As always, a massive thank you to Ambush99 for her wonderful betaing skills.

Chapter 10

"Wands down!" June Adams, the lead healer, commanded as she watched her patient's breathing becoming increasingly laboured.

"June, I haven't finished my assessment of his wrist," Mike, the other healer, replied, as he stared at the boy's swollen and bruised wrist.

"I know, but that's not going to do a lot of good if he's not breathing."

"Then how is lowering our wands going to help him?"

"I don't know, but I think he's having a reaction to magic," June replied, frowning as she watched the desperately ill boy in front of her. "I need to know everything you know about what happened to him."

"I don't know a lot. This is the first time I've seen him this term. All I know was he returned from school late, apparently drunk. There was a rumour going around that he had died from dragonpox," Madam Pomfrey started hesitantly.

"Dragonpox? Was he ill before he left at the end of term?" June questioned.

"No. He's generally fit and healthy. I've seen him a couple of times due to Quidditch injuries, but that's about it."

"What position does he play?"

"Beater."

June nodded. Her patient's condition seemed to have stabilised. "You said he was four days late coming back this term? Do you know anything about his return and the four days he wasn't at school?"

"No," Madam Pomfrey said, shaking her head. "Professor McGonagall, his head of house, should know more."

"I need to talk to her. I need to know everything leading up to this right now!"

"Of course," Madam Pomfrey replied, nodding her head. "She's at a conference but will be back this afternoon."

"Thank you," June replied stiffly. "I need to see her as soon as she arrives. You said his friends were with him when he performed accidental magic."

"Yes, but I don't think they will be up to talking to you. They were showing signs of shock earlier, but they are okay now. I just don't want to push them."

June nodded understandingly. "I agree. I don't want any more patients." She stopped and looked down at the boy. "Sirius, you need to let us heal you. We're not going to hurt you. You are safe here. Please let us heal you," she said, as she gently stroked Sirius's forehead. June waited for a moment. "I'm going to try and run the diagnostic spell one more time. I don't know if he's not letting us heal him, or if it's something else."

The room started to shake again. Cracks appeared across the walls. A window shattered as June raised her wand. "Sirius, I need to do this. I need to know what is wrong with you. I just want to help you, that's all. I don't want to hurt you."

"June, we should put a shield charm around us. If he's going to continue to do accidental magic we need to try and contain it," Mike suggested.

"I agree," June replied quickly. "Protego." She looked down at Sirius. He seemed agitated but wasn't performing accidental magic. She sighed. She really needed to know what was wrong with him in order to heal him. Maybe they would have to resort to muggle methods, but first of all she needed to know what was wrong with him.

"Sirius, I need to run a diagnostic spell on you. I need to know what is wrong with you." June stopped and exchanged looks with Mike. "I'll do this quickly. Hopefully, I will be able to run a full diagnostic test, but I'm not sure."

"June, you need to stop," Mike said quickly, as he watched Sirius breathing begin to slow to the point where it was about to stop.

"How is he?"

"He looked like he was about to stop breathing again."

June sighed as she looked down at her patient. This had to be one of the hardest cases she had ever had. Everything she was doing seemed to be making him worse. She knew she had only one option. They would have to use muggle methods to heal him.

"I managed to perform half the diagnostic spell. He's in a bad way," June said, as she looked down at Sirius sadly. Just how had no one noticed this?! Given his injuries it should have been obvious to anyone, even to a five-year-old child.

"What did the diagnostic spell tell you?"

"He's broken his wrist in three places. He's got five broken ribs. Most of the internal injuries seem to have healed themselves. He's malnourished. That's all I managed to get before I had to stop. It did show that some dark, dark magic took place. The darkest magic I've ever seen. I also think he may have been poisoned!"

"Merlin!" Mike exclaimed. "How was he able to go to classes?! I am amazed he was even conscious."

"I know," June replied stiffly. "I will be discussing this with Dumbledore. No child should have suffered like he has."

"Do you think we need to take him to St. Mungo's?"

"Normally, yes. But Professor Flitwick mentioned they had safety concerns. I think they are concerned that whoever attacked him will try again."

Mike nodded. "I will get the muggle healing equipment and bring it here." Without a further word, he left.

