, fussing at her over the littlest of things but that was the first time she'd really ever got physically aggressive. Needless to say, a part of her had been terrified.

Well, at least she had parents, she told herself. Naruto and Sasuke didn't even have that much. This was nothing.

Remembering Naruto and Sasuke, she recalled back over the course of the day's events. She was certain that Naruto had cut himself again, judging by Kakashi's behavior earlier.

Sasuke still seemed to be holding some things back, but at least he had finally eaten something.

Then again, despite her concern for him about it, Sakura knew down deep she wasn't a person to judge somebody for eating habits. After all, she sometimes even forced herself to throw up her meals to keep her weight in check, for a sense of control when felt like she ate too much.

It wasn't something she would ever tell any of the others about, of course, she knew they wouldn't approve of it.

But even so, it gave her a sense of control over at least one part of her life when everything else was falling to pieces around her. Just like last night and this morning. Unknown to anybody else, she had binged more than she should have eaten and then purged. It was really nothing new. At least not for her.

She merely had a specific diet she followed. A specific routine.

If she screwed it up, then she made it right. That was all there was to it.

"I feel worse than ever right now and my head is pounding. I wonder if I'll actually be able to get some sleep tonight? I hope so. If not, it's not like it wouldn't be a surprise."

She lied down, trying to force herself to drift off, all to no avail.

Her worries consumed her.

When Naruto came into his shared room with Sasuke, Sasuke appeared to be asleep on his bed. Naruto decided not to disturb him, and slowly walked past him. Afterwards, he decidedly got a change of clothes and entered the bathroom to take a shower.

He looked down at his marred arms, feeling guilty. Suddenly, he remembered Kakashi earlier and his plea to come to him for help next time he felt like it and briefly he considered it. Briefly, an urge hit him telling him he should. Because over the past couple of days, the craving had been hitting him like every few hours, it was driving him mad!

His arm itched and all he wanted to do was scratch, to cut. He knew this wasn't healthy. For so long, he had kept trying to tell himself he was fine, that he had it under control, but yet down deep he knew it wasn't.

And despite that, he couldn't bring himself to go to Kakashi. He had to be stronger than that. Maybe for once he could just hold himself back.

And for a while, he did.

In fact, for the entire next two, nearly three, days, he was able to fight against the urge and the budding anxiety that he felt. For at least two whole days, he was able to able to tell himself no.

He had never felt prouder.

And he was sure Kakashi would be proud too if he knew that he had forced himself to resist the urges, despite how much more persistent they were becoming.

It was that second night that Izumi and Saburo finally reached their destination, being the Port Town. Since it was dark and near about midnight, the two brothers offered their place to stay until daybreak. Kakashi decidedly agreed, but him and Sakura afterwards went off with Izumi to view some scenery under the moonlight, which Izumi insisted upon.

For whatever reason, Naruto had chose to go to bed, while Sasuke had stepped outside to do some target practice, mostly out of boredom, but also needing to blow off some steam. Even in the dim lighting, it was enough for him to see.

Naruto, meanwhile, took a shower and then fell asleep for a few hours.

However, all of his efforts to stop himself came crashing down when he once again woke up in cold sweats due to yet another nightmare. Things of which he didn't even want to thing about.

He hated it. He hated it. The glares. The harsh whispers. The insults.

It all felt so real.

Even the occasional abuse and other things which he had never wanted to speak of to anybody.

"It's all because of that thing inside of me. If it wasn't for that stupid fox, I wouldn't have to deal with any of this! Dammit!"

He could hardly breathe. He needed to breathe. He needed to let it out, the self-hate, the anger, the frustration. All of it, he needed to get it out. He needed to forget the pain.

Jumping to his feet, hardly aware of what he was even doing, he groped around the room, desperately searching for the sharpest object he could find.

Kakashi had his weapon pouch so that was out of the question. But then he noticed it: Sasuke had left his bag in the room with him. Maybe he had some kind of weapon in there? Sure enough, he managed to find a shuriken after spilling out some of his stuff onto the floor. It wasn't as comfortable to hold as a kunai, but honestly, he couldn't care less. At this point, anything would do, as long as it drew blood.

And he didn't even think twice before slashing it across his arm.

Over and over again.

Blood trailing down his arm and onto the floor.

The sting he wanted, that he needed.

His mind becoming more relaxed with each slash.

Somewhere in his subconscious, he thought he saw a shadow out of the corner of his eye in the door way, but didn't acknowledge it.

Little did he know that it was Saburo who had passed by the room and witnessed the sight of it, immediately after running outside to Sasuke in a panic.

