Story: Melancholia Chapter 21

I WILL REPLY TO REVIEWS IN THE NEXT UPDATE, I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO WRITE.

Also, I'm so sorry, it's been so long, y'all. Stuff kept coming back so I couldn't write.

So this chapter sorta has a trigger warning at the beginning as a flashback, but nothing too graphic?

I really don't like how this turned out, but I kind of based Naruto's feelings in this chapter off my own after similar stuff happened to me, so urm yeah. Everything feels unnatural and ooc, but I tried my best to make everything work, considering.

And Sasuke just felt...off but this was the only way to make this AU work so I'm crying.

Naruto felt hands on him. They were pinning him against a wall in an alley. The sky was dark and only the moonlight made it possible to make out the figure in front of him.

There was a guy standing in front of him probably around the age of forty and he smelled heavily of alcohol. Clearly, he was drunk. He glared down at the boy with the coldest expression he'd ever seen. Naruto felt his insides tighten as he swallowed.

His mind was telling him he needed to move. He had to get out of here, but his body was frozen stiff. He couldn't even breathe.

"...My wife. You took her from me. That damn monster inside of you took her from me… Tell me, why did she deserve to die, huh? What did she ever do to deserve to die? Tell me!"

"I'm sorry, I…!" Naruto uttered, but was unable to formulate a proper response. Suddenly, he felt immediate empathy for the man who had lost his lover, and looked away almost guiltily, unable to say anything else.

This, however, was a grave mistake, because next thing he knew, a fist flew into his face.

"Sorry? You're sorry? How dare you! What the hell's saying sorry gonna do to bring her back to me!? Mari was everything to me and now she's gone and it's all your fault! All your fault!" He repeated his tantra over and over again.

At some point, the man seemed to calm down, looking down at the boy who had sunk down to the wall, "Hey… Kid… You hav'a jutsu that can transform you int'a woman, right...?"

"Y-Yeah. What about it…?" Naruto replied hesitantly, getting a really bad feeling, but still not moving from his spot.

The man held up a picture of a woman with auburn hair and green eyes. "Right now, I want you to transform into her."

"Your wife? But she's-" Naruto started to say but jumped startled when the man aggressively kicked him.

"Just do what I said! And hurry it up, I don' got all night!"

"Okay, sheesh! I'm doing it, already." Naruto did as he was asked, before standing back up and turning himself into a perfect replica of the woman in the photo. "There… You happy now?"

For a long moment the man was quiet as he stared at Naruto in the form of his wife. "...Mari."

"Um… Can I-" Before Naruto could finish his sentence, he was shoved against a wall, the man's lips smashing in him, cutting him off. His entire being went cold.

I can't breathe!

Naruto woke in a cold sweat, gasping for air. Tears clung to his eyelashes. Without even thinking, and having forgotten his surroundings entirely, he started digging into his arm which still was painted red by marker.

"You can't go around teasing people so much, if you don't plan on carrying through with it. Don't you think that's a little cruel?"

He wanted to throw up.

He needed a release.

He needed to breath.

"Naruto…?"

He needed blood.

He-

"What's wrong? Hey, talk to me." He barely registered a voice as hands desperately separated his nails from his wrist.

He couldn't move his arms. He squirmed around and shook his head, tears freely falling from his face as he tried his best to escape the grip of his attacker, lashing out any way he could in self-defense. "No, stop, let go of me! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-!"

"Naruto, it's me, I'm not going to hurt you! Just please, listen to me. Whatever kind of dream you were having, you're safe now..."

After another moment of resistance but hearing his former teacher's voice, Naruto finally seemed to be calming down, taking in what was said. He looked above him and sure enough.

"...Iruka...sensei…?" Naruto choked out as he looked over and saw Iruka standing there. He felt a bit guilty when he saw a couple scratch marks on Iruka's face, already knowing he was the one who caused them.

"Yeah... Are you... feeling any better?" Iruka asked softly in response.

"I think so… Sorry for hurting you…" Naruto murmured in a low voice, as he started to sit up.

"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're okay…" Iruka let go of Naruto's arms once he had seemed to calm down. "What was it you were dreaming about? It must have been pretty bad to have you that scared."