Ooo

Minerva McGonagall walked slowly through the still and silent grounds of Hogwarts, appreciating the rare calmness of them. She was returning from a two-day conference on the latest developments in Transfiguration. Usually, these conferences were a source of new knowledge and catching up with old friends, but this time she had been distracted. Her mind kept wandering back to her students, specifically one, Sirius Black. The young, intelligent yet mischievous Gryffindor had recently been setting himself on a different course, a course seemingly of self-destruction. Black, along with Potter, were probably the most gifted students she had ever taught. However, with that gift came boredom and arrogance, hence the mischief. Until now she had never placed Black in the category of a troubled student. Beaufort for sure, perhaps Lupin, but not Black. Now she wasn't sure. She was beginning to wonder if he was the most troubled out of all of her Gryffindors, he was just better at concealing it than everyone else. She just wasn't sure about anything happening with him now. Upon reflection, even before he disclosed Lupin's location, nothing made sense. It just didn't sit well with her. So far he had been serving his detentions with Filtch, because, as usual, she had been too busy to set them at the beginning of term. But not tonight. Tonight, he was going to serve the detention with her. Then maybe she could pull him off the path of self-destruction he had set himself on.

"Filius," she greeted her colleague. "How has it been in the last few days? No one blew up the castle I hope."

Flitwick visibly paled. "Good evening Minerva. How was the conference?"

"It was fine," McGonagall replied, sending a piercing look at her colleague. "But I don't think you came out here to discuss the conference."

"Well," Flitwick said, swallowing slightly, trying to avoid his colleague's piercing look.

"Filius?" McGonagall pushed.

"I think it's best if you come with me," Flitwick said finally.

"What?"

"It will help explain things, or maybe it will not, I don't know," Flitwick said, sighing sadly.

McGonagall frowned as she followed her colleague through the empty corridors. "Explain what?" she called after Flitwick.

"This," Flitwick said, as he opened the door to the destroyed classroom.

"Who did this?!" McGonagall exclaimed angrily. "Who did this?! They should be expelled."

"They didn't mean to do it. It wasn't their fault," Flitwick started hesitantly.

"What? Filius, what the hell happened here?"

"They lost control."

"What do you mean they lost control? They bloody destroyed the room!"

"Minerva, they were scared. No, they were terrified, and I think they were trying to defend themselves."

McGonagall stepped back and took a breath. "Are you telling me this as the Deputy Head or the Head of Gryffindor?"

"Both," Flitwick said quietly.

She looked around the room and sighed. It had dawned on her he was troubled, and she was now beginning to realise how troubled he was. She had been hoping she could pull him off his self-destructive path before he went into the abyss, but he had gone too far this time. "Mr. Black," she sighed. "What have you done?"

"It wasn't his fault, Minerva," Flitwick said quietly, as he looked around the room. "I don't think I have ever seen anyone that scared in my life. He was absolutely terrified, yet at the same time he managed to control the accidental magic enough so none of us were hurt."

McGonagall frowned. "Where is he?" she asked softly.

"He's in the hospital wing." Flitwick watched his friend and colleague look around the room nodding. "He wasn't hurt here. He had been hurt before."

"What?" McGonagall said as she stopped.

"He was," Flitwick paused for a moment. "Minerva, there is no easy way to say this. Sirius was tortured and he's in a very bad way at the moment. Poppy has had to summon healers from St. Mungo's to assist her."

"Oh Merlin," McGonagall said tiredly, as she sank down in a nearby chair. As horrific and extreme as it was, this made far more sense than Sirius' recent radical behavioural shift. "Do we know who did this to him?" she finally asked.

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin claim it was his parents."

McGonagall frowned and shook her head. She knew the Blacks were renowned for their pureblood ideology and some claimed they were involved in the dark arts, but to torture their own child?!

Professor McGonagall reread the letter. It wasn't the first time she had received one of these letters. But there was something different about this one. Maybe it was because of the family it came from. The Blacks. She knew the elder Black son spent as much time as he could at the Potters' during the holidays. The younger Black son, she wasn't quite sure, but he wasn't her responsibility. The older son, Sirius, was. And that's whom the letter concerned.

Professor McGonagall,

Please ensure my heir, Sirius Orion Black, returns to Grimmauld Place this Christmas. It is your responsibility to ensure we greet him from the train at King's Cross.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. O. Black Esq.