Sasuke had fallen asleep on the ground, tired out from his training. A few strands of his hair kept blowing over his face, and the chill had been quite refreshing, which was exactly why he had found it so easy to fall asleep.

Saburo, shook him awake, however, ruining his peace of mind.

"Huh? Oh, it's you. What do you want?" Slightly dazed, Sasuke looked up Saburo, who seemed really upset about something. "What are you getting so worked up about?"

Honestly, it would be so much easier if he could talk.

Saburo pointed at the house, and made a motion favoring a wrist slash. Sasuke was heavily confused for a second, but suddenly it dawned on him what he was trying to get across.

"Wait, are you talking about Naruto?" All sleep drained from him and he was on immediate alert.

Saburo frantically nodded, pointing in the direction of the room they were staying in from outside.

"...Dammit! I shouldn't have left him alone…! Shitshitshit!" Almost faster than his feet could carry him, he ran into the house and made a beeline for the room he and Naruto were staying in.

And there he saw him, shuriken in hand, bloodied arm, lacerations covering his arm, more gashes than he could count.

He then noticed his bag was spilled out on the floor and it didn't take much to realize where Naruto had got the shuriken from, and an unbearable sense of guilt hit him. It was his shuriken Naruto was using. He'd left it there in his bag to be picked up by anybody. How could he have been so careless?! Kakashi was going to kill him...!

"Naruto…?! Naruto, give me the Shuriken!" Sasuke demanded, quickly approaching him.

"No! Stay away from me, you bastard!" Naruto snapped at him, pulling away.

But Sasuke didn't back down, he refused to just stand there and do nothing like the last time he saw Naruto acting like this. Despite Naruto's protests, he continued to reach and wrestle with Naruto for the Shuriken for fear of him, getting Naruto's blood all over himself.

A part of him felt bad for not being able to handle this is a kinder way like Sakura was able to, but before Naruto also wasn't holding a sharp and dangerous weapon, so he felt like he didn't have a choice and he was far too shaken up to think straight about it. More than anything, he knew getting that away from Naruto was top priority or he might hit something important.

Naruto put up far too much resistance for his comfort level but at some point Sasuke won the scuffle, and finally managed to rip the shuriken out of his best friend's grip, all though he had got slashed a few times in the process.

"No, I won't! You have to calm down...!" He threw the deadly weapon far out of reach and quickly moved to hold Naruto back when he started to reach for it.

"Hey, I needed that…! Give it back to me, teme!" Naruto's voice cracked, causing Sasuke to near about fall to pieces himself.

"No, I won't allow you to keep hurting yourself…!" Sasuke held him close, tighter than ever, as he tried his best to continue holding Naruto off from getting back up to pick up the shuriken again.

"You don't understand, Sasuke…! I need this...! I need it to stop…! For it to go away...!"

"For what to go away?!" Sasuke desperately wanted to know, as Naruto scratched his face in the midst of his struggle. "Stop struggling, you idiot, and talk to me already! I just want to help you!"

Sasuke felt he probably sounded out of character, but seeing Naruto like this terrified him just as much as it had about four days prior. Nobody that was sane could exactly act 'themselves' in a situation like this.

At some point Naruto finally gave in, relaxing.

"I swear to god, Naruto, if you do that again, I'll kill you myself…" Sasuke finally muttered, finding his breathing erratic. "I can't watch you do this to yourself..."

"...Sorry..." Naruto mumbled. "For scaring you… You can let go now…"

"I don't trust you." Sasuke said plainly.

And Naruto couldn't blame him.

"Looks like I really screwed up big time, didn't I…?" The blonde murmured, letting his friend hug him. "For the past two days I tried my best to control the urges. I thought there was a chance I could stop, but earlier I woke up from a nightmare and just lost it. I don't know what's been getting into me, Sasuke. I'm swear I'm trying, just like Kakashi-sensei asked me to, but I completely blew his trust for the third time in a row, and now he's gonna be so mad at me god I'm such an idiot…!"

"Naruto, listen to me." Sasuke used the same phrase Kakashi had when he needed to get Naruto's attention. "You need to calm down and breathe. Think about this rationally. Kakashi would never get mad at you for something like this. The only thing that matters is that you tried, right?… Besides, if anybody's to blame, it's me for leaving my bag in here… I'm sorry..."

"What? No, this isn't your fault at all! I should have had better restraint…! I should have…! Dammit…!" Naruto hissed out, feeling more self-hate than ever.

"You shouldn't worry about it… C'mon...," Sasuke said uncertainly. "We should clean this up..."

A/N: Wow I hope y'all liked that. I swear I tried my best. :D