"It's nothing… I..." Naruto looking away, trying to think of what to say. Iruka was not an idiot when it came to reading him.

However, whatever response or explanation he might or might not have come up with was cut off by the door opening.

Naruto immediately turned his head away when he saw it was Tsunade stepping in.

"Hokage-sama!" Iruka jumped up and bowed in respect.

"So… How have things been going since earlier?" Tsunade asked.

"Well, over all, things have went pretty well. He did sort of scratch himself a moment ago due to a nightmare he was having, but I managed to calm him down before things got too bad. Additionally, we were also discussing some potential coping mechanisms, like with markers." Iruka explained.

Naruto wanted to protest due to his guilt over hurting Iruka, but decided to keep quiet.

"Glad to hear it." Tsunade smiled, before her smile faltered a bit as she turned to look at him. "On that note, there's actually something I came here to ask you, Naruto. I need you to be completely honest with me."

"Huh? What is it?" Naruto asked, getting an uncomfortable feeling.

Tsunade once again had to remind herself that this was for Naruto's wellbeing. She knew that he likely wouldn't want to talk about it, but she needed to confirm things for herself.

"...Have… any of the villagers been touching you…?" Tsunade had never thought it would be this hard for her to ask the question, but she pressed forward despite her discomfort. She needed to know. "...Or been doing anything to you that's made you uncomfortable?"

At hearing that, Iruka's eyes widened at the implication and immediately turned his head to Naruto, who seemed tenser than ever.

Naruto immediately swallowed and struggled to keep his eye contact. She knew about what was going on? How did she find out? Did anybody else know?

Oh, shit, what if it got out to others? They would all hate him. They would judge him, they would all blame him for being so weak. For not being able to stop it from happening.

He struggled to find his voice, feeling his breathing constricting.

"N...no… Why... are you asking…?..." he clutched his chest, avoiding eye contact entirely.

I need to get out of here!

Despite the temptation to run, his body felt stiff. He couldn't move.

And both Tsunade and Iruka could tell that Naruto was holding back the truth. It was blatantly obvious that Tsunade's suspicions were not only correct, but that Naruto was afraid.

Iruka was beside himself, feeling worse than ever for not having realized such a thing was going on. Who would do such a thing to him?!

Without thinking, Naruto had started scratching at his throat due to his nerves, only to be stopped by Tsunade, who moved even faster than Iruka.

"Naruto, if somebody has been hurting you, you need to tell us." She started to reach out towards him, but unfortunately the reaction this warranted was the exact opposite of what she intended.

"No, don't touch me!" Without any warning, he quickly pulled away, terrified as he backed up on his bed. "There's nothing to talk about. Leave me alone!"

"Calm down!" Iruka pled, when the boy started to get off the bed, holding him back. "I promise we're not mad at you. We just want to help, but you have to work with us..."

"No, I can't! I already said nothing's going on, so just drop it already!" Naruto didn't even know where the emotion inside of him was coming from, but he couldn't think straight.

Tsunade sighed, sparing a glance at Iruka. Once again, she approached Naruto but didn't touch him this time. "...I know why you're afraid. Believe me, I understand all too well what it is you're going through, so I'm not asking you to open up about everything right this moment… But… About what's happened to you, it isn't your fault-" She started to say but was cut off by Naruto.

"No, you're wrong! Every time it happens, my body just freezes up and I can't stop them... I… guess I feel bad for them or something, but… It's like I don't know how to respond, ya know? I'm a ninja, I'm supposed to be stronger than that, and I can't even..." He had once again pulled in on himself, clutching at his arm. It was then that he realized he'd let more than intended slip out.

Hearing him blame himself for such things tore both Tsunade and Iruka to pieces, but at least he had confirmed their suspicions, so they knew what they were dealing with.

That's when the conversation with the doctor and Naruto's delayed response came to Iruka's mind. This was why he hesitated. He was afraid to say that the villagers had been messing with him.

"Naruto... You can't blame yourself for what somebody else did to you. You're just a child, of course you wouldn't know how to respond." Iruka immediately insisted, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. He hated this. He wished he could do more for him.