Professor McGonagall sighed again. This really wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to. She knew Sirius would protest. She knew he would whine about it. But he was still a child, so didn't have a choice. She looked up when she heard a knock at the door.

"Come in."

"Professor, you wanted to see me," Sirius said, as he opened the door.

"Yes, please come in," Professor McGonagall replied, as she watched Sirius slowly and seemingly hesitantly step into her office. She looked him up and down for a moment. "Mr. Black are you alright?" she asked, observing his slightly battered and dishevelled appearance.

"What? Oh, yeah, rough Quidditch practice. You know what they are like at the end of term."

Professor McGonagall nodded understandably. "I have a letter from your father."

"Oh?" Sirius replied.

"You are required to go back to your family home this Christmas."

"Professor? Do-do I," Sirius started, looking down and around, avoiding eye contact with his professor. He nervously fiddled with his cloak. He swallowed and set his face. "Do I have to?"

"Yes Mr. Black, you do," Professor McGonagall replied pointedly. "Why? Is there something I need to know?"

"No," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "It's just really boring. It's much more fun at the Potters'."

"I'm sorry Mr. Black but you have to go home."

Professor McGonagall thought back to that meeting. Had there been any sign Sirius was in danger? Why hadn't he said anything? The more she thought about it there were signs not everything was well. Sirius had avoided eye contact with her. He never did that, even when she was telling him off. The more she thought about it, the more signs she saw. If only she had acted on them.

"What did Sirius say?"

"He didn't. He was unconscious when Mr. Lupin and I got to them."

"Got to them? Filius, what are you talking about?"

"Sirius was standing there," Flitwick explained, pointing to the destroyed gargoyle. "Just before it fell, and undoubtedly would have crushed him, Mr. Potter managed to tackle him."

McGonagall felt her breath catch in her throat. "Mr. Potter?"

"He's very upset, but physically he's fine," Flitwick reassured. "The trouble is they got caught in the falling debris and it took about forty-five minutes to get to them. Mr. Potter claimed Sirius' parents had used the Cruciatus curse on him. Poppy's diagnostic spells confirm curses had been performed on him."

"Oh Sirius," McGonagall whispered, resting her head in her hands. "How is he, and don't lie to me."

"We're lucky we got to him when we did. The healers didn't think he would have lasted much more than a few hours."

"I need to see him," McGonagall said, springing from the chair.

"Of course," Flitwick said, as he jogged to keep up with McGonagall's longer strides.

"How are Mr. Lupin and Mr. Potter?"

"Physically fine, but extremely upset and worried about their friend. I excused them from the rest of the day's classes."

McGonagall nodded again. Sirius, her gifted, strong, brilliant 'black sheep' had been attacked. They had tried to hurt one of her lions, and they were going to pay for that. No one, absolutely no one, hurt one of her lions and got away with it. She somehow managed a nod, but all the time she couldn't stop thinking of her Gryffindors and Sirius. It hadn't been his job to say he was in danger or hurt, it had been her job to protect him. She should've realised he was hurt.

If anyone had asked her about the walk from the Charms classroom to the hospital wing, she wouldn't have been able to tell them. Concern for one of her young lions heightened with each step. "How is he?" she asked as she entered the hospital wing.

"He's," Madam Pomfrey started, as she took McGonagall to one side.

"No, no he's not…" McGonagall whispered in horror, her hand covering her mouth.

"No Minerva, he's alive but he's very, very ill right now. He had numerous injuries including a very nasty and complicated broken wrist. There's dark magic none of us have ever seen," Madam Pomfrey explained.

"Will, will he make a full recovery?" McGonagall asked hesitantly.

"I'm not sure at the moment. The healers have managed to set his wrist, but his body is rejecting and fighting any form of magic. It looks like his wrist was broken by a very dark and powerful curse. They had to repair it the Muggle way."

"Oh Sirius," McGonagall whispered, dabbing her eyes slightly. "When, when did he get hurt?"

"A few bruises and a cracked rib are from school; the rest range from a few days to a couple of weeks old."

