This is ANGSTY ANGST! It is angsty and sad from the very beginning. It will have sweet parts, but it will haunt you and make you sad. In the end it won't be so angsty, but …. SO, be warned this is not for the faint of heart, but there is no violence. Please know that this is a story that wouldn't let me go. You will likely cry and if you don't you have no heart, so grab the tissues. This will follow some canon until I decide that it doesn't. It mostly won't, so don't get all 'that's not in the show' on me. I am aware. This will also go into the future past 2021 so no fussing over that, mmkay? This is established Rizzles. **WARNING OF MC death.
If you don't like this story, then please don't read it. I've been writing fanfic for a long time and what kills me the most is that people are being vulnerable when they gift their work for free and people troll them. Don't troll, please. Just move along. Read something more to your liking. Some people are going to HATE this and that's okay.
The plot for this story is mine and all twists and turns are mine forthwith. Please don't steal ideas or plot lines and say that they are your own. :) That's bad sportsmanship in the world of writing.
Language warning - yeah probably. I swear in real life and what I'm going to do to them is going to make them swear.
I don't own any part of Rizzoli & Isles nor am I making any profit from the use of the characters. It's just that sometimes the story has to get told and I used these characters to do it. So here we go.
Don't be afraid. I've got you.
The Stone
Part I
The overcast Boston sky matched perfectly with the mood of the woman who sat quietly in the muddy grass. It was cold and threatening to rain again. The drizzle was more of a mist that passed over her bare skin causing a shiver to roll up her spine. The woman without a coat didn't even notice.
Jane stared down blankly at the mud that was now covering her knees and shins. She wiped blindly at it and then only succeeded at smearing more onto her black dress. She didn't care. It was the last thing on earth that she cared about. Right now she cared very little about anything at all. She was numb and cold. She pulled one arm around her knees trying desperately to hold herself in one piece. She knew that if she let go she would fly apart and that there would be very little left of her.
Dark brown eyes moved up to the letters on the granite headstone. Maura Dorthea Rizzoli-Isles. 7/7/1976 - 10/6/2015 Wife, Daughter, Friend, LLBFF. The last part had been Maura's idea. Her other arm reached up and a muddy hand that slowly traced every letter, line and number. She couldn't believe that her love was gone. The pain in her heart wouldn't allow her to accept that loss. She was in the denial phase. That's what what her therapist would likely tell her. If she had a therapist that is. One thing she refused to believe just yet was that Maura wasn't really here below this marker. She knew it. She just didn't believe it. She knew it. She knew it. Maura had been cremated and a very small portion of her ashes and her wedding ring were buried in an alabaster box far beneath the wet earth. The rest were being kept in a golden urn on the fireplace mantle for now. She would travel to spread them one day when her broken heart could better deal with it. She would honor Maura's last wishes, just not anytime that Jane could foresee. She couldn't see past this very minute to be honest. She was taking her life one minute at a time just so she could survive the hours. Maura wasn't here to save her this time.
Jane's mind tumbled into thinking non thoughts. She began to speak out loud to the granite. She wanted Maura to hear her voice even if she was on the other side. Jane didn't know if she believed in heaven, but if there was one, Maura would be first in line for admission. She had to believe that her wife could hear her. She had to. "Just look at me, Maura. You so wouldn't approve. I have ruined my best shoes and I'm not sure that even your cleaner will be able to get this mud out of my fancy dress. Look at that, will ya? I wore a dress for you today. What do you think?" She laughed knowing that Maura would have been all over her for making it dirty. But the doctor wasn't here. "Hey, Maura. I miss you, babe. I'm not sure that I can do this without you. That's funny if you think about it. You're not here to help me through you not being here." Tears began to flow again. " I love you, honey. I can't imagine moving through this life without you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me what real love looks like."
"Do you, Jane Clementine Rizzoli, take this woman, Maura Dorthea Isles, as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer….. Maura NO. Well, yes, but no. No thank you." Jane rolled her eyes and pushed the piece of paper away from her in feigned disgust.
"Jane, come on. It's lovely. It's traditional." Maura batted her eyelashes over her shoulder while making classic Maura moves in the air with her hands.
Jane rolled her brown eyes with practiced perfection. "It's boring."
Marua turned and handed Jane a steaming cup of her 'very fancy coffee'. Jane made fun of it daily, but she certainly never complained about the flavor. "But, darling Jane, I will marry you for richer or poorer, although we should never, ever have to worry about being poor. I will marry you in sickness and in health and even in knife stab or gunshot wound. And I most definitely want to hold you and have you. Over and over. If you know what I mean." Maura turned her hazel eyes on Jane and gave her brows a mischievous waggle.
"Again, it would be hard not to. I will hold you for as long as is humanly possible, Love, and I will be having you later," Jane put her coffee on the counter and pulled Maura in for a long and luscious kiss. "But, babe, these words are not my words. I want to make my vows to you with my own words."
Maura kissed her lightly again and pulled away. "Okay let's compromise. We'll say our own vows just before the rings are exchanged and then when we're exchanging them, we can still do this or some version of it? Please? I've always dreamed of these words."
"Just like the silk charmeuse dress with the empire bodice?" Jane grinned. She would never forget the 'fantasy wedding' conversation.
Maura's eyes lit up. "Yes! I love that you remember that, you know."
"Come on. I know all about you! Too bad we can get to that volcano you were so hoping for, but we do want the rest of the family to attend."
"I think that getting married on the beach by Diamond Head is close enough. Diamond Head is just a large dormant volcano anyway."
"Well, it was either that or try to go to Mount St. Helens."
"No. While I love Oregon, no. I….no. Besides, same sex marriage isn't legal in Oregon yet."
"Kidding, Maur. But I also remember that you wanted some fancy schmancy cake flavors. Speaking of remembering fancy cake, what time is our appointment with the cake dude?"
Maura giggled lightly. "The "cake dude's" name is Charles and he is my family's private pastry chef. We are meeting with him at six tonight so don't let Korsak keep you. His flight gets in at 2:38. The driver is getting him from the airport and then we will go to his hotel for the initial meeting. He will have to set up in a bakery here in town somewhere to prepare samples. I'm sure that he has all the access he needs to a facility. Although I should touch base with him just in…."
"Marua. Stop." Jane smiled at her wife to be. "It's all going to be fine. He's a professional fancy cake baker dude with connections. He's got this under control I'm sure."
"You're right. I'm just so unsettled about all of the plans. It's so close to Jane. We're getting married in less than three months! The invitations are going out today or tomorrow. You best be sure about this marriage thing!"
"I asked you remember? I think I'm all in." She pulled Maura close again. She would never get enough of the feel of Maura's curves against her own. Her scent captured her every time she walked by. "I'm all in Maur." She captured sweet lips one more time before letting the doctor loose to gather up her work materials.
The M.E. had her laptop, some files around the island that needed to go back into her fancy briefcase and a print out of an article she was reading on stem cell research that she wanted to read over her lunch just in case Jane was out or too busy. She talked as she gathered.
"Thank goodness everyone knows where we're getting married. So far we've had no one complain."
"Seriously? How can they complain about a free trip to Hawaii?"
"True. I know that it seems extravagant; paying for everyone to come, but we are chartering the plane so everyone can fly for free. It was less expensive that way anyway. I wonder what I should choose for the on board movie. OH! Bridesmaids!" She laughed at her idea.
Jane stood there taking it all in. She was getting ready to marry Maura and she still had no true idea of just how much money her family had. It really didn't matter to her at all. Maura's job was very elite and likely paid well enough to cover it all with that income alone. Not to mention all of her book sales and royalties. Jane's detective salary couldn't even put a mite in the box when it came to all of this.
Maura saw the look on Jane's face. It was the panic that set in whenever the brunette thought about her finances and the implication behind them. She reached out and lightly touched her arm. "Jane?"
"Hum?"
"It's all okay. When we meet with our attorney tomorrow we will give you a run down of everything you will need to know and learn. It's a lot to take in for someone not raised in it. Trusts, the foundation, holdings, properties, etcetera. I know that it can be daunting even to me on occasion. But Jane, we have people in place that have been with our family for as long as the family has been around who manage most of it. There is a booklet somewhere with all of the information on it. You can read that, but it reads like a text book on economics. Sweetheart, you are so wise and smart that you will know what needs to be done should something come up, but we have a lifetime to figure it out. Jane, I'm being serious here so don't laugh this off. You know that I have quite a lot. You know that, right?"The detective nodded her head. "I have never hidden it from you, but you have never asked how much." Jane started to respond but Maura held up her hand. "I know you say that you don't care, but I know that you do care and that there are a lot of emotional elements tied to you not wanting to know. You're protecting yourself on one hand and saying that you're not enough on the other. Tomorrow you will know. And it will scare you and make you all kinds of nervous. Here's the thing, my love, I want you to have all of it. I want you to have it right now. I want you to have it so that you will never think that it's 'my money' and not ours."
Jane wasn't comfortable with any part of this conversation. "Maur, you can't just give me all of your money and stuff and …. things."
The doctor became slightly defensive even though they had discussed this several time over the past months. "Why not? It's all mine and I can do whatever I like with it. I can give it to you. I can throw it in the river. I can burn it all. The point is that none of it makes a difference to me if you're not comfortable with it. None of it matters if I don't have you. Don't you see? It's never mattered to me except that it buys me the pretty things that I like to have now and then. What matters to me is you. It matters to me that there is never a question of me holding it over you. I will never want you to feel insecure when it comes to money and things. They are just that things. They are things that make life easier, yes, but they will never mean to me what you mean to me. I would live in a shoe box with you if it made you happy…..so long as you let me choose the shoe box."
The last part made Jane laugh lightly. "Okay, fine, but let's just talk more about it tonight at dinner. You know, why can't it just be ours even though I don't know if I want any of it? It isn't mine. I didn't earn it."
"Jane, come on. I didn't earn most of it either. It's old family money. It came to us on the backs of a working class who served those who happened to have the right name. My grandfather Isles, was able to grow the money he inherited from some baron or French noble, that is down our family line, into an iron fortune or was it ships? Maybe both. Either way, the only money I've ever personally earned is from doing what I love."
"Even then, you make so much more than I do. You would be rich without the Isles family fortune. I would be just a middle class detective doing the Lord's work of putting away the bad guys." Jane grinned at her fiancé.
"That's what makes me love you so. What you do is so important to me and to the world at large. Your work is your wealth. You could make more doing something else, but you choose what you do. You choose to work for the greater good at a detriment to your own wellbeing." Maura paused. They had discussed money so much that she was out of words regarding it. She didn't want Jane to pull away from her once she found out the whole truth about her family. She came from those people, and she didn't want Jane to constantly feel like the outsider although that's how they would treat her no matter what. "Tell you what, I'll agree to keep some of it in my name and put a portion in our holdings as a couple, but you will get the lion's share. It's how I want it."
"But, I…"
"Jane, I want you to have it. You have to have it. If anything ever happens to me…."
"More likely me"
"...or you, there are things that you will need to know. Things that you might need or we might need. It's for the future."
"Okay, Dr. Isles. Your money makes me nervous so I am definitely NOT marrying you for that. Make sure your mother knows what you're planning." Her voice was deep and serious on making the last point.
Maura laugh out loud at the comment. "My mother is the one who suggested it when I told her we were getting married. She said to me, in the most serious mother tone, "Maura, darling, let me give you some advice. Be sure to secretly gift a a large portion of your money to Jane, it will keep at the vultures from squawking. I'm suggesting that you do it for her and your future."
"Oh goody. Vultures. You sure you don't want a pre-nup?" Jane sent Maura a mischievous grin.
"Bite your tongue, Jane Rizzoli!" Maura was amused but stern.
"Maura, I just want to marry you. I want to live my life loving you and I don't give two rats ass if
it's in a mansion or a fancy shoe box. As long as I have you, beer and some food I have everything."
"Ditto, my love. Except for the beer."
Jane laughed as both phones buzzed at once. Jane picked up her Blackberry and answered with the mirth still heavy in her voice. "Rizzoli."
Maura mirrored her fiancé. "Isles"
Serious detective Jane came back online. "Okay. I'll be right there."
"Yes, I understand. I'm on my way." The blond nodded. "Time to go to work, my love."
They both leaned over for a quick kiss before walking out the door.
"Janie?" Angela pulled her coat tighter around her as she approached her daughter. She knelt as best she could beside her distraught child. She knew that Jane was having a talk with Maura and didn't want to interrupt, but it was time to go. "It's time, baby."
Jane wiped her eyes at the sound of her mother's voice. "Hey, Ma. I'm...I'm talking to Maura. I know it's time to go." She turned again towards the gray granite stone. "Hey, Maur. I gotta go. There are a bunch of people coming to the house and the limo is waiting. I love you more than my life and if I could have traded places with you I would have. I'll be back soon, babe. I miss you. I will always miss you." Jane unfolded herself from the ground. And faced the car line.
"Give me a minute, Jane. I'll be right there." Angela looked at the ground. She couldn't face her daughter's pain right now.
"Okay, Ma." Jane stepped away and let her mother have her time.
Angela looked up at the gravestone. She took a deep breath as the tears started to fall again for the hundredth time today. "Hey, Maura. It's me, Angela. You're other mom." She couldn't contain her sobs this time. "I can't believe you're gone, sweetheart. You made such a huge difference in our family and to Janie. I just can't. I love you so much. I'm glad that you're no longer in pain. I'm glad that you get to rest, but I'm so sad that I can't hug you one more time or bake you some cookies. I'm going to miss you my sweet angel. I promise I'll take care of her for you. If she'll let me that is. You know our Janie. But listen, we need to go, Maura. There is a house full of people waiting for us to celebrate you. I love you, Maura. So much." Angela pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped her nose. She stood up and took one long look at the gray head stone. "Goodbye, sweet girl. I'll see you again soon." She turned her back and walked to Jane who put and arm around her and led her away to the limo.
The gray headstone stood alone as a guardian in the cemetery waiting patiently for next time.
I warned you. This story came to me while I was walking my dogs. All of a sudden it hit me and the next thing I know I'm sobbing in the middle of an open field. I was like, No. No I can't write this. I can't…. and so I did. It kept me up until I wrote it. I wrote it all ALL in less than a week. It was like a muse download. I'm making it into a screenplay with different characters obviously, but this is what came to me first so this is what gets written. You see, writers really don't get to choose what they write. What they write chooses them. I hope that you stick with this one. Thanks for reading. K.