"But I should have done something…Yet I just keep letting it happen… I... I'm so stupid..." Naruto uttered, trying his best to keep himself calm.

"You are not stupid. What you're describing is entirely normal for somebody in your position. That sort of thing happens to many others too." Tsunade told him.

"What? Wait, you mean-" Naruto immediately looked back up, his eyes brimming with hope she hadn't seen in weeks.

"Yes, you're not alone." Tsunade gave a small smile.

Naruto didn't say anything, but was no doubt contemplating her words. In all honesty… Naruto still couldn't help but blame himself, but at hearing her reassurance, it was a little comforting to know he wasn't the only one.

"...Actually...," Tsunade glanced away briefly, debating if she should speak on her own past or not. It couldn't hurt, right? Shizune was the only one who knew about it, but Naruto needed as much support and reassurance as he could get right now... "A long time ago, the same thing happened to me, so I know what you're feeling right now, and how scared you must be. I understand fully well how hard it is to not blame yourself, because you feel like you weren't strong enough to stop it, but I'll say it once again, it's not your fault…"

This garnered the attention of both Iruka and Naruto.

"...Even you, Obaa-chan?" Naruto's voice was low, but he was shocked nonetheless. She was the strongest woman he knew, and yet even she too had been…?

"Yes... Even me." She reached up and softly placed a hand on the top of his head, giving a pained smile. Naruto suddenly felt a sense of warmth he didn't recognize but found himself secretly craving more of. It was almost like the way he felt with Iruka but a little... different.

The feeling only grew stronger when she reached out and began to heal the new scratch marks Naruto had created earlier on his arm due to his anxiety.

"I'm entirely aware that I can never go back and stop what happened to you, and knowing you, you'll probably end up blaming yourself for years over what happened," Tsunade murmured regrettably. "but I swear to you that I'll do everything in my power as Hokage to make sure this never happens to you again. And if there's ever anything you need to talk about, I want you to know that I'm here for you. I promise that you can trust me. I'm not going to force you to talk about anything you don't want to, because I want you to do this at your own pace, but you need to understand that we can only truly help you as long as you're willing to let us in, so when you're ready, you just have to tell one of us, okay?" Tsunade said.

In truth, Naruto still had doubts he would ever be ready to say more than he already had, but he was grateful they weren't trying to pressure him into it, and a small part of him wanted to believe that maybe things would be okay.

"...Okay…" He said hesitantly, before smiling sheepishly. "Thanks, Tsunade-obaa-chan."

Tsunade smirked, unable to resist from ruffling his hair. "Now, just try to get some rest. Tomorrow, you should even be able to see Sakura and Sasuke again if all goes well. Iruka, I trust you'll be alright with him?"

Iruka, who hadn't said much due to the fact that he was still trying to process everything, nodded and bowing once again. "Don't worry. You can leave him to me."

Internally, Iruka made a vow to do whatever he could for Naruto, to be there for him.

First thing Tsunade did when she got back to her office was throw the new stack of documents on her desk on to the floor, not hesitating to curse out loud.

The anger she'd been desperately holding back finally began to rise to the surface, consuming her. Without even thinking, she picked up her chair and tossed it towards the window, causing the glass to shatter into a thousand pieces.

As if on cue, Shizune suddenly slammed the door open and came in. "Tsunade-sama, what's wrong?! I just heard a crash, so I wanted… to check up on you..."

She trailed off into silence when she saw the look on her master's face. She recognized it all to well. Her expression reflected all too well on past experiences.

"Damn it…" The older lady cursed, biting her lip.

Quickly, Shizune approached her, tackling her right before she could throw more books and documents. "What's wrong? You've been acting weird all day, ever since Team 7 got back from their mission earlier."

"...I need a drink…" Tsunade finally muttered, sighing. However, before she could leave the room again, Shizune was blocking her path. "Get out of the way, Shizune. I said-"

"No, I won't allow you do this to yourself again!" Shizune stood her ground, despite how nervous she was. "I haven't seen you this on edge in months, if not years. Just please… Talk to me… Is this something about Naruto?"

Tsunade sighed after a moment, deciding it was pointless to deny her the answer she wanted. "...He's been self-harming… Apparently, some of the villagers have been sexually assaulting him too… Quite frankly, I feel at a loss of what to even do at this point."