McGonagall's memory flashed back to Dumbledore's office and what she had then thought was a drunk Sirius Black, but now she knew otherwise. The poor boy had been leaning against the desk to support himself, not because he was drunk but because he could barely stand due to the pain he was undoubtedly in. His sorry attempt at essays were because he was attempting to write them with a badly broken wrist. Yet she had been blinded by all of this. She had allowed her opinion to be influenced by Dumbledore

and that dim-witted caretaker. And now a child may lose their life due to her inaction.

McGonagall honestly had no idea what she was going to do with Sirius. She knew he could be wild at times but, with what happened last term, she was honestly shocked. She knew Sirius sometimes didn't think of the consequences, but revealing Mr. Lupin's transformation location was one of the most dangerous things he could have done. She thought Peter could have been bullied into it, but Sirius? No, he wasn't the type. So why did he do it? And then this?

"Mr. Black. Explain yourself!" McGonagall started, watching one of her top students carefully.

"Well," Sirius replied. "As I was explaining to the good Headmaster, I wanted a couple of drinks before I headed back to school and I got a little bit carried away, that's all. I'm sorry."

"Mr. Black, I honestly don't know what to do with you. This could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. This, on top of what you did at the end of the last term, well…" McGonagall paused and inhaled sharply, her nostrils flaring. "Then there is that lie you got your brother to spin. Did you even think of anyone else apart from yourself?" She watched him again. There was something not quite right.

"Minnie…" Sirius started.

"Do not call me that, Mr. Black! I don't think you understand the trouble you are in right now. Did you even stop to consider how it would affect James and Peter, not to mention Remus!"

"Look Professor, I am sorry," Sirius said, straightening up. "I screwed up."

Professor McGonagall watched the wayward student for a moment. The pale face. Beads of sweat on his forehead. The unsteadiness. Was this purely down to drinking or was there something more sinister at play? Why would Sirius' brother believe he was dead?

"Mr. Black, are you sure there isn't something you want to discuss?"

"No Professor," Sirius said quietly.

Professor McGonagall carefully eyed Sirius for a moment. Dumbledore said Sirius was drunk, but now she wasn't quite sure. But then again, Dumbledore would have had a reason to say Sirius was drunk. It just didn't sit right with her. "Mr. Black." She stopped for a moment and took a breath, before continuing in a softer voice. "Sirius, are you sure there is nothing you want to talk about?".

If only. If only she had spent more time then. If only she had asked him more questions. If only she had just opened her eyes and seen what was in front of her. Then maybe she would be dealing with a totally different scenario. "Can I see him?" she finally managed.

"Of course, but I have to warn you, he really doesn't look well at all."

McGonagall stifled back a gasp when she saw the figure lying on the bed. The figure who had been so full of life seemed to fade into the stark, white sheets. His hair was lank and fell limply around his face. He barely seemed to be breathing. He was covered in sweat, but ice cold to the touch at the same time. "Oh Sirius, why didn't you say something? Why didn't I notice something was wrong with you?"

June set her face. 'Yes, why didn't you notice something was wrong with him? A five-year-old child could have noticed he was ill and hurt,' she thought darkly. June pushed the thoughts from her mind and thought of the task in hand. "He's very ill and won't be conscious for a while. You don't need to be here."

"Then I am staying," McGonagall replied, taking off her travelling cloak and setting down her bag. She sat down and took Sirius' limp hand. "It's going to be okay, Sirius, you're going to be okay," she finished, as she rested her hand on his head. She winced as the healers moved his swollen, bruised wrist. "I know it hurts now Sirius, but it will make it better. I promise." She sat there talking to him, gently stroking his hair and hoping. Hoping he still had the strength in him to pull through. Hoping he wasn't so broken he could not recover. Thinking about it, she had seen signs he had been abused but had dismissed them, not wanting to believe people were capable of such atrocities. She had failed him. She was his Head of House, essentially his guardian whilst at school. The school should've been a safe haven for him, but they had abandoned him. She didn't blame Sirius' friends, as after all they were children themselves, but she and the rest of the teaching staff should have realised and helped him.

"Professor?"

McGonagall looked up and blinked several times. "How is he?"

"Well, it looks like his body isn't rejecting the muggle procedure, which gives me hope. But I am still concerned. He's malnourished and has numerous injuries he's struggling to get over," June explained.

McGonagall nodded slowly, struggling to take in the information. "He's so cold," she commented.

"I can only surmise that it is an effect of the poison he ingested. I'll be testing a sample at St. Mungo's. I don't think it's designed to kill, just weaken the victim. But in his current state…"

"You think he's going to die before you can identify the poison?" McGonagall pushed.

"I don't know. He's fighting, I can tell you that."

"Of course, he is, he's a Gryffindor," McGonagall shot back. She looked down for a moment, as she tried to pose the next question. "If we had got to him earlier, would he have stood a better chance?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he was in any pain?" McGonagall asked tentatively.

"Yes, with the injuries he has sustained, he was undoubtedly in significant pain. When did term start?" June asked.

"The 5th of January. But Sirius didn't arrive until the 8th."

June frowned. "I'm just trying to get a sense of the timeframe. Most of the injuries he sustained were not from his time at school."

"Yes, his friends claim he sustained them out of school," McGonagall replied slowly, as she digested the new information. "Were they bad enough to impair his judgement?"

"I'm shocked he was able to stand. Why was he late back at the start of term?"

"Now, I'm not sure. The carekeeper found him at the school gates and brought him to the Headmaster. I'm not sure who said it, but when I got there they were under the impression Sirius had been at the pub for the last few days."

"But you weren't too sure?" June asked, watching the professor carefully.

McGonagall sighed. "Yes, I silently questioned it but the headmaster was so sure, I accepted it."

"Why did you question it?"

McGonagall took off her glasses and dabbed her eyes with a tissue. "There was something that didn't quite feel right. Sirius has always had a, well, he's a class clown and because of that he spends a lot of time in detention, but there was a huge shift in his behaviour at the end of last term. When he was standing in my office, I tried questioning him but he wasn't forthcoming with answers."

"Did his behaviour change during different times of the year?"

It was McGonagall's turn to frown. "What?"

"Did Sirius ever behave differently during his time at school?"

McGonagall took a moment to think back. She took a breath as she digested her thoughts, and what she was discovering saddened her. All the signs had been there, she had just not acted on them. "He was always a bit more, well… He could be quite reckless towards the end of term. At the beginning of term, he was always a little quiet."

"Did you ever suspect he was being abused?" June questioned.

"No, but now you are making me think about it, "McGonagall started, before she stopped and looked down for a moment. "Now you are making me think about it, all the signs were there. I just didn't look at them."

"Abuse victims can be very clever at hiding it. Does he have a sibling at the school?"

"Yes, a younger brother, but he's in a different house. I don't have much interaction with him."

"You need to check on him."

McGonagall nodded. She took a small breath before continuing. "Will Sirius recover?"

"I don't know," June admitted. "We still haven't identified what has poisoned him."

"Why?!" McGonagall exclaimed.

"Yes," June nodded. "We are struggling to test his blood."

"What? Why?" McGonagall asked, struggling with the new information.

"Every time we try to test his blood the vial shatters."

"Oh," McGonagall replied, not knowing what else to say. "What are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to keep him sedated for a couple of days, as I want to give his body a chance to heal. He's a very sick boy, but he has a strong heartbeat. He's fighting with every fibre of his body."

"He's a fighter," McGonagall said nodding. She leant forward, pushing a strand of hair off his face. "You keep fighting, Sirius. We will be here when you wake up, and we will sort everything out. You don't need to be scared anymore."

June watched the professor sadly. "Professor I need you to talk to Sirius's friends. They might have information that could help him. What they went through with Sirius would have been incredibility traumatic. I don't think I would help matters by asking them questions. It needs to be by someone who they know and trust."

"What do you need to know?"

"Anything. Anything you can find out will be more than I know now. And that will hopefully help me know how I need to treat Sirius."

McGonagall dapped her eyes with a tissue again. "Of course. Anything that will help him."

Ooo

She walked to one side and leant against the wall, looking at her watch. Eleven at night.

In the seven hours that had passed since she had returned, so much had happened. Now Sirius, one of the brightest students she had ever taught, was dying. How had she not seen this coming? She thought of his best friend, James Potter, and how different their lives were. She thought of the Remus/Snape incident and the aftermath. She knew Sirius would need his friends more than he ever had, but would they be there for him?

"Professor?"

McGonagall jumped slightly, as the quiet voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Mr. Potter, what are you doing here?"

"When can I see Sirius?"

"No at the moment. He's not well."

"I know, I was with him. I need to see him. He can't be alone. I promised him I wouldn't leave him."

"Mr. Potter-"

"No, please Professor, I don't care how many detentions you give, I just ask you to postpone them until I know Sirius is okay," James asked quietly, slowly looking up at his Head of House.

"Mr. Potter, come with me."

"Professor?"

"You're not in trouble. I need to speak to you about Sirius."

"He's okay, isn't he?" James replied, in a lost, confused voice.

"Do you want a biscuit?"

"What?"

"Mr. Potter, please take a seat."

James sank slowly into the nearby sofa. "Professor what is happening? What's happening to Sirius? I promised him I would help him. I promised him he wouldn't be alone, but he is. He is all alone and he'll be scared. He doesn't like the dark. Please Professor, let me see him."

"I can't, he's too sick for visitors at the moment," McGonagall said sadly.

"What the hell?!" James exclaimed, as he jumped up and started to pace, temporarily forgetting where he was and who he was with. "I need to see him. Do you think I'm going to have a bloody party in there?! Do you think I'm going to disturb him? No, I just want to be there for him."

"He's sedated at the moment; he won't know you're there."

"Do you know that for sure?! Are you a healer?!"

"No. No, I'm not. Mr. Potter, what did Sirius tell you?" McGonagall said gently.

"You can't let him go back to his family."

"Mr. Potter, I want to help Sirius as much as you do, but I need to know what happened," McGonagall pushed.

"No, that's Sirius' secret. All I'm telling you is he cannot go back to his family. You should've protected him!" James snapped. "Why aren't you letting me see him? We aren't bloody children!"

"Yes, you are," McGonagall retorted.

"And what is Sirius? He's four fucking months older than me. I can't see him because you think I can't handle it, yet he's going through this alone! What the hell!"

"Mr. Potter!"

"Professor, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," James said quietly, as he looked down. "It's because you think Sirius is going to die and you don't want me to see him die." He watched Professor McGonagall look down and away for a moment. "I know you think I can't handle it, but it would destroy me more if I knew Sirius died alone."

"Mr. Potter."

"Please Professor, I need to help him. He messed up, but I really screwed up. Not now, but before. I knew he hated his family but I..., Merlin there were times, I... When we were on the train, I would playfully punch him, and it would hurt him. He would cover it up, but I knew something was wrong. I tried to tell him not to go home but, after what happened with Snape, it all got lost. He was supposed to stay at mine over Christmas, but he didn't and now he might die."

"Mr. Potter, do you blame Sirius for not saying anything?"

"What?! No, of course not."

"Neither do I and I don't blame you either. I know you don't think of yourselves as children, but you are. It was the adults in your lives that failed Sirius. I'll speak to the healers and see what they say. But if they say no, you have to respect that."

"But Professor, if I had just reached out at the end of term. If I had just listened to him," James started, tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" McGonagall pushed.

"We had Quidditch practice, and it was fine. Nothing much happened, but he did go through the stand. He said he was fine, and I didn't question it. But I should have." James stopped and looked down, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "Professor Collins told him he probably wouldn't recommend Sirius took Ancient Runes for NEWTs. He thought he wouldn't be able to become an auror. That was Sirius's escape route. He then ran into that messed up cousin, Bellatrix and her friends. They beat him unconscious. Then he met you, and you told him he had to go to his parents. He was so scared. Really scared. So when he met Snape, it was like a perfect storm. He never meant to tell Snape about Remus, but he couldn't help it. He was so scared and pushed from every direction. He didn't tell me."

"James, this wasn't your fault." McGonagall said, watching him carefully, feeling sick with what she had just learnt.

James nodded, slowly realising how little control he had over the situation. "Full moon tomorrow," he observed, looking out the window, changing the subject.

"Will Mr. Lupin be-"

"He'll be fine. I'll talk to him before he goes down," James replied, looking away.

McGonagall nodded, realising how much responsibility her young lions took on each day.

They were legally children, yet they were taking on issues' adults shied away

from. "Do you need anything else?"

A time machine, James thought dryly. "No," he said, shaking his head. "No, I'm fine. Just let me know when I can see Sirius." Without another word, he slowly walked out of the office, feeling far worse than he did before. Sirius was dying and he had stood by for a week and let him die. How could he ever forgive himself?