Shizune was momentarily speechless at hearing that. She understood that people hated Naruto due to him having the nine tails inside of him, but that? That was just going too far, he was just a kid...!

Despite her discomfort at hearing the situation, however, she kept her ground. "I see… So that's why you sent him to the hospital… Well, given your past, I get upset you must be and why… But you've been doing everything you possibly can for him. It's up to Naruto alone to open up about what's been happening and that could take time."

"Don't you think I already know that?!" Tsunade snapped, startling her, unable to keep from clinching her fists, barely restraining the urge to destroy the entire building. "That's exactly why this is so frustrating. I want nothing more right now than to get the names of every single one of the monsters who even dared to lay a hand on him, but I understand all too well what that boy is feeling right now."

"...I'm sorry." Shizune looked down after a moment,

"No…" Tsunade, let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding in. "You're right. I need to give this some deeper thought and calm myself down."

"...Well, as a suggestion, maybe you could have Naruto stay with somebody when he gets out of the hospital like one of his teammates or somebody that he trusts. For one, it'd make it easier to keep an eye on him so he doesn't hurt himself anymore, but also… It would also protect him too, in case one of the villagers try to do something to him again..."

"Huh, that's actually not a bad idea..." Tsunade mulled it over, cupping a finger over her chin. There was always the option of assigning an Anbu to stay with Naruto, but she knew that probably wouldn't go over well and she'd prefer not to use such tactics except as a last resort. Having a friend stay with him seemed to be less invasive than the latter. Additionally, it could also save him time so he doesn't have to stay in the hospital as long. "I think I'll keep that in mind."

The lights in Sasuke's house were out. He had found himself lying on his bed as he stared up at the ceiling and reflected on his conversation with Kakashi earlier.

"That guy… He said something about Itachi… Like he was being manipulated by the Anbu and double agent or something when he…" Sasuke clinched his fist, the image of his dead family flashing before his eyes again.

"Well, I figured it had something to do with Itachi..." Kakashi said in a calm voice, taking in what his student was saying, but his face hard to read. "Quite frankly, I have my doubts about whatever that that boy may have told you, but let's say by some chance that that was the truth. What would you then? Rush in, demand answers, and get yourself killed?"

"No." Sasuke muttered. "I have plans to take this slowly and get the answers I need, even if I have to do it from the inside… Only then will I decide what I have to do."

"Hold on…" Kakashi paused when the realization hit him. "Sasuke, you're not seriously thinking about joining the Anbu, are you? Do you have any idea what kind of risks you would be putting yourself through? The orders you would be given? Just think about it. You would be required to kill without a second thought if that's what suited the mission."

"I don't care." Sasuke said simply. "If that's what it takes to achieve my goals, then I will carry out whatever mission I have to. From this point on, I'll be making my own judgements, so don't try to stop me."

Kakashi wanted to protest, but knew he was nobody to talk, since he himself had joined the Anbu in the past as well. And if what the boy had said about Itachi was true, then it was worth it to look into. Besides, Sasuke had every right to seek out the truth behind the massacre of his clan if there was more to it than what everybody else believed. "Don't worry. I won't. But, before any of that, I first want you to give this some serious thought, and if, say, in two weeks from now, you're still this adamant about it, then I will gladly hand in my recommendation as your Teacher, Deal?"

Sasuke was silent for a moment, before snorting. "Fine, whatever..."

Kakashi smiled, patting him on the head. "Good. For now, just go home, and get some sleep, okay?"

A part of Sasuke wondered if he really was being irrational, but he quickly reminded himself that he needed this.

No matter what anybody else told him, he refused to be manipulated by Orochimaru and Itachi. He needed to find his own path and answers now, so he would get stronger by his own means, not by theirs.

After all... He couldn't hurt Sakura or Naruto anymore like he had been.

A/N: Sorry it's probably not as much as y'all wanted but it's been so long so I wanted to get some more up. I'll go more into Sakura in the next chapter.

So in regards to Naruto's sexual assaulters if you didn't realize, they're using him to transform for sexual favors because they're huge dicks. I only showed one of them, but there are